A Eurovision Voting Guide
Do you like dramatic draculas with a burning fake piano? Vote Ukraine.
Do you like underrated songs about love? Vote Spain.
Do you like sick Slovenian rapping? Vote Slovenia.
Do you like songs that make you love your significant other so much you would die for them? Vote Lithuania.
Do you like transcending reality like that one meme to become a God? Vote Austria.
Do you love opera, or are you still mad that Il Volo was robbed? Vote Estonia.
Does Alexander Rybak own your ass? Vote Norway.
Do you think Portugal’s done a good job hosting and just like songs with deep meaning? Vote Portugal.
Do you like chasing rainbows? Vote United Kingdom.
Do you like cool songs with Albert Einstein on flute? Vote Serbia.
Do you like songs that make you emotional? Vote Germany.
Do you like really suave underdogs? Vote Albania.
Do you like songs with great messages that inspire freedom? Vote France.
Are you thirsty for Mikolas Josef? Vote Czech Republic.
Do you like songs that ACTUALLY match the theme of the contest? Vote Denmark.
Do you love Australia? Vote Australia.
Do you like Love Love Peace Peace? Vote Finland.
Do you like really good A+ squads? Vote Bulgaria.
Do you like really fun staging and themes or are you just here for the memes? Vote Moldova.
Do you like Benjamin’s sweet moves, or do you just want Petra Mede to host again? Vote Sweden.
Do you like to Viszl á á á á á á á á á t? Vote Hungary.
ARE YOU NOT A TOY (not your toooooooy)? Vote Israel.
Do you like ‘traditional’ American music? Vote the Netherlands.
Do you like “true male friendships?” Vote Ireland.
Do you Yeah Yeah Fire? Vote Cyprus.
Are you in love with Ermal Meta and Fabrizio Moro yet? Even if you aren’t you should still Vote Italy.
I hope I helped. Have fun at war, Europe.
