Elephants Don't Drink Coffee.

My blog is a mess, its a metaphor for my life. I like to talk about my boyfriend and I complain a lot. Sorry not sorry.

[thefrontrange]

[babyanimalgifs]

a raccoon chowing down

[coffee-for-elephants]

New Years Resolutions

Try counseling

Speak up more

Say sorry less

[smallrooms]

[coffee-for-elephants]

Im back bitches

[xcyst]

being a pessimist is great, I’m always either right or pleasantly surprised

[profcaband]

That’s a very optimistic way of looking at pessimism

[pan-nino]

Please don’t reblog without permission. 

[archatlas]

[pan-nino]

Journaled on the cruise?

Email came in from Lantz! Security deposit is coming, and going directly into Jordan’s birthday fund. Very horny for that money. Hoping it’ll be in wreckage of the mailbox when we get back to Florence. Tuesday, day at sea. Woke up at 4am. Brushed my teeth and scraped my tongue. Going to go to the Lido deck to listen to my podcast an maybe see the sun rise. Brunch at 10am. I had a dream that I got  tech job at a cell phone assembly place in LA, and that we were coming back from Hawaii and that the offered to hit move one afternoon. they offered the job and I turned it down to finish school . And then random people who worked there came up to me and told me I was making a huge mistake, but then my mentor few came and told me that yes, they’d work with that, and I’d work there for the summer before going back to Winthrop. And like.. I couldn’t find you. But then I fell back to sleep and now it’s 8:30 and I’m gonna go up and sit there before brunch. Applying spf 30 twice and hour and taking  fifteen minute breaks every hour does not seem to be sufficient to stop my milky white skin from burning. Rip rip rip.

Yup. More sunburnt than I’d thought. Just went to grab aloe and stuff from mom’s room, it was a bit of a hike, and in my slightly buzzed state, I almost tried to swipe into someone else’s room while they were watching. Oops? Small nap, then shower, then 8:15 dinner. Not sure how I’m going to survive tomorrow since it’s an off the boat day. Looking forward to having cell service so I can talk to you again.

Ate too much at dinner. Had too many desserts. They brought out tiny birthday cakes after I’d already ordered dessert. Soooo, had to eat both. Also, we did birthday cards for all may and June birthdays. Aunt Cindy included lottery tickets, 5 $1 tickets, Brennan won 0 and I won $1. Lottery tickets are fun.

Decided that a better use of my time would be getting out of bed and going to the piano bar. Ordered a blue moon, almost choked on an orange seed. Going to request Santeria by Sublime. Pianist’s voice is gone, but he’s playing and we’re singing. Oh wait, I don’t know all  the words to it so won’t request it. And now I’m going to bed because snorkeling is very early in the morning and I’ll be getting wine drunk tomorrow night. Is “You’re going to be grandparents in three weeks!” that much worse than “You’re going to be grandparents in 7 months!”?

And it’s tomorrow. Time for small breakfast, then snorkel. Snorkeling was lovely. Reefs were beautiful. Lots of fish swimming around. Only choked on a little bit of water. On the excursion, their is a man with his significant other. The man has a very large tattoo of the word loyalty on his chest. I can’t think of it as anything other than a punishment he got for cheating on his significant other and it’s a reminder or something. Also, I want a Joker movie. Like, the trailer is totally in my head. Military helicopter landing on the roof of a large apartment building. Swat team rappels down the outside and breaches through windows. Pans out and shows room by room being cleared just by flashlights through the windows. Finally, shows the internal of a room, and lead swat boi pulls of helmet, it’s the joker, “All of your left shoes. Now.” cut to title card. My brain is weird.

[coffee-for-elephants]

I love your weird brain

[pan-nino]

Learned something remarkable

Jordan and I recognize flaws in each other before the other has even recognized it in themselves. And we just love each other more for it. One day more.

[coffee-for-elephants]

Patronus Analysis

Hello Potterheads of tumblr! I was wondering if someone could do a Patronus analysis for me! My Patronus is a Little Owl according to Pottermore and I cannot find any realizations of it because it's an “unusual” one. Thanks!

[pan-nino]

I have 6 followers

The five of them that aren’t you should ignore these. These are because I’m a procrastinator and don’t know how to buy stamps. Letters would have been more nice, but you already have no visible carpet in your room. Maybe that should’ve been your assignment?

I’m currently bright red and bathed in aloe. Tucked into my twin sized boat bed. Very lonely at this point. But tomorrow morning is Nassau, maybe? Not sure. It’s a place with cell service, and if I ask my mom for details she’ll explode.

This is the third post in a day, go to bed, there won’t be a 4th. I love you, talk to you in the morning.

[coffee-for-elephants]

Fuck me up you know me so well.

[just-shower-thoughts]

After 42 years on this planet, I finally had the realization that Arby’s is a wordplay on the letters RB (roast beef)

[pan-nino]

I’m on a cruise right now,

which means that I have my phone and it’s fully charged, but I can’t talk to you. I don’t have wifi and I don’t have cell service, but I do have scheduled posting on tumblr, so that’s the best I’m going to have. I won’t be able to tell you how I am at the moment or ask about your day, but it’s been over 9 months of talking to you without stopping, and there is no way in hell that I’m going to stop.

I love you, there will be another one of these tomorrow, and the next day, til I”m back to the land of cell service and I can call you.

[coffee-for-elephants]

So thankful. Hard to believe its already been 1 year and 9 months and we still havent gone a single day without some form of contact. Thats insane to me. I love you.

[pan-nino]

very important

[pan-nino]

Oh god so bloated.

I’m guessing. Ill probably be so bloated. All there is to do at sea is consume. I’ve consumed food, alcohol, literature, podcasts. Lonely bloated ocean boy. Talk to you tomorrow.

[coffee-for-elephants]

Not at all surprised.

[pan-nino]

Good morning!

Day two: I’m awake hella early to get that good ocean brunch.

You have goals for the day. 1. Do accounting. 2. Punch your brother for being a little shit. 3. Find out about Hannah and fill me in tomorrow.

Hoping you’re staying busy with vine compilations. I love you.

Later today I’ll probably be whining about having eaten too much, ignore that.

[coffee-for-elephants]

Still so in love. Also who the fuck is Hannah?