Yuu asked it so casually, mid-chew, like she was just wondering aloud if it might rain later:
“Have mers been considered a delicacy in past years?”
Ace stared at her like she’d just admitted to eating baby seals. “Yuu. Yuu. You can’t just—say things like that. In this school. With context or without.”
The whole table went silent. Even Epel stopped tearing open his pudding cup.
“Why?” she blinked, genuinely confused. “It’s a historical question. I didn’t say I wanted to eat them—”
“That’s not better!!” Deuce hissed, visibly sweating. “You realize who’s in this school, right?!”
“They could be!!” Ace snapped, gesturing wildly. “You know damn well Floyd has freaky hearing and no concept of boundaries. He’d burst through the window like the Kool-Aid Man if he heard that.”
Yuu shrugged. “It’s just a question.”
“A cannibal-adjacent question,” Jack muttered under his breath.
“Okay, to be fair…” Epel leaned in, voice lowered. “There’s probably a reason they’re not on land menus. I mean, if tuna’s expensive, imagine a mer steak.”
Deuce made a strangled sound.
“You’re not helping,” Jack said firmly, shooting Epel a glare.
“But he’s not wrong,” Yuu pointed out. “There’s probably folklore somewhere about someone roasting a mermaid.”
“STOP TALKING LIKE THAT,” Deuce whisper-yelled. “That’s Azul’s family. That’s Floyd’s family. They’ll gut you like a trout and serve you at the Lounge!”
“I don’t think Azul eats humans,” Yuu said thoughtfully. “He seems more like a ‘steals your soul and finances’ kind of guy.”
Sebek, who’d been unusually quiet, suddenly slammed his tray down with a look of righteous fury. “HUMANS ARE TRULY DISGUSTING CREATURES. You speak so casually of devouring intelligent beings! You people are unhinged!”
“Pretty sure mers used to eat sailors, too,” Yuu added blandly. “So technically we’re even.”
“Oh my gods,” Ace muttered. “You're gonna get us all turned into sashimi.”
“If Floyd shows up and starts asking who wants to ‘play fish market,’ I’m out,” Deuce warned.
“...I wonder what sauce would go best,” Epel mumbled, clearly thinking too hard.
Jack looked betrayed. “Don’t help her.”
“You guys are acting like I’m plotting a sea-creature buffet,” Yuu said, finally cracking a smile. “It’s just speculation.”
Ace pinched the bridge of his nose. “That’s what makes it worse. You always sound normal until we’re halfway through the topic and realize we’re talking about cooking classmates!”
“I haven’t even gotten to the hypothetical war crimes yet,” she said cheerfully.
Sebek made a sound like a kettle about to explode.
ellievsbear
origamiaround
kianamaiart
blakekathryn
vaporwave
discoholicmusic
stormborns
andulkaphoto
titsay
