I Wish I Was Good At Blogging @cljb-blog - Tumblr Blog

Friendly reminder

You don’t get to celebrate new year if you aren’t born on the planet Earth.

Fine, I’ll allow the moon too.

#earthborns only #moonborns ok #I guess I can be convinced to allow marsborns too #fine fine fine any organisms from our solar system #peace and love to all from the milky way #you can go exclude your own mamma

I hate having dreams

So one day I was day sleeping and I was dropping in an out of light sleep. I was doing this annoying thing as well where I was lucid dreaming but also day dreaming, basically my brain was consciously and unconsciously making up stories to keep my entertained. I was sleepy enough but I didn’t want to get up even though I needed to wee. I guess my brain decided it was fed up of being my jingley court jester and made an executive decision because the stupid lump of coal decided to force me awake. Now, I was dreaming about some girl being groomed and he baby kept disappearing so we were all looking for it. Weirdly, I was trying to pick up meat that kept dropping but everyone else was looking for the baby. Then I see something creeping across the counter on the corner of my eyes. Think of the spider in Spider-Man: into the spider verse but not blue or red. But like fucking massive with a lot of very hairy legs. Obviously my dream self sees this crap and loses it. I’m not really really scared of spiders but they unnerve me. So I tell everyone “omg, look at that spider” but the imaginary fucker keeps disappearing?? Then this Bitch my dream came up with goes to the edge of the room and picks up the fucking spider from a vent it had disappeared into. Dumb bitch keeps staring at said spider has if waiting for an answer to explain the discovery of the world or at least why she doesn’t feel like she’s a real person but just the figment of someone’s imagination. And then she fucking throws it at me?!! Because it’s a dream spider there to hurt me, it fucking bites me too?? And then my dream self lies of the beige carpet of this shitty room of the single mum whose baby is still missing surrounded by all the meat that I guess now live on the floor because I stopped picking them up slowly dying of poison from that huge mammoth spider which definitely is venomous wondering why considering the fact that I have some influence on this dream, why it was so fucking beige and how come no one is helping me not die? And then I woke up. My brain is such a dick. I just one day want to have a dream that sure doesn’t make sense but why be so fucking weird???

#weird dreams #spider man: into the spider verse #day dreaming #lucid dreaming #weird thoughts #dick brain #waking up alive #hate dreaming #why are all my dreams so bloody horrible #stupid pieces of shit that don’t even make sense and just end terribly #I once had to eat shit and again died because of dysentery and everyone kept pointing to my grave and crossly whispering dysentery #I usually forget all these dreams but this was particularity shit

Why did my prehistoric brain read this as why do people drive with 3 kids?

As in, 3 kids are just too many to drive with, if you find yourself in that situation then you should immediately lob one off the M4 and wish them luck fighting off the coyote like wolves prancing out looking for fresh blood.

I can’t say I disagree with that notion.

#driving #cartalkuk #Reddit #driving with kids #<3

Okay, okay, but hear me out. I’ve literally cried once trying to pull out of a parking spot when I didn’t back into it. Everyone just likes to.. move. As in, please stay where you are, can’t you see that I’m reversing? I only have two eyes that look forward. And they aren’t gonna look in front and behind simultaneously.

#driving #I swear to all that’s holy I’ve never run someone over before #things? I swear less #parking #crying whilst parking or as I say Wednesday mornings

Reading this post about someone who works from home and is exhausted all the time and all the responses being along the lines of sunlight and drink some water and thinking are we all house plants?

#I’d be a Venus flytrap #houseplant life #reincarnation vibes #shower thoughts #afternoon thoughts

#lol #I don’t actually do this #or do I?#light or heavy?

tragedy

MY BLOODY BLUE RING FELL ONTO THE TRAIN TRACKS WHIKST THE DISTRICT BLOOMING LINE IS ON THE PLATFORM. I WANTED TO DIVE IN RIGHT AFTER TILL BUT THEN I HAD TO TELL BRIAN THE BRAIN TO CHILL THE F OUT BECAUSE I HAVE TWO OTHER RINGS WHICH ARE EXACTLY THE SAME BUT ALSO I GOT THEM IN A MULTIPACK FOR A POUND AT PRIMARK.

serious talk though, I loved you blue the ring.

#life is such a cruel mistress #bye blue the ring #caplock freak outs #tragedy

So killing your child is still on the table?

