When people say that Elain is 'infantalised' by her sisters and that she takes no responsibilities or accountability or that she just latches on to whoever would provide for her...
Because as far as I remember, Elain was the one who actually went out and decided to build a life for herself with Graysen. She was the one who stepped out socially, integrated herself and Nesta back into their community, and the one who made strides for independence. Not only that, SHE was the one who sought out the most powerful human lord, who had the most soldiers and the most ash trees, and got engaged to his son. She took concrete steps to guarantee that she and Nesta would be protected should and when the war came.
This is not about whataboutalism, but once Feyre ended up in Prythian, what did she do exactly? She stayed in Tamlin's manor and enjoyed her life. She was provided for everything and she was content. Nesta ended up with a whole lot of Tamlin's wealth, and she and their father and Elain all benefitted from it and no one was terribly keen to not take advantage of it. Was Feyre not cared for and coddled and helped by Rhys when she was horribly depressed and when he took her to Night Court? Did everyone not try to help Nesta overcome her depression? Everyone was coddled and cared for, but somehow, it's Elain who is 'infantalised'. Elain didn't have an adoring male to care for her--she didn't have a Rhys, she didn't have a Cassian. She had a broken engagement, and an unwanted mate, and two sisters who were dealing with their own crap and issues, and while they tried their best, Elain was sitting in HoW for 6 weeks after being Made, without anyone helping all that much with anything.
Yes, Elain lives with Feyre right now. So what? Most women did live with their parents or married siblings until they themselves were married. When exactly did women start living independently? The 1960s? Elain does exactly what most women did in her society--she lives with her married sister. Yes, she has room and board, but she also works in the household and the community. If a 500 year old Cassian and presumably Azriel don't have their own places and live in HoW, then why are they not considered 'infantilised' when they depend on Rhys for their wages, their housing, and protection? They work, they get stuff in return. Elain works, she gets stuff in return.
Just because Elain has a generally more positive outlook on life, and she isn't angry like Nesta or self-sacrificing and self-flagellating like Feyre, doesn't mean she is stupid or naïve. She chooses to be calm and friendly and proper. She chose to give Feyre the paints, understanding that a little bit of joy in the face of darkness is sometimes all that is needed. She chose to extend her hand to Nesta again and again and again--she chose to give her gifts for Solstice and her birthday. Stupid, infantile Elain was the one who chose to step up and rammed Truth Teller through the King's throat. Stupid, infantile Elain fought off the naga with her bare feet, and demanded that Azriel save Briar--someone she didn't know and someone who could've caused everyone's deaths. Stupid, infantile Elain was the one who pushed to save the humans and went to beg Lord Nolan for their sanctuary.
If Elain was a silly dog who only cared about comfort and didn't think about anything, she would've already accepted the bond and went off to live with her mate an easy and comfortable life, because Feyre and Rhys would've provided for them.
Truly, the lack of understanding of Elain's character is astonishing. Elain is a survivor. She is the protector. She is the peace keeper. She is not a stupid, infantile Elain, who is 'babied' by others. She is not really babied by anyone. Slowly, but surely, Elain is carving her own path in this new world and new body that she occupies.