Closeted Sapphic Support @closetedsapphicsupport - Tumblr Blog

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i also followed this blog when i was very closeted as a bi girl & now years later i also manage to be out to pretty much everyone i know while also having a boyfriend who knows and is proud of me being bi 🥰 anyway thanks for the support back then and good luck on your future as well 💕

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#yall dont realize how much this means to me

Lil goodbye message: i had this blog on notification when i was closeted 100% and it was rlly helpful to me. The new post made me remember i followed you and that i don't need it anymore :-) I'm out to 90% of the people in my life and it's crazy how different everything is, how much more comfortable I feel. Thanks for the time you put into this blog, it did help. And good luck for the rest of your future 💖

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3 Years Later

Hi everyone! I recently started thinking about this blog and decided to take a scroll through it. I started to wonder if anyone has wondered where I’ve been - it’s been a long time since I’ve posted here.

Honestly I’ve changed a lot, and a lot has happened to me in the past three years. I’ve gone through a lot of horrible things, but I’m okay.

I grew a lot. I finally came out to my brother, my best friend in the world. It’s funny because I always said jokingly that I’ll come out to him when he comes out to me and that’s exactly what happened. It of course went great and I feel like that weight is lifted from me. I also did perhaps one of the most scary things I’ve ever done before. I came out to everyone in my graduate program even though I didn’t really know most of them. It was something I did in the moment without over thinking it and while it gave me a lot of anxiety afterwards, I don’t regret it. I’m proud of myself for sharing a part of who I am with other people who I see frequently, which is difficult for me.

I decided to make a little update post because I thought it might be interesting to anyone who followed me when I was active on here to know that I’ve actually made progress. Every once in a while I check this blog and see that people still find value in some of my old posts and that makes me so happy. That’s one of the reasons that even though I’m no longer active I want to keep the blog active itself as a resource to so many people. Being in the closet is beyond difficult. I’m still in the closet - I’m not out to my family except for my brother. But having those few people in your life that you can be yourself with even if it’s not everyone, can be a lifesaver.

The idea that I helped any people at all is really wild to me. When I look back I think of how low my mental health was during the time when I was most active and feeling like put all of that on my followers who came to the blog for help with their own closeted struggles. It’s funny because I started following some of you that would like, reblog, comment, etc. on my posts on my main and have you’ve helped me over the past several years in ways you’ll probably never know.

I’m not sure if anyone will see this post or even necessarily care but for some reason I felt like sharing. Idk maybe it made no sense and maybe it is helpful to some people. Hope you all are doing great and that my blog was and is a way to not feel alone in this world.

Best

-C

i know that i cant come out to anyone except like 5 friends who already know. otherwise itll start a chain reaction and people who cant know will find out, but this secret is like a weight in my chest. the idea of waiting for 5,6 years until college is like torture but i know i have no other choice. (sorry, i just needed to vent and no one else would understand. i hate being in the closet)

Hey anon. I understand how you feel. I’ve talked about this situation more in depth before so if you look through the ask tag you can find more advice about it but try maybe coming out to one person and only that person as a way to sort of relieve that pressure you feel.

-C

so i'm dating a girl irl and i really really love her. she's the light of life. problem is, i feel like a filthy person sometimes for dating a girl... i know feeling like this is really wrong and i feel really bad for it ... but i can't help it but feel dirty and gross sometimes and it makes me so sad.. i wish i could enjoy my relationship more because i really do love this girl but :(

Hey anon. I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. It’s an unfortunate reality for so many not straight people that the shame that we’re taught by society doesn’t really go away or comes up in the worst possible situations. I don’t have any experience with dating girls if I’m being honest so maybe my followers can share some advice? The only thing I can tell you, which I think is very important, is that you aren’t alone in feeling this way but nevertheless you aren’t gross or dirty for dating or loving a girl.

-C

hey, any chance you could promo my sideblog @sapphicliterature? I post recommendations of wlw books of all genres (trans/nb inclusive) and just want to spread the word about actual books with sapphic women in them since they’re usually not that easy to find :)

(can you anonymize this if for some reason it's not? Thanks!) So I'm (I think) decent at hinting that I'm not straight and some people have picked up on it (afaik) but I still feel so awkward and fake about it? And I can't find the course to come out to friends who are also lgbtqa, esp since I'm not completely sure if I like guys. So idk but just how do I come out to those people while still ensuring not everyone finds out lmao sorry this is a mess

Hey anon. I really get where you’re coming from. You don’t have to know exactly how you feel to come out you can just say that you’re not straight/into girls and if someone questions it just be honest and say that you’re not sure that you’re into guys but you know you’re into girls. Decent friends will accept and understand this especially if they are also lgbt as well as the fact that you would not like for them share that information with other people.

-C

I have a crush on my best friend and lately she's been saying stuff like "I'm so gay wish I had a gf" and I think she has a crush on someone but I think she would of told me and our other friend who it is, I also wanna ask her out any advice? (๑•́ ω •̀๑)

Hey anon. I say go for it just because I think the longer secret crushes go on for the worse they are but I’m speaking from very particular experiences. Do what you’re comfortable with, if you want to ask her out feel free to do it but also understand that she may not be interested in you in that way or it may change the friendship you have in a negative way.

This is an old ask so I’m not sure how the situation has progressed feel free to update me.

