College Quotes

[collegequotes]

" for all we know the stars we think are millions of light years away could actually be way closer all because someone forgot to carry the fucking one."

-my little

[collegequotes]

Crack Prof: *shows class a video*

Crack Prof:*comments every second so you cant even hear the video*

[collegequotes]

Crack Prof: *does an impression of a Russian doing an impression of an American*

[collegequotes]

They said they got drunk with a laser beam

Crack Prof

[collegequotes]

he asked me if I wanted a job and I said "damn straight"

Crack Prof

[collegequotes]

Taking a cup of hot coffee from an old man

Crack Prof

[collegequotes]

Anyone a deer whisper-er here?

Crack Prof

[collegequotes]

*sees a deer outside*

Crack Prof: oh look Bambi!

Crack Prof: ...who's got a gun?

[collegequotes]

Crack Prof: *projects his death date*

[collegequotes]

Let's build a damn bridge

Crack Prof

[collegequotes]

Crack Prof: *starts to comment on every ad on a page he pulls up*

[collegequotes]

Which is amazing to run into a 102 year old gay man”

Crack Prof

[collegequotes]

Chad: you know what's really good?

Chad: toasted peanut butter and jelly

Chad: *goes into tangent and explains why it's so good*

[collegequotes]

Chad: *explains how credit cards work*

[collegequotes]

Chad: Dylan let me put this in terms that you might understand, when you fart your fart doesn’t suddenly stop smelling, its your nose getting used to the smell, just like your ears, you get used to certain noises

[collegequotes]

Dylan: I really like to look at the prices of yachts

Chad: My internet shopping rabbit hole is looking into slow cookers

[collegequotes]

Chad: Any last questions, concerns,....fuck yous?

Me: *quietly sitting in the back*

Chad: ...Katie, I feel you've been holding onto a fuck you all semester