Be The Authetnic You

♀️- recovering from eating disorders self love & recovery ㊙️ preaching about the good things in life

[coldcoffeemakesmesick]

2 years recovered

6th of may 2020 after Covid hit like a speeding truck I decided to try to recover. Recovery was difficult especially with my mindset and being sick since I became a teen. I spent ages 13 up to 18 being a self hating person. Now turning 20 this year, I finally feel like ever since I became an adult my life changed around. As cheesy as it sounds, never lose hope. It’s better to try and fail a thousands times than never try and never feel failure.

5 years ago, I never thought I would be doing everything i am up to now.

I love cooking and baking

Im one year into college

Im educating myself to help other kids who feel like I felt

I freakin eat what I want and whenever I want without any guilt

I am HAPPY

Also I don’t care what people think about MY body. It’s MY body who takes care of ME. MY business!

[coldcoffeemakesmesick]

these are one of the nights where you just let your tears stream down your face and wishing that you were just dead.

[coldcoffeemakesmesick]

I posted this 1430 days ago... it took time but I’m finally healed. I wake up every morning appreciating that I woke up, before I fall asleep at night I’m thankful for experiencing the day however it went and finally I’m happy with myself.

This is just an appreciation post of how far I’ve come and how it’s possible to love yourself. Even if takes years to come there.

[coldcoffeemakesmesick]

wondering if anyone is still around on this app anymore. i keep coming back here for some reason lol.

[metapianycist]

my approach to teaching my 3 year old to have a healthy relationship with food

preface: i experienced a lot of food restriction, food moralism and food insecurity as a child, and i believe that these factors led to my development of an eating disorder (orthorexia), which i am still recovering from. i am saying all of these things as a parent who wants to innoculate my child against the food moralism that i suffered.

what i do:

i don’t ever force her to eat anything. i will try to persuade her to try something, or to eat more of a thing she knows she likes, but if she still won’t eat the thing, i don’t push it. parenting involves a lot of choosing your battles, and it’s more important to me that she feels respected by me than that she has another bite of a carrot at that particular moment.

we don’t tell her “eat your veggies first” because we don’t want to present eating vegetables as a chore. she likes a lot of vegetables already, and there’s no need to set them apart from other food. we give her a multivitamin to make sure she gets enough vitamins and minerals

we’ve never treated candy or chips or any food as a special reward that she has to earn. if she can have it whenever she wants, then it doesn’t take on any kind of enticing sense of “this is forbidden.” and if she wants to eat an amount of candy that might make her sick, we tell her “i don’t think it’s a good idea to have any more right now because you might get a tummy ache.” and she trusts our judgment.

we will sometimes make small snack trays that have crackers, cheese, raw vegetables and sliced deli meat, and she’ll munch on them. we teach her that she needs to consume carbohydrates, protein and fat to take care of her body, and if she’s been eating exclusively carbs, we remind her that she should eat something with protein and fat, like cheese or peanut butter.

if she doesn’t like a food, we don’t make her eat it. we might ask “do you want to try it again” but we respect her “no.” if she doesn’t like the dinner we made, we’ll let her eat cereal or a sandwich (or something else quick to prepare). because we don’t want her to associate dinner time with conflict. she’s much more willing to try new foods if we don’t pressure her or make it a big deal.

we don’t describe any foods as good or bad for her, because we don’t ever want her to feel guilty for eating. we teach her about the comparative nutritional value of foods without judgment. since we’re not disallowing her from eating any particular foods, she won’t have a drive to eat tons of forbidden “"bad”“ food when she’s older and we’re not present.

[strawbear-y4]

i always think about my kids in the future and just fear that my daughter would develop an eating disorder, and what i would do in that case

this post was amazing thanks op

[buttered-toast-bitch]

Stop putting thinspo/meanspo/diets in the recovery tags

[disorderedd]

Repeat after me:

eating disorders are defined by a persons disordered thoughts and eating habits, not their weight or appearance

[this-is-anorexia]

You can't hide it.

You can’t hide your extreme weight loss. You can’t hide your protruding ribs and elbows, your skinny and arms and sharp fingers You can’t hide your broken and discolored nails, You can’t hide your yellowish and dry skin You can’t hide your massive bags under your eyes. You can’t hide sleeping all the time. You can’t hide your ‘secret’ binges at 2 am. You can’t hide your diminishing social life. You can’t hide your awful bad breath . You can’t hide your fear of eating in public. You can’t hide the fact that you are not actually vegan. You can’t hide your self harm scars. You can’t hide a growling tummy begging for food. You can’t hide your lack of memory and poor concentration. You can’t hide your failed classes. You can’t hide the fact that your lying about everything. You can’t hide your depressed mood. You can’t hide your lost period. You can’t hide fainting at the gym You can’t hide your fear of mirrors. You can’t hide comparing yourself to other skinny girls. You can’t hide your addiction to exercise. You can’t hide the 17,8975 cups of tea you have a day. You can’t hide your energy drinks and peppermint chewing gums. You can’t hide cutting your food into 36754347 pieces. You can’t hide checking the labels of every food product. You can’t hide your obsession with weight loss diets and diet pills. You can’t hide the chunks of hair you lose. You can’t hide your knowledge of the nutritional value of any food product. You can’t hide your hairy face. You can’t hide the packs of laxatives. You can’t hide your thinspo blogs and proana sites. You can’t hide your old jeans you can’t use anymore You can’t hide your bruised knees You can’t hide your cold hands You can’t hide your constipation and bloating. You can’t hide your artificial sweeteners. You can’t hide your shaky handwriting You can’t hide being cold, even in summer

You can’t hide your eating disorder, because everyone else is also affected by your behavior. Recover for yourself, but also for the people around you that see you dying.

