[holyisthenameofmyruthlessaxe]

Poem for My Birthday, Lisel Mueller

[ID: Life is what happens to someone else; / I stand on the sidelines and wring my hands.]

[coffee-and-ennui]

Having a connective tissue disorder that can affect literally any part of the body means you’re constantly discovering things that you thought were “normal” or that you didn’t even realise were symptoms. It turns out I’ve been subluxing (partially dislocating) joints my whole life and didn’t even know it. (That isn’t uncommon, by the way. I’ve spoken to and read about so many people who thought the same thing I did: “Subluxations sound really serious, so surely I would know if my joints were coming out of their sockets! I’ve probably just pulled a muscle or slept on it funny.” 🙃)

This probably explains why I always have muscle tension and why my spine is so stiff (people with hypermobile joints often have tight muscles because they’re literally trying to hold the joints in place). And subluxations and muscle tension can compress nerves, which could explain the neuropathic itching and tingling in my back.

It’s also possible that the weird flares I have that precede a depressive episode are mast cell reactions (which isn’t surprising, since HSD/EDS, POTS and MCAS all like to hang out together and I’ve had other unexplained allergy symptoms for years).

Today I also learned that fingers aren’t supposed to do this. 🤔

[masaotheheckindog]

I’m tired of hearing about how successful some disabled people CAN be. I want to live in a world where that doesn’t determine our worthiness of survival.

[fairycosmos]

just found out that if i stay in my room all the time my life will eventually shrink to the size of it and i will lose all memory of how to function as a person. shocked & upset

[valtsv]

*suddenly realizes i'm horrifically lonely and haven't done anything meaningful with my life and don't know what i can do to change that at this point while in the line at the grocery store*

[frogsmulder]

I have tried hard– but life is difficult and I am a useless person.

– Edith Wharton, The House of Mirth.

[coffee-and-ennui]

Happy 14th birthday to a very old man! 💕

[coffee-and-ennui]

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A post shared by Dave Tarnowski (@sadpeaks) on Sep 24, 2020 at 7:34am PDT

[beaswellgirl]

“How living hurt. Living was an open wound.”

— Clarice Lispector, from “The Departure of the Train”, Complete Stories (trans. Katarina Dodson)

[rydenarmani]

my hobbies

switching between the same three apps for hours

not speaking to anyone for days at a time

listening to the same songs i have been listening to for 20 years

imagining myself in situations that will literally never exist

[dankmemesreasonforliving]

[hypochondriac-butters]

reblog this if you are gay, constantly tired, or a cryptic entity that merely inhabits a human form

[horrorcandybox-deactivated20210]

Highgate Cemetery, London.

By HorrorCandyBox.

[weltenwellen]

Rainer Maria Rilke, Rilke’s Book of Hours

[fattypanc4kes]

brains say, "I know a spot" and take you to a traumatic memory from 2011

[wheelspiration]

[coffee-and-ennui]

Tfw you’re reading a horror story and it describes in perfect detail how you feel during a depressive episode.