The first time Gyubin ever sang in front of someone, it wasn’t on a stage.
It was in a cramped, sunlit bedroom with peeling constellation stickers on the ceiling, a tiny desk shoved against the wall, and a mountain of comic books in one corner. Her audience of one lay sprawled sideways across the bed, socks half on, half off, chewing on the end of a pencil while he pretended to be interested in his history homework.
Y/N looked up when her voice cracked.
“Again,” he said, grinning. “You skipped the high note.”
Gyubin puffed out her cheeks. “I did not.”
“You so did. It went like—” He made an exaggerated squeak that sounded nothing like her. “See?”
She threw the nearest thing at him, which unfortunately was her own notebook. It thudded harmlessly against his arm.
“Yah, Y/N,” she groaned, grabbing the pillow and smacking him lightly. “You’re supposed to be encouraging.”
“I am encouraging,” he protested, laughing as he defended himself with his textbook. “I’m encouraging you to not embarrass yourself at the school festival.”
“I’m going to do great at the festival,” she huffed, sitting on the edge of the bed with her arms crossed.
He tilted his head, studying her. The afternoon light from the window fell across her hair, catching on the stray strands that had escaped her ponytail. She looked like she’d been put through a washing machine—oversized t-shirt, shorts, one sock missing—but there was something about the set of her jaw that made something in his chest tighten.
“You’re going to be amazing,” he said, dropping the teasing for once. “You always are.”
Gyubin blinked at him, her expression softening. It always happened like that with them. They could bicker over anything, but the second one of them got serious, the air between them changed.
“Don’t say it like that,” she muttered, looking away quickly. “Makes it sound like you’ve seen me be ‘amazing’ a lot.”
“I have,” he replied easily. “Talent show in fourth grade? You butchered the lyrics, but still amazing. That time the teacher made you sing the school anthem alone because no one else remembered it? Amazing. The way you yell at me when I eat ramyeon for dinner three days in a row—”
“That’s not ‘amazing,’” she cut in. “That’s me saving your life.”
He laughed, the sound warm and familiar. “Exactly. So, Miss Future Idol, from now on, I’ll be your first fan, okay? When you debut, I’ll be in the front row. With a banner. And a lightstick. And—”
“I won’t debut,” she said, but there was no real conviction in her voice. Just a quiet, unspoken wish.
“You will.” He said it so simply that she could almost believe it. “And when you do, I’m going to say ‘I told you so’ for the rest of your life.”
“Wow,” she rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t stop the small smile that tugged at her lips. “How supportive.”
He nudged her knee with his foot. “Come on, Gyubin. One more time. From the top. No skipping the high note. The world needs to be ready for you.”
She sighed dramatically, but obediently picked up the hairbrush she’d been using as a microphone.
“Fine. But if I mess up, I’m making you sing.”
He placed a hand on his heart. “I’d never survive such humiliation. So for the sake of both of us, you better crush it.”
She laughed, took a breath, and sang again.
Even then—before the training, before the studios, before the industry had even heard her name—Y/N thought she was already a star.
He just didn’t know that one day, the song she’d sing wouldn’t be for the world.
It would be for him.
—
By the time they were in high school, “future idol” jokes had become part of their daily routine.
“Autograph, please,” Y/N said one Tuesday afternoon, shoving a receipt and pen under her nose as they left a convenience store. “Might sell this in ten years.”
“You’re going to sell my autograph?” Gyubin scoffed, clutching her triangle kimbap. “Wow. Fake fan behavior.”
“I’m not fake,” he protested. “I’m just realistic.”
She arched a brow. “Realistic?”
“Yeah. I’ll wait for it to reach peak value,” he said, deadpan. “Then I’ll sell it at an auction and retire early.”
“Unbelievable,” she muttered, but the corners of her lips betrayed her. “You’re terrible.”
“And you’re going to be famous,” he replied, nudging her shoulder with his. “So sign it.”
She did.
And a year later, when she passed her audition for a small but promising entertainment company, Y/N took out that crumpled convenience-store receipt from the back of a drawer and stared at her messy scrawl.
“Guess I was right,” he mumbled to himself with a quiet, almost disbelieving smile.
—
Training made Gyubin’s days shorter and her nights much, much longer.
Her messages changed from:
[Gyubin]: Wanna come over after cram school?
[Gyubin]: Let’s get tteokbokki tomorrow.
to:
[Gyubin]: Just finished practice… my legs are dead…
[Gyubin]: I smell like the inside of a gym locker please help
[Gyubin]: Can’t go out today TTT I have extra vocal lesson
But if the frequency of their hangouts dropped, the intensity of their texts only grew.
Late at night, when she couldn’t sleep because the melody stuck in her head wouldn’t leave, she would call him.
Sometimes he’d answer sounding half-asleep, voice low and scratchy.
