TW Ed-related.

Please don’t report, just block.

[coffeewithsoymilkkk]

I decided to make this a pinned post

My pronouns are she/her

I have a binge eating disorder (two years ago I recovered from bulimia nervosa). I had an ed for 8 years. I don’t do low restrictions.

This is my safe space where i can share my thoughts and where I can vent without being judged. But I also post a lot of ed memes, informative things about eating disorders and pro recovery stuff.

My dms are always open and I’m willing to become friends with anyone (but preferably 18+)

English is my third language

I’m 20 years old

hw: 130, cw: 115, ugw: 105

Height: 5’7ish

I’m vegetarian

The tags that I usually use are: #my diary, #my photo, #body check

I’m not going to post pro ana things or thinspo, however if something I post triggers you, just let me know :)

I don’t tolerate body shaming, pro ana posts, racist posts, homophobic posts!

And last but not least Black Lives Matter and #fucktrump!

[coffeewithsoymilkkk]

Haven’t been here in a while. I gained a lot of weight. I’m on antidepressants and antipsychotics. I stopped sh. I’m seeing a guy, that seems quite alright, but I have the constant fear of being manipulated. I also got diagnosed with BPD a month ago (so that’s new lol).

[someoneslittlesunshine]

This is ED/Ana tumblr culture

[coffeewithsoymilkkk]

Porn blogs please stop following me. I don’t wanna see pussies and dicks every time I come here.

[coffeewithsoymilkkk]

I haven’t been active here for a while. So here are some updates even tho nobody really cares but whatever lol

I started seeing a psychiatrist and now I’m on antidepressants (citalopram). And they are working, my suicidal thoughts are slowly decreasing.

I still hate myself and my body but that’s nothing new lmao

I’ve been binge free for one and a half months (wow). I’m trying to eat intuitively and to be active. I rollerblade at least 4 times a week and I’m slowly losing weight. My appetite has also decreased. I’m 7 days purge free. I self harm less often too.

Yesterday I hit my lw in like 4 years (51.4kg (113.3)) but today I’m back at 52kilos😩

Anyways I just try to remind myself that slow progress is still progress and to keep going and fighting my Ed thoughts.

I’m trying to focus on my exams but it’s really tough.

Ah and also last month I found out that I’m not 1.70 but 1.66 so ughhhh that was disappointing.

I have three close friends and things are ok with them :)

I think that’s all for now

[konoko]

[lousydrawingsforgoodpeople]

start today!

[timemachineyeah]

Ugh that post has gotten me thinking about fat acceptance in a way I haven’t in years. I’ve read more studies about weight and health than probably any other topic I’ve ever researched. And every time I see someone wail about health I am just like

Did you know that in post-mortem examinations there is zero correlation between weight and levels of arteriosclerosis and related diseases found?

Did you know that people with an overweight BMI have the longest life expectancy, that those with an “ideal” and an “obese” have about the same life expectancy, and that being “underweight” raises mortality rates more than being “morbidly obese”?

Did you know that losing weight and then gaining it back is worse for your heart than remaining at the weight you started consistently?

Did you know that 95% of people who lose weight do gain it back, and there has never been a single documented weight loss program that has been demonstrated to keep the weight off for five years or more in the majority or even a significant minority of people? Like, telling people to lose weight isn’t much use if we don’t know HOW to make that happen.

Like I have read The Obesity Myth by Paul Campos and Rethinking Thin by Gina Kolata and Big Fat Lies by Glenn A Gaesser (Ph.D!) And Fat!So? and several other books that I don’t own and so don’t remember all of their names I spent like four years reading every single study coming out and looking at the methodology and noting which ones had huge holes or terrible methods and which didn’t (the holes were almost always in the pro-weight-loss studies) and like

Big Fat Lies has 27 pages of bibliography. 27 pages worth of scientific citation. The book content itself is only 197 pages. That’s a page of references for every 7 pages of book. Reading the book is just reference after reference and study after study. Most of these doctors (like Linda Bacon, author of Health at Every Size) started out the same way. They wanted to use the scientific method to find a real weight loss program or health solution that worked and could be proven to work, and so studied everything they could about weight and fitness only to find out that we didn’t need weight loss in the first place. That all the studies calling for it were lacking or nonexistent. That weight and underlying metabolic health have very little relation. That the history of our relationship with health and obesity has little basis in fact and a LOT of basis in capitalism, politics, and fashion. No, really, the association between weight and health was first proposed by insurance companies looking for ways to charge people more by claiming risk. They also charged tall and short people more. And people with different skin colors. When they got in trouble for charging people for things they had no control over and had no bearing on their health, they set out to prove that weight was controllable and that fat was unhealthy to make money. 

