this is how we roll

colton slim. 20. Howdy, y'all! I'm Colton Slim, the son of Alameda Slim and a junior at Auradon State University! I don't yodel or hypnotize nobody, but I can pluck a banjo like it's nobody's business. Auradon's a little too city for me most times but everyone here's a peach and all the food is incredible so I'm not complaining! Not the best at school but not too shabby on the football team and always looking to make more pals!

[coltonslim]

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Emery: You know we're all dumb. There's things I don't or can't understand either! Everyone has their thing they don't get. So you're not alone, colty. I don't think of it as your fault and I'm not upset with you about anything, so I hope that might make you feel better?

Emery: I don't know! I'm an actress and my friends are all pranksters! It didn't seem that extreme to me! Just like a little test to see what happens.. But I guess I do feel a lot. And all of those feelings are confusing because I'm mad at him and I don't want to be. I liked him again and I didn't want to. And I got my feelings hurt again except this time it's all my fault it happened. 😣 Okay, thank you, Colt, but if you ever feel like she needs to know more then... you have my permission! No that's not normal! You're just super sad right now. It should get better after you talk to her! And she forgives you! Yes, I do! I was so embarrassed when everything happened the first time. It was all public they all saw me get all super giddy when I thought he liked me and then like a few hours later it was obvi he liked /her/. And people still bring it up like it wasn't one of the worst days of my life. Like it was just some funny joke or a silly thing that happened. I don't want to know how they'd react if they found out I did something stupid again!

Colton: It doesn't but thanks.

Colton: Testing people is always extreme, Miss Emery. We ain't lab rats, and even them little critters don't deserve to be tested. It's cause you felt a lot though and there's no shame in that. And your feelings do what they want even if and maybe especially not if it's what you want. I don't think anyone ever needs to know the Oakley bit so thanks for that but it's a safe secret with me. And if she doesn't forgive me then what do I do? Well, if something happens so people find out, we can just pretend they're wrong. Last time you didn't have me to go through it with and I can swear up and down we were actually together and that whoever says otherwise is just plain wrong. You'll see, it won't be so bad, I promise.

[coltonslim]

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Emery: Well, I just want you to know that I don't think of you that way and that you are one of the few people I would've trusted with this. Maybe... you don't ACTUALLY know, but you can guess from a lot of their actions. And it feels... easier than asking outright and making him think I like him still and getting things awkward. You're a really good friend to me too and even though things didn't go the way I wished they would've, it's no one's "fault". I don't blame you. Sometimes we all make mistakes and I forgive you.

Emery: I don't know if I'd say I'm in love! I just got butterflies sometimes when he would say super nice things about me or when he'd say I'm pretty or something. But I understand, if you do want to tell her you can tell her however much you want to. It feels awful lying to the people you care a lot about, I know that now. and I don't want him to think of you that way either. I don't like people thinking you're not a good friend or person. I'll tell him the full truth too and just hope that neither of them would want to tell Oakley. And ... if they do ... I'll just hide

Colton: I never thought of me that way neither, but now I can't see it none other way. S'nice of you to say, though. See, you wouldn't be "forgiving" me if it wasn't my fault, I know enough to know that's how that works.

Colton: I would! I'm no expert on the feeling but we went to some real extremes, Emery, and I don't think you woulda gone so far if you didn't feel so much. Thanks, I will, but I promise not to tell her about the Oakley bit. I won't never tell no one bout that. It's weird, I woulda cared not even a month ago bout being seen as a good friend or person cause I always tried to be, but now I just... don't. I don't care much bout nothing. Is that normal? You don't gotta hide from nobody. If he ever finds out, we'll deal with it one way or another.

[coltonslim]

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Emery: Noo you just have such a big heart it speaks louder than your brain sometimes. I wish asking could also be easy. It's just... I don't know. I know he'd say he doesn't feel that way. And that would just hurt. But it would've been a million times better than having you also hurt and lacey j too. You shouldn't have to feel bad about me because we don't actually have feelings for each other. If we did then that'd be bad. You're not a bad person.

Emery: No he doesn't and I really don't ever want him to know. I just think he'd think I'm crazy and wouldn't ever talk to me again. She does deserve that.. as long as she doesn't find out why! Because he'd definitely find out and that would just be even more embarrassing than everything that happened before. We can say you were helping me method act or something? I don't know... I kind of want to tell Chucky too because I ran out on him during movie night and saying we were doing date things was hard enough.

