hmm...

they/he ///  24 /// gay in all directions & thinking about too many things

[ravioliet]

they should invent a disproportionate emotional response that goes away when you understand it's disproportionate. they should invent a way to logic yourself out of emotions

[operation-annihilate]

Spock’s bar mitzvah. He did not have fun

[lickingandsuckingchristmascoins]

[ruled-by-tv]

so difficult being a simon and garfunkel fan during a heatwave when you can't hear the drizzle of the rain and the autumn winds doesn't blow chilly and cold and you can't turn your collar to the cold and damp and the leaves that are green aren't turning to brown and the new york city winters aren't bleeding you and there isn't a patch of snow on the ground and the sky isn't gray and white and cloudy and you're not alone on a winters day in a deep and dark december and-

[quasi-normalcy]

We have this interesting situation where we basically no longer have privacy nor the expectation of privacy, but we also don't have community or meaningful connection with others, so we're all simultaneously both completely exposed and absolutely alone, and please understand that when I say this situation is "interesting", what I in fact mean is that it's "nightmarish and I wish I could wake up"

[void-flesh]

[doveywovy]

okay i have a long and complicated heterosexual steve/bucky au but what matters is that the super serum functions essentially like testosterone & steroids. and thus a cis female steve still passes for a man and ends up doing a whole mulan thing with captain america. which she has complicated feelings about but lets not get into that bc the point of this post is her accidentally stolen-valoring like half the identities within the lgbtqia+ community

sam thinks shes a trans woman who's transitioning in the modern era. super reasonable assumption based on what he knows ("captain america" is a man in all the history textbooks, but stevie actively makes an effort to get gendered right off the clock). he fumbles on pronouns like twice while figuring it out and then becomes Steve's Biggest Ally TM and never finds out he is aiding a cis woman with her gender dysphoria and not a trans woman. cool bro move regardless thanks man she needed that

natasha thinks steve is nonbinary and the gender role switching comes from that, because natasha has an insane relationship with her own body+gender and its connection to work. like her role as the femme fatale means she views being a woman as part of her job obligation/title; she views steve's gender situation as similar. she thinks steve is for real actually a man on the job and for real actually a woman off it and this makes so much sense to her.

tony thinks steve & bucky are gay men and refuses to delve into this because he is very worried steve fucked howard and he does not want the details. he makes a lot of mildly homophobic quips that he views as a status of him being progressively accepting (think the "no son of mine wears a skirt........that doesn't match his top!" jokes people made in the 2010s) which steve either totally misses or just views as sexist jokes that she ignores.

thor thinks steve & bucky are lesbians and is very happy for them. he's way more used to the muscular body-builder look on woman so he can easily tell that steve's a gal, but during his early days on earth when he had long hair a lot of people informed him that 'long hair is a girl thing' (it was 2009 after all). so thor assumes any human he sees with long hair is a woman, ergo bucky must be a woman. what a beautiful lesbian partnership. he hopes he gets an invite to the wedding

[doveywovy]

5) bruce thinks steve is a trans man because all of his deep delving into the serum means he understands that it essentially functioned as ultra-transitioning but he doesn't really get how fucking crazy steve was about Having to Fight in the War and thus he assumes this was gender affirming care for steve as much as it was anything else. hes misgendering steve so hard but he thinks hes being really supportive in doing so, and steve is both very used to scientists specifically disregarding her perspective and also coworkers in general getting it wrong, so she just. ignores it. in 10 years when bruce figures it out hes going to feel like the worst person alive. Bruce also assumes steve is bi because he buys into the peggy carter cover backstory for Captain America & is aware that steve is currently married to bucky.

6) clint has no idea what gender steve is and is too afraid to ask at this point. but hes pretty sure they (?) are asexual because they (?) haven't seemed to be attracted to anyone in all the time they've worked together, even when natasha does her classic "lets make out for a cover identity' thing and- oh they(?) have a husband(?). a partner of indeterminate gender also? clint gives up. thats captain america. he's just going to use the captain title in every sentence instead of pronouns.

[doveywovy]

7) spiderman 3 weeks into using he/him for steve by default, after overhearing thor talk to her:

[doveywovy]

8) t'challa assumes steve's a cis straight man until the events of civil war & hes like "oh okay gay man. gay man for sure." and then he hears sam using she/her for her and hes like oh god i'm fucking this up so bad. i have to stop guessing. he knows he should just ask but they've been working together for a year now and he's too embarrassed to do it so instead he starts using wakanda-specific gender terms for steve. he gives her the same gender terms as okoye which is a specific 'gender: warrior leader' and shuri starts cackling the first time she hears him do this bc he should notttt be using that for a white american are you fucking kidding me t'challa? and hes like i KN0W shuri but consider this is saving me from at least one really awkward conversation?? so congrats steve you're getting misgendered in ways no non-wakandan ever has been before

9) coulson thinks steve was a cis man but that the excess testosterone in the superserum partially converted into estrogen and that steve's now something of a 'femboy', mostly on account of coulson thinking with his dick. as steve gets more expressive of being a woman off-duty coulson gets more convinced that bucky is force-femming 'him'. can somebody cut this guys internet out

[natalieironside]

I think I was well-served in the long run by having already come to terms with being a freak and an outcast many, many years before I came out as a transsexual.

