I haven't used this account in like 3 years and I thought I'd end up deactivating it honestly, I just know if I was to post this anywhere else everyone would tut and roll their eyes so I thought of what the last option would be haha. I really want to start making end of life plans but I'm not sure how to go about it. I'm overwhelmed at the thought of what I'd need to do. I was thinking of writing letters to people like my Mom. I just do not want to do the game of life anymore, at all. I think the world is agonisingly cruel. It's so cruel and it doesn't appeal to me. I think if the world was less cruel I would want to stay here, but it gets crueller and crueller every single day. I'm tired of the awful news and I'm tired of having a very unwell mind. I am really scared of what is on the other side but It cannot be worse then this. I try to tell myself that it might be like the first few years of my life (nothing)
(do not want sympathy, I just wanted to air my feelings somewhere before I decide what to do)
