LOST AND INSECURE

[chordoverstret-deactivated20240]

Jack Falahee photographed by Catherine Powell for NKD Magazine

[coltxngibbins]

ron-lyandlee:

“Yeah, that’s fair,” Ron murmured. His heart squeezed as he thought of all the catching up he’d never get the chance to do with his biological parents, with his little siblings that had been taken while he had miraculously pulled through. He shook the thoughts away and focused on the man laying on his lap. “What is this, Colt? I know you don’t… normally do stuff like this, and labels can be dumb, but- I don’t know.”

Nodding his head, Colton decided that it was time to shut up about the situation, knowing how the other male felt about his biological parents and the fire that managed to take them away from him so drastically. Snapping out of his thoughts -- his angry thoughts at the world for hurting such a young and happy man that he’s managed to fall for. “I --- shit,” he muttered before pushing himself up, trying to get into the serious mood once again. “Can’t --- say that I do shit like this either but -- fuck, I like you and I really -- don’t want you fuckin’ anyone else.”

[maurawrites]

3.10

[coltxngibbins]

ron-lyandlee:

Ron frowned protectively at the wording. The way he saw it, Cheryl and her parents had signed a lifelong contract when they had adopted Colton. Not just a temporary one that expired when Colton turned eighteen. Not wanting to push it, though, he hummed and smiled down at Colton. “Yeah, they did. I might be biased- I really fucking like you.”

Letting out a breath at the frown, Colton realized his wording of the situation. “I meant, they knew they they raised me well enough to live on my own despite how young I was and being eighteen, I was an adult. I still keep in touch, just not as much as I do with my dad and mom and Mateo. I have a lot of catching up to do, you know?” He muttered with a shrug before pressing her lips together. “Why thank you, I really fucking like you, too.”

[coltxngibbins]

ron-lyandlee:

Another reason Ron was so fond of Colton—he understood being adopted. Although the stories and reasons were still vastly different, it was nice to have it in common with someone other than Jasmine and Brayson. He ran his fingers through Colton’s hair leisurely. “I think Lucy knows your mom. She talks about her sometimes.” Shifting his head so he could kiss the top of Colton’s head, he murmured, “Any particular reason you don’t talk to them?”

Moving around on the couch, he managed to lay down just enough so his head could meet Ron’s lap, looking up at the male with a small smile on his lips. “Maybe. I mean my mom’s really up and down, during high school she was kind of a shithead but she grew up pretty fast and all that shit, not going to bore you with all the details of my shitty past,” he said with a chuckle before shrugging. “I keep in touch on holidays but that’s about it. I grew up knowing I was adopted, Cheryl was more than happy to let my mom and dad visit, and when I was eighteen I got accepted to UCLA so I left home and Cheryl and her husband just kind of knew they their task was done. They raised me well, though.”

[coltxngibbins]

ron-lyandlee:

“Hey! I’m— okay, a dork, but I was raised by a couple that one half of them has a bunch of Lord of the Rings tattoos and the other one is an author that sings showtunes. Kind of grew up immersed in nerd.” Ron grinned, turning his head to catch Colton’s lips in a sweet kiss. “Thanks.”

“I repeat, dork,” he muttered with a chuckle before leaning into the kiss, but pulling away before he managed to get too involved, still refusing to jump into anything too quickly with the male. “You’re welcome,” he whispered before resting his head back on Ron’s shoulder to relax. “You parents seem cooler than mine, though. My dad’s a mechanic that acts all tough when really he probably watching cartoons in his ‘lone time and my mom’s an overexcited artist that goes on rants about paintings. My adoptive parents were pretty normal, but I didn’t talk to them much.”

[coltxngibbins]

ron-lyandlee:

( @coltxngibbins )

“It’s, uh… it’s still rough. I’m working on it, but- did you like it?” Ron bit his lip, scratching at the back of his neck nervously. “You don’t have to lie and say you did to spare my ego,” Ron continued, gently putting his guitar down. He guarded the instrument with his life and didn’t allow a single scratch on it.

“You are such a dork,” the male muttered with a chuckle and he leaned over, pressing sweet kisses against the others cheek repeatedly. “It was amazing, and if you’d like me to keep telling you that daily, I don’t mind,” he muttered before looking over at Ron with bright and happy eyes. “I’m serious, though. It was good, I liked it.”

[coltxngibbins]

ron-lyandlee:

Ron laughed again, more sincere this time. “Yeah,” he nodded, not even trying to hide his wide smile. He was just glad Colton couldn’t hear his heart fluttering at the sight of that small smile. “Yeah. Sure.” He backed up his wheelchair so that Colton could get out, scratching the back of his neck.