Colton: That's real nice of you to say, Em, but I think we both know it's not true. And hey, you don't REALLY know what someone would say if you don't ask, do you? You can guess or think you'd know, but there's only one real way to know. I do have feelings for you though. Kind feelings. You're a good friend and I let you down.

Colton: But you're not crazy! You're a girl in love and that's just how love makes you feel sometimes. I promise I'd never tell anyone why we did what we did, but I also can't promise that, if I tell her the truth, I'll say it's because we were "method acting". First of all, I don't even know what method ating IS, and second of all, I think she's owed as much truth as we can give her. Not that I think I'll be able to tell her for a while. I don't want to force myself into her life when she's not ready for me. You can just tell Chucky we broke up because I cheated if you want, I promise it won't hurt my feelings if people think about me like that, so long as it's not Lacey Jean thinking about me like that.

[coltonslim]

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Emery: I thought it would be super easy too. And you're not stupid, colty. Relationship stuff is just confusing sometimes. I thought it wouldn't be but I was super wrong. And I was also dumb for thinking this would make Oakley confess he liked me. I guess he just never did in the first place. You're not a bad person because a bad person doesn't feel sad or upset when something like this happens. You just didn't know.

Emery: You cheated on me but we're fake dating so it doesn't actually upset me. I'm just upset about how everything turned out for both of us! If we were really dating then yes, I would be super angry. I don't even know how we could do that. I mean... do we just tell everyone it was fake? That would be so bad if they found out. They'd say we're liars and then everyone would hate us! Maybe if you just give her some time then she'll be okay with you talking to her again and you can just tell her you didn't know how relationship stuff works and tell her to give you a list of what to do! So that way you both super know

Colton: No, I am. I never thought I was afore, no matter how many people told me that I was, but I am if I really thought it was going to work out there. You're not dumb, Em. You're hopeful, and hope is the least dumb thing in the world. Maybe you could just ask him the next time you wonder bout that though? I dunno, seems a lil easier. But I don't feel bad about cheating on you, I only feel bad that Lacey Jean hates me now. Doesn't that still make me some sort of bad person?

Colton: Yeah, but he doesn't know we were fake dating, does he? Or did you tell him? I don't think we need to tell everyone, or even most people, but I want to tell Lacey Jean the truth. She deserves to know that I didn't two time nobody, doesn't she? I'd be waiting for forever for her to cool down, and I would, but even if I did, if all I had to say was "I didn't know how relationship stuff works, my bad", she'd still think I was a cheater and not a good person to be in love with! Is that you saying you won't tell her if I ask you to? You don't even have to tell her why it was a fake relationship if you're afraid it'll get back to Oakley!

[coltonslim]

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Emery: Yeah, I guess it doesn't really matter anymore. I'm sorry I didn't explain it well enough and that I got us into this crazy stupid mess. I'm super sorry about you and lacey jean. I think it's really sweet that you could've had a cute love story with her but you can't now. People think you don't care because if you do the girlfriend/boyfriend thing with other people then it might've been fake or just so you can get kisses or something. So maybe she thinks it was just for the kissing? Because bad people lie about that stuff sometimes.

Emery: It's not your fault, colt! A lot of things went wrong. And it's just making me even more upset because Oakley is mad I'm not angry at you. It's so stupid! Ohhhh I thought the no magic thing would help- I'm sorry. Maybe... just write the song and show it to her? Or have someone else sing it to her! I'm so sorry :( How can I help?

Colton: It's not your fault, it's mine. I shoulda known I was too stupid to help you with it but it sounded easy and fun and I thought I could, and I was dumb for thinking things with Lacey Jean would be as perfect as it felt like they'd be. I got kisses and more from her so fast, why would I keep lying if that's what I was doing? That doesn't make any sense! And I'm not a bad person, am I?

Colton: If I really cheated on you though, shouldn't you be angry at me? Or am I not understanding that right either? What no magic thing? And no, I don't wanna show anyone else the songs, and I don't want to force her to see me if she doesn't want to. I don't know if you can help. I mean, I'd ask you to message her and explain everything but I don't even know if she'd believe you.

[coltonslim]

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Emery: I thought that WAS what I was telling you. That's what I said, you can't do the same things you do with your boyfriend as other people. It's exclusive that's why people want it. I don't know who made the rules it's just what what everyone does when you like someone. You /can/ kiss other people even if you're not boyfriend/girlfriend but when you become official then you /can't/ do it with other people. I didnt see think it'd get so confusing for you, I thought I could help you understand! Well she thinks you don't actually care about her because you did girlfriend things with me AND with her when you're only supposed to do them with her.

