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broken hearts are the worst. feeling like i’m in a never ending depression....it’s a perpetual night

I hope things are going better for you!!! :)

things are starting to look better for sure :) thank you!!!

;) you're beautiful! just wanted to say that!

awwwh thanks anon :)

just as things start to look up, it always gets ruined. i can't deal with it anymore

1-99

hahaha alright here you go :)

1:Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? closed!

2:Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? not usually no haha

3:Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? out

4:Have you ever stolen a street sign before? nope!

5:Do you like to use post-it notes? i do yes!

6:Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? yeah haha

7:Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? oh my god neither i can't think about that omg no

8:Do you have freckles? nope

9:Do you always smile for pictures? usually yeah

10:What is your biggest pet peeve? people who never respond to texts/emails/phone calls

11:Do you ever count your steps when you walk? yes haha

14:Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing? sometimes yeah

15:Do you chew your pens and pencils? eww noo

16:How many people have you slept with this week? 1

17:What size is your bed? double!

18:What is your Song of the week? right now i really like new flame by chris brown

19:Is it okay for guys to wear pink? yeah of course!

20:Do you still watch cartoons? not really haha

21:Whats your least favorite movie? um, i can't think of one..i usually like the movies i watch!

22:Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? my backyard hahaha

23:What do you drink with dinner? usually juice

24:What do you dip a chicken nugget in? ketchup or plum sauce yumm

25:What is your favorite food? smart food popcorn ugh

26:What movies could you watch over and over and still love? twilight series, the fault in our stars (LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS MOVIE), the last song, safe haven..basically any nicholas sparks movie haha

28:Were you ever a boy/girl scout? girl scout yeah :P

29:Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? uhh probably not haha

30:When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? a couple of weeks ago actually

31:Can you change the oil on a car? noo :P

32:Ever gotten a speeding ticket? not yet (knock on wood)

33:Ever ran out of gas? no omg (knock on wood again)

34:Favorite kind of sandwich? BLT

35:Best thing to eat for breakfast? cereal!

36:What is your usual bedtime? 10pm hahahaha

37:Are you lazy? not often!

38:When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? a pumpkin haha

39:What is your Chinese astrological sign? pisces

40:How many languages can you speak? 1

41:Do you have any magazine subscriptions? nope

42:Which are better legos or lincoln logs? lego

43:Are you stubborn? yes..very

44:Who is better...Leno or Letterman? uhh i dunno haha

45:Ever watch soap operas? noo

46:Are you afraid of heights? a little

47:Do you sing in the car? sometimes yeah

48:Do you sing in the shower? sometimes

49:Do you dance in the car? sometimes

50:Ever used a gun? a paintball gun haha

51:Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? i cant remember!

52:Do you think musicals are cheesy? noo!

53:Is Christmas stressful? noo!

54:Ever eat a pierogi? yes haha yummmm

55:Favorite type of fruit pie? apple

56:Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? teacher haha

57:Do you believe in ghosts? uhhh sort of...

58:Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? nope :S

59:Take a vitamin daily? yeah

60:Wear slippers? yeah!

61:Wear a bath robe? nope

62:What do you wear to bed? shorts and a tank top haha

63:First concert? hilary duff

64:Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? walmart

65:Nike or Adidas? either

66:Cheetos Or Fritos? neither

67:Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? both!!!!

68:Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? nope

69:Ever take dance lessons? yeah!

70:Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? nope! i'm not picky

71:Can you curl your tongue? yep

72:Ever won a spelling bee? i was a runner up LOL

73:Have you ever cried because you were so happy? yeah!

74:Own any record albums? my dad does

75:Own a record player? my dad has one!

76:Regularly burn incense? noo i don't like the smell

77:Ever been in love? yeah...

78:Who would you like to see in concert? omg there's so many people... hardwell, martin garrix, nick jonas again...just to name a few

79:What was the last concert you saw? bruno mars!

80:Hot tea or cold tea? either!

81:Tea or coffee? either!

82:Sugar or snickerdoodles? uhhh what haha

83:Can you swim well? yeah!

84:Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? yep

85:Are you patient? sometimes..haha

86:DJ or band, at a wedding? dj

87:Ever won a contest? no :(

88:Ever have plastic surgery? nope

89:Which are better black or green olives? uhh not a huuge fan of olives

90:Can you knit or crochet? i used to be able to crochet

91:Best room for a fireplace? family/living room

92:Do you want to get married? i do yeah

93:If married, how long have you been married? not married

95:Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? LOL UH sometimes..... :P

96:Do you have kids? nope

97:Do you want kids? yeah!

