Hello, fine individual! I’m not sure if you write for Lohen, but if you do, could you do Lohen x female reader where reader gets unexpectedly heavily injured? Thank you so much :)
૮꒰ྀིㅤ❝ while we dance on the edge of the knife! ❞ㅤ꒱ྀིა
𑣲ㅤ m's warningsㅤ ◞ sfw, implied blood mention, injury mention, angst/comfort (more on the fact that lohen becomes a certified crashout when the abyss uses his feelings for you against him), no established relationship, reader is highkey nonchalant at first, reader uses a blade, secretary! reader
𑣲ㅤ m's synopsisㅤ ◞ lohen? in love? oh my word, are you joking or what? the vice captain falling for his stern secretary? the one who refuses to fight him?
𑣲ㅤ m's noteㅤ ◞ rip 2.5k follower event... otw to 5k followers already chat... this was supposed to be a simple headcannon thing until it clicked in my head...
𑣲 characters included: lohen x gn! reader (* wc is around 2k+ i stopped counting)
originally, you became varka's second in command for how responsible you were, and the amount of paperwork you agreed to help jean with while he was gone.
but now that he's back... you tossed it on right back to him, and helped arrange events, and went back to your rightfully elected jobs; at least initially the ones you signed up for anyway.
now finally at the side of jean in preparing the little mini festival made for the return of varka's group, he only decided to call you back in. great, just when you got the only person who was willing to do the paperwork WITH you...
you were his second in command, not one that he asked for, but subconsciously is thankful for. little does he know, varka had assigned you a different mission when you became lohen's right hand general; stop him from going too far, become the limit that stops him from reaching the undescribable insanity he might want to attain.
you... well, you don't really know what to expect. you've been a knight of favonius ever since you were a child, maybe between klee's age and noelle's age was when you started—but you had never ever met anybody named 'lohen'. you've met a few of the people at fifth company, but not enough for any of them to be truly recognizable.
even you at first, were completely in awe of the description your boss was giving to you about the man you were about to work for. adre.... adrenaline-junkie? battle maniac? yet polite, and friendly? could you please pick a struggle?!
you squinted at the blonde man momentarily, "are you sure that's one person, varka? i mean—" sighing as you place the finished stack of paperwork to the side. "you just told me he likes killing for fun, but is very kind, and has a friendly demeanor?"
a raised eyebrow came the blonde man's way as he let out that obnoxiously loud laugh out, "look, (name), i believe in the years we've worked, and me and him working together, you out of everybody in the favonius can actually handle this man."
your face told the grandmaster everything he needed to know; you still didn't get it. "so why do you still let him work here?" — "he isn't a monster. but we need someone who could keep him in check, get it or still no?"
shaking your head, varka sighed again.
"how about we just let you two meet, good?"
. . . ~_~ . . .
"okay, lohen, go ahead and introduce yourself to your new right hand commander!" smiling brightly, the gray-haired man puts both hands on his hips before offering a small smile. "i'm lohen, captain of the fifth company for the favonius."
"woah, is that really his voice?" you thought to yourself silently, he definitely doesn't look the part of insane maniac but hey, don't judge a book by its cover... right?
"hello lohen, i'm (name), previously and unfortunately secretary of the grandmaster, now your secretary. it's nice to meet you." you offered a hand for him to shake, but for him to just offer a wider smile; "oh! this is what you meant, grandmaster?"
before you realized he already summoned his polearm, trying to strike you in the side when you summoned your own weapon, briefly blocking his hit. stepping backwards, he let out a loud laugh, not the kind varka would let out, but the kind you would fear in a battle.
"good, you react fast. does this mean we can spar, or what?" — "i think... i'm good. if you pull that shit again, best believe i won't just be blocking your weapon, sir."
the grandmaster smiling widely again before he brings you both in for a hug, large biceps around both your shoulders before asking, "so what do you think? aren't you two just a perfect match?!"
"no." - "yes!"
you couldn't help but sigh at his enthusiasm, keeping your weapon out, guard up, and awareness to the t as this unexpectedly violent man is now officially your boss, and you become his assistant.
un-fucking-believable.
. . . ~_~ . . .
it was often that your new boss would tease and poke fun at you for being way too 'stuck-up' and 'strict' when in reality you were really just trying to keep him out of trouble.
"you know what? varka's only ever mentioned you to me twice. you and your [h/c] hair, and how responsible you are." but what really gets to him is the fact of how lackluster your reactions end up being.
"...mmh? oh really?" continuing to cut the excess branches off your little bonsai tree gifted by none other than captain jean. god you already missed your old life already, sometimes you wished for all the stacks of paperwork again... lohen has none going on for him.
"yeah really. how about it [h/c]head, is it true?" a small smirk appeared on his face when he sat himself up onto the sides of the table, just adjacent to your little tree.
you tilt your head upwards to connect your gaze with the swirls inside his eyes. "i'd like to say i am." — "show it to me, show me how responsible you are!" before falling over the table, right beside the spot where you had pushed the chair away earlier for interrupting your leg space freedom;
thinking quickly, you had placed a hand on his back, catching him swiftly before he landed on the ground. "...holy—crap, do you do this to varka too?!" placing him back onto the table, and dragging the chair back. "there, if you wanted a seat beside me, you should've just said so."
"hah, like i'd want to be on the same level as you. you are merely mediocre." looking away, lohen refused to admit the red on his face was spreading.
"provoking me will not make me want to spar with you, sir."
hell even the traps he places everywhere you walk, just for you to dodge them every single time?
what kind of beast were you when you actually put an effort into fighting him? shit you might just be hotter than just what you let him see.
so when you step on a small patch of moundy grass and hear a beep? how come you immediately jumped out of the way?! it was mere milliseconds from exploding?! would you just fight him already?!
"how many of these did you place?" brushing dust off of your knees from the dirt that had just exploded everywhere, your boss just looked at you with annoyance. kneeling down to inspect the ground, you try to check how many more mounds there are, yet that wasn't the thing that set off the thoughts that floated in the vice captain's head anymore.
"whh... what? you think i'd be stupid enough to tell you? do you really underestimate me that much?" snapping out of the little trance he was placed under. "...i assure you i would never think lowly of you, sir." — "so why won't you give me a taste of that blade? are you scared?"
summoning his polearm quickly and trying to strike you once more, pressing you further; if you didn't get hurt by his blade- you definitely would get hurt by the explosions caused by the adorable little bombs that were buried under.
that was his thought process until he realized you were already dodging each bomb with precision whilst parrying all his polearm strikes. even when he used his cryo to grow his blade longer to reach your skin, not even a scratch littered your skin.
"c'mon pretty, won't you just give me a chance? give me your full strength? i'll do anything..." a finger tracing up your arm, cold and unsettling, it matched the way he smirked while you sharpened your own blade.
"please quit it, lohen. you are aware now that i'm here to keep you out of trouble, not cause it, right?" — "gosh, but that's boooring!"
coming over to varka briefly since today was an invitation from the man himself, lohen didn't really mind, maybe today would be the fight he'd been begging for for how many years now?
"so, how are they? you like them?" taking a sip of his dandelion wine, varka raised a brow as he investigated the vice captain's expression. "mmh? yeah, 'course i do but... seems like they refuse to fight me. it's so sad, they're so pretty and all when they fend off disgusting abyss creatures. not to mention that little quirk of brow when their weapon hits the enemy just right—have you ever noticed that?!"
the grandmaster gives a nod and a hum to his out-of-the-blue statement, passing it off as probable praise. it wasn't uncommon for lohen to love the way one is when they fight with purpose.
"lohen, are you in love?" — "whaat?? with (name)?"
he never gave a direct answer.
. . . ~_~ . . .
so when you two were (unfortunately) assigned a mission together with a few other troops in order to bring back a well-known thief alive. it wasn't as fun as it would be when you would with others, not when the only things you would hear from the little mosquito in your ear begging to fight you.
but what happens when he gets the fight he wanted in the worst way possible?
"fuck, okay—(name)—sorry, i'm sorry! is that what you wanted to hear?! stop holding back on me, just.... fuckfuckfuck! fight back! hit me! why won't you talk to me?!"
walking up in a cold sweat, a gasp leaves him, enough to startle you on the outside of his tent. conveniently just sitting by the fireplace while keeping watch. opening the tent briefly, poking your head through;
"hey, lohen, are you okay? i heard a ga-" — "i-i'm fine. go back to the shit you were doing."
you sigh as you did as he said, sitting back down on the log. stabbing the rocks and wood used to make the fiery heat that kept you and your soldiers warm.
what the fuck was that dream for?
his breaths were heavy, chest weighing down on him. what was happening? he thought he already got rid of it, why is he feeling it again? what the hell is happening.
fuck, is the abyss really affecting him now, what the hell? it never did that before. so why now?
clutching the upper left of his chest, his heart felt like it was beating out of his own body. why can't it stop—why won't it stop—what's wrong with him?
what is with the ridiculously large fog that plagues his vision excessively now, why can't he stop thinking about that stupid dream,
why was it you?
tears were already falling from his face when he feels his own arms fall weakly on his sides.
you wouldn't leave him too, right? nononono—no, no, you were assigned to stay by his side because he just can't stop himself from getting in trouble. so why wouldn't he stop doing stupid shit?
or... maybe he's too much and you'd leave,
he's never thought like this, what the hell was—
"hey! heyheyhey, lohen, you're good okay, you're fine. breathe, just breathe..." he hadn't even noticed you walking into the tent as you stood by his side of the bed where you let his head lean onto your stomach. a soft hand on his silky head of hair, believe it or not he does take care of his hair very well.
. . . ~_~ . . .
by the time morning hit, you didn't realize that you made the choice of sitting in his makeshift bed, where he laid his head in the crook of your neck. in fact, he had already left by the time you had awoken.
"lo— huh..." rubbing your eyes to properly wake up, stretching a bit. was that all a dream? no definitely not, how would you be in his tent if it was. exiting the large marquee that belonged to your boss, you greeted the knights that had accompanied you both. "have any of you seen where lohen went?"
shaking their heads, you started to think about the places he would've gone in this type of climate. where abyss was on an all-time hi-
he went to go fight some, didn't he.
"please, the five of you please stay here, and watch over the camp, yes?" they saluted at your command and went back to eating the food you had hunted for the previous night.
. . . ~_~ . . .
your shoes crackled the leaves beneath, your weapon out as your guard stayed up. in what direction would he have gone, you followed the familiar 'X' marks he would leave over certain trees to find his way back to camp on different missions, not like he told you personally... but you picked up the little things too.
like the specific way he brushes his hair, keeping the little tuff on the left part of his locks to keep that signature 'lohen, the vice captain of fifth company' look. or how there's only one way he tests his tea; a spoon circling the rim of the cup before tasting the spoon itself.
cough, very necessary behavior to note down.
the more you roamed the forest, the faster the marks started to dwindle, the x spots start to turn into y's, what could be- oh shit.
you started to pick up your pace as scenarios ran through your head, god where the hell are you, lohen?!
you ran past more trees yet it's like that idiot actually stopped slashing every tree in sight, maybe he found a worthy opponent... no, no way, you continued to run before you finally arrived at a concrete castle in the middle of nowhere.
it was foggy, and the smell that lingered in the air definitely was not vanilla. you stepped closer towards the building as quietly as you could, you fidget with your blade with the smallest movements possible, your boots making a small clack sound as you finally entered.
looking around, this seemed as if a place for rituals, symbols, and marks were littered all over the walls that seemed to have been made out of ivory if you could still call it that.
your hand reaches out to briefly brush against the wall of the long hall that seemed to extend forever. dust coating your fingertips, you brushed it off before making your way over to the light at the end of the tunnel. you try to check in on the compass that was set to your camp, yet now it seemed to conveniently stop working.
shit.
you better be here lohen.
. . . ~_~ . . .
when you finally reached it, you didn't know what you were expecting to see, but it definitely wasn't a scowl on your captain's face while he fought. no, you hardly saw him sink into the mere mention of panicking. he's never, ever, never ever shown those kinds of emotions before.
"lohen!" you shouted from across the stadium-like arena, the large abyss monster he had been fighting turned to look at you before turning back to him; only to get hit in the face,
lohen's scowl shrinks when he realizes its you. "(name)?! what the hell are you doing here?!" the sheer fear in his voice echoed in your mind, it wasn't easy getting familiar with the way his tone was basically frowning at you to leave. "no, nonono- fuck, captain, i'm not gonna leave you."
"(name), this is my one command i demand you follow—" you quickly cut him off as you cut through the creature's legs in one go. "no. i... i'm not gonna leave you. i am your secretary, and i will stay by your side," stepping toward the vice captain slowly,
"i will make sure you stay out of trouble," you take the honor of kneeling before him, "i am honored to have become your assistant." keeping a hand on the handle of your blade, you bowed your head.
"pfft... d- do not bow before me. it's not like royalty or anything, okay? just get up, let's get out of here."
that's what you wish would've happened. if only you had taken the chance of when you got to the monster without it noticing; rather than the legs being struck... you completely forgot about their regeneration.
but before the creature was able to land a hit on lohen as he followed behind you, the speed you were able to gain in order to step in front of the monster and stab it right in the neck was magnificent.
magnificent if he hadn't hit you on the side of your stomach.
. . . o_o . . .
you opened your eyes, your body is aching, letting out a small groan at the pain before looking around. pillars, crosses, a sleeping lohen on your arm, and barbara all in one place.
hold on, lohen?
your eyes widened for a moment before you relaxed again, "oh goodie! you're awake, (name)! lohen has been waiting for you, so has jean and varka, but he hasn't left this place since... well, since you got here."
you stared at the grayhead again, you reach out your other arm to touch the softness of his head. unexpectedly, leaning into your touch, you could finally see his face a little better. his... huh...
his eyebags are more defined now.
"barbara, how long was i out for?" — "oh geez, maybe around a week? supposedly six days but you know, its midnight."
oh, god. he's been here everyday? just waiting for you to wake up?
you could see the pink, and purple swirls in his eyes slowly come back to life, "barbara can you st... oh. it's you." his back straightens as he realizes you were the one petting his head.
"hi, captain." — "hm."
...
"you... didn't have to protect me. i just wanted to get you out of there as soon as possible." his voice was unusually soft, the silence only emphasized it more. "it's my job to keep you out of trouble right?"
you could tell he was briefly shocked before shaking his head again. "no, not at the cost of us not being able to argue again."
ah, that's what this is about.
"you can just tell me you're worried, lohen." — "shut up! you risked your life for me when it was unnecessary!"
his eyes squinted at you as if inspecting you for a lie again. "...i'm sorry then, i didn't mean to make you worried." you smiled softly as you winced quietly, trying to move the arm he had fallen asleep on.
"you..." you cut him off as you comment, "gosh, you sleep like a dead man, you know that?" — "you need to be quiet. barbara said you should be getting rest."
yes, all this happened while varka watches by the doorway, "barbara, how about you leave those two alone for now? i believe rosaria just called for you." a wink from the grandmaster was enough for the sister to know what he means. "i guess i must."
˚⟡˖ ࣪By The Sea You Will Find Me˚⟡˖ || jacaerys.velaryon
summary: when word gets out about the brown haired boy that washed up your shores to the iron throne- three dragon riders fly to your seaside village to introduce themselves to your family; one of them in particular catches your eye- lucky for you, you had caught his as well.
word count: 3.4oo+
pairings: jacaerys velaryon x fisherman/smallfolk!reader
a/n: have i finished hotd? no! will i make more chapters? most likely :) are the characters a lil ooc? idk, like i said i didnt finish it
warnings: slight angst | fluff | lucerys lives au! | amnesiac luke au | disabled luke au | flirt jacaerys | incest adjacent (?) | reader is smallfolk and not related to them by blood | but lucerys and reader call each other brother and sister | platonic!lucerys x reader
credit to: @enchanthings for the dividers!
The air in your small sea side cottage was tense.
There was no laughter for today's dinner. No younger siblings running and cheering as you sang songs of salt and sea. There was no chatter about the day either: whether the fish were kind enough to provide you a suitable haul for the market, or if the shells that washed up on the shore would fetch for a good enough price once polished- just lips pressed into thin lines, heads down to avoid offending their betters.
The flames from the fire pit grew low too, as if it knew to snuff out any warmth left behind it's four wall.
It was strange- this whole situation was strange- you were all privy to that fact.
"We only have the fried fish My Queen..."
It took you quite awhile to finally find the courage to speak. You bet you looked like a fool, throat dry and hands far too shaky as you take another sip of your drink; as if enough ale could calm down your nerves and forget this day ever happened, but for your brother Lucerys you endured. Even when everything in you urged you to shrink back and hide away with your sisters upstairs.
"I am sure it is... different from what you are use too. I apologize for sullying your tastebuds."
You could hear screeching over the sounds of crashing waves from outside your window, along with the cries of the goat and sheep your neighbors had kindly offered in the stead of your own, just while your shoulders tense up; all to cement your reality further.
Three bloods of the dragon were sitting in front of you with eyes of amethysts and hair like white gold, while their fire breathing beasts were bathing beneath moonlight at the front of your lawn.
They had arrived unannounced- scaring half the island to death while waking up the other- when they landed their mounts to shore.
Only one of them didn't have the striking Valyrian features their kin were known for, a man right about your age, seated to the left of the Queen- his mother- but he remained princely all the same.
You could see the resemblance between him and the boy you had taken in as one of your own. Though he was much more handsome, with a stronger jaw and poutier lips, leaving your face hot whenever your eyes would meet.
Right now, he was looking right at you- dissecting you fully. And you tried to avoid his gaze as effectively as you could.
The Gods, whether the old ones or the new, could strike you down right now and you would thank them for it. Just so this awkwardness would end.
"It is quite alright." Queen Rhaenyra waved a hand in the air as if to dismiss your words. "We are grateful that you have invited us in."
Despite the kindness of her tone, no food touched her lips. The consort and the Prince did not touch their plates either.
It didn't escape your notice but you weren't about to point it out.
You blamed it on the nerves. You preferred your head to be attached to your neck after all.
Your brother Lucerys had a different thought all together.
"You should eat what my sister made for you... She worked hard to prepare it."
Underneath the table you wanted to kick his shin. He had a tongue on him. Always had beneath his sweetness, him using it was rare, yes, but he had it in him to do so. But when he wrapped his fingers around yours in comfort, to remind you that he was there, you couldn't bring yourself to follow through.
Sweet boy. Always looking out for you despite you being older, even in the face of dragons. Even in the face of his blood.
"Do not disrespect our mother by speaking to her with that tone." Jacaerys did not raise his voice, but the firmness in it was clear.
"Do not disrespect my sister by refusing our food."
The crown prince's brows furrowed and he sneered.
"She is not even your blood." he spat the words like fire. Hoping the truth would burn into his younger brother's skull and make him remember. "We are your blood."
Rhaenyra's hand struck the table and the bickering between the two princes stopped.
Since she arrived she had never laid her eyes on her second son's face- fearing she'd wake up and realize it was a dream like most nights after his supposed death- but she wasn't asleep anymore.
This time, she looked at him. This time, he didn't melt away.
Only one tear had escaped her then.
"I apologize, sweet boy." Lucerys bristles at her words, the familiarity in her tone. It was odd hearing the endearment from her lips instead of his sisters. "It is only right we eat what is given. We did not mean to offend."
"I am not offended-" Rhaenyra doesn't wait for you to finish before taking a bite.
"This is ridiculous." Daemon grumbled, picking at it like he had never seen a fish before. Though you would imagine he had never been served a fish this small.
But Jacaerys, ever his mother's son, quickly followed her lead. The king consort was the last to do so.
You had handed them the three largest fish you and Luke had caught a day prior. Doused in every fresh herb you could find from your cupboards.
At least now, you and the rest of your kin would live until dawn.
"It taste like lemons." Jacaery's compliment was hollow, but you took it anyways.
"Thank you M'lord. It 'twas my mother's cooking." a light laugh escaped your lips.
Maybe you could imagine this as a simple dinner with extended family. Maybe then you wouldn't want the earth to open up and swallow you whole.
"You must teach us how then, so when we take my brother back, he will have something to remember you by."
He went straight for it, not giving anyone a moment of respite.
Rhaenyra wince. She was hoping for a more subtle approach. "Jacaerys-"
"No." Lucerys digs his palm into the table to lift himself up, rattling the plates and cups. His mother and brother raised from their seats trying to catch him, eyes drawn with worry- but Lucerys pulls away, choosing you for stability instead.
You sighed at his coldness. Handing him the large staff he used in place of his missing leg.
"You can't take me away from the only family I have ever known as if I am a mere pet that you can pick up as you please!"
"Of course not, that was not what your brother meant at all."
You never thought royalty could be so desperate. You never thought the Queen of the realm would break under the eye of the boy who- not a week before- had slipped into some cow dung, and when he caught you laughing, threw it at your face.
The Queen rambled on and you pitied her for it.
"We would never intend for you to cut ties with them- we could give them land, titles even-" a scoff bellowed out in the corner. "You could even marry her if y-you so wish. I would approve of it, if it means you would stay happy. If you would return home."
The suggestion only seemed to anger him. "I call her sister, and your solution to my fears is to have us wed? This home is of the faith of the seven, do not bear your sins as if they are our own."
Daemon grits his teeth. His sheathed blade, dark sister, peeked through the slits of his cloak. "You are of fire and ash, boy. You might have fucking forgotten that but your blood does not."
Lucerys had not backed down in the slightest, unflinching despite the intimidation. He had never been so brave, at least never in his memories.
"I am of the sea and the salt. A fisherman, not a dragon."
"Mind your tongue," Jacaerys raises his hands in frustration, as if he couldn't believe the words out of his mouth. He to agreed at the ridiculousness of it all. "Or else I'll strap you to Vermax myself and fly into the night."
