Uno Sarcagian Garibaldian

Matt/28/married to @kyuaconfetti❤️

[crisis-actor]

[fluffysheeple]

christian bad driver: my guardian angel watches over me, I don't need to look before I merge

atheist bad driver: I will rely on my own skill to see myself safely home after a mere 8 drinks

agnostic bad driver: no one knows where all these dents and scratches came from

[thetomorrowshow]

christian baby driver: someone hit me with a baseball bat so hard my ears won't stop ringing

[dogpuppy]

[gazehoundz]

[pjharvey]

[adonischildsupportcase]

[triangleguy]

the pinterest number glitch continues to be hilarious

[cogentranting]

Observed today:

Two little girls playing gently with a daddy long legs.

Girl 1: can it die?

Girl 2, in a calm happy even tone: of course. Like all living things it can and must die.

[roaldamundsen]

I hate autoplay what do you mean I've been listening to god in my sleep

[roaldamundsen]

you died and went to heaven

[parkayquarts]

little girl in the checkout line was freaking the FUCK out reaching for a shelf and screaming "GIMMEEEE GIMMEEEEE" at the top of her lungs and the mom kept saying "no 🫩" and I look at the shelf expecting there to be candy or something and it was full of batteries

[shamebats]

[m86-deactivated20171116]

[crazy-brazilian]

[omegaversereloaded]

No

[nicky999doors]

[hardwrench]

nudist macklemore I wear your granddad’s nothing

[yuppiesnpuppies]

How it feels