Random Braincell @closetghostbun - Tumblr Blog

Hey, this is my first ask so I'm not sure if I'm doing it right but could you do headcannons for UT UF US with a pregnant reader? like, how do they take the news? How do they care for you? That sort of stuff. (I'd also love the bad sanses Fresh, Dream, and Ink but if that's too many I completely get it)

you have discovered my weakness of anything domestic and family-related omg

also this one has been sitting in my drafts for like 3 months and i finally decided to lock the FUCK in and finish it yayyyy MASSIVE POST BTW

Classic!Bros, Fell!Bros, Swap!Bros, Bad Sanses, Star Sanses, Fresh, (gasps for air) & Epic with a pregnant S/O

Sans

"hi pregnant, i'm dad." Yeah Sans has been waiting his entire life for that one, and there's way, way more where that came from.

The dad jokes get bad. They get so unbearably bad that the only way you can stop him is through channeling your hormonal rage to snap at him. Even then, that will only give you a few days of peace before he's back at it.

Sans is chill. Cool. Nonchalant. He's done this whole schtick before with his brother, and he turned out pretty great. How hard could the second runaround be?

Except, Sans didn't raise Paps from birth. He has not a speck of a clue about handling pregnancies and newborns.

So when a very knowledgeable and understanding Toriel shows up to answer any questions and recount her own pregnancy, Sans' collected demeanor unravels bit by bit at the overload of information that's entirely new to him.

Reality clobbers him and it's like okay Sans, time to put on your serious face. Lock in.

You'll never have to worry about 2am grocery runs to satisfy cravings, because, as an enjoyer of strange food combinations himself, Sans keeps the pantry stocked like a convenience store.

The one thing he understands better than anyone else is the exhaustion. When walking from one room to another becomes an Olympic task for you, he's more than happy to be your power-napping buddy.

You're gonna have to shoot down a lot of onesies with stupid jokes on them. He's going to secretly buy the one that says "daddy's little tax deduction" and one with abs printed on it, though.

He's just gonna be so difficult, but, like, in a fun way. Arguing with you over the sex. Doing stupid shit to make you laugh when you cry at the tiniest things. Excessively praising you when you feel like shit to the point of annoying you. Yeah, he's dad material to a T.

Papyrus

The Great Papyrus is not Great at all if he's not fully prepared.

There's a stack of books on pregnancy and newborns with notes all throughout the margins, highlighted sections, and sticky notes marking the important pages. At one point, you think he might know even more than you do.

There's not even a hint of fear in his soul. Papyrus is ready to tackle the challenges of fatherhood head-on, no matter what it throws at him. Even the stuff that makes him feel a little faint, like your morning sickness and the notion of all your guts getting smooshed up in your stomach to make room for the developing baby.

Within minutes of sharing the news, your phone blows up with messages of congratulations from his friends. How did he even tell anyone? You haven't seen him take out his phone at all???

Papyrus is quite literally a friend of the whole world. He makes connections with everything he does, so expect to have a lot of strangers greeting the two of you while you're out in public and congratulating you. Every soul he meets will be hearing about how excited he is to be a father, evidently.

He insists on attending mom group meetings with you, and all the women there fucking adore him (especially since he's the only man to come to these meetings. The women might be a touch jealous about that).

You might have to disappoint him when you tell him that you can't just run his cooking through a processor and bottle-feed it to his kid.

He's going to help you stay active since the exercise is good for you, so you're about to have your very own live-in yoga coach. Papyrus is very meticulous in planning your routines and encouraging you to stay healthy.

He's absolutely beside himself with joy when the baby starts kicking. Every time Papyrus feels a little thump against your stomach, he beams like the sun itself and praises his kid for already showing how strong they are (then scolds them for using those power-packed kicks against their poor parent).

He's a little disappointed that the Royal Guard disbanded after surfacing, because he just knows that you have a formidable warrior on your hands. Oh well, he's already researching the minimum age for enrollment in martial arts classes.

Fell!Sans (Red)

Ohhhhh shit. Red doesn't take the news well at all.

