liara using thessian terms of endearment for samantha
sam learning just enough rudimentary thessian to talk to bennie (who as a toddler speaks a strange mix of galactic english and high thessian) before she's old enough for a translator
sam, who is terrible (awful, no good at all. dyslexia and adhd do that) with languages focusing ALL of her attention on liara as she explains the vowel sounds and grammatical constructs
sam, well into her sixties, just barely fluent but with an embarrassing accent, and benezia is mortified when her father speaks stilted thessian with her friends, picks up slang terms, and then later cheerfully teaches them to liara. (all her friends think her dad is SO COOL but she knows better. she knows better.)
at least there is uncle jim who is fluent, beautifully so, and teases his sister in a lilting illium accent, and brings along all of bennie's human cousins, every foster child (some as young as toddlers, some old enough to bring along their own families by the time bennie hits thirty. aunt miri looks harried but rarely stops smiling) to every family gathering, until her father says gleefully that next christmas they'll "have to rent a damn venue"
bennie, so distraught at uncle joker's funeral that she can only speak halting thesserit, the language of the classrooms her heartbroken mother pulled her away from. her father, nearing a century old, bearing grief so heavy she is unable to speak at all, clasping the shaking hands of her old squadmates, their shared mourning a sight benezia does not forget in all her two thousand years. he is the first of them lost.
she attends more funerals than she'd like over the next fifty years.
at jack's her father breaks a toe kicking the coffin, cursing in seven languages at being left behind. bennie has never in seventy five years seen her father and aunt miri disagree, but they nearly come to blows at the head of the ejection chute. jack had that way about her, bennie's mother says. her father and aunt miri hold hands all the way home, their fingers twisted together.
at uncle kaidan's there is silence. in front of a hundred marines her father cannot choke out the eulogy. "he was the best damn. he was the best damn marine i ever. fuck. fuck it. fuck. he better end up somewhere god damn gorgeous because he deserves it. he earned it. he better be happy until the galaxy burns out." the answering "oorah!" is deafening. she walks off the stage and bennie can see the tears burning in her eyes.
uncle jacob's is subdued, formal. when samantha hugs his son, her namesake, they both break down into tears. it is aunt miri that reaches out to them, her mouth set in a determined line. bennie does not see her cry until after when she is shaking so violently with sobs that uncle jim must pick her up and carry her home.
at uncle garrus's there is almost no one, just the squadmates that are left and what family they brought with them. her father lays a rifle on the memorial. "meet you at the bar, you old bastard," she says, and then simply crumples. it is close to an hour before liara can bring her back to her feet.
tio jimmy's is attended by nearly every marine he ever served with. her father cannot speak again, manages to say that he was a credit to the corps and a better man than most could hope to be. she tells the younger ones to drink to him and make huevos rancheros in the morning. they go home, quiet, the salute still ringing in their ears.
at aunt tali's a thousand unmasked quarian faces sing an age-old lament for the young admiral that brought them home. keelah se'lai. keelah se'lai. the homeworld they saw again because of her bravery. her father leaves, halfway through, and screams at the rannoch sun, my baby girl. just bring back my baby girl.
at uncle jim's there are no words. her father, almost one hundred and fifty, is beyond grief. beyond pain. she and aunt miri lean stone-faced on each other in front of the grave marker, not so much stoic as empty. each of them - benezia, her mother, uncle wrex, even the hard-headed grunt - can feel that miranda is left with only half a soul, samantha with less. her father is old, old, and gutted by her losses. some days her eyes are blank, not with age, bennie's mother says, but because those days jim's darkness is stronger than her light. it is part of being a twin, she says. to be a twin is to be bonded from birth. your father, she says with shaking voice, is some days bonded to the dead. there is a toll. aunt miri moves in with them. benezia puts off her work study program so she can live at home with her mother. her father.
aunt miri passes first. the grief, her father says, and her voice cracks. all the cousins, every foster child, and their families too, stand at the gravestone. her father stands back. it is a feat of strength for her to stand at all; she leans on liara, the weight of being the last heavy on her shoulders. everyone left will outlive me by a thousand years, she says. the krogans force laughter. bennie can see her mother's fingers press against her father's skin, as though by sheer desperation she can keep her bondmate longer by her side. she cannot.
