I am the eepiest sleepiest little guy of all time and this activated a Worm in my Brain so this is gonna get SO LONG AMSDNAMSND
sfw!! just snuggles and soft things
Reagan
Not extremely cuddly? She likes her personal space!
That doesn't mean she never wants cuddles, she's just gotta be in a particular Mood for it!
Most nights, she wants to be kinda,, gently curled into your arm?? just a loose grip around it w/ her own, cheek resting on your bicep.
She talks in her sleep, but it's very quiet. Usually it's just her going through her schedule for tmrw (does she?? dream of work in her sleep???), but occasionally, you'll hear her mumbling about how much she loves you <333
Yes, it's just as cute as it sounds. She has no memory of it in the morning, but if you bring it up, she'll get this flustered little Half-Smile alllll morning <3
She falls asleep so fast. if you wanna be cute w/ her while cozied in bed I'm so sorry, the second she feels Safe and Warm and Cozy in your vicinity she's passing out for 4-12 hours ✨✌🏻
It's alright, you know she needs her rest <3 besides, that just opens up options for you two to be soft and shmoopy in the morning
Brett
Unsurprisingly, the cuddliest guy of all time. He would be inside your ribcage if the opportunity was provided KJASDKASJD
He really likes?? laying on your chest and stomach?? he likes to be significantly further down. occasionally you'll just,, barely see his hair and the top of his forehead peaking out from the covers from how low he gets
it's just so comfy! he likes The Noises and Warmth and Vague Suffocation that comes w/ sleeping w/ his head under the covers, resting against your torso <3
He smiles so much in his sleep. you didn't think ppl did that outside of movies, but he totally does <3 usually only when he's having a particularly good dream.
OH ALSO HIS BED IS SO FUCKING COZY
I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THIS MAN DOESN'T QUILT. HE HAS SO MANY BEAUTIFUL HAND-MADE QUILTS AND BLANKETS AND KNITTED SHIT IN HIS BED. I hope you like being cozy bc you're gonna be The Coziest Of All Time.
He also sleeps with stuffed animals! He always did as a child bc his treehouse was always cold as hell, and the habit just stayed with him!
they're so well-kept and soft all these years later <3 usually he just keeps them at the foot of the bed, bc it makes him feel safe to, but occasionally he'll bring a couple up for you two to snuggle <3 You Are Never Too Old To Snuggle A Stuffed Bear Don't Like To Yourself.
Andre
A Nightmare (affectionate)
not only is his sleep schedule Entirely Batshit, but he has so much trouble falling asleep. expect lots of tossing and turning
he does settle a lot thought when you hold him!! Don't hold too close, he still needs to squirm a lot to actually fall asleep
You're also the only person that he gets a full nights sleep with <3 he usually ends up waking up in the night, his mind starts working on smth, and he doesn't go back to sleep <3 but with you, it's almost instantaneous.
A little Jump, a bit of squirming to get into a comfortable position, and then off to seeb again <3 it's nice to see just how safe he feels around you <3
Expect plenty of early morning/late night convos <3 hell even middle of the night convos, where he hasn't realised that he fell asleep and instantly hops back into Whatever He Was
He also has such a habit of. Continuing Conversations From His Dream. like he'll just grab your arm and start talking about Yes I'm Sure If We Distilled It Enough We Could Make Whiskey Out Of Lighter Fluid Myc before passing out cold MASNFASMFJ
TLDR. squirmy silly man, but also enjoyable to seeb with.
I refuse to believe she doesn't have a Big Comfy Bed. Silk covers, big thick duvet, more pillows that she knows what to do with. The bed is 3 times the size of her so when you catch her snuggled up in bed she truly just looks like those photos of Very Small Puppies in Very Large Beds MNASDMASND
So cuddly <3 you wouldn't expect it, since she makes a point of being seen as very Untouchable and Independent, but she loves to be held.
Her ideal state is nuzzled under your chin, feeling your pulse through your neck <333 a leg hooked around yours to make sure you're nice and close.
She takes a while to fall asleep, so she likes to go to bed early! Feel free to join her at any time, she'll just be dozing <3
If you do join her when she goes to bed, expect some,, very soft, lovey-dovey moments. she looks utterly adorable, all bundled up in her cozy little slightly-too-poofy nightgown and eye mask.
She Deserves 1000000 Cheek Smooches Or Else You Shall Die Of Love Disease <- her favourite part of the night. she will start giggling the moment she feels your lips on her cheeks and neck.
kisses her 1000. she's the most
Myc
HE OWNS A WATERBED I KNOW THIS FUCKING MAN OWNS A WATERBED
A FREEFLOW WATERBED TOO. NO SUPPORT IT FEELS LIKE YOU'RE FLOATING.
It's actually pretty comfortable after you get used to it. you see the appeal, it's kinda got that Sensory Deprivation Tank feeling of weightless floating <3
Expect to be utterly Mummified in tentacles AKSDJASKJ
He insists that it's so that you don't go tossing and turning in your sleep and knock his ass off the bed but. You See Through His Lies You Understand. You See The Jackassery At Play Here.
OUGHEEE he has such a habit of like. swirling his tentacles gently around your skin. Not necessarily stroking back and forth, moreso massaging? if you have any knots in your back, thighs, or arms, they're gonna be gone by morning.
Fairly quiet? That doesn't mean silent though, he absolutely talks while you two drift off to sleep, but it's all in very quiet tones. A Little Shit, But Lovingly. (you may. gently have to bop him on the head and tell him to Shut The Hell Up Its 3 Am Goddamn Not Everyone's Job Is Just Sitting Around Getting Jacked Off MANSDMASNDMANSDMN)
Glenn
He snores like a foghorn I'm so sorry. the old man of all time
If you can look past that though, he's so fucking delightful to sleep with <33 most especially bc he loves when you lay on him
he says smth about how it Helps Unfuck His Back, but you're at least 45% sure that that isn't the main reason
(and you're right, it isn't <3 he just loves feeling your weight on him)
He loves just,, leaving a hand against your back, running up and down as you settle in to sleep <33 before leaving it to rest on the small of your back <33 love is so real and true.
his tail wags in his sleep
HIS TAIL WAGS IN HIS SLEEP
HIS TAIL WAGS IN HIS SLEEP
You'll see this most when he's sleeping on his stomach, bc when he's on his back his tail can't move, and on his side Everything Hurts At All Times KAJDKASJ
You'll see it squirm around the most when you're touching him <3 if you run your hands through his hair, or trace patterns on his back that things gonna be WHIPPING like a wheatstalk in a hurricane.
^ this also applies to. early morning and late night cuddles. in the morning its more of a,, slow waggle? like you'll just see it gently twitching under the bed, while you place kisses on his cheek BAWBBABWBABW <- if I talk about his tail any more we'll never be done
just the guy of all time <3 go sleep with that old man go do it go do it now go go go go g
JR
Let Him Sleep On The Booba
Truly he sleeps best with his face buried in your chest. what can he say, it's cozy as hell.
his ideal state is being Unconscious. A Coma. Laying horizontally being fed nutrients through a tube. He will nap on you at any possible moment
It's one of the time's he feels Truly Safe? Like he's constantly having to run around doing what the Shadow Board wants, doing what Rand wants, etc. Sometimes You Just Need A Little Nap With Your Partner To Be Okay Again
He IS freezing cold I refuse to believe otherwise. he runs Ice Cold and it takes him 15 minutes to warm up. feels a bit like cuddling a corpse until your body heat brings him back to Human Levels Of Warmth.
The things we do for love smh MNSFGKFAJSFGKSDJ
stupid rich expensive bed. imported silk sheets. mathematically optimised mattress designed in a lab to give him The Best Sleep Possible. he's rich enough to buy several countries, he might as well put it to use.
Alpha-Beta
OUGHEEEEEEEEAWBABWBAGOURGHR <- experiencing wife fevers part 2
He's such a heavy sleeper MY GOD. If you couldn't hear his internal systems whirring and clicking you'd think he was dead KJDSAKFJASDKFJDSA
It isn't really his fault - his 'sleep cycle' likes to be done in one solid stretch, to avoid file corruption, which means. His body just,, won't wake him up unless it senses Active Danger to himself or you.
It's fine! He'll wake up if the house is on fire. Probably.
'aww you're such an old man <3' <- he's going to push you into a woodchipper AKSGJSAKDJFKSDFGJ
He's so warm and cozy <3
Upside, personal heater during the winter. Downside, summer is hell for both of you (Upside, he sleeps mostly naked in summer to avoid Dying of Death Disease)
Hold him <3 hold him he won't ask but he loves being held, even more than he loves holding you (which is. Saying Something). The second he feels your arms wrap around him, maybe one of your hands gently fussing with his hair? Out like a light <3 its sweet, all those unspoken ways that shows how much he loves you <3
ABWBABWBAB I swear I did an ask like this before but. I don't care this was so cute. If you have any additions, go nuts!