98:Whats your favorite color? blue!

99:Do you miss anyone right now? yes...i miss someone a lot right now

Also tell me about whats going on in your life! You seem really sad atm :( also heres one more question! What is the one thing you want to have in this entire world?

life has literally been a whirlwind right now. it's ridiculous..so many ups and downs lately that it's been tough to handle.. school has been ridiculously hard and stressful, so much shit going on with my life and relationships. if there's one thing i want to have in the world right now, is for a second chance with the person i'm in love with... i screwed up and all i want is another chance to make things right again..it honestly kills me not being given another chance

apparently some of my followers want to get to know me so here's a bunch of questions i'll answer!

1)Last thing you drank? cranberry lemonade 2)Last phone call? to my house haha 3)Last text? to my friend jason 4)Last song? begin again by knife party 5) Last time you cried? wednesday..aha...

6)Have dated someone twice? nope 7) Have been cheated on? sadly yeah 8)Have ever kissed someone and regretted it afterwards? yes 9) Have you ever lost someone special? yeah..many people. sadly.. 10)Have you ever been depressed? well yeah lol i have depression

11) Have you ever gotten so drunk you’ve thrown up? nope 12-14)List your three favorite colors: bright blue, turquoise, green haha 15)Have you made a new friend since 1/1/15? yeah!

16)Have you ever fallen out of love? nope 17)Have you ever laughed until you cried? yeah hahaha 18)Have you ever met someone who has changed you? yup 19)True friends? yess 20)Have you ever found out someone has lied to your face? yup.

21)Have you ever kissed someone on your Facebook list? yup 22)How many friends do you have on Facebook? 605 23)Do you have any pets? no :( 24)Would you change your name given the chance? yeah probably 25)What did you do for your last birthday party? i actually can't even remember..

26)What time did you wake up today? 6:30am, had to go to work 27) What were you doing at 12:00am this previous evening? sleeping! 28)Name something you can’t wait for: so many things. the science formal, my cousins to come and visit, escapade music festival this summer, finishing this year of uni.. omg 29)When was the last time you saw your mother? like 15 mins ago haha 30)Name one thing you would change about your life if given the opportunity: to be rid of these stupid mental disorders that consume me

31)What music are you listening to right now? begin again by knife party stillll 32)Have you ever spoken to a Tom? yes haha 33)What’s getting on your nerves right now? i could go on for days....a lot tbh 34)Your most viewed webpage? facebook haha 35)Do you have a nickname? i do yes

36)Your relationship status as of right now; i wish i knew myself.. 37)Your zodiac sign; pisces 38)Your elementary school; st james 39)Your middle school; holy trinity 40)Your high school: same^

41)What’s your hair color? natural hair colour is brown, but right now i dyed it red with a bit of purple in there 42) How long is your hair? shoulder length 43)What’s your height? 5 foot 7 44)Are you currently crushing on anyone? yes ugh 45)What do you like about yourself? i'm not really sure to be honest.. i guess i like my eyes..haha.

46)Do you have any tattoos? nooo i wish though ugh 47)Are you right or left handed? right 48)Your very first piercing; ears 49)Your first best friend; i think her name was melanie 50)First sport you joined; soccer pretty sure

51)First vacation area; florida 52)First pair of trainers; i have no idea 53-57)Right now, you’re *drinking*; nothing Eating; i'm chewing gum if that counts Watching; nothing yet, will be watching one tree hill shortly

Listening to; knife party About to; print my notes for class tomorrow and then watch netlix 58)Are you waiting for anything? yes. for an answer. :/ 59)Do you want kids? yup! 60)Do you want to get married? yesss

61)What is your dream career? to be a pharmacist 62)Lips or eyes? eyes 63)Hugs or kisses? i can't pick. i love both :( 64)Short or tall? tall 65)Younger or older relationship partner? older or same age

66)Romantic or spontaneous partner? romantic but also spontaneous 67)Flat stomachs or nice arms? tbh doesn't matter. nice arms are always nice though :P 68)Outgoing or shy partner? not too outgoing. 69)Hookup or relationship? relationship. 70)Troublemaker or hesitant partner? an even balance

71)Have you ever kissed a stranger? yes. -_- 72)Have you ever drank hard liquor? yuup 73)Do you have glasses or contacts? glasses 74)Have you ever had sex on the first date? haha no 75)Have you ever deliberately broken someone’s heart? no. it's happened to me and i would never wish that feeling upon someone else

76)Have you ever been arrested? nope 77)Have you ever turned someone down? no 78)Have you ever cried over someone’s death? yes 79)Have you ever fallen in love with a friend? yeah 80)Do you believe in yourself? not really..

