This ^^^^ is one of the best responses I've seen to questions about grief.
I suffered a staggering loss 19 years ago and my husband said to me then, "I can't know what you're going through exactly but it is obvious that you're devastated. I'm here for you and it's okay to be sad."
Many people panic at the sight of other people grieving and try to make them feel better to "fix" the problem and make it go away so they can be more comfortable. But the only way through grief is to take the time to be sad.
At the worst of it, I didn't want to feel better, I needed that sadness because it was real and the only thing I had left of what was supposed to be a great joy. The people closest to me accepting that and making room for my sadness and not pushing me away let me come out of it much faster than I'd come out of less terrible things before. That wasn't their goal, it just worked out that way.
In the words of my favorite and only sister:
This shit is legitimately hard. Anyone would have a hard time with what you're going through. It doesn't mean you're weak, it means you're human.
My mother told a friend who was deep in grief: Now, so soon after your loss, it's normal and understandable if you are not very functional or coping with it. Your primary purpose right now is to grieve, to let yourself feel your feelings. It's okay to wallow in it. If you're still having a hard time getting out of bed in six months or a year, the conversation might be different. But for now, the only way out is through.
And for me, I can say that without a doubt, letting myself feel my feelings without judgement or rush is the only productive way to move through the process. When I have needed to function short term in the face of grief, it is possible to metaphorically put those feelings in an envelope before I walk in the door of the place I need to function at, but it is still vitally important to take them back out again when I leave.
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