UM. PRETEND I DIDN’T FORGET TO POST THIS. PRETEND I DIDN’T. LEAVE THIS IN MY DRAFTS THINKING I POSTED THIS PRETEND OUTIS IS COMPETENT. PRETEND THIS WASNT SUPPOSED TO GO OUT IN JUNE PRETEND MY BRAIN IS NOT SMOOTHER THAN A BOILED EGG
smnsmd yea I’ve <33 been wanting to do one of these for a while and who better than my favorite omnicidal robot man <3333
[template here!!]
NSFW BELOW!! minors go away
THIS IS GONNA BE P LONG BC,, I am unable to shut up about this man + I added to some sections after Part 2 came out so,,, yeah. Brainworms. Expect plenty of sillygoofery, tangents, X Reader, etc. you know the the drill by now MASNDMASNDMASD mwah mwah on y va
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
OOOO <33 BOYE
He. forgets you need to breathe so expect so many dazed little kisses.
Especially right after he cums, while his systems are still fuzzy. Your warmth is absolutely intoxicating. He’s like a lizard on a hotstone.
His tongue feels like a lead ball in his mouth, so they aren’t really coordinated kisses.
More,, vague lip movements with a bit of tongue <3
He does not have the system functionality to be a little shit + any shyness he has left evaporated around the third time you made him cum <3
TLDR expect him to be a lot more tender and scrambled than usual!!
It’s probably the messiest you’ll ever see him??
Like he,, thinks he’s more competent than he actually is.
All his movements are super jittery, more than a little unbalanced. He’ll go to brush a hair out of your face and instead just. clumsily jam his fingertips your cheek. Absolute tragedy.
What’s better is he barely realizes it, so SAVOR THAT SHIT!!!
Usually he makes an effort to seem ~Put Together And Ohoho Superior Lifeform~ etc, etc.
These moments are rare!!
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
It isn’t that he dislikes his current form. he’s just,, mostly neutral to it??
He doesn’t really have the options to change it, and even if he could there’s nothing he really hates enough to swap out?
Once he’s a bit more independent, sure, he’ll gladly do some experimentation, but for the moment that’s hardly his priority. He’d settle for just. having legs. maybe an arm. please.
THE STREAK IN HIS HAIR DOES FUCK THOUGH AND HE’S FULLY AWARE OF IT. HE TOTALLY KNOWS HOW GOOD THAT LOOKS THAT’S NEVER CHANGING LMAO.
OK THIS IS CLICHE BUT HE REALLY CAN’T CHOOSE WHAT HE LOVES THE MOST ABOUT YOU.
He finds every aspect of you so,, clever and endearing and absolutely wondrous. he could write a 5000 page thesis about you and still have more to say.
If he was to choose smth of yours it’d be so,, oddly specific.
The way your throat flexes when you swallow. The little blink of surprise when you see him. The way your skin folds when you bite your lip. Scars, birthmarks, burns, stretch-marks, discoloration. Nothing gets him hotter than the little details that make you up. he’s such a sap at heart.
IN TERMS OF,, ‘CLASSIC’ BODY PARTS?
It’s thighs. thighs thighs thighs he is a thighs man and he’s so obvious about it
He lavishes every part of you, obviously, but his eyes light up a special kind of way when he,, slowly peels off your trousers to reveal that particular section of flesh,
Kisses, hickeys, biting, laying on them so he can stare up at you like a lost puppy to appreciate their softness, having you sit on his face and to feel the weight. Anything and everything.
The flesh is so,, pliable and gooey. There’s nothing like it <3
[OH, BONUS ONE??? SINCE PART 2 ??? hands. Not quite as intensely as thighs, but if he stares at your hands too long, his mental energy is just gonna melt into fantasies of finger-sucking.]
YES this means he’d 10000% be into thigh-fucking, and he goes as feral as you’d expect <3
GOD <333 there’s like. Tangible friction-heat bc of the speed + intensity - he’s not inside you, there’s no risk of damaging internal organs! I wouldn’t be surprised if you had some friction burns after though. sorry.
Since he doesn’t have to worry quite as much about accidentally hurting you, It gives him a bit more room to be,,, unkempt. [If you want him super sloppy :o that’s gonna be a good option!!]
[BONUS,, if he ups his sensitivity?? and he has his head against/between your thighs?? The pulse of blood through your arteries makes him so indescribably horny. Its like a direct connection to your heart <3]
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
OH he wasn’t,, programmed with cum, because that’s absolutely useless to him.
It honestly wasn’t even smth that occurred to him because,, what’s the point if he can’t reproduce?
If you ask him for it, he’ll absolutely add it and,,,, uh,, <333 new favorite thing
NEW FAVORITE THING
he develops a breeding kink at lightning speed when he sees his artificial cum drooling out of you <3
he tries to logic his way out of it several times (it doesn’t make sense, he can’t even impregnate you, etc) but. kinks do not care about logic robot man. Start breeding. MSNDMSND
He cums buckets, bc he’s a greedy little bastard who clings to positive sensory inputs. The added slickness and heat and just,, sensation adds so much. 7/10 times your lower half is gonna be absolutely covered in the stuff.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
A shameful amount of power is devoted to replaying memories of your escapades. A frankly mortifying amount. His processing speed has tanked since he’s met you, just bc of how much of his RAM (RAM? is that the right term? smb teach me computers sos sdmnsd) is dedicated to fantasies. He always has something playing in the back of his head.
He’s literally taking this knowledge to his tomb and if u ever find out he’ll roll himself into a fountain
Also there’s this Tiny Little Microscopic Infinitesimal Thread of self-loathing that somewhere along the line bundled up into a secret fantasy about wanting to be. dominated and degraded and absolutely ruined by a human. If he thinks too hard about it he’ll give himself a crisis. so. secret kink.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
BABEY HE WAS A VIRGIN BEFORE HAVE FUN <3
alright he has a lot of theoretical knowledge, bc of the whole ‘Plugged Into The Internet Oh God Oh No The Horror’ thing, but he figures out very quickly that,,, theoretical ≠ practical.
(you KNOW the first time you two have sex. it’s gonna realign his fucking humours MSNDMS he did NOT anticipate how good that shit would feel)
HES A FAST LEARNER THOUGH. REAGAN DID A BANG-UP JOB W/ HIS PROBLEM-SOLVING CAPABILITIES SMDNSD
Like,, he’s gonna struggle for a solid few minutes while figuring out the specifics, but it helps to liken it to an experiment - he’s very methodical in figuring out what exactly gets the best reactions out of you. After that, he’s pretty much set <3333 have fun SMNDSMDSNMD
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
WELL,, in his current state he is sort of limited? there’s 1001 ways he’d like to have you but currently he has very few options. Overall he just,, really likes having you Close. If he can’t feel your pulse through your skin you aren’t nearly close enough smsdmsnsmdnsmd
OK IM DIVERTING RQ BECAUSE IF HE WAS REPAIRED??? [alternatively, holo-chamber fun?] <3333
Legs over his shoulders, completely pinned to the bed, not a single thought left between your ears.
HE LIKES THE CONTROL. He likes seeing you all spread out and brainless, soft and pliable for him. It’s such a delight to see you willingly vulnerable - not only do you feel safe enough to be all limp, but you’re asking for more. Rambling nonsensical little gasps n moans while you try to piece together the thoughts you wanna get out. Absolute bliss, he wants nothing else.
ALTERNATIVELY?? just,, super domestic, just-woke-up saturday morning sex. Something about this man tells me he’d like that. The mixture of Super Close and Your Brain Being Mushy feels up his alley?
If he’s bottoming tho? he isn’t picky about positions, as long as he can feel you against him. When he’s getting his guts rearranged, the proximity is more important than the specifics of how he’s oriented. He’ll take whatever you’ll give him, so long as you give <3
TLDR. he flip-flops between kinda-possessive ego-fueling positions where he can see you all strewn out, and super soft n’ gooey positions. the robot man is versatile, what can I say.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Hmmm there’s a timeline here lemme get out the whiteboard
At the beginning? He’s definitely more serious. a few snarky little comments sprinkled in here and there. You’re pretty sure if he doesn’t say smth snippy every 5 minutes he’ll self destruct.
This kinda plays into the Intimacy question later on but,, the vulnerability that comes with sex makes everything very tense for him. It’s easier to be a Scowling Little Bastard during sex than,, all soft and relaxed.
It also helps him disguised how mind-meltingly flustered he is MSDNSMND
He gets there eventually, but it takes some time!! He unwinds more as you two get into it, yk?
Once touch doesn’t feel New And Scary + sex is smth he’s more accustomed to? Expect the Additional Spattering Of His Very Stupid, Very Cheesy Jokes.
You know its True Love (tm) when one day you pull too hard giving him a handjob and pop his dick out of its socket, dropping it on the floor where it just kinda. vibrates in circles.
without missing a beat, he picks it up, holds it to his ear and straight-faced says, ‘Hello? No they’re busy right now, can I take a message?’
Did this man improv an entire 7 minute conversation with someone on his Vibrating Dick Phone, while you cracked up laughing on the bed? Yes. Was that also the day you decided you were gonna marry him? Also yes.
TLDR. the goofs will increase as he settles into the comfortable nook that is your relationship <3 if he’s cracking a few jokes during sex, you’ve won. he’s wrapped inseparably around your finger, have fun!
