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@coffee-writher
Quiet Tides🌊
The sea has a way of calming me without asking anything in return.
no pressure, no noise, no explanations, just soft waves, warm light, and a little peace I didn’t know I needed.
Sometimes, that kind of quiet means everything. 🐚
I Met My Younger Self Today—We Had Our Shared Life Catch-Up Over a Cup of Hot Coffee…
It was eleven in the evening. The kind of late night that felt heavier than most. The house was quiet, save for the rhythmic ticking of the clock on the wall. I sat on the couch—the one big enough for a whole family, yet somehow, I was always the only one here.
A cup of coffee sat between my hands, warmth seeping into my palms as my gaze drifted to the wall in front of me.
Framed memories lined up in perfect sequence—baptism, childhood birthdays, grade school ribbons, high school achievements, college graduation. And then, a more recent one—me, standing tall, dressed in corporate wear, the picture of adulthood. I traced the timeline with my eyes, lingering on each stage, feeling the bittersweet pull of nostalgia.
I already had two beautiful daughters now—bright, wonderful, full of life. My parents were growing older, their laughter still familiar but softer, slower. My siblings and I were carving out our own paths, building careers, stepping into the roles we once only imagined. Life was moving forward, as it always does.
Still, a quiet thought lingered. When did everything start changing?
"I thought we'd be happier by now," a voice interrupted my thoughts.
I turned.
There she was—me, but younger. The version of myself untouched by the weight of reality. She sat at the other end of the couch, coffee cup in hand, eyes filled with unfiltered hope.
I let out a small, knowing smile. "I used to think that too."
She tilted her head, brows furrowing. "But you did everything right, didn’t you?"
I sighed, swirling the coffee in my cup. "I tried."
She waited for something more, something certain, something that would make sense of all the growing pains.
"We made it somewhere," I finally said. "Not exactly how you imagined, but I think we’re learning that life doesn’t always follow a script. And that’s okay."
Her lips pressed together, still unconvinced. "But are we happy?"
I exhaled softly, my eyes drifting back to the pictures. To the younger versions of me, forever frozen in time, blissfully unaware of the heartbreaks, the silent battles, the weight of responsibility.
"Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no," I admitted. "But happiness isn’t the only thing that matters. Sometimes, it’s about finding peace in the life you’ve built, even if it looks different from what you imagined."
She took a slow sip of her coffee, letting my words settle. "So, what’s the best thing I have to look forward to?"
I smiled, the answer coming to me without hesitation.
"Love. In ways you never expected. In the small, quiet moments. In the faces of people who make the world feel less lonely. In knowing that even when everything changes, some things—like the way you take your coffee, or the sound of your mother’s voice calling you for dinner—stay the same."
Her expression softened, the weight of my words sinking in. And for the first time that night, she smiled.
We sat there in silence, sipping our coffee, listening to the quiet hum of the night.
And in that moment, I realized—maybe I wasn’t as alone as I thought.
normalize not forcing people to choose you. If someone thinks they can get better elsewhere – let them try. Respectfully.
RESPECTFULLY
They hate you behind your back, but cannot afford to lose you out of their life because they secretly love the things you have in your life.
𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐉𝐮𝐝𝐠𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐫 𝐈𝐧𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞?
During our Designare support group session with Coach Dionelyn, I had a realization about the importance of not judging or invalidating others.
As we shared our experiences and challenges with one another, I found myself listening to the stories of my fellow group members with a deep sense of empathy and understanding.
One of my fellow members, shared his frustration about his unfamiliar work tasks, which made me reminisce how I felt when I was in his situation back then. Lack of support system, frustration to do the tasks well, and by having self doubts.
But in the end, I told him that I felt the same way and that's normal to feel that way. And it may be frustrating but it will also help him to better himself by learning & exploring new things.
I also realized that, when we judge or invalidate someone, we not only hurting them, but we also limit our own capacity for empathy and compassion. By reducing someone to a stereotype or dismissing their feelings, we deny ourselves the opportunity to connect with them on a deeper level and understand their perspective.
