Common Alex

panic attacks in real time

[commonalex]

SWEET TYRANT IS ONLINE

https://sweettyrant.online

[commonalex]

SWEET TYRANT

*flashing lights warning*

SWEET TYRANT started with the worst instincts on the surface during the worst circumstances. It does not meant to struggle justifying its existence, nor is it the result of some hobby artsy jerk-off. It lives and breathes inside the crowd and doing circles around the city streets at night.

It is not to be locked away at night in a museum, it is not meant to gather dust on a library shelf. It is not a commodity of any kind, but a physical tangible copy of an emotional abstraction that exists within us even if we try to push it aside every night while scrolling until we fall asleep.

And art, as the most twisted yet direct form of asynchronous communication, is the tool chosen here to close this gap between us and reality.

Because art lives in cheap headphones that play loud music in the morning on the bus, in the notes app of a phone with endless cringey paragraphs, in the doodles on the margins of a textbook. Art exists to burst out of bodies and mix with reality.

This collection is dedicated to the people who, with their body and mind broken, still struggle, search, create, and steal back the joy and creativity that was stamped out from them day in and day out by this unending loop. I love you all in the worst way possible.

And it's also free. Meaning freely distributed. Free of charge, if you will. Made some physical copies of SWEET TYRANT in greek with some extra stuff as well. If you are interested, reach out.

<3

http://sweettyrant.online

[commonalex]

late night hysteria

sorry didn't hear you the voices in here melt into an unforgiving echo speakers jump around the room and your eyes change places every time i try to look right at them

tiptoeing i'm bad company can't follow conversations i kickstarted it was never my thing to open up

but i had something written i was across the mirror rehearsing how to tell you how i feel and was looking for the right moment but it seemed as if we never spoke the same language

maybe i got something going on with made up smiles and foolish gestures even feeling how people feel late night hysteria and a change of heart on my way back to either home or hell

[commonalex]

the wolves

thought of leaving i stepped back from the whole world to lose the wolves surrounding me all i have is me and whatever fell in my arms i had to pay it with interest with my hands bruised from digging through cement through my guts through my words i stopped letting others look me in the eyes i ain't sleeping wolves get closer when it's darker outside i'm my very own persona non grata but i swear i have so much more to give just not to you not you either yeah def not you as well thought of leaving i stepped back from the whole world i was waiting for a hand to look for me grab me tight and pull me back but the world didn't seem to miss me after all

[commonalex]

VALENTINA

maybe

somewhere very close to you

there is someone who wants to get to know you

who wants to share magical moments with you

in this number there is always a person

looking forward to meeting you

every moment on this number

someone's waiting for you

call now

[commonalex]

empty bodies

empty bodies half full of bitterness losing their own reflection from the subway's glass window

empty bodies sobbing violently at night scrolling memories while fatigue sits on top of their chests

empty bodies open wounds and dry mouths rolling dices every night for the days left

empty bodies no more sweet chimeras talking to themselves to sleep these are the worst days

[commonalex]

mosaic blur

getting cheap on my emotions i'm half-playing when i'm bored i'm half-pushing back whatever comes too close chasing cars like dogs either from fear of the fomo and it has nothing to do with you i like you as an idea but i don't know if i can trust you these days i don't pay attention to what i either make or make me when i know one day they'll take it from my hand

mosaic blur upon my face my neck rocking chains turned green with their color slightly off my body lines how could i ever convince you these are not just cheap excuses sick and tired of drowning in other people's sheets i have no patience how could i ever convince you this is not a threat whenever i tell you i can't do this any longer

[commonalex]

call you later

all my friends are dressed in mirror's color dancing awkwardly while looking at their shoes i miss the company it hurts when i'm embraced hands are rubbing me like sandpaper and other hands live in my mind rent free

my demons run the streets at night in the veins of the metropolis and howl like wolves unanswered cries left on the speaker as if the whole damn city tells you call you later far too busy at the moment

buildings glow like they're burning like white noise in the echo of the voices long drowned out like stars that are still hanging dead on top of my head but it's too late to take a peek at them right now rooftops have long queues for you to jump tonight

[commonalex]

i cannot fill the gaps of other people anymore

dancing around me your clothes slip each time you smile is it awkwardness or is it just on purpose and my mind gets into orbit around you and it looks funny to you but i'm ashamed and i hide my own intentions burying  them inside the fog behind my eyes like you hide your wedding ring between your fingers waiting to feel something again

i just wanna take a bite always fighting for some space on the table and your taste has grown familiar in my mouth you're so clumsy yet i love it and it is indeed a pity i've been chasing recognition if it matters that i'm here that i cannot fill the gaps of other people anymore but the demons on my shoulders still shout your name in my ear

