colporteur. @colporteur - Tumblr Blog

oessa

the textures of australia / google earth

smallreptile

hypersensuality-deactivated2017

saintjoan

— margaret atwood, excerpt of circe/mud poems

humansofnewyork

“I thought when I came to New York it was going to be this huge change of scenery and that I could be whoever I want to be. I thought there’d always be a plan, or an event, and that I’d never feel alone, and that I’d be very ‘fabulous’ — for lack of a better word. ‘Carrie Bradshaw-esque,’ so to speak. But in reality, I still spend a lot of time alone. I think it’s because I’m afraid of being a burden on those around me. What if I’m not fun enough? What if the parts of me that are sad and complaining outweigh the parts of me that are good? Will I be wasting other people’s time? And when I do spend time with other people, I’m afraid to demand a certain level of kindness and respect. Because maybe that will make me even more of a burden. So I don’t reach out to other people very much. I spend a lot of time alone. But then I still get mad when I look on Snapchat and see people hanging out without me. But I’m trying to change my thinking. I’m not allowed to feel left out if I’m not making an effort. I’m not the protagonist of reality. I can’t expect good relationships to happen just because I exist.”