If it's not baroque

𝓛𝓪𝓬𝓮𝔂 𝓙 “Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light; I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.”

[laceyjean]

TEXT 🤠 COLCEY

Colton: Goodie good, I'm on my way now, Lacey Jean! Do you want me to bring anything? Cake? Ice cream? Macaroni and cheese? I like that, I'll test that, even if I'm not sure HOW we can be together more often than we are unless I move in to your room or transfer all my classes to yours, cept I'm not smart enough to be in those classes! You're itty bitty enough to hear my heart when we hug and for me to kiss your head when I do and I love it so much, it's one of my favorite things in the world.

Lacey J: Yay! No need to bring anything, we already have everything we need over here, except for you ofc! Hmm true, I guess you could just move into my room then? I sleep so much better on you than by myself anyway, so why not! Wow, you are just THEE cutest boy in the world and I'm so lucky to know you. You're easily one of my favorite PEOPLE in the world 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 NOW HURRY UP AND GET OVER HERE SO I CAN KISS YOU AND LISTEN TO YOUR HEART!

[laceyjean]

TEXT 🤠 COLCEY

Colton: Really really! It's going badum badum badum but even faster! Like badumbadumbadum! You should put your little ear against my heart and hear it yourself! Maybe the more we're physically together the more psychically together we'll be! So yeah, let's party prep! I love being the tall one, and not just because you're so itty bitty even though you are, and so liftable, and so kissable!

Lacey J: I’d love to hear your heart, so when you come over to help set up, I’ll do that! That would be so cool if that happened! We should test that out by getting together ever more than we already do! I’m not THAT itty bitty but I do like getting lifted up and kissed by you so I guess I can let that slide!

[laceyjean]

TEXT 🤠 COLCEY

Colton: Aww shucks, Lacey Jean, you sure know what to say to make a man's heart pitter patter like a galloping steed! I miss you too, so maybe we're psychically connected by now, or maybe it just means we oughta do something today too! Unless you and your lady friends are busy prepping for the party tomorrow but even if you are, I'd love to help!

Lacey J: Really? That’s so cute! It would be so great if we were psychically connected so you’d be able to know just how much I want to be with you all the time but it’s probably more likely that it just means we should do something today. We are still prepping for the party but it’ll go a lot quicker if you did come help! You can be the muscle AND help us reach all the tall things!

[laceyjean]

TEXT 🤠 COLCEY

Lacey J: How is it POSSIBLE that I’ve seen you every day this week and still miss you so much rn!!! 🥺

[laceyjean]

TEXT 🤠 COLCEY

Colton: Gotcha! What word DOES mean specialist the way I meant it? Just so I can remember it for you? It's not as cute as you! I'm actually trying to think now whether you're more missable or kissable and it's a tough call! You're real real good at the kissing but I've also wanted to see you since I had to leave you yesterday! Is that normal? My hands want to be free whenever you're around too, so that works for me! I can play you a banjo song some other time. Coincidentally, one of my favorite foods is cake! I also like mac n cheese, ice cream, all kinds of bread, steak, and lobster mac n cheese. What about you? And yeah! Oh, we could have a pinata! But not one shaped like a donkey, that makes me plum sad.

Lacey J: You could just say the most special? I think that’s what you meant, right? Hdjdjsj thank you 😊 I think it’s totally normal and now I’m trying to decide if you’re more missable or kissable too. I think you’re just a LITTLE bit more kissable because I miss you but I especially miss kissing you. Okay good! You’d play me a song on your banjo? God you’re so cute! Great! 😬 I’m a vegetarian so maybe we can just do the cake, ice cream, macaroni and cheese, and bread? I like dessert mostly, so cake and ice cream will be perfect for me. We can get a piñata shaped like spongebob! I hate him!

[laceyjean]

TEXT 🤠 COLCEY

Colton: Course you are! You're the specialist! Is that a word? Doesn't matter, cause it's true. And yeah, really! You're as missable as you are kissable, ma'am, which is a REAL REAL high amount. I know we just saw each other but that doesn't mean we can't wanna see each other again right away, does it? I've celebrated being alive lots of times, usually by just finding all my favorite foods or playing the banjo all day. A birthday could be fun though! Reckon it's allowed to throw a birthday party for two people?

Lacey J: It is a word but it's not what you're trying to say. But you're right, it doesn't matter since I know what you mean! 😲 That's so cute, so are you!! Well obviously not since we both clearly want to see each other again. We could do one of those things too then! I kind of want your hands mostly free so no banjo playing today but What are your favorite foods? A birthday party for two people would be so fun! We could bake a cake and wear party hats and everything!

[laceyjean]

TEXT 🤠 COLCEY

Colton: I could, but a good friend of mine once told me that if someone's special to you, you oughta call them a name nobody else does, so I'm trying to find that for you. And thank the lord almighty, cause I was already missing you! What do you wanna do? You can decide! How do you celebrate being alive, usually? I wanna do what you do.