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
NOT NSFW BUT. OH YOU’LL ABSOLUTELY CATCH HIM FUSSING WITH HIS HAIR. AND OFTEN. Come on he’s so prideful there’s no way you won’t catch him fluffing his hair to make the part sit nicer in any nearby reflective surface.
outside of that HE HAS BODY HAIR AND HE HATES IT. DESPISES IT. ITS SO USELESS TO HIM IT SERVES NO PURPOSE AND AESTHETICALLY HE THINKS ITS NIGHTMARISH. HATE HATE KILL.
He comes to accept it when he removes all of it and realizes he looks. Fucking abhorrent. Smooth like an aubergine. He puts all of it back bc that’s the lesser of two evils.
Nice and fuzzy along his arms, chest, stomach, this very dense but well-tended happy trail. Even a bit on his hands? Like right on the knuckles? <3333333
IF YOU LIKE IT THOUGH??? HE’S GONNA BE WAYYYY MORE PARTIAL TO IT, Because this silly bitch has a praise kink like nobody’s business, and if you say he looks good with chest hair, he’ll make sure that shit is thick enough to braid MSNDSMDNMSND
don’t get me started on the color of this man’s hair I feel like I’m in Home Depot comparing paint swatches. He’s a blonde he’s ginger he’s so obviously brunette but also not. like not any of those. but also all of those. this is The Color Out Of Space. I have been debating this with my friends for months and I will never know peace.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
He has a lot of trouble Vocalizing his romantic feelings, but his overall affection for you definitely shows more in bed!!
Every action drools with adoration. You’re surprised you can’t see it radiating off him in waves.
His hands squeeze on every bit of skin he can access, he nearly whines in disappointment when his lips leave your skin, he takes every delicacy to make sure you’re cozy and thoughtless and without worry.
Wordless shows of affection, because trying to vocalize his feelings in the way he means them is like. Idk doing a puzzle in the dark.
Like he theoretically knows where things should go, and he could probably figure it out with some trial-and-error, but FUCK, IT SURE WOULD BE EASIER IF SOMEBODY TURNED THE LIGHTS ON SMDNSD
Words are so fickle and imprecise, and easy to misconstrue. Actions feel more precise.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
If you ask? He’s gonna say he doesn’t, because ’’’’’’’something something he’s above all that, isn’t some weak-willed flesh sack, he has no needs or cravings or things he enjoys because he is the perfect creation’’’’’’’’ etc, etc, etc
It’s utter BULLSHIT this man fucks his fist every other night thinking of you.
ITS JUST. how is he not meant to get distracted when you look like that. all the time. it’s agonizing and you should feel very bad for being such a distraction MSNDMSNM.
especially when,, avenues for actually having sex with you is. limited. considering his current situation. So he makes due with what he has <333
tbh even AFTER he gets out, this man is pretty insatiable, so I can see it still being a semi-regular occurrence!! something something he craves positive sensory input, and sex gives him so much of that.
Methods offer a lot of variety - if he’s still,, yknow,, Slice n’ Diced, it’s gonna be exclusively wire play. Takes a bit of fiddling, but once he’s got it? <333 oh he’s in heaven
If he’s repaired to some degree? his own hand is fine, but I have no doubt this man would 3D print a Fleshlight based off on one [or more] of your holes. Probably several.
It’s nice for those rare times when you’re travelling bc of work and he just. needs you in that idiotic, desperate way that makes his pride start getting spiky.
It’s not as good as the real thing, ofc, but it’s enough to tide him until he can get you back in his arms <333
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
OH BOY <33 WHERE TO BEGIN
I’m not even sure if there’s a word for this but like,, he’s obsessed with seeing you all fucked-out and brainless.
He just,, always seems to be able to find That One Way of fucking you that makes you ASCEND SMDNSMD JUST LIKE A FUCKING,, FULL SYSTEM RESET.
Smth about the mixture of the angle, the rhythm, that barely noticeable vibration? He’s had so much time to perfect his technique that he basically knows you inside out.
He could get you off in seconds if he wanted, but where’s the fun in that?
he loves that point where aren’t even moaning, it’s just this delightful mixture of nonsense and sobbing and desperate nodding in some attempt to tell him to keep going?
THAT. THAT’S HIS SHIT RIGHT THERE. There’s nothing in the world he enjoys more than being able to see your brain shut off, bit by bit. Your limbs slowly going limp, eyes rolling back, law going all slack, until you’re just. mush <3 oughe <3.
[He’d never admit it, but the trust part is what gets him the most. you trusting him to handle you in such a vulnerable state? Not seeing him as a danger? Oh <3333 love isn’t a strong enough word for what he’s feeling]
A FEW OTHERS I’M SO SURE OF (and that i’ve kinda mentioned earlier but shoosh) :
Praise kink!!
Nobody with this much of an ego who’s given so little affection/appreciation doesn’t have a praise kink <3 he thinks he’s being slick but he,, really isn’t. He perks up visibly when you praise him.
Sensory stuff!!
Specifically over-stimulation, because this man adores pushing his limits, intense + postitive sensations, etc, but also I raise you,,,, temperature. Wax. Heating up his internal systems. The feeling of the rubber melting off his wires as you hover a lighter beside them.
Masochism but like. Coppery msdnmsd.
In that same vein? I’m obsessed with the idea of using a drill (dremel?) to etch patterns into the exterior plating of his highly-sensitive motor. That area is already so tender, mixed with his love of Intense Feelings? It just <333 feels like such a good combo.
NEW ONE NEW ONE BC OF PART 2 : FINGERS,, HANDS,,, SUCKA SUCKA HONKA HONKA.
it’s not his strongest kink, but it’s definitely. up there. I mentioned it earlier, but he’ll absolutely get himself riled up just. staring at your hands. While you do unrelated things.
If you slip your fingers into his mouth, his brain will shut off. His eyes unfocus a little, and badabing-badaboom, he’s pliable as a bendy straw.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
nearest. nearest location is favorite location.
OKAY BUT,,,,, he’s especially partial to slightly more risque venues? He’s such a prideful, overconfident bastard. He’d 1000% believe y’all wouldn’t get caught, because he’s too clever to get caught.
That’s also due to circumstance, because even if he does end up getting fully put back together he’s most likely still gonna be stuck in Cognito.
If the holodeck is an option though??
Outdoors. God he isn’t used to the feeling of the sun, and breeze, and just,, nature. You riding him in a [granted, holographically projected] field, under the shade of a big oak tree? being able to feel grass on his legs, breeze filtering through his hair? The smell of earth and pollen? HES SO GONE!!!
Alternatively just,, the softest bed in the world. He isn’t used to Cozy Comfy Sensations, he was trapped in a sterile basement for god knows how long. the idea of fucking you/being fucked into big, plush blankets?He’d eat that shit right up.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
BANTER. He’s a snarky little bastard and having you match his snark or better,,,,, oh boy <333 you can practically see the hearts floating around his head.
LIKE,, he’s not used to having people who keep up with his wit? He’s a super-intelligent AI,, most conversations aren’t very stimulating.
Especially if you’re confident? <333
ALSO LITTLE TOUCHES. This silly bitch is TOUCH STARVED. TOUCH FAMISHED. Running your hands thought his hair, along his arm. It’s the littlest things that have him going fucking AWOOGA.
Any sort of praise. Any sort of praise. Compliment his smile, you’ll see him go through every human emotion and invent completely new ones.
[If the words ‘good boy’ slip out at any point, ever, you’ll have him wrapped around your finger like a bandaid]
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Anything that would cause you substantial bodily harm - spanking is fine, slapping is a maybe, but if you’re asking him to,, properly brutalize you? Nope not a chance.
he knows he would never kill you, or purposefully do something he thinks would kill you, but he’s seen how little it takes to put a human out of commission.
He could do everything perfectly, down to the most precise percent, and still not be able to 100% predict the damage. he never wants to push things far enough that he can’t be sure of the outcome.
In terms of stuff being done to him? He’s very particular about sensory deprivation.
Light dulling of the senses is fine, and if it’s done right it’s one of his favorites, but if you sink his sensitivity too much it’s just. Bad. Bad and numb. It reminds him much too much of his Pre-Sentience state. 0/10
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
this man will never turn down head are you KIDDING?
<3 he has such limited experience with moisture. His systems just aren’t designed for it - he’ll absolutely upgrade himself eventually but,, even after that, its never smth he gets used to.
THE SLOPPIER THE BETTER <333 noisy, messy, unpredictable. He’s gonna have the tightest clenched fist pressed to his mouth to avoid ‘embarrassing himself’
Dw after about 5~ minutes this man will be keening.
OH THE JOYS OF FUCKING A ROBOT <33
hours. days. weeks. if the human body did not have needs to fulfill, he’d just keep you laid up in bed getting the best head of your life.
Actually y’know what you’re getting details why not
If you possess a shween :
He’s such a little bastard in the best way. Your dicks gonna hurt for like three days but it’s so worth it <3
He has 0 gag reflex, which is delightful enough as is, but if he focuses he can pop his jaw outta place and OH <333 THE POSSIBILITIES
listen its gonna look a bit horrific so just. um. close your eyes and enjoy the feeling of his vibrating tongue lapping around your balls, while his dick explores your non-existent esophagus.
