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21 Signs You Might Actually Be An Ambivert

1. When you’re out in the world, you’re probably not going to be starting conversations with strangers.

2. Generally, you’re always happy to meet new people, but you’ll probably be uncomfortable if you have to do it without any of your existing friends with you.

3. When a topic of interest comes up in conversation, you’re more than happy to talk in great detail about it.

4. But as soon as that’s done, you’ll happily sit listening to the conversation without saying another word.

5. Spending too much time with other people can be exhausting.

6. Your calm, controlled professional self feels like a very different person to the one your friends see.

7. Asserting yourself is tricky in many situations.

8. You can often go out and have hours of fun being the life of the party, but suddenly find that your energy has dropped, and all you really want to do is go home.

9. When you see things written about being an introvert, you start to relate…but then discover that you relate to the extrovert ones as well.

10. In fact, your friends disagreeing about whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert is probably a very good sign you’re an ambivert.

11. Small talk is something that annoys you, because while you can do it, there are instances when it feels a bit insincere.

12. Some weekends, you just need to spend some time hanging out on your own.

13. Too much time spent alone can leave you a bit downcast, however, and you’re concerned that it’s not very productive.

14. And some of the best weekends of your life have been when you didn’t go home for three days.

15. Thinking before you speak isn’t a problem for you…most of the time.

16. You have a tendency to balance out whoever you’re with – if you’re with someone loud, you’ll be quieter. If they’re quiet, you’ll compensate for that.

17. You’re known to be quite intuitive and good at picking up signals that other people can miss.

18. Often, you just find yourself observing what’s happening around you.

19. And at other times, you’ll be getting involved in the moment.

20. So in the right context, you love attention, but more often than not, you don’t want to be the person everyone is looking at.

21. So if you can’t figure out whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, maybe it’s because you’re actually an ambivert!

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Extroverted Introverts: Ten things to know

Also known as an ambivert, an extroverted introvert is someone who exhibits qualities of both introversion and extroversion.

1. Their spot on the spectrum changes with their environment.

Your ambivert friend may be loud and gregarious around their family, but quiet and thoughtful at the office. Seeing them in both situations may feel like meeting two entirely different people.

2. Talking to strangers is fine – but don’t expect them to keep it to small talk.

Although an ambivert can hold up their end of a conversation, talking about the weather will not be enough to engage them. Their social energy is limited enough that they won’t want to waste it on meaningless chatter. They will likely push the conversation into deeper territory or bow out entirely.

3. They like to be alone – they don’t like to be lonely.

There is a big difference between the two. Choosing to sit at home with a tub of ice cream and a book feels fantastic. Sitting at home because nobody called them back feels sad and lame.

4. Getting them out of the house can be a challenge.

If you catch your friend on a highly introverted day, you may just be better off leaving them at home. They might manage to be social, but they’ll just be thinking about their books and their couch the whole time.

5. If they’re new, you can find them in the back of the room.

An introverted extrovert will approach new situations with cautious excitement. If they know someone in the group, they will likely cling to them a bit as they become comfortable. If they do not, they might waver on the edge of the crowd, slowly getting used to the water rather than jumping in all at once.

6. They’re selectively social.

They don’t mean to be snobs. They just have limited social energy and prefer interacting one-on-one or in small groups. For this reason, they can only afford to invest their social time and energy in those who they feel truly connected to.

7. Making friends is easy. Keeping them is hard.

They like talking to people, but they value their alone-time, as well. This can make maintaining a friendship tricky. If your ambivert friend makes an effort to consistently invest time and energy in your friendship, be glad. You are truly special to them.

8. Their social desires change with the breeze.

They might be desperate to hang out with you on Friday, but then not answer your call on Saturday. They’re not mad at you. They’re just super comfortable in bed watching films.

9. They can talk to you for hours.

If you manage to catch them in a one-on-one situation, an extroverted introvert will just not shut up. Once their interest is engaged, there’s no stopping them.

10. Listening is great too, though.

Sometimes they want to be a part of the action, but their social energy levels are too low for them to contribute in a meaningful way. Listening allows them to get to know you without burning up their social fuel. They also know its value from their chattier moments when they are desperate for an ear.

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