On top of that, our judgments and invalidation can have long-lasting effects on those we judge. They may begin to doubt their own experiences or feel shame for who they are, which can have a significant impact on their mental health and wellbeing.
Instead, we should strive to listen and understand others without judgment or invalidation. In the end, I realized that when we choose to be non-judgmental and accepting of others, we not only make the world a better place for them, but we also enrich our own lives and become better, more compassionate people in the process.
At the end of the day, we may not always understand someone's point of view, but we always have a choice to listen to them, and listening is a great way to make them feel important. 💚
#designare #supportgroup #validation #realization #fyp
25 Things that my 25 year old self Learned:
1. Not everyone can offer a genuine heart as much as you do. And that's fine, it's their lost, not yours.
2. You may not be perfect on someone else's eyes, but with the right people, you are PERFECT.
3. You will be successful someday, but be prepared for the lonely days, dryness of passions, and struggles. Be ready to leave in order to lift yourself to the top even if it means walking alone.
4. It's okay if there are days where you just want to sleep to forget, and days that you want to vent everything out, but be careful who you share your struggles with. Tea stains!
5. It's really important to have someone who you can trust. Can be a mentor, a friend, family member, church mate, or even your DOG! 🐕
6. It's okay to be the mother of your friends, an open ears for them to listen when their sad. But don't forget that you, yourself need someone who can listen to you too.
7. Sometimes, our friends doesn't need someone who can understand them. It's okay to lend an ears for them even when u don't get their situation. Trust me, all they need is someone who can listen to them vent out.
8. NEVER ever let yourself involved in an environment that may kill your principles and dignity. Trust me, it will ruin your amazing life, your character.
9. No matter how expert you are in your field, if you're not in the right environment, you will not thrive.
10. You have to forgive not because you needed to, but because you have to in order for you to sleep peaceful at night.
11. Forgiving people who do you wrong silently and cutting them off is a top tier self respect. You some don't have to reconnect with people who drained and took you for granted.
12. Focus on things that will help you developed your fullest capabilities.
13. A positive mind is equals to a peaceful and happy life.
14. Never ever stop learning. Kung magaling ka na, laging mas may magaling sayo. INNOVATE!
15. Let your skills, talents, and knowledge speaks for your value. Di mo need patunayan Sarili mo all the time. Kasi ang mga taong matalino marunong mamili. LET THAT SINK IN!
16. People will always do you wrong no matter how good you do with them. Walang problema sayo, sila ang may problema.
17. Go with people who have the same interest as yours. This will help you learn more and helps you build positive connections too.
18. It's okay to seek mental help. Always remember that you don't have to isolate yourself. Professionals are there for a certain purpose, talk to them!
19. You have friends for a certain purpose. Be with them, unwind! Never take them for granted especially when they make time for you.
20. It's okay to complain about things, Pero dapat gumagawa ka din ng solutions to fix those things na pinag-ccomplain mo.
21. Time and family is the most precious thing in the world. Ang pera kikitain ko pa yan, Pero ang Oras para sa family? Hindi na maibabalik.
22. Don't be scared to explore. Sabi nga nila GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE? Why? Hindi ka mageexcel if you'll not do things out of your comfort zone.
23. We all need someone who can push us to do things para sa ikabubuti natin. Aminin mo, minsan gusto mong gawin ang Isang bagay Pero di mo magawa kasi gusto mo ng kasama. Well, it's not wrong, but sometimes, you have to be alone.
24. Always secure your future. Let go of those unnecessary expenses, if hindi kailangan, isacrifice mo muna. Tandaan, mas masarap gumastos ng hindi mo iisipin if may pera ka pa ba sa susunod na mga araw.
25. LOVE YOURSELF NO MATTER WHAT. ❤️
"We will never really forget how people treated us poorly, but we can always choose ourselves rather than chaos."
What's your horror story?
Halloween is coming, and just like that, horror stories and Halloween parties may cross your feeds again.