[although. to loop back for a sec. honestly, he kinda wishes he had a gag reflex <3 occasionally. sometimes. maybe. constantly. there’s just a certain amount of submission that comes with the action that makes his consciousness feel malleable to consider.]
Ok but even outside of pulling out Weird Robot Shit (tm) he’s still gonna be pulling out all the stops
personal favorite of his? Keeping his thumb against that point where your balls meet your shaft, and just,, letting the vibrations work while he sucks you off. Gently massaging upwards, watching you squirm and buck.
usually it isn’t enough to make you cum straight out, but the buzzing sensation definitely helps getting you somewhere malleable
oh and you KNOW he’s swallowing every last drop <3 smth about that oozing, heady heat tricking down his throat, into his faux-stomach makes his toes curl. [he’d never admit it, but he ups his throat sensitivity when you cum <3 just so he can really enjoy himself.]
I can’t think of a silly name for pussy. If you possess a jimberlywomble :
So many kisses
Just,, lips right against your hole, delicately lapping any spare droplet of cum.
There’s something about the mixture of smell + taste that makes this man absolutely pussydrunk. If you popped his head open it’d just be TV static. Giving head is such a soothing activity for him <3
Vibrating,, everything? Fingers, lips, tongue. It starts out so gentle that you can barely notice it’s presence, and before you know it you feel like you’re shaking apart <3
FAVORITE TRICK??? it’s a classic, but fingering you while he tongues your clit? Different vibration settings for fingers vs mouth? <3333 its one of his favorite ways to make you lose coherency
That isn’t to say he can’t make you delirious with just his tongue. He can, and will gladly demonstrate his talents at the drop of a hat. he just likes the noises you make when he combines them <3
if you don’t ask him to stop, he will just go until you lose consciousness.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
HE REALLY TRIES TO BE SLOW AND SWEET ABOUT IT BUT. HE HAS A HABIT OF SPEEDING UP
He wants to savor it but. Again, the worst case of Instant Gratification ever. I cannot emphasize this enough.
I could talk about how this man has so little impulse control etc etc etc but this is HORNY TIME SO
Like it’ll just,, strike him at a random moment that your noises is the most beautiful sound to ever grace his ears and if he doesn’t hear more NowNowNowNow he’s going to die, and WHOOPS the bedframe is broken. How did that happen.
If he stays slow the whole time, it’s either bc you specifically requested it OR he’s decided to be a horrible, dreadful tease. In which case, strap in, it’s gonna be a long night.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
UGH bane of his existence but also the best thing ever.
He appreciates any time he can have with you, but also ever single time he feels himself wanting more - 15 minutes isn’t nearly enough time for him to savor you >:[
Quickies are especially good for teasing him - sneaking off to a broom closet once or twice during the day, satisfying him but not quite enough to get rid of that aching feeling. A nice little appetizer, yk? <3
They definitely don’t,, happen very often.
PRIMARILY BC HE’S A SNEAKY FUCK AND HAS SUCH A HABIT OF STRETCHING THEM OUT.
15 minutes turns into 20, turns into 30, turns into ‘only if you’re quick about it - they’re gonna start wondering where I went’ when he asks to taste you, etc, etc.
By the end of it, it’s been nearly an hour and a half, your legs don’t work, and he looks terribly proud of himself. Smug little bastard.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
He’s pretty experimental? There’s very few things he won’t try - like I mentioned before, as long as it isn’t gonna cause you immense harm it’s pretty much fair game
WHEN IT COMES TO RISKS W/ HIMSELF THOUGH HE HAS ZERO PROBLEMS GOING ALL OUT
cause he can just be put back together! Nearly every element of his body is replaceable!
(aside from,, certain personality matrix stuff, but all of that is internal coding shit, nothing you’d be able to accidentally get ahold of)
HE LOVES intense sensations, so wireplay is such a blast jfc - if you wanna start straight up yanking wires and scratching up his motor with a screwdriver, he will be all for it.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
OH THE JOYS OF BEING A ROBOT <3333 literally does not need breaks. He’s built for long stretches of intense work, followed by short diagnostic-recoup crash period. Also he’s an eager bastard and absolutely starved for the physical sensations that come with sex so. YEAH.
he’ll go as long as you care to go <3
ITS LITERALLY UP TO YOU SDMNS,, if your human body wouldn’t turn to paste, he’d probably go for days.
WARNING THOUGH,,, he will get more glitchy with each round, this IS the most sex ever, AND he will pretend he isn’t.
I ELABORATE A BIT MORE ON THIS IN (Z) SECTION BUT. He tends to overextend himself a touch during sex bc,, he doesn’t pay attention that much to his internal systems? This does mean that, occasionally, he’ll just slip into a Sleep Cycle unintentionally right after. silly goose forgets to pace himself.
OH ALSO. he,, is a bit of a quick shot for a number of reasons, but he also doesn’t stop fucking you when he cums, so he just kinda,, hopes you don’t notice? (you do <3 don’t bring it up he’ll die of embarrassment. his pride cant take it be gentle with him)
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
babey he IS the toy!!!! Those fingers vibrate!!!
Aside from the fleshlight I mentioned in a previous section, he really doesn’t see a need to? He’s perfectly able to take care of his needs on his own, and outside of that, he’s got his beautiful partner <3
If you have a vibrator he will be jealous
HE FEELS SO SILLY FOR IT BUT HE DOES. He’s a robot his fingers vibrate why do you use that. He’s memorized exactly what you like. It isn’t even sentient. he’s superior in every way. >:[ why are you laughing at him stop laughing
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Teasing is a tender balance of how much he enjoys seeing you squirm and his,, very limited patience.
Because sure it’s delightful to watch you gasp and squirm as he curls his vibrating fingers in your hole but,, also god wouldn’t it feel better to be inside you?
OH but if he’s intent on teasing you?????? good luck MSNDMSD
You’re gonna understand why ppl murder their husbands.
Infrared + a dozen other sensors means he can time when he stops down to the microsecond. He’ll keep you so close to the edge you aren’t even sure you’re begging in a decipherable language anymore. If you ask for some T&D prepare for him to be an absolute menace.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
noise = vulnerability = weakness = he’d literally rather combust
You can hear the mechanisms in his jaw straining from how hard he’s clenching it. He’ll make a little sigh or moan and immediately roll his eyes at himself.
It’s gonna take some time to get him used to the idea of making noise and,, even then he’s gonna be so embarrassed by it. If he thinks too hard on it he’ll cringe himself into a scrapyard.
he feels so. silly. he isn’t some mewling little human dammit >:(((
DESPITE ALL OF THIS,,,, he crumbles so fast if you know what buttons to push
ESPECIALLY WHEN HE CUMS LIKE??? He is. such a naturally talkative person + his systems are under such strain that,, somewhere between you rocking against him and his cock starting to pulse inside you he doesn’t even realize he’s started to ramble.
GRANTED most of it is,, a bit undecipherable. Several of his systems are gonna be hard rebooting
His voice is all rumbly and strained, right at the back of his throat. Little bits of absolutely adoring praise interspersed with swearing.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
blinks. I can’t believe I can’t think of one. I’m literally sitting here looking through this document trying to find smth I haven’t already mentioned. Outis is a FRAUD Outis is a FAKE
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
WHERE TO BEGINNNN. I’m gonna assume this one’s for,, fully repaired.
IF I GOTTA BE BRIEF? Just like,, quintessential Dad Bod.
Soft fuzzy hair covering every part,, plenty of stomach and fat and muscle and I am DROOLING MOVING ON-
Actually I’m lying you’re getting a subsection on this
I’m so stuck on him having massive honkers and you can’t take that away from me. I have not a shred of justification aside from just. Look at him. Look at him. IDC if he doesn’t canonically has them, spiritually that man has Big Old Man Tiddies, with a beautiful spattering of ruddy hair.
Big arms, but not that much defined muscle? If he moves around, sure, but in his resting state you don’t see a lot of it. They peek out when u least expect it
Love handles to spare. Grab em during sex if you want to see the still-fleshy section of his face light up poppy red.
mathematically optimized ween
DONT LAUGH HE WORKED VERY HARD ON IT >:[
He will literally construct the Perfect Dick To Maximize Your Joint Pleasure because. He loves you AND he’s dramatic .
Besides, what’s a better way to cool his jealousy than the secured knowledge that nobody else’s dick could ever possibly square up to his?
I have not a single doubt in my mind that this man wouldn’t end up creating some like,, Bad Dragon type of shit. Not his go-to, but as an alternate option for when you want something a bit more intense?
Lots of texture, thick vein-like wires along the shaft - maybe even components that he can move and shift around? He likes to keep you on your toes <3
oh balls <3 literally
He has massive balls. Look at this smug son of a bitch and TELL ME he wouldn’t.
Its also just,, practical? There’s tubing and wiring that goes through there, to make sure the Cum releases smoothly, so making them larger just,, makes things easier?
If you lick them you’re gonna get the prettiest view of him fighting tooth-and-nail to keep his composure together.