He heavily blames himself for fucking up with Edge (not that things could have turned out different with raising his brother, seeing how Edge turned out that way mostly because of the shitty environment they both grew up in), so to go through that again, only this time with his actual kid? Red can't remember the last time he was this scared.

Being a dad was always just a pipe dream, something he never really thought long enough about because down in the Underground, he assumed it would never be able to happen.

Now he has to sort out all his feelings in a matter of months. Good luck.

But hey, he's on the surface now, his relationship with his brother is stronger than it's ever been, and he has you, beautiful you, unmarred by the conditions of his birthplace. Maybe things won't be all too bad.

He bothers you with constant questions about if you think his kid will like him, and if he'll be any good at fatherhood. A little reassurance goes a long way.

Red really, really tries to clean up his act. No more smoking or drinking, tries to cuss less (emphasis on tries), and starts being a lot less lazy around the house.

Honestly he just wants to prove to you (and himself) that he can do this (he's lowkey scared you'll leave him for being a deadbeat).

The further along you are, the more his stress actually eases. You've been doing alright so far with no complications, and he's getting a lot more used to the idea of being a dad.

He might even be a little excited. He never got to consider his life going down this route before, and now that it's happening, it's like a whole new section of opportunities has opened up. Red will be okay, as long as he has you to experience parenthood with.

Fell!Papyrus (Edge)

Man he's proud. Soooo fucking proud and smug about what he's done to you. Especially when you're upset over it while you're retching your guts up from morning nausea.

Edge takes his research very seriously, and he's so thorough in it that he gets super boastful about his knowledge, making little comments to you about how clueless other husbands must be compared to him about their pregnant partner's states.

Red is getting absolutely whipped into appropriate uncle shape by Edge, whether he likes it or not.

The hardened warrior who's gained his fair share of LOVE back in the Underground is now a pliant, doughy ball of affection around you. He's more mushy than you've ever seen him before.

It's a massive turn on when your hormones make you "crazy" and riled up at the smallest of slights. You'll be flipping off and yelling after a car for driving too fast in a parking lot and Edge will be looking at you like you're an angel sent from the heavens.

Sometimes Edge catches himself being all soft in public, especially while shopping for supplies, and quickly corrects his composure. He HATES it whenever you bring up how he got weepy over a particularly cute woodland animal-themed mobile (it reminded him of some of his old Royal Guard co-workers).

He also gets pissed when you call him a mother hen. He's not a mother hen, he's just cooking all your meals, and ensuring that you're never wanting for anything, and micromanaging your daily routine, and fussing over you constantly, and...

He's going to make fun of you for his cravings, but damn if he's not quick to plate them up for you, no matter how weird or gross they seem.

He takes parenting classes with you very seriously and with his head held high, even with how out of place a spikey, edgy monster dressed in all blacks and reds looks in a classroom full of soft parents-to-be. He treats these classes like a competition, too, and is quite unsatisfied to learn that there isn't any sort of prize for the fastest swaddle or changed diaper.

Edge has always had an appreciation for the finer things in life, and now, on the surface, he has the means to own said things. He also has the means to give his child these things, so don't be surprised at the ebony crib or the organic cotton baby clothes that show up in the nursery.

Swap!Sans (Blue)

You've somehow made the happiest man in the world even happier.

Before you can finish your announcement, Blue is bolting to the library to pick up as many books on the matter as he can fathomably carry.

Blue immediately vaults into making lists of everything you'll need to prepare for the arrival of the baby.

He gets really attached to the fruit size scale. His weekly groceries will always include a product to represent the current size of the baby (and he proceeds to get emotionally distressed when you eat said product).

There is an unfortunate feedback loop here when your hormones size you up, where if you start crying, Blue starts crying, and vice versa.

He loooooves talking to the baby. He had to give them a whole tour of the nursery, and a play-by-play of all the cute outfits you and him bought. He does not listen when you tell him it can't hear yet.