These are also a lot of the same people who went on to invent the President’s fitness program, so if you went to public school you probably already hate them. 

Anyway, if you want a place to start reading about the issue, this article is a pretty good launching pad. 

[heavyweightheart]

This casual rant is like a primer on weight science. Amazing. I second their book recommendations, and would add to the list Body Respect by Drs Bacon & Aphramor, Body of Truth by journalist Harriet Brown, and What’s Wrong with Fat? by UCLA professor of sociology Abigail Saguy.

[imortal-angel]

Rules to prevent it from going too far

🌹Don’t lower your goal weight. Ever. Don’t forget that it’s enough.

🥀 When your stomach passes the flat point and starts caving in you’ve gone to far and you need to stop that shit.

🌷If you’re passing out at work you need to eat more.

🌺 If it’s too hard to lift normal things such as milk jug, PlayStation, table chairs, you need more calories.

🌸 Don’t work out every day of the week.

🏵️ When you find yourself saying “fuck this” and eating everything in your house, you’re restricting too hard.

🌻 Always drink lots of water throughout the day whether or not you’re fasting.

🌼 Keep in mind that you may gain and loose the same 3 lbs of water or food weight throughout the week and it’s not fat.

💮 If you really feel the need to eat, eat. And don’t feel bad about it.

Please add more 💐

[pretty-boy13]

🌾 If suddenly all you can think about is food: Eat. It’s your body’s way to tell you that it needs food. It’s trying to use as less energy as possible for that in order to keep you alive.

[superdaintyangel]

🌱 take care of ur teeth please ! its so expensive to fix them if they can even be fixed.

[green-tea-and-thigh-gapsss]

☀️ you deserve to recover. this is a serious mental illness that i wouldn’t wish on anyone. you deserve nothing but the best and i’ll always support you when you seek recovery. 🌙 it’s okay to ask for help. 

[humairalili]

Such a helpful post

[coffeewithsoymilkkk]

Guys my feed is DEAD, and that’s one of the reasons why I ain’t active anymore here. Also I’m very active on my ed Instagram account. So if anyone wants to follow me there my username is the same one @coffeewithsoymilkkkk (Just dm me that you’ve requested to follow so I know that you’re from Tumblr)

[embershollow]

does anyone else crave the idea of learning, but hate school? you don’t learn in school. you memorize for a grade, to the test. for competition. but wouldn’t it be nice if we just learned for growth, instead of cramming for a test, a number, to compete for a job, to compete for what? competition doesn’t spark motivation. it brings about stress and kicks in our survival instinct. i don’t wanna survive all my life, i wanna live. why can’t we just live?

[xyzxyzxyzlsmajdnakdbskehjls]

hey man i haven’t seen a single similar post (concerning???) so i feel like it’s important to make this.

tomorrow is ramadan. your eating disorder will not magically disappear in ramadan.

allah will not hate you if you relapse in ramadan. be it that you faint or you binge, if you need to break your fast because of your eating disorder THEN YOU BREAK YOUR FAST.

You are not supposed to fast when you are sick. YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO FAST WHEN YOU ARE SICK. IT IS HARAM TO FAST IF YOU ARE SICK BECAUSE IT BRINGS HARM TO YOUR BODY. If you start feeling horribly sick and you know, you haven’t had sufficient suhoor or iftar for a few days or anything of the sort, it is okay to break your fast and even go to the hospital if you need to.

habaybi that have eating disorders, PLEASE take care of yourself during ramadan. It is a month of cleansing and forgiveness, so forgive yourself if you relapse. You can always redo your fast after ramadan.

Jazakallah please reblog this post and ramadan mubarak to you all! ♡

[fixateonme]

for anyone following me that needs this <3

[coffeewithsoymilkkk]

I’m such a failure. I’m worthless. I’m a disappointment. I wish I was never born.

[coffeewithsoymilkkk]

Porn accounts please stop following me. Thanks.

[coffeewithsoymilkkk]

cw 54.1

I’ve lost my already small thigh gap and I love it😍🔫

Anyways I decided I’m gonna starts skipping breakfast and only eat lunch and dinner. So I will be doing at least 17 hours of fasting daily. I wanna go back to 52kg so bad😩

[coffeewithsoymilkkk]

How can I focus on my exams when killing myself is all I can think about

[coffeewithsoymilkkk]

I gained so much weight that now I look like I looked at my highest weight. I’m pathetic. 🤡