Emery: It's okay, Colty, you're still learning. It's not your fault. I shouldn't have done this anyway it got so hard and confusing and it didn't even work! And no you being yelled at doesn't make me feel any better because you're being yelled at because of me when you just really really liked this girl. Even if you can't sing you can still sing to her! girls like that when you're trying! you have to try for her and prove to her that you like her dont give up!! talk to her anyway!!

Colton: Well yeah, you did say that boyfriends and girlfriends can't do the same stuff they do with anyone else, and I followed that rule! I followed it real good! I didn't do any of the same stuff with you as I did with anyone else, Lacey Jean included, and I did stuff with her that I've never done with anybody, ever! Maybe we should've written out a list of stuff that wasn't allowed, I don't know, but it's too late to think about that now. I didn't understand and even if I had, all that understanding would've gone out the window once Lacey Jean and I started doing what we did. I don't know how she could think I don't care about her though. We spent all our time together since the first time we kissed and we were gonna live together! Why would I have done that if I didn't care?

Colton: Maybe it would've worked if you'd chosen someone who understood a lil better, I'm sorry, Em. I hate to think I ruined it for you just cause I didn't understand. And I mean I DON'T sing, not that I can't sing -- my pa's singing hypnotized cows and just in case mine hypnotizes people, I don't do it. I want to try for her but I also don't want her to yell at me, or to look at her and see the hate in her eyes again. Feels like I was falling in love with someone who's gone now.

[coltonslim]

TEXT 💔 SLIMS

Colton: Your little brother done messed around and got his heart broken, and I feel like a moron. When did life and love and feelings and all that junk get so complicated?

[coltonslim]

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Emery: It's just that we can't do the same exact date things you can't date, kiss, or have sexy times, or have cute personal times with anyone else whether they're the same 'actions' or different ones because that's JUST for the girlfriend. And I'm supposed to be your girlfriend so you weren't supposed to do that with Lacey J. That's why Oakley got super angry and Lacey too because she also thinks you cheated on her because she thought were only supposed to do all of that stuff with just her. They think you were acting like you had two girlfriends and that's super bad if you didn't tell either of them about the other first and get approval to having another girlfriend! Breaking up isn't actually breaking anything! I would never hurt you or want anyone else to hurt you either, colty. It just means that we can't be boyfriend and girlfriend anymore. Or... since we actually weren't we just have to tell people that we aren't anymore. And you don't really deserve anything bad because you didn't do it on purpose! You should apologize to Lacey J and just say you didn't know you weren't allowed to do those things so she can take you back!! Then hopefully she'll tell you the things she doesn't want you to do so you won't do them you'll be perfectly happy and kissy together?

Emery: My heart hurts because I don't know what to do anymore. Oakley still has his girlfriend and even after being jelly about you and me he didn't do anything! And then the ultimate bad thing happened and instead of like racing over to me to make sure I'm okay he just yells at you and still listens to his girlfriend more! I just don't get it. And thank you for wanting to help but I don't think there's much that can help. I think I'm just going to eat ice cream and watching musicals all night. 😔 Awwww Colty!!! You were falling in love with her!! That's the love feelings I was talking about!! Just go and try to tell her you're sorry and that you care about her more than anything! Maybe maybe..... sing her the songs you were making?

Colton: Well, hold on now, you never told me that! I've kissed and had sexy times with tons fo people that I wasn't boyfriend girlfriend with, no one ever said that was something you couldn't do with other people! Who decided that you're only supposed to do stuff with one person anyway without telling everybody in the world about it?! That doesn't make any sense! And even if that is the rule, you and I never did anything! This is too confusing to follow, fake or real, boyfriend or not, it's all just words and I can't follow it. Apologize for WHAT?! What did I even DO?! I'm sorry, I know you're explaning, but it also just doesn't make sense. I don't think we're ever going to be able to go back to how it was, she turned on me like... like I don't know. I've never seen the happy heart feelings go out of someone's eyes so fast and get replaced by the hate like that before. And she doesn't even want me to talk to her anymore.

Colton: I'd offer to help but I obviously I don't know how to. I gotta say though, if everyone's mad at me for acting like I have two girlfriends, why do you want Oakley to act like that? Wouldn't that just make him a bad guy like me now? If it makes you feel better, he REALLY dug into me, and it hurt like crazy, but I'm sorry he didn't do worse. Yeah, well, none of that matters now. I don't sing but it's more than that. She doesn't want to see me ever again and if she thinks it's because I lied to her about how I feel about her, then I can't even blame her.