Sometimes he’d answer in the middle of playing games, the clacking of his keyboard in the background.
It didn’t matter. He always answered.
“Y/N,” she whispered one night, the digital clock in her dorm reading 1:37 a.m.
“Mm?” he murmured, sounding like he’d been dozing.
“Do you think I’m doing the right thing?”
There was a rustle, like he was sitting up in bed. “What do you mean?”
“This,” she said, picking at the seam of her blanket. “Training. Singing. Dancing. Trying to debut. All of it. Sometimes it feels like I’m… selfish. You’re all going to university and I’m just… singing.”
“First of all, you are the least selfish person I know,” he said firmly. “Second, you’re not ‘just singing.’ This is your dream.”
“Everyone wants to be an idol,” she muttered. “What makes me special?”
He was quiet for a second, and her heart skipped. She almost regretted asking. Then:
“You,” he said simply. “You make it special.”
Her cheeks warmed, even though there was no one there to see. “That’s cheesy.”
“You called me at 1:30 in the morning, you don’t get to complain about cheese,” he replied, a chuckle in his voice now. “Look, Gyubin. You’ve always been like this. Even when it was just stupid school performances, you gave everything, right? You get this look on your face when you sing—like the rest of the world disappears. I don’t see that with other people.”
Her throat tightened. “You really think I can… debut?”
“I don’t ‘think.’ I know.” His voice dropped a little. “Since we were, like, ten, remember? I already told you. When you debut, I’ll be your first fan. That promise hasn’t expired yet.”
She swallowed. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay,” she repeated, smiling into the darkness. “Guess I’m counting on you then, First Fan.”
“Don't worry about it,” he said.
And he meant it.
—
The first time Gyubin walked into the studio that would become her second home, she buzzed with a cocktail of nerves and excitement.
The place smelled like coffee and dust and faintly of someone’s cologne. The walls were half bare, half covered in pinned-up lyric sheets and printed schedules. A microphone waited in the booth like a silent judge.
Her producer, a tired-looking but kind-eyed man in his thirties, leaned back in his chair as she finished singing through a demo track.
“So,” he said, tapping his pen against a notebook, “we need something that feels… you.”
She frowned. “Me?”
“Yeah. Not just ‘good vocal, good melody’ type of song,” he explained. “Something personal. Honest. Do you write?”
“A little,” she said softly. Her heart beat faster. “Mostly just lines. Not full songs.”
“Let me see sometime,” he said. “For your debut, it’d be strong if we had lyrics that came from you. From your real feelings. First love, maybe? Crush?” He raised an eyebrow. “Something like that.”
Her mind, without her permission, flashed to Y/N’s face.
To the way he always waited for her outside the station, even when it was late and chilly.
To the way he’d memorized her practice schedule so he knew when not to bother her, but still sent her stupid memes at 3 p.m. every day “so you don’t die from boredom between vocal and dance.”
To the way he’d said, You make it special.
Her heart stumbled.
“Maybe,” she said quickly, looking down at her hands. “I… can try.”
The producer smiled. “Good. Think about it. Think about someone who makes you feel something. Excitement, butterflies, comfort. The kind of person you can’t stop thinking about. Start from there.”
That night, sitting on the thin mattress of her dorm bed with her hair still damp from a quick shower, she opened a blank page on her phone.
She hesitated only a second before typing the title:
really like you (demo)
Her thumb hovered over the keyboard as she replayed small moments in her mind.
The way her heart sped up whenever Y/N leaned closer to show her something on his phone.
The way her stomach flipped at his random late-night calls.
The way he brushed it off so easily whenever he did something quietly thoughtful—like buying an extra bottle of her favorite yogurt drink so he could hand it to her as soon as she stepped off the train.
She started to write.
i think i did it again / i can’t stop looking at you / oh, why?
She paused, then grinned to herself, her fingers flying faster.
when you get closer to me / with such a lovely smile / oh, my
The words poured out—not perfectly, not in their final form, but enough that she felt like her chest was finally loosening.
She didn’t think of them as lyrics at first.
They were confessions she didn’t dare say aloud.
—
Over the next few weeks, “Really Like You” stopped being just a file name on her phone and slowly turned into something real.
She’d sit in the corner of the practice room during breaks, headphones half on, half off, mouthing the phrases as the melody took shape in her head.
Her producer would glance over her shoulder, occasionally suggesting tweaks.
“You make me so much hyped up like when I had too much caffeine,” she read aloud one afternoon, cheeks burning. “Is that too… silly?”
“Are you thinking about coffee or a person when you sing it?” he asked.
She looked away. “A person.”
“Then it’s not silly,” he said. “It’s honest. Keep it.”
Honest.
The word rang in her head for days.
And every time, Y/N’s face surfaced.
—
She almost told him.
Once.
She’d sent him a voice note of a rough, humming version of the pre-chorus, just to ask, “Does this sound weird?”