If you're fond of exciting horror challenges and are brave enough to watch horror films alone, or read spooky stories on/offline, halloween may be a no gamer for you at all.
So, what made Halloween special?
Ako? Other than that it's a yearly tradition worldwide, I believe that this event is a great event to reconnect with your families, relatives, and reminisce about the best and those not so best memories of those loved ones we've lost. I guess, those spooky stories are just part of the bonus!
Other than that, Halloween doesn't bother me anymore. Ghosts and spooky stories and films don't scare me at all these days. Hell, I even find myself watching exorcism films in Netflix on a normal Friday night.
So what scares me other than Halloween?
Bills, bills, bills... But who isn't scared of bills? I know all of us do. 😅 Kaya these coming Halloween, I've been working my ass up 24/7 to finish the construction of my dream house.
Wala na yatang mas nakakatakot pa sa sandamakmak na bayarin. It's been Halloween for me for the past several months. From getting your own house and car is a major huge step of being an adult. And believe me, house construction costs major expenses and it really scares me thinking if I can really finish what I've started.
But at the end of the day, I've realized that these spooky milestones are like Halloween.
You'll gotta face it and overcome it. Then celebrate its success like a long Christmas and New Year's Eve!
So, what's your own version of Halloween?
"KAPE"
Hello, oo ikaw nga! Kamusta? Kagigising mo palang ba? o patulog ka palang galing sa mag-damag mong trabaho? Maalin ka man jan sa dalawang yan, halika kape tayo!
Kamusta ka naman sa trabaho mo? okay ka pa ba? kaya pa? masaya ka pa? bago mo sagutin yan, inom ka muna ng kape, habang mainit pa, habang may tapang pa.
Kung ako kasi ang tatanungin mo, okay pa naman ako, masaya pa naman, kinakaya ko pa naman ang mga gabing walang tulog, ang reklamo ng ibang kliyente, at ang pag-kadismaya sa tuwing nawawalan ako ng ganang kumilos. Marahil ay hindi na kinakaya ng kapeng barako ang pagpapakalma sakin sa mga gabing kailangan ko ng kasangga.
Ilang linggo narin akong ganito, magdamag gising, maghapon tulog. Tila wala akong gana sa lahat, kahit ang mga trainees ko ay hindi ko na masyadong naaasikaso.
Tatlo, apat, limang tasa ng kape ang naiinom ko, maibsan lamang ang antok sa mga oras na kailangan kong kumilos. Dito ko literal na masasagot ang tanong ng Nescafe na "para kanino ka bumabangon" at ang masasabe ko ay "bumabangon ako para sa sarili ko at sa mga taong kailangan ako".
Nitong mga nakaraan, napag-isip isip ko na ang buhay ay parang kape. May matamis, may mapait, may matapang, at mayroon din namang tamang tama lang.
Minsan masaya, minsan masasaktan ka, minsan pakiramdam mo mag-isa ka at kailangan mong maging matapang, at minsan naman ay tamang kalmado lang kahit may iniindang problema.
Kung ako ang tatanugin, kasing pait at kasing tapang ng buhay ko ang timpla ng kape ko, pero minsan kailangan ko din ng konting tamis, at konting pampakalma.
Oh ikaw, kamusta ka? kaya mo pa ba? okay kapa ba? masaya ka pa ba? Anong kwentong kape mo?
HALIKA, KAPE KA MUNA!
Napakaganda ng mga tanawin at dagat ng Ilocos Norte at Sur, at napakaganda rin ng mga tanawin at mga bulubundukin ng Bicol Camarines Norte at Sur.
Sa ilang araw kong pagstay sa Ilocos nung nakaraan buwan, madami dami din akong kapwa ilocano na nakausap tungkol sa darating na eleksyon, marami din akong mga magagandang establishments at pasyalan na napuntahan dito, at higit sa lahat, nagkaron din ako ng pagkakataon na makipag-kwentuhan sa mga tao roon. Ilan lamang sa mga nakakwentuhan ko ay si ateng caretaker ng beachfront hotel na pinagstayan ko, si manong na nagtitinda ng balot, at manong na nagtitinda ng ice cream.