[coltonslim]

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Emery: I told you boyfriend and girlfriend stuff is exclusive! So that means you can't do that same stuff with other people. kissing and sexy time things are JUST for your significant other. That's why Oakley yelled at you and said you were cheating. I wish you would've told me that you were doing that with other people because then I would've told you that we can't. It's bad right now to do any of that. I don't know what we're supposed to do now though. After someone cheats you're supposed to break up.

Emery: I'm sorry your heart hurts. Mine does too. The person you were doing kissy stuff with did you like them a lot?

Colton: I know you did, and I listened to you! I didn't do ANYTHING that you and I did with Lacey Jean, and she and I didn't do anything that you and I do! She and I didn't go out for ice cream or post any pictures on Instaroyal, you and I don't make out or have sex in the stables or talk about moving in together! And yeah, I kissed and had LOTS of sexy times with Lacey Jean but she IS significant so I didn't break that rule either! I'm just so confused still, I didn't cheat! I didn't do anything wrong but not only did Oakley yell at me and Lacey Jean start hating me out of nowhere for Lord knows what, but now YOU'RE telling me I did a bad thing too when I'm already the saddest I've ever been. What does breaking up mean? Like, breaking the person who cheated? Cause I don't think I deserve that!

Colton: It does? I'm sorry, why does yours hurt too? I want to help your ailing heart if I can! And yeah, of course I did! I liked her more than a lot! I didn't know I could like one person more than I liked everyone else but I was starting to, and I missed her as soon as I walked away every time, and I wrote songs about her, and I was going to move into her dorm and she was going to help me in school and I was going to help her keep smiling and the sight of her set my heart galloping and I think maybe I was starting to have real deep scary feelings and I thought she did too but now she hates me and I don't know how to tell her not to because none of this makes sense.

[coltonslim]

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Emery: COLT WHAT ARE YOU DOING!???!

Emery: OAKLEY THINKS YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME!!!

[a few hours later]

Colton: Sorry I didn't see this earlier, Em, I was at a party! I kinda got that he thought that, seeing as he just yelled at me for it in front of everyone. I'm not even sure what he's talking bout, though? You and I aren't even playing a game right now, how could I be cheating?

Colton: He just seemed real mad at me for being your boyfriend, and he wasn't the only one. I got kicked ouuta a party for it! And then... and then I got my heart stomped on like a cigarette butt for it and I still don't know why. I thought you said boyfriends and girlfriends are supposed to be a good thing, not something that would get my head yelled off and my heart yanked out of me, so why is this even happening?

[coltonslim]

TEXT 🤠 COLCEY

Lacey J: Yay! No need to bring anything, we already have everything we need over here, except for you ofc! Hmm true, I guess you could just move into my room then? I sleep so much better on you than by myself anyway, so why not! Wow, you are just THEE cutest boy in the world and I'm so lucky to know you. You're easily one of my favorite PEOPLE in the world 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 NOW HURRY UP AND GET OVER HERE SO I CAN KISS YOU AND LISTEN TO YOUR HEART!

Colton: I SLEEP BETTER WITH YOU TOO SO YAY LET'S DO IT! YOU'RE MY FAVORITE PERSON TOO, AND YOU GOT IT, LACEY JEAN, I'M ON MY WAY! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠

[coltonslim]

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Lacey J: I’d love to hear your heart, so when you come over to help set up, I’ll do that! That would be so cool if that happened! We should test that out by getting together ever more than we already do! I’m not THAT itty bitty but I do like getting lifted up and kissed by you so I guess I can let that slide!

Colton: Goodie good, I'm on my way now, Lacey Jean! Do you want me to bring anything? Cake? Ice cream? Macaroni and cheese? I like that, I'll test that, even if I'm not sure HOW we can be together more often than we are unless I move in to your room or transfer all my classes to yours, cept I'm not smart enough to be in those classes! You're itty bitty enough to hear my heart when we hug and for me to kiss your head when I do and I love it so much, it's one of my favorite things in the world.

[coltonslim]

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Lacey J: Really? That’s so cute! It would be so great if we were psychically connected so you’d be able to know just how much I want to be with you all the time but it’s probably more likely that it just means we should do something today. We are still prepping for the party but it’ll go a lot quicker if you did come help! You can be the muscle AND help us reach all the tall things!