He’d replied within minutes.
[Y/N]: Wait play that again
[Y/N]: That line
[Y/N]: “i’m into you baby i know what to say / don’t wanna hold it back i’m gonna tell you”
[Y/N]: It’s so catchy
[Y/N]: It sounds… like you
Her fingers trembled over the keyboard.
For a split second, she considered it.
I wrote it about you.
The words trembled on the screen in an unsent message box, glaring at her. Her heart pounded so hard it hurt.
Instead, she backspaced, letter by agonizing letter, until the screen was blank again.
She exhaled slowly and typed:
[Gyubin]: haha it’s just a draft
[Gyubin]: producer said i should write smth “personal”
[Gyubin]: it’s embarrassing
His answer came quickly, as always.
[Y/N]: personal is good
[Y/N]: i like it
[Y/N]: feels like… idk, like someone confessing?
[Y/N]: whoever you’re thinking of is lucky lol
Gyubin stared at that message for a long, long time.
“Lucky,” she whispered into the empty dorm room. “If you knew it was you.”
But she said nothing.
—
When the company finally confirmed it—that this song, the one carved out of her secret heart, would be her debut track—she almost laughed.
Of course.
Of course the universe would make her first step into the world a confession she never dared make.
“We’ll polish the lyrics, adjust a few phrases for flow, but keep the core,” her producer said, scrolling through the document. “It feels… very you. Sweet, bubbly, honest. Good.”
Sweet.
Honest.
Her.
She wondered what Y/N would think if he ever found out.
Would he laugh? Get awkward? Pull away? Would he feel pressured, trapped?
One thing terrified her more than anything else: the thought of losing him.
So she kept her mouth shut.
—
On the night the official announcement dropped—“GYUBIN to debut as a solo artist with digital single ‘Really Like You’”—her phone nearly exploded.
Old classmates, trainee friends, even that one vocal coach who’d always said she was “too soft” sent her messages.
But the one she waited for appeared near the top of her notifications, exactly on time.
[Y/N]: ARE YOU FAMOUS NOW
[Y/N]: WHAT DO I CALL YOU
[Y/N]: NO MORE “HEY YOU”?
She snorted, then replied:
[Gyubin]: call me “Your Highness”
[Gyubin]: i’ll let you be my fan no. 1
His response was immediate.
[Y/N]: let me????
[Y/N]: EXCUSE ME i applied for this position years ago
[Y/N]: i’m not “let” in i AM the ceo of your fandom
She laughed hard enough that her fellow trainee roommate peeked in.
“You okay?” the girl asked.
“Yeah,” Gyubin said, still smiling at her screen. “I’m good.”
Another message popped up.
[Y/N]: when does the song come out exactly?
[Y/N]: we’re listening together right?
[Y/N]: i need to see your reaction to my reaction
Her heart gave a little jump.
She stared at that message, feeling everything speeding up and slowing down all at once.
we’re listening together right?
He was half-expecting it, she knew. Half-joking about the song being “personal.” Half-suspecting. But not knowing.
Not yet.
She typed:
Gyubin: of course
Gyubin: come over that night?
Gyubin: my dorm is a no-fun zone so maybe your place?
Y/N: i’ll get snacks
Y/N: we’ll celebrate your world domination
World domination.
She smiled, then bit her lip.
So this was it.
Her debut.
And, possibly, the moment everything changed between them.
—
Release day came on a chilly evening that didn’t quite feel like winter but definitely wasn’t the fading warmth of autumn anymore.
Gyubin spent most of the day at the company—last-minute vocal checks, a tiny photoshoot, content for social media. Every time someone congratulated her, she smiled and bowed and said, “Please look forward to it,” like she’d been trained to.
But under all the polite gratitude, there was a constant, jittery hum only one person could calm.
[Y/N]: you alive?
He texted her around 6 p.m., when she finally got a moment alone in a quiet hallway.
Gyubin: i think my heart is going to jump out of my mouth during the live
Gyubin: pls catch it if it rolls your way
[Y/N]: if your heart rolls anywhere near me i’m keeping it
[Y/N]: finders keepers
Her breath caught.
She stared at those words for a second too long.
It was just his usual banter, the kind of thing he always said. But today, with everything else swirling around her—the title of her song, the lyrics etched into her brain—it felt painfully on the nose.
Gyubin: but thanks i feel better now lol
Gyubin: see you later?
[Y/N]: i’ll be waiting
[Y/N]: don’t make your #1 fan wait too long
She tucked her phone away and pressed her back to the wall for a moment, eyes closed.
“You’re okay,” she whispered to herself. “It’s just Y/N. It’s always been Y/N.”
And that, exactly that, was what scared her most.
—
By the time she reached his apartment that night, it felt like she’d been running on fumes and adrenaline for hours.
He opened the door before she could knock a second time.