I heard all these horror stories like "You'll have a hard time finding a job and everyone will think you're a big weirdo and you'll be subject to a panopticon of social scrutiny and face violent bigotry" and I had thought Well all of that stuff is already happening to me anyways so why not, you'll hang for a sheep as well as a lamb

[natalieironside]

Feels like there's a significant intracommunity divide between those of us who were already living on the outskirts of life and those who see themselves as temporarily embarassed average citizens

[justdrinktea]

the only thing in our new apartment so far

[kittykatexxl]

What else do u need

[littlemisspipebomb]

[aphractal2]

old deer coincidental framing concepts

[live-long-and-pasta]

"sick dogs don't die for free"

Project Hail Mary + Sick Dogs by hey, nothing

[stealmyheartaway]

paws at you. whines at you. awouf

[stealmyheartaway]

awrruf... c'mere

[stealmyheartaway]

rrawrf

[yugirimistwalker]

Little wolf youre our last hope... our best driver just had a tummy ache

You are our last hope to win the Daytona 500...!

[bluesturngold]

aw fuck *fastens seatbelt*

[tallymali]

some ppl act like there is a sexual spectrum from pure innocent virgin to uncontrollable rapist and the hornier and sluttier u are the closer u get to being an uncontrollable rapist. and thats why they think sexual repression is necessary to keep everyone safe. this is easily disproven by taking a quick glance at organised religion but ykno

[anarchopuppy]

the kinky sluts at ur local bdsm dungeon have probably all attended at least 1 class on consent and safety before getting their membership card (its usually a requirement in my experience). thats 1 more than most ppl have been to. and fellow bdsm freaks have universally been the most kind, accomodating, and understanding lovers ive ever been with

[wineauntgenna]

[neonfretra]

hell is full. heaven is full. god created a new holding space for souls called hurgle and the only thibg to do here is this infinitely expading jigsaw puzzle of a finely detailed pigeon. we are just slowwwwwly creating little tufts of feathers for eternity . yesterday , greg found a corner piece

[simonalapropaganda]

made a tumblr account for this post and this post only

[levymcgarden55]

Happy to report that this is one of five posts on their account and then they never came back

[toasthaste]

according to An Immense World, apparently giant squid eyes are, like, UNREASONABLY large, even for something their size living at those depths. the next largest eyes on earth, blue whale eyes, are less than half the size, and swordfish, who live at similar depths as giant squid and have the largest eyes of any fish, have eyes that could fit inside a giant squid's pupil.

eyes hit serious diminishing returns wrt resource costs vs vision quality as they get bigger, so the question became: what the FUCK do giant (and colossal) squid need to see so badly that they couldn't see with swordfish-sized eyes that's justifying that massive energy cost? that nothing else in the deep ocean needs to see so fucking badly??

turns out the one strength eyes that big really have over much smaller eyes is: seeing large glowing objects in water deeper than 500 meters from an appreciable distance.

sperm whales are the primary predator of giant squid. sperm whales don't glow. BUT! water that deep is full of bioluminescent creatures-- these creatures light up when bumped into. something a sperm whale's size is continuously bumping into those critters, it's just surrounded by a glowing field all the time when it's swimming at those depths, visible from a distance-- if you have the right eyes-- as a massive glowing shape. so basically the only reason to have eyes the size of soccer balls is if you live in the deep ocean and your life depends on having a heads up when a hungry sperm whale lurking around

and also I gotta say, the imagery... the huge lurking threat betrayed only by the ambiguous glowing shape of its movements through the water, is really evocative, if spooky deep-sea games aren't already using that to make things extremely ominous then they should really start

[beaft]

singing house of the rising sun at the pub last night and when the song ended the musicians just kept playing while people ad-libbed more verses about various pubs they knew

[beaft]

(with ominous hurdy-gurdy accompaniment): "there is a pub in walthamstow, it's called the fox and mole, but we don't go there (long pause) any more. Because the manager is an arsehole."

[balcklion]

A circulating video of sisters who bought the same clothes for their husbands 😂❤️

[g1sunstreaker]

this gag NEVER fails to make me laugh. watching them all file in one by one and collectively laugh harder every time the next guy walks in…i could watch videos of this practical joke all day

[cumaeansibyl]

Their faces as they collectively realize they’re married to the funniest women on the planet

[the-real-seebs]

whenever people say “it’s just a prank” about minor cruelty, remember: the people laughing hardest here are the people being pranked. you’ll notice that they aren’t hurt, or upset. they’re enjoying it. they feel loved and included.

that’s how you make a good prank.

[serenitynerd]

I keep putting this back in my queue because it means I restumble upon it and it always makes me laugh. So delightful