"I would like to see you try-"
"Enough." you pull Lucerys back and for once the stubborn boy had listen and you praise the Sevens that he did so.
You could feel the stare of his blood brother on your back, a steady presence on your skin, and you wonder to yourself if staring was his favorite past time.
"Clearly, there are a lot of pent up feelings as of now... Maybe we should rest and talk about it once morning comes."
"I say we go with my plan. He will accept his fate soon enough." Jace quietly mouths to his mother.
Rhaenyra squeezes his shoulders gently before shaking her head. "I agree, we should rest." her response was diplomatic and because she was Queen- and their mother, and their wife- they followed.
Daemon had grumbled. Jacaerys had pursed his lips. But they did so anyways.
You, like the proper host you were, had given your guests the biggest room. While the rest of your siblings were cooped up in the smaller one.
"Truly, we are grateful you have allowed us to stay." The Queen's hands were gentle on your free arm, thumb strumming against the roughspun before she retreated into the room for the night.
"D-do you plan on giving me to them?" Lucerys had asked in a shaky breath. Your sister's eyes were blood shot, their arms around him tight in fear that he would leave.
You turn to fully face them, gentle hands ushering them into the other room.
"Father said that blood does not make family." His voice grew louder once you were inside. "He said that he was my father and you my sisters despite it-"
Your hand had found his way to his cheek and it had silenced him mid sentence. "We will discuss this in the morning, do not make your sisters afraid."
At least for tonight, the reminder you still saw him as kin was enough to quiet his doubts and let himself rest.
It was not the most comfortable of sleeping arrangements.
Their snoring, the tight fit atop the bedding, the way their tiny feet and Lucery's stump would dig into your sides, had left you sweaty and restless. Forcing you to slip away from thin sheets and tiptoeing down creaky stairs just to get a fresh breath of air.
"Oh Sevens-" You quickly bit your lip and spun at your heels, trying to stay quiet as you shut the front door, heaving against it.
It was not fresh air that had greeted you, but a large body of scales.
The dinner had been such a mess you had almost forgotten that there were other, more dangerous, beings that neared you.
"Fuck..." You closed your eyes, hand against your chest to steady your breathing. You had never been so close to a dragon before.
"Is that where he gets it from?" A sudden voice asked followed by the sounds of heavy boots hitting wood.
You lifted your eyes to find Jacaerys. Sleep had missed him as well.
"My brother's sudden rudeness... did it come from you?"
You point at yourself, confused. "What are you talking about M'lord?"
He sighs, now at the bottom of the steps. "Forget it... I know better than to blame you."
Jacaerys was closer now, large hands running through his brown locks.
They curled like the waves. You noted the freckles on his skin. The way he was prettier up close.
"We're you about to go outside?" His voice no longer held roughness, with less bite than the one at dinner.
"No," You lied through your teeth. "Just wanted to see if the dragons were asleep which they- um- are. Goods, yes?"
With your hands at your back and your posture stiff, you tried to exude ease- as if dragons were not tales of legend but mere talking points in common conversation.
You wonder if he could hear the way your heart was beating rapidly against your chest. If he had, he was not subtle in his amusement.
"Asleep? Why? If you had caught them in their wake, would you have sung to them until they find their rest?"
"I could have..." You turned your head to look away. Damn him.
"Its alright if they have frightened you." A half-smile was on his lips, more than what you were use too from him. "It is only natural to be frightened."
"I am not afraid-" But when he had reached for the metal loop and your hand had sprung out to take his wrist, it was clear to him that you were.
The rustling from outside had startled you too.
"Hmm?" His smugness rolled out in waves. In this light he looked more boy than man.
"I thought you unafraid?"
You should strike him, wipe his face clean of that grin. He looked similar enough to Luke Lucerys that you think you could get away with it if you claim your sight had been hindered by the dark.
Instead- you remembered yourself. Dropping the offending hand to smoothened out your skirt in a nervous tick. You could feel his breath against the curve of your ear and you shivered, and his dimples deepened.
"If it is fresh air you seek, I should escort you outside." the distance between you grew as he took a step back, palm extending outwards to you. "Take it as an apology for my actions from earlier. The dragons will not harm you in my presence."
A sigh escapes you and you begrudgingly agree, his palm warm against your own.
For a moment, beneath the stars, you forget you are fisher folk and that the man beside you was a dragon prince. Imagining yourself as a girl simply breathing in the ocean breeze rather than what you actually are- a girl trying to find solace from her plights.
The shawl you had brought- which your mother had made long before you were even born and the one your father took inspiration from so Lucerys would have a matched with his girls the week after he had arrived- was tight around your shoulders as you watched the sea from a distance.
"Thank you..." Jacaerys whispers, finally speaking. "For taking care of him..."
Like he had promised the dragons paid no attention to you, even when a few of them had stirred themselves awake, keeping themselves busy by flicking their tails and leaving claw marks into the dirt.
"It was nothing really." you shifted your feet awkwardly at his thanks.
A lull. Then he speaks again.
"You could have turned him away... I'm sure most people would have, especially in his current condition."
"Well, he was sleeping on my father's boat when we had found him so he wasn't easy to ignore. Besides, my father loved to take in strays and I am certain the boy would have found a way to hobble after us if we had left without him."
You smiled at the memory, at the young boy with a damp mop of curls, shivering and sniveling inside your lowly fishing both. He had no memory of who he was. How his leg had gone missing- the only truth he knew of was that his name was Luke and that he was alone.
Pirates, you suggested once. Dragons, your father suggested back.
Many small folk had been made victim to the dance and by then, word had gotten out that its reach had spread to your shores. Your father thought that Luke must have been one of them- whether his boat had got caught by a hungry beast, the wind carrying the scent of the fish nets up into the air and to its senses- or hit by a stray breath of flame.
Unlikely but not wholly impossible.
Back then you had laugh. Dragons were of the air, what dangers did they pose in the sea?
Now, you are certain that he was the one bellied over in laughter.
"What are you smiling for?" Jacaerys asked. You whipped your face at his voice.
"Nothing." You insist. "It's just... if my father were here, I am certain he would find this situation most amusing."
"He was a happy man, your father?"
You nod. "The happiest."
At the corner of your eye, you could see that Jacaerys looked pleased at that fact.
"I am glad... that in the five years he has been gone- he had found his way into a happy home. Trust us, when we say that we will reward you for your efforts."
"We did not take him in for a reward." His eyes were wide, caught off guard by your quickness. You raised your hands up defensively.
"Truthfully, I never thought he was a Lord. Much less a Prince." you continued on, crinkling your nose in a playful jest.
You had given that boy to many clouts in the ear- chores you doubt he was ever expected to do in his time in King's Landing- and had laughed with him and acted without propriety to his true born station.
"Of course not-" his words stumble for a bit before it regained its footing. "I did not mean to imply that you did so, nor did I mean to imply that you held ulterior motives in your heart."
He was trying to be polite. You couldn't help but laugh at that too.
Stretching your arms out, you could feel your body lax before unceremoniously making a bed out of the grass- tired from staying on your feet for far to long.
Supposed you could go back inside and lay in a proper bed with the rest of your siblings- but this day had been stressful and you believed you deserved a moment of calm.
"He got sea sick the first time we took him out fishing." Another laugh escaped your lips, scratchy in its timber and leaving a bitter sweet taste on your tongue. You could feel a tear dip down to your temple before disappearing into your hair. You caught the next one before it could drop.
So many thoughts had filled your head: about your family, about the Targaryens... the little paradise you had made by the shore- but there was nothing you could make sense of.
The Prince tilts his chin down to meet your eyes, gaze focused even as he takes up the empty space of grass beside you. You bet you looked like a fool.
"He hurled all over the nets and we had to cancel the trip short- said he couldn't handle the waves rocking him. To think... that boy may leave us to be the Lord of Driftmark."
Jace had never forgotten the way his brother was at sea. The irony was not lost on both on you.
He rest his head on the grass, hair weaving into its blades in soft motions. He turned his head so he could still look at you as he spoke. "He was the same when he was a boy."
"I can imagine the same green face in fancier robes." you sniffled.
"Oh I'm sure you can." he raised a hand to the sky waving it around as he told tales of youth, of stories between him and a Luke you hadn't meant yet, making a show of it.
"I have always been better at the sword than my brother." he commented after telling you a story of them sparring by the shore. He moved to a more comfortable position, grace measured as his muscles flexed beneath the velvet- catching your eye.
He smirks, satisfied, before continuing. "I hope we could continue to spar once he warms up to me."
"He will M'lord. He is a friendly boy."
It was colder now, the wind had picked up and the sounds of the waves crashing against the rocks had grown louder.
"Are you not cold, My Prince?" The shawl slips off your shoulders so you could offer it.
He rubbed his hands together for some warmth, cupping it around his lips so he could blow in some hot air. "What kind of a prince I would be if I took a young Lady's shawl?"
"A warm one." you retort, throwing half of it over his frame, while the other half remained on yours. A few seconds later the tremble in his lip stop. The wool was not much but it did its job blocking the wind well enough.
"Is it your habit to save Velaryons?" he says breathlessly.
"I hardly call sharing a shawl saving, My Prince."
"I could die from a simple cold." his tone was matter-of-fact. "You very well could be saving me."
A snort rumbled from your throat. Jacaerys didn't seem to be put off by the sound. "We should head back shortly. Morning will arrive sooner in our sleep."
He nestles deeper into the shawl but nods.
"Yes, we probably should."
a/n: yayyy i hope you like it! im thinking of making the next chapter about them exploring the little town luke had grown up in for the past five years rather than cutting it straight to kings landing. what do you guys think about that plan? anyways hearts and reposts will be greatly appreciated!
summary 𓂃 the one where Jason breaks a pen, walks home in the snow, and almost says the thing he's been biting back for fifteen years.
cast 𓂃 Jason Todd and posh dickhead Oliver (irrelevant side character)
tags 𓂃 childhood best friend!jason todd x fem!reader , university au , canon compliant , jealous!jason todd , study group , gotham city , grumpy!jason x sunshine!reader , pre relationship , mutual pining , Jason’s pov , idiots in love , unspoken feelings.
wc 𓂃 2.1k.
— oneshot request ! part two of this series.
Snow.
It's fucking snowing, and Jason Todd is already in a bad mood.
Not because of the snow—Gotham in December is basically a slushy, gray, miserable hellscape regardless of precipitation—but because of him.
That posh dickhead Oliver.
Even the name sounds like wet cardboard. Like someone tried to invent a pretentious trust fund baby in a lab and accidentally created the most punchable face on the Eastern Seaboard.
Jason adjusts his grip on his pen, the cheap plastic creaking under his thumb. The seminar room's fluorescent lights hum overhead, casting everything in that sickly institutional pallor that makes even the most beautiful people look vaguely jaundiced. But somehow, somehow, Oliver still looks like he just stepped out of a J.Crew catalog.
Dark academia aesthetic, Jason thinks derisively, watching Oliver gesture expansively with both hands while explaining something about Keats's odes. The guy probably owns a tweed jacket with elbow patches. Probably drinks Earl Grey from an actual teapot. Probably has a father who plays tennis and a mother who calls brunch "luncheon."
Jason's own fingers are stained with ink and old calluses. His leather jacket is draped over the back of his chair, revealing the faded henley underneath — something he'd bought secondhand three years ago and hadn't bothered replacing. His combat boots have salt stains climbing up the sides from last week's patrol in the Bowery.
He looks like he walked into the wrong building.
And Oliver keeps. Touching. You.
It's subtle. A hand on your shoulder when you laugh at something. Fingertips brushing your wrist when you reach for the same annotated anthology. Leaning in closer than necessary to point at a line of poetry, his breath warm against your temple.
Jason's jaw aches. He's clenching it so hard his molars might crack.
"Shelley's 'Ode to the West Wind' is obviously about revolution," you're saying now, your voice bright and familiar and so goddamn warm that Jason wants to wrap it around himself like a blanket. "It's not just about autumn — it's about death and rebirth. About tearing everything down so something better can grow."
You tuck a piece of hair behind your ear, and Jason watches the motion like it's sacred. He's watched you do that a thousand times. A million. Since you were both nine years old and you sat next to him in Mrs. Albright's fourth-grade classroom, your ponytail askew and a pencil tucked behind your ear, asking him if he wanted to share your crayons because his were all broken.
"Your crayons are sad," you'd said, already pushing half the box toward him. "These are the good ones. The ones that don't have paper. They feel nicer."
He'd stared at you like you were insane. No one shared with the kid from the bad part of town. No one offered him anything without wanting something back.
But you just smiled at him — that ridiculous, sunshine smile — and went back to coloring your tree purple because "green is boring, Jay, don't you want to live in a world where trees can be purple?"
Jay. That was the first time anyone had ever called him that.
He'd colored his tree orange that day. Just to be contrary.
You'd laughed.
He'd felt something crack open in his chest that he didn't have a name for yet.
"Interesting interpretation," Oliver says now, and his voice is smooth. Educated. The kind of voice that's never had to shout to be heard over gunfire or police sirens. "But I think Shelley's more concerned with the personal than the political. The west wind as a metaphor for creative inspiration, not violent upheaval."
He looks at you when he says it. Like he's inviting you into a secret.
Jason's pen snaps.
The sound is sharp in the quiet seminar room. Heads turn. Professor Chen glances up from her notes, eyebrows raised.
"Everything alright, Mr. Todd?"
"Fine," Jason grits out, and he pulls another pen from his jacket pocket. This one's metal. Harder to break. "Pen was cheap."
You're looking at him now. You've got that expression on your face — the one you always get when you're worried about him but don't want to make a thing of it. Your forehead creases slightly. Your lips part.
He looks away before you can ask.
Don't. Don't ask. Don't make me say it out loud.
Oliver is still talking. Something about Keats's "l on a Grecian Urn" now. "Beauty is truth, truth beauty" — that is all you know on earth, and all you need to know. Oliver thinks it's about transcendence. Jason thinks it's about how beauty and truth are both violent, both painful, both things you can't hold onto no matter how hard you try.
He thinks about the urn. Frozen. Perfect. Preserved forever in a moment that never actually happened.
He thinks about how he came back wrong. How his hands don't feel like his hands anymore. How sometimes he looks in the mirror and sees a ghost wearing Jason Todd's face.
You've never treated him like a ghost.
You were there when his mom — Catherine, not Sheila, never Sheila — got sick. You used to sneak him food from your own kitchen because you knew the Todds didn't always have enough. You sat with him in the hospital waiting room when he was ten and terrified and trying not to cry.
You were there when Willis went to prison. When the social workers came. When Catherine died.
You were the one who found him in the cemetery afterward, sitting on the wet grass in the rain, and you didn't say anything. You just sat down next to him and put your head on his shoulder.
"I'm cold," you'd whispered.
"So go home," he'd said, his voice wrecked.
"Not without you."
You were there when Bruce took him in. You met Batman when you were twelve years old and you didn't even flinch. You just looked Bruce Wayne in the eye and said, "You take care of him. Or I'll find you."
Bruce had been impressed. Jason had been embarrassed.
He'd also been — something. Something warm and terrifying and too big for his chest.
The study group ends eventually. Forty-five minutes of Shelley and Keats and Byron, forty-five minutes of Oliver finding excuses to touch you, forty-five minutes of Jason fantasizing about putting his fist through a wall.
Or Oliver's face. Oliver's face works too.
You pack up your things slowly. Jason shoves his notebook into his bag with more force than necessary, the spiral binding catching on a loose thread.
"Same time next week?" Oliver asks, and he's looking at you. Only at you. Like none of the other students are there. Like he isn't even there.
"Sounds good," you say, and your voice is casual. Friendly. Oblivious.
Jason wants to shake you.
He's flirting with you. He's been flirting with you for three weeks. How do you not see it? How do you not—
"Great." Oliver smiles. It's a nice smile. Perfect teeth. Probably had braces. Probably never been punched in the mouth in his entire privileged life.
Jason shoulders his bag and starts walking. He doesn't wait for you.
He knows you'll follow anyway. You always do.
The snow is coming down harder now, fat white flakes dissolving against the asphalt. The campus paths are empty — everyone else has gone inside, or gone home, or gone somewhere that isn't here.
Jason walks fast. Too fast. His boots crunch against the frozen ground, and his breath clouds in front of him, and his thoughts are a hurricane of everything he can't say.
I've known you since we were nine.
I watched you cry at my mother's funeral.
I died, and I came back, and you were the first person I wanted to see.
You're the only person who makes me feel like I'm still human.
And I can't—
"Jason!"
Your voice cuts through the snow. He hears your footsteps hurrying to catch up, the familiar rhythm of your stride. He doesn't slow down.
"Jason, wait up! What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Bullshit."
He grits his teeth. You always call him on his bullshit. You always have.
You fall into step beside him, slightly out of breath. Your coat is unzipped — you always forget to zip it — and your scarf is trailing behind you like a banner. Your cheeks are pink from the cold, and there's snow in your hair, and you look so alive that it makes something in his chest ache.
"Is it patrol? Did Bruce say something? Was it—"
"It's nothing," he says again, and his voice comes out harsher than he meant. "Drop it."
You don't drop it. When do you ever?
Your hand catches his elbow, and he stops walking because he can't not stop. Not when you're touching him. Not when your fingers are curled around his arm like you're anchoring him.
"Jay. Come on. Talk to me."
Jay. No one else calls him that. No one else is allowed.
He stares at the snow on the ground. At the footprints they've left behind. At the way your shadow overlaps with his on the white pavement.
"Do you like him?" The words come out before he can stop them. Low. Rough. Almost angry.
You blink. "Who?"
He won't repeat it. He can't. Saying it once was bad enough.
"Forget it." He pulls his arm away from your grip — gently, as gently as he can manage when everything inside him is screaming — and shoves his hands into his jacket pockets.
The rest of the walk is silent.
He ends up at your apartment because you live closer, and because Jason can't bring himself to go home to his own cold, empty space. Your apartment is small and cluttered and warm, full of mismatched furniture and stacks of books and fairy lights that you never turn off because "they make everything feel softer, Jason, don't you think?"
He thinks they make everything feel like a lie.
But he doesn't say that. He just sits on your couch and watches you put on a kettle, and he tries very hard not to think about Oliver's hand on your shoulder.
You make tea — chamomile, because you always make chamomile when he's upset — and you sit down next to him, close enough that your knees almost touch.
"Okay," you say softly. "Start talking."
"Nothing to talk about."
"Jason Peter Todd."
He flinches. You only use the middle name when you're serious.
"I'm not going to let you sit there and pretend everything's fine when you broke a pen with your bare hand in the middle of a seminar," you continue. "That was terrifying. And also kind of hot. But mostly terrifying."
He snorts — and sighs — despite himself. "You're impossible."
"You've known me for fifteen years. You should be used to it by now."
Fifteen years. God.
Fifteen years of you. Fifteen years of sunshine and stubbornness and never, ever letting him push you away.
Because god knows he’s tried… and failed. Terribly. You’re like a living, walking, breathing boomerang.
He looks at you now — really looks — and you're watching him with those eyes that see too much. That have always seen too much. You know about his parents. About the streets. About Robin and the Joker and the crowbar and the grave.
You know about the pit. About the rage. About the things he's done since he came back, the blood on his hands, the monsters he's become.
And you're still here.
You're still here.
"He likes you," Jason says finally. The words scrape against his throat like broken glass.
"Who?"
"Oliver."
You tilt your head. "Oliver's just being friendly."
"He's not." Jason's jaw tightens. "He's not just being friendly. He touches you. He—" He breaks off, running a hand through his hair. "Forget it. I'm being an idiot."
"You're not an idiot."
"I'm acting like one."
You're quiet for a moment. The kettle clicks off, but neither of you moves to pour the tea.
"Jason," you say, and your voice is different now. Softer. "Why do you care if Oliver likes me?"
Because I love you.
Because I've loved you since fourth grade when you gave me your purple crayon.
Because I died and I came back and the only thing that made sense in the whole world was you.
Because I'm afraid one day you'll realize you deserve someone who isn't broken. Someone who isn't a monster. Someone like Oliver with his perfect teeth and his perfect life and his perfect hands that have never hurt anyone.
Because if you choose someone else, I don't know who I am anymore.
He doesn't say any of it.
He just looks at you, and you look at him, and the snow keeps falling outside the window, and the fairy lights glow soft and warm, and his heart is beating so loud he's sure you can hear it.
"Jason," you whisper again.
And he thinks — maybe.
Maybe this is the moment.
Maybe he could reach out. Touch your face. Kiss you. Finally, finally stop pretending he doesn't want to spend every night wrapped up in you, breathing you in, being someone better because you make him want to be better.
His hand moves before he can stop it.
His fingers brush against yours.
You inhale sharply.
And then—
"Aren't you going to pour the tea?" he asks, and he hates himself for it. Hates the way his walls snap back into place. Hates the way you blink, confused, and then slowly, slowly, pull your hand away.
"Right," you say, and your voice sounds strange. "Tea."
You stand up. Walk to the kitchen.
Jason watches you go and feels like he's just lost something he never had the courage to claim.
Later, after the tea is gone and the silence has stretched thin and he's standing at your door with his jacket zipped up to his chin, you stop him.
"Jason."
He turns.
You're standing in the doorway, haloed by the warm light from inside. Snowflakes catch in your hair. Your eyes are bright.
"Oliver doesn't matter," you say quietly.
He stares at you.
"I don't care about Oliver," you continue. "I've never cared about Oliver. I care about—" You stop yourself. Swallow. "Just. He doesn't matter."
"...Okay," Jason says, because he doesn't know what else to say.
You smile. It's not your sunshine smile. It's something softer. Something sadder. Something that looks like hope and fear and everything in between.
"Goodnight, Jason."
"Goodnight."