Colton: Really really! It's going badum badum badum but even faster! Like badumbadumbadum! You should put your little ear against my heart and hear it yourself! Maybe the more we're physically together the more psychically together we'll be! So yeah, let's party prep! I love being the tall one, and not just because you're so itty bitty even though you are, and so liftable, and so kissable!

[coltonslim]

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Lacey J: How is it POSSIBLE that I’ve seen you every day this week and still miss you so much rn!!! 🥺

Colton: Aww shucks, Lacey Jean, you sure know what to say to make a man's heart pitter patter like a galloping steed! I miss you too, so maybe we're psychically connected by now, or maybe it just means we oughta do something today too! Unless you and your lady friends are busy prepping for the party tomorrow but even if you are, I'd love to help!

[coltonslim]

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Emery: because! when you're a boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other then you get to do special exclusive things with just them! like kissing and sexy things and also like just being super comfortable and loving them and everything they do!! ohh but you can't just say yes if you don't want to! because then you'll have to do all those things when you don't want to. and speaking from experience because that's what Oakley did to me a long time ago, it's not fun being told 'i like you! let's date!' when they dont mean it. not like actually belonging to other people but just emotionally belonging to someone else! hmm i used to! i don't anymore. it's supposed to make you super happy! like happier than any other friend or person in the world has made you happy! and you get little butterflies in your tummy~ you're actually probably the closest I've ever had too 😭 because even though it's fake we BOTH know it. YEAH!! I think he liked it a lot!!! I just WIIISH I could try it with him at least once!

Colton: You can do that kinda stuff with anybody though! Or at least, anyone who says they want to do it with you, so I still don't get it but that's all good. I don't understand some things some times and that's just how it is in my funky little mind. Huh, well, if Oakley did that to you, how do you like him? It doesn't seem like a nice thing to do and I never figured you'd like the bad boys. So your emotions would all belong to someone else? I thought your emotions were supposed to belong to you! And also how do you know that one particular person doesn't just make you happier because they're prettier and smarter and cooler and sweeter and more interesting than anyone else though? Maybe you will get to try that with him, you never know! I could give you tips on how to do it if you want but the main tip I really got for you is no teeth!

[coltonslim]

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Lacey J: You could just say the most special? I think that’s what you meant, right? Hdjdjsj thank you 😊 I think it’s totally normal and now I’m trying to decide if you’re more missable or kissable too. I think you’re just a LITTLE bit more kissable because I miss you but I especially miss kissing you. Okay good! You’d play me a song on your banjo? God you’re so cute! Great! 😬 I’m a vegetarian so maybe we can just do the cake, ice cream, macaroni and cheese, and bread? I like dessert mostly, so cake and ice cream will be perfect for me. We can get a piñata shaped like spongebob! I hate him!

Colton: That's darn sure what I meant, Most Special Lacey Jean! You're mighty welcome 😊 I don't think I've ever wanted to see somebody so much right after leaving them as much as I wanted to see you which is why I wanted to see if it was normal but since it is, YAY! I especially miss kissing you too! It might just be the first thing I do the next time I see you in person even. Course I'd play you a song on my banjo! I'd say I'd serenade you but I don't sing so you'd just have to trust it was a song I wrote bout you because I wrote it right after we hung out in the stables. Stop calling me cute, it makes you even cuter and if you're too cute, it makes my heart hurt for some reason! Oh, okay, that works for me! Lots of desserts would be awesome! And I feel absolutely nothing towards Spongebob so let's do it!

[coltonslim]

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Lacey J: It is a word but it's not what you're trying to say. But you're right, it doesn't matter since I know what you mean! 😲 That's so cute, so are you!! Well obviously not since we both clearly want to see each other again. We could do one of those things too then! I kind of want your hands mostly free so no banjo playing today but What are your favorite foods? A birthday party for two people would be so fun! We could bake a cake and wear party hats and everything!

Colton: Gotcha! What word DOES mean specialist the way I meant it? Just so I can remember it for you? It's not as cute as you! I'm actually trying to think now whether you're more missable or kissable and it's a tough call! You're real real good at the kissing but I've also wanted to see you since I had to leave you yesterday! Is that normal? My hands want to be free whenever you're around too, so that works for me! I can play you a banjo song some other time. Coincidentally, one of my favorite foods is cake! I also like mac n cheese, ice cream, all kinds of bread, steak, and lobster mac n cheese. What about you? And yeah! Oh, we could have a pinata! But not one shaped like a donkey, that makes me plum sad.