-C

I recently realized I'm sapphic and I wanna meet other lbgta ppl but whenever I even think about joining a group or downloading an app my brain goes AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA and I just. Can't

Hey anon. Maybe if you have an lgbt friend then they could go with you to a lgbt group or something. Honestly it took me about a year after realizing I was into girls to download any dating app so don’t feel bad. Give yourself time to accept this realization and be more comfortable with yourself. And remember going to a meeting of something or downloading an app isn’t a permanent commitment you can always stop going or delete your account if it feels like too much too fast.

-C

hey do you have advice for breakups?? i was with this girl for a month or so but she had family issues and broke it off because she was too stressed and i understand why but i'm really having a hard time dealing with it, i can't get up i can't concentrate eat sleep do school work or anything and i just don't know what to do, we've agreed to be friends but i'm scared she'll end up in a relationship with someone else and it'll kill me. I'm just heartbroken and i want her back, any advice??

Hey anon. This is an old message so I’m not sure if any of what I can say would be of any help but I’ll try. I hope that you’re in a much better place now however the situation has progressed. If you’re still feeling similarly you have to remember that you broke up for a reason and she’s her own person and she has the freedom to be with who she wants in the same way that you do. You have to understand that things didn’t work out for a reason and if you get back together then great if not then you have to accept that, which I’m sure is something you understand.

-C

i have no idea what to consider myself. for a long time i thought i was straight, because i craved male attention and approval, but every time ive dated a guy ive felt uncomfortable and just off-put without really knowing why. id decided at one point it was because ive never had a crush because when i applied what a crush felt like to how i felt about these boys it never truly fit. i then identified more as ace/aro, and sort of felt weird with that too [part 1]

[part 2] Recently, ive been rethinking things and think i might honestly have had crushes on some of my friends? like one girl who i really enjoyed touching/holding/being physically close to, and my close friend who when we met i got into her hobby because i wanted to be friends, and who i think is one of the prettiest girls i know. i dont know if im still ace or aro, and i dont how to progress or like, understand myself better? or how to understand what a crush is either really

Hey anon. I can’t really tell you what a crush is because I’m not sure for me if there’s a concise way to state or understand what one is and to know how and why you’re experiencing one. Different people define crushes differently but the way you describe your crushes on your friend very well sounds like a crush to me. You can still ace/aro and into women/a lesbian etc. My advice would be to explore those feelings when they arise and see where they take you. You don’t have to have the exact details of your attraction and the way you experience them figured out or defined right now or ever. Good luck.

-C

i have a crush on this girl i don't know that well and i only see her at dance (5 times a week but obviously we're a bit preoccupied). she's very quiet and shy, any tips for getting to know her better as a friend and possibly dropping hints that i want to date?

Hey anon. My advice before dropping any hints about dating would be to get to know her first obviously. Try making sure you're next to her at dance and make jokes or just ask her questions like her name, where she goes to school (?) etc. and see what happens from there. Maybe invite her to get lunch or coffee etc after dance. Good luck!-C

I've recently allowed myself to realise that I'm gay. I'm so happy to finally understand myself but I have no idea how to meet other gay women because I'm nearly 30 and not really interested in clubs. I'm not even looking to date necessarily I'd just love to meet some awesome women. I have gay friends but they're all basically married and aren't really part of the scene anymore. TBH I'm worried that they'll think I'm a fake because they've known me as 'presumed straight doesn't date' for years.

Hey anon. Maybe try dating websites or apps and specify that you're open to friendship as well as relationships. Also if you have any sort of LGBT organization in your area maybe volunteer is some capacity. If you feel comfortable maybe come out to your gay friends (I'm assuming from what you said that you're not out) and see if they have anyone that they could set you up with or that you could just get to know. Hope everything works out for you.-C

So I've been out for a year now and i still question my sexuality a lot. like sometimes i feel really good about myself and calling myself a lesbian like it feels right and others i just cant stop thinking about being a faker or lying to myself. I feel like it may have to do with that i have no lgbt+ friends at all not even online and have never been a part of lgbt+ groups or anything and it kind of stresses me out?? any advice? :'(

Hey anon. This is unfortunately a common thing that wlw experience. There's nothing wrong with you for feeling this way, it doesn't mean your faking anything. Not having contact with any LGBT people probably plays into it significantly. Obviously I would recommend if you can, at least making a few LGBT friends whether online or not it doesn't matter just be safe. Hope this helps.-C

bioethicists

hey, bi girls- life is too short and you are too important to date anyone who shames you for being bi. you deserve someone who respects your sexuality. if your partner makes you feel inferior or bad for being bi, they’re not worth it.

I just came out to my mum and she didn't take it as well as i thought. She also told me that she doesn't know how my dad will react. I really don't know what to do now...

Hey anon. I would say maybe ask her not to tell your dad. She might not agree but it’s worth a shot. I’m sorry your mom didn’t respond well, that’s on her not you. -C

#asks

there's this girl who i've become friends with and she's really nice and sweet and pretty and i developed a tiny crush on her, then she played gravel to tempo and i thought oooh maybe i've got a chance? maybe we're in the same boat? by the other day my mom casually mentioned that she went out to the movies with this guy and i know i shouldn't feel disappointed but damn i do and i don't know what to do now or how to feel.

Hey anon. I’m sorry that it isn’t looking good for you and your crush. It really sucks to have hope with someone then for it to be taken away.-C

#asks

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