He walks home in the snow, and his hands are freezing, and his heart is pounding, and he thinks—
I NED THE REACTION AFTERMATH OF THE "prefect sends one final message" AND MY LIFE IS YOURS🙏🙏🙏
ok 👌
prefect sends a final message — the morning after
pt.1
warnings: pretty much the same as before kinda..? idk
a/n: i didn't wnat to make another smau... lots of literacy devices here, keep your eyes peeled. i teared up a little writing this. i'm probably gonna make a part three, as this one only showcases riddle, leona, and vil. not seperately.
------
The steady noise of the heart rate monitor beside you reverberates across the room.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
But all you can see is black.
Darkness. Nihility. Devoid of any corporeal form.
No— that’s not quite right. You can still feel the silk sheets beneath your fingers. The blanket draped over you, too light and too heavy all at once. Your lungs expanding, contracting. Expanding. Contracting. A rhythm that doesn’t match the machine’s.
So you muster whatever strength remains to pry your eyelids open.
Now all you see is white.
Blinding. Bright. Blaring.
A sterile ceiling. Fluorescent lights that hum. a large window where the sun seeps in.
You blink. Once. Twice. The white softens into shapes— a window, a curtain, a chair.
A hospital room.
You’re in a hospital room.
The beeping continues.
It sounds like a metronome,
but it feels like a stopwatch.
Counting the seconds of shame you’re forced to endure after the whole ordeal.
Wait. Ordeal?
Ah— that’s right.
You had tried to depart from this realm through your own means last night.
Or maybe not last night. You don’t know how long you’ve been stuck writhing in that dark hellhole. Time doesn’t move the same when you’re not sure you want it to move at all.
But you’re here now.
Lungs still filling. Heart still beating.
Beep.
Damn thing won’t stop reminding you.
…
A part of you can’t help but wish you would withdraw to that void again.
At least you could get a peace of mind there.
…
The longer you were awake, the more you began to make out your surroundings.
Voices. Muffled. Arguing. Outside your door. You still aren’t conscious enough to make out the words, but you recognize the cadence— sharp, clipped. That voice belongs to no other than Riddle. And the other one.. a low, rumbling retort. Leona. They’re fighting about something.
You try to sit up. Your body refuses. Your limbs are no different than lead. Your muscles forget how to obey. You manage a twitch of your fingers, nothing more. Pathetic. You can’t even leave properly, and now you can’t even move properly.
Absolutely deplorable.
Suddenly—
The door slams open— not kicked, not pushed, but thrown— with enough force that it bounces against the wall.
You flinch.
You didn’t have enough time to even pretend to be asleep.
Your heart monitor betrays you. The steady beep stutters into something faster, more erratic, before settling back into its rhythm.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
Riddle stands in the doorway.
His chest is heaving. His hair— usually pristine, perfectly combed— is a mess. Stray strands plastered to his forehead. His collar is crooked. His jacket is missing. He’s in nothing but his rumpled dress shirt, sleeves rolled up, sleeves that are uneven, you notice— one rolled to his elbow, the other barely past his wrist.
He looks nothing like the Housewarden of Heartslabyul.
He looks like someone who ran here.
Because he is.
His eyes find you.
Oh— his eyes.. His eyes are red.
Puffy.
Swollen.
Riddle Rosehearts has been crying.
And it seems he’s not done.
“Yuu—”
His voice breaks on the first syllable. He stumbles forward and catches himself on the doorframe.
“Yuu, you—” He chokes. Swallows. Tries again.
“you’re awake.”
“I thought—” He gasps and a bitter laugh escapes his lips. “I almost thought you were…”
He can’t finish the sentence.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
“I was so slow,” he says. The words tumble out, fast and desperate. "I read your message and I— I waited. I tried calling. I tried texting. I wasted time, Yuu. I wasted time trying to reach you when I should have just—"
He’s shaking. His whole body is trembling. He’s never been this bothered about his height, but to be honest..? Right now, he really wishes he were a bit taller, just so that he could have longer legs to catch up to you faster.
“Riddle—” you manage. Your voice is barely a rasp.
His hand shoots out. Grabs yours. His fingers are soft, but still trembling. He holds your hand like he’s drowning and you’re the only thing keeping him afloat.
“You are not allowed to do that,” he says. His voice wobbles. It doesn’t sound like an order. It sounds like a child begging. “You cannot— you must not—”
He presses his forehead against your knuckles.
“I can’t do it without you.”
The words are muffled. Barely audible.
“I’m so, so sorry...”
“I can’t—I don’t know how to—” He sobs. A real, wet, ugly sob. “I don’t know how to— just... I tried, Yuu. I tried to be the person everyone expects me to be. The perfect Housewarden. The perfect student. The perfect everything. And I thought if I just— if I just did everything right, you’d be— you’d want to stay—”
His shoulders shake.
“but in the end you—” He gasps for air. “You still tried to leave.”
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
“You were going to leave. You were going to leave without giving me a chance to— to fix it. To fix this. To—”
His jaw clenches.
“To tell you that I love you.”
The room goes quiet.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
Riddle’s face flushes red— but not from not anger like usual, but embarrassment. Shame. Like he just admitted something he wasn’t supposed to.
“... That’s— I didn’t—” He looks away. “That’s not how I wanted to say that.” A pause.
“F—Forget it. I don’t care if that’s—” He makes a frustrated sound. “I don’t care if that’s inappropriate or premature or—”
He meets your eyes again. His are shining.
“I care about you.” His voice is barely above a whisper. “More than I’ve ever cared about anything. More than rules. More than order. More than myself. And if you ever—”
His grip tightens.
“ever try to leave again, I will follow you. I will find you. And I will drag you back.”
A tear drips onto your hand.
“And then I’ll yell at you for a very long time,” he adds, voice cracking. “And then I’ll hold you and— and please—”
He breaks.
“Please don’t make me do that. Please don’t make me—”
He presses his forehead against your hand again.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
—
After an hour or two, Riddle finally leaves. Took a bit, but you managed to coax him to departure by telling him to tend to his Housewarden duties. He was pretty adamant about staying, though.
The door clicks shut behind him.
You’re alone again.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
You stare at the ceiling. Your hand feels cold where Riddle was holding it. Your cheek still stings from his tears. His confession echoes in your head— IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou—
…
Fuck.
You don’t know what to do with that.
You don’t know what to do with any of this.
Beep.
The door doesn’t open. It explodes.
...— figuratively. Or maybe not, considering the way it swung open— violent, uncontrolled. You’re sure any more force would’ve completely pulverised the whole thing. The handle crunches against the wall. A dent forms in the plaster.
Vil stands in the doorway.
He’s beautiful. Of course he is. Even now— even with dark circles under his eyes and his jaw clenched so tight it might crack— he’s beautiful.
Behind him, Leona looms.
His eyes are wild. His hair is a disaster. His shirt is untucked, wrinkled, like he threw it on without looking. He looks like he hasn’t slept in days.
Vil steps forward. His heels click against the tile. Each step measured. Controlled. Terrifying.
“Spudling,” he says.
His voice is calm. Too calm. Like the calm before a storm.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
“You’re awake.”
But then, Leona pushes past Vil. And not gently either. He shoves him aside like he’s not even there.
“Move.”
“Excuse me—”
“I said move.”
Leona is at your bedside now. He doesn’t grab your hand. He doesn’t speak either. He just looks at you. His eyes travel across your face— pale, sunken, broken.
His jaw tightens.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
“Herbivore,” he growls. “What. the. hell.”
You open your mouth. Nothing comes out.
Leona runs a hand through his unkempt hair.
“You sent me that message at midnight. You said sorry like that was supposed to be enough. You said goodbye like I oughtta let that slide.”
His voice rises.
“I said I was coming. I said to wait. I said to not anything brash.”
He stops. Whirls on you.
“What did you do?”
You flinch.
“You did exactly what I told you not to.”
His voice cracks. He slams his fist against the wall. The plaster cracks. A painting probably falls in the room beside yours.
Vil doesn’t flinch. He steps forward, around Leona. Vil’s hand reaches out.
And he flicks you.
Not hard. A firm tap against your forehead. The sting is sharp, brief.
"Ow—"
“That,” Vil starts, “is for making me worry.”
His hand hovers near your face. It’s trembling—
but then he pulls you into a brief embrace.
And lets go just as suddenly.
“That was for every second I spent thinking I’d never see you again. For every moment I wondered if I should have said something sooner. For every stupid decision you made.”
His voice wavers. The cracks are showing.
“Vil—”
“I’m not done.” He turns away, paces. “You wrote to me a goodbye message. You told me you couldn’t do it anymore. You told me you were tired. And you thought that was enough? You thought that was fair?”
He stops, dead in his tracks.
“To leave me with those words? To leave me wondering if I could have done something…”
His voice breaks.
“— if I had been enough?”
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
Leona watches. His fists clench. Unclench. Clench again. Then a sigh.
“The hell does that matter?” He growls. “You’re here. They’re here. That’s all that matters now.”
Vil’s eyes snap to him. “Don’t you dare minimize this.”
“I’m not minimizing anything.” Leona steps closer to the bed. “I’m saying they’re still breathing. Honestly, that’s more than I thought—”
He stops. His voice catches.
“… None of you have a clue,” he says, quieter, “of how terrified I was.”
He looks at you, dead in the eye. The corners of his are glassy. Oh, he’s very, very pissed.
“Herbivore,” he says. “You think you’re weak? You think that’s what I meant? When I said herbivores were weak?”
He leans down. His face is inches from yours.
“Fine. I’ll tell you what you want to hear. I called you weak because I was worried. Because I didn’t want to admit that someone like you— someone so ridiculously bright— could make me feel—"
He stops. Swallows.
"Tch. Nevermind.”
He can’t say it.
Of course he can’t.
Vil steps forward again. This time, his composure is gone. His shoulders are shaking. His eyes are red.
“Do you know what it felt like?” His voice wobbles. “To read your message and realize I might never see you again? To run through the halls in the middle of the night, not caring who saw me for once?”
He reaches out. Cups your cheek. Gently. Like you’re made of glass.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
“... you were going to leave. Without me. Without any of us.” He enunciates.
Leona moves. He reaches down and grabs your hand. Rough. Scared(?). Desperate..?
“Listen to me,” he says. His voice is a rasp. “I don’t do this. I don’t care. I don’t chase. I don’t beg.”
His thumb presses against your knuckles.
“But I’m begging you. Just this once. Be honored.”
His eyes meet yours. Glassy. Red-rimmed.
“Stay.”
Vil’s hand moves from your cheek to your forehead. Brushing back your hair.
“... Stay,” he echoes.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
Three people begged you to stay, two people held you, one person directly confessed, but nobody left you to rot.
How stupid could you have been?
And now, all you can do is lie there.
Breathing.
Beep.
—
You almost laugh.
The whole duration you were unconscious, you still tried to stop this sound. You tried to silence it permanently. You wanted nothing more than for the beeping to stop, for the rhythm to end, for everything to finally go quiet.
And now?
Now you’re lying here, surrounded by people who love you, and all you can think is—
Beep.
It didn’t stop.
Beep.
You didn’t stop.
Beep.
And for the first time in a long time,
Beep.
you don’t want anything to.
Beep.
Because between the beeps and the sobs and the hands holding yours—
Beep.
you think you might be okay.
Beep.
Slowly.
Beep.
Painfully.
Beep.
But okay.
Beep.
Ah— you finally understand..
The rhythm of a heart that chose to stay.
The rhythm of a heart that’s learning to beat alongside others.
Your rhythm.
Theirs.
The same.
Beep.
rejoice, and feast to your heart's content, my children...
To say Ryland was touch-starved was putting it lightly, to say the least. All his life, he had been a touch-love-language kind of guy. Hugs, forehead kisses, dancing with someone closely...
So when you woke up a few days after he did, he was joyous to know he may still have human contact after a decade without it. Except you were the opposite of him, like a fox scurrying away with suspicion the moment a person looked too long. Cold and distant like a faraway planet. A lot bolder and braver than he could ever dream of being, too.
Obviously, he wasn't going to push you into any contact you didn't want, even if the emptiness inside him grew more and more each day. Rocky helped a lot, but he was still stuck in his Xenonite ball.
What bothered him most was that he couldn't comprehend how you were able to so easily brush him off, entirely uninterested in even a hug. How could you stand that after a decade? Had something hurt you in the past? Ryland wouldn't pry, letting you slowly open up a bit more as the days of the mission passed.
"You know, when I was a little girl, I used to want to touch the stars," you said one day, staring out the Hail Mary's porthole, your eyes soaking in every bit of starlight. it was the most vulnerable you had ever been with him. "I believed I could hold them all in my hands. Silly, I know. It's why I wanted to become an astronaut."
"I don't think it's silly," he responded with a lopsided smile, with an honesty that only he could have. It stirred something in you, but you shoved it down as you had been for a while now.
Days later, he found you on the floor, shaking uncontrollably. An aftereffect of the coma. Immediately, he stayed by your side, along with Rocky, doing everything he could until you rode out the episode. When it finally ended, you brushed your fingers against his, curling them around his wrist like an anchor. It sent a shiver down your spine.
This whole time, you had been the brave one. Now it was his turn. Maybe he couldn't be brave for the entire world, but he would be brave for you now because you were bigger than that. Whatever it was between the two of you was bigger than all the stars.
Slowly, you curled yourself against him, letting him wrap his arms around you and burying your face in his shoulder. It was the first hug you had ever felt truly comfortable in. Ryland leaned in a bit, resting his forehead against the top of your head, a few tears falling past his lashes. The steady rise and fall of his chest was soothing as you tightened your grip on the fabric of his shirt.
Now he understood what you meant by wanting to hold the stars. Right now, he was holding one in his arms. His star. The one who would save the stars by his and his best friend's side.
content/warnings: HEAVY ANGST!!! happy ending :D, hurt/comfort, adrian is a little stupid :), gross abuse of italics, adrian’s regeneration, Y/N is high functioning autistic TO ME, canon typical blood and gore, medical inaccuracies though i try my best, imnotadoctor . com
a/n: YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO tHIS SONG ITS MANDATORY TO UNDERSTAND THE VIBES!! welllllll basically what i’ve learned from starting to write again this year is that i CANNOT write a dominant or smug man because i HATE IT!!! only weird obsessive men who apologize profusely for their misdeeds…… so learn to expect that from me :P i often get stuck in describing emotions and the internal dialogue so a lot of this is very long winded and unnecessary.
this story could truly be read at any time in the canon and more possibly pre-season one . i love adrian so much and i hope i characterized him properly in your eyes, Y/N .
please let me know if you find any typos or something i get so embarrassed
thank u to my beta reader @iluvcatsalot
The only time I'll open up is when I'm firing
A bad case of the Mondays with no silver
With no silver lining
Adrian Chase sets a timer on his phone for five minutes.
Then, he goes to his web browser and types into the search bar: Least lethal places to be shot.
He goes to images and finds a graphic he likes.
He lines up his pistol with his left shoulder, pressing it into his suit. And he pulls the trigger.
The shot rings through the air, and he reacts how any other person would. He screams.
He falls against the wall and slides down onto his ass. He heaves and blinks hard, mouth forming a grimace. He grasps his shoulder and it wets his gloved hand red.
He passes out against the wall, and soon after, his alarm shakes him loose and wide-eyed. He’s healed just enough now to not die on the drive.
Adrian Chase would’ve preferred somewhere on the leg, but that’s just not believable enough, he thinks.
-
Something wakes you. A buzzing, a vibration.
Like muscle memory, you pull your phone from the nightstand and check it with hazy eyes. It’s 1:45 am on a Monday. You have two notifications from seven minutes ago.
1 missed call
And a text that reads:
Adrian: I’m on the way!
You shoot up in bed and respond as fast as you can.
Y/n: no what
Y/N: whats wrong?
Adrian: Hold on. Almost there
Adrian calling…
Fuck. You answer begrudgingly and press the phone to your tired ear, warm from sleeping on your side.
‘What?’ It comes out short. You don’t consciously intend it to.
‘Hello to you, too, grumpy! Can you-’
‘You better not be outside my house.’
‘Why not?’
The last time Adrian Chase showed up outside your door, he almost knocked you over on the way in. He’d been hit in the head and face, and hard. By what, you don’t know. Maybe a fist. Maybe a car.
All you know is that it keeps getting worse. At first, he just needed a place to sleep it off. Sometimes a stab. It’s different now. Bloodier.
His nose was broken and his mouth bled when his teeth gnashed into his cheek. You did all you could, laying him on the couch passing in and out of consciousness. He definitely had a concussion. You broke his nose back in place and kept an eye on him all night for signs of brain damage. You set him up with an IV and pain medication drip you’d stolen from work for him, just in case.
The next morning, he took a shower and thanked you profusely and left.
And after that, you don’t get to see him at all until he’s fucked up again. He texts, yes. And you text him back. It doesn’t satiate you.
You realize you don’t even know if you’re his friend or just a nurse.
It’s becoming a heavy thing to carry.
You ask me if I'm angry
Well, hell yeah, I fucking am
Can't help the way God made me
But He won't get away with that again
‘Adrian, it’s… late.’
‘Well, I was on patrol late. And it’s raining and this guy hit me with a 9mm and I’m cold. Oh, and um… I’m on your stoop.’ He sounds a tiny bit sluggish.
9mm? Throwing the covers off you, you turn quickly and sit with your legs hanging over the side of the bed, ‘You’ve been shot?’
‘Yup!’
He hears you mutter a fuck before he can feel your heavy stomps leading up to the door.
You throw open the door to see him leaning against the outside wall of your house with the phone still to his ear— even though you’ve already hung up— and his face to the ground. His head whips up and his hand with the phone drops slowly. You can tell he’s smiling under the mask, giddy to see you like he’s got no idea. He doesn’t.
There is nothing comforting about the way you look, and in the same sense, the way you look at him. Your hair is a mess and your clothes hang off of you. There’s a missing smile, whether it’s with your mouth or eyes, it’s not there. It’s still you, though. He’ll have to do some digging to find out who’s set you like this. Who’s wearing you so thin?
You didn’t have time to turn the big lights in your apartment on. The only things that keep your home from being swallowed whole in shadow is the full moon and the streetlights coming through the windows, brighter than usual, and a small warm lamp in your living room you keep on at all times. These sources of light shine off the glass in the pictures frames on the wall, on the kitchen counter, on the jewelry you never take off. The heating system buzzes in the background. It’s a calm place you’ve made for yourself.
He’s disrupting it.
You leave the door open where it’s at and start the routine that feels eerily like a weighed down crawl right now. It’s a thousand pounds in your bones. You open a kitchen drawer and throw him a clean towel.
‘Hold this there for a second. Hard. Don’t let go.’ You say in a rush, and you’re unable to stay in one place. You’re frazzled and shaken. He’s almost completely content, if it weren’t for his shoulder fucking killing. He’s happy to be here.
He does as you say.
While grabbing your medical bag from beside your nightstand, Adrian watches you get things ready, watches you zip around your rooms and hallways collecting supplies, and he stays in one place. His suit is all wet from the rain, so he waits for you to tell him where to park himself.
You wash and glove your hands in the bathroom and carry yourself to him with quickness. You maneuver a chair at your table and pull out one for you perpendicular to it. You point absentmindedly.
‘Sit.’ He does as you say, and is quite stable and silent about it for someone who’s been shot. You take the towel out of his hands and apply the pressure on the wound you can see. There’s a three inch radius around the hole that soaks his suit with dark, shiny red. ‘Through and through, or is the bullet still in there?’
‘Uhh-‘
You answer your own question before he can by turning the overhead light on and peering over his shoulder to see the back of the suit and finding there’s an exit hole matching the entry.
‘I mean, I don’t feel like I still have a bullet in me.’
You nod, mostly comfortingly to yourself. ‘There’s an exit.’
He’s barely bleeding anymore, if he ever was. Red slides slowly into the Vigilante suit like a nosebleed, not a gouged hole of flesh. You’ve found that this is normal for him. You sandwich his shoulder between your palms anyways and press hard. You’ll stay that way for a few minutes until you start to stitch.
‘Yay.’ He pumps his uninjured arm in the air triumphantly.
You keep peeling back the towel from him to check the clotting until it’s at a level you’re comfortable with to move forward.
Standing, you grab and start to unravel a sterile mat to place your instruments on.
‘So… I’m gonna check it out. Clean it, check for debris, and stitch it up on both sides.’
‘Okay!’
‘It’s gonna hurt.’ You side eye him.
‘That’s alright. You’re a great nurse. Probably the best in the country, actually.’
‘Definitely… definitely not.’ You huff a laugh that is bereft of humor. ‘Do you want a drink? For the pain?’
‘Can I have some of that juice you have?’
‘That’s… not gonna help with the pain.’
‘And the numbing spray would be good. The tsschk tsschk.’ He imitates the spray bottle with his finger.
You pour him a glass of cranberry juice. As you do, you notice it’s almost gone. You bought it originally for a UTI you had, but after you started getting it just for him. Usually you have a back up jug. You don’t now.
‘Why’re you so sad? And tired?’
Ignoring his heavy question, you set the glass down a bit loudly in front of him in a hurry. You’re trying to speed this up. One, because he’s bleeding out of a manmade orifice. Two, because… this is hurting.
Adrian tears his mask off to chug the drink and he realizes you haven’t asked him to take it off like you commonly do. His hair sticks to his forehead before he pries it off because he hates the feeling. He shakes his head a little like a dog and in the process, jostles his shoulder.
‘Stop moving around so much, please.’
He does as you say.
You reach behind his neck to undo the trappings that keep his armor bound to him. It’s strangely intimate and close to him, and he enjoys it. To you, right now, with the state you’re in, it feels like busy work.
He helps you shrug the top section of the Vigilante off, and he’s left in a black dry-fit long sleeve. Adrian unfolds and puts on his glasses to watch what’s happening. He always does. Scissors enter the neck of his under shirt, and you cut it down to his mid bicep, ruining the shirt but creating a flap that you can peel from him to expose his shoulder completely.