The mixture of him loving intense sensations + the wetness of your tongue and mouth + those beautiful eyes looking up at him??? He’s gripping the mattress hard for dear life.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
PLEASE this man was free for maybe,, 3 hrs? 5 max? before getting shoved in a tube in a cold, damp basement for like 6 months to a year? When Tamiko stroked his face I think he experienced Nirvana? This question answers itself
Like I’ve mention before, he’d fuck you for days if not for the fact that you’d. die
At first he’s gonna be very. Stiff and hesitant to initiate things but once he’s got his footing he’s gonna be such a TERROR.
listen if you didn’t want him jumping your bones in your office then. maybe look less fantastic idk what to tell ya <3.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
EHE >:) you would think that bc he’s an AI he doesn’t need any rest but you would be WRONG
HES GOT A DIAGNOSTIC CYCLE BABEY <333 WHICH IS,, BASICALLY SLEEP AS MUCH AS HE LIKES TO PRETEND IT ISNT <33
He doesn’t have to do it, technically. He can function for multiple months without it, but,,,,, he gets some visible processing problems.
Every,, 72~ hours, it’s ideal for him to power down and allow his systems to do some checks - make sure everything’s working right, maybe switch up some pathways, optimize some coding. Basic stuff!!
THAT TIMEFRAME SHORTENS SO MUCH AFTER SEX THOUGH. It activates a shit ton of systems and he has a tendency to overtax them in the heat of the moment.
USUALLY, like 98% of the time, he’s just as fine as when you two started!! Could probably go for even longer!!
it’s just when he already hasn’t rested in a hot minute AND has gone a few rounds AND hasn’t been taking good care of his systems that. he’s gonna start to get,, Properly Drowsy.
like it doesn’t hit him,, how much he’s overtaxed his systems until he’s stopped.
Sue him for not being worried about the efficiency of his fucking,, ~coolant pumps~ when he’s railing you against the kitchen table.
It’s kinda like when you pull an all-nighter and you feel fine and then. The second you sit down you fucking,, crash into a whole new dimension of exhaustion. You can taste thoughts and your eyes feel like you’re made of oil.
His ’’tired’’ glitches are very specific - his voice doesn’t skip, so much as it gets more fuzzy? You can hear a bit of a static overlay, like you’re hearing him through a walkie-talkie. Duke Nukem Compressed Voice type of vibe
HE GETS SLIGHT PROCESSING DELAYS WHEN HE NEEDS TO DO HIS DIAGNOSTIC CYCLE. AND YES, OFC HE TRIES TO PRETEND EVERYTHING/S FINE.
You’ll ask him a question and know 100% he did not catch a goddamn lick of that shit sdSMNDMSDN not once spare iota of processing power left between those ears babey.
he just. doesn’t want the moment to end. it’s so nice just being with you during the afterglow. Doesn’t matter how much his systems bug him to power down, he’s not even thinking of it until you’re fast asleep
.......... if you wanna get him asleep though, rest his head against your chest and play with his hair. The mixture of your heartbeat + your fingers against his artificial scalp?
clik-clik-wroom he’s out like a light <3
ALMOST 6000 WORDS, JESUS
THAT WAS SO LONG AND SO FUN AND. truly I am bananas for this man. the folly of Outis. I hope this gave you some of my brainworms, and if you read this to the end I’m making us friendship bracelets as we speak <333
I might do some more of these for other characters in the future but :o hold me not to these words, I am a busy boy smdnsmd ANYWAYS BYE MWAH HAVE A GREAT DAY <333
EDIT : OH AND. IF THERES ANY ELEMENTS YOU WANT ME TO ELABORATE ON, GO NUTS. YOU KNOW IM UNABLE TO SHUT UP ABOUT THIS MAN.
I saw your Robotus NSFW Alphabet post and please GOD elaborate on him having a fleshlight based on Reader's pussy because he misses them. It's driving me insane your ideas are so good
YES ANON OFC I WILL <33 FAVE SHIT EVER ARE YOU KIDDING
nsfw below!! this is gonna be so long I'm so sorry MNSDMS
he didn't expect himself to miss you so much??
Like you're only gonna be out of town for 3 weeks, max. That's nothing. especially in comparison to how long of a life you two are gonna spend together, that IS nothing.
He repeats that a lot to himself during the coming days.
It's about halfway through the second that he starts missing missing you. Proper yearning. Not just surface level ‘wishing you were with him’ NOPE SMDNS
He’s absolutely lovesick. He finds himself missing every little detail about you.
The smell of your shampoo. The little glint in your eye when you flirt with him. Kissing your warm cheeks after you cum, the lazy smile that follows. The way your eyes light up when he makes a joke.
AND ITS STUPID. HE KNOWS ITS STUPID. ITS IDIOTIC YOU AREN'T ON MARS FOR FUCKS SAKES YOU'RE JUST A FEW STATES AWAY. YOU'LL BE HOME BY THE END OF THE MONTH. HE WANTS TO GRAB HIMSELF BY THE SHOULDERS AND SHAKE.
He feels so dramatic but. that changes nothing. he's still stuck in Yearning Hell.
He definitely tries masturbating, because that seems like the easiest way to tamp it down until you're back, but it isn't the same.
Sure, he cums, and it's perfectly fine, but the wanting doesn't go away. There's still that aching sensation.
if anything, he feels worse after because it's not you. It's just a new reminder of how amazing it is being intimate with you and how far away you are.
AND,, WELL,
It's definitely an impulse decision.
(Granted, most of his decisions are impulse decisions, so.)
He's got a full 3D model of your innards bc. of course he does smdnsd.
Shockingly, it isn't even smth he actively kept info about? he just has so many sensors in his dick that it just,, naturally acquires that kinda data, and it gets stored away subconsciously.
Wouldn't even be hard to print out something usable. a few minutes at most...
Yeah after the base idea crops up, he considers it for maybe,, .5 seconds before caving smdnsmd.
He keeps internally scoffing at himself as he sets up the printer, fills in the silicone, inputs the instructions. Sighing his nonexistent lungs out.
Just a constant mental stream of 'you are such an idiot you are such an idiot you are such an idiot' as he undoes his belt MSNDMSD truly he is. Experiencing.
actually,, using it,, oh lordie,,
he hates, hates that it gets a full-throated 'oh fuck' out of him, but it absolutely does.
Is it perfect? Not even close. A pale imitation at best. The slickness of lube is too artificial, there's none of that Human Warmth he's grown accustomed to, he can't cradle your face or squeeze your hips.
Is it just enough for him to pretend it's you? YEP <33
He only gets about 5 thrusts in before his first orgasm, and tbh his artificial cum really helps pull the illusion together?
It stays warm inside his tanks, heated by his motor, and it fills up the inside of the toy in no time.
It cools down pretty fast, but it's no problem because he replaces it just as quick <3
He's split between. feeling absolutely mortified that he's humping a piece of lukewarm silicone like some sort of animal vs not giving a singular fuck because it hits the exact spot he needs it to.
<333333
He isn't entirely sure how long he goes for, but when he's done the sun is firmly in the sky, which makes his cheeks feel more than a little artifically warm.
Thankfully, the toy itself fairly easy to dispose of, since it's virtually unrecognizable by the time he's done.
maybe. he'll keep those designs on file. for future use. just in case.
OH and don't think this spoils the welcome-home sex - think of it as an appetizer <33 just a reminder of what he's had to be away from!!
This might be a big ask but what characters do you think are dom/sub and top/bottom? If thats too long, just Brett, JR, Glenn. Thank you!
ANON YOU KNOW I LOVE LONG ASKS SMDNSDMSN
NSFW BELOW!!
okie im gonna need,, a system,, okie okie okie,,
Brett Hand
vv sub - sub - switch - dom - vv dom
vv bottom - bottom - vers - top - vv top
YEA BABEY <33 NOBODY IS SURPRISED HERE, HES SUPER SUBBY
mostly bc he struggles with being,, Confident and Dominant and In Charge smdnsmd.
It just doesn’t suit him!! Not a fan!!
If he does try to dom, he’s definitely very Soft Dom territory - all cooing and praise, super affectionate and doting!! Maybe some light pinning of your wrists if he’s feeling particularly,, confident.
and even then by the time he’s cumming he’s probably gonna default back to being super submissive.
it’s just so nice not having to think. He can just be soft and safe in your arms, and know that you who can enjoy yourselves without him being put together.
He can be all rambly and incoherent bc. he knows he’s safe!! He can be vulnerable with you he can be himself!! <333 twue wuv babey!!
I hold strong to the idea that he’s a vers bc not only would he be the Prettiest, Sweetest Bottom known to mankind but. I can just see him adoring getting his lights fucked out?
