chloe @cmosyakov - Tumblr Blog

letsbelonelytogetherr

— Daphne du Maurier

tattoome

daily-spooky

metamorphesque

— Heaven, Mieko Kawakami

[text ID: I knew that it was cruel to be so optimistic, but, in my solitude, I couldn't resist the urge and spent entire days basking in idiotic fantasies, sometimes verging on prayer.]

chillpotato

- Mahmoud Darwish from 'Memory for Forgetfulness: August, Beirut c. 1982 (tr. Ibrahim Muhawi)

animations-daily

SPIRIT: STALLION OF THE CIMARRON 2002 | dir. Kelly Asbury, Lorna Cook

lll-ll-ll-lll

sucboy-deactivated20200423

Yes I have a nightly routine it’s called being Insane in my room till I pass out

millthompson

thewinterjudges

sometimes i feel free of this clenching pain that you left me behind. sometimes i don’t even miss you. but God, when i do, it breaks me in half.

depressed-and-disappointed

Everybody always tells you how lucky you are when you survive a suicide attempt. They stand by your hospital bed and smile at you. People you haven’t talked to in years will sit there and tell you that they’re glad you’re alive.

And then two weeks later everybody forgets that you tried to kill yourself. It goes back to the same-old same-old bullshit. And you realize that nothing has changed.

You’re just as alone now as you were then. With the same problems. The same triggers. The same trauma. So how the fuck are they gonna sit there and try to tell you how lucky you are?

Being alive doesn’t mean you’re actually LIVING. Mental and emotional death feel exactly like brain death. Your heart still beats, but without a purpose.

Nobody saved you.

They just prolonged the inevitable.

Because human beings are shitty and nobody actually wants to help. They just don’t want to feel guilty about your death. They want to be able to say that they were “there for you.”

Because at least then they can sleep at night.

Surviving a suicide attempt only makes you lucky if your life actually CHANGES after the fact. Otherwise... what was the point?