You inspect the wound the best you can. It’s in his shoulder, which is pretty benign as it is for a bullet wound. The bullet hasn’t carried any of his clothing into the hole when it went through, and there isn’t any sign of infection.
There’s a lull in the air while you continue your ministrations. Adrian feels the need to fill it.
‘So- So, this guy was robbing a little old lady in an alley way. Shaking her down for her pearls and fancy stuff. And here I come, vigilant as ever, and I’m like Hey, buddy. I’ve got somethin’ for ya!’
You sterilize him with alcohol and he hisses and throws his head back. It makes the hole bleed again for a moment. You wipe it away softly, with gentle hands. It makes him smile after the pain. You spray his skin down with numbing spray for the impending stitches.
‘He’s like Get the fuck outta here, man. This doesn’t concern you. And I’m like Evildoers always concern me, dickweed.’ He pauses, maybe hoping for a laugh. You’re too focused, your eyes shrouded from him by your brows coming down hard as you work, ‘And then, well, like… yeah, okay, he shoots me. But that didn’t stop me from gutting his ass.’
‘Pretty cool, right?’
To make a long fucking story long,
You’d gone to high school with Adrian. You weren’t in the same circles, notably because you didn’t have a circle, but you saw a lot of each other. He was shorter in high school, more shy, and the two of you had the same bus route.
You cruised through high school without making any lasting impressions. You got good grades. Super smart, obviously. You, best nurse in the whole country, you.
But you were not popular. You were almost see through, really. It was devastatingly lonely, and surely it’s done some damage to your psyche, but it had its perks. You weren’t bullied or shoved into lockers. Your peers knew you like you know your distant relatives. They heard your first and last name during attendance and it was stored in memory without outright acknowledging you. Nobody ever seemed to hate you. Nobody ever seemed to know you very well either.
You had a few fleeting friendships. Fewer lasting ones.
You didn’t ever have a date for homecoming. But you went.
Adrian was shoved into lockers. Adrian did leave a lasting impression— as the kid with the animal t-shirts and the older, cooler brother. They picked on him for all the reasons they do. He was too gangly, he spoke too fast and too much. His backpack clipped in the front. He didn’t ever go to homecoming.
There would be kids kind to him and his nerd friends, but few and far between.
You were one.
When paired with him by the teacher on a partner assignment, you didn’t groan and roll your eyes. And you were very okay sitting next to him on the bus, because hey, it’s an open seat, and you like him. It became a thing, and you started sitting next to him almost everyday. To him, you were blindingly, surprisingly unphased by his differences.
You loved him, of course. He was personable and giggly and bright at the surface. Deeper, he was singular and interesting and sweet and untaken by teenage cruelty.
Some years, you had classes together. You’d sit in the back with him. He overlooked DnD campaign notes during long winded lectures and you did the homework from your other classes. The two of you didn’t speak often during class, but you didn’t need to. It was enough for both of you to know you had a spot next to someone who wanted to sit by you, too. That feels so good in high school. He made you paper stars every once in a while out of straw wrappers. You utter a Thank you, Adrian. It’s a skill that would be useless to anyone else, but he finds you like it. So it’s very useful.
You were not best friends. But you knew him, and you weren’t embarrassed to know him at all.
And so, you go off to college and nursing school in a different state. You stay there for a while— years, actually, for work. In the meantime, Adrian is building himself into Vigilante.
You move back to Evergreen for a job open at the hospital. And your first night back, you have no food in the fridge of your new place yet, so you go out to eat at a place called Fennel Fields. And he’s there. And it’s a pretty full house that night.
A hostess is about to seat you when Adrian swoops in and sprays and wipes the table off for you. He says,
‘One second, let me get that for you— woah. Woah.’ Recognition flashes in his eyes. Still pretty, he thought to himself.
Ah, so you’ve reconnected. Lucky you. Lucky him.
You give him your phone number in a heartbeat. You know no one here anymore. You’re happy to see a familiar face.
‘Here. I want you to have this.’ Says you, handing him a napkin with your contact scrawled on it.
‘Ten numbers? Score! Wait, what is it, though?’ In his defense, you didn’t put the little dashes in between the area code and the other sets of numbers.
‘My phone number.’
‘Oh.’ It gave him a stomach ache to learn you’d gone off to college in a different state. He doesn’t hold it against you. He understands. You were too smart not to go. It was just… a pain in the ass to be reminded of you every once in a while during the most random, menial tasks. He doesn’t want to say the one that got away, but…
Yeah, no, actually, he does. Sounds cool.
‘Is that a good oh? Or…’
‘Are you kidding? I love having people’s numbers! Usually people are hesitant to give me twenty-four hour access to them.’
‘Why?’ You furrow your brow.
‘Well, because I have a lot of thoughts and questions and I can type them really fast.’ He smiles proudly.
He hasn’t changed, you realize.
You thread a length of medical-grade absorbable string through the eye of a curved needle.
‘Y’know, crows use tools too. Like people.’
‘Oh, yeah?’ You ask. You are fond of his facts, whether they be true or not. He seems more concerned for animals than anything else. You like that, you always have. And keeping him talking in the midst of all this may distract him from the pain.
‘And they actually enjoy it. They love to use a little twig for lots of stuff. Like you and your tweezers.’ He’s on the verge of a laugh, ‘You’re like a crow.’
‘It’s a needle driver.’ You smile softly until you glance up at him, and then your face hardens again, ‘Okay. Stop talking.’
You realize this sounds a little harsh so your eyes flit over to him for another moment and you compose yourself into someone kinder. Someone who’s had more sleep. ‘…For a minute.’
You start with the back and forth of stitches. On a gunshot wound, you’d usually practice secondary intention by packing the hole with gauze and leaving it to heal from the inside out, since it’s a very deep hole. This allows for drainage and keeps infections from getting trapped. But for him, he’d just heal over the gauze tonight and then you have a whole other problem. So, you’ll go ahead and suture it closed like he’s been nicked with a kitchen knife, not a chunk of hot lead in one side and out the other.
You stitch it down the middle first, pulling it shut and halving it into two smaller sections, and you keep halving and halving and snipping until you have a nice vertical closure.
He is strangely quiet unless spoken to. But he feels privileged to get to watch you do what you do best. And you touch him; laying hands on him absentmindedly through this whole night, to clean, to reposition, to hold the skin in place. He behaves himself best he can. Though, he fidgets a lot.
You need to do the same stitching on the exit wound. When you move around him to do so, you ask him,
‘And… so, what other birds use tools?’ His head shoots up at your voice.
‘Egyptian Vultures. They use pebbles. They’re rockstars.’ You softly, barely laugh through your nose, not the total crack up he’s anticipating. Probably because you’re concentrating, he knows that. ‘It’s… S’not my joke. I read it somewhere.’ He shakes his head, a little embarrassed.
And then it’s over. You’re pleased with the work you did. Under such conditions, of course.
You cut him the rest of the way out of his shirt, and get him a new long sleeve. You help him put it on like he truly is your patient, guiding his shoulder through the path of least resistance. He groans a little in pain, and starts talking again while his head is not yet fully through the neck hole.
‘You never answered my question.’
‘What?’ You’re standing in front of him, pulling the body of the shirt down over his torso now, and he’s looking up at you with wide, curious eyes as if he’s not just heavily sunken your heart, hoping this topic had been forgotten.
‘You never answered my question.’
‘Which question? Why are you sad and tired? Or Wasn’t my story about getting shot cool?’
‘Both. But mostly the former.’
‘Well… why are any of us tired? I have bills to pay, I guess. I had to take more hours at work.’
‘And the… sad?’
‘I’m— not—‘ You scoff, indignant. Honestly, you’re at a loss for words. Good ones, specifically. You look at him like you can’t believe what he’s saying and you shake your head no.
‘You’re not smiling with your teeth or laughing. And your eyebrows are further down than they usually are. And you haven’t comfortingly touched my hand or shoulder the whole time.’ He’s counting the facts on his fingers.
‘Your shoulder has been shot through.’ You know what he meant. But you act like you don’t.
‘The other shoulder, Y/N!’
Adrian whines, and you throw your hands up, and then they land on your hips.
‘Fine. You got me, okay?’
‘Well, why? Is there someone that needs to be discreetly killed?’
You laugh out loud for the first time, breaking his adamantine eye contact that he’s been trying to keep. Needing something to do with your hands, you strip your latex gloves off and trash them.
‘What?’ He inquires about your laughter.
‘I don’t think you’d want to kill this person.’
‘Bet I would.’
‘Well, he’s my friend.’
‘Oh.’ He doesn’t like the sound of this he.
You sit down in the same chair you did the stitches in and cross your arms over your chest.
‘He’s very—…. worrying. All fingers and thumbs, this one.’ You've been made to really think about it. And your nose scrunches and your fingers rub at your eyes from having to actually say it out loud. You don’t know what you're doing anymore. It’s all gone to the wind now. ‘Actually, I don’t even know if I would call it friends, so much as...’
‘He’s, like… he needs my help. And I’m not so sure I’m happy with the arrangement anymore.’
‘He’s being targeted by the Mafia isn’t he?’ Adrian concludes, ‘Like horse-head-in-the-bed, Goodfellas type Mafia. Or is that the Godfather?’
‘It’s the Godfather. And no. Medical help,’ You take a deep breath, ‘He gets himself lacerated or- or blown up or fucking de-‘
You start to choke up remembering all the states you’ve seen him in, so you go for the exaggeration instead of the truth now, ‘-decapitated twice a week. And I’m a nurse, so. Problem, meet solution.’
Your nostrils flare and relax, the muscles under your eyes flex. They are blown wide open, burning just trying to keep the tears where they are. You watch his face for any sign of understanding. You find it. His mouth forms a small O and he’s silent for a moment, brow furrowing.
‘…Oh.’
You’re really fucking thinking about it now.
‘And I know. I know. The criminals and their crime. He has to do what he has to do. But has he ever thought about taking a break? Or maybe going to an ER—‘ You're getting angry, your tone changes. You’d wished more out of this. Out of reconnecting. You want to be something bigger to him, like he is to you. And as of now, you’re only eye to eye when he’s injured and you’re half awake. The question is—
Is that the only time he wants to see you? Or is this just the way things are, hard as you might want it to change?
You don’t know. It's been killing you not knowing.
‘I can’t do hospitals.’
‘—Instead of crashing into my shitty home and being stitched up by me, not a fucking doctor, who’s shaking from adrenaline?’
‘It’s not shitty.’
‘There are so… so many better options. One day I’m not gonna be able to sew you back together. And you’re gonna bleed yourself to death in front of me...’ You lean forward, elbows on your knees and hands running down your face, stressed. Into your fingers, you say quietly, ‘You’re scaring me.’
‘That won’t happen!’
‘You can’t know that!’ Standing abruptly, you yell for the first time. Though it’s nothing like the yelling you grew up with, it’s enough to get the point across. You tower over him in his chair, so you retreat to the kitchen, bracing yourself against the counter behind you. Your voice breaks, as does the dam keeping the water in your eyes at bay, ‘You’re scaring me, Adrian!’
‘Oh, man. Don’t cry. Please, don’t cry.’ He pleads, standing with you now to get closer to your level, like it only occurred to him how heavy this all is when the first tear hits your cheek.
‘Statistically speaking, your success rate with helping me is 100%. There’s nothing you can’t fix, I’m pretty sure. Plus, with my naps… my success rate with healing is also 100%! And I… I like it here.’ He talks with his hands, seemingly scrambling.
‘You like it here.’ It’s repeated back to him with an undertone of bitterness. You feel patronized.
‘Of course I do.’
‘Then why do you only come when you need something?’
‘I don’t… I don’t understand.’
‘I can’t remember the last time I saw you outside of…—of this.’ Your gesture up and down to him with a flattened hand, ‘Out of the suit. Or even— like, in daylight!’
‘So, wait, you actually, like, want me here?’ You’re fully arguing, and he’s still talking softly to you.
‘What the fuck are you talking about?’
‘You’re angry. I—’ He tries to take a step towards you, palms out in a plea, and you evade him.
‘Of fucking course I want you here! I can’t… how could you think anything else?’
‘You- you never told me that.’
‘I- I let you drip blood all over my floors… and I let you sleep on my couch. And I stay up for hours… to help you. Just so I can see you!’ You lick your lips to soothe them from their chapped nature. It doesn’t soothe you. ‘I f-fucking buy juice! For you!’
You’re breaking all apart.
There’s a stinging silence, and you know that tonight, you won’t receive any of the answers you crave. This is pointless. And perhaps even worse than before.
‘Please, go.’
‘Y/N…’
At the sound of your name so softly called from his mouth, you spring into action. It’s all so full of emotion. Sadness and anger, to make it simple.
And to make it sound like how it actually feels, it’s like a restless ocean— and in it, the burning remnants of a sunken ship floating aimlessly. You love him desperately for what he is, since high school, and now you’re asking him to leave. You have to remind yourself that to keep him and ask him to change his reckless, inconsiderate ways will get you nowhere.
You pick his things up. The top half of the Vig suit off the ground and his mask from the table. Crashing them to his chest, you press him backwards towards the door with both palms. He doesn’t fight you away, but there’s resistance from him every couple steps that you have to push through. He’s strong.
‘Please, just go. And you can’t come back.’ You cry, face scrunching up into a sob.
Adrian is so confused, so struck by how fast this has escalated. He wonders how he can get this all to stop and now. He can scarcely recognize the sounds of the door knob turning, because he’s just looking at you.
‘What—?’ He’s able to say before he’s completely shut out in the rain again.
You say that I look angry
Well, hell yeah, you're fucking right
Hot pacing the back porch from all the conversation
Squared up with time for these dicks tonight
But the only time I'll open up is when I'm firing
A bad case of the Mondays with no silver
With no silver lining
You thank fuck that there’s no window on your front door, because if you could see him right now, pelted with rain and all alone and looking like an orphan pedaling newspapers, you’d surely let him back in against your better judgment. Your feet can’t seem to move in the newfound silence. In front of the door silently for a horrible moment, you stand, swaying a bit from weariness and knowing he’s still right there.
You cry. Guilt curls in your stomach and makes a home there, and you cry, cleaning blood and dirtied materials from your kitchen table.
Almost immediately after he’s left, you receive a string of notifications.
4 missed calls
Adrian: Pick up!!!
2 missed calls
Adrian: Im sorry
Adrian: I don’t want you to be sad
1 missed call
Adrian: If I had known I would’ve bought you juice to
Adrian: too*
Monday
5 missed calls
Adrian: Can you pick up?
Adrian: What’s your favorite juice?
Tuesday
Adrian: The moon is a waning gibbous
What he really wants to say is that he misses you. But that’s far too flowery and weird, right?
Wednesday
2 missed calls
Adrian: You should really take back what you said about me not coming back. Because I really want to
Adrian: Im sorry seriously
-
The week drags by slowly. Adrian lets up with the missed calls but keeps on with his texts. You know you can’t block him because honestly, you don’t have it in you, and because then he’d probably just start sending letters.
Or maybe he would give up. And you’ve deluded yourself to thinking you’re much more important than you are.
It’s been five days now, and it’s Saturday night. You were tearing at the seams at the end of each shift this work week, and each night you brought yourself to your bed and created a cradle of blankets and pillows. Without after-midnight house calls, you sleep well, and you sleep for a good amount of time. It’s not enough. You want to sleep all day.
It’s the weekend now. So you do.
Vivid dreams appear to you— exhaustive people, places, and things come together to create stories you can’t follow anymore in the playground of your unsound, sad mind.
You miss Adrian dearly. He gouged a hole in your home, your world, your everyday routine. His bloodstains are on various surfaces and belongings that you weren’t able to get out. You have a small drawer full of men’s comfort-wear for him. You need to get rid of that.
You barely want to be home. What, with all it’s reminders. And you want to be out in the world even less.
Six months you’ve been taking care of him now. This is the longest you’ve gone without seeing him darken your doorstep.
Sometimes you have no choice— nothing else to do— but to ruminate.
My stomach's torn up of gunfire
And improvisational white lies
It's not sustainable, but it's just traditional
And I couldn't hold him if I wanted to
So I left my man in the middle of the highway
He can be such a bitch and it makes me sick
Alright, alright
Adrian goes to the grocery store and buys six types of juice.
Through his eyes, all he has to do is be persistent, maybe. And he’ll make it up to you somehow. And everything can be set right.
Right?
Vigilante doesn’t pull punches. He’s ruthless, honestly. And his reputation reflects that. Though, for the last couple days, he’s been slicing through people and it no longer satiates him. He goes harder, longer, starts patrol even earlier in the night. Tired and worn, he gores and gores to try and pull a positive reaction out of his brain.
He feels close to nothing. Maybe because he knows he has nothing to look forward to tonight, for his access has been stripped from him.
From the beginning, he often just parked across the street and a little ways down from your house. Just to feel something akin to reassurance that you’re there, and safe. He doesn’t want to creep you out by being in your face all the time, so he’s sneaky about it. The obsessive neurons firing in his brain start the car and drive him there.
For the last week, he watches you arrive to work, watches you leave. And you know his car. Adrian logically knows you might notice he’s there. Maybe he hopes you do. He wants you to know he still cares. That he’s not angry at you. That he’ll come running if you call.
He’s starting to get antsy, though.
-
Sunday
You take to bed early tonight. You toss and turn for thirty minutes, and then you start scrolling on your phone until you fall away into light slumber, the same video replaying over and over in your hand for a minute or two.
You awake briefly to turn over once more and plug your phone in, only to see that there are multiple notifications that need tending to.
3 missed calls
Adrian: Can you just answer once so I know you’re alive and haven’t been killed by a robber
He knows you haven’t. What kind of protector would he be if he didn’t?
Adrian: If you don’t Im gonna have to show up. For a wellness check
You check the time stamp on these texts, and they’re from fifteen minutes ago. This worries you, given the nature of the last message. For the first time this week, you respond to Adrian. You type a perfunctory I’m Alive and hit send in the hopes that it’ll keep this wellness check from materializing.
Adrian calling…
Fuck!
‘Dude…’ You rasp into the phone.
‘Oh, my god!’ He exclaims, obviously not expecting your answer, ‘Hey, listen! Just listen for a second!’
There’s a soft rumbling in the background and you’re immediately suspicious.
‘Are you driving?’
‘…No.’
He’s never been good at lying. But you’ll drop it for now.
‘Okay, what? What do you need?’
‘Can we hang out? In your home, in daylight, tomorrow? I’ll have normal clothes on!’ Adrian drags out the last word with a lilt like it’s a very enticing proposition. You do find it endearing that he’d kept a list of all the things you’d complained about last Monday in his head.
‘No, I can’t.’
‘Why no? You’re being so confusing.’
‘Because…’ You sigh and shake your head.
‘You can’t even think of one reason!’
‘I can think of a thousand reasons!’
‘A thousand?’ He takes it literally, as he is wont to do, and gets a little loud, incredulous and in awe of your supposed myriad of reasons. You groan.
‘I’m going back to bed.’
‘Okay! Okayokayokay. I don’t know if this is gonna help. Maybe, probably not. I’m- I’m horrible at this. I don’t know how to do… like, this. I did some digging on how to resolve conflict.’ Adrian speaks fast and with purpose, ‘Most sources say that, first and foremost honesty is key. Do you… think that’s true?’
‘Um— Most times, yes.’
‘Okay, so, I shot myself that night. With a gun, and it hurt, like, really bad!’ You can envision the whiny face he’s making.
‘What the fuck?’
‘Not in a suicide way. I shot myself in a totally normal, sane way.’ Right.
‘Why would you do that?’ You hear your voice go up an octave.
‘So I would have a reason to see you!’
The silence that follows is taut and unsettling for both of you.
‘What-‘
A knock at your door rings through your halls, and a very familiar one at that. And now you realize what’s happening. Oh, yeah, of course! Silly you! The checklist is as follows: a wake up, a phone call, a stressful and dire situation, a knock at the door, and then ostensibly, a confrontation.
‘Oh, yeah. Can you open the door?’
This time, you do as he asks with miles less urgency, as he is not bleeding. You even give yourself time to put on pants.
When the door recedes and he comes into view, he’s wearing normal clothes. A striped shirt tucked into jeans. He sports a huge grin on his face that reaches his eyes. He got very excited when he heard the metal clinking of the lock turning open. He forces himself back into a neutral face when he sees yours, wracked with stress.
You throw your hands up and then down again to emphasize your exasperation. Continuing the phone conversation, you say, all true and genuine,
‘You don’t need a reason to see me.’
He nods what doesn’t quite seem like a concurrence. He swallows hard.
‘My friends, they— they tell me I can be annoying. That I can’t read a room or whatever. I didn’t want to annoy you. You’re actually the last person on the whole planet I want to annoy.’
‘I didn’t…’ He shrugs and lets out a breath of frustration. He’s trying so hard to mend this. To say the right thing. ‘I just, like…’
‘I’m fucking— really fucking crazy about you, okay?’
What?
‘I didn’t want to say it before and, like, bomb our cool situation we have going, but I just…’ He shifts weight on his feet, looking back and forth between your eyes, ‘…Really don’t fucking care anymore. I just want it back.’
He grabs one of your fists that’s dangling at your side as he’s talking and pries it open into a flat palm. He drops something in it, something almost weightless. ‘I just really, really want this back.’
When his hand comes away, you’re free to see an origami star, a little wrinkled and uneven from years of the skill collecting dust. You look at it. He looks at you.
Your chin quivers. Your eyebrow flexes. A shaky, wet exhale falls from you. Meeting his eyes once more, he’s got tears brimming and an anxious way about him.
You can’t help but see sixteen year old Adrian for a moment, flashing into view and then retreating back.
