You can call me Outis (ow-tiss? Oh-tiss? oot-iss? idk go wild buddy)!!
This is just a post I can pin w/ all the info for asks!! I thought I’d collect everything into one thing so that if ppl have questions they can refer here!!
*first of all : ageless blogs + minors will be blocked*
ok now that’s outta the way - HELLO! I do HC’s for Inside Job sometimes!! Nsfw and sfw are both welcome, ships btwn different characters, Ferally Ranting About Characters Is Always Fun, polyamorous ships, x reader stuff, kinks, etc - honestly go wild!!
Everything’s tagged appropriately so you should be able to find anything you need + if you need me to tag a specific trigger just lmk!!
No incest or pedo shit, and I reserve the right to delete any ask if they make me uncomfortable!!
I try to get everything out pretty quick, but I also don’t wanna completely flood the Inside Job tag - most posts are gonna be Queued up (unless im impatient lmao)
Aside from that, this is just gonna be a blog about Inside Job stuff in general!!! I think that’s about it, be safe and have fun!!
okay but... helping to repair Alpha-Beta. The intimacy? the Wireplay? THE BANTER?
YYYYEEEEAAAA YEAYEAYEAYEA IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SMB TO ASK ABOUT THIS. THIS ONES GONNA BE LONG IM SO SORRY <33
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I JUST <333,,
well first of all, you are gonna have to be crammed in the little tube with him (<3) bc,,, yea even though YOU trust him, Reagan sure as hell doesn't. So <33 she'll just let you stay in there a few hrs and you can phone her when you're all done
LISTEN he wants to be repaired and yea sure you're probably one of the few people he trusts to repair him because... you're his human and he'd trust you with his life
BUT that doesn't mean he isn't uncharacteristically nervous about it
HE CAN'T EVEN PLACE WHY HE GETS SO NERVOUS WHEN YOU HELP PEEL AWAY THE DAMAGED CLOTHING BUT... HE IS.
Maybe it's because he's literally never been naked before <3 maybe its bc it's YOU and he's secretly worried you won't find him attractive. whichever it is, he won't stop drumming his fingers on the floor.
He has this Pinched Brow, 'I Don't Want To Show You I'm Nervous, So Instead I'm Gonna Scowl At The Ceiling' (TM) look while staring at the ceiling.
once you get a good look at him??
It's not what you were expecting, but also not Not what you were expecting, yknow??
The little tufts of artificial hair along the chest and stomach were a very nice, unexpected surprise <333 you didn't think Reagan would bother to include that - he isn't the biggest fan of it, but <333 you don't miss his Supressed Smug Grin when your eyes linger <33
OH AND THE TITS THE TITS WERE A VERY NICE SURPRISE.
'wowza are those puppies real'
'silicone actually'
(give them a honka honka and he'll actively battle to not start giggling like a child.)
PLEASE, THERES SO MUCH ROOM FOR JOKES, TAKE THE OPPORTUNITY.
OH AND
HE WONT ASK BUT,,, PLEASE GET NICE AND CLOSE <33 like kneeling, legs open w/ his torso between them while you do repairs?? <3333 maybe pausing every once and a while to give him a kiss on the neck?? <333 mmmm
most of the repairs are gonna be done w/ you opening up a plate on his back, so,,, having that closeness kinda make it all feel less clinical? Maybe some kisses here and there?? <333
The pain level is approximate to getting your teeth cleaned at the dentist?? Like a dull ache or itching soreness sometimes but overall he's,, not gonna be Whimpering and Whinging (tm) unless he wants to be dramatic
WHICH HE MIGHT DO LMAO. If you accidentally tug or snip the wrong wire, he'll Purposefully Glitch His Voice out just to freak you out, before bursting into laughter <3 what a little shit
EEE <333 BUT LIKE,,, AAA
<333 what if after repairs you just <333 held him for a bit and let your hands explore huh <333333 wouldn't that be neato <33
he'd never admit it but he's absolutely spent late nights just,, trailing his fingers along his stomach n sides pretending it's you. LISTEN HE'S TOUCH STARVED AS FUCK, THE CLOSEST HE'S GOTTEN TO A KIND TOUCH WAS BEAR-O KICKING THE SHIT OUTTA HIM LMAO HES COPING HOW HE NEEDS TO.
he really does melt into your touch <33 he couldn't begin to explain the feeling of Human Warmth vs His Own Warmth.
its,, like when youre in the bath and w/ a lose hand you start,,, swishing the water?? And you can feel the warmth ebbing n flowing between your fingers, the push-back of warm water? <333 yea its kinda like that.