Don't be surprised when an extremely heavy wooden box shows up at your front door. It's just baby's first set of armor, nothing to worry about. What? It's chainmail, so it's (somewhat) lightweight!

Blue goes into full chef mode, only cooking up nutritious meals listed on a pregnancy-approved forum. He's very obsessive over you getting your proper vitamins.

He is very very adamant about tracking your calcium intake specifically. No child of his will have weak bones.

Tough guy is going to pass out in the delivery room btw

Swap!Papyrus(Stretch)

Yeah it's not gonna fully register for Stretch until you're showing.

It's all cool smiles and chill vibes until one night he finds himself lying awake having an anxiety-laden staring contest with the boxed-up crib he's supposed to assemble.

Like. Oh fuck. He's going to be a dad. He still feels like a carefree kid himself most days, how the ever-loving hell is he supposed to raise an actual child?

Stretch immediately tries to quit smoking cold turkey. This does not help at all with his anxiety.

He wants to somehow be better for you in all the ways he's been putting off for an eternity by changing himself entirely in the span of nine months.

But, there is a saving grace -- his brother. Blue somehow raised him single-handedly, so he has someone to go to for advice (which Blue is happy to provide, given he's already dedicated himself to being the most magnificent uncle the world has ever seen).

Stretch is very much in full lost puppy mode when it comes to taking care of you. You'll have to tell him what you need, but he'll be more than happy to serve you.

He eventually starts easing into the idea of fatherhood, finding a new comfort in shopping with you for supplies and coming up with lists of potential names. The domesticity of it all hits him like a truck, and it honestly feels better than being high.

He especially likes finding stupid onesies online with the worst puns ever on them. Stretch, of course, buys them without consulting with you first.

He chills out completely once you're in your last few weeks. That's all thrown out the window when you go into labor, though. Back to square one on his anxiety lol, but he'll find his rhythm again eventually.

Nightmare

The terrible Nightmare, god of negativity, nervous and stressed out about becoming a father? It's more likely than you think.

Absolutely intense protective/possessive instinct overtakes Nightmare at the news. You will not leave his side for the next nine months. You'll be on mandatory bedrest for the last few weeks.

Nightmare possesses a certain soft spot for babies and toddlers. Their innocence makes his soul feel all funny, like he's forgotten about something important.

The way he shows his anticipation is in his surprisingly powerful nesting behaviors. Your shared bed gets new layers of blankets, your wardrobe becomes thicker, and anything that is dangerous or can become dangerous is stowed away or moved to higher shelves.

He gets an almost restless air about him, his tentacles either writhing behind his back like a disturbed cat's tail, or touching you in some form. He's also just a lot more testy towards his underlings, threatening them and "correcting" them for much less than before (this will not prevent Killer from referring to his boss as "pops" when he's not around).

That negativity sensitivity is crackling like a live wire inside of him. He's tense and at your side when he senses even the slightest discomfort in your body or emotions.

Besides giving you massages, he's going to make you do your stretches, whether you're feeling up to it or not. Complain all you want about how you feel tired and too massive for any of this, he's gonna have a tentacle on each limb guiding you through the poses to relieve your aches and pains (he can feel them too, so it's good for both of you).

Even before the baby is born, you're already seeing him morph into a father-shaped mass in real time. He has so much tired begrudging armchair dad reading the newspaper (DILF) energy it's ridiculous.

It's so easy to get what you want from him. You ask for anything and bat your eyelashes a bit, maybe cup your stomach, and Nightmare is on his feet to order one of his employees to fetch/make it for you.

Listen, maybe he's not the greatest guy to have as your baby daddy, but by the stars are you going to be comfortable for the duration of your pregnancy and beyond.

Killer

Oh. Well, okay, sure, if this is what's happening now, Killer doesn't really mind. He's pretty indifferent to the idea of having kids (besides that delicious little tidbit about how now the two of you are connected forever, that part he does enjoy).

Literally his reaction to the news was just "welp guess i have to clean out the litter box from now on."

He thinks your stretch marks are so pretty. They're his favorite mark that he's (inadvertently) given you.