“There she is!” he exclaimed, arms already spread thematically wide. “Miss Soloist. Come in, your stage awaits.”
His place looked the same as always: a little messy, a little cozy, a lot like him. There was a blanket draped over the couch, two mismatched cushions, and a coffee table already laden with snacks—chips, cookies, bottles of soda, and, inexplicably, a bowl of cherry tomatoes.
She stared at the tomatoes. “What is this?”
“Health,” he said solemnly, closing the door behind her. “You idols have to eat vegetables.”
“Cherry tomatoes are technically fruit,” she muttered, slipping off her shoes.
“Then it’s dessert,” he shot back. “Sit.”
She dropped onto the couch, her shoulders finally sagging as the door clicked shut. It was like stepping back into a pocket of time where she was just Gyubin, not “Gyubin-ssi, the upcoming soloist.”
Y/N flopped down beside her, close but not too close, his familiar warmth bleeding into the small space between them. The TV in front of them glowed with the YouTube homepage, already open on her official channel.
“Okay,” he said, clapping his hands once. “Countdown time. When is it exactly?”
“Midnight,” she replied. Her voice sounded small to her own ears.
He checked his phone. “We’ve got… twenty minutes. Perfect. Enough time to emotionally prepare and eat my body weight in chips.”
“I feel like I’m going to throw up,” she groaned, slumping further down.
“Don’t do that,” he said quickly. “We just cleaned last week.”
She laughed weakly. “Wow, your concern for me is touching.”
“I am concerned,” he corrected. “I’m concerned that if you’re sick, you won’t properly record your reaction to your own song, and then I’ll have nothing to blackmail you with later.”
“You’re the worst,” she said, but she was smiling now.
He reached out and, in a gentle, almost absent motion, adjusted a loose strand of hair that had fallen into her eyes.
The world tilted.
“Better,” he said.
She stared at him, her heartbeat stuttering.
He’d always done things like that without thinking. Tugged her scarf tighter in winter. Wiped a smudge off her cheek with his thumb. Thrown his jacket over her head when it suddenly started raining.
Everything he did made her heart flutter in ways she’d never figured out how to confess, so she’d turned them into lyrics instead.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked, eyebrows quirking.
“Nothing,” she said quickly, sitting up straighter. “I’m just… nervous.”
His features softened. “Hey.” He reached for the remote and turned the TV’s volume down a notch, like quieting the room would quiet her anxiety too. “Look at me.”
She did.
“This is a big day,” he said, voice gentle. “It’s okay to be nervous. But also… you know this is good, right? Not just ‘you sound nice’ good. It’s… this is you. I’m really proud of you.”
Her throat went tight. “Don’t say stuff like that right now, I’ll cry.”
“Then cry,” he said easily. “We have tissues. Very high-quality tissues. I bought the nice kind for this occasion.”
She let out a shaky laugh. “You’re ridiculous.”
“But you’re not,” he replied, tilting his head slightly. “You’re debuting, Gyubin. You did it. Remember fourth grade? Fifth? All those stupid school stages? You’re really… doing it.”
“I know,” she whispered. Then, with a small, lopsided smile, “I had help.”
He waved a hand. “You did all the hard stuff. I just pressed play on your YouTube views.”
“You were there,” she insisted. “You’re always there.”
His eyes flickered with something she couldn’t quite name. “Yeah. I guess I am.”
Silence settled between them, but it wasn’t awkward. It was warm, heavy with unsaid things.
On the TV screen, a scheduled video player already displayed the thumbnail for “Really Like You,” grayed out with a timer at the bottom corner.
00:04:12 until premiere.
Her heart lurched.
She clasped her hands together tightly in her lap.
Y/N noticed.
Without looking at her, he shifted his hand over and gently nudged her knuckles with his.
“Hey,” he said quietly. “Breathe.”
She hadn’t even realized she’d been holding her breath.
She inhaled, then exhaled slowly, following the subtle rhythm he’d given her without words.
“Better?” he asked.
“A little,” she managed.
They watched the seconds tick down together.
At 00:01:30, Y/N reached over and grabbed a bag of chips, then paused.
“Wait,” he said. “This feels wrong. We need something more… official.”
She blinked. “Official?”
He scrambled off the couch and disappeared into his bedroom. She heard drawers opening, some muttered curses, and then he returned, triumphant, holding—
A homemade sign.
It was a piece of A4 paper, slightly crumpled, with messy marker letters that read: “GYUBIN #1 FAN” surrounded by uneven hearts and a very lopsided doodle of a microphone.
She stared at it.
He looked half shy, half smug. “Told you I’d be your first fan.”
For a second, her vision blurred.
“Y/N,” she said, her voice wobbly. “That is… the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen.”
He clutched his chest dramatically. “Wow. No appreciation for art.”
“It’s so ugly,” she repeated. Her lips trembled. “I… love it.”