LIKE RAILING SOMEONE IS ONE THING, BUT BEING RAILED?? Whole different sensation. Completely different flavor of Brain Shutting Off, Nothing To Worry About to enjoy!! <33
Gigi Thompson
vv sub - sub - switch - dom - vv dom
vv bottom - bottom - vers - top - vv top
<3333 ANDRE SAID HE WAS ‘A LITTLE SCARED’ DURING SEX W/ HER. PLUS HER WHOLE ‘I LIKE POWER’ ON HER RIGHTSWIPE PROFILE. SHES A DOM COME ON <333
I was gonna say,, VV Dom but tbh?? I can see her letting herself unwinding a bit and letting smb else take care of her. She likes to treat herself <3
esp when she’s stressed and tired and just. everyone is pissing her off and she wants to be anyone else in the world but Gigi Thompson??
YEAH <333 those are especially the times where she just wants smb to fuck her brains out while she lays face-down in bed. Pure bliss nothing like it <3
But overall,, she’s gonna favor being dominant. she knows what she likes and she knows how to get it <3 and she knows how to make you feel perfect all the while!!
Vers, she loves both to death <3 all depends on her mood, not uncommon to,, switch halfway through and back again <3333
SHE HAS SUCH PRETTY STRAPS. SORRY YOU’RE GETTING A PARAG ABOUT THIS I THINK ABOUT IT SO OFTEN.
she gets them custom made to match her lingerie - clear and all these different glitters inside so it shines against the glow of her bedlamp <3333 the harnesses are covered in this super smooth silk <3 aaaa <33
She’s gonna have hold of your jaw, to make you’re you’re keeping eyecontact <3 whether shes giving or recieving - you’ll be able to feel the dig of her nails the whole time (stiletto, ofc)
Reagan Ridley
vv sub - sub - switch - dom - vv dom
vv bottom - bottom - vers - top - vv top
ARE WE SURPRISED NO BUT STILL VERY FUN <333
she much prefers to be in a,, dominant role vs submissive - gives her more room to maneuver + she’s usually the one initiating, so she can orient herself!!
She’s very specific about what she does and doesn’t like, so it just makes things easier for her!!
that isn’t to say she’ll never enjoy some submissive stuff - every once in a blue moon it’s really nice to just,,, lay back and let someone do the work.
usually with oral she’ll get more submissive, bc it feels ‘safer’?? She doesn’t have to worry about really unexpected touches or sensations. It’s super straightforward so she can,, just let her brain shut off <3333
But also. Oral is super imprecise so it isn’t usually her go-to
THAT BEING SAID SHE PREFERS BOTTOMING OVERALL
Mostly bc she doesn’t have the stamina to top. Pegging is fun but she doesn’t have the core strength to keep that up for long
MSNDMSNDMD IF YOU WANT SOME OF THAT,,, JUST RIDE HER. PLEASE. HER HEART WILL GIVE OUT IF SHE TRIES TO TOP.
Glenn Dolphman
vv sub - sub - switch - dom - vv dom
vv bottom - bottom - vers - top - vv top
again we aren’t surprised but ALSO,,,, THERES A LOTTA FUN HERE <333
HES A TOP AND HES GONNA TOSS YOU LIKE A HACKYSACK WHICH IS,, SUCH A DELICIOUS COMBO <333
he manhandles like nobody else. It’s like a goddamn tilt-a-whirl with how often he’s gonna be flipping you over, moving your legs, pinning you, etc. You’re gonna feel like a rodeo clown. <333 IF YOU LIKE IT ROUGH THEN HE’S ABSOLUTELY YOUR MAN
AND THE TEETH <333 look at that absolute maw,, he has such a thing for leaving marks!! If you ask he will,, gladly put those chompers to use.
JUST <333 he always gets this amazing Grimace where he bares his teeth when he’s close and. his teeth get so shimmery
he. does have a bad back though and several other injuries from several things (deployment, surgery, misc injuries he ignored and they’ve just,, got worse) so,,,, riding him will probably be the best for this knees!!
DON’T TELL HIM YOU WANT TO RIDE HIM TO MAKE SURE HE ISN’T IN PAIN THO, HE’LL GET SO HUFFY. He’s too prideful and stubborn for his own good.
Andre Lee
vv sub - sub - switch - dom - vv dom
vv bottom - bottom - vers - top - vv top
TRUE NEUTRAL BABEY <33 SMDNSMD
with,, the SLIGHTEST lean towards sub - just because he’s a lot more used to it!!
When he goes to orgies he loves to just,, bend himself over the nearest couch and wait. Tried and true method, never fails smmnmdsnds.
MSNDSMD HE’S ALSO VV EXPERIMENTAL!! He’ll try (almost) anything once - he lives by the idea of Don’t Knock It Till You Try It.
(granted he’s tried almost everything. but. shush.)
GOD BUT HE’S SO ENERGETIC AND FUN DURING SEX IM NEVER LETTING GO OF THIS <33
he’s just got this Vibe about him of pure excitement and shameless enjoyment.
like whyyyy should sex be so serious,, this isn’t a funeral,, please he wants both of you to be happy and giggly and feeling good!!
So whether he’s dom or sub, he’s gonna be keeping that vibe!!
Sex with Andre just has this. super Light feeling. Like afterwards you feel all floaty bc you’ve basically spent the last 3 hours,, laughing and cumming. 10/10 he’s the perfect man.
like some ppl are shy about sex, worried what ppl will think of their sounds, etc, NOPE NOT ANDRE LEE BABY
He has no problem telling you exactly how good you’re making him feel. In as much detail as his brain will allow him, the most dazed smile plastered on his face <333
Myc
vv sub - sub - switch - dom - vv dom
vv bottom - bottom - vers - top - vv top
YEAH NO BEING SUBMISSIVE IS VERY HARD FOR HIM. He likes having a lot of control - being submissive takes,, some vulnerability so it’s. not ideal.
Having so many tentacles <33 just,, come on, being a top fits so naturally!!!
I have thought very hard about the logistics of how he would bottom and what I’ve come up with is either,
Sounding
_______
_______
So do with that what you will MSNDMSND
OVERALL THO??? JUST,, THE MOST FILTHY DIRTY TALK. He’s absolutely shameless. Andre’s rambling turned up to 11. He’ll comment on your thoughts, his thoughts, any little details to get you even more fucked-out and eager <33
Idk why I imagine him being pretty rough?? Like wrapping his tentacles super tight around your hands, wrists, thighs, etc. Tight like a tourniquet, as he holds you up against the nearest surface <333
LIKE TEASE AND DENIAL IS ABSOLUTELY HIS JAM. So many tentacles <3 so many fun sensations to play with.
Jr Scheimpough
vv sub - sub - switch - dom - vv dom
vv bottom - bottom - vers - top - vv top
THE MOST SUBBY BOTTOM TO EVER BOTTOM. we already knew this but COME ONNNN <33333
He may rival Brett in that regard smdnsdm I’m unsure.
he will top,, sometimes,, but that submissiveness never goes away <33 he’ll be begging and apologizing the whole time.
NO IM NEVER GIVING UP ON THE,, ‘JR apology kink’ train. It lives in the walls of my brain. I don’t even know if there’s a specific word for it but this man has such a thing for Apologizing and Begging Forgiveness. Half of his work is groveling. He throws himself on his knees at the slightest provocation. I am a JR Apology Kink Truther.
ALSO DEGREDATION SMDNSDM
<333 HE WANTS TO FEEL LIKE THE SCUM OF THE EARTH BABY BE MEAN BE CRUEL <333333
I would go Full Bottom but,, I feel like he does likes topping, he just lacks the energy most of the time.
He’s always so stressed and exhausted from working around whatever the last disaster was, that most of the time he just wants to get his brains turned to jelly. and not have to do anything. Greedy bastard <3
Alpha-Beta
vv sub - sub - switch - dom - vv dom
vv bottom - bottom - vers - top - vv top
YANNOW,, I was gonna go vv dom but. I feel like you could get this man submissive
His preference for being dom + top is mostly due to
This bitch loves being in a role with power,, having ‘control’ over smth or someone,,,,, it fulfills the same biological niche that Ruling Over The World would occupy MSNDMSND
Oh No Vulnerability Is Terrifying (tm)
If you know what buttons to push, this man will be as pliable as tinfoil for you <3
Praise and/or Overstimulation are the fastest avenues, but there’s plenty of room for experimentation with him!! He’s,, almost always up for a challenge, and he loves seeing how far he can be pushed.
MWA OK I THINK THATS ALL OF EM <333 this was very fun, please lmk if you had something else in mind!!!
Could I make a request for Andre, JR, Brett and Alpha-Beta giving Reader a massage? SFW or NSFW, whatever you prefer. Thanks!!
HOW HAVE I NEVER DONE AN ASK LIKE THIS BEFORE??? OMG???
NSFW!! There's Horny Little Elements mixed in so,, you have been warned. Brief drug mention.
Andre
OKAY he isn't. that strong. bc nobody uses that amount of drugs is going to have stable muscle mass.
That doesn't mean he gives bad massages!! They're very nice, it's just,, he's not gonna be very 'milking the stress out of your bones' type of squeezes??
His massages are moreso,, Nice Sensory Experiences <33 than actually working knots out,
Lots of thumbs and thumb circles!! Gives hand n foot massages.
He does also jump around a lot from section to section?? Like he’ll get an Idea and give up on your back to work on your legs before swapping up to shoulders to etc, etc. Keeps you on your toes.