Killer plays things real damn close to his chest on whether or not he'll actually be a good dad. For the most part, he sticks close to you, doesn't complain (too much) when you want a massage, and he's even picked out a few things for the nursery, but he's just dauntingly neutral about the whole thing.

Yeah he's scared shitless and very self aware that he's not going to be winning any dad of the year awards (that, and kids sorta scare him due to past events). But, he's playing things cool, trying to be laid-back solely to not worry you. Which, you shouldn't be worried. You can't get rid of Killer that easy.

The way you slip into domesticity while you focus on taking care of yourself though? That definitely puts him at ease and makes some fatherly instinct buried deep deep down inside of him flare up. That, and it makes him insatiably horny, thinking about you all round with his child.

That little jealousy streak he has going with you? Yeah, it gets so much worse. Nobody should be talking to his partner, let alone his partner that is also carrying his kid.

Stars, does he think it's cute when your hormones act up and make you all pouty and weepy. You're crying because you can't get a jar open? Just kill him now, you're so adorable. This also comes with the bonus of showing off for you and feeling all strong and manly.

Watching you sleep also ticks up in frequency. He's been getting dark circles under his sockets because he can't help but stay up and watch how your stomach moves with your breathing when you sleep.

The thing is, though, just as Killer is getting used to you being pregnant, you're right at the edge of your due date. Imagining having a baby and actually having one to take care of is going to be a whole other can of worms for Killer to navigate.

Dust

Dust doesn't want this. He doesn't want any part of this at all, and he sure as hell did NOT sign up for this.

He disappears sometime during the night after you give him the news. A week in, you just kinda assume you're on your own (not totally unexpected, but still disappointing) until a few days later when he shows back up and just kinda locks the hell in.

You've given Dust a lot. A home, a warm body to sleep beside, someone to just sorta be in his vicinity when things get rough so he's not alone, so he feels this really deep seated guilt and disgust in himself about what he's done to you, but he feels even worse about just straight up abandoning you.

He didn't mean to saddle you with responsibility like that, especially with a responsibility tied to someone like him. Holy self-loathing.

But fine, fuck, he's lived with the consequences of his actions before, and he'll do it again. Especially because it breaks his dusty soul into a million little splinters when you started crying after he came back from his little thinking session after hearing about his impending fatherhood.

Dust won't help you with any of the planning, you're sort of on your own for that. If you try to get him to help make a decision on which crib to get, or what color blankets you should buy, he'll always just pick the first option.

He's not entirely detached, though. The aesthetic stuff is up to you, but anything he can help with that's more physical, like cooking and cleaning around the house, he's already doing it without being told. Anything to lessen his guilt.

He still holds contempt for himself when you tell him that you're happy to be having his baby. Dust has literally no ill will for you or his kid, just for himself.

He's not going to cut his smoking or drinking, but he'll at the very least take his cigarettes outside and drink when you're sleeping.

So, he's acting as more of a maid than a father, but hey, it's something. He might soften up some after the baby is born, but for now, he just keeps his distance and attempts to keep you content.

Horror!Sans (Axe)

You don't even need to take a pregnancy test because one day you wake up and Axe is just. Sniffing you. Turns out he could smell the change in your hormones.

And once it's confirmed that yes, you are indeed carrying his child? Those protective, territorial instincts kick into full gear.

Axe has been deficient on magic ever since the Underground. He has to concentrate hard enough just to summon any ecto, so the fact that he had enough to get you pregnant??? Congratulations, you've unlocked the most fearsome papa bear this side of Mount Ebott.

"Eating for two" -- three simple words that send Axe into a spiral of worry and anxiety. Yeah, food is more abundant on the surface, but still, old habits die hard.

He just completely stops eating until you've had your fill. You try to remind him that there's plenty to go around, and that he doesn't have to make sure you're getting enough, but Axe is a damn bulwark both physically and mentally, stubborn to a fault. You will eat first, and he will watch before even thinking about plating a serving for himself.

