d e v o n
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Today's Document
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Show & Tell
sheepfilms
Cosimo Galluzzi
almost home
Discoholic 🪩
Misplaced Lens Cap
Fai_Ryy
Doug Jones
shark vs the universe
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Origami Around
PR's Tumblrdome
Interview Vampire Daily
RMH
seen from Türkiye
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seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from Indonesia
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@closed-xxxx
If you told me 4 years later I’d still be living in this nightmare I would’ve never believed it . I would’ve thought I’d at least be over it and wouldn’t care anymore. Couldn’t be more wrong. I lost most of me and I don’t think I’ll ever come back.
Hate this disassociation shit to the tenth degree I can’t downplay how horrible it feels idc it’s by far the worst thing I’ve ever experienced and has emotionally damaged me in ways I can’t put into words
This page is now closed
I hate how obvious it is that the disassociation is never going away
Experimented with countless meds and even quit meds which all resulted in zero results
So crazy to me that I used to feel real and present
You don’t know what you have until it’s gone
Used to be so naive starting a new med and having a glimmer of hope that it’d actually bring me back
Can’t even convince myself to have a single ounce of hope anymore I’ve been burnt too many times
Sick of the disassociation
Talking about how much you miss something wont bring it back
When I really try to accurately describe the disassociation to someone I am always hit with the realization of just how insane I feel on a day to day basis because I’ve gotten so good at not analyzing the symptoms anymore
The constant blaring alarm going off in my head telling me I need to fix this as soon as possible because it’s very bad has been muffled which I guess is nice but I still feel the same
It’s like the house is on fire and we have no way to put it out but at least we’re not panicking about it
A lot less liked than I used to be
By myself and others
I miss the clarity of pre disassociation
Got blinded
It’s hard to accept now and it was hard then
Hate how drugs and alcohol can make people insanely inconsiderate with zero remorse or the ability to recognize how they’re constantly making people’s lives around them worse
2025 and I’m still not myself again
Basically have to learn to mourn the death of myself
The suicidal thoughts linger a little longer these days but that’s all they are — thoughts
Pysch told me to hit him if the thoughts ever turn into plans luckily it never gets close to that