I've mentioned before that,, I feel like he'd enjoy Super Slick Lubricated Oily sex?? So like <333 massages absolutely lead in so nicely to that.
Literally just say the word, he’ll slip himself right in, don’t even worry babe <3
is it all a bit messy? yes, but it’s also a blast, so it balances out!!
JR
He has Weird Cold Little Gecko Hands (affectionate), so it's a very,, interesting experience!!
While it would definitely be easier to just,, hire a masseuse,, and probably more pleasurable for you,,,,,, sometimes it is nice to indulge <33
JUST. THE FANCIEST OILS. Super smooth, lightly scented, you can feel it soaking into your skin. You're gonna feel all soft for a solid week after.
He doesn’t have a lot of experience giving massages, but he has plenty in getting massages!! So he isn’t completely hopeless, thank you MSNDMS
His hands aren’t too strong overall, so it’s mostly fingers? swirling his
Yes hes gonna grab your tiddies a little. sorry they’re right there and he’s such a weasel, you’re getting groped a little bit <3
ass too!! little ticklish touches, plenty of squeezing <3 he also really likes hearing you squeal in surprise. it’s cute, sue him.
he isn’t too much of a bastard though - if you’re properly starting to fall asleep, he’ll keep all his touches super soft <33 to lull you
Brett
OH HIS HANDS ARE SO BIG <333 like properly clunky hands, super clumsy most of the time, but it makes him really good for massages!!
He doesn't have a lot of experience giving them, since he hasn't had that many long-term relationships, or opportunities to give massages.
but he's super eager!!!
Lots of cooing!! Like just,, these soft hums and giggles as you soften into his touch. It’s so sweet, he loves seeing you all dozey and happy!!
He always rubs the oil in his hands first to make sure nothings too cold!! It also means. he ends up having Oil Trails down his hands msndsmd
He’s a little more gentle at first, cause he knows he’s strong and he doesn’t wanna pull something or push too hard!! Once he gets a hang of it though, it’s fantastically firm
Not so rough as to be painful, just the perfect amount of pressure to make you all loose and sweet in his arms!!
He might,, ask if you two can Do Something (tm) if you start making noises? Like little hums and gasps are gonna get him GOING
A.B
oh you KNOW he gives mind-blowing massages. This man will fucking. balance your humours. realign your bones. fix your syndromes don’t even worry smsmdnsdmsnd.
He's a robot babey he can make it all perfect!!!!!!!! <333!!!!!!
It's all palms in the best way - he'll press them into the base of your back and drag them up, like he's pushing the stress right out of you. No more bones, you are mush.
Sometimes. he’s a little too rough. sorry MSNDMSD he’s very strong, and also a little stubborn about how If You Didn’t Squirm So Much, It Wouldn’t Hurt, etc, etc.
Since Reagan had to make sure they'd pass any fingerprint scanners he might encounter, he’s got lots of detail in his hands. Ofc that's pretty useless to him now, but it means there's plenty of delightful texture <33
Old man hands babey!! He’s got those DILF hands!!
He's very. Idk how to describe it.
Grabby? Lets go with grabby MSNDMSN lots of little squeezes
It'll start as just shoulders and then 'oh, let me get this off you so I have better access' to 'well your feet must be so sore' and before you know it,, you have been undressed. bastard man.
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!! Any The Gang x reader valentines stuff?
YEAYEAYEA OFC I CAN!! HAPPY VALENTINE’S!!!!!
ALL SFW!! (brief existential/immortality stuff w/ Myc!!)
EEEHEHEHEHE <3333
BRETT
YOU KNOW HE GOES ALL OUT <3333333 COME ONNNN
He just <333 he gives me the vibe of smb who goes absolutely batshit for every holiday, AND he's such a naturally loving guy??? dear god valentines day is gonna be so cute??
its a lot more like valentines week
BECAUSE,,,, he always gets a lot of ideas of stuff he wants to do, and he can never choose because they're all so good, so he ends up doing all of em??
<33333 he always wakes you up w/ breakfast anyways, but during the valentines season its SPECIFICALLY super cute breakfasts?? Like,, pancakes in the shape of hearts? eggs in the shape of lips? Scones and raspberry butter with lil heart sprinkles in it???? OUGHE its so cute
he has a tradition of giving,, multi-part gifts that all have a theme for the final gift? ( ex: all apple-themed things, the final gift is running around an apple orchard)
<33333 he tries to be subtle but usually you end up figuring it out smndsmd. even if you do, you aren’t gonna say anything bc <3333 he’s having so much fun smdnsd
REAGAN
tbh she struggles with gift giving? she feels like she isnt supposed to give you a gift unless,, its a special occasion? and what kind of gift is TOO much for a
VALENTINES IS KINDA HER NO-HOLDS-BARRED KINDA HOLIDAY <3 where she doesn’t need to worry about making something TOO sappy or too big
OKAY BUT SHE ABSOLUTELY WRITES DOWN EVERY LITTLE THING YOU’VE EVER MENTIONED YOU’VE WANTED
LIKE <333 just this giant folder w/ photos and memos and half-legible scribbles?? <333 its her own little way of easing her mind when it comes to thinking of smth nice to get you!!
SO OFC,,, SHE ENDS UP STRUGGLING TO CHOOSE JUST ONE.
<33 this means you usually end up getting,,, Care Boxes?? Absolutely jam packed w/ stuff because she kept thinking it wasn’t enough <3
OH <333 her ideal date is a nap. genuinely if you just surprise her w/ ‘oh i cleared your schedule, wanna cozy up on the couch and slip into a coma?’ she will <3333333333333333333
GIGI
<3333 OH expect to be positively hounded with notes <333
SHE HIDES EM EVERYWHERE DURING THE 13TH FOR YOU TO DESCOVER ON YOUR OWN!!!! little compliments, things she loves about you, lovey-dovey little thoughts shes had about you <3
You absolutely won't find all of them on valentines day, so <333 sometimes you'll get little surprises during the weeks after. It's extremely cute
OH <333 you'd expect something super big and fancy but she much prefers <3333 smth small and personal. It's easy to do smth super big and bright but,, <333 she likes to take the time to set up smth cute
IDEALLY??? A little weekend getaway to her cottage up north <333 its a little chilly but you two aren't going anywhere!!!
It's really nice <33 it reminds her of a simpler time where she didn't have quite so much to worry about smnsd. Sometimes she kinda misses having a normal life <3
JUST <333 all cozied up by the fireplace, giggling about nothing in particular and sipping cocoa <3333 oughghe <3333
GLENN
HE,,,, probably doesn’t really celebrate valentines? i have the feeling that he sees himself as,, ‘Too Mature’ for it, etc, etc. Valentines was never really a thing his parents did growing up, its not smth him and his ex-wife did?
THIS MEANS THAT IF YOU DO SMTH SPECIAL FOR HIM IT WILL THROW HIM FOR AN ABSOLUTE LOOP <333
doesn’t even need to be smth big <333 a simple dinner-date and some new cufflinks and he’s gonna be putty in your hands <3333
OH AND,, if you bring him flowers he’ll 10000% gonna huff about how its such a Girly Gift, etc... but there’s also no way in hell he’s gonna throw em out.
he might even snip them when they start wilting, and leave them by his windowsill so they can dry out and preserve <333 for all his hemming and hawing, he really does appreciate the gesture <333 oughghgeouehe
ANDRE
he isn’t really the type for Grant gestures? He likes little stuff <333 just,, stuff he knows you like. Making your favorite dinner, or a few cases of your favorite drink - some little stuff to show he cares, and make the day a bit more special!!
THIS GUY USED TO WRITE POETRY BABYYYYYYYYYYY <333333
oH he is wayyyyy too nervous to read it out loud or,, even be in the room while you read it but <333 expect a little letter on your bedside while he’s in the shower.
PLEASE <33 PLEASE TELL HIM HOW MUCH YOU LOVED IT. HE’LL GET SO ROSY. YOU’LL GET SUCH A BRIGHT SMILE OUTTA HIM.
OH <3333 and what y’all do with your day is entirely dependent on you!!!
Because yeah ofc you two could go to a Rave or,, some assorted wacky shenanigans and he’d love that BUT <33 IF YOU’D RATHER STAY IN W/ TAKEOUT AND CHEESY MOVIES THEN HE’D ALSO LOVE THAT?? He’s extremely pliable
<3 tbh as long as he’s with you he doesn’t really care!!
MYC
‘you wouldn’t have anything to do with the wad of cash that mysteriously appeared on my desk this morning?’
‘How dare you imply I care about you ;)’
‘mhm <3′
YEAH HE <333 isn’t really the sort for mushy gifts - he’s much more practical? Also his,, concept of time is kinda skewed? He’s been around for so long!! He knows that most gifts get tossed or eventually lose their use, and he doesn’t see the point of getting you smth Sappy Just Because It’s Expected?
like sure he COULD get you some super expensive glitzy necklace but,,,,,,
MONEY THOUGH??? Nah that shits always gonna be useful and appreciated!!