Lacey J: I'M special to you? And REALLY?! I was missing you too but I thought it would've been like WEIRD to say since it feels like I just saw you! I don't know! I don't really celebrate being alive? Like outside of my birthday, I guess? Have YOU ever celebrated being alive before?

[laceyjean]

TEXT 🤠 COLCEY

Colton: Howdy, lil lady! You reckon you'd be free to hang out sometime soon? I'm in the mood to celebrate being alive and who better to celebrate with than the gal who saved me!

Colton: Shoot, you don't like being called "lil lady"! Let's just pretend I called you something way better than that then so that you'll say yes to seeing me!

Lacey J: You could just call me Lacey J, you know? Like everyone else in the world. But sure. I’d love to hang out and celebrate you still being alive!

[laceyjean]

Text 🥰 Loucey

Louise: I DON'T KNOW! IF IT MADE THE DICK EXTRA BOMB, I CAN SEE WHY YOU'D LEAD WITH THAT OVER THE ALMOST MURDER THING! OH GEEZ YOU'RE LIVING A LIFE STRAIGHT OUT OF WATTPAD HONESTLY I LOVE THAT FOR YOU! I WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN GOOD AT GIVING CPR, I HAVEN'T DONE THAT IN FOREVER. AND YAY! I DON'T THINK THERE'S ANYTHING YOU *SHOULD* WANT IT TO MEAN. IT'S JUST WHAT YOU *DO* WANT. CAN YOU PICTURE LIKE... DATING HIM????

Louise: I wasn't going to say anything but I was DEFINITELY sniffing a little Essence of Hypocrite in the air.

Louise: Right?! I hope it's going to be awesome but also I KNOW it will be awesome just because of how much I really, really like them. It's both of our first times so I know the sex probably won't be like... amazing. But I'm sure I'll still be in awe. Although NOW I'M WISHING WE'D GOTTEN A PLACE WITH STABLES, WOW.

Lacey J: NO BECAUSE I'M NOT AN ALMOST MURDERER AND I WOULD'VE NEVER STOPPED SCREAMING! THE DICK WAS BOMB ON IT'S OWN. I AM! I COULDN'T STOP THINKING THAT! MAN DROPPED SOME REAL ZINGERS ON ME PRE SEX! I WAS SO WORRIED I WAS GOING TO GIVE HIM BRAIN DAMAGE, I HAVEN'T TRIED IT LITERALLY SINCE THE BEGINNING OF HIGH SCHOOL! GOD I DON'T KNOW! KIND OF? HE'S SO SWEET AND KIND OF FUN TO BE AROUND EVEN WHEN I'M NOT HAVING SEX WITH HIM, AND HE'S NEVER OFFENDED WHEN I'M BEING LIKE TRADEMARK ME SO I'M SURE HE'D BE SUCH A NICE PERSON TO BE WITH. BUT LIKE???? WHAT IF HE CAN'T PICTURE DATING ME?! I DON'T WANT TO PICTURE IT ALONE!

Lacey J: Due to the new rule, I have no idea what you're talking about. Sorry!

Lacey J: The sex is definitely not going to be amazing since it'll be your first time, but you two liking each other and having a perfect location will make that such an irrelevant sidenote if it all goes the way you want it to. Especially if you do it more than once, then it'll eventually get there! STABLES AREN'T THAT GOOD WHEN YOU AREN'T FUCKING COLTON! I'm still a little worried I may have traumatized the horses 🥺

[laceyjean]

Text 🥰 Loucey

Louise: OH OKAY NEVER MIND THEN DISREGARD HOW EXCITED I SOUNDED ABOUT HIM ALMOST DYING DURING, I WAS MISSING THE CONTEXT. YOU SAVED HIS LIFE?! UGH THAT'S SO HOT, LACEY J! YOU'RE *THE* FEMINIST ICON! I'M GOING TO WRITE AN ESSAY ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE FOR FEMINISM SOMEDAY, I SWEAR. DOING THAT RIGHT AFTER HAS TO MEAN SOMETHING, TOTALLY! DO YOU WANT IT TO MEAN SOMETHING? WHAT DO YOU WANT IT TO MEAN!?

Louise: Also, we are talking about Colton Slim, right?

Louise: It's okay, I know you didn't mean to, but you got some and I'm so excited for you! And thanks!! We found this nice big house all to ourselves and it has a reading nook and a nice fireplace and a HUGE bed and it's just slightly cottage-ish and I love it! It's the perfect setting!

Lacey J: ALSO IF I ALMOST MURDERED A GUY DURING SEX AND THEN TEXTED YOU AFTER, I WOULD'VE LEAD WITH THAT FIRST. I DID! I HAD TO DO CPR AND EVERYTHING! OMG YOU SO WILL, YOU'RE DEF GOING TO GET THE BESTIE EXCLUSIVE. FUCK I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW. LIKE YEAH I GUESS I DO? I DO REALLY LIKE HIM, BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT IT TO MEAN. WHAT SHOULD I WANT IT TO MEAN?

