Eyes Are Like Champagne

Writer, Anglophile, Reluctant Louisianian

[coffeewithcalypso]

Fiance convinced me I should take a bath instead of going to the gym with him. And picked up stuff for my friend who's birthday it is that we're going out for tonight.

He is the only man that could have convinced me getting married (to him specifically ) was worth it and thus have to wedding plan.

Insert the Simpson's "do it for her" meme but it's my fiance

[coffeewithcalypso]

I s2g I've been doing wedding stuff all day but don't feel like I've accomplished anything except given myself a pressure headache.

There's too many options. If someone sat me down with a catalogue and told me to just put something together that would be great. It's inventing something whole cloth that's exhausting.

I never pictured my wedding. So it's truly creating it out of nothing. And I'm a DIYer, I don't like that shit. I'm not an event decorator. Ask me for an outfit, I've got you. Interior design, that is so my shit, I've had 100 ideas for the new house. But wedding, nope.

I should go to the gym but what I really want is to soak in a bath and read a book.

At least we're going to a tiki bar for a friend's birthday party tonight.

[coffeewithcalypso]

I think I've kind of solved my not eating lunch thing.

And the solution is bowls. I love rice and I love throwing different shit on rice. I've got little containers that I put everything in. Which means I can just grab the container and heat it up. No extra dishes and I can eat at my desk (a bad habit I have but I usually stop working around four so I eat through lunch).

Is it healthy? Am I hitting macros? Enough protein? How many carbs? Who knows. I never understood any of that shit. Food is a mystery to me and always has been. Proteins almost definitely not because my partner it vegan/vegetarian so I'm backing off of meat but hate tofu.

Anyway, my lunch bowl is good and I have three more in my fridge. Hell yeah!

I'm also kind of a bitch because I initially said I was going to do it for my partner too since he usually cooks dinners but I did it once, doubled the recipe and he finished it in one or two days. I haven't done it since. He eats soooo much more than I do in a sitting. It was too much food to haul to his place and my funds are more limited than his. When we live together I'll do it for both of us.

In the meantime, I'm going eat my rice and watch my friends stream Minecraft before going back to work.

[coffeewithcalypso]

Got our engagement photos in. We were going for a vintage Wes Anderson vibe. I think we got it

[coffeewithcalypso]

Thoughts On Clothes

One thing I've been thinking about but never got around to voicing, is that I think I've figured out part of why all clothes feel like they look like shit on me and it's not about me. Nothing has any structure any more. Clothes are missing zippers and buttons, anything that would account for the normal dips and curves of the body. I noticed this when I was dressing shopping for my engagement party. I bought two dresses. The first was all polyester which isn't always bad, but it was the cheapest, thinnest, crap I've ever touched. The print looked like cheap screen printing. And this was a full price dress, like $80 from a company I usually trust. (They don't make their own clothes but the ones they source are usually good quality.) I returned it without even putting it on my body and left a low star review. Then I bought another dress from Cider, which is always being advertised to me and has a good Trustpilot score (I always check anything I see ads for because I don't trust the internet). It fit, in the loosest sense of the word but since it had no zippers or buttons, it clung to largest parts of me and floated around everything else. Since I have a large chest I sized for that, leaving my smaller waist invisible under the boxiness of material that just hung down with nothing to give it any shape. I had noticed this back in the fall, shopping for pants at TJ Maxx. Everything is held on by elastic, so it's all far too clingy to be flattering because the cling is the only thing keeping it on your body. I want to stress, I am not buying cheap clothing. I intentionally pay higher prices to attempt to get better materials and clothes that hopefully weren't made in sweat shops. I don't know if this lack of anything that would make clothes flattering is a cost cutting capitalism thing, or a post covid, prioritizing comfort over form (or even just basic put togetherness) or what. But I don't like it.

Second, my underwear drawer has needed a refresh for months now and back to what feels like a prioritizing of cozy culture, underwear fashion seems to have tipped into all full coverage, cotton or polyester or whatever with print on it type styles. No mesh or lace or sexy details to be found. It has the vibes of the underwear I got as a little girl, the multipacks at Walmart. Gross. Even Torrid, which I'd been stoked to discover last time I needed new underwear, was doing this. But I checked them again the other day and while they didn't have a ton of sexier (for lack of a better word) selection they had some in stock. So that was a relief.

Lastly, the two things I hate the most about working out is it's boring and I look ugly as fuck doing it. So I finally bought one of those Popflex skorts. Not the cute ruffly one that they always advertise because they were out of stock of the color I wanted. But another pretty one. They are pricey though, dude. But I might as well spend some money to deal with one of my two problems. It is super cute and sooooo soft, and pretty flattering (though we'll see how it pairs well with my tank tops, they're always pictured with cute little crop tops and let's be real, if I could pull off a crop top I wouldn't be going to the gym). I guess it was worth the money. It's in the wash right now. I may wear it to the gym tonight. And I'll get the other skirt next time they have sale. I may even get their leggings since you can choose your inseam for those which is great for me as a long torso girlie who always ends up with camel toe if I want my pants to sit where I like them. It's still mind numbingly boring though.