In high school, when you fall out with a good friend, it fucks up your whole ecosystem for a good while. And especially if you were already low on the hierarchy, one person can make your life so much easier to trudge through. That feeling— that teenage loss— it’s sinking back into Adrian. For him, It’s hard to put into words or even recognize, but it’s there.
‘I lost you.’ He sniffles and shrugs, he shakes his head like he’s disappointed in himself, ‘When you- When you went to dumbass— fuckin’… college. I should’ve tried harder. Maybe things would be different—maybe, I don’t know.’ Maybe you’d still like me like you did then, the words whisper.
He rarely bares himself this much. But he’s willing for some reason, and he can only assume the reason is because it’s you.
Your shoulders relax. Your arms unfold from your chest. Everything unfolds.
‘Adrian, you couldn’t.’ The words feel foreign to you as they spill out. Eyebrows peaking up in sympathy at his words, your voice cracks as you respond, each of the three words lush with reassurance.
‘You don’t annoy me. You couldn’t.’ You say quickly this time. More firm, serious, like the idea that you’d have any other answer is so stupid, like you’re making certain he knows for sure.
‘I like you exactly as you are.’
Adrian swears he can hear music in his head. A movie soundtrack to fully surround the both of you in this moment.
Adrian finds himself to be independent and, at the end of the day— uncaring of what most people think of him. Not strangers, not the random customers at Fennel Fields, barely even his mother.
It is made glaringly obvious that he cares what you think.
He wants to be the best person you’ve ever met in your life. Because you are his. He’s wanted nothing more than exact reciprocation from you.
To be found adequate by you. You are quietly kind. Discerning and passionate and full-hearted and stubborn and not without your own eccentricities that make you much less than normal just like him. You care for him, cleaning him up and getting him together. You’ve done much more for him than he’s done for you. You’ve never made him feel less than. And until recently, before he’d fucked it all up, you’ve been completely tolerant of his whims and questions and facts and jokes. Encouraging, even.
He remembers you in high school through a blurry, sparkling lens. You walk with notebooks in hand in slow motion for him, kicking a rock on the sidewalk as he watches you approach the bus. He pushes his glasses up.
You are so quiet in class. And on the bus, where you feel relieved of all that pressure, you crack open a bit. You laugh and you make him laugh. When you look away for a moment, his head lolls back against the bus seat and he looks at you without blinking. He gazes. And then he fixes himself, pushing those glasses up again.
He loved you then, of course. Like he had any other choice.
He loves you now. As if somehow his brain could forget the feeling.
His head has been pounding with you for so long.
He doesn’t— can’t understand why you do this to him. He doesn’t understand why people dislike him. He doesn’t understand why you do. He doesn’t understand how to say that he’s liked you in a way unfamiliar to him since you had eyeliner that went inside your eyes. Like, on the wet part on the bottom lid. Waterline, he thinks, maybe.
Vigilante is a sworn knight of Evergreen, but still he lives and breathes like a regular man. Souls and minds call to one another, bodies pull and push. These things are a certainty in this world. He has feelings. And these ones specifically; they’re telling him to act.
He’d never do what he’s about to do if you weren’t looking at him the way you are. He’s tried to familiarize himself with social cues. Books and YouTube tutorials and online forums. He thinks he knows this feeling.
Adrian lets out a steady exhale. Then,
A surging, blood-rushing push forward. He takes a step towards you, and he doesn’t have to travel very far to touch you. His hands go to the sides of your face, your ears in the divot between thumb and index finger.
He stoops slightly and brings his face to yours and kisses you, connects your faces with a quickness and unconcealed impatience.
The first press of mouth to mouth, before anybody’s lips start to ambulate… it’s searing and hard and you can feel your lips flushing with blood from the pressure of him and good christ, it’s intimate. Dark clouds have been circling for a week now. This is rain finally meeting the ground. You close your eyes and waste no more precious time being self-denying. You breathe it all in.
You touch his arms that cradle your head instinctively to stabilize yourself. Both hands linger there for a moment before they fly to his sides, and you grasp him, fingers digging into his shirt. You kiss him back. You feel the solid, warm person against you, filled with life. You long to know how his muscles clench and ebb, more than you already do.
He pours everything out into you. Every movement is full and firm but unsettled, like he’s only got a moment before you pull back and abandon this as you realize that you don’t even like him that way, that he’s misread this again.
You do pull back out of his steel grip for a second, but only to say,
‘M’sorry for yelling at you.’ Somewhere in the midst of the kiss, a welling teardrop had escaped you and rolled down your face. He hates it when you cry. But something tells him this isn’t the same as the other times. He smiles big and wide and open and his eyes are creasing so hard and just… alive with exultation. He’s got your head in his hands, faces inches apart.
‘Can I kiss you again?’
You nod feverishly while leaning back into him. You meet him there this time. Adrian’s fingers feed into your hair and one hand abandons ship there to land at the small of your back, and he presses your body to his.
The feeling is that as quick as it starts, it’s over, because you’re pulling back again to ask a very important question. He chases after your mouth, confused.
‘You shot yourself?’ You say looking up at him, still so close.
‘Well, like… a little bit.’
‘That’s so stupid.’ You can’t help but giggle through the sentence, covering your mouth and gasping softly for air at the end.
‘But… romantic, right?’
Another laugh rises from you. This would be a little creepy to other people and their expectations of love, you surmise. The thought barely registers, because you can’t bring yourself to care.
‘…Yeah.’ It’s a sweet word, chuckled out. It’s so light and buoyant. You are free of the weight and woe that dragged you down, and he’s missed you like this. He will still come home to you bloody on many occasions, as this is his calling, and it’s what he's passionate for. But probably less now, namely because he has no good reason to fucking shoot himself. You suppose that it’s all worth it now.
He mirrors you, giggles with his eyes closed.
‘What?’ You beam up at him.
‘You like me back.’ His shoulders shake with glee like a schoolboy.
‘I love you, Adrian.’
His smile drops and his eyes go wide, unable to hide the jolt he feels on his face.
‘Invite me in, please.’ Adrian looks at your lips, all seriousness in his voice. You pull him backwards, lips first, into the house with you. He sends the door slamming behind you with his heel.
The same song keeps playing over and over in Adrian’s head, and you start to hear it too. He tells you he loves you back, how much, and how long. Repeatedly. You’ll love each other right into the mattress tonight. And then tomorrow’s Monday, so you’ll both go to work. You’ll hate it the whole time, just this once. Because you know what’s waiting to pick you up in the parking lot.
PART TWO OF: 𝑯𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒚 𝑩𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒉𝒅𝒂𝒚, 𝑷𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝑫𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝑪𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝑴𝒆 𝑨𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏
SYNOPSIS: Two years since the final phone call, you find yourself face-to-face with Senku Ishigami for the first time in three years, as a mutual friend’s wedding brought you both toward a forced proximity you didn’t ask for. Somewhere between old promises, a newly discovered comet, and a proposal you have yet to know of, the distance you once thought had become permanent begins to suspiciously feel temporary again.
WC: 16,870 (Don't even ask anymore)
A/N: I AM FINALLY DONE, thank you all for patiently waiting. I SWEAR IT WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THIS LONG, GANG. I had to do research on comets before I did this cuz I wanted to make it as accurate as I could. PLEASE LISTEN TO "PURPLE RAIN" BY PRINCE ON REPEAT.
WARNINGS: It’s a happy ending, I SWEAR. Xeno playing cupid cuz nobody had the guts to, drinking (game with Ryusui), failed round of Uno, angst, fluff, crack, AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN.
Some comets take years before they become visible again. An example is the comet Encke, taking approximately 3.3 years to complete its orbit. Yet some take decades, such as the ever-famous Halley’s comet.
They slip quietly into the dark corners of space, far beyond what the human eye can see or follow, only to return brightly upon reapproach—as if distance itself had merely been part of their trajectory all along.
Which, scientifically speaking, was accurate.
Yet despite the distance and darkness that swallow them, they continue moving faithfully along the trajectories written long before anyone could notice them.
It is truly a transcendental experience to catch sight of a comet once it reappears near perihelion with enough brilliance to make humanity look up in awe—you could say it leaves you utterly starstruck.
Senku Ishigami swore his former mentor, Dr. Xeno Houston Wingfield, found the situation far too amusing once the news had reached the mission control center. Senku, currently located at the International Space Station, had accidentally discovered one, a comet, in the midst of monitoring an entirely different celestial object.
“How scientifically elegant, a long-period comet?” Xeno asked through the communication feed, eyes gleaming with amusement as he scanned the data Senku had delivered a while ago after his discovery.
Senku clicked his tongue softly, already running a series of Newtonian mechanics and Kepler’s law of planetary motion in his head. “Yeah, yeah, let me finish the math first before you jump to conclusions.”
Xeno chuckled, eyeing his former student from the screen. “I merely find it interesting how you spotted a different celestial body somewhere between asteroid trajectory calculations and endless streams of orbital data, just because you looked away for a moment.”
He took a sip from the mug of black coffee, nursed in one hand. “You had mentioned minutes ago that it is already brighter than Hale-Bopp’s comet when it was at that stage; shouldn’t you be saying ‘This is exhilarating’ by now?”
Senku laughed at his awful attempt to mimic a signature statement of his. “I think you should just stick to your ‘Science is elegant’. But you're right, it's exhilarating, especially after seeing how it compares to the reference data of Comet McNaught.”
Xeno hummed and nodded along, ignoring the chatter within the mission control room about how this could possibly be one of the greatest astronomical events of the 21st century.
“Yes…comparing it to the reference data of Comet McNaught, it is significantly brighter. Though we should've expected that after you mentioned it seems to be brighter than Comet Hale-Bopp, considering it's current stage.”
His eyes drifted back to the screen once again. “For someone who admits that it is exhilarating, you surely do not sound like it.”
Senku, who had finished comparing the current data he had collected and received back from Earth, snickered. “Save the doting for someone else, had enough of my old man’s already.”
Then quietly, “...I just happen to have a history with comets.”
Xeno raised a brow, an amused smirk resting on his face. A genius wasn't needed to guess what his former student was talking about. “Right, how could I forget that you've been a victim of Eros, considering how painfully obvious your yearning is.”
He took a sip of the mug he had in hand. “The complexity of love certainly teaches you a significant amount.”
Senku had to stop himself from rolling his eyes, out of respect. “What are you yapping about now?”
Xeno shrugged, yet the teasing in his voice was still noticeable. “Nothing. How did you discover it again?”
“Felt like looking away for a moment,” Senku replied flatly, already knowing that his defenses would be useless against him. Hence, he chose not to back up any of his claims.
“The potentially greatest astronomical event of the 21st century will be named after Senku Ishigami, what an elegant alignment of variables.”
Senku paused after hearing Xeno's words. Right, the comet would be named after him, as the official catalog protocols say.
“Does it have to be named after me?”
Before Xeno could even answer, another member of the mission control team beat him to it. “Once reported to the MPC and confirmed, discovery attribution would automatically fall to you, Senku.”
Xeno gaze shifted towards the person, “I’m certain Dr. Senku is familiar with standard astronomical cataloging protocols and institutional naming conventions, no need to remind him.”
Then his gaze returned to the screen. “He must be planning to propose an alternative designation.”
Xeno shrugged once more. “Let him be; he discovered it regardless. I'm sure they wouldn't mind a request from him.”
Perhaps that is why Dr. Xeno had found the entire situation tragically amusing.
Because Senku Ishigami—the man who dedicated his life to moving forward, striving for the future, towards progress, towards the stars themselves—had looked back simply because he thought of you for a moment.
He had Earth—the world—beneath him, the moon on one side; he had everything he had ever dreamed of as a child within eyesight, yet he still found the urge to look back for a moment. As if part of him was instinctively searching for something else.
And at the exact moment, something had decided to approach his orbit. And perhaps that was what made the comet feel strangely fitting. He had, after all, associated comets with you.
Because, despite the years of distance and silence between you two, you had always reappeared within his orbit somehow.
Ironically enough, the first time you had appeared in the orbit of his life wasn’t how he remembered it.
If it wasn’t for Yuzuriha, who told him over a long car ride home as you slept against his shoulder after a tiring day with you and Taiju, he would’ve suspected his whole life that you first met him in middle school, a year before the first successful launch of his homemade rocket. However, his assumption based on suspicion was brought down by Yuzuriha’s confirmation after she had revealed that your trajectory toward him had begun far earlier.
The first time it happened, you were six years old. A delusional six-year-old who happened to be curious about learning new words, as if you were collecting toys.
The playground you were always at with Yuzuriha felt like everything you could possibly need; the sky looked impossibly large above the swing set, and adulthood remained a mythical concept invented solely to confuse children. Or at least, that was how you saw it.
Unfortunately, that was also the age you had discovered the confusing concept of marriage. And you happened to take the revelation horribly.
“Why would people sign papers just because they like each other?” You asked in complete curiosity and disbelief as you kicked the ground, swinging gently beside Yuzuriha. “What if the guy turns ugly when he grows up?”
Yuzuriha blinked at you, surprisingly taking your question into consideration. “I think that's why marriage is for adults…It's so confusing.”
You looked up at the sky, hues of yellow blending perfectly as the sun began to set. “Well, I'm only marrying someone cute, that's for sure.”
The declaration alone should've been enough of a warning for the future that has yet to take place, yet somehow had already been set in stone.
Unfortunately, you have yet to realize that. Neither did Yuzuriha. You happened to be just a child with a dangerous level of curiosity at that time.
You kicked your legs idly once again before your attention drifted to somewhere else completely. And as if the universe had decided to play a trick against you, your eyes spotted a boy around your age, walking past the park entrance with an older man beside him.
You blinked slowly; your attention was inevitably captured. He had red eyes and a hairstyle you have yet to see before.
Suddenly, you felt something you hadn't felt before as a child. Your heart felt strange, though it wasn't the bad type of strange. It felt as if something inside your tiny six-year-old body abruptly did a flip.
“Oh.”
Yuzuriha turned to you curiously. “Hm? Did you realize something again?”
You pointed at the boy with a grin on your face. A very delusional grin. “Him,”
Yuzuriha turned towards the direction you pointed at. “Him?”
You nodded with full determination and confidence. “I wanna marry him.”
There was a brief moment of silence before you heard rustling sounds beside you. Yuzuriha had nearly fallen off the swing.
“What?!”
You smiled brightly at her as she looked at you with pure astonishment. “He's cute.”
“That's not how marriage works!”
You chose to ignore her, eyes drifting towards the boy once again as he continued to walk further away.
At the age of six, you had thought of two things impulsively. One, marriage was still confusing, yet the boy you had just seen made it less confusing for a six-year-old. Two, the boy with the gravity-defying hair was probably important somehow. You couldn't pinpoint why; it just felt like it. As if it were intuition.
Then life continued forward normally after. Years went by, years that didn't include catching a single glimpse of the boy again.
And eventually, he had disappeared from your memory like something half-forgotten from a dream.
Until middle school arrived. More specifically, until Yuzuriha suddenly started rambling about a loud boy whom she happened to find cute. And that loud boy happened to have a terrifyingly smart best friend who was set on building a homemade rocket.
“A rocket…? That's lowkey insane…” You repeated after a series of blinking in disbelief.
“Mhm!” She nodded enthusiastically while walking beside you. “Taiju-kun said Senku-kun has been working on it since he was ten.”
The moment you heard the name, something oddly familiar tugged a feeling within you. Yet you couldn't quite tell what, considering it was the first time you'd heard of that name.
Still, the feeling was drowned by your disbelief. A ten-year-old building a rocket? What kind of ten-year-old does that?
“Forget lowkey, that's highkey insane.” You blurted out, staring at her with a questioning face.
She rubbed the back of her head, “Haha, it's Senku-kun after all...”
Before you could respond, she suddenly grabbed your wrist the moment she spotted something from the corner of her eye. “There they are!”
Your eyes trailed to where she pointed her hand after grabbing your wrist. You spot two boys leaving a convenience store, one of whom is undeniably loud while the other is opening a can of energy drink with one hand.
Your breath caught slightly, between a quiet recognition and a loud awe as your eyes landed on the latter. It felt as if an old memory from years ago was suddenly unlocked.
He had the same questionable hair as he did years ago, same red eyes, though they were sharper compared to the soft, rounded ones you had spotted years ago.
Your footsteps came to a stop unconsciously, making Yuzuriha turn with a confused look on her face.
She blinked, stopping in her tracks as well. “What's wrong?”
“That's him,” You mumbled, eyes never leaving his figure.
“Who? Senku-kun?” She asked as her eyes drifted towards where you were looking, more confused than ever.
You turned to her, a laugh of disbelief escaping your lips as you gripped the straps of your backpack tighter. “...The guy I told you I'd marry back then when I was six.”
Yuzuriha blinked once before her eyes widened in delayed horror, making you laugh louder. “Oh my gosh—?!”
You stared ahead again, eyes automatically landing on him. Your mind was already wondering what kind of trick the universe was playing on you this time. Years of silence, thinking that memory was nothing but a dream— but no, he was suddenly within your orbit again.
Or perhaps you were within his orbit again.
Unexpectedly, his eyes shifted and met yours. You wanted to turn away after being caught burning holes into his figure, yet for some reason, you couldn't, as a warm feeling settled within every fiber of your being.
And still, despite everything, your verdict remained the same, besides one improvement. He was still cute in your eyes, though perhaps he was leaning more into the definition of handsome now.
Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Yuzuriha’s laughter as she stared between you and Senku.
“You remember that? No wonder he looked familiar when I first saw him.”
You broke eye contact with Senku to look at her with a grin on your face, “Guess you could say I was very committed to the vision. I did think of him for days after.”
She laughed again, tugging your wrist as a way of telling you to start walking with her again. “You only wanted to marry him because he met your qualifications that time, which was being cute!”
“And?” You shrugged with a smile on your face. “My intuition was already good at that age. I was delusional with a dream and one qualification.”
Yuzuriha visibly sweatdropped at your response while you snorted. “The feeling’s still here, y’know? Feels like it got revived, not gonna lie.”
“A feeling?” Her eyes widened. “Don't tell me—”
You cut her off with a nod, grin widening. “...I think I'm gonna marry him someday. My intuition’s stronger than ever.”
And perhaps that should've been the first recorded instance in history where someone had successfully dared to challenge Ryusui Nanami’s prided sailor’s intuition with nothing but a childhood delusion and an alarming confidence.
⋆⭒˚.⋆
Senku Ishigami had dreamed of reaching space nearly his entire life. The memory of his first rocket launches—which happened to be homemade with nothing but determination and curiosity, along with Xeno’s guidance—still lived vividly in the collection of his memories.
Yet when he had achieved his most sought-after dream, it felt oddly incomplete. No, he felt incomplete.
Because, despite such achievement, it felt muted in a way Senku would've never thought he could even experience.
Every achievement that came right after, the opportunities, the launches, and discoveries that made his reputation far greater than it already was, felt unfulfilling in a way.
It wasn't because science suddenly felt less— Senku could never consider that thought.
But it was simply because he had already lost the first person he wanted to ramble to after each achievement.
You had, after all, forcefully made yourself a veteran of his rambles regarding science and everything else he was passionate about.
And perhaps that was what had drawn him to you far more than his younger self would've thought. You listened to him without complaint, without impatience, and what made him fall harder was the fact that you listened because you genuinely wanted to.
Which was exactly why the silence left behind by your absence felt so unbearably loud most of the time. Even after three years since the breakup, and two years after the final phone call.
During the first year, he could barely process it, despite his terrifying IQ, as others say. His thoughts about it kept him up longer at night than any of his scientific ideas did.
And when he had chosen to let you go for the second time after you asked him to, for days, he couldn't stomach his decision. Regrets swallowed him again, drowning him with the thought of reaching out against your will. And he had to fight every neuron in his head that supported the thought.
Because Senku would rather drown countless times than to ruin you further just because he wanted to be selfish.
His eyes left the telescope, straightening his posture. He looked ahead, into the vast night sky, as if he could find an answer among the stars that stared right back at him.
Yet not a single constellation could. With a sigh, he loosened his tie, his hands slipping off his lab coat as he heard the doors of the observatory he had built into the walls of his house.
Chrome's voice reached his ears before Senku's eyes could even spot him. “Senku! Dr. Xeno said you discovered your own comet— that's so baaaad!”
Senku craned his neck, hand resting behind it as his gaze landed on him. “Yeah? How did you even get in here?”
Another voice appeared, followed by a familiar figure, before Chrome could answer the question.
“Your housekeeper let us in, Senku-chan.” Gen gave him a grin, eyes scanning the spacious observatory. “I must say, they did an amazing job maintaining the house for you.”
Senku chuckled at Gen's remark, eyes trailing to his laptop as the confirmation email regarding the naming of the comet he had discovered. Oh, how he loved maximizing his resources. “They were recommended by François after all.”
Chrome nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, and your house is so baaad, man. Like seriously, a whole observatory? I saw the garden too, it was insane!”
Gen's gaze landed on Senku, a teasing smile on his face. “Ah, he had a muse, Chrome. We shouldn't be too surprised.”
Chrome physically halted when he noticed a takeout cup near Senku. “What are you drinking at this time, Senku? Aren’t you more into energy drinks?”
Gen’s eyes trailed toward where Chrome was looking and spotted a takeout cup, from which Senku took a sip, and shrugged, not bothering to hide the evidence of his crime. That was when the mentalist noticed the printed customized order attached to it.
‘Ah, he must be missing her harder today.’ His eyes softened at the thought, a faint hint of pity. ‘It seems even the greatest scientist on Earth couldn’t be spared by the cruelty of yearning.’
Over the course of three years, Gen had noticed habits that formed due to Senku’s pining—the astronaut didn’t even bother to try to move on, and everyone saw through his silent grieving disguised as habits.
Such as the way he would lock himself up in the observatory of his house, staring at constellations for far too long, as if Orion could give him a direction to navigate his taunting thoughts. Or when he would order your favorite drink during nights he missed you far harder than he admitted loudly.
