Sometimes I wonder what itâs like to be outgoing, willing to put myself out there, that kind of girl. I go onto insta, check my Facebook, see all those girls who have âself-confidenceâ. Bikini pics, cute couple pics, just nice profiles in general. Donât know how they actually feel mentally but they are able to project that image online.
Sometimes I wanna be cute like that too, yet Iâm 23, never had a boyfriend, keep failing to maintain a workout routine, struggle to keep a convo going on those dating apps. I have really bad eczema too, my whole body flared and it didnât get better until I took steroids. Sometimes I get scared that with all my scars, Iâm not flattering either. Usually I can ignore it, but the thought of intimacy kinda scares me. The girls who have smooth skin, showing off their thighs and butts, not even gonna mention my lack of butt, my skin is so rough.
I had an existential crisis at night wondering if Iâm wasting my life now. I see Facebook uni confessions about girls and guys sleeping around, breaking up with exes, am I missing out an important part of my life. (Lol canât even blame the corona coz I know itâs my personality).
Usually Iâm okay but I think the uni exam stress, quarantine and eczema have really thrown me. Also know my worries arenât that important to whatâs happening in the world out there, everyone please look after yourself.