Kung mapapansin niyo, sila ay mga taong nasa low to middle wage earners sa Ilocos, ngunit bakas sa mga mata nila ang galak na maging parte sila ng probinsyang ito.
"Ate, Kuya, Manong, kamusta naman po ang kabuhayan niyo dito sa Ilocos?"
- "agpintas ditoy kyat nagado turista, nagado tourist attractions lalo kapag peak season. Haan kami nazezero sa benta/kwarta, kaso kapag di peak season, basit lang turista basit din kita pero meron parin, haan kami nazezero."
- "maganda dito kasi madami turista ang nagpupunta dito lalo na kapag bakasyon, siksikan ang mga tao, di kami nazezero sa benta namin. Kapag nga lang hindi peak season, konti turista pero kahit papano meron parin."
Bukod sa mga tourist attractions sa Ilocos, napansin ko din kung gaano kamodernized na ang Ilocos, pakiramdam ko nga e hindi ako umalis ng maynila dahil kaliwat kanan ang restaurants, fast foods, mga supermarkets, at ATM machines. Sa katulad ko na hindi nagccash transactions at puro cards lagi ang dala dala, hindi ako nahirapan sa mga payment transactions ko dito. Masasabi ko din na talagang napaunlad ng mga Marcos, Araneta, at mga iba pang nakaluklok ang lugar ng Norte.
Magaganda rin ang mga bahay, karamihan sa mga nakita kong bahay sa Ilocos ay pagkalalaki talaga, yung iba naman ay napreserved ang kanilang mga sinaunang bahay pero makikita mong alagang alaga parin. Masasabi kong ang Ilocos ay kaysarap balik balikan lalo na sa tag-init at kung gusto mong magtampisaw sa mga magaganda nitong beaches.
Ano naman ang mga negative na narinig ko? Hmm... Halos wala akong maalala, pasensya na pero wala talaga. Siguro iconsider ko nalang na negative ang mga lapses ng mga Marcoses base sa balita.
Dumako naman tayo sa pamamalagi ko dito sa Bicol. Oh, wag ka muna mag-react at sabihin biased ako ha, iniendorse ko lang naman ang kagandahan ng parehas na lugar.
Sige, basa paibaba! 😊
Pag-pasok na pag-pasok ko palang sa baluarte ng Bicol Region sa Camarines Norte, naiiyak na ko sa sobrang ganda ng mga tanawin, mga bundok, at mga bukid. (Literal yung iyak, nakahelmet ako non kaya di kita haha) Ito ang kauna-unahan at pinakamalayong probinsya na narating ko. Hanggang sa narating na namin ang Camarines Sur.
Sipocot, Pili, Naga, Nabua, Legaspi, Albay, ito ang ilan sa mga lugar na nalibot ko dito sa Camsur sa loob ng pang-5 araw ko na dito. (Syempre salamat sa kaibigan namin na si TOTO'Works, follow niyo sa YT haha, at sa family niya na sobrang accomodating, anlaki ng natipid namin sa lodging kasi pinapastay kami dito for FREE, yes ganyan kagenerous sila dito) bukod sa pagiging generous ng mga bicolano, masarap din sila magluto (masarap din magluto ang mga Ilocano pero medyo kuripot kami hahaha) Ilan sa mga bagong pagkain na natikman ko dito ay
Pansit loglog, kinalas, pancit bato, okoy na hipon, pinangat, take note lahat yan ay niluto at timimpalahan gamit ang mga fresh na rekado, at ng hindi nagamit ng mga sangkap na powder powder na tulad ng gamit natin sa ciudad.