Or the fact that he has yet to miss a single comet visible from Earth, especially during those three years. Because over the course of three years, Senku had watched each event, photographing it and meticulously cataloging each image with dates and observational notes. As if he were collecting them for someone.
“Why are you two even here again?” Senku asked flatly, ignoring the claims, yet he didn't deny them either.
“Oh, Taiju said to meet up here, the others are on the way, actually. But that's half of why I'm here—” Chrome pointed an excited finger at him. “Senku, tell me about the comet!”
The astronaut chuckled schemingly with a face that made Gen want to run out of the observatory. “About the comet, you say?”
And that was how the mentalist had to sit through a rambling lecture about the celestial body. Gen had already been lost the moment letters became numbers, then numbers became letters; he let Chrome handle that part since he willingly dragged himself into it.
Though there was a fondness in his voice that Gen had noticed. Yes, Senku always sounded passionate whenever he rambled about something scientific, yet this one was different. It sounded the same way he would ramble about the moon.
And Gen had always wondered, what was there about comets that had drawn the astronaut the same way the moon did? Though he has yet to figure out why, since Senku would often dismiss it, and the only other person who knew the reason was Xeno, who refused to answer it along the lines of, “It isn’t my story to tell”.
“Senku-chan,” he called out, earning the attention of both scientists as they stopped mid-conversation. “I thought the moon was your favorite? Had picturing every comet visible from Earth finally taken an effect on you?”
Senku's lips curled into a soft smile, one so genuine that it surprised the two of them who saw it. “Yeah, the moon is my favorite.”
His voice trailed off, not bothering to answer the last part as a memory played in his head. Suddenly, he was sixteen again, hands setting up his telescope on top of a hill as you stood beside him impatiently.
“Hurry up, Senku! What if we miss it?!” You exclaimed eagerly, nearly bouncing off your feet.
He barely spared you a glance as his hands worked on the equipment. “Hah? I calculated the timing, we won't miss it.”
“Are you sure—”
He cut you off softly, moving away from the telescope to make space for you. “Come here and see this.”
With an excited face and every ounce of enthusiasm in your body, you gladly took his offer to check the telescope.
“Whoa, I can see the moon clearly.” You spoke in pure awe as Senku snickered beside you.
“It's a telescope, of course, you can see it clearly.”
You felt an irk mark form on your forehead as you pulled back to smack him lightly. “Okay, wow, thanks, genius.”
He grinned, rubbing the spot where your hand landed. Then he noticed the frown that appeared on your face.
“What's wrong?” He asked, concern was easy to spot in the tone of his voice.
You shook your head. “Nothing, just feels weird that we won't be seeing this comet for another— how many thousands of years again?”
“Six thousand eight hundred years, it's a once-in-a-lifetime event.” You remained silent, prompting him to speak again. “Cheer up, NEOWISE isn't the only comet you'll ever see.”
You looked away from the telescope and faced him with a look of skepticism. “Really?”
“Hah? Of course, really.” He looked nearly offended. “There are thousands of comets as of this year, and the number’s only increasing. Statistically speaking, you've got plenty left to see in your lifetime.”
You huffed a laugh at his response, yet the frown returned right after. “I know, but that number isn't my concern. I don't have a telescope and know many areas where there's a little less light pollution.”
Senku noticed it immediately and clicked his tongue. “Stop looking gloomy over comets.”
He adjusted a knob on the telescope before he gazed at you again, serious eyes looking straight at your doubtful ones.
“I'll show you every other comet myself if I have to.”
The way he said it sounded casual, as if it were more of a fact rather than a promise. Yet your heart still skipped a beat, as if Eros was around again. But then again, it was Senku. And promises came along easily as long as science was involved.
And before you could respond or calm down the sudden pace of your heart, Senku's gaze shifted upwards abruptly, crimson eyes narrowing towards the sky.
He turned to you with a grin, shifting his head as a signal for you to look too. “There it is,”
Your breath caught as your naked eye saw it, and Senku snickered quietly at your reaction. A soft streak of light stretched across the night sky, distant yet impossibly luminous all at once.
“Whoa,” you whispered in awe.
Beside you, Senku adjusted the telescope once more, fingers adjusting the focus and alignment with a precision that showed he had done it countless times already.
“Look through it from here,” he nudged you lightly before crossing his arms against his chest.
You leaned forward without hesitation. The moment your eyes met the lens, your breath nearly left you. The comet was undeniably breathtaking from the telescope.
“It's so beautiful, Senku…” you mumbled in awe, as if you could barely believe you were actually seeing one with such focus. If it weren't for him, you really would've never.
And perhaps it really was. Maybe comets were truly one of the most beautiful astronomical events that you could see during your lifetime.
But Senku barely looked at it—not after he saw that look on your face that made him physically unable to take his eyes off of you.
And before he knew it, the corners of his lips tugged into a soft smile, arms still crossed against his chest as his gaze undeniably softened.
“Yeah,” he murmured quietly as his gaze remained on you. “It really is.”
He really should've known that was the exact moment Eros had struck him. Because from then on, every comet had him thinking of you. And suddenly, gravity no longer felt like a scientific concept, but rather something catastrophic that pulled him towards you.
He couldn't help but wonder, were you still using the telescope he custom-built for you?
Perhaps that had been the problem when it came to loving him—you said it before yourself. His affection bled into science effortlessly, so that somewhere along the way, care translated into invention, and love became something he could build with his own two hands.
Love to the point of invention, or whatever that mentalist said.
And now, comets were the closest approximation of you he could ever observe again. The closest he could ever get to you was in the brief moments of the burning trails of comets as they tear across a space he could never reach.
“You good, Senku-chan? You seem lost in thought,” he heard Gen's voice slice through his reminiscing.
Senku chuckled quietly and shook his head. Yet before he could say something, they all heard loud footsteps before the doors of the observatory opened once more.
“Ha ha! You outdid yourself with the architecture of this house, Senku. Are you sure you don't care about aesthetics?” Ryusui's voice reached his ears as he stepped into the room, followed by Taiju and Ukyo.
Senku clicked the roof of his tongue. “Yeah? And since when did my house become the default meeting spot?”
“I think since you're usually the last to respond.” Ukyo sweat dropped at him as he took a seat next to Gen.
Ryusui ignored his questions and exclaimed loudly once again, snapping his fingers. “That's besides the point. Taiju wanted to announce something in person.”
The said man nodded enthusiastically, fists pumped up. “Everyone, Yuzuriha and I are finally getting married!”
⋆⭒˚.⋆
You should've seen it coming. Taiju, after all, had asked your permission to marry Yuzuriha, your best friend. Yet everything still felt surreal, as if time and growing up still felt like a concept you have yet to wrap your head around, as she tearfully asked you to be her maid of honor.
Everything simply moved too fast; it felt as if time didn't know how to stop, but that's reality, isn't it?
One moment, the two of you were children rambling about crushes beneath the heat that eloped a playground. Then suddenly, you were standing inside an expensive hotel room—thanks to a certain Nanami—struggling to zip up a custom-made dress while your best friend emotionally and mentally prepared herself to walk down the aisle in less than thirty minutes.
Reality truly did not spare anyone. Panic had struck every nerve in your body as you desperately tried to reach the zipper, yet it was stuck.
“Come on— seriously?!” You twisted awkwardly toward the mirror again, fingers desperately trying to reach for the zipper that was stuck halfway up your back.
Yet it refused to budge, and your patience was running thin. An idea appeared in your head. Then, you tried to pull the dress over your head instead—keyword: tried. That turned out to be the worst idea you could think of at the moment, and you questioned if your situation couldn't get any worse. Oh, if only you knew.
The fitted material that transitioned into something flowy once it passed your hips refused to cooperate, thanks to the intricate design and specific measurements of the dress. The moment you tried to force it upward, the carefully pinned curls your stylist spent an insane amount of time perfecting, nearly got caught against the inner lining.
You nearly shrieked in horror. You froze immediately. “Nope. Absolutely not happening after that long session of sitting still.”
If you had ruined your hair now, you would've cried, your hairstylist would've cried harder.
Which is why you were currently physically stuck inside of your own dress, alone inside of a hotel room you shared with Kohaku.
Your phone had unfortunately been inside your purse—which you had asked Kohaku to bring when she headed out after you had insisted she head to the venue first.
“Go ahead,” you told her earlier. “I just need to fix the zipper a little.”
Right, a little. You would've truly laughed if you weren't the one stuck in your current situation, but the universe seemed to be against your favor today.
You had to stop yourself from pressing both hands against your face. You didn't need your makeup artist crying along with you, and your hairstylist before the event itself could even start.
“This is so stupid—” then you heard the doorbell of the hotel room ring.
Your head snapped toward the hotel room beside you, and you nearly tripped on your own dress as you reached out to open the door.
“Kohaku?!” Relief flooded your system instantly as you carefully kept one hand against the front of your dress to prevent anything more unfortunate from happening. For a second, that is as.
Because the moment you opened the door, you nearly slammed it shut again out of pure shock. Standing outside of your room wasn't Kohaku, no. It was Senku. The sight of him was enough to knock the air from your lungs far more than you would’ve admitted.
Your brain had entirely failed to process the fact that he was in front of you while you regretted even questioning if your situation couldn't get any worse. The universe had unfortunately decided that today, you would rival the infamous luck of Senku Ishigami himself.
Three years— three years of not seeing his face properly, besides from the social media posts of mutual friends and news updates about the great Ishigami. Not to mention the photoshoots earlier. It couldn’t have been avoided, considering he was the best man and you happened to be the maid of honor.
And somehow, seeing him up this close felt far crueler than all the accidental glimpses from afar during the pre-wedding photoshoots earlier. If you hadn’t decided to act maturely—emotionally mature—during those photoshoots, you would’ve truly ruined your last line of defense.
Did you mention that the custom-tailored tuxedo complemented him so well? Yuzuriha truly outdid herself with the custom dresses and tuxedos. If it weren't for the fact that he was your ex-boyfriend for more than half a decade, you would've given your younger self a pat on the back for seeing the vision and sticking to it.
Senku blinked before his eyes trailed downwards briefly, then he immediately understood the situation. And as if there wasn't an emotionally gut-wrenching call that occurred two years ago, he had the audacity to snicker.
And that happened to offend you far more than your situation did, as your eye twitched at him. “Don’t laugh.”
“Wasn't planning to,” he tried to cover his twitching lips with a hand—a gold watch adorning his wrist—yet he failed miserably as another snicker escaped from him.
You narrowed your eyes, ignoring his offensive reaction and your quickened heartbeat. “Why are you even here?”
“Gen told me to check on you,” Senku answered casually, too casually, hand sliding back into his pocket. “Apparently, Kohaku got dragged into helping at the venue.”
Your eyes narrowed further suspiciously while you made a mental note to strike at the mentalist later on when you saw him. “...And how did you even know my room number?”
“Yuzuriha.” He answered instantly.
You blinked, mentally questioning if Yuzuriha and Gen had planned something between preparations. ‘Traitors. I'm surrounded by a bunch of traitors.’
You sighed in defeat as you were still half-hiding behind the hotel room door with only your head sticking out, and a bit of your torso, the rest of your body remained concealed inside the room.
An awkward silence settled over the two of you, and you visibly grimaced before clearing your throat. “Uhm…My zipper got stuck.”
“I could tell.” He replied as if it were the most obvious observation ever. And for a moment, you swore he was trying not to snicker again.
You glared at him, which made him sigh afterward, though the amusement lingered on his face. “You gonna let me fix it, or are you planning to miss the wedding?”
Your face burned instantly, and you nearly slammed the door shut in his face. Because logically speaking, yes, asking your ex-boyfriend to help zip up your dress after not seeing each other for three years should've felt absolutely horrifying.
Yet somehow, with a voice so small that tried to conceal any leftover dignity, you asked him. “...Can you help me?”
Senku's expression softened visibly, the amusement leaving his face. “Yeah.”
You stepped aside, allowing him inside as the door clicked shut behind him softly. The front of your body faced the mirror again as you turned around carefully. You tried not to overthink the situation, really.
And suddenly the room felt too small, too quiet. You saw him pause as he checked the situation of your zipper before his hands reached out. The movement that followed came naturally, as if he relied on muscle memory built on repeating the movement countless times. Which, truthfully, he had.
The moment his fingers brushed lightly against your back for a second as he freed the stuck fabric. Your breath got caught in your throat as you attempted not to flinch. You hated how familiar it still felt.
Because for years, you had tried to forget him, even when the sound of his voice haunted you with every memory and traces you had of him left, especially how he sounded that night. The desperation that was evident in his voice, the desperation that nearly made you want to try again.
And now he was standing behind you. Close enough to feel his cold fingers, close enough to smell the cologne he always wore, close enough to realize he was there.
“You got the fabric caught wrong,” Senku muttered as he quietly fixed it. “If you had forced it harder, you would've wrecked the stitching.”
“...Hah, the universe seems to love me today,” you attempted to joke to make the situation lighter and more breathable.
He let out an amused hum. Then, the zipper slid smoothly. It finished within seconds, yet somehow neither of you moved afterward. And for a terrifying moment, it felt as if three years was nothing. Three years of forcing yourself to move on, to which you failed without a doubt.
The mirror reflected you both perfectly, and you hated how your mind compared him to the version preserved in your memories—the last version of him that you still had, the last version of him that you still knew. Not the one you no longer did, the present one standing behind you.
What a painful reminder of love and loss, the past and the present, and the never-ending questions of what was and what could’ve been. It wasn’t fair to your attempts to move on, but then again, the heart sometimes lingers on what once was.
He looked older, not drastically, just enough for you to make a conclusion that he had buried himself in far more projects than he had before. There were traces of change, traces that made your mind question if he was still the Senku you knew.
Then, he took the initiative to move back first. “There, all fixed.”
And somehow, that felt reassuring enough that he still was—or even just a part of him still was—as he has yet again, fixed something for you. Still the same Senku that your heart recognized instantly.
You swallowed painfully, avoiding his gaze. “Thank you…”
“It was inefficient not to.” He replied, and you nearly laughed in a bittersweet manner at how the reply sounded so much like him.
Three years. Three years, and somehow, he still sounded the same, even when there were evident traces of change.
And a painful realization had settled through every fiber of your being. Because seeing him again confirmed something you didn’t want to admit—not because of pride, but of fear. The fear of losing yourself as he constantly chased something else. The confirmation that, despite all the time that passed, all the attempts of forgetting him, loving him had never truly become a past tense thing.
Against your own weak will, your thoughts drifted toward the memory of the final phone call. Etched in the collection of your memories with a terrifying strength. The one with the final birthday greeting and goodbye. The one where you told him not to call again, and he didn’t.
The one that left you both grieving opposite ends of the same loss and future.
You wondered if he still remembered it— no, without a doubt, he did with that absurdly good memory of his, but did he think of it the same way you did? The same way you did on nights that felt quieter and heavier, caused by the constant grieving of what once was and could’ve been?
You wondered if the words exchanged that night haunted him the same way they haunted you in an endless cycle. And the thought hurt far more than it should have.
Senku had noticed the deafening silence that you had as he glanced at his wrist watch. “We should head down before they send someone else to check on us this time.”
You blinked and stared at him for a brief second. Then you nodded, quickly looking away as you fought the sting building in your eyes.
“...Yeah,” you murmured, blinking away the tears that threatened to blur your vision. “Let’s go.”
⋆⭒˚.⋆
The wedding reception somehow felt even louder than the ceremony itself as the after-party bled through the night.
Music echoed throughout the ballroom, while laughter continuously flowed throughout the room, as well as the clinking of glasses and distant chatter from different tables.
There were more people than you thought. You were surprised—at the same time not—when you spotted Byakuya and Xeno talking from a distance before they called you for a brief moment. Stanely was kept occupied by Ryusui, as the younger man kept asking him questions about aviation and aim. Which you found insane, considering it was all for the younger Nanami’s prize possession of games that his older brother programmed.
Honestly speaking, it should've felt comforting. It was, most of the time it was. You've lost count of how many packets of tissues you went through while trying not to ruin your makeup as you cried at the scene of your best friend getting married.
Not to mention the speech you had to say. Though you had gone through a whole glass of champagne before you did, it barely helped as your voice cracked at the first word of your speech.
And after that, a certain thought that you successfully held down throughout the ceremony had broken through your defenses once the after-party started.
The first time it appeared was when you saw him walking down the aisle as the best man. And for a brief moment, you couldn't help but wonder, what if he had been walking down the aisle of his own wedding—your wedding?
He could've been walking down the aisle to wait for you, you could've been walking down the aisle to meet him, toward a lifetime of quiet devotion disguised as efficiency and practicality. Toward fixed problems before you could even notice them. Toward customized inventions. Toward a lifetime of gazing at the stars and astronomical events with him, and promises spoken so casually as if he could make them come through with a snap of his fingers.
And suddenly, all you could think about was the gut-wrenching thought that there was once a version of your life where that could've been real. And that version still haunted you more than the present you were living in.
Perhaps that was why you were aggressively set on proving Ryusui wrong as you participated in a drinking game with him, one filled with rounds of expensive whiskey and a forgotten round of Uno—to which you still questioned who randomly pulled up with a deck.
Still, it ended after a long hour of one round, after Gen tried to change the rules numerous times, after Tsukasa had fallen victim to the plus four cards for a terrifying amount of time, and after friendships nearly ended. Now, the two were a few tables away, watching as Chrome tried to learn a certain dance from some guests all the way from America: Max and Carlos.
Of course, Taiju wanted to join in and learn it as well. Which led to Yuzuriha looking for you and her other bridesmaids.
“You're losing momentum!” Ryusui laughed loudly from across the table with scattered Uno cards, clearly enjoying himself far too much. “What happened to all the confidence earlier?”
You slammed your glass down aggressively, already plotting to ask Sai to hack his games later on. “Shut up, Ryusui.”
Ukyo visibly sweat dropped as he picked up the cards across the table. “This is clearly not going to end well.”
Somewhere within all the noise, Senku remained quieter than everyone else. He had initially been nursing a drink offered to him by Xeno, and refilled by his old man after he was told to loosen up.
Though you had noticed him, and of course, you tried to ignore him every single time you did.
Another cough escaped through your lips suddenly as your hand clutched the edge of the table. Your throat burned afterward, and you questioned if the alcohol was that strong.
Ryusui noticed, as well as the painful lingering glances that were indirectly exchanged between you and his other friend. He pointed a finger at you accusingly. “Oi, you've been coughing for nearly an hour now.”
Your brows furrowed as you stared at him. “Hah? I'm fine.”
His eyes narrowed suspiciously. “You also said that while shivering twenty-six minutes ago.” He turned to Ukyo. “Am I wrong?”
Ukyo shook his head, to which you shot him a glare and mouthed, “I thought you were on my side.”
You then returned your gaze to Ryusui. “The temperature of the event room is too cold, of course, I'll be shivering, considering I’m not wearing full sleeves like you men.”
Ryusui's eyes trailed farther behind you. They landed on Senku, and immediately, the two communicated through eye contact.
You didn't say a word, barely noticing that he was communicating with Senku, not until someone took the newly refilled glass in your hand before your lips could make contact with it.
You blinked, the alcohol fogging up your brain, making a dangerous combo with the feverish headache you were having. “...Hah?”
You turned immediately and blinked again when you saw him stripped from the tuxedo jacket, which he held with one hand while the other held your glass.
“You've had enough.” He declared softly, leaving no room for argument—you tried anyway.
You frowned instantly. “No, I haven't.”
“You have,” he repeated flatly as Ryusui looked far too entertained across the two of you.
Your frown deepened. “Since when do you decide that?”
“Since you started coughing like your lungs were filing a complaint for your liver.” He shot back, hands already reaching out to wrap the jacket around your frame.
Ryusui snorted loudly while Ukyo had to stifle his laugh. You still glared at both of them.
You faced Senku with a determined look on your face. “I can still drink.”
You were, however, completely ignored as he pressed the back of his hand against your forehead. Your entire body froze at the familiar gesture. Far too familiar.
His brows furrowed as he confirmed his suspicion. “You're burning up,”
You shook your head. “No, it's the alcohol—” you were cut off by a harsh round of coughs, your hand instinctively reaching out for the vest around his waist, clutching the fabric for support.
His hands held you in place as you coughed violently, pushing your hair away from your face gently. “That checks out another thing.”
He signed heavily afterward before grabbing your belongings nearby, to which Ukyo gladly assisted him. He grabbed your purse, then your lip gloss that somehow made its way out of your purse, then your smartphone, then the abandoned heels you had removed hours ago after your feet begged you to sit down.
It was genuinely frightening how effortlessly he slipped back into taking care of you, as if three years were merely nothing in the eyes of Senku Ishigami.
“I can walk on my own,” you argued weakly, already standing up. Yet the moment you did, your knees betrayed you, and you reached for the nearest support, which happened to be his arm.
“Yeah…I don't think that's happening.” Ukyo remarked silently beside Ryusui, who was snickering.
“That didn't count.” You argued weakly again. Senku merely stared at you blankly, one hand holding your purse along with your heels.
“Sure.” He replied flatly.
That was when Nikki had appeared with a stern look on her face, though she was tipsy herself. “And where exactly are you taking her?”
“To rest,” Senku replied without sparing her a glance as he adjusted an arm against you.
Her eyes narrowed. It was honestly hard to even consider Senku doing something weird. He was undeniably far from Ginrou, who had tried to flirt with other female guests earlier. Yet still, her concern for you swallowed the thought.
“...You better not do anything suspicious, Senku.”
Senku looked at her with an unimpressed look. If anything, he looked offended, too. “Seriously? She's running a fever of around thirty-eight degrees and can barely stand.”
That was all Nikki needed to hear. And before another argument could start—especially from you— Senku had lifted you into his arms.
