Truer words have never been spoken

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@coconuts0317
Truer words have never been spoken
Why do single people on apps ask you why YOU are single??? Like I don’t fuckin know it’s wild to me too, bro
Quarantine day 8179: I continue to take my birth control pills which has now only become a daily reminder that I am not having sex.
I kid you not. Today, a guy unmatched me on Hinge because I said I was willing to get sushi To Go.
Don’t know about you, but I’m over here just livin’ COVID-a loca
Quarantine day 16: the most attention I have gotten from a man was today while on my run. Thank you, sir, for honking your horn at me. I’ve never felt more wanted
The directions told me it would make 6-9 pancakes, but I only yielded 3. And I’m drinking milk straight from the bottle. Quarantine rules are wild.
🍀 How I’m spending my 37th birthday 🍀
Social distancing is just my typical Friday night cleverly disguised as public health awareness
The only valentine I will be getting this year is a snap from Team Snapchat
People are over here posting beautiful engagement/wedding/baby pics and I’m like, “look at this amazing avocado toast I just made”
I just started watching this season of the bachelor - I have NEVER watched this show. And these girls... they are emotional train wrecks and he is just totally fine with it! NBD! And he is emotionally AVAILABLE - crying alllll the time. Like what the fuck is this? The upside down?
If there’s one thing dating apps have done for me, it is that they have single-handedly brought my self esteem to an ultimate, new low
Just went out with the “he doesn’t realize he’s gay” guy
Nothing like a good ol’ first date revelation...
Me: so, what brought you to Dallas?
Him: well I had a bad neck injury and got hooked on pills. So I decided to come here for a change. You can write for pills as a PA, yeah?
Nothing worse than a guy who’s got it all and then sucks at kissing
Rolling into the 2020 dating scene like...