He is OBSESSED with how tiny the baby is as it develops. You dropped a blueberry into his hand at around two months and he just stared at it, totally awe-stricken by how something so little could come from him.

Nesting instincts also kick into full gear once you start to show. When Axe thinks it's time for you to rest, he's just gonna pick you up and plop you into a big stack of pillows and blankets, and he's gonna curl around you and hold you hostage until he sees fit.

Fuuuuck he's anxious. He uses those big hands of his for tearing things apart, for handling big heavy weapons meant to cleave through enemies. Now they're supposed to be used to hold a tiny, helpless little pup? They have to be gentle, when he feels like they've only known cruelty? He's so screwed.

And he's so terrified that his little one will be scared of their own papa, what with the body horror shit he has going on.

But the curve of your stomach just fits so perfectly in the cusp of his hand, warm and secure. Axe has to remind himself that he wasn't born a killer, he just learned how to be one through circumstance. Now, he just has to learn to be something in the complete opposite direction to that. He's done it once, and for you and his child, he'll do it again.

Cross

Holy fucking ball of anxiety.

The thing about Cross is that he's a chronic symptom internet searcher. So when this guy finds out everything that happens to your body during pregnancy, and the mind-boggling amount of complications that can happen, along with some of their uncomfortably high statistics...

Massive nope to all that. The guard dog is coming out, here to keep you safe from every conceivable threat. Which may or may not include ridiculous what-if scenarios he's been scaring himself with (but what if the regular clerk at the grocery store is a maniac murderer? what if you trip and fall on nothing and then roll half a mile into a ditch? what if you get swarmed by an angry flock of birds that have a specific disdain for pregnant people?!).

You will only be sleeping with a protective arm across your stomach from now on. Cross won't let you lay outside of his reaching distance.

His worries get the worst at night. Sometimes, you wake up to him mumbling sweet things into your abdomen, his teeth pressed up against your skin as he talks of promises for his child, and how nerve-wrackingly excited he is to meet them. It sort of acts as a destressor for him, so you just pretend to sleep as he prattles off everything that he's gonna do right with them.

Cross wants so badly to feel useful around you. You're going through all these changes to your body and discomforts just to give him a baby, and it makes him feel so out of place as someone who always tries to take on burdens to relieve those around him. He'd trade places with you in an instant.

So, say goodbye to any and all chores, because Cross is molding himself into the perfect househusband so you can focus on resting as much as possible. Don't argue, just let him have this. Let him feel useful.

Every day, Cross does a little patrol around your home. He spends extra time in the nursery, ensuring that everything is up to spec and where it needs to be, and that you have everything you'll need for the arrival of his child.

Somewhere along the line, after the initial panic of realizing he's going to be a dad, Cross gets it stuck in his skull that he's going to be a terrible father. He didn't have the greatest father himself, and he finds himself under the assumption that he's going to be just as shitty.

But when he sees you talking so happily about your growing family to those you're close with, when he sees how your smile is so wide that your eyes are squinted and tearing up at the edges, something changes for him. Maybe he won't be so bad. Maybe this is the best thing that's ever happened to him.

Error

Error is, uh, not initially thrilled about this development.

I mean, his whole thing is bringing destruction to creations, to ending things rather than starting them. So the notion that he's created his own "abomination" to add to the multiverse... yeah not really something that was on his bucket list.

Just give him time to process. Error may be stubborn as all hell, but he's also a major fucking hypocrite and will justify his kid's existence one way or another, just like he justifies keep you around instead of stringing your soul up with the rest of his collection.

He's going to step up in his own way. Error isn't a family man, and he's not super ecstatic to be here, but he's still gonna show up. He's still gonna be a tantrum-throwing pissbaby, but now he's gonna be a tantrum-throwing pissbaby who's also bottle-feeding an actual baby that's been swaddled to perfection, courtesy of him.

When he gets In The Zone with his crocheting, he sometimes doesn't realize what he's making until he's done. The first time he accidentally made a onesie, he ripped it apart before you could see. Then it just kept happening, to the point that he just gave up and adds each one to the growing collection.