You blinked, confused. “...Huh? Aren't you a twink? How?”
And you swore you saw his eyes twitch visibly as Ryusui and Nikki burst out laughing far too loudly than they should've.
“Physics and astronaut training teach you a lot.” He responded flatly as he adjusted his grip around you once again before staring down at you with a softness in his eyes that a somehow sober part of you wished he didn't have. “You're sick, argue tomorrow.”
You felt your face burn warmer than your body as you instinctively clutched onto him, hiding your face into his shoulder blades and definitely staining his dress shirt with your makeup. And he didn't mind, of course, he didn't.
The moment you and Senku had successfully exited the ballroom, Ryusui looked around at the sober parts of the crowd who pretended as if they weren't listening to the whole interaction that had just unfolded.
Well, unfortunately for some—specifically Gen and Yuzuriha—weren’t exactly so slick at it as they somehow appeared at a closer table than before.
With a confident grin, Ryusui declared loudly. “I bet a hundred thousand yen they'll reconcile by tomorrow!”
⋆⭒˚.⋆
The pounding headache arrived before your memories did, as your consciousness finally returned. You felt a relentless ache throb the second you did, followed by a weak groan from your throat. Your body felt unbearably warm despite the cool air surrounding the room, and your throat felt painfully raw from coughing all night.
Slowly, your eyes cracked open as your hand reached out for the bedside table instinctively. However, for some reason, you couldn’t feel it, as if it was farther from what you were used to. Your eyes shifted, and it was indeed farther away.
Then you halted as a realization settled through as your hands touched the bed weakly. The bed was king-sized, and as far as you remember, your hotel room had two double beds since you shared it with Kohaku.
A wave of confusion washed over you as you propped yourself up against the soft pillows; the sudden movement shot pain through your limbs instantly. Instinctively, you grasped the comforter tightly as you took a moment to focus, trying to make sense of the overwhelming sensations and your new surroundings.
Soft morning light seeped through the curtains, painting pale streaks across the floor and the desk near the window. And that was when you finally noticed him. Senku Ishigami sat slumped in a chair, legs stretched slightly on top of the desk as his head tilted awkwardly against the backrest. One arm rested loosely across his stomach while the other hung limply at his side.
And if it weren’t for your baffled and horrified expression, you would’ve nearly grimaced at the sight of the uncomfortable position he was in. How could someone as logical as him just settle for a sweater and sweatpants to protect him from the cool temperature of the room, not to mention the deeply uncomfortable position he was sleeping in?
Bits and pieces of what had unfortunately unfolded last night resurfaced through the haze in your head. The after-party. The drinking competition with Ryusui, that obviously would lead to your doom, yet you were too stubborn to back down. The memory of Senku having to physically stop you before you fully gave in to self-destruction.
Your mortification burned hotter than your fever as you recalled how you nearly vomited on him after a round of painful coughing. Yet based on the memory that returned, he was as patient as ever when it came to taking care of you.
Your eyes lingered on him again, and faint traces of dark circles settled beneath his closed eyes, more visible than usual due to the soft morning light. His brows remained slightly furrowed even in his sleep, suggesting that he hadn’t rested properly at all.
Had he stayed up late because of you?
The thought made you frown as a wave of guilt struck you hard enough to make your chest twist painfully. You were no longer his responsibility, hence why?
Carefully, you tried to move toward the edge of the bed even as pain shot throughout your body. The mattress creaked from your sudden movement. Just then, Senku stirred awake, his eyes snapping open with an alertness built from a restless night.
His eyes immediately landed on you, his exhaustion vanishing almost instantly that it shocked you.
“...Hey,” His voice sounded rough with sleep as he stood up. “Don’t move around too much.”
Your stomach flipped slightly at how fast he reacted, already moving toward you with an undeniable concern that made your grip on the comforter tighten. And for a moment, your heart was speaking louder than your head.
“You’ve got a fever, a terrible cough, and a hangover that could’ve been completely avoided if Ryusui didn’t indulge you in his acts.” He muttered while walking over. “Lie back down before your condition worsens.”
“Senku—” You tried to call out, yet your voice cracked midway and triggered another cough.
The moment you doubled over slightly, Senku’s expression sharpened instantly. “Easy,”
A hand gently held your shoulders to steady you while the other grabbed a bottle of water positioned and untouched on the bedside table—already prepared.
“Slowly,” He instructed softly while bringing the bottle closer to your lips.
You took a few careful sips before finally managing to speak again. You gazed at him with confused eyes. “...Why am I here?”
Senku blinked once while twisting the bottle cap back on. Though before he could respond, you beat him to it with another remark. “This isn’t my room…”
“Yeah, obviously. It’s mine.” He replied, a faint hint of amusement evident in the tone of his voice as he met your bewildered gaze.
You nearly shrieked. Unfortunately, what came out instead was another terrible, violent coughing fit. The pain tore through your throat as your cough happened to be dry.
Senku clicked his tongue immediately as he pushed the strands of your hair that fell and covered your face. The gesture felt so natural it nearly made your heart ache again. “You really aren’t beating the ‘barely functioning’ allegations right now.”
“Why am I in your room?!” You rasped out between coughs as you briefly glanced at him.
His eyes softened as they stared straight at you. “Your room was farther, your condition was and is still terrible, the others were drunk and in no fit condition to take care of you— Do you want me to keep going?”
He crossed his arms; the tone of his voice held a mix of concern and annoyance. Though the annoyance was overshadowed by his concern and the way he gazed at you softly.
“Kohaku got drunk and lost your keycards. Ryusui took time to fix the situation, and my room was closer.” He spoke so matter-of-factly as if the situation didn’t sound absurd at all.
You stared at him. “You could’ve just left me there—”
“Yeah?” he cut in immediately. “And who would’ve taken care of you?”
You opened your mouth, yet nothing came out. You could still recall how most of your friends were too busy enjoying themselves—and you knew how useless it was to argue against Senku when logic was involved.
He moved back to grab the thermometer on the bedside table, which made you curious about where he got it.
Your eyes followed his movement with curiosity. “Where did you get that? Do you just have one lying around anytime?”
He shook his head and sat on the edge of the bed, near you. “Made Gen and Ryusui take a trip to the nearest store.”
If it weren’t for the weight of your current situation, you would’ve snickered at his answer.
Then, he moved closer to check your temperature. “Your fever reached thirty-nine degrees last night after you coughed loud enough to wake half the floor. You nearly threw up on me twice.”
You stared at him in horror. “Twice? I only remember once.”
He softly flicked your forehead, “That’s the alcohol messing with your brain after that nonsense with Ryusui.”
You groaned and buried your face in your hands. Part of it was from embarrassment from the stupid act, and another part was from remembering the reason you indulged in it in the first place.
“Tch. Don’t do that.” He immediately pulled your hands away from your face before you could rub your eyes. “You’ve already got enough health issues, no need to add more to the list.”
The familiarity of the motion has made your chest tighten again, and you couldn’t muster the strength to look at him. Well, not until another realization washed over you.
“...Why am I wearing different clothes?” You blurted out as another horrified look settled on your face. And you swore you saw him pause briefly.
“Relax before your brain starts making dumb assumptions.” He replied with a flat tone. “I called Nikki to bring your pajamas and help you change after Ryusui dealt with the keycards situation.”
The tension in your body dissolved so quickly it nearly made you dizzy. You exhaled in relief as you felt the stress lift from your shoulders. Though there was still a quiet, heavy weight that remained in your chest from the thought that he still cared after all this time.
Another painful reminder of the ache of unspoken words lost to time.
Senku narrowed his eyes at your expression. “The hell were you assuming?”
You quickly shook your head, triggering a painful throb from your headache. And as if it were a chain reaction, that made him click his tongue. “I told you not to add more problems to your list, didn’t I?”
You ignored his scolding as your eyes shifted to the chair he was initially at. “You slept there the whole night?”
He tilted his head, and you pointed at the chair behind him. His head turned before returning to meet your concerned gaze. He nodded casually, “Yeah.”
And before you could ask why, he was already on his feet again. “Focus on recovering first and don’t move too much.”
He walked toward the desk and grabbed his keycard before shoving it into his pocket. “Then, he turned to you one last time. “I’m getting breakfast. Don’t leave the room.”
“You don’t have to—”
“You need to eat something before taking meds.” He interjected firmly, leaving no room for an argument as his figure faded from your vision. And the last thing you heard was the soft click of the door closing.
⋆⭒˚.⋆
If there was something Senku should’ve taken into account, it should’ve been your terrifying stubbornness. Especially when the situation involved you locked in a room, alone with your thoughts that refused to go down without a fight.
You had lasted exactly ten minutes, on the dot. Ten minutes of staring at a television that played the morning news, yet you were barely listening to it. Instead, you were thinking—thinking far too hard for someone suffering the weight of a headache.
Because what exactly were you supposed to do right after this? Pretend none of it happened? Pretend he hadn’t been sleeping upright in a chair just so he could give you the whole bed to yourself? Pretend he hadn’t stayed awake monitoring your condition when the evidence was visible on his face? Pretend he hadn’t somehow made the task of moving on infinitely harder within the span of a single night?
Because how were you supposed to just move on again after this?
The thought made your chest ache far more than your head did.
With a frustrated sigh, you forced yourself to leave the bed even when your body was practically telling you not to by shooting pain throughout your muscles. Your hand reached out for your cardigan that you found on the room's sofa. You had assumed Nikki must’ve brought it last night.
You wrapped your body around it before quietly slipping out of the room, ignoring the voice in your head that was running through the possibilities of how a certain Ishigami would react.
As you made your way to the ground floor with the interest of checking the hotel gardens and everything that appeared in your way—anything to take your mind off of him, really.
The hotel grounds were quite peaceful, which didn’t surprise you since noon was still a few hours away. Most of the wedding guests were either sleeping off their hangovers or enjoying the amenities scattered around the place. Though you could easily guess that the majority of them chose the former.
You found yourself wandering toward the outdoor pool area before you could reach the gardens. You hoped the change of scenery and the far lessening feeling of being caged in a room would help.
News flash, it didn’t. Especially since a familiar voice entered your line of hearing.
“I was expecting you to still be asleep, or Senku-chan was hovering around you like a doctor.”
You nearly jumped, one hand clutching the fabric of your shirt around your chest area as you turned to Gen. “He is a doctor.”
“Yes, in astrophysics and chemistry.” He grinned, eyes scanning your state, which clearly screamed that you were sick. “I meant a medical one.”
Your nerves calmed down as you hit him weakly as the two of you began walking together. “Thought you knew he got a degree in biology too, out of curiosity.”
Gen sweat dropped beside you as he sipped his cup of coffee. “Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten how he wanted to major in all sciences for fun.”
There was a moment of silence that enveloped the two of you as you walked past the pool area, with far more greenery entering your line of sight. The silence wasn’t heavy, unlike your thoughts that refused to remain silent.
Gen slowed his pace to match yours. The last thing he wanted to encounter was having to explain to an overprotective scientist why you’d return looking ready to collapse.
“You shouldn’t be out here, you know?” His voice cut through the peaceful silence.
Your head shifted to stare at him. “I’m trying to escape my thoughts about him and him. Please stop sounding like him.”
He blinked before realization settled over his head. “...You didn’t tell him you went out?!”
Your eyes narrowed at his sudden, horrified reaction. “I thought you knew I didn’t? Do you think Senku would let me leave?”
He waved his hands frantically. “I considered that thought, but I also considered the thought of him letting you get fresh air!”
Then, he tried to turn your direction back to the hotel by grabbing your shoulders, “We should head back before your doctor kills me!”
You pulled away, wrapping your cardigan tighter around you. “He’ll be mad either way since I already left when he told me to stay still.”
Then you looked at him with a tired expression on your face, eyes pleading faintly. “...Just accompany me and do your psychological mentalist stuff, please.”
He sighed before nodding along. “He must be losing his mind right now if he has already returned.”
You hummed; a trace of guilt was evident. “He went to get me breakfast, and I’m sure he went to Francois since he used to have a modified list of foods for whenever I was sick.”
Your hands brushed against the rows of flowers slightly. “It gives me enough time to clear my thoughts about him before returning.”
“And enough time before he sends a full search team?” Gen added with a dramatic tone.
You snickered, “Hey, I doubt he’ll react that excessively.”
Then, with a sudden, serious yet soft voice, Gen spoke, “Can I say something I shouldn’t?”
You glanced at him briefly and grinned softly. “Go ahead, I asked for your psychological mentalist stuff, didn’t I?”
He paused for a moment before smiling faintly. “...I think everyone was shocked when you two ended.”
Your grin faltered as you averted your gaze, casting your eyes toward the expansive view. Gen sensed the shift in your mood and chose to continue carefully after your reaction. “It wasn’t because relationships ending was unusual, that’s normal in life.”
“But because you two felt strangely permanent.” He added, voice laced with nostalgia.
And somehow, the last part made your chest ache once again. Now you were starting to question how many more of those you would have to go through for the remaining time of the day.
You halted for a moment, sensing the emotion in his voice. “The way you say it makes me think you grieved our relationship, too.”
He wheezed slightly, hand covering his mouth. “Hah…You should’ve seen how Chrome reacted to it, especially on the night of Senku-chan’s first birthday after the breakup. He was set on knocking some sense into him.”
A bitter snicker escaped your lips, tinged with sarcasm. The memory of the final phone call burned in your head. “You make it sound like we died, Gen.”
“Maaaybe a little,” He admitted lightly, but the teasing glint in his eyes softened. “You should’ve seen how he was after the breakup.”
You raised a brow, a weak laugh escaping you, laced with disbelief.“That bad?”
He frowned, shaking his head slightly. “Don’t act like it wasn’t for you as well. Yuzuriha filled me in on what happened on your side.”
You abruptly halted, a dangerously suspicious expression settling on your face. “Is that why you sent him to my hotel room yesterday? I knew it, you and Yuzuriha were plotting something.”
Gen merely took a slow sip of his coffee, acting all innocent as you glared at him. “Whatever could you mean? We were just worried about you, you know?”
Your glare intensified, and you lightly jabbed his side. “I also haven’t forgotten that you tried to manipulate your way into changing the rules of Uno last night.”
With an exaggerated shrug, he smiled innocently. “Details, details.”
Then, his voice dropped into something far more serious. “I’ve never seen him so incomplete after you.”
Your gaze softened, yet your fingers gripped the hem of your cardigan tightly, a familiar pang tugging at your heart. “...You give me too much credit, Gen. Senku is still Senku without me.”
For a fleeting moment, Gen was tempted to disagree and argue. Because yes, Senku was still the Senku that everyone knew. He still chased science with the same frightening intensity. He still spent ridiculous hours inside laboratories. Still reached for the future of science with both hands—
But Gen had known and observed the scientist for far too long. He saw the way his excitement barely lingered around the same way it used to, the way his achievements felt more like checkpoints than victories.
Gen saw the way his silence settled in places that used to be filled with your laughter, even when he was constantly moving forward. Constantly moving forward with science, but never from you.
Yet Gen had to swallow the urge to play cupid for now because he saw the way your body was still physically recovering. And he was certain the mad scientist would come for him if he had done something to aggravate your condition.
Hence, he chose not to push further. That was when he looked ahead and spotted familiar figures. “Ah, there they are.”
You mimicked his action the second the golf course came into view. Further ahead, you caught sight of Ryusui and Stanley playing while Xeno stood nearby, nursing a cup of tea.
“This hotel seriously had everything, doesn't it?” You murmured to Gen as you two approached the three.
Gen nodded knowingly right next to you. “It is owned by the King of Greed himself. Of course, he would desire to have everything in his hotel.”
The two of you shared a laugh before reaching the spot where the three were.
Ryusui noticed you immediately and grinned. “Well, well! Look who survived! I was starting to think the alcohol hit you well last night.”
You playfully rolled your eyes as you adjusted your cardigan. “Nice joke, Ryusui.”
Xeno’s eyes studied you briefly before he struck a question. “Tea? It can help soothe your symptoms.”
You tilted your head, wondering how he knew. And as if he had read your mind, he spoke again. “Ah, Senku spoke of them an hour after the after-party.”
Now you were beginning to question just how long he stayed awake last night just to take care of you?
Somehow, you had agreed to Xeno's offer for tea as the two of you sat beneath a shaded area overlooking the golf course. Gen had chosen to stay with the other two to watch their friendly match.
For a while, the conversation remained surprisingly casual. It was easy to talk to Xeno, considering how you had known him since your earlier years spent in high school after you found out that Senku had a mentor across the world.
The conversation circled around the wedding, your current career path, and then the deadly combination of a fever, cold, and hangover.
Until it no longer circled around those, and somehow took a turn into a topic you've been avoiding.
“You and Senku remain painfully obvious, by the way,” Xeno stated flatly while stirring his cup of tea with a teaspoon.
Though his statement made you nearly choke on the tea you were drinking. So much for apparently “soothing” your symptoms.
“Hah?!” You let out a violent cough while quickly setting your tea cup down.
Yet he continued as if you weren't close to choking. “Your pupils dilate every time his name is mentioned or every time you glance at him from across the room. You didn't think you were subtle, did you?”
You stared at him in disbelief before attempting to dismiss his observation. “I don't know what you're talking about.”
His eyes narrowed down at you. “What a poor attempt to lie. Your nervous system doesn't lie, science doesn't lie.”
You let out a frustrated groan, aggressively sipping your tea while choosing to ignore his response.
Xeno exhaled out what sounded like an exhausted sigh. “Truthfully speaking, I can't quite tell if Senku's painfully obvious yearning is worse than yours. It was insufferable having to see it with your own eyes whenever he was in America.”
You blinked, hands slowly placing your tea cup down to your lap. “...Yearning?”
He let out a look of disbelief, mentally questioning if you couldn't get any more oblivious. “You didn't assume he was yearning for you to come back?”
Your face twisted into something taken aback. “Well, I hate assuming unless stated—”
He interjected firmly, “Not even after he nearly begged for you to try again that night?”
Now you were bewildered at his choice of words. “Begged is a strong word, Senku doesn't exaggerate like that!”
Xeno looked baffled at your comment. “I expected that you, of all people, would know the lengths he would go for you.”
He placed his tea cup down with a sigh. “I was aware of it myself, considering he spent quite a long time in America for his doctorate. However, he surprised me further with that comet stunt he pulled.”
Your confusion only grew further, completely unaware of what he was talking about now.
Xeno blinked. “Are you not into comets? I can vividly recall Senku informing me that you adored watching them.”
You looked down silently. “Yeah, I used to— Well, I still do, I just don't watch them anymore because they remind me too much of him.”
You glanced at him briefly. “He was the one who got me into them, y’know?”
He visibly paused. “How tragic…The same goes for him.”
You tilted your head, confused yet again. “Hah?”
Xeno leaned forward, “Say, are you aware of the new potentially greatest astronomical event of the 21st century?”
You narrowed your eyes in confusion. “I'm not updated with any of those. Senku used to be the one making my calendars.”
“Of course he was.” You heard him mutter out before continuing. “There's an extremely bright comet bound to reach perihelion in two years or so. Senku was the one who discovered it.
“At NASA, we follow the standardized naming guidelines, such as naming it after the discoverer.” He then stared straight at you. “Though Senku named his comet after you.”
Your brows knit together instantly, nearly dropping the teacup in your hand. “...He what?”
“He named the comet he discovered after you.” He repeated casually, as if he didn't just drop a bomb of information right at you. “Truthfully speaking, he managed to easily request it after negotiating with the higher-ups. What a romantic way to make use of his reputation, don't you think so?”
You were far too baffled to answer. “...Why would he do that?”
Xeno adjusted his glasses. “You'd have to ask him yourself. Though if I were to hypothesize— he was thinking of you.”
He gazed at you again. “Were you not always like a comet in his life? Disappearing then returning to his orbit after years. He had always considered you as someone who brightened up his days, even when he didn't admit it out loud. It was evident enough.”
“I need you to understand the weight of the information.” Then, he leaned back and took a slow sip of his tea. “He was in the ISS when it happened. He had the world beneath him, the moon near him, the vastness of space surrounding him— and yet he thought of you.”
Your breath caught as your brain was slowly processing the large pieces of information suddenly given to it. Yet your heart was pacing faster than ever.
For the last two years, you had thought he had moved forward with his life after the final phone call. How couldn't you after hearing his name on the news every now and then? He had achieved far greater things even without you—how could you not think he chose to move forward after you told him to?
Your chest ached painfully. How could it not after learning that even after everything, the breakup, even after achieving the dream he had spent almost his entire life chasing—a part of him still curved back to you?
Xeno glanced at you, observing your reaction. He knew his mentee would not be pleased to know that he chose emotional psychological warfare so early in the morning, considering your condition.
Yet what had to be done had to be done.
He paused, thinking over the next set of words he was about to tell you.
“It's such a shame the ring was never used.”
His words hung in the air, heavy and suffocating, and your entire body stilled as you stared at him with something unreadable. You swore you felt your heart falter for a moment as the weight of his words settled through.
“...What?” You managed to blurt out, though your voice was faint.
His eyes narrowed slightly behind his glasses. And this time, he was also confused. It had been almost four years since the ring had appeared in the picture; shouldn't you have known it by now?
“You still don't know?”
The world seemed to stop as every other sound became distant. Everything blurred together, yet your heartbeat didn't as it slammed violently against your ribs.
“What…?” You repeated painfully.
Xeno's brows furrowed as his realization washed over him. You were clueless, genuinely clueless that it caught him off guard.
“You really don't know.” He confirmed loud enough that the three who were pretending not to eavesdrop heard.
You looked back at the other three as they exchanged knowing glances. And that was enough for you to conclude that they knew. They knew information that involved your own life, yet you didn't.
“What ring?” Your voice came out sharper this time. Desperate and demanding for an answer.
