Alright this is hella pathetic but I just need to vent for a second ..Ā So we have been on lockdown since March 11th, and so far we will be till the end of April (as of now).. Iām a waitress, so my workplace and job was among the first to get shut down, obviously.. I am (hopefully, though right not nothing is for sure) starting college this summer (after finally finding something I want to do with my life and something Iām passionate about and now itās all possibly getting ruined and Iām so š), and I am therefore in the middle of planning to move across the country. I was scheduled to move within the next couple of months, however, now Iām completely fucked. Since I am without a job, I have had to crack open my savings to pay for rent and food (for myself and for my cat).. I was already living paycheck to paycheck, and had whatever little saved up to put down as a deposit next month, and now itās all just approaching zero real fast and I donāt know what to do. I honestly for once felt like my life was finally coming together, and then this all happened. I am already dealing with bad anxiety, among other things, and life is just a lot right now. No, I donāt have family that can help me. My family is super small. I have no contact with my dad and my mom is struggling majorly herself and is living in a house that the owner just put up for sale, so sheās possibly going to be without a home in the very near future. I am not asking for anything.. I just really needed to empty my thoughts real quick. I am constantly crying and I donāt know what the fuck is going on in the world or whatās going to happen with me, my family or anyone else right now and itās freaking me out. I feel so hopeless, helpless and pathetic and gofoeofoeo life is just a lot. I donāt know what else to say. I hope yāall are taking care of yourself and your loved ones. Please remember to stay inside and take care. LoveĀ
So yeah long story short basically when Iāve paid for my rent for April my bank is empty and all my savings are bye bye. I donāt know how Iām gonna be able to move to where my future college is or how Iām gonna pay my rent here until I move. So life is very great right now.. very very great. And Iām really not one to complain online and again Iām not asking for help but my head is so filled with thoughts and I just need to let it out because I donāt know what to do.
Update:
Okay here I am again because I felt like I needed to post an update. So my rent was paid a few days ago. I went out and got only a couple of things (like milk, and a bag of cat food) and this is what I have left in my account. You might be thinking āoh that number doesnāt look that badā, but in US Dollars, this is only $37. As I already said, I was in the middle of finally moving to attend college, which right now, is very, very unlikely to happen. This is also all I have left for the rest of the month for.. everything.. including food, both for myself and for my kitty. And given that I have absolutely zero income right now, in a few weeks, and when May comes around, I will have nothing left. I suppose I am going to have to spend the next few weeks figuring out what I am gonna do. Perhaps I can move in with a friend (my mom is allergic to cats, so not an option. I also donāt have any other family around here. And I am not gonna abandon my cat.) I hate being vulnerable online, but I honestly canāt stop crying and stressing about this, and I donāt know what to do. I also know that so many people out there are affected too, which also makes me feel like I shouldnāt complain, even though I am in such deep sh*t myself. I hate asking for help and I hate being vulnerable, but if anyone ends up reading this and wants to help, I wonāt say no. Cause honestly thatās where I am at right now. I think my DMās are open (if I am tumblring correctly, lol..) Otherwise, this is my paypal link. And again.. Please stay inside. Please. Even if this is not affecting you, you going out is affecting others. Please be selfless and responsible. Please stay at home and take care. (P.s..The wording Ā in the screenshot looks a bit weird because I used the Google Translate extension to translate it so it would be in english.. just before people wanna say it looks weird lol.. )
They just extended the lockdown till the end of May š