He's going to bitch and moan about it until the damn cows come home, but fine, he'll steal extra chocolate from Underfell, just for you.

From the way he complains, you'd think ERROR is the one going through all the physical and mental changes of being pregnant 🙄

He's going to make you upset at some point with his all his grumbling, and he's going to feel really shitty about it the second it happens. When he makes you upset like that, he just grabs at your clothes and pulls you into a loose, begrudging hug (the best he can do) and give you some stilted little "there, there," comforting.

The one thing he does appreciate is that you're pretty sedentary as you're getting close to term, which means you can finally just sit fucking still for once and watch his shows with him instead of making an excuse to dip out before he starts infodumping.

He will deny deny deny, but he is looking forward to having a little one to tout around. It feels almost familiar, for some reason. Comforting, too, to a certain degree.

Dream

Congratulations, you won!

You are going to absolutely filthy spoiled by this guy. In fact, maybe a little too spoiled -- Dream hesitates to let you do anything, equating you to fragile as glass now that you have precious cargo. You're definitely going to be on bedrest for the last few weeks of your pregnancy.

Dream wants nothing more than to show this child all the love he never received, to keep them close and remind them of how much the universe cares about them, even if they're different (which, there's a good chance of them being different, on account of his own demi-godhood).

Dream is going to fuss. Hover. Worry. He's going to be every flavor of overbearing that you can imagine, and attend to your every need before you even realize you need to be tended to.

Yeah, those empathy powers come in absolute clutch. The very second he feels a shift in your emotions, he's swept up to your side and asking you what you need.

And damn does it pain his very soul when you snap at him for being overbearing. But he's understanding and will give you your space when you need it (as long as you let him pamper the fuck out of you when you're feeling up to it again, because that's what he does best -- care for you).

Dream didn't really get a childhood of his own, so he's absolutely gonna live vicariously through his baby. He's stockpiling all his favorite stories and lullabies to share for when it's born, and he is slowly amassing an army of stuffed animals in the nursery (you swear he comes home with a new one every week...).

Under all that excitement and wonder lies a thousand lingering worries. Will his child have a targeted painted on their back from birth? What if they are ostracized for his heritage and potential powers, like his brother was? How is he supposed to be a good father, if he never even had any parents at all?

Dream wants to be a rock for you. He wants to be the one to tough out all the bad to give you only the good. You might have to give him a gentle reminder that you're on the same team, and to share the good and the bad with each other. He's always thankful for your more grounded approach and way of thinking when his head gets stuck too far up in the clouds.

The Guardian of Positivity is at your beck and call. You'll figure it out together.

Ink

I HATEEEE when people say that Ink would be a bad/absent father. But like literally his whole thing is about protecting the creations of everyone else, so of course he's gonna go hard as shit on protecting and nurturing a creation that's his very own.

Obviously he's not gonna be the very best and most present father, on account of both his job and the whole memory/emotional regulation issue he has going on, but he is gonna do his damnedest to counteract these things as best he can.

His go-to method of remembering is just writing over and over that you're pregnant on whatever surface is in front of him until it becomes muscle(?) memory. That's how his pals found out -- Ink had scrawled it over his arm and forgot about it when he showed up for a meeting.

He likes to doodle what he thinks the baby is gonna look like. There's a whole sketchbook floating around somewhere with all manner of baby skeletons, humans, and hybrids.

He's already devoted himself to teaching his kid how to draw as soon as they can hold a crayon.

Ink constantly flips on whether or not he's like "oh no what if the kid's like me???" and "omg what if the kid's just like me? :D" depending on his current palette of paints.

On one hand, there is that devastatingly sober realization of oh, what if he condemns his kid to the same conditions he has, but on the other, it makes him feel like melting into a puddle of adoration-filled pastel pink at the thought of having someone call him papa.

Even with Ink's eccentricities, the baby is going to be born into a very loving environment, with very loving grandparents who are going to fit every stereotype of overbearing but well-meaning in-laws for their grandbaby.