“What ring, Xeno?” You repeated desperately as panic began to build up within your nerves.
He paused as he carefully considered whether he should answer your question. Because he was aware that one wrong move could potentially kill the remaining chances of mending what had been broken.
Then finally, he exhaled while silently hoping the decision he made was the right one. “The engagement ring he traveled across three continents to make.”
Everything felt like it stopped this time for real as you stared at him with eyes that blurred from the burning tears that threatened to fall—the burning tears you failed to notice.
For a moment, your brain simply refused to acknowledge what he had just told you. It absolutely couldn't. You had spent years convincing yourself of a different reality, and now you were hearing information that contradicted the whole thought completely.
“He was planning to propose…?” Your voice finally cracked through as you held back a sob that threatened to escape.
Your stomach twisted violently after hearing your own words. Because suddenly memories were resurfacing—memories that connected the dots you failed to notice.
Multiple memories burned through your head, yet the ones that burned the most were his promise to show you every other comet, the news that he built the house you had talked about over what you thought was just a forgotten memory in his head, and the way he sounded desperate to try again during the final phone call.
He was planning to propose, yet you had given up on him before he could.
“...I believe,” he began slowly as he placed his tea cup back on the table. “It would be better if Senku answered that for himself.”
You stood so abruptly that the chair nearly toppled over behind you. And for a moment, the world tilted. The sudden movement sent a violent pulse of pain through your head, making your vision blur for a brief moment.
Your fever and headache immediately protested, yet they weren't enough to silence the burning adrenaline that seeped through every nerve in your body, as well as the violent pounding of your heart that was seeking for an answer to the question Xeno had refused to answer.
“...He was planning to propose?”
Your own question burned inside your head, desperate to be answered, as well as the memory of another question.
“What ring, Xeno?”
Your legs were already moving before your mind could catch up. The golf course disappeared behind you as the garden came into your view once again. The neatly cut grass blurred together with the pathways of the hotel as you broke into a run.
Immediately, your body rebelled against your action as it was in no state for the sudden physical movement. Pain shot through your limbs again, yet you kept running out of desperation.
Out of the desperation for answers—answers that you needed to hear from him.
The other three decided to break their silence as they approached Xeno, who watched as your figure disappeared from his view, as if he was calculating something in his head again.
“Xeno-chan!” Gen’s frantic voice was the first to break the silence. “Why would you tell her that?!”
Stanley lowered his golf club before glancing sideways at Xeno. “Won’t your mentee be furious at you for that?”
Gen whipped his head towards Stanley, “Furious is an understatement! I stopped myself from overstepping because of her condition and the fact that Senku-chan would definitely come for my throat!”
Ryusui couldn’t even tell if he found the situation concerning or amusing. “Seriously! She’s still sick, Xeno.”
Xeno calmly adjusted his glasses, entirely unbothered by the accusations thrown his way. “Exactly, I calculated for these specific conditions.”
They all stared at him with matching confusion and disbelief.
Xeno let out a sigh, as if his answer should’ve been painfully obvious by now. “Senku is currently at peak emotional concern for her condition. Which significantly heightens the probability of honest communication once they encounter each other again.”
“You manipulated the timing on purpose.” Stanley deadpanned as soon as he understood what Xeno was trying to say.
“Correct.” He didn't even bother denying it.
All three of them stared once again as the scientist simply took another sip of his tea.
“You make it sound like you're proud of that,” Gen groaned dreadfully.
“I am. I calculated the timing perfectly.”
“Xeno-chan!”
“What?” Xeno replied flatly. “Would you have preferred another year of this?”
The question silenced Gen because, unfortunately, he had a point. A terribly honest point.
“For three years, they've remained mutually attached to one another.” He began listing with his fingers. “Neither has moved on, neither has entered a new relationship, both continue to yearn for one another painfully without knowing it.”
Then, he folded his arms. “Yet neither of them attempted to resolve the situation. Well, if we don't consider Senku’s attempt two years ago, which truthfully I think he should've tried harder.”
He paused and raised a brow at them. “Tell me why exactly I should continue tolerating that? Though it doesn't affect Senku's work efficiency, it does affect his silence.”
Gen opened his mouth, only to close it after a moment. He opened it again and sighed. He knew Xeno was right; he confirmed it with his debriefing sessions with Yuzuriha every now and then regarding both sides of the relationship.
Stanley gazed upon the hotel, then at Xeno. “Still doesn't explain why you told her about the ring.”
Ryusui nodded in agreement. The expression on his face was suddenly serious. “Stanley's right. Senku hasn't even told her closest friend, Yuzuriha, about it. I doubt Gen and the others would've known too if they hadn't noticed it.”
Xeno gestured for them to sit down. “The comet wasn't enough.”
Gen blinked in disbelief. “You literally just told her he named a comet after her…”
He nodded. “That I did, however, she already knew he still cared.”
“He took care of her the whole night simply because she was sick,” he took another slow sip of his tea. “The comet only supported that idea far greater, as well as confirmed that he still thought of her.”
“The ring, on the other hand, confirmed that he had planned a future with her.” He continued with a scheming look on his face. “The moment she heard of the proposal, every assumption she had built over the course of three years collapsed. Which forced immediate confrontation since she's seeking answers from him now.”
Ryusui grinned at him, though his disbelief was still evident. “Haha! You're insane, Xeno!”
Gen groaned dramatically into his hands once again. “Senku-chan is going to come for you— for us, for not interfering too.”
He turned his head at Xeno. “You told his ex-girlfriend about the proposal he never got to give, he's going to drown us in acid!”
Xeno merely shrugged. “I doubt it. I've already considered his reaction.”
“Once they reconcile, he will be too occupied to remain angry.” Then, with a scheming smile, he spoke. “Or the second he sees her running back to him, crying and demanding answers, he'll significantly have larger concerns than drowning us in acid.”
The silence that followed lasted exactly three seconds. Ryusui was the first to break it as he doubled over laughing. Gen stared in disbelief, wondering how he dragged himself into this, while Stanley fought the urge to laugh, though a smile broke through.
“You planned his reaction too?!” Gen yelled, horrified at the insanity of the conversation.
Xeno merely hummed. “Of course, I had to keep everything precise in order to win the betting pool. And if the latter happens, it gives me enough time to orchestrate a plan in case the worst-case scenario happens.”
“I can't believe you orchestrated that because of a bet! Can’t believe you joined it too!”
“Correction, that's merely forty percent of my reasoning. Truthfully speaking, my main objective was to save both parties another year of watching and suffering their painfully obvious yearning.”
He smiled smugly. “Senku had another two years to improve his emotional intelligence. I'm certain he won't screw this up this time.”
⋆⭒˚.⋆
The elevator ride felt far too slow.
Every second dragged unbearably as your thoughts spiraled for answers faster than your body could keep up with. Your fever still burned beneath your skin, your head still throbbed painfully, and your lungs protested instantly the second you halted when you reached the elevator.
Yet your adrenaline continued to drown everything out. Because all your head could think—all you could hear were fragments of memories: the engagement ring, the proposal that never occurred.
“I’ll show you every other comet myself if I have to.”
“No, don’t say that.”
“I'm sorry I kept making you wait.”
“Will your life be better if I remain out of it?”
“I’ve never seen him so incomplete after you.”
“You'd have to ask him yourself. Though if I were to hypothesize— he was thinking of you.”
“It's such a shame the ring was never used.”
Your hands trembled violently as you stumbled through the hallway, nearly missing the room number entirely before stopping it. And before hesitation could or the pain could stop you, your hand tapped the keycard on the door, and shoved it open with the remaining strength that you had.
Inside the room, a disheveled Senku immediately turned towards the door the second he heard the abrupt sound. He stood beside the desk, phone pressed against his ear.
The relief on his face appeared instantly. So immediate and genuine that it nearly hurt you far more than it should have.
“There you are,” he breathed out sharply, relief overshadowing the concern in his eyes.
His shoulders visibly loosened as if he'd been holding tension in them the entire time you were gone.
On the other side of the call, you heard Kohaku's concerned voice. “Is she back?!”
Senku dragged a hand down his face. “Yeah, she's here already. I'll call you back later.”
Then he ended the call. The moment the phone lowered from his ear, his expression shifted again—relief was quickly overtaken by concern as he took in your state properly.
He noticed your uneven breathing, your flushed skin, your trembling fists as they clutched near your sides. And the tears that gathered in your eyes. He immediately frowned, questioning why there were tears in your eyes.
He clicked his tongue softly, already striding towards you. “What the hell were you thinking wandering around while running a fever and a hangover? Your lungs were still filing a complaint earlier and—”
“Senku.” You cut him with a voice that cracked badly enough to stop him, staring straight at him with eyes that burned with tears.
Your hands clenched tighter at your sides as the emotions and everything else in between felt too much. First, the proximity because of the wedding, the fact that he took care of you the whole night because you were sick, the yearning, the comet—and now, the ring.
You swallowed hard as your heart violently pounded against your rib. “...What ring was Xeno talking about?”
Silence. You were met with complete silence the second the words escaped from your lips. It was almost horrifying when you noticed the way he went still with a slight frown.
Yet before you could say another word, his expression shifted into something else as his focus changed entirely. Because, despite the situation, his main concern was still you.
“Tch,” he stepped forward again, brows furrowing further. “Sit down first before you pass out.”
You shook your head, and your voice cracked harder this time. “No, answer my question.”
His jaw tightened faintly. “Did Xeno seriously tell you that while you're sick?” He muttered under his breath, sounding half irritated and half horrified.
He moved closer until his hand could reach out and touch your forehead, expression turning far more visibly concerned.
“You're burning up again,” his voice lowered. “Did you seriously run all the way back here with your condition?”
You swatted his hand away weakly, and your eyes watered harder. “Answer me first.”
A cough suddenly tore through your throat before you could stop it, making his expression immediately darken as he grabbed a hold of you gently.
“See? This is why you shouldn't have wandered around.” He grabbed the nearest water bottle and pushed it near you. “Drink first.”
You stared at him with disbelief. “How can you still avoid the question right now?!” Your throat burned harder at the sudden rise of your voice.
“Because your condition's getting worse by the second.” He shot back immediately, eyes narrowing at you. “Your fever had already hit thirty-nine degrees earlier, and then you went ahead and wandered around the hotel on your own—”
You fought back the cough that threatened to escape. “Were you going to propose to me?”
He went silent once again, that even the faint trace of irritation on his face disappeared as you stared at him with pleading, teary eyes.
“...Answer me,” you demanded weakly as your breathing shook unevenly.
He remained silent and turned his head away. And that alone shattered you further because he rarely looked away from situations, especially the difficult ones.
“Please,” your voice broke completely. You needed to hear it from him. “Please just answer me, Sen.”
Though before he could speak, another rough cough broke through from your throat. Far worse than the previous ones, as you had to hold onto his arms to steady yourself.
And instantly, he held you tighter as his eyes finally returned to you again
“Easy,” his voice dropped into something softer. “Don't push yourself too hard.”
Your eyes remained locked onto him desperately. Your heart needed to hear the answer from him before it completely tore itself apart. “Were you?”
Then finally, after what felt like an eternity of forcing the answer out of him, he exhaled shakily through his nose.
“...Yeah.”
The single word was enough to destroy you completely; your face crumbled instantly as your tears finally spilled. A broken sound escaped your throat this time, and your knees suddenly felt weak.
Senku caught you immediately, his grip tightening again. “Hey—”
Another cough hit you harshly, followed by a sharp shot of pain through your head, painful enough to make you squeeze your eyes shut.
He clicked his tongue, adjusting his hold on you as panic flickered onto his face. “Your condition's getting worse, you need to lie back down—”
But you clutched onto the fabric of his sweater before he could move you away. Your lungs felt tight, your chest hurt—everything hurt. Because suddenly, the last three years no longer made any sense.
“Why? You cried out weakly. “Why didn't you tell me?”
Senku didn’t answer again as he held you in his arms carefully, as if he could stop you from falling apart completely because of him. His touch bled through the fabric of your sleeves, grounding and painful all at once.
Your hands clutched onto the fabric tighter, enough to wrinkle it. “Why didn’t you say anything? First the house, then the ring— Why didn’t you tell me any of it?”
“When I said I couldn’t do it anymore…The first time, three years ago, the second time, when you called two years ago…” You spoke around another sob. “Why didn’t you stop me?”
His expression shifted slightly, so subtly that most people would miss it. But you didn’t, because after loving him for so long, you had learned every version of his silence.
And this one—this one looked painful.
“Why didn’t you try to make me stay…?” Your breathing staggered. “I would’ve— I would’ve stayed— I would’ve returned back to you if you tried.”
His throat bobbed harshly, and for several seconds, he didn’t say anything. Then, finally,
“...You were crying.” The answer came out barely above a whisper. It sounded raw, immediate, yet honest.
“You were crying so hard you could barely breathe.” His voice sounded rough as his eyes held regret. “All I could think about was the fact that I caused it.”
“You looked exhausted.” He let out a laugh that sounded weak and bitter. “Like being with me was wearing you down.”
And truthfully speaking, it did.
Your chest physically ached when you heard him say that. It triggered another set of tears to roll down your face.
“I wanted to stop you, ten billion percent wanted to.” He confessed, the regret in his eyes mixed with longing.
“But every conclusion pointed towards the same thing.” He continued, voice growing quieter with every word. “If I made you stay…You would've kept pushing yourself past your limit.”
His right hand reached out closer to your face, thumb gently wiping away your tears. A gesture far too familiar.
“That would've been worse than losing you.”
To everyone else, his words would've sounded like another one of his logical solutions, calculated after weighing the variables of the situation. But you knew better. You knew better because you knew him.
You knew what he was trying to say behind the weight of his words. He had let you go, not because he had stopped loving you, not because he thought chasing you was irrational—not because he wanted to.
All you could hear was the confession buried beneath a facade of logic.
I let you go because I loved you too much to keep hurting you.
A broken sob escaped you instantly, and before you could stop yourself, you moved with the remaining strength you could muster.
Your arms wrapped around him desperately, almost collapsing into him from the sudden movement and the sheer weight of everything hitting you all at once.
You felt him freeze as your fingers curled into the fabric of his sweater, your face buried into his shoulders as your body trembled against him.
“For someone so smart, you're an idiot at this.” You cried brokenly. “I would've said yes if you asked.”
Senku inhaled sharply as you sobbed violently on his shoulders.
“I would've said yes even if you proposed even when I was falling apart because I loved you so stupidly that I wouldn't care at all— I would've said yes to you every single time.”
For one horrible second, he didn't move. But then he did. His arms wrapped around you, gentle yet firm, as if restraint itself had snapped completely.
One hand pressed against the back of your head, while the other held your shaking body close against his. The way he held you felt careful, desperate, almost disbelieving. Like a man mourning something he thought he had permanently lost.
For a moment, your sobs were the only thing that could be heard as he held you in his arms. But then, a cough suddenly ripped through your throat again. And immediately, his hold shifted.
He clicked the roof of his tongue. “Your condition's really getting worse.”
You shook your head weakly against his shoulder, hugging him tighter. “I don't care.”
“Yeah, well, I do.” His tone was firm, leaving no room for debate.
And before you could even muster a retort, he lifted you in his arms and strided across the room almost instantly.
“Hey—!”
He sat you down on the chair in the desk area, and that was when you noticed a tray of food with a plate that was covered with a cloche.
“Before you ask again like last night, it's basic physics and training.” He shot flatly, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
His hand moved to adjust your cardigan, then to your face once again as he wiped the remaining tears away. And finally, he pushed your hair back from your face, fingers making contact with the skin of your forehead.
“... You're literally burning up,” he remarked softly.
You tried to laugh weakly through tears. “Yeah, you've mentioned that a lot today.”
“Because it keeps getting worse.” His hands moved to remove the cloche, and the aroma of a warm, comforting soup reached your nose almost instantly.
“You're suffering a fever, a hangover, and a cough.” He took the utensils in his hands. “How the hell did you even manage to leave and run back like that?”
Your eyes drifted away guiltily for half a second because you could audibly hear the concern in his voice. “...Adrenaline?”
He stared at you in disbelief before grabbing the other chair to sit next to you. “You need to eat first and drink medicine.”
You opened your mouth to argue immediately. “We still have a lot to talk about—”
“And we will,” he cut you off softly, bringing the spoon full of soup close to your lips after he checked the temperature of it. “After your condition gets better.”
Bonus:
The medicine worked slowly, but enough to bring down your temperature and fade the ache in your head, and your cough had finally lessened.
Senku stood near the desk as you lay on the bed again, covered beneath the comfort of blankets. He had to answer a call after your condition had finally improved.
You shifted slightly after half-listening to him speak to a co-worker, to which you were barely interested besides hearing his voice.
“Senku…” You softly called out to grab his attention.
He hummed and tilted his head as he shoved his phone back into his pocket. “Yeah?”
You hesitated for a brief moment. “...What happens now?”
He remained silent for a few moments as if he was thinking about the question you asked. Then, he replied. “Depends.”
You tilted your head this time, brows knitted slightly. “Depends on what?”
His gaze remained on you. “...Whether you'd still choose me again.”
You blinked for a few seconds before your face twisted in absolute disbelief. “You’re really an idiot…”
And before he could process it properly, a pillow hit him square on the face.
“Oi—”
“For someone with a ridiculously high IQ, you seriously suck at this!” You snapped, tears already forming around your eyes again.
The pillow landed on his foot, and you continued. “You're really asking me that— After all of this?!”
He stared at you silently, genuinely caught off guard at your sudden outburst.
You angrily wiped your tears away. “It was so hard trying to move on from you— Avoided any mention of you at all costs, kept convincing myself ending things was for the better—”
You looked away, embarrassed by how emotional you suddenly sounded again, then looked back just to glare at him. “And you're standing here, indirectly asking me if I still love you? Jerk.”
He stayed still for another second, but then, you heard a soft snort, followed by a laugh. Your anger nearly rose again at his reaction as he walked towards you, hand covering his mouth as he tried to conceal his laughter.
You threw a decorative pillow at him this time. “Stop laughing! I'm literally having an emotional breakdown because of you!”
He caught it before it could land on his face again. Then, he sat near you on the edge of the bed and noticed that there were still tears on your face.
His hand instantly reached out again to wipe them away. With a soft voice, he said, “Stop crying already.”
“I hate seeing you cry,” his knuckles brushed gently against your cheek. “Especially because of me.”
“Glad you're self-aware.” You spat out, yet you didn't pull away from his touch.
He snickered, gaze softening at your words as a smile settled on his face.
Then, a question appeared in your head, making you shift closer to him. “Can I see the ring?”
His reaction was immediate. He stared at you as if you had asked him to travel and inspect the core of the sun— or the edge of the observable universe.
“No.” He replied firmly.
Your face fell. “What do you mean, no?”
He shook his head and repeated, “No.”
Your jaw dropped. “What— Why?!”
Senku looked genuinely offended by your question. “You literally just gave me the possibility of proposing again.”
You felt your left eye twitch. “But I want to see the ring!”
The bastard had the audacity to turn away. “Request denied.”
You gasped dramatically and grabbed a pillow to smack him this time. Yet he barely reacted.
“Xeno said you traveled three continents to make it. I want to see why!”
He clicked his tongue in annoyance. “Xeno told you too much. I'm having a talk with him later.”
You whined and grabbed his arm. “I want to see the ring.”
“And I said no.” He replied, far more firmly this time.
Then, he reached for his tablet on the bedside table. “I have something else to show you instead.”
You moved closer eagerly. “Is it the 3D design of the ring?”
He frowned and clicked his tongue again. “Why are you so eager to see it?”
“Because you were supposed to propose with it. Can't you sense the weight of that?!”
He didn't answer; instead, he tapped on the screen before handing the device to you.
You blinked, confused, before taking it from his hands. That was when your eyes landed on countless photos of comets. Each image contained the comet's name, the date, coordinates, and other observation details.
Your throat tightened as you looked up at him. He was already staring at you with a soft gaze that made your heart falter for a moment.
“I told you I'll show you every other comet, didn't I?”
A memory flashed in your head for a brief moment as you froze. The hill, a telescope, NEOWISE, and “I'll show you every other comet myself if I have to.”
Your vision blurred instantly as you set the tablet down on your lap. “...Hah, and you kept saying I was the sappy one.”
He snickered softly, making you jab his arm weakly as your voice cracked between your next words. “You kept your promise— Gosh, I hate you so much!”
You jabbed him harder this time, earning a small yelp from him. He raised a brow at you, rubbing the spot. “That's what I get in return?”
You glared at him through tears. “You documented comets after we broke just to show me, and then you named one after me, too.”
His eyes narrowed in annoyance. “I'm definitely having a talk with Xeno after this.”
You ignored his statement and wiped your tears away with the sleeves of your cardigan. “I could kiss you right now if I weren't sick and contagious.”
You muttered out, using the term he used to use whenever you were sick back then.
He chuckled lightly before moving closer to cradle your face with his hand. Then, his thumb slowly wiped a stray tear away. And before you could say anything else, he leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss on your forehead.
“You're acting like I haven't shown you comets before, idiot.”
A/N: ARGHH, IT WAS SO FUN WRITING THIS EVEN WHEN I WAS SICK (manifested it while writing this, LMAO) I really hope Senku wasn’t ooc, or the other characters cuz I tried really hard to make sure they weren’t. Anyways, thank you all again for patiently waiting. I hope I've given the therapy to heal the damage I've done with the previous part, mwhehe. Love you guys, mwah! ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
TAGLIST for those who requested pt.2: @alonelyartist1432 @nanasecrect @auverry1 @readerisbusyreading @coralsands-world @riettyinsanji @alexa24 @kiyocakes @rachel178 @cosmicmonky @syaliscen @choneio @yokokoy @teacup-fics @ranzemn @alorss @4r13y @larisa-post