Apakasarap din maligo sa poso, feeling ko bumalik ako sa pagka-bata. Ang ganda ng Antipolo Baao, ansarap magpicnic sa tuktok ng bundok, halos tanaw mo na ang buong Bicol region, ansarap din magkape doon lalo sa umaga. Hindi mainit sa tuktok ng bundok ng baao dahil napapaligiran ito ng mga puno at may kubo sa tuktok. (bahala kana mag-imagine) 😊
Ang ganda ng Mayon! Yun drawing ng Mayon noong bata ako, naput into reality na sa mga mata ko after 24 years! Yes, 24 na ako at first time kong makita ang likas na ganda ng Mayon Volcano. Masasabe ko na ang mga tanawin dito sa Bicol ay hindi nakakasawang balik balikan.
Medyo nahirapan lang ako dito pag-dating sa mobile network, internet, at payment transactions. Para sa isang negosyanteng katulad ko na 24/7 ang service, nahirapan ako makipagtransact sa mga clients ko dahil sobrang hina ng signal. Kailangan mo pa lumabas ng terrace para magka-signal. May mga clients na tuloy na G na G sorry naman, next time sa tower na ko titira para malakas signal haha😂 Iilan lang din ang mga nadaanan kong ATMs, karamihan nasa bayan pa. Hindi rin lahat ng establishments dito ay tumatanggap ng card transaction (swipe pa more! 🤦😅) Kaya medyo nahirapan talaga ako ng very light.
Naobserve ko din na hindi pa ganon ka-modernizado ang ilan sa mga lugar, karamihan ng mga households dito ay nananatili parin sa pagsasaka at talagang karamihan ay hikahos parin sa buhay 🥺 May mga iilan na medyo mauulad na ang buhay base sa kanilang mga tirahab pero bandang bayan pa. Ang karamihan sa mga kalsada ay kahit patag na, e malubak parin, signs na hindi masyado namemaintain ang mga kalsada.
Para sakin panananaw, mas mainam na maganda ang kalsada ng isang lugar para sa pag-taas ng economy ng isang bayan. Bilang isang turista din kasi sa lugar, nakakagiliw bumalik balik sa isang lugar kung smooth ang pag-punta.
Ano naman ang mga negatibong narinig ko? Meron lang isa. Hanggat maaari ay hindi sana ako makikipagusap dito ng tungkol sa eleksyon or kung sinong kandidato ang iboboto ko dahil gusto ko ng bakasyon at stress ako sa reason ng pagpunta namin dito, pero yung tita ng kaibigan namin tinanong kami if sino iboboto namin. Hindi ako sumagot, pero yung friend namin sabi niya BBM daw.
Ito naman ang sagot ng tita niya: "Kami LENI kami, kasi Bicol e. Parang nakaka-ano (nakakahiya siguro) kung hindi si Leni ang iboboto. Taga-doon yan sa Naga."
Hindi ako umiimik kasi ayokong makisali sa usapan hahahah usapang pang-pamilya ang tema. Pero sa loob loob ko, mas maigi sana kung ang mga tao dito ay boboto ng hindi base lamang sa pagiging kapwa Bicolano nila sa isang kadidato, mas mainam siguro na mas magkaroon sila ng kaalaman patungkol sa kredibilidad ng isang kadidato at hindi lamang dahil taga-rito kaya nila iboboto. Sa kabilang banda, nakakatuwa lang na kahit may mga tao akong kasama na magka-iba ang kadidato ay nanatili silang kalmado, instead na mag-away or debate, nagbiruan sila at nag-dadasal nalang sila na kung sino man sa dalawang kandidato (BBM or LENI) ang manalo ay sana magkaron na ng kaayusan talaga ang bansa.
So anong point ko dito? Wala lang, gusto ko lang ng gulo. Charot! 😂 De' gusto ko lang sana malaman niyo kung gaano kaganda ang Ilocos at Bicol, Norte man yan or Sur. At sana tularan niyo yung ganitong pamilya na nasasaksihan ko ngayon dito. Buong Angkan na LENI ang iboboto at may ilan sila ditong BBM naman per walang away or gulo na nangyare sa pagitan.
Next stop, Caramoan Island. 😂🥰