He does become a little bit of a hoverer when you start to show, since the visual reminder is a lot more powerful than any verbal reminder or note. There are times when he'll panic suddenly because he'll space out on whether you've eaten at all or if you're feeling any pain and if he needs to be massaging you or stealing some of Error's chocolate stash for you right now.

The second you push that baby out, Ink's gonna be cradling it in his arms and asking when the two of you can have another.

Fresh

"aw, dat sucks, bae. get well soon." ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Fresh doesn't understand. You don't understand. I don't understand. Nobody understands, but here you are.

Okay, so, you sit him down and explain everything. It's a long, painful process, like trying to teach a fourth grader rocket science, but you get through it. Yeah, he has no [FUNK]ing idea what he's doing, but sure, he can play the part of pops if it puts you at ease. How hard could it be?

Though there is a little bit of an uncomfortable bout of processing from Fresh's end for a few days. A small being, inhabiting you and stealing from your nutrient intake in order to live and grow? Where has he heard that one before...

But, the worst he gets is just a little jealous, and maybe a little... worried? About you? No, can't be. He's gonna bottle up that emotion and throw it with the rest of them, never to be thought about again.

He gets so [DANG] pouty when you tell him no more surprise rides on his skateboard or heelies (a habit he's picked up, he likes to grab you when you least expect it and roll around).

Fresh wants a very big say in the aesthetic of the nursery and baby clothes. If it doesn't have colors and patterns that could blind an innocent passerby, he doesn't want it.

He's gonna use that baby as leverage against you in every split decision the two of you have ("hear that, bae? lil' dude's agreein' wit' me down there").

He's going to be very naturally curious about your baby bump when it starts to show. Poking at it and feeling it up, you swear you never have a moment to yourself and you can't do anything with a hand on you. And when it starts kicking? You're not escaping his hold as he praises his kid for being a little fighter.

Fresh is also very obsessed with the prospect of his kid liking all the same things he does. He has a list of shows and a pile of comic books to show the kid. It's not even born yet, and he's already planning on turning them into a mini version of himself. Stars help you.

Epic

Epic is actually over the fucking moon. He's been waiting his whole life to pass on his sage advice and his skills to someone, especially an heir.

Actually, he wants to pass on knowledge that he doesn't even have yet. When you catch him trying to learn how to lockpick or whittle, he says it's because he wants his kid to have unique skills and hobbies (which will, also in his words, make his kid way cooler than anyone else's).

Epic reads three articles on pregnancy and thinks he's a damn doctor, telling you what to eat and how to sleep and what's good and not good for the baby.

He's going to want to do one of those stupid embarrassing pregnancy announcement photoshoots. Not even to announce that you're pregnant (he tells everyone he knows by pointing at your stomach and announcing that he "did that"), but just because he thinks they're funny.

Epic is just so extra at everything he does, and he's about to get a whole lot worse. If he sees you trying to get up for something, he's already on his feet and kneeling before you, asking about what it is that his monarch desires with an over-the-top dutiful flourish.

He's a little terrified of your mood swings, but in a playful way. When you're feeling pissed off for no particular reason and snapping at him, he'll start talking to the baby like "helllllp your parent is being mean to meeeee :("

He talks to the baby a lot, actually. Asking them what they want to eat, how their day is going, when they're thinking of coming out to meet him, etc.. Yeah, he is extremely excited to have this kid.

You have to remind him that he's going to be their father, not just their friend. His response is to tell you with full confidence that he'll be both. Yeah, he's definitely gonna be the lax, chill parent while you'll have to be the stricter one when the kid gets older.

Don't, under any circumstances, let Epic convince you of any of the names he's listed for the kid. He'll give you a compelling argument on each, but upon looking them up, you will find that they are the names of characters from anime he likes ("but if we name the kid after a badass, they'll grow up to be a badass!").

Your weight gain does not deter this man at all in matters of being horny for you. You'll be damn near ready to pop and he'll still ask if you're down for some fun. Careful, you might be gearing up for a second kid very soon after having your first.

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