[commonalex]

spoiled (ft. tria epsilon)

are you online or just sleeping oh ok you're zigzagging lowkey i was hesitant to hit you up i think the other day i saw you on the street wrapped from the top to bottom tight in barbed wire like a statue dripping grace from its wide open wounds your body shrinks and swells with every breath you take at a tempo of a song i never heard before i didn't greet you you didn't see me but i saw it in your eyes that you were gone already and i wasn't in the mood to bother either only kept the rhythm you played with your chest and my regrets i wish i had more happy songs so i could sing them back to you what about me fine i guess still on the run struggling to shake the anchors dragging back my steps i envy you but i'm just spoiled and it has nothing to do with you i no longer have the lungs for it and you keep running up against the escalators and i spread my body on top of the rest crammed in holes of empty trains and i hope someone's gonna look for me when it's my time to get off sorry i just got your message hope you're ok *** i had a fox tail in my dream and i couldn't really fit it in my pants. i may have gained a few pounds - but still so damn fit on my fingers, all day keyboard hitting i must've lost some weight by now. if i was in the big city sitting where you're all running i would ride the escalators and we might have crossed paths like two or three times - larissa station/ omonoia/ seats of people with hats on and the train gon' pass again and again and again just like the messages that keep on coming, like the light you've never seen shining across the room from my favorite song on repeat like me creaking, i might creak when i'm asleep and fantasize of people like a giant bottle in the shape of a loop- i believe your cave must be a big ass loop, it reminds me of a shipyard, you polish the anchors, you pick a port, you try pretending that you're off to rio next week but you always end up writing cutesy lines on the keyboard before deleting them or switching them around while days, years, phone data go by in two days and i barely manage to reply to your message i am fine, hope you too

(tria epsilon on tumblr: https://triaepsilon.tumblr.com)

[commonalex]

dead pixels in the sky

dead pixels in the sky dots looking back at dots that are no longer to be seen people's eyes turned to black holes and i fall into their void tightly handcuffed from the stress i can't hitchhike and i get swallowed by a passing train ten floors deep in the ground breath taking and neck breaking to see the surface like a garden locked behind brutal barbed wire i pull my brains apart like headphone cords i look up to find a dot that looks back at me just to know if i'm still *here* or just kill time scraping temples with gun barrels rubbing off the rust or maybe paranoia

[commonalex]

drowned sirens

the demon on my shoulder got the blinking lights on carving circles 'round the block like my last name is kandinsky avoid shaking hands and looking into mirrors mad at myself searching for my pride that i got stamped out bumping into strangers and throwing feelings in the void as if i swapped my heart for an airplane's black box buildings cruising through the water sirens hooked on by their nails crying on the cop cars screaming ringing in my skull like bells flickering between the waves barren bodies salt swollen neck wounds and i sink my teeth deep inside my arm not to make anymore sound for them to notice cause attention is a blade and it slices your throat open

[commonalex]

boy toy

boy toy i'm a boy toy wearing knots around my neck weighting heavier than my ego shaping myself on others' terms to stop catching the loneliness but i'm not alone your face turned blurry nowadays like a corrupted memory of mine you're looking at me dead as stone your eyes cracked like two mirrors from the bitterness a modern medusa with whole lotta trust issues yet here we are laying numb from the dancing arms and legs are trembling to find their shapes or if they button up together out of vice or plain necessity like shooting stars my doubts are dropping on top of my chest if am i still or am i not just a boy toy i'm a boy toy

[commonalex]

every time i see you i fall apart

i wanna lay where you lay dress you up with some nice words that sound funny standing up there's no therapy on this side of the city and the words won't find their way to you to tell you every time i see your face i fall apart hands get sticky you exist behind my eyelids and i delve into your stomach for the three hours that i sleep shooting my emotions deep coast to coast and i mourn the youth i spent with you or far away from you as a jailbird hanging from the bars of your sides i am yours i'm your prisoner

[commonalex]

psychogeography

carved an anchor on my neck to pull my thoughts down when the need to log off ever comes i do deadlifts with my patience i feel like i don't deserve it to exist and i fade away until i hit rock bottom with my lungs drained by the salt

carved some seas upon my wrist and i sail them 'round my block police cars and tourist buses pass right through me like they know i lost my faith but i still take breaths before i cross the streets and i hope as i keep swimming that you'll find me and still recognize my body from its marks

[commonalex]

cold hands

cold hands laying on me pressing on my temples burying hundred bodies with mine just in case i might get lonely i kiss them or swim with them trying in vain to rub the ice off of my skin

bang bang

bodies shake bodies snap i pray they don't get through them i see red and try to catch a hand to hold onto

bang bang

all is see-through outstretched guns and violent screeches i get stuck inside my thoughts and let them burn my skin away like the plug behind my head doesn't fit me anymore

bang bang

it rains lead but look at your boy dancing busting moves like it's his birthday

[commonalex]

sugar

late night zig zaging the streets city lights lean on my shoulders hundred suns i drag around like balloons empty faces looking down from the balconies (i curse and bitch behind my teeth) they say i run in vain cause i'll never find you again even with the city shrinking to fit cops and wannabe-faux-bourgeoisie stress and lack of motivation sweat is sticking just like sugar and the herds of them are hunting for my scent you can't save me and i don't want you to save me if you're hanging on those wires by your veins just like me what is really left to do around here are you living or just watching days go by