He beamed and plopped back down beside her, holding the sign up with one hand like they were already in an arena.
“Okay, okay,” he said, bouncing a little in place. “Atmosphere set. Snacks ready. Fan sign ready. Emotional support… pending.”
She laughed through a sniffle, wiping her eyes quickly. “Don’t say ‘pending.’ It makes it sound like I might get rejected.”
He glanced sideways at her, something soft and serious flickering in his gaze. “Not from me,” he said.
Her next breath caught in her throat.
The timer hit 00:00:10.
She swallowed. “It’s starting.”
His hand—still hovering near hers—tightened slightly, his pinky brushing against her fingers.
“Ready?” he asked.
She wasn’t.
Not for the world hearing her heart on loop. Not for him hearing it and maybe, possibly, understanding it was his reflection she’d been writing about.
But she nodded anyway.
“Yeah,” she whispered. “I’m ready.”
The timer hit zero.
The screen flickered, and the video began.
—
The opening notes hit—bright, gentle, the kind of sound that felt like sunshine seeping through curtains.
The first image was of her: Gyubin on-screen, in soft colors, a shy, almost surprised smile playing on her lips as she looked into the camera. Pastel backgrounds, floating star decorations, a vintage-looking coffee shop setting.
But the screen blurred at the edges of her vision.
All she could hear was her own voice filling the room.
“I think I did it again
I can’t stop looking at you
Oh, why?”
Y/N leaned forward slightly, elbows on his knees, eyes glued to the screen. His face was unreadable, focused—it was his “serious” look, the one he rarely wore unless something really mattered.
On-screen, Gyubin’s video self looked out a window, hugging a notebook to her chest. In the lyric video overlay, the words popped up in soft handwriting font.
I think I did it again
I can’t stop looking at you
Oh, why?
She risked a sideways glance at the real Y/N.
He was frowning very faintly, not in disapproval, but in concentration.
“When you get closer to me
With such a lovely smile
Oh, my”
He chuckled quietly. “That’s cute,” he muttered, almost to himself.
Her cheeks burned. She dragged her gaze back to the screen.
The pre-chorus flowed in, the beat picking up slightly.
“You make me so much hyped up like when I had too much caffeine
Everything feels so good, my heart beats so fast, but I don’t care”
She saw it then—the exact moment the lyrics started to sink in.
Y/N’s easy smile faltered for a fraction of a second. His eyes narrowed slightly, his brows pulling together, like he was mentally ticking boxes.
Too much caffeine— He knew she always compared her nervousness to “coffee jitters.”
Heart beating fast— He knew she said that every time she performed, joked about it when he held her up afterwards.
“I’m into you, baby, I know what to say
Don’t wanna hold it back, I’m gonna tell you”
His shoulders stiffened the tiniest bit.
Her stomach flipped over.
Then the chorus hit, bright and shameless, her voice a cheerful confession floating over glittery synths.
“I like you
More than just a friend
Crush on you
So be mine (I really like)”
He went completely still.
For the first time since the video started, he tore his eyes away from the screen and looked at her.
“You… wrote this,” he said, his voice low.
It wasn’t a question.
She gripped the hem of her sweater, knuckles turning white. “Yeah.”
“‘More than just a friend,’” he repeated, eyes flicking back to the lyrics onscreen.
I like you
More than just a friend
Crush on you
So be mine
He swallowed. She could see his throat move.
“For you
Can sing this all day long
Don’t wanna hold it back, I’m gonna tell you
I really like you”
Her own voice echoed around them, sweet and clear and terribly, terrifyingly honest.
Her heart pounded so fast it hurt.
He looked… thrown. Not in a bad way. Just like someone who had opened a door expecting a storage closet and found a hidden garden instead.
The first chorus ended. The video transitioned to her walking through a park, headphones on, daydreaming.
Verse 2 began.
“Somehow I get this feeling, babe
You and I will be so perfect
Like a shooting star, I just wanna fall in you”
She winced at her own line. It sounded even cheesier now that he was right there.
Y/N, however, breathed out a sound that was almost a laugh, but too soft. “A shooting star,” he murmured.
“Why do you look at me like that?
’Cause you will get my mind go all blank
Ooh, feels like I am on a cloud nine”
He shifted.
She felt it more than saw it—the slight movement as he sat back, as if putting physical space between himself and the impact of the words.
She wished she could sink into the couch and disappear.
The second pre-chorus rolled in:
“You and I every day and night, we’re texting like signal
You call me just to say random things on the weekends, boy”
He let out a breath.
There it was.
Those lines weren’t just general “couple” behavior—they were almost literal descriptions of their lives. The constant texting. His random weekend calls about nothing.
His hand, still resting near hers, flexed.