JUST <33 some soft body worship??? Quietly kissing his stomach n chest while he runs his fingers through your hair?? You two ending up half-horizontal?? horizontal and KISSING?? HEEM FUCKING HEEM
YOU'RE CORRECT THERE'S SO MUCH WIREPLAY STUFF TO BE DONE <33. OH LORD.
he can't reach far enough back to mess with that area <333 which means he really doesn't expect how good it feels when you run your fingers along certain areas
Like ofc he's messed w/ his wires at his torso before bc it evoke some,, Very Nice Feelings - but it feels so unbelievably different to have you being the one touching him this time??
the,, specific feelings definitely vary?? Like if you're fiddling with the wires going to his cooling system he's not gonna have much of a reaction.
his motor though??? <333
It has a fan attached and <33 when you so much as graze one of the wires connecting to it you see that shit start SPINNING.
<333
HES REALLY THANKFUL THAT YOURE SUPER FOCUSED + CAN'T SEE HIS FACE BC... The expressions he's making to try and shut himself up?? <33
(you,, might be able to catch a flash of it in the reflection of the glass of his tube <3 fighting for his life)
IF YOU WANNA BREAK HIM??? Say you need to rework some of the wiring leading to his motor <33
is it a necessary repair?? I mean probably not. they're a little roughed up but they could probably last a few more months.
Is he gonna cum his brain out?? YEA BABEY AND THAT MAKES IT 100% WORTH IT
Best way to do this?? You two facing each other, arms coming around his sides - rest your head on his shoulder/cheek to cheek, and use the reflection in the glass to do the repairs <33
ITS NOT AT ALL EFFICIENT BUT <333 IT MEANS YOU CAN PAUSE TO KISS HIM AND WHISPER IN HIS EAR <333 plus he can hide his face in your shoulder when he gets embarrassed about how much noise he's making <33
BECAUSE OH BOY WILL HE BE MAKING NOISE <333
you're quite literally holding his heart in his hands. You're running your fingers so delicately against his very own copper veins-and-arteries. replacing old wires w/ new ones that evoke completely different sensations. this man is practically sobbing.
<333 the noises last about,, 5 minutes?? maybe 10 before he's no longer able to create anything more than a Record-Skip 'hh- h-hh h-' with the occasional choked-off moan when you connect a new wire <33
at the end of it <3333 just hold him for a bit, that's his aftercare.
<333 he's gonna need a solid While (tm) to be able to language again. or move. And even after he's able, he's gonna be Way To Flustered About How Unkempt He Got to say anything <333
Lots of gentle touches, maybe some soft words here and there? <3333 HE ISN'T USED TO SOFTNESS, THESE ARE THE RARE MOMENT HE LETS HIMSELF BE SOFT.
He'll absolutely return the favor (or do his best to because jesus fucking christ is THAT a tough act to follow lmao) but,, a short rest and some lovely words is such a nice buffer <3
THIS GOT SO FUCKING LONG IM SORRY. THIS IDEA JUST <333 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK SMDNSMD
sobbing because all the president has is AB because his family viewed him as a tool,,, so even tho AB can be a snarky bitch, he’s President’s family,, SOBS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
AB being the president’s evil impulse <3 like AB acts as his little devil on his shoulder whispering evil shit in his ear <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
NO BECAUSE <333 I LOVE THAT SO MUCH, THERES SO MUCH FUN SHIT TO BE DONE WITH THIS DYNAMIC.
THE 'DEVIL ON HIS SHOULDER' CONCEPT IS TOO GOOD <3333, especially bc,,, it's much easier to manipulate stuff from behind the scenes?? Why replace the president when you can just,, sow the seeds of evil in his mind?
problem with that is The Pres is as we like to say, A Silly Goose, and really doesn't want to be a bad guy?? HE DOESN'T EVEN /WANT/ POWER??
</3 like buddy didn't even ask for this, his family was just prepping him for this position since he popped out of the womb, and there was... no other option. He's just hoping to coast by the 4-8 years and then retire to a little house in the Bahamas where he can knit in peace.
A.B can be like 'oh but xyz will give you more power >:)' BUT THAT,, IS LITERALLY MEANINGLESS TO HIM. HE ALREADY HAS MORE POWER THAN HE EVER WANTED.