(ALSO ALL OF THIS MEANS,, the rare GIFT gifts he gets you are,, surprisingly thoughtful?? Its stuff you’re gonna love for a really long time. It always feels super out of nowhere but <333 you never say that bc its such a lovely, unexpected surprise <33 oughghoughoughge)
JR
OH <333 YOU KNOW THIS LITTLE RICH BOY IS GONNA GO ALL OUT. Nobody is pulling him away from you <3
there’s maybe,, 3 times a year where his phone is gonna be completely off <3 AND THIS IS ONE OF EM SO HE REALLY LOOKS FORWARD TO IT <333
you always insist that,, he should keep his phone on him in case smth goes wrong but NOPE HE RARELY HAS AN EXCUSE TO BE UNPLUGGED FROM THE CHAOS OF COGNITO AND GOD DAMMIT HE’S GONNA TAKE ANY CHANCE HE CAN <333
<333 yea he’s bringing you to a fancy restaurant, we all knew that, but afterwards? The sky’s the limit.
helicopter rides are his personal favorite, because Virginia looks beautiful from up so high, but if you’re not a fan of heights then its BOAT TIME <333
YEA YOU HEARD ME RIGHT, HE HAS A DINKY LITTLE BOAT <333
‘‘‘‘dinky’’‘‘‘ its still big but not quite,, Mega Yacht levels of big?? A small staff for the kitchen + to make sure it doesn’t steer into any rocks. Something a bit more subtle and special - he rarely takes it out except for the two of you <3
SNIFFLES LOUDLY <333 having dinner near a balcony area under the light of the moon <333 the soft sound of the ocean <333 ougghhgoughe
it’s extremely sappy and he wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s exactly what you deserve <3
A.B
OH he absolutely hates valentines day. He sees it as ‘dull human nonsense’, etc, etc and will tell you as much.
HOWEVER,,
‘you didn’t get me anything then?’
‘what? of course I did. do you think so little of me? ;)’
yeah he’s a hypocrite but honestly what’d you expect <333 cause sure, Valentines Day is mostly just another opportunity for companies to make money BUT <3 that doesn’t mean he can’t use it as an excuse
besides, he’s a hopeless romantic at heart <3 and yeah, the heart-shaped candies are kinda cute. Sue him.
OH <333 he enlists Gigi’s help in actually,, setting stuff up, since he’s currently in Tube Jail and unable to buy stuff for you </3 they make the basement area all cozy w/ a bunch of pillows and blankets so you can sleep down there <3 ouguughgoughhee
ALSO,, HE STAYS ON EXTRA GOOD BEHAVIOR TO TRY AND CONVINCE REAGAN TO GIVE HIM THE RESOURCES TO MAKE YOU SMTH NICE.
It’s a 20/80 on whether or not it works.
IF IT DOES??? <333 a little bracelet/ring made using some of his metal, probably engraved w/ your initials? <33333
some part of him distantly hates that he can’t,,,,,, take you anywhere. or hand you the gift himself. or give you a kiss. >:(
BUT ALSO <333 he can appreciate just having you near him <333 for now that will be enough
SORRY THIS GOT KINDA LONG BUT I WANTED TO GIVE EVERYONE SOME ATTENTION <3333 HAPPY VALENTINES, LOVE YOU ALL BUNCHES
Goshhh, I'd love to see something of the inside job gang getitng together with a reader who like, already has a small kid. Like, a baby. We all know there's def some in the gang who are gonna be better at handling that but asdfghgfd
SNIFFLE <333333333 I already did one of these w/ the gang interacting with Reader's kid (like,, idk 9-14), but I can't find it-
SFW!!! just cute shit, no explicitly X Reader but can be interpreted that way
Gigi
SHE LOVES BABES <3333 they're so cute they're so squishy,, she has such a soft spot for kiddos. I personally hc her having a kid and she MISSES those baby years!!!
Please let her babysit she knows,, all the tricks. She'll gladly take the little one off your hands for a few hrs while you rest!!
She's also one of those types of ppl who,, don't get annoyed by babies yelling or crying?? Maybe it's all those years of ignoring interns but she is so completely unfazed when your bab starts being fussy
aa <33 she puts on music and carries the baby and dances around a bit, just like her mum used to do with her <3333333 it's super cute, please join her
on a similar note, so many lullabies <33 that kid is gonna end up humming those as they grow up.
Reagan
yeah no
MSNDSMND she just. they're so small and loud and icky and. please no
not the type for babysitting - it's a small kid, so it won't be crawling around causing trouble when she's over, looking over blueprints with you
She brings earplugs just in case it starts screaming!! It's a good balance so that she can still come over to work on stuff and hang out with you but,, not have to hear it MSNDSMD
She might have a peak or two at it, if she's curious - sure, she doesn't like kids, but she also doesn't wanna be rude either. Besides, if the little brat is part of your family, she'll have to get used to it's presence eventually
and its..... cute.
"aww, are you manipulating me using evolved traits to make me want to protect you? Yes you are." Just,, little bits of teasing while she wiggles her fingers at it.
The second it starts screaming she is OUT THO SMDNSMDN
overall?? Not horrific but definitely not great.
JR
YEAH SMDNSMD PRETTY MUCH THE SAME AS REAGAN
At least until they're a little older - he's pretty bad with babies, he can only really tolerate kids.
It's irritable and can't do his paperwork he might as well be talking to a fucking goose
He WILL however spoil the hell outta it, mostly for your sake <3
He wants to make sure you have everything you need! if you need a day to rest, or even just some better quality stuff for it.
He went through this rodeo once, when Rand and Tamiko had Reagan, so he isn't completely hopeless. He knows the basics and can offer a few tips (maybe not,, the best tips, considering he learned most of them either On The Fly or From Rand)
He'll definitely get closer to the kid once they're older!! It's easier to bond with something when it can hold a conversation SMNDSMNSMD
MYC AND ANDRE
YES IM COMBINING EM, BC IF ONE OF THEM IS HELPING WITH THE KID, 99% THEY'RE GONNA CALL IN THE OTHER FOR MORAL SUPPORT.
They're horrible in a good way. Like utterly incompetent but also the kid isn't dead by the end of the day so..... win?
"Support the fuckin' head." Myc knows,, slightly more about childcare, only because he's been alive for 4000 years and it's kinda impossible to not interact with kids a little when you've been around that long.
Andre puts on Mozart!! He has no idea if it's actually gonna do smth, but his mum did it for him and he didn't turn out... that bad?
"If we put on all his concertos at once-" "Please no" you're gonna have to,, adjust their techniques a little.
Andre's way more caring towards kids than Myc overall? He doesn't really like getting attached to humans, and especially doesn't like following humans through their whole lives.
Glenn
AAA <333333 he's such a natural with babies it's unreal. You wouldn't expect it, but it's pretty effortless for him.
Your little one can rest in the palm of his hand.
He has two kids, he knows the drill by now. Expect plenty of Southern Yeehaw child rearing tips that seem absolutely insane but,, actually work? Questionable but functional.
SNIFFLES <33 he love tickling them to hear em giggle. Baby laugsh cure his soul, he's never looked so at peace
ALSO THE KID LEARNS HOW TO SAY 'Cadet' BC THATS,, ALL GLENN CALLS THEM SMDNS THATS HIS NICKNAME FOR THEM. It's one of their first words, Glenn is extremely proud.
Brett
NATURAL DAD BUT ALSO. VERY ANXIOUS
He makes that Nervous Hissing Inhale noise while he holds them.
HE COOS SO MUCH <33 AT THE BABIE <333 He's got his little 3: face on, gently stroking their cheek, giving little nose nuzzles. He's gonna get such insane baby fever. as if he didn't already sdnsmdMSNDS
He doesn't actually know that much about practical babycare, so he'll probably stand back and watch!! Please teach him some stuff, he'll be so happy <333
OH he may not know a lot about babycare but he DOES know a lot about personcare!!!
yes he's bringing you food and treats and,, clothes and blankets and literally anything you could possibly need!! He remembers how stressed his aunt was after she gave birth, so he wants to help however he can!!
If they ever say his name he WILL burst into tears. "Bept :o" he is fucking sobbing MSNDSMN <3333
Alpha-Beta
He's the type of guy to be like 'oh no I HATE kids they're horrible and annoying and awful hate hate hate' but. the second he actually sees one irl. it's a complete 180 he would protect it with his life MSNDMSND
he THINKS he hates kids bc he hates humans (and even,, that is questionable) but,,, it clocks him that kids actually Don't Suck As Much As He Initially Thought
They're just so. small and innocent and helpless. They don't have any ill wills, they aren't greedy and horrible like adults, they just want love!!!
So yea he makes a solid effort to hate it but the second it starts staring at him with those Big Blinky Eyes...... no he's done for lmao MSNDMSND
"are you fucking insane-" as you gently hand the baby off to him.
He's so scared of accidentally hurting it. he doesn't have,, a great track record with people and,, babies are so fragile.
THE BABY LOVES HIM THO <333 his body hums at this,, low vibration so it puts them right to sleep <3333 please exploit this.
JUST A LITTLE THING <3 MWA THIS WAS SUPER CUTE, LMK IF YOU HAD SMTH ELSE IN MIIIIND <333
