“‘I exist.’ In thousands of agonies - I exist. I’m tormented on the rack - but I exist! Though I sit alone in a pillar - I exist! I see the sun, and if I don’t see the sun, I know it’s there. And there’s a whole life in that, in knowing that the sun is there.”
{ Links }
- Archive of our own
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- Spotify: playlists about some characters, soundtracks to my work and other stuff :)
- YouTube: very rarely uploading edits
{ Stories }
You’ll only know Peace [Band of Brothers, Ronald Speirs x OC]
I thought I’d share these oil paintings with you that I did🫶🏼 I plan on making a whole series out of it when I get the time for painting again. Let me know if you have any ideas for future paintings! Would love to draw them!
Elaine sat quietly on the train to Camp Toccoa, the rhythmic clatter of the wheels beneath her mixing with the distant hum of conversations from other passengers. Her long and light brown hair was tied neatly into a low bun. Usually, her soft curls fell gently down her shoulders, and she knew she would miss the feeling of the blowing wind in it. She absently stroked the tight braid at the nape of her neck, her eyes fixed on the endless patchwork of fields that blurred past the window. In her hands she held a letter from home. With a deep sigh, her brown eyes slowly wandered down to it.
Our dearest Lainey, she mouthed quietly as she read the first words. It was a letter from her parents. Only her brother used to call her that name, and she hated when they used it. That name made her feel vulnerable; soft. And from now on, she would have to make sure to not let those feelings get a hold of her. From now on, she had to remain strong, and that's the one thing she always knew how to do. She got back to the letter her dad sneaked into the pocket of her jacket before she got on the train.
"We couldn't be prouder that you've chosen this path. Your courage to accept the army's call fills us with pride, even if it's tinged with the fear that any parent would feel. I know your mom is proud too, you just have to get her a bit of time. She is just worried, dear. She wouldn't survive losing you too."
Elaine sighed softly and kept on reading.
"Every time she prays, she is asking that you're gonna be protected. I know your decision was not a lighthearted one, and I am once again more than impressed about what a strong soul you have become. Always keep your head held high and remember all the things I taught you, my dear. You've always been the strongest.
Breathe in, count, continue.
We love you the most,
Mom, Dad and Ruby.
P.S: Ruby says that when she grows up, she wants to join the army too. Let's hope your courage won't make both my daughters wear weapons."
Elaine chuckled slightly as she read the last sentence. Her thoughts wandered back home to Wilmington, Delaware. Her sister Ruby always looked up to her. I hope that too, dad, she whispered while folding the letter and putting it back into her pocket.
As thoughts of home crept in, a wave of grief welled up within her, a familiar ache that reminded her of all she was leaving behind. She shook her head and quickly recalled what was laying in front of her. Damn program, she thought.
As the army became more involved in the war, they began recruiting women for jobs like nurses, mechanics, pigeoneers... basically everything where they wouldn't have to fight. The pay was good, and her family needed it - she grew up in a household deeply affected by the great depression. They never had much money, and as much as her parents were trying to give her the love she deserved, they couldn't. Elaine's childhood had been marked by a profound loss, one that shaped every decision she made. She had a twin brother, Johnny, who was her closest companion in their early years. They were inseparable, two halves of the same soul, until illness struck them both when they were just fourteen. Their parents, already struggling to make ends meet, couldn't afford the best treatment. Johnny, always the quieter and frailer of the two, succumbed to the sickness. He was too weak to make it; she wasn't. The memory still haunted her, a silent reminder of the fragility of life and the reason she had to learn how to be strong – to survive when others couldn't.
In the years that followed, Elaine carried the weight of her parents' grief in silence. Every glance they cast her way seemed to carry a mix of sorrow and longing, as if they were searching for the son they had lost in the daughter that remained. Her father, a stern man shaped by his own experiences serving in the First World War, became even more rigid. It was as though he was preparing her for a battle; one that neither of them knew was coming. He pushed her to be strong, to be resilient—to survive at all costs. And so she did, because she had to. But the scars of those years lingered, hidden beneath the surface, driving her to find a purpose that would make sense of all the pain.
At sixteen, driven by a need to escape the shadows of her past and a desire to make her parents proud, she joined the Army nurse program. It was her way of finding purpose in a world that had so often felt purposeless.
Only a few months after joining the program, she received a letter from the army. She would be transferred to the 506th PIR. She would be joining the Airborne.