He can't even give A.B the presidency bc he'll just fucking blow up the earth or smth </3 and then how is he gonna learn how to crochet :(
i also love that i could thread this into my old idea of 'A.B replaces the president and then starts going batshit bc everyone is incompetent'... cause like,, what if the Actual Pres is just happy in his retirement?? LIKE HE DOESN'T WANT TO GO BACK EITHER, HE KNOWS HOW STRESSFUL AND SHITTY IT IS??? GOD IM SORRY I JUST LOVE THE IDEA THAT NEITHER OF THEM WANT TO BE THE FUCKING PRESIDENT ITS SO FUNNY TO ME.
GOD IM OBSESSED WITH THIS DYNAMIC NOW. I LOVE BOTH OF THEM SO DEARLY SMDNSMD.
HELLO THAT IDEA ABOUT A.B AND THE PRESIDENT BEING BROTHERS WAS ADORABLE. You made me so soft for The President, I'm officially endeared. do you have any other ideas about him? THANK YOUUUUU, WELCOME BACK
EEEE EXCITEMENT EXCITEMENT ITS SO NICE TO BE BACK. IM ALSO VERY SOFT FOR HIM NOW SMDNSMDSN,,,
(the drawing in question)
sfw below
NOBODY WILL STOP ME FROM MAKING THIS MAN KIND AND ENDEARING <3 NOT A SOUL ON EARTH. ALL OF THIS IS FANON AND I DON'T EVEN CARE <3
Bc we've been given zero info on him BUT he is already EXTREMELY 2-BRAINCELLED. This is all gonna be vv loose stuff off the top of my head, SO
HE NEVER ACTUALLY WANTED TO GO INTO POLITICS IN THE FIRST PLACE?? Like he came from an Extremely Rich Family, with a massive history in politics (senators, congressmen, etc), to the point that while it,, wasn't specifically said that he didn't have a choice, it was definitely implied.
(huh gee maybe him an A.B could bond over both being created and shoved into a specific role against their will. Maybe there could be some bonding there. Maybe brotherhood <3 MAYBE A LOVELY SIBLING RELATIONSHIP WHERE THEY LEARN FROM EACHOTHER)
Whereas A.B is,, very coordinated in general, This Fellow is a complete clutz.
HES JUST,, very tall, long legs, big hands, and two left feet </3
Constantly stumbling over himself, knocking things over - he's learned to keep all limbs in. It doesn't help that he's,, a bit of a nervous wreck?? All of this combined has given him the habit of holding his hands together in front of him?? Very Compressed.
the exception is,, Ballroom Dancing and Waltzing, bc his mother forced him to learn smdnsmd. She thought it would improve his coordination overall but,, nah now he just has A Skill He Rarely Gets To Use.
I love the idea of his 'First Lady' actually being a Cognito Agent who's there to keep him on script and in line </3 he tries to befriend her but she really isn't having it so he just stays outta her way smdnsd.
PEOPLE REALLY DO THINK HE'S MORE OF AN IDIOT THAN HE IS, AND HE USES THAT TO HIS ADVANTAGE A LOTTA THE TIME
like he may not be the brightest bulb, he knows that - he isn't curing cancer any time soon >:( but come on.
not in a weaponized incompetence kinda way - moreso in a 'Cognito Inc Has Given Up On Trying To Manipulate Me, Because I've Convinced Them I'm A Complete Moron'
LIKE WITH,, ANY PARTICULARLY EVIL STUFF COGNITO WANTED HIM TO DO,, HE'D JUST,, PURPOSEFULLY MISINTERPRET IT??? It was working pretty well for himself until they tried to replace him with a robot </3
(GOD I CAN'T DECIDE IF I WANNA CHARACTERIZE HIM AS A LITTLE TEENSY BIT EVIL??? Like nothing quite like A.B, where he wants World Domination - moreso he Doesn't Want Things To Change?? Like he's really sacrificed his entire life, every dream for the sake of his family's honor and getting into The Presidency ,etc ,etc.... So if,, smb tried,,, fucking with that??? He Might Go A Little Postal. I DUNNO THERES DEFINITELY ROOM TO EVIL UP THIS BASTARD. HAVENT DECIDED YET.)
yk what image i can never get out of my head– jrbouncingonafatdick WHISTLES VERY LOUDLY
*glances back through my archive* ITS BEEN TOO LONG SINCE I'VE WRITTEN ABOUT JR TAKING DICK </3
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HES SUCH A FUCKING SIZE QUEEN JESUS HE ISN'T EVEN SUBTLE ABOUT IT-
Like <333 no if he can tell you're packing he's gonna be trying to get in your pants and he's gonna be Bright Red the whole time <333
HE WANTS TO BE UNABLE TO WALK AFTER <333 HE FUCKS TO SURVIVE, COME ON. He doesn't just want sex, he wants the kind of sex where his brain Physically Cannot Function Enough For Him To Worry About Anything.