“We’re into each other, you know what I’d say
Don’t need to hold it back, want you to tell me”
If he connected the dots here—
She didn’t realize how tightly she was holding herself until the second chorus washed over them, then the delicate bridge:
“Wishing upon a twinkle star
Shining and glittering lights just like my heart
I don’t need explanations, no fancy words
Just gonna tell you that I, I really, really like you”
She watched the Y/N beside her as her on-screen self sang.
His eyes had softened in a way she’d never quite seen before—like he was looking at something too bright directly, forcing himself not to look away.
When the final chorus played—more of a post-chorus variation this time, with different lyrics—
“With you
Wanna call you mine (Oh)
I’m only you
I’m gonna give you all of my world
Are you ready for love?
Are you ready for this?
You, tell me what you want”
—he inhaled sharply.
Her cheeks burned.
Finally, the video faded into the gentle, dreamlike outro. Her voice, softer now, floated through the room.
“Wanna be with you forever
You and I together, we can feel love, ooh, woah
When we hold out hands together
In my heart all over, I’m filled with love, ooh, woah
I really like you”
The last note lingered.
The video cut to black, then to a simple “Thank you for listening” screen.
Silence fell.
Her heartbeat thundered in her ears.
She watched the little bar at the bottom of the video reach the end, then loop back to the beginning thumbnail.
She didn’t dare move.
Beside her, Y/N slowly lowered the crumpled “GYUBIN #1 FAN” sign he’d been holding semi-forgotten in his lap. He set it gently on the coffee table, hands lingering on it for a second longer than necessary.
“Wow,” he said finally.
Her stomach twisted. “Wow good? Or wow… bad?”
He turned his head to look at her.
His eyes were bright in the glow from the TV.
“Gyubin,” he said softly. “It’s… incredible.”
She let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.
“Your voice, the melody, the lyrics… it’s so… you,” he continued. “It’s like… if you took your brain and heart and turned them into a song. It’s really… beautiful.”
She blinked rapidly, eyes prickling. “Thanks.”
He smiled faintly. Then his gaze dropped, just for a second, before meeting hers again. “Can I ask you something?”
Her mouth went dry. “O-okay.”
“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” he said quickly. “I mean it. You can tell me to shut up.”
Her heart hammered. “Y/N—”
“The lyrics,” he said softly. “Some of them felt… familiar.”
She swallowed.
“You and I every day and night, we’re texting like signal,” he quoted quietly. “You call me just to say random things on the weekends, boy.”
Her fingers curled into her palms.
“Who else does that with you?” he asked, voice still gentle. “Who else spam texts you memes and calls you at weird hours to talk about… nothing?”
No one, she almost said.
Aloud, she said nothing.
He looked down at his hands, turning his fingers over, like he was trying to see something written there.
“And ‘I like you, more than just a friend’…” He exhaled, a small, disbelieving sound. “When I heard that I thought—no, I’m probably just being narcissistic. Because… why would it be me?”
Her chest ached.
“But then the second verse,” he went on. “‘You and I every day and night, we’re texting like signal.’” He huffed a quiet laugh, more air than sound. “Gyubin… that’s us. Isn’t it?”
She forced herself to look at him.
His eyes weren’t mocking. They weren’t teasing, or even shocked.
They were… careful. Hopeful, maybe. Scared, definitely.
“Yes,” she whispered before she could talk herself out of it. “It is.”
He blinked, just once.
The room felt suddenly very small.
“Are you…” He swallowed, his voice dropping almost to a whisper. “Are you saying… the song is about…?”
“You,” she said.
The word hung there, heavy and precious.
“I wrote it about you.”
There was a ringing in her ears.
She watched the realization ripple through him—eyes widening, shoulders tensing, fingers curling against his jeans.
“Since when?” he asked, like he needed to map the timeline to make any sense of this.
She let out a helpless, tiny laugh. “I… don’t know. Since always? Since… you started calling me on weekends just to complain about how bad your route to school was. Since you stayed with me on the phone the night before my first audition and listened to me panic for an hour. Since you said you’d be my first fan when I was eleven and never took it back.”
Her lips trembled.
“I didn’t… plan to fall for you,” she admitted in a rush. “It just… happened. I kept thinking it’d go away. That it was just because we’ve known each other forever. But then I started writing, and every time I tried to write about ‘someone who makes my heart race’ or ‘someone I can’t stop thinking about,’ it was… always you.”
She laughed weakly, wiping at her eyes with her sleeves. “So I thought… if I put it into a song, maybe it would be easier. Like… like hiding it in plain sight. It’s just lyrics, right? Just a “concept.” But then they picked it as my debut and I almost fainted.”
“Gyubin,” he said, her name barely audible.
“I was so scared,” she whispered. “That you’d hear it and figure it out and… and freak out. Or laugh. Or avoid me. But I also—” She swallowed, the words thick. “I wrote, ‘Don’t wanna hold it back, I’m gonna tell you.’ And I thought… maybe this is the only way I’ll ever be brave enough.”
