So here’s the case: In 2020, I graduated from high school, and like every girl, I had a crush on someone during that time. I never had any special connection with him until 2020, when he reached out to me through WhatsApp, saying he needed someone to talk to because he had just broken up with his girlfriend. As someone who casually had a crush on him, I started listening to him through late-night calls for months, maybe even years. We called each other every night, texted frequently, and even went out twice. Since I had known him since high school, I felt very comfortable around him, even though it was actually my first-ever date with a boy.
At the same time, there was another boy who lived in my neighborhood. The thing is, he never went to the same school as me, and even though we grew up in the same area, we never really had anything in common. I just knew him as someone’s son who lived nearby. Unexpectedly, he started DMing me on Instagram in 2020, and we began casually texting. I realized it was a bit foolish of me to juggle conversations with two different guys while trying to maintain some level of interest and flirtation with both. As time went on, I found myself developing feelings for one of them over the other.
Eventually, both boys started asking me out, and, in a rather impulsive decision, I chose my crush over my neighbor. I was really enjoying our dynamic, which felt like a ‘not friends but also not in a relationship’ situation. Then, unexpectedly, the neighborhood boy confessed his feelings for me. Despite this, my connection with my crush was so strong at that time that I brushed it off. I didn’t feel the need to give the neighborhood boy much attention, even though, to be honest, he was also quite my type—tall, with tan skin, and physically almost similar to my crush.
Fast forward to 2022, and I guess I’ve forgotten some details because it’s been almost four years now. Unfortunately, I also lost my phone in 2024, so all the evidence of our conversations is gone. The main thing to remember is that my crush needed someone to talk to after breaking up with his girlfriend, and I was there for him, coincidentally fueled by my own feelings. We shared advice and stories, and he even encouraged me to go out with the neighborhood boy, which I promised I would consider, but I never actually did.
Eventually, my crush realized he didn’t want a relationship beyond his girlfriend. He reflected on his past mistakes and wanted to rebuild that relationship. It was tough for me to hear him express his intentions to confess to her again, and while I tried to support him, I couldn’t help feeling lost. I recall him asking me out one last time, but I urged him to focus on his girlfriend instead. After that conversation, he gradually faded from my life, leaving me to cope with the aftermath.
So, the story between me and my high school crush ends here, but I found myself confiding in my close friends about the relationship I had been in from 2020 to 2022. Reactions were mixed; some called me foolish for my choices, while others offered supportive advice. Many encouraged me to give the neighborhood boy a chance, suggesting that a rebound relationship might help me move on from my crush.
During the time I was still in touch with my crush, I continued texting the neighborhood boy out of politeness, not real interest. He asked me out to the cinema again, and that’s when the real complications began. After experiencing a genuine connection with my crush, trying to move on felt like a daunting task. You know that feeling when everything just clicks with someone? When it doesn’t happen again, it can leave you questioning what’s wrong with you or why things don’t feel as effortless.
The neighborhood boy kept expressing interest, but the dynamic felt strained. He made plans that he couldn’t follow through on, leaving me confused. When we finally met at a café, he awkwardly bought two drinks but didn’t offer me one, instead drinking both himself. It was a bizarre moment that only deepened my feelings of discomfort and self-doubt. Despite our previous connection, it felt more like a reunion with an old friend rather than a budding romance.
After that day, I continued to receive texts from the neighborhood boy, even into 2024. Initially, I thought maintaining a connection wouldn’t hurt, but the randomness of his messages began to annoy me. He would ask questions like 'Where are you?' or 'Who are you with?'—it felt invasive and lacked substance. We hadn’t built any real depth in our communication, and it started to feel more like I was responding out of obligation than genuine interest.
I started to feel blue because my crush, whom I had tried so hard to connect with, had ended up with someone else. Meanwhile, the neighborhood boy, who had expressed his feelings multiple times over four years, still reached out despite us having gone out only once. While I appreciated his kindness, I didn’t feel the spark. It left me feeling drained and exhausted.
As I grew older, I began to appreciate being single, especially since I’m still healing from past experiences. I’m aware of the danger of jumping into a new relationship just because I fear being alone. I want to avoid one-sided dynamics, especially if it means accepting the neighborhood boy without considering my own feelings.
People often tell me I should be with him because he seems to genuinely care, but what about how I feel? Don’t my feelings matter too? So here I am in 2024, dealing with someone who has consistently texted me for four years and has confessed to me twice. The neighborhood boy even confessed again in May 2024, but without any real foundation—no calls, no voice notes, no shared experiences. I’ve made it clear that while he may have feelings for me, I’m not interested in pursuing a relationship. Instead, I’m comfortable with being friends, hoping that would signal him to stop reaching out.
Yet, despite my efforts to be clear, he keeps texting me weekly, seemingly unable to move on. It feels like he doesn’t know how to manage his own feelings, which makes me question whether our connection is even mutual or if it’s just one-sided. I’ve tried to understand his feelings, reassuring him that it’s okay to feel sad about our situation, but it feels like he’s using that to keep trying to reconnect rather than moving forward. Ultimately, I’ve grown tired of the back-and-forth and have decided to ignore his texts for my own peace.
So that’s my love story, which I feel is a bit off, yet it contributes to my personal growth. I’ll take the moral of the story and focus on my goals. I may be confused about how to handle this situation, but I believe I will eventually be fine along the way.
