I truly hate my body, hate every single thing about my body, more than you could even think, this is Dysphoria of the highest order; not gender dysphoria though I do have that also, but no, a dysphoria for my sheer existence, it pains me, hurts to have to exist every single day of my life, I've lost count of the time since this began to be true, possibly after M***** that's for sure but I'd be foolish to blame a woman for all the Hells of my life, most of which she was never aware, and lots of which have plagued me since the start of my third decade in this Babi Yar of a world (thanks billy woods for that simile), no, a woman can't ruin someone to this extent, and I can't honestly blame M***** or any other woman or man for anything, I can only curse the day that I was born which should be regarded as a truly shameful day if only I had half the importance I self-prescribe, but on that note i shan't curse my mother for birthing me either as she didn't know any better
You would not believe the lengths I would go to debase myself, my body, my existence, my worldly presence, I have even begun to draw pleasure from it, like the idea of gratification to me is almost childish, as if I am foolish to even want anything to go my way, no, the real meat comes from denial and repression, of yearning for things I'll never even hope to have, because withdrawal, rejection and the deserving of punishment is where I truly rejoice, and I long to be beaten and scolded and scratched and starved and denied things, because only then I feel like the right thing is truly being done, and everything is in its place, and no ill-gotten rewards shall be given to someone as low as myself, and I long to do and say despicable things if only just to better earn such a treatment as I think I truly deserve, you cannot defeat this logic, people have tried
new Pretty Dolly single coming soon
turnnoffyourmind
prguitarman
ellievsbear
andulkaphoto
theartofmadeline
areudirty
origamiaround
pixelskylines
snowghoul