[ethrelustful]

Reblog if you’re pro recovery. Whether you’re in it or not

[coldcoffeemakesmesick]

its my birthday in exactly 38 minutes :) have been waiting for whats felt like years. one year older.

[daintydiarist]

If you are concerned that something’s wrong, you should see a doctor immediately. Your health is not something you should ignore, and most of these problems can be reversible if treated in time (although many can be permanent). I hope you will consider recovery before you are faced with medical complications or even death. Eating disorders can do a lot of damage to your body. Recovery is always an option. ❤ I love you lil bean.

heart palpitations

slow or irregular heartbeat (brachycardia)

fast heartbeat (tachycardia)

cold/icy hands and feet

fainting

chest pain, burning or tightness (angina)

bruising very easily

pain in your shoulders, back, neck, or jaw

red spots on the insides of your arms and legs

blue tint to nailbeds, lips, and skin

tingling in your limbs

blood clots

swelling of your ankles, feet, or abdomen

sweating

weakness or dizziness

coughing up white sputum

cramps or pain in your legs

fullness/choking feeling

shortness of breath

yellow looking skin (jaundice)

yellow eyes

pale, bloody or tar-like stool

swollen or tender abdomen

dark/foul smelling urine

skin rashes

diarrhea

persistent nausea

loss of appetite

exhaustion

bruising easily

excessive or constant sweating

sudden weight gain and high cholesterol

low blood sugar (hypoglycemia)

metabolism slows down

pale or foamy/bubbly urine

urinating very often or very rarely

swelling of your legs, ankles, and feet

shortness of breath

exteme fatigue or drowsiness

nausea that doesn’t go away

feeling cold (anemia)

swollen, puffy face

food tastes like metal

your breath smells like ammonia/fish

brown, red, or purple urine

pressure when urinating

fever

chronic constipation

cramping

pain or difficulty when going to the bathroom

bloody or black stools

foul smelling stools

persistent gas

anal hemmorhoids

sudden extreme urge to go to the bathroom

seizures

mental fuzziness/lack of concentration

memory problems

nightmares

anxiety, depression and paranoia

insomnia and other sleep issues

development of binge eating

suicidal thoughts or thoughts of self harm

compulsive behaviors/rituals

hysteria

feeling restless

impaired or worsening vision and hearing

speech difficulty

irregular breathing

physical numbness

mood swings

bleeding from your ears

stomach pain or cramps

pain when pressing down on stomach

burning sensation in stomach

acid reflux

coughing or vomiting blood

ulcer(s)

coughing white or pink mucus

headaches

chills or fever

diarrhea or bloody stools

bloating

sensitivity to cold

nausea and vomiting

loss of menstrual cycle (amenorrhea) can point to infertility

tooth decay, gum disease

swollen glands in neck

excess hair growth all over your body and face (linugo)

dry, blotchy skin

bones easily fracture and break (osteopenia/osteoperosis)

hair loss

brittle nails

painful esophagus can be a sign of rupture

loss of sex drive

erectile dysfunction

thyroid disorders

getting sick very often (immune system)

dehydration

weak muscles

These are not all of the symptoms and medical complications that can occur because of an eating disorder. It’s important to recognize that an eating disorder can lead to death if left untreated. Please take care of yourself. Recovery is always an option, and you deserve to be healthy and happy. Check out my help page for info on where to start with your recovery. Text 741-741 to chat with a crisis counselor.

My backup blog is @thefitnessdiarist!

[a-thinner-mint-blog]

Stay safe loves🍃

[coldcoffeemakesmesick]

me blog turned 1 today!, dang its been a whole year on tumblr...

[coldcoffeemakesmesick]

Can we be friends? You seem nice.

 I would love to be friends ❤️

[coldcoffeemakesmesick]

Hi ❤️just wanted to know how you’re doing! Stay safe luv u! ⭐️

Love you too sweetheart, I'm not too bad. Thanks lovely, you stay safe as well ❤️

[coldcoffeemakesmesick]

a random confession

last year was when my eating disorder actually fueled. 2017 summer, when my sister wasn't home, my mom was working from 5am till 4pm while I was taking care of my sick father. I think the loneliness of not being with my sister or my best friend, who was on vacation, made everything worse. I remember sitting in the balcony, the sun shining, nice weather for my depressing eating disorder thoughts, but I was listening to Lords album. 2 months of her and my eating disorder and every time I hear Liablity, Green Light etc, I get even more depressed. So now I literally cant listen to her music without feeling even worse since I always have the thoughts of that lonely summer.

[coldcoffeemakesmesick]

I can't even remember the last time I ate something while enjoying it and not feeling any guilt or regret. Food is such a burden, it's a never ending thought.

[coldcoffeemakesmesick]

these are one of the nights where you just let your tears stream down your face and wishing that you were just dead.