GREGORY: My rivalry with Stan…
GREGORY: I… ehem, I must say that my memory falls a little flat on exactly what troubles we’ve run into in the last several months.
GREGORY: The reason being is that we’ve rather actively avoided each other since around December of last year or so.
GREGORY: Though I can say he looks just as thrilled as he always has in the past– during the height of our most vying feuds.
GREGORY: That vexed, vaguely annoyed face is one that sparks many a memory of our childhood rivalry.
GREGORY: I can recall as early as age 11, we would strife about all through 5th grade.
GREGORY: Oh Stanley, is that what you’ve chosen for question number three?
GREGORY: Oh if only I were to, perhaps, accidentally drop my expertly educated take on your desk…
GREGORY: You’d have all the right answers.
GREGORY: So tempting to snag it right from the leather of my glove, is it not?
GREGORY: How unfortunate, you’ll never have the chance.
GREGORY: My superior sleight is much too nimble for your sluggish brain.
GREGORY: I remember the distinct eye twitches he would get whenever I would pull out my most cunning of conflict.
GREGORY: He would not say a thing, I’m sure because he was simply too afraid to fight back at the time.
GREGORY: However, he didn’t always remain so silent and tame…
GREGORY: I would say around middle school… that is when we’d really go at each others throats.
GREGORY: Such a gruesomely exquisite time.
GREGORY: We’d even write our personal hate letters to each other, oh how I admire those days.
GREGORY: I would always look forward to the times where he’d write me back on the very same paper I would send to him.
GREGORY: A rivalry between two people is a much more intimate experience than one would be lead to believe.
GREGORY: You could, perhaps, even put it on par with a committed relationship of sorts.
GREGORY: And ours, I can say, was long term.
GREGORY: Around the age of 16, I began deploying newer, fresher tactics to our commitment.
GREGORY: After an inspiring couple of months of coaching actors for the play of Romeo and Juliet– of which he was one of the leads– I understood just what made him tick a little more.
GREGORY: STANLEY MARSH, ignoring me on his way home from school yet AGAIN…
STAN: Gregory, for the love of god, stop calling me Stanley.
GREGORY: How now, you speak my name?
GREGORY: I may just faint!
GREGORY: Nary a “dude” or “jack*ss” in sight!
STAN: Should I even bother asking how the hell you censored yourself.
GREGORY: What a delight this is, you’ve yet to lead your trek homewards…
GREGORY: Perhaps you’re wishing for… gasp… more of my utterly enthralling acting skills to be passed down to you?
STAN: If you ever get closer than two feet from me again I’m seriously gonna vom, dude.
GREGORY: No longer did I get grunts and eye rolls, no no.
GREGORY: Ever since those fateful months, I’ve gotten full blown… dare I say, reactions from him.
GREGORY: Our last committed interaction, even, gave more than the letters or eye twitches ever could.
GREGORY: I arrived one day to his house– a residence in which I rarely visited.
GREGORY: In fact, I don’t believe I had ever even stepped foot into his upper floor before this particular instance.
GREGORY: I was there, strictly for… competition if I recall.
STAN: How did you get in my house???
GREGORY: Your oh so dearest mother let me inside after pitying the cold, frozen state I was left outside in.
STAN: Uh, how did you get TO my house??????????
STAN: I live like. Miles and miles out of town.
GREGORY: I see you do not share the pity your mother gave me.
STAN: Busy hanging out with my friends dude…
GREGORY: That I can see, and smell.
GREGORY: I recognize the smell of production.
GREGORY: You know, I’m not stranger to such a thing.
GREGORY: I’ve partaken once before.
GREGORY: Perhaps I can show you and your friends how it’s really done.
STAN: I think that’s probably the funniest thing you’ve ever said.
GREGORY: Oh, but no laughter I hear.
GREGORY: Move aside, dearest Stanley.
GREGORY: Watch me wow your friends with my terrifically rebel-like, utterly cannabis-orientated skills.
GREGORY: Ultimately, the experience did not go over well.
GREGORY: Within those last four hours at his house… That was the last time I had spoken to him.
GREGORY: Until now, that is…
GREGORY: How my heart yearns for our rivalry to continue.
GREGORY: Mayhaps it is bittersweet fate that he be my cabin mate…
GREGORY: Perhaps we could fix what has been damaged…
GREGORY: Lest our “what once was” never again turns present-tense.
GREGORY: How cruel the mistress of fate would have to be for us to never be the same.
GREGORY: Truly nobody has experienced greater sorrow than I.
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