Ladies, abortion has been sanctioned by Tower Hamlets road safety

#roe versus wade #abortion #odd and dark #that’s what she said

On a serious note, I have this message sent from this guy I was talking to. Was as in, I was speaking to him but broke it off as I’m a broken waste of oxygen.

AnywayS, I was speaking to this man and he was also speaking back to me. But I broke it off. And he sent a message which I haven’t opened because I’m petrified.

I’ve been having a bad few weeks and I’m waiting for some good news to come before I open it so whatever he says won’t hurt. Because I’ll be doing great and so it will just be one bad news amongst an ocean of good things. Right now, it would shatter me like glass. But there’s been no good news in a minute so now the message is just there on Signal. Haunting me every minute I’m on my phone.

But I won’t open it. I’m such a delicate little soul right now. A peck from a pigeon would crack me open all the way to my soul. What if he’s just like I never liked you anyways? Nah, better to bury my head and protect my pride. Sound advice as always little devil on my shoulder.

#i am a coward #and what?#avoidance #I will literally do anything but work

On a random note, I love Jason Mraz. I mean, I don’t know him and only know that one song I heard from my friend called I’m yours. But I just love this man. Who to me is no more real than the void man. Just a little music man that sings to me through my phone.

Jason mraz is so nice. I miss him a lot.

He doesn’t miss me. He doesn’t know I exist.

But that’s okay. I also don’t know if he’s real.

#jason mraz #love him so much I wanna die #but also not that much I’d kill myself #funny how I keep talking about death #giving me suicidal ideation vibes haha

Me:

Me: I should probably do some work or really just anything but staring at my ceiling.

Me:

Me: It’s 4:53pm. I’ll start at 5pm.

5pm comes and goes.

Me: Well, I tried, not my fault time is moving way too quickly.

#time has its own mind #i keep procrastinating #depressing shit #my life is that depressing shit

Welcome to another episode of “is it just me?”

I feel like a little fat goblin who has just finished gouging itself with cranberries and now is wondering if it can find a nice troll arsehole to crawl up, lay down and sleep for the next decade or two and dream of that time before I was I turned into a goblin by a good witch because I’m an irritating little shit and mumbling about how sick I am of being a nocturnal creature and only being able to eat cranberries not the bloody hearts of my enemy.

You’re right. It can’t just be me.

#goblin vibes #trolls beware #looking for a nice arsehole #I’m just really tired

Haven’t posted in a long while because my life has been descending without stoping into major crap. Otherwise known as having to get up in the morning and do things like a person.

I’m over all of that now. Not mentally because I’m one bad day away from a complete and irreversible mental breakdown. But I’ve decided to be over this all.

#positive thinking #fuck my life #it’s so fucking hot right now but here I am wasting my life away in servitude #kill me lol jk

So I was literally like a teardrop away from sleeping and then my mind starred imagining a white man stepping out of a doorway into... well a void so the step is really steep and as he steps into the void his body becomes unnaturally giant but only the part in the void and behind him is his natural size body?????

And now I'm petrified of large giant void man who seems to be stuck forever stepping into a steep void. Even as I type i can only see void man in my mind. It's been repeating in a loop in my mind.

Okay, real talk. WHAT IN THE BORING FECK IS THIS? As a grown woman, how can I laugh at children for being scared of monsters when void man makes my heart beat so fast? I mean seriously!!!! Why does this scare me???? Some please explain why this scares me so much. Science side? Spiritual side? Void man side?

Currently obsessed with the fact that white people used to tell their kids to pick up pennies on the floor for good luck.

Whilst black people be here like if you pick up that money, you gonna turn a goat. And then add for extra sassiness, don't come bleating at me when you do.

#black and white #white people twitter #blackpeopletwitter #thefearofthelord #pickupthatpenny #actually don't #blackparents #whiteparents #baabaa

In that same taiwanese drama, there is a character called ChuChu and the timed comments on viki have dubbed her Chu Chu train and are making comments like the train has left the station to imply she should piss off.

Am I a bad person for laughing so much? It feels low key racist, right? But her character is so annoying and I'm sure any name would be ridiculed as her character is hated so much.

#chuchu #chuchutrain #thetrainhsleftthestation #taiwenesedramas #lostromance

Currently watching this Taiwanese drama and the lyrics to the theme song include these absolute belter:

"If you were a painter,

Then ill be your canvas.."

I have to tell you all now that I may never recover from the brilliance of this lyric.

#taiwan #tdramas #taiwanesesongs #taiwanesedramas #lol #weirdlyrics

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