If when he sits himself down on your dick, his mind goes entirely blank because of just,, how much its stretching him??? <333 do you need a place to stay? Money? <333 he'll make you his in a heartbeat.
OH <33 THIS MAN RIDING YOU <333???? <3333
if you like vocal men you're gonna love JR Scheimpough bc,, he pulls no punches <33
YOU DON'T EVEN NEED TO BE INSIDE HIM TO BE GASPING?? Like he could just be <33 in your lap while you two make out and you're gonna hear him panting like he's running out of air <3
His legs absolutely give out while he seats himself down on you <33 like,, he gets about halfway down your cock before his knees slip out from under him and he completely slams down on it.
He can't help it!! His legs get so stuttery when smths inside him <3
You may have to hoist him back up a bit, just to keep him steady <33 sorry his legs get super twitchy
HIS MOUTH IS RARELY CLOSED <333 always loose n open, mewling through every movement <3
IT MIGHT TAKE HIM A MINUTE TO SET A RHYTHM <333 BUT ONCE HE STARTS??
He could be half-dead and he wouldn't stop bouncing <333 its,, the kind of riding where you can feel how badly he needs it in every movement?
Like <333 his WHOLE body is getting moving into it?? His head is bobbing loosely, his hands wont stop grasping at your arms n shoulders - he might yank your hands onto his hips, to encourage you to Force Him Up And Down <333
No matter what he's gonna ask permission to cum <333 IF YOU REALLY WANNA MAKE HIM A MESS??? Say he isn't allowed, and watch him break <33
ITS GENUINELY HIS FAVORITE THING. The feeling of trying to stop himself and then Begging For Forgiveness when he can't help it?? Begging for you to let him keep bouncing, because he Promises He'll Be Good Next Time, probably sobbing??? <33333 if you pull that trick outta your sleeve you're his new favorite person. It's pure catharsis for him.
CUM IN HIM. That's <333 fucking signature on the lease to his heart. Just <33 slam his hips down and keep him there through the whole thing.
He shivers like he's been left in the cold <333 eyes completely rolled back, jaw completely loose - he probably curls inwards until his forehead is against your shoulder <333
GRKRK <333 little sobs of thanks too.
AAAAA SOME POST-SEX COCKWARMING WHILE YOU CUDDLE <333 PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. AFTER THE ADRENALINE DROPS OFF HE GETS SO STUPIDLY RED AND FLUSTERED. Just <333 quietly cooing about how good he was?? He <33 might start asking for another round smdnsd
GOD <333 JR SCHEIMPOUGH <3333 GRKRKRGK HE DESERVES TO GET HIS INSIDES REARRANGED
Okay so this thought hit me like a truck in my work break room, since Glenn has dolphin teeth and shit, like. Do you think he bites when he’s fuckin? Cause I have a thing for biting, and a new thing for Glenn and I’m curious now, like if he was with someone and they are into biting would he chomp them????
OH BUDDYYYYYY <3333
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GRKKRKGR <33 GOD I LOVE THE IDEA OF THIS MAN BITING DURING SEX YOU HAVE NO IDEAAAA.
like <33 he is BIG. He towers over most ppl - his maw is massive. he has a clear thing for power, violence and control. Of course he likes biting during sex.
To be fair, he rarely breaks skin - his teeth are extremely dull n rounded. It's,, moreso some very spread-out bruising??
he could, very easily - if he wantd he could probably clean-snap bone. he doesn't <3 because he knows his own strength and how to use it properly. <3 you're never in real danger around him, darlin'!
