The Devil's Jester

"Please don't hold me in such high regard. I am a human, just like everyone else; it's all I'll ever be." { Independent Allen Walker RP Blog } { Multi-ship and Multi-fandom } { Threads: Open } { M!A: Open }

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[ Hiatus Notice ]

As of right now, this blog is on an indefinite hiatus. Explanation beneath the cut.

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saeko--karasu

✄ ; Saeko continued to stroke his hair gently, shaking her head slightly at his words. "You needn’t apologize, Walker." she replied in a soothing, relaxed tone, a kind of voice she had only ever used to soothe Tewaku or Tokusa in rough times. "…All you need to do is stay true to what you’re feeling, I shan’t leave your side." In all honesty, this boy became important to the Third, almost another addition to her family, like a brother to her. 

"Stay true...? I doubt you want that. I doubt anyone wants that. Though in some respects, maybe it would be easier." Feelings as intense as his could be used for great purposes. But they could also rip him apart. In a way, Allen almost preferred the second to the first.

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Quietly, the bluenette pulled the white haired boy into her arms, much like a mother would to their child. He had seemed so... distraught as of late, sorrow filled his very grey hues. Holding him to her chest, slim digits began to gently run over silver locks. Her heart never beat loudly, but hopefully it could be comforting to the poor young man...

He remained silent for the longest time, allowing her fingers to stroke through his hair. For once, he did not return her hold on him, staring down at the floor in silence.

"...I apologize." he spoke at last. "You having to contend with my feelings isn't fair."

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[ Hiatus Notice ]

As of right now, this blog is on an indefinite hiatus. Explanation beneath the cut.

As some of you may or may not know; I am currently homeless. I am living with my mother's boyfriend, as is she, so it's three people in a tiny one bedroom apartment. My whole life is falling apart around my ears and I'm not...handling it well.

The most I can muster for Allen is his sadness and self loathing, and no one really wants to deal with that. God knows I wouldn't.

So I'm going to take a break. Officially this time. I'll pop on now and again to reply to neaxwalker but that's about it. I'm sorry everyone.

[neaxwalker-blog]

♔ ; "So you would rather remaining a mad puppet? Someone who clearly doesn’t even fucking think for himself? Your use… it’s quite clear, really."

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"You say that, but working for you, wouldn't that just make me a madder puppet? I'd think you would be worse. You trick others into believing themselves to be moving of their own volition, in reality though, you control everything."

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[neaxwalker-blog]

♔ ; ”To join me in this battle or continue posing as my enemy. You’ve changed, Allen, in some ways that I don’t like.”

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"You ask me this again and again, but you know my answer, don't you? I don't like your ways, Neah. Why should I join you? Besides-- What use would I be?"

[roadkamelotofdreams]

"No I love you."

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"You're being ridiculous."

[neaxwalker-blog]

♔ ; ”Is that so….”Without hesitation, Neah let his hand fall back to his side. Staring at the former friend of his… in this form he seemed to have, was rather strange, to say the least. A frown flickered upon his lips. "Have you decided?"

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"Decided what?" He said it with an air of innocence, as if he hadn't any idea what the Noah was talking about. No idea at all.

[roadkamelotofdreams]

"No because I love you."

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"--! Well, now you're just being silly, Road."

[neaxwalker-blog]

♔ ; ”Ho… You’ve become rather fiesty, haven’t you, Allen..?”Neah purred, a hand reaching out towards his former friend, finger tips grazing the snow white hair gently. 

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"Feisty? I was under the impression you'd prefer I agree with you." He did not pull away, just stared.

[roadkamelotofdreams]

"I do."

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"Oh? How kind of you Road-- But wouldn't it be better to forget me?"

[neaxwalker-blog]

♔ ; ”Why would anyone notice, A-l-l-e-n~?♪”

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"Like I said, they wouldn't, N--e--a--h."

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"I wonder-- Does anyone notice when I'm gone? I'm sure I'm easily ignored."

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{ ♤♧♡♢ }: Please like this post if I owe you a reply. I have replies for exorcistkandayu and crystallized-lotus-flower sitting in my drafts but if I owe anyone else please say so.

[alpha-android-blog]

A small 8 second mmv bc why not?

Hot damn, how many months has it been since I’ve sat my ass down on SV and edited? Too long. Several months or a bit over that, I say? Either way, this felt damn good to do again, and I really feel connected back with jam. Editing was my way of coping and dealing with matters, and I guess I’m at it again!

[renxhakuryuu]

YELLS LUKE THIS IS SO COOL IT’S //SO COOL//

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{ discipulo-de-prazer } has crossed your path.

[discipulo-de-prazer]

      Tyki had found himself letting out a somewhat discontent sigh. It wasn’t a very appealing mental image; food that couldn’t keep itself down. Personally, Tyki wasn’t hungry what so ever, but he had asked the boy if he was, since seeing someone who was able to fight against him (on par, mind you), in such a lanky state was almost despicable. Tyki seemed to be better off than Allen at the moment, and something about that caused the gentleman to cringe internally, for reasons unknown.             ❝Well,❞ Tyki began, shifting his weight in his sitting position slightly, ❝you could instead have something hot to drink, right? At least you’re not eating, per se, but it’s still something to nourish your body.❞ He’d try, at least, to get Allen back to health. Part of him wondered why he even cared to, but he decided to place it down as this reason:                Allen Walker, was the only Exorcist thus far who was not only able to cut him in battle, but was also the only one to cause him to give in to his Noah and lose his mind during the Ark. Allen was the only Exorcist who continued to surprise the Noah, time and time again, and he was also the only one to beat him at poker. Let alone by cheating. Why could he allow such a wonderful person to vanish?

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"That...would be appreciated." Allen replied, offering the Noah a tired smile. His pride had deserted him at some point, or at least enough of it had that accepting handouts from a Noah was more appealing than freezing. 

He paused however, silvery gaze still resting on his companion. Silence reigned for several moments before he spoke again.

"...You know I'm going to have to ask Tyki," he said softly. "...Why are you helping me? Why did you help me get away from the Order? Why are you offering me aid now?"

Why do you care? Why do I matter? Why, out of everyone, is it a Noah that is showing me kindness? What have I ever done to deserve it from anyone, let alone you?