Clueless

She finds love in a strange of places. She wanders for wonders to ponder. She goes here and there; always searching for something and just to realize she is lost. And she wishes to be found.

[cluelessparamour]

Nowadays, I have realised that reason itself is primarily aimed to social victory and political persuasion rather than philosophical or scientific truth. #sadreality #ThisExplainsEverything #JohnBrockman #nerdgasm #vsco #vscocam

[cluelessparamour]

No one wants you to be yourself. They want you to be the version of yourself that they like. #vsco #vscocam #photographyislifee #outdooradventures

[cluelessparamour]

Ang eraser daw murag trust. Magkanipis kung magkadaghan imong sayop. #hugotpamore #hugotbelike #erasemistakes

[cluelessparamour]

If I Had A Boyfriend

If I had a boyfriend, I wouldn’t let him call me babe, honeybunch or the like. I would let him call me of his favorite movie or his worst restaurant to remind him that I can be my best and my worst but will still be there for him. I will see his best and his worst but nevertheless, I will love them all. I will let him realize that he is not made up of the words that hurt him and that he is made of nothing but pure beauty and glitter. Lots and lots of glitter. Everytime he falls down I will be there to lend a hand and help him get back on track. I will give him 3 am calls whenever he has had nightmares. I will offer my umbrella and rain boots so when the rain washes everything away, we are all that will be left. I will offer him my seat. I will give him love letters in morse code. I will sacrifice my life if a terrorist ambushes him during call of duty. I will be his support while he carries the game. When he’s at the ledge of a building, I will let him hold my shabby hands to let him remember that I will prevent him from falling and if so he falls, I will fall with him. I will be there through thick and thin crust pizza. I will laugh with him. I will cry with him. I will be the girl who says “I love you” and mean it. And when people compliment how awesome he is, he will say “you should meet my girlfriend”.

[cluelessparamour]

How I Wonder

I wonder how the universe started. I wonder how a rabbit comes out of a magician's hat. I wonder if the egg came first or the chicken. I wonder if aliens do exist. I wonder how it's like to be skinned alive. I wonder if vampires are real. I care for so many countless questions that have no solutions and if there is so, wouldn't affect me in any way.

[cluelessparamour]

The Pain In Anesthetics

She looks at herself in the mirror; oblivious to what is about to happen. She is surrounded by the beleaguering torment of existence weighed against the burden of living and still, she smiles. She took a dose of anesthetics to dull the pain. Finding hope in a strange of places, she looks at herself again; enjoying the company of equations, fictional men and fairytales.

She looks at the mirror. She twinges to the reality that besieges her. All the imperfections and mistakes come twirling like a carousel. She hates herself for that and takes another dose. The numbness sets in and the pain is once again gone. She can now manage to smile.

Backstabs and underestimations are all her earbuds can catch up. She lays in her bed at night thinking of everything she can’t have. Then she takes another dose and slept.  The numbness sets in but the agony still comes crawling at her door. That’s the pain in anesthetics. It is the burden of not having the numbness to be permanent.