THE MAIN AREAS ARE NECK N SHOULDERS. Like just,, latching onto the point btwn em and digging his teeth in while he fucks you into next year?? <3
he much prefers,, Digging In and staying put rather than a bunch of small bites. <333 like another thing to pin you down? <333
IF YOU WANT HIM TO,, REALLY TAKE CONTROL?? He has no problem genuinely just,, closing his mouth around a section of your neck. He has fantastic control over his mouth <3
<333 his teeth just barely digging into your throat, tensing every once and a while when you start squirming?? <333
FUN THING ABOUT DOLPHINS - THEY'RE EXTREMELY SENSITIVE TO VIBRATIONS. Those little moans you make?? When his jaw is latched onto you, it feels like they're reverberating right through his bones <3333
OH EVEN LIKE,, ORAL?? if you're getting particularly fidgety he might pull back and Latch onto your thigh <3 feel the blood pulse under the skin, etc. <333333 he adores the way you tense up, all excited <333
OH AND HE'S SO STUBBORN N CARING AFTERWARDS <333 he's used to like,, super stubborn soldiers?? So if you start huffing about how 'you don't need ice, it'll heal fine'?? Nah he'll fuckin,, Alligator Death Roll you to keep u still while he takes care of it smdns. Or just like,, scoop you up in one arm while he tends your bruises w/ the other hand <333 he's gotta make sure his peach is taken care of, afterall!!
cw: mentions of sterility, non-human genitalia, super light cum inflation lol . sorry everyone 🤷♂️
(gripping head thinking about glenn being terrified to have sex after being experimented on bc like let’s face it he’s probably packing mad heat and there probably aren’t a lot of people willing to take a huge prehensile dick right 🙄 except . you know. [gesturing at you]) so he’s checking in constantly even when his dick is literally in your hand like “is this okay? i mean feel free to stop any time you like, i can take care of myself—“ and you’re like no. shut up. we are having sex .
it’s not like he has the ability to get people pregnant anymore either (considering his DNA is kinda futzed so like there isn’t really any fear in him cumming inside [cognito makes their employees take consistent STI tests too. they wouldn’t do this if andre and myc did not exist.]) so once you two are all good on the home front you’re very insistent on getting that thing in you ASAP and when you do. hoohoo… heh…
it seriously feels like it has a mind of its own, wriggling into every nook and cranny and insistent on rubbing itself against your walls - as it gets deeper and the shaft gets thicker you can see glenn visibly in awe of the way he disappear in you like nothing . you press your hand against your stomach and feel it press back against you and it makes you tense up in a way that has you both gasping and rutting against each other. he’s gripping you and rambling about how fucking small and tight you are and how he feels like he could cum at any second so you impatiently yank one of his hands to jack you off so you can both be quick shots and he’s fumbling with webbed fingers to touch you as best he can: it’s inexperienced and bumbling but knowing he’s too horny to even think properly is more than enough
he cums first and is grunting and snarling and digging his fingers and baring his teeth against you and it feels like a rush of so much it’s like you’re going to pop. when you look down your lower stomach distends just a little as if you’re bloating and when you press against it with your fingers you can feel thick strands of cum dripping on your inner thighs and his pants. he makes you cum not too soon after now that his brain is slightly less preoccupied and he spends the next 10 minutes in awe of how well you took it all before you even think about cleaning up, god forbid having a round two
Me watching inside job like a month ago: Man good thing glenn is half dolphin cause if not i would totally bang and i can’t have all my friends be right about me only liking military d—
me after having several extremely vivid coherent dreams about falling hard and fast and having wild unprotected sex with glenn dolphman:
Robotus with a size kink is super duper hot,,,I feel like he’d also have a strength kink or smh if he was fully intact he’d lift you up no problem into a full nelson or make sure you stay in place as he eats you out overall horny brain for robotus
Oh shit dude Robotus with a size kink is sooooooooo good holy fuck!!!
Like, he really likes seeing you get a belly bulge when he fucks into you so he keeps changing out his dick for bigger and bigger sizes so that you’ll get a bigger and bigger belly bulge when he fucks you..........
Petting and playing in Brett's hair as he lays between your thighs until there's a visible wet spot in his trousers,, him getting as squirmy and embarassed once it gets noticed-
HOLY FUCK!!!!!!
Yes yes yes like!!! He’s eating you out and he’s so eager to please and you’re petting his hair and running your fingers through it and you can tell he wants release so bad because he starts whining and moaning louder than you are and he’s grinding against the bed cuz he wants to cum so bad but to him you’re more important so he makes sure you cum first and once he has he’s looking at you with big pleading eyes and desperately asking “can I cum now? is it my turn?” and when you nod he humps against the bed once, twice, and then cums with a deep moan, leaving a huge wet spot on his pants and the bed.
