thoughts&songs

british teen I 25k!!!!!! | stars and moon

[lemonzmac]

[heartbreakclubs]

[moniabadir]

[coffeeandleatherboundbooks]

and it was somehow too sacred to be shared - the crisp darkness, stars and helicopters dipping dimly in and out of consciousness under the brightness of the moon.

a whispered ‘i love you’ as she kissed his closed eyelids, long lashes brushing her lips in a silent goodbye, and the reply - unspoken, and yet understood -

- that i love you, i love you, i love you,

as much and as well as i know how, with all of my days, and all of the energy left in my bones

i love you, i love you, i love you.

- j.f. // excerpts of stories i will never write

[coffeeandleatherboundbooks]

can you stay? she asked as she woke up

no, he said

but i love you, she said -

as if that made all the problems in the world go away.

[blossomfully]

Sue Zhao

[coffeeandleatherboundbooks]

A bulletpoint list of things I want to say to you -

I miss you.

I will always miss you.

You’re still the only one I want to talk to about most things and the only one who understands. But it’s kind of hard to tell things to people who aren’t there anymore.

I guess the fact I’m writing this and will never send it shows how not-over-you I am but I also guess that you already know that too.

I see beautiful bits of you everywhere and in everyone, and it’s like seeing home when you’re in a different country because you feel so fucking far away -

Sometimes that makes me want to cry because I want to put all of those pieces together and sew them up and hold you but I lost that chance the day you decided you didn’t need me anymore.

I’ve never really been sure where it went wrong. One moment we were inseparable and the next I was oceans away.

Once you asked me what made me need you. I still don’t know the answer. I still need you.

People tell you you grow from pain but that’s a lie. You grow from accepting that life is bullshit but you’re better than that. And I’ve been trying to tell myself for years now that I can do this; I will make my own happiness; I will be whole again. I will not let myself regret these years because of you.

More than anything, I hope you’re happy.

Love, Jessie.

- j.f // I still sleep with my window open - maybe my dreams will still make their way to you across the world.

[wishing-for-deathx]

“I am tired of waiting for you but not tired enough to let you go.”

— I’m so hopelessly in love with you, I can’t leave

[human-cliches]

Paintings of oranges by Woodstock/New York based artist, Karen O'Neil

[coffeeandleatherboundbooks]

I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO PUT MYSELF BACK TOGETHER.

- j.f // midday thoughts and midnight yearnings

[coffeeandleatherboundbooks]

i still love you i still love you i still love you i still love you i still love you i still love you and i wish that i didn’t but i do i love you i love you i LOVE YOU ILOVEYOU do you know that i fucking love you i love you and i think i always will love you and i don’t know what to do or how to stop it but here it is - i love you i love you i love you, and iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou

[approvers]

[approvers]

[blossomfully]

do you think he misses me like i miss him sometimes?

I don’t know sweetheart. Maybe he does. Maybe some nights he misses you so much he can’t sleep. Maybe he tosses and he turns and he picks up his phone and thinks about dialling your number. Maybe when he gets drunk on the weekends he calls his new girlfriend by your name. 

Maybe he still thinks about you every day. Or, every other day. Maybe he regrets ending it. Or he wishes he hadn’t let you go so easily. Maybe he still has your t-shirt. Your scarf. Something else you left behind. It doesn’t smell like you anymore, but he thinks it does. 

Maybe he still talks to his friends about you. Dreams about you. Wishes you would get in touch. Maybe he wonders how you are, whether you’ve found love. Maybe he hopes that you haven’t. 

So yes, maybe he does miss you. Maybe he misses you with every fibre of his being. 

But maybe he doesn’t. 

And probably, he doesn’t. 

In any case, you owe it to yourself to stop living in a world of maybe’s. You deserve so much more. 

Sweetheart, stop chasing a ghost. You deserve so much more. 

[book-caps]

S.Z. // Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #263

[blossomfully]

“He’d never cared much for strawberries, but that summer her lips were so stained with the juices that they were all he tasted. And he’d never had a favourite fruit, but two years later, a new girl is sat in front of him, laughing at his jokes. “If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?” She asks playfully. And he remembers how her hands traced the veins in his neck and made their way across his chest. He remembers her soft breathing and limbs draped across his shoulders. “Strawberries.” He tells her. “I could live a life on nothing but strawberries.””

— S.Z. // Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #54 -“Strawberries” (via blossomfully)

[blossomfully]

She said “kiss me”, so I kissed her. Then she giggled and said “kiss me properly”, so I kissed her as properly as drunk me could. She was so wonderful in the moonlight. I remember she said “I could really love you, you know” and we planned a life with two kids and a small house in the suburbs. The next morning we woke up and pretended to not remember a thing about it. I remember though, I remember all of it and I can’t stop wondering what it would’ve been like had she loved me too.

Oh my god