Silence.
She looked down at her hands, blurred through tears.
“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice cracking. “I know your life is… normal. You didn’t ask to be in some idol’s debut song. I know this could make things complicated and I don’t want that for you. I just… I really, really like you, Y/N. More than just a friend. And even if you… don’t feel the same, I wanted you to at least know. Even if you pretend you don’t. Even if we just… go back to normal. I—”
Her ramble was cut off when something warm and steady closed over her hands.
She blinked through the blur.
Y/N had taken both her hands in his.
His grip was firm but careful, thumbs brushing gently over her knuckles. His face was close enough now that she could see the faint flush on his cheeks, the way his eyes shone with something that made her chest ache.
“Gyubin,” he said again, more clearly this time. “Stop apologizing.”
She hiccuped. “But I—”
“Don’t,” he said softly. “Don’t apologize for… feeling. Especially not to me.”
She pressed her lips together.
He took a breath, like he was steadying himself on the edge of something high.
“You’re not the only one who’s been scared,” he said, his voice so gentle it almost broke her.
Her heart stuttered.
“I’ve… liked you for a long time too,” he confessed quietly. “I don’t know when it started either. Maybe when you made me sing backup for you in middle school and I realized your voice made my entire day for no good reason. Maybe when you got into that company and I felt… weirdly sad that everyone else was going to see what I’d always seen first.”
He laughed weakly. “At first I told myself it was just… pride. Like, ‘I knew her before all of you.’ But it wasn’t just that.”
She stared at him, breath stuck in her lungs.
“I didn’t say anything because…” He glanced away for a second, then back at her. “Because I’m just… me. Some guy who barely passed math and eats ramyeon too much and forgets to charge his phone.”
“You always answer my calls,” she whispered.
He smiled. “Yeah. I do. And you’re… you. Brilliant, talented, going after something huge. I thought if I said anything and you… liked me back, I’d just make your life harder. Public and private and scandal and all that. And if you didn’t… I’d lose you. I didn’t want either of those.”
She made a small, helpless sound.
“But then your song started,” he said, eyes searching hers, “and I heard ‘I like you, more than just a friend,’ and I just… I couldn’t stop thinking, ‘Please let it be me. Please, please let it be me.’”
A tear slipped down her cheek.
He let go of one hand just long enough to clumsily wipe it away with his thumb, his touch feather-light.
“So when you say the song is about me…” A shaky smile tugged at his lips. “I don’t feel… pressured. Or trapped. I feel… really, really lucky.”
She let out a half-laugh, half-sob. “That’s my line.”
“Well,” he said softly, “then we match.”
He took a breath, hesitated, and then asked, almost far too politely:
“Can I…?”
His hand moved just slightly, as if asking if he could step closer, lean closer, bridge the last tiny bit of distance between them that “just friends” always maintained.
Gyubin didn’t think.
She nodded.
He shifted, closing the gap.
Their shoulders brushed. His knee bumped hers.
He leaned in slowly, giving her every chance to pull away, to change her mind.
She didn’t.
His forehead came to rest against hers, breath warm, noses almost touching.
Her heart went wild.
“In case the song wasn’t clear enough,” he whispered, voice trembling just a fraction, “I really, really like you too, Gyubin. More than just a friend. I want to be… yours. And I want you to be mine. Even if it’s not always easy.”
She shook out a tiny laugh, more tears spilling down. “You’re going to make me ruin my debut makeup.”
“You look perfect,” he murmured. “Mascara rivers and all.”
She sniffled. “You haven’t even seen the mascara yet.”
He laughed softly and leaned back just enough to see her face properly.
His thumbs brushed under her eyes again, carefully, clumsily gentle, wiping away what he could. He looked at her like she wasn’t just a girl who got lucky and debuted.
He looked at her like she was the only thing in the room that mattered.
“I really like you,” she whispered, the words tasting different spoken aloud instead of sung.
“I really like you,” he echoed, his voice firm, sure. “No chorus, no melody, just… me.”
She smiled then—a real, wide, shaky smile that crinkled her eyes.
He smiled back.
On the TV, YouTube’s autoplay replayed the “Really Like You” thumbnail, waiting.
Without breaking eye contact, Y/N groped blindly for the remote and hit repeat.
The opening bars of the song played again, soft and sweet in the background.
But this time, when her own voice sang, “I like you, more than just a friend,” she didn’t feel terrified.
She felt… exactly where she was meant to be.
With him.
—
They didn’t define everything that night.
There were too many questions they didn’t have answers to yet.
How would they navigate her schedules? His school? How would they keep things private without feeling like they were hiding something shameful? How would they balance her growing public image with the quiet, ordinary comfort of holding hands on his couch?
But they didn’t need all the answers right away.
They had time.
They had each other.
And they had a song that had already said everything for them, before either of them were brave enough to say it alone.