“Thank you,” he said in a small voice but allowing the smile to stay on his face, allowing the male to understand that despite his constant worry, he was still more than joyful about knowing for once he managed to get the guy. Coming out from the bedroom a few moments later, he walked back over to Ron with a shrug. “I don’t really know what will fit, but I grabbed some jogging pants and some old t-shirt that doesn’t fit me anymore --- since you’re smaller.”

[jagvuar]

you're straight?

oh fuck no, god forbid

[coltxngibbins]

ron-lyandlee:

Ron wanted to scream in protest, but he knew Colton had a point. “Okay. Okay,” he stole one last kiss before pulling back with Colton, lips swollen from the kiss. His entire body was alight with excitement and pure joy. If it was possible, he would’ve jumped up from his chair and danced. But he couldn’t, so he laughed breathlessly. “Hey.”

He couldn’t help but let out a chuckle as he saw the excitement move onto his friend’s face --- or whatever the hell he managed to be at that exact time and location. “Hi,” he muttered back with a small smile forming on his lips before pulling his lower one between his teeth, composing himself to try and get out of making a huge foolish scene. “Are you going to let me get you some dry clothes now?”

[coltxngibbins]

ron-lyandlee:

A needy groan was on the tip of Ron’s lips, and he clutched at Colton as tightly as he could when their lips met. He loved him. He was so achingly sure of it in that moment. He didn’t ever want to stop kissing Colton. He brought a hand to the back of Colton’s neck, moaning.

The moment that Colton heard a moan, he felt his stomach spark with something that he had only felt towards males he was hooking up with, a spark that came when he was happy of feeling wanted. That spark wasn’t something he was going to just go with in the first two seconds of admitting his feelings for his best friend --- not of he wanted to actually make it work. Pulling away, against his body’s disagreement, he took in a deep breath. “Hey ---- hey, we gotta slow down.”

[coltxngibbins]

TEXT || TEO.

Mateo: If something bad happens, you'll be the first to know. I swear.

Colton: Okay, okay, I'll lay off.

Colton: Be careful tonight, yeah?

[coltxngibbins]

ron-lyandlee:

“No,” Ron shook his head. It felt like he had been waiting for this moment for years. Now that they were on the cusp of it, Ron wasn’t about to let Colton out of his sight over something as trivial as clothing. He caught Colton’s hand and pulled him closer. “Kiss me. Please, kiss me.” He whispered. No matter how straight he sat up, he couldn’t reach Colton’s lips like he yearned to. It had to be Colton.

“What do you mean no? Ron, you’re literally dripping water all over the floor and you’re going to get sick,” he muttered, letting a small sigh fall from his lips as he felt the other grab onto his hand, his heart leaping but he refused to show it in his features. “Ron---,” he paused, looking down at the male that was trying so desperately to reach up to him. Sitting back on the couch, he managed to pull the wheelchair as close as he could before finally closing the distance between them, crashing his lips against Ron’s.

[coltxngibbins]

TEXT || TEO.

Mateo: Fuck, you worry a lot.

Colton: I know, sorry.

[coltxngibbins]

ron-lyandlee:

( @coltxngibbins )

It was raining, because of course it was. He was soaked to the skin as he rolled into Colton’s apartment. He couldn’t get a word out. His heart was in this throat, deep eyes screaming vulnerability while he took in the man. He wanted him. God, did he want him. His lips parted but he couldn’t get anything out. He was so desperately afraid of saying the wrong thing.

He stayed silent, unable to even think of happiness although that was what he was supposed to be feeling. Throughout all his years of being openly gay, all his feelings were crushed and moved to a garbage can, usually along with his body. Upon hearing his friend shared the same feelings, he almost felt as though it was a trap --- something triggered by old high school memories. “---You’re fucking soaked. Let me get you some clothes,” he muttered, finally breaking the silence as he got off the couch to move towards his room.

[coltxngibbins]

[ AU ] TEXT [ &] COLTON

Ron: I'm being serious, you dick.

Ron: Do you think I actually tell people about my childhood? About seeing my parents be /killed/? No. I don't. Just you. I've only ever told you, Colton, because I want you.

Ron: Fine. Dismiss it but don't say I didn't fucking try.

Colton: Don't fucking call me a dick.

[ ... ]

Colton: My doors open.

[coltxngibbins]

[ AU ] TEXT [ &] COLTON

[....]

Ron: I like you, too, Colton.

Colton: Bullshit. Have a good night, alright?