there is no day in benezia's life more painful than her father's funeral. she remembers too late that samantha shepard is a galactic hero, remembers too late that she cannot mourn in peace, breaks down on the stage behind the solemn speech of a man that had never met her father, never known her. she is one hundred and six and her mother holds her as she is wracked with sobs, whispers, "this shall pass, this shall pass. remember her and remember her love and she will always be with you. she will always be with you." bennie thinks of the bedtime stories, of all the times her mother lost sam shepard, and wonders how she will survive even once. uncle wrex begins his speech three times before he tosses the podium at the tacky commemorative cake, his bellow of rage and pain his tribute to the woman who saved tuchanka. in the back of the hall aralakh company begins a slow chant, a battle cry. "shepard. shepard. shepard. shepard." it sweeps the crowd, the masses below on the main floor of the citadel, is relayed to every rebuilt planet in the galaxy. there is not a pair of lips alive that does not whisper her father's name in that moment. but all benezia feels is a hole, a gaping wound left by the short-lived. her mother cries. benezia has never seen her mother cry like this and never does again, her face a portrait of such rending, consuming grief that benezia expects her to scream aloud. grunt and uncle wrex carry them one each off of the stage as the alliance fires a salute.Â
she goes away for fifty or sixty years. buries herself in her work. talks to uncle wrex rarely; talks to her mother even less. she knows her mother mourns the anniversaries on the presidium, so she mourns them on earth. there is a memorial in london, taller than her twice over. something about the names scratched in stone keeps her from breaking down each year. ashley williams. mordin solus. thane krios. (two lines of binary, the smooth edges revealing construction rather than vandalism: legion. edi.) zaeed massani. (in shallow, amateur marks, too high for most to reach: goto kasumi.) jeff moreau. jacqueline nought. kaidan alenko. jacob taylor. garrus vakarian. james vega. tali'zorah vas normandy. james shepard. miranda lawson. samantha shepard.
samantha shepard. she touches the stone, cool beneath her fingers. she will come back. she will make sure. her father will always be with her.
honestly jim and sam very enthusiastically adopting ori into the family is rly important to me like. theyd both reply to the email she sends after miri's loyalty mission with smth along the lines of "be good, tell me if you need anybody killed"
then like the secondary twin would email her and jim would be like if you need anyone to talk to im a licensed therapist, i know being a teenager is rough, honestly the only reason i sent this email is bc my sister asked me to. i have an undergraduate degree in engineering so if you need homework help i guess i can do that. and he ends up tutoring her through the rest of high school and giving her Boy Advice because miranda is comically horrible at that. sam would be like, jim has outsourced boy killing to me. my number is xxx-xxxx and i live on noveria so plan accordingly. i wont charge you for the first boy but this is a business so continued assassination requests will require payment. im also under orders to report all boy killings to your older sister just fyi. if you need homework help ask someone other than me. i just kill people.
a few days later miranda emails her like, "sorry you now have two new and very strange adoptive older siblings? theyre good people i promise just. also strange. i might love them both"
really though imagine james is playing some video game and samantha trudges in looking tired and sad and just says “jimmy………..” before climbing in his lap and wrapping herself around him and he has to play video games over her shoulder for like two hours and then carry her to bed like a god damn nerd baby
honestly im just imagining jim @ the final assault n sam doesnt have clearance to come bc its technically an alliance operation so they have to say goodbye over holochat
and god she’s trying not to cry like hell bc she lost her brother once and now she’s gonna lose him again, fuck it all just come home you asshole, you piece of shit martyr. and he’s so stoic, he’s got such a brave face on because she’s always been strong for him and now he’s gotta be strong for her
and he just looks over at the reaper and then back at her n just says “that reaper……. it’s a big’un” and then they’re both laughing and sobbing at the same time, they’re all a mess and he tells her, his voice cracks as he tells her, take care of miranda. take care of miranda and take care of you. i’ll get ash out, just make sure i did this for a good reason. i did this for you. i love you.
and she just looks at him and says, i love you. wherever you end up, be good. i’ll see you again, asshole. i’m logging off.
honestly james is a dumb gay earnest sometimes sarcastic baby that loves everyone so much and miranda ends up just saying "james." in a warning tone of voice for most of their acquaintance
me @ jim: no woman is allowed to touch you except miranda. you belong only to her forever. you're literally going to be a virgin the first time the two of you have sex. you're welcome
me @ sam: just......................... sleep with everybody. we'll find a way to explain it to liara
tbh like miranda being jealous before she and jim are together like. he knows all these women and they are all very cute and into him and she’s like. why am i jealous. he’s annoying.. i don’t even like him. why. and jim is just like hey miranda please pay attention to me. funny gag comic: every woman from mass effect 2 is hanging onto jim and jim is just like “miranda please pay attention to me i think i love you”
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