Lacey J: Yeah. From now on we have to pretend everything I said about Lyssa liking Scooter was positive, k?

Lacey J: Okay good! ☺ Oh my god really? That sounds so cute and such a perfect place to have sex for the first time! That's so great!

[laceyjean]

Text 🥰 Loucey

Louise: WOW! I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST THE STUFF OF ROMANCE NOVELS, THAT'S AMAZING. HE NEARLY DIED?! LIKE, WHILE HAVING SEX?! THAT'S EVEN HOTTER! WHAT DID YOU DO, HOLD A KNIFE TO HIS THROAT? SUFFOCATE HIM A LITTLE? ADFLKSJ HOT! YOU LIKE EACH OTHER?! OH MY GOSH WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!

Louise: I did, and they accepted! We just decided to do it the week before school starts which is this week, and I have an AirBnb for us all ready this weekend but YOU BEAT ME TO IT. I'm so jealous but also so excited for you!

Lacey J: SAME! IT WAS SO GREAT! OMG WHAT? NO. THAT'S NOT MY THING! HE ALMOST DIED WHEN WE WERE RIDING HORSES BECAUSE HE FLEW OFF INTO THE RIVER AND I HAD TO SAVE HIM! LIKE REAL ROMANCE NOVEL SHIT EXCEPT I GOT TO BE THE HERO! BECAUSE I'M A FUCKING FEMINIST ICON! WE LIKE EACH OTHER!! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT MEANS! WE WERE TOO BUSY HAVING STUPID HOT SEX! BUT DOING THAT RIGHT AFTER MEANS IT HAS TO MEAN SOMETHING RIGHT?

Lacey J: Omg omg omg! I didn't mean to beat you to it! But yay! That's so exciting! Where are you gonna go?

[laceyjean]

Text 🥰 Loucey

Louise: IN THE STABLES?! LIKE WITH THE HORSES?! THAT'S SO ROMANTIC. DID YOU DO IT IN THE HAY BALES?! LIKE IN ALL OF THE ROMANCE BOOKS?

Louise: No way! I'm happy for you but I'm also trying not to be insanely jealous that you got to do sexy stuff again before I even lost my vcard!

Lacey J: YES! THOSE STABLES! I KNOW! IT LIKE REALLY WAS!! IT WAS A WHOLE THING! LIKE LITERALLY HE NEARLY DIED! THERE WAS SCREAMING! AND HE WAS SO FUCKING SWEET! AND THEN I KISSED HIM! AND THEN HE TOLD ME HE LIKES ME AND I LIKE HIM TOO! AND THEN WE DID IT! NOT IN THE HAY BALES BECAUSE THEY HURT, ROMANCE BOOKS ARE LIARS! BUT NEAR THEM!

Lacey J: You haven't lost it yet!? What? Didn't you make him a full invitation thing??

[laceyjean]

Text 🥰 Loucey

Louise: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? OR RATHER WHO?! AND WHEN?! AND HOW WAS IT?! WE ARE TALKING ABOUT SEX HERE, RIGHT?

Louise: I'm not going to jump to conclusions based on that hint, I'm going to let you say it, but if it's who I think I am, OH MY GOSH. I mean, it'll be an OH MY GOSH no matter who but OH MY GOSH.

Lacey J: IT WAS TODAY! IN THE STABLES! AND IT WAS REALLY GOOD?? LIKE SHOCKINGLY INSANELY SO!! AND YEAH IT WAS SEX!

Lacey J: No! You have to guess!!

[laceyjean]

Text 🥰 Loucey

Lacey J: ASK ME WHAT I'VE DONE! OR RATHER WHO! I'D HAVE SENT YOU CHAINMAIL AS A HINT BUT THERE WEIRDLY AREN'T ANY COWBOY THEMED DIRTY MEMES !!!

[coltonslim]

SAVE A HORSE, RIDE A COWBOY → COLCEY

TAGGING → Colton Slim & Lacey J  L'Horloge ( @laceyjean )

TIMELINE → September 1, 2021

SETTING → The ASU stables

SUMMARY → The adrenaline starts pumping during a simple horseback riding lesson when the student, Colton, goes headfirst into a river, leaving his teacher, Lacey J, to try and make sure he doesn’t die. They get wet, will they get wild too?

Keep reading

[laceyjean]

↳instaroyal @layceejay uploaded a new photo.

She’s beauty, she’s grace, she’ll stomp you in the face. 

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[laceyjean]

TEXT 🐰COLCEYJ

Colton: That's prolly what I mean but you understood, you're so smart! ANYONE can say yee haw, ma'am, don't feel limited by your lack of cowboydom. You can ride a horse real good and you've got a heart o gold under that cool exterior, both of which are very cowboy things!

Lacey J: Well yeah. Thanks for the compliments I guess but I don’t feel limited, I just don’t WANT to! Like what does yee haw even mean!