I don’t remember the week leading up to, and I was in a coma for 2 weeks.
We think I accidentally hung myself.
Twin and I were home alone. When he came in the bedroom, I was hanging from our bunk bed.
He couldn’t get me down so he ran to a neighbors and called 911.
When he got back, the belt around my neck had split… the emergency crew said it looked cut, but no one cut it…
I woke up in the hospital 2 weeks later.
They said my heart stopped for almost 2 minutes when they first brought me in….
Every day since, I have been on borrowed time.
And I intend to make the best of it!
I’m not here for a long time.
I’m here for a good time.
One day a few years ago, Dubs asked me when I was feeling down, what my dream life looked like…
It took me a long time to give her an answer!
Even after I had the answer… I felt guilt for simply wanting what I did.
I told her that I’ve always wanted more then I felt I had a right to ask for…
I told her, that I wanted a second little princess to teach and grow with… That I didn’t need to share with anyone but her.
We had met someone shortly after that…it was good for several weeks.
We laughed and played together. We shared life stories, and family pictures.
We eventually started making sister wife jokes.
But things fell apart pretty quickly.
I’m not going into details about what went wrong.
When things went bad, everyone got hurt!
@i-am-dubs and myself, pulled back from this fantasy…
We took a break from any form of including another in our dynamic.
But lately… life has left me wanting more!
As my children are becoming old enough to want to stand on their own, my best friend @bravegirl23
Has become increasingly busy in her life, I have increasingly felt the need to fill that void.
Now Dubs has stated that if we were to consider this down the road, then I’d have to be more diligent!
I’d have to thoroughly vet a serious candidate, because the one who hurt us, used us!
And I can not allow that again…
Even if it means giving up my wants…
I write this for several reasons, but my main two reasons is to show a main D/s rule at work,
And her need to be safe and comfortable is WAY more important!
And my second reason is to showcase a way that my dynamic is at times unconventional!
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