Reality of FLR, vs. Fantasy
Reality of FLR, vs. Fantasy
The other day I was asked by a follower to share my thoughts on the reality of FLR since most of what is written on the subject is “session” based and centered around play. While I am not currently in one. (still searching) I have been previously.
My other Domme friends and I often make a joke that if people knew how normal our lives where they would be bored. We all have good days and bad days, as we are human first and foremost. We have to pay bills, deal with annoying co-workers, crazy in-laws, debate over what to do tonight, and where to eat, and the normal goings on of moody spouses just like any other couple.
So what then makes it an FLR? Rituals, Routines, Respect, and Obedience!
Daily rituals: I like rituals, be it waking me with pussy worship, or a cup of tea. Kissing my feet when I enter the house after a long day of work. Things like drawing my bath, turning down the bed, asking permission to sleep in the bed, being naked around the home whenever it is possible. Rituals such as weekly inspections, measurements, journal checks. Having to say certain thing when doing certain thing.. e.g. (when putting on a collar, or Chasity cage have them say “Mistress mine, thy will is mine”.)
Routines: While I love the element of surprise and think there should always be spontaneity in a relationship. There are some things that must be constant. Aftercare, the freedom to talk freely about what happened, or what is to be done. Routines related to hygiene can be easily incorporated in the FLR, without it being a “scene” per se. “Come shave me” or “Come here so I can manscape you” are both reinforcing roles, and place, but serve as reminders of who’s the boss. These “rules” must be discussed and mutually agreed upon, within reason. However, I’m not one for discussing them ad nauseum. Some things are just things that make me happy, and I’m not up to negotiating them. Other things are mood dependent, and negotiable. There is however a typically division of labor, and chores. I expect you to keep the house clean to my standards, and I am a huge proponent of the “Subbie-do” list.
Respect: This is paramount in any relationship. The Domme should always respect the sub, and vice versa. Please note that I started with the Domme. So many think that a person’s gift of submission is an excuse to be disrespectful and dismissive. In an FLR that is not so. Yes, you can humiliate, and at times degrade, but it is imperative that the submissive know that his submission is cherished, valued and brings your pleasure. Otherwise, you will end up with a shell of person, and neither of you deriving any pleasure.
Obedience: If I lift my skirt and tell you to kiss my ass at any given time I expect you to do so. Even if it’s Thanksgiving dinner and your family is in the other room. (keep in mind that a respectful domme isn’t going to out you to your family, but would do such a thing discreetly) If we can’t agree to a movie we both want to see then deference should be to my wishes. (again with respect. you should be free to express your wishes).
Obedience and Compliance are two different things. One is done willingly, and the other is done for fear of retribution. I do not want my submissive to fear me. I want them to worship me and work for my happiness and thus earn rewards. I want this to be voluntary, not done out of fear of punishment. Yes, punishments will happen, as will “FUNishments” because no one is perfect, and there is always room for improvement. The key to it all is the mindset of the servitude from both the giver and the receiver.
In a perfect world, here are just some of the “rules” I would ask from the slave in my life, should I be lucky enough to find him… There are many more, but they would be private.
1. Thou shall not cum without permission, and if you are told to eat your cum you will do so willingly, without hesitation.
2. Thou shall wear chastity cage if and when I request it, and if it is possible to do so.
3. Thou shall not ask for release but be appreciative of all intimate contact you are given.
4. Thou shall never take sleeping near me for granted and always ask permission to do so.
5. Thou must always wear some marking of ownership, be it a cage, panties, a collar, or a decorative piece of jewelry.
6. Thou shall always greet me on your knees in the morning. Unless instructed otherwise.
7. Thou shall always be thankful for any release or attention that one is given
8. Thou shall not top from the bottom, but one can always journal their thoughts
9. Thou shall be subjected to weekly inspections for things such as: Measuring, grooming, journaling, cum volume, etc..
10. Thou shall worship whatever I give you to worship, be it my toes, my ass, my pussy, and do so as if it is you last meal.
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