81)What about miracles? uh, not really no 82)And love at first sight? yeah sure why not. 83)And Heaven? meh. i guess.. 84)Kisses? yesss 85)How do you view gay rights? totally support it. love is love, no matter the gender. i love gay people, they're probably the nicest people i've ever met tbh. i have gay friends as well and i love 'em to bits :)

reblog one and ill pick the ones I want you to answer!

I reblogged one! has some random/unusual questions :P i'll find another and reblog it too if you want!

Questions not usually asked

1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?

2: Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?

3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?

4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before?

5: Do you like to use post-it notes?

6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?

7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?

8: Do you have freckles?

9: Do you always smile for pictures?

10: What is your biggest pet peeve?

11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk?

14: Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing?

15: Do you chew your pens and pencils?

16: How many people have you slept with this week?

17: What size is your bed?

18: What is your Song of the week?

19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink?

20: Do you still watch cartoons?

21: Whats your least favorite movie?

22: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?

23: What do you drink with dinner?

24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in?

25: What is your favorite food?

26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love?

28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout?

29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?

30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?

31: Can you change the oil on a car?

32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket?

33: Ever ran out of gas?

34: Favorite kind of sandwich?

35: Best thing to eat for breakfast?

36: What is your usual bedtime?

37: Are you lazy?

38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?

39: What is your Chinese astrological sign?

40: How many languages can you speak?

41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions?

42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs?

43: Are you stubborn?

44: Who is better...Leno or Letterman?

45: Ever watch soap operas?

46: Are you afraid of heights?

47: Do you sing in the car?

48: Do you sing in the shower?

49: Do you dance in the car?

50: Ever used a gun?

51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

52: Do you think musicals are cheesy?

53: Is Christmas stressful?

54: Ever eat a pierogi?

55: Favorite type of fruit pie?

56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

57: Do you believe in ghosts?

58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

59: Take a vitamin daily?

60: Wear slippers?

61: Wear a bath robe?

62: What do you wear to bed?

63: First concert?

64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

65: Nike or Adidas?

66: Cheetos Or Fritos?

67: Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?

69: Ever take dance lessons?

70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

71: Can you curl your tongue?

72: Ever won a spelling bee?

73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

74: Own any record albums?

75: Own a record player?

76: Regularly burn incense?

77: Ever been in love?

78: Who would you like to see in concert?

79: What was the last concert you saw?

80: Hot tea or cold tea?

81: Tea or coffee?

82: Sugar or snickerdoodles?

83: Can you swim well?

84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

85: Are you patient?

86: DJ or band, at a wedding?

87: Ever won a contest?

88: Ever have plastic surgery?

89: Which are better black or green olives?

90: Can you knit or crochet?

91: Best room for a fireplace?

92: Do you want to get married?

93: If married, how long have you been married?

95: Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?

96: Do you have kids?

97: Do you want kids?

98: Whats your favorite color?

99: Do you miss anyone right now?

Bombard my inbox!

You should do one of those 100 question things.

send me questions and i'll answer them!

i hate how much i fuck everything up. i honestly can't live this fucking mess anymore

so fucking frustrated with myself and everything i just want to run away and be alone for a long, long time

wow just as things are starting to get better i always find some way to fuck things up. i actually give up i'm such a fucking idiot

thenotsosilentone

Things would be easier if I weren't around

I really hope that you are doing okay and you feel better

thanks anon..i wish i could say i am feeling better but im really not :/

all that consumes my mind these days is how to kill myself. thats all i want to do. but apparently i fail at everything because my attempt the other day failed too. i'm a fucking failure at life and i hate myself so much.

literally fucking hate getting replaced. everybody i get close to always ends up replacing me with someone else. i cant deal with it anymore. i wish those pills got to me the other day. fuck this life

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