Accept Any Outcome
Yussra MT Ebrahim
8/12/2023
Something was conspicuously absent from my heart last week: anxiety. I encountered all sorts of flustering situations, yet found myself uncharacteristically unflustered through them all: days-long uncertainties, missed opportunities, last-minute plan changes, unfamiliar territories, and dangerous driving conditions! Yet I felt not only at peace, but grateful for every unfolding, and I found myself laughing from the bottom of my heart as my rusty car slid across a submerged and shrouded highway through a foggy, torrential, crackling, magnificent thunderstorm. That’s not a metaphor. But it could be.
Where did the dread go?
I have a theory.
You see, I’d decided in advance to donate those days. This time is dedicated to this cause, so I’ll entrust it to God; whatever happens happens. I’ve done this enough times now to have noticed a pattern: I seem to have the best time when I don’t consider the time my own. In contrast, whenever I want things to go a certain way, whenever I consider myself to be in control of a situation in the sense that I’m invested in its outcome, I find myself stressing about the future.
Think about it: aren’t your greatest anxieties around the things you treasure the most?
So here’s my theory: my anxiety stems from the urge to be in control, which on a deeper level stems from a love of dunya, needing one’s worldly life to unfold as desired or expected, as though this temporary existence is the life that matters. It’s natural to be nervous every now and then, but when we make a daily habit of worrying about our future, it’s only ever our worldly future that ash shaytan inspires us to obsess over. When I switch my perspective to seeing the world with an awareness of the Hereafter, the actual, lasting future, I ironically find myself living in the moment more than ever before, allowing it to be however it is, however Allah wills it to be. People who chase worldly gains might advise you to be ambitious and set your sights on your lofty material goals no matter what, but this advice can make you a desperate slave to your desires; the beauty of being willing to accept any outcome is that your own desires lose power over you and you start to appreciate and cherish everything you have for what it is.