———
"The Airborne?", one of her friends in the program asked. "Why would they send you there?". "What even is the Airborne?", another nurse asked. Elaine stared at the neatly folded letter in her trembling hands, feeling the weight of the words pressing down on her. "I don't know", she whispered as she continued scanning over it. "It says, and I quote, due to the lack of medical forces, the u.s. army had to resort to spare units, just like the nurse program, to fill out any missing recruitments. We are honored to announce that you have been chosen to integrate into this new path of making your country proud." Elaine swallowed and looked up to the other nurses again. Audrey, who grew to be her best friend, walked over to them and waved with something in her hand. "I got one too", she said casually as she approached. Elaine watched her in disbelief and concern, but Audrey just shrugged her shoulders.
"It's an experiment", Audrey scoffed. "They're training them as paratroopers. I read about it; the training is said to be harder than any other one in the army. They want to build the most elite unit... they want them to be the best... basically", she began to explain.
Elaine still looked at her in disbelief. "They must've mistaken us", she said quietly. Another nurse stood up. "Most elite? The best? And they can't even find themselves some medics?", she mocked. The room filled with quiet chuckles. Audrey, sensing Elaine's turmoil, walked up to her and gently placed a hand on her shoulder. "Lacy", she spoke quietly - most of her friends addressed her by her second name. "What are you gonna do?" Elaine looked up to her friend. "I don't know."
———
Now, just weeks after receiving that letter, she found herself on a train bound for a future she hadn't imagined. Was she ready to step into a world so far away from the one she had known? A world where the stakes were life and death, not just for her patients, but for herself as well? Determined to prove herself, Elaine braced for the grueling training ahead. She wanted – she needed – to succeed, yet beneath her resolve, a gnawing fear took root, whispering of the unknown challenges she was about to face.
A woman in the army?, she thought, and her breath hitched. After all, she was still only a seventeen-year-old girl. The sound of people rushing through the train tore her from her thoughts. Lost in her reverie, she almost didn't notice the landscape shifting outside the window. But as the train began to slow, the sight of Toccoa's small station pulled her back to reality – it was time.
you are NOT my “passenger princess” get off your phone we are Under attack!!!!!!!! you are my gunner; man the weapons and defend our vehicle with your life!!!
Without (Doc Roe), we wouldn't be alive. Roe was the best medic we ever had. He was born to be a medic. You could always depend on him. You hollered, "Medic!" and he was right there, come hell or high water. He knew what he was doing. He was compassionate, took care of you mentally, physically, every way.
- Bill Guarnere in Brothers in Battle, Best of Friends
Band of Brothers Headcanons: What music they’d be listening to
(+ Playlists and absolutely historically inaccurate)
A/N: Hey! So here’s my first BoB headcanon - I hope you enjoy it! I’m sorry if this is rather short. Let me know if you’d like to see other characters in those or have any requests :) I also spent way too much time making several playlists for them, I’ll link them for you at the end if you wanna listen to them!
{Dick Winters}
• Classical. Music.
• Can list you every thing that Bach or Vivaldi ever published, but with the backstories
• I just picture him closing his eyes and sighing very loudly whenever he listens to something he loves
• Will dance to old Jazz music until the sun comes up, and says the day after that it was a really wild night
• Also listens A LOT to Lana (would never admit it)
• Secretly gossips and argues over her online. Tries to keep it a secret but his username is “DickDelRey101”
{Lewis Nixon}
• Classic Rock all the way
• I’m talking Bob Dylan, Rolling Stones, ACDC…
• “Paranoid - Black Sabbath” was his wedding song
• When he gets home he falls into the old chair next to the record player with a bottle of whiskey already waiting
• He’s always like “I need this music to calm down, don’t you understand???” and absolutely means it
• Drives the car only to listen to “Enter Sandman” and wear sunglasses while he does (windows all the way down, volume max)
• 100% certified Dad music
{Ronald Speirs}
• This mans music is all over the place
• Just like my feelings for him lol
• But mostly listens to a lot of old music???
• Like 40s to 60s, also a big fan of Elvis and Johnny Cash
• Literally has pictures of them hanging in the doorway
• Always says he doesn’t care about things like music, but will make a playlist for every one he meets with songs that remind him of them
• I swear to everything music would be one of his love languages - he’d absolutely remember every song you ever liked
• Turns the radio louder randomly to songs with the explanation “saw you smiling to that with your morning coffee last week”
{Donald Malarkey}
• Listens to a whole lot of sad songs - and I’m talking about gut wrenching, laying on the bathroom floor kind of sad
• Also somehow into Grunge??