[coffeewithcalypso]

I literally don't have the words to convey how much I hate 2factor authentication. At every turn, the very machines purported to make my life easier, siphon hours of my life away, small moments at a time

[coffeewithcalypso]

I recently was on antibiotics, which I finished last week. Because I had heard you should do it, I started on probiotics right after. On Monday this week (so after six days) I woke up with crazy acne.

I'm somewhat prone to slight cystic acne, usually in the cheek area. I've been told this is an endometriosis symptom. I have always enjoyed picking so it doesn't bother me too much because it's very mild, I pop them, apply my make up, you can't see it. This was next level and it's only gotten worse. My face looks like the topography setting of Google maps and it's spreading to my neck and chest.

The medical side of the internet insists probiotics don't cause acne, in fact "they are often used to treat it" according the AI summary I don't trust but can't get rid of. The skincare side of reddit says otherwise. Loads of anecdotes of cystic acne when starting probiotics. While I don't listen to anecdotal evidence for taking medicine, I do listen to it when it comes to symptoms because I think the medical industry is kind of dismissive of mild ones.

Some people said it should go away in four weeks when they "take hold in my gut" but I can't live like this for four weeks for no reason. My face looks like a nerd cluster. Since I didn't really notice a need for them and was more doing it proactively, I'm discontinuing the probiotics and seeing what happens because this is disgusting.

[coffeewithcalypso]

Broke my heart how scared this baby was this morning. I didn't want to displace him but I didn't have the materials or tools to secure the hole he was using to get into my literal house.

I did wake up early to check the trap, and threw a big blanket over the cage so he could be in the dark and quiet. My future father in law showed up quickly and took him to a new spot in some woods somewhere.

I love the raccoons in my neighborhood and coexist with them as much as I can but I have to draw the line at them living in my walls.

[coffeewithcalypso]

It's so cool how I pay $300+ a month (slightly more than my CAR NOTE) for insurance that I don't even get to use to go to an urgent care because it's literally cheaper to be a cash patient than to file with my particular insurance plan (the cheapest option available to me on the market place).

I hate it here

USA USA or whatever 🤷🏼‍♀️

[coffeewithcalypso]

Lizzo on my workout playlist doesn't hit the same in the skinny... I mean "healthy" Lizzo era

[coffeewithcalypso]

I've been thinking about to the gym all day. But not in a good way. In a my god this is the last fucking thing I want to do kind of way.

I still find it so eye bleeding, brain hemorrhagingly boring.

Damn you people with good genetics. I'm so bored with the stupid spinning belt and the heavy sticks 🙃

[coffeewithcalypso]

TACO

But also thank god. Until the next thing

[coffeewithcalypso]

I am feeling so much grief and exhaustion right now. I've never felt comfortable being an American but this is next level now.

I feel like I'm drowning in the blood being spilled in a way the men making the decisions clearly do not.

There's also a sadness that feels almost too small to even mention, that when I look at what's left of these countries we're wiping out I think how I never made it there to see them, to experience those peoples and cultures and now I never will. And again, that's nothing next to the lives being lost but it is a passing thought I've had, a personal sorrow combined with the larger empathetic sorrow

[coffeewithcalypso]

Me: I'm so tired of two factor authentication. I got it when it was like my bank. Why do I need two factor authentication on my GROCERIES? They're just groceries. Fiance: Everyone likes to feel important

[coffeewithcalypso]

Item: The Bindle Rarity: ⏶ Common

What video game world would be your #1 travel destination?

Feed your dashboard by answering my question, blogger.

Probably Spiritfarer. It's beautiful and serene and one of my favorite games to boot

[coffeewithcalypso]

I love how there are noise ordinances against us night people. But morning people can whatever tf they want.

This message brought to you by my fiance's landlord who has had people doing construction since 8AM.

The most egregious part is they're doing stuff in what is technically still "his" backyard until the 1st. But the landlord has been treating it as a free for all all week because they're actually moving in after him and want some projects done before they move in. Let me sleep, please. It's not yours yet

[coffeewithcalypso]

In the meantime with my little house it seems like I have a raccoon in my walls for a SECOND time. This happened about four years ago around this time of year.

I swear I live in the middle of the city! A small city but still a city. In one of the oldest, most sought out neighborhoods right near downtown. I've had a wild animal in my house TWICE.

The thing is, part of why people love the neighborhood is all the old oak trees. Which means animals also love it. I see raccoons all the time. I hear them even more often. Fun fact, if you've never heard a raccoon, they do not sound like what you think they're going to sound like.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure this is the little guy. I found them chilling on my roof right at twilight when you'd expect them to come out. I was going to trap him. Animal control tells everyone they bring the raccoons out to a wooded area several miles out of town to release them. But I don't really believe that. And he looks so small and scared. I'm going to try to find and board up the hole. That's what worked last time.