Sexual Assault & Power Dynamics in Music
I want to add something personally to this whole sexual assault and power dynamics discussion that the music community is now having - in response to the allegations against owners of the Needle Vinyl Tavern in Edmonton - a venue I have often played.
First I want to voice my support for the people who have come forward on this, and in other similar situations. I know it’s a really difficult thing to do, and you are not alone! You are doing something really great for everyone in our community, even if not everyone realizes it right now. I really think this is how we begin to dismantle some of the systemic power imbalance - imbalance that in many situations has put (particularly but not exclusively) women at a disadvantage, and in a position of vulnerability.
I came forward as a rape survivor a couple of years ago. It was hard to do, and made me feel totally raw, but I also felt empowered, and it helped me to heal. I wrote about it around the time of the Jian Ghomeshi trial and if you’re interested, I’ve re-posted it on my blog: http://colleenbrownmusic.tumblr.com/post/167743707911/jian-ghomeshi-and-sexual-assault-in-the-new
I felt like I said most of what I wanted to say in there, but I keep coming back to this part: 'This is an opportunity for all of us who have felt powerless, objectified, shameful, to confront the source. We do it to ourselves as a society. We unknowingly persist in it with every hateful, critical judgement we make against ourselves and our neighbours. When we all learn to value ourselves and each other on a human level, and to act lovingly towards ourselves and each other, we won’t have to rely on a justice system at all. We will see the warning signs of illness and imbalance in our families, our schools, our workplaces, and we will feel empowered to speak out.’
Fairly idealistic, I know, but it still feels true to me. And just to be clear, this does not take any onus off the offenders and their actions. We are each responsible for our roles.
Now I see that we are starting to get pretty clear in the music community about what we’re against: Sexual Assault. Objectification. Sexism. Homophobia. Inequality. Racism.
This is awesome! I am so proud to live in a time where very brave people are confronting these issues and creating change. It’s slow, and it often feels like there is overwhelming resistance, but people are changing. Our attitudes are changing, and some of our behaviours are changing. I really believe that.
But I also firmly believe that if we want to see long term systemic change that reaches beyond our own community, we need to clearly announce what we are FOR, not just against.
For example:
I recognize that every time I expect/hope for a man to come in and fix a situation in my life, I am giving up my power. I am putting pressure on men generally to fulfil the ‘Knight/Hero' archetype. I am reinforcing the root problem of unrealistic expectations put on men, coupled with my own loss of power and personal integrity.
Therefore I commit to being the hero of my own life.
Or
I recognize that every time I make another person (especially other women) into my competition rather than looking for ways to support her and understand her, I am doing us both a disservice. Likewise if I look at a potential partner as a conquest, or someone to be won over. We can’t know each other on an authentic level if we are chasing rather than being.
Therefore I commit to learning how to be my authentic self, and to love and support myself - so that I’m creating authentic connections with people where we can be totally honest and supportive of each other. Even if that means ending a relationship.
Or
Enthusiastic Consent! YesYesYes!
I commit to clarifying that hazy, potentially hurtful grey-zone of misinterpretation and misunderstanding. Communication is essential.
Or
I recognize that the majority of people in the music industry are still men, and as much as I am committed to being the hero of my life, I also am not superhuman. Strength sometimes means recognizing our own shortcomings. I may require the support of those humans who are in a position of power, and I may need to ask for their help from time to time.
Therefore I support those men who are able to see their privilege and power, in any industry, and who are working to create more equitable situations for women by creating more opportunities for them to succeed and be heard. I choose to align myself with these people, wherever possible, and to stop working with people who don’t share these values.
I also ask for understanding and empathy as I work to hold myself and others more accountable. I want other people to point out ways I am failing, but at the same time, please give me the benefit of the doubt that I WANT to do the right thing. I WANT to be a good person. I really believe that most humans feel the same.
I salute everyone who’s looking for more ways to move us ahead as a society. I am reading a lot about this these days, and I am inspired by the thoughtfulness and creative solutions people are coming up with. I would love to hear what other people are thinking/saying/doing about this, and related subjects. Let’s learn together how to be better, and try to include everyone (including past offenders) as we move towards a more equitable future. That may be incredibly difficult, but together we really are STRONG.
<3
Colleen Brown