• At least three Radiohead songs in every one of his playlists
• The Smiths is his happy music
• When his favorite Pink Floyd Record is on he listens to it all day. He runs to push the play button again every time it stops.
{Joe Toye}
• 100% an alternative Rock / Nu Metal kind of guy
• Would have Deftones playing all day
• Also listens to Bloodhound Gang a lot lol (The song “Jackass” is his anthem!!!)
• Just imagine him sitting in the garage with Guarnere, drinking beer while an old Limp Bizkit vinyl is on
• He thinks it’s the greatest thing of all time that bands began to combine Rap with Hardcore
• In terms of that - definitely a fan of Deez Nuts, Hollywood Undead or Linkin Park
• “Band of Brothers - Deez Nuts” is literally his favorite song
{George Luz}
• Unironically listens to the Soundtrack of Oklahoma
• It just puts a smile on his face every time he hears it - takes him back to the news of the musical still on broadway back in war
• Also loves & defends Tom Lehrer to death
• He knows every song from him by heart and always sings the loudest
• Will randomly sing his favorite songs throughout the day, which makes everyone shake their head but deep down they all love it
• He’s almost afraid of sad music
• He aspires to be Ricky Nelson in another life
{Eugene Roe}
• Similar to Malarkey, but doesn’t cry to those songs
• Just sits in silence with a cigarette between his fingers, staring into the nothingness while thinking about his time with Easy
• “Feels like a movie” - songs were made for him
• When he listens to Elton John or Billy Joel you know he’s in a happy mood
• Is also the anonymous person Winter argues with online about Lana
• DickDelRay101 replied: Are you clinically insane? How could you deny it’s her best album? Did you even listen to it?
• Absolutely knows that it’s Winters and accidentally called him Sir when he replied (several times)
{Joe Liebgott}
• Hear. Me. Out. He’s a pop punk & grunge boy all the way
• Has a big collection of thrifted vinyls (if you can’t find him, search at the next thrift market)
• Puts on Nirvana or the Offspring and just lays on his bed while smoking a whole pack of cigarettes
• Room full of ripped band posters and at least one guitar (but can’t play, although he says he can)
• 10/10 would’ve lived in a skatepark in another life
• Also really into Old school HipHop, loves the Beastie Boys
• Accidentally went to a New Kids on the Block concert once. Said he hated it but stayed until the very last minute.
{David Webster}
• Would also listen to classical music
• But it would just be for people to think he’s very intellectual, actually can’t stand it
• In reality really into slow and soft love songs
• Listens to Vera Lynn on a daily basis and happily admits that he cries to her songs. Always speaks of “Our Vera.”
• When he listens to “There’ll always be an England” he suddenly gets an English accent.
• The Fleetwoods is his favorite band
• Tries to listen to Pop Punk because he knows Joe loves it, but he absolutely hates it
• “There’s no emotion Joe!!”
• “For fucks sake, Web, there’s all the goddamn emotion!!?!!”
{Bull Randleman}
• Hard Rock, can’t say more
• Also 100% certified Dad music. He’s the one who visits Nixon once a week to play poker and smoke cigars while listening to his records
• Is the guy at a concert who will accidentally throw you to the ground while in a mosh pit
• But will absolutely make everyone stop so he can pick you up again
———
Link to the Ronald Speirs playlist:
Link to my profile - the other playlists are on there (still updating them regularly):
A/N: Here’s the next part of my story, I hope you enjoy it! Next parts will follow soon on here and on my Wattpad.
—> Part 1
Epigraph
"Miss, you never really leave the war. It continues to wage in your soul. You walk off the fields and grounds on which you fulfilled your duty, but the war isn't held on those; the horrors of war are waging in the people who fought it, and it pursues on, in each of us, to eternity."
———
Prologue
Elaine was laying on her back in a bed she knew she would miss. She was still dressed in her uniform, the duvet on the double bed was untouched and destined to stay ever so neatly folded that night. Her last one in Aldbourne; the small town had grown on her, its rough streets and quaint cottages a heavy contrast to the chaos that awaited her. The town began to feel like home after all the months Easy Company stayed there. The gentle rustling of the trees outside the window, usually so comforting, now felt like a reminder of what she was about to lose.
Desperately longing for a few hours of sleep, she sighed loudly at the fact that her eyes refused to close. Her mind was a battleground of 'what ifs'. What if this was the last night in a real bed she would ever have?
"Hey, did you even listen to me?", a familiar voice tore her from her thoughts. Her eyes slowly wandered from the ceiling through the small room until they landed on her fellow medic, Eugene Roe. He stood beside a wooden bench that was placed in front of the window, on which he carefully positioned the contents of their medical bags; a bit too neat, almost compulsive, in Elaines opinion. She glanced over the arranged bandages and syringes while sitting up and resting her head against the headboard.
"Sorry, what did you say?", she asked quietly, her eyes still laying on the bench. She shook her head slightly. "Also, what are you even doing, Gene? You should be getting every minute of sleep you can."
"Yeah, just like you", he scoffed. "I'm going through all our stuff, obviously. I just counted all of this, and you weren't even listening? Great, now I can start all over again."
Elaine felt the uncomfortable tension which was settling in the room. Eugene took a quiet breath, not looking up. "Can't sleep either it seems?" His voice was softer now, the banter fading into concern.
She pushed herself over to the other side of the bed and sat down facing her friend, ignoring his question. "Hey Gene, we've sorted this stuff about a hundred times already, and counted it at least a thousand times. We're jumping tomorrow...", she began to speak with a soft and slightly annoyed tone. As she mentioned the jump, her own voice got stuck in her throat. The discomfort began to also settle down into her chest.
"Alright, another time won't hurt, huh?", she sighed as she stood up and quickly got her hands busy. Eugene just chuckled at the change of demeanor.
———
As the two medics spent their last night in Aldbourne rearranging their medical bags and checking them over and over again, they barely exchanged any words. Elaine couldn't shake the feeling that this might be the last quiet moment they'd share. She dismissed the thought quickly, forcing herself to focus on the task at hand. Both their minds were full of heavy thoughts. Whilst Eugene tried to stay professional, thinking through their whole training again and again, Elaines thoughts were going different places. She thought about how the two medics used to stay up all night counting the medical stuff in the stockroom. And despite the overwhelming tension, it was just the same that night. The familiar procedure began to calm her, as her mind wandered to all the past things she experienced since she joined the Men of Easy Company.
Tomorrow, everything would change. But tonight, they were just medics counting supplies, like they did in Toccoa.
For a moment, she let herself believe it was enough.
Silent battles that go unnoticed; so loud, her ears never stopped ringing.
A/N: I’m back - after my moving took longer than expected! And I’m so happy to finally introduce you to my new story! This post is for the purpose of getting to know the story, but the first chapters will follow soon. I really hope you’ll enjoy this!
You’ll also find it on my Wattpad soon, I’ll link it down below for you. There you’ll have a few more things to the story such as the soundtrack and stuff like that :)
My Wattpad
Important note: This story is in no way meant to be disrespectful to the real people and circumstances that accured. This story is based on the actors/characters portrayed in the HBO Show Band of Brothers. All ideas in this story are mine, similarities to other fictions are unintentional.
This story is based on the actors / the historical events, however there will probably be some inaccuracies due to everything that is written is my own imagination. It can happen that some events / situations / characters are not aligned with the real historical context.
Feel free to let me know if you discover any mistakes, I'm open for and happy about any feedback or suggestions!
• The story will start at Toccoa and goes on to the end of war (and probably also after war)
• Ronald Speirs x OC
Description:
In the midst of World War II, Elaine defies expectations by joining the Airborne, stepping into a world dominated by men. As a young medic, her journey takes her from the quiet fields of Delaware to the heat of war. As she navigates the brutal challenges of training and the realities of battle, she forges an unexpected bond with a fellow soldier. Together, they must not only survive the war but also confront their own inner battles, discovering strength in each other that they never knew they had.
Character:
Elaine Lacy Lynch was born in October 1924 in Wilmington, Delaware. She is a determined and resilient young woman who joins the Airborne at only seventeen, serving as a medic, driven by a deep sense of duty and a need to find purpose in the chaos of World War II. Haunted by her past, she possesses a strength beyond her years, yet struggles with the vulnerability that comes from caring too deeply. As she navigates the brutal realities of war, Elaine must balance her compassionate nature with the harsh demands of survival, all while grappling with her growing feelings for a fellow soldier.
EASY COMPANY
EP 3 Carentan, EP 7 Breaking Point, EP 8 The Last Patrol, EP 10 Points | Band of Brothers
I photo manipulated and digitally painted over episode screencaps to amp up the chiaroscuro. All that to say, these are not illustrations, these are post-edited images. Happy anniversary, Band of Brothers. <3