As the last chorus played again, Y/N shifted closer, their shoulders pressed tight now.
He hesitated once more, then slowly laced their fingers together.
His hand was warm, calloused in spots from whatever random hobbies he’d picked up, a little too big around hers.
She squeezed back.
He glanced at her, nervous.
“Is this okay?” he asked quietly.
She laughed, soft and disbelieving and full of something so bright it almost hurt.
“Yeah,” she said. “It’s more than okay.”
He exhaled, his shoulders relaxing.
“Then get used to it,” he said, mock-serious. “Because as your official number one fan slash boyfriend slash unpaid manager, I’m going to hold your hand a lot.”
Her ears burned at “boyfriend,” but it settled in her chest like a puzzle piece finally clicking into place.
“Unpaid?” she sniffed. “Bold of you to assume I won’t pay you in signed albums.”
“I already have your autograph,” he bragged. “From the convenience store. Limited edition.”
She rolled her eyes and let her head fall onto his shoulder. “Fine. Then I’ll pay you in… exclusive behind-the-scenes content.”
“What, like you yelling at your manager because they won’t let you eat spicy rice cakes before a recording?” he teased.
“Yes,” she said. “Exactly that.”
He chuckled, the sound rumbling through his chest against her cheek.
Outside, the city went on, unaware. Streetlights flickered. Cars passed. Somewhere, on someone else’s screen, her song might have been playing too.
But right then, in that small living room that smelled faintly of fabric softener and cherry tomatoes, there were only two people.
One girl who had poured her heart into a song.
One boy who had been waiting, hoping, half-guessing that it might be his heart it was meant for.
And between them, a simple, repeated truth, carried on her melody and his answer:
I like you.
More than just a friend.
—
Later that night, after he walked her to the station and fussed over her scarf and told her to text him when she got back to the dorm, she lay on her narrow bed, phone held above her face.
Her notification bar was overflowing—comments, messages, tags, streaming numbers climbing in real time.
But her eyes went straight to the top, to one particular chat.
[Y/N]: send me a selca
She blinked.
[Y/N]: to commemorate the day my favorite singer debuted
[Y/N]: and confessed to me
[Y/N]: and became my girlfriend
Her face burned.
[Gyubin]: you’re embarrassing
[Y/N]: you like it
She did.
More than he knew.
She snapped a quick, slightly messy selfie—hair down, barefaced, still in the hoodie she’d worn to his place. Her eyes were a little puffy, but she was smiling.
She sent it.
A few seconds later, his reply came:
[Y/N]: i really like you
No melody. No background track.
Just plain text.
She smiled so wide her cheeks hurt.
Her own fingers moved almost before she could think about it.
[Gyubin]: i really like you too
She put her phone down on her chest and stared up at the plain white ceiling of her dorm.
Somewhere out there, people were hearing her song for the first time, filling it with their own stories, their own crushes and confessions.
But she knew—this song would always be about this.
A living room. A boy. A sign that said “#1 fan.”
A debut that doubled as a confession.
And a love story that finally stepped out from behind the lyrics and into the light.
—
In the weeks that followed, Y/N did exactly what he promised.
He became her biggest cheerleader.
He streamed “Really Like You” on loop, to the point where even his parents started humming the chorus unconsciously.
He sent her screenshots of milestones—10,000 views, 100,000, the first fan-made edit on social media.
[Y/N]: look someone made a “cloud nine” montage of you
[Y/N]: they get it
He came to her first small showcase, hiding at the back, cap pulled low, mask on, cheering so loudly that she recognized his voice anyway.
Afterwards, when she stumbled out of the back entrance tired and exhilarated, he was there, holding two cups of her favorite warm drink.
“You did it,” he said, eyes shining. “I told you so.”
“You did,” she said, nudging his shoulder. “Don’t get used to it.”
“I’m going to get very used to it,” he declared. “I’m going to be insufferable about being right.”
She laughed and leaned into him, their hands finding each other as easily as breathing now.
But no matter how many stages she stood on, how many cameras she smiled into, she never forgot the first time “Really Like You” played.
In a small living room, on an ordinary couch, with the boy she wrote it for sitting right beside her.
Listening.
Understanding.
And finally, bravely, really, really liking her back.
Note: umm...@kwilquib @erospandemos @leafostuff have fun XD
(2.9k words)
Are you a weirdo if you keep looking through the window across the street to see Gyubin constantly? Especially today?
Don't think so. It's not like you're waiting for her, that's weird. You're just…checking outside. Every ten minutes…no, five…ok fine, you do check constantly.
In your defense, your bedroom window faces directly to her bedroom window, which means every time you look up from your book, your eyes naturally drift toward the house opposite yours.Excuses including the giggles across the street, the little waves she gives whenever you two make eye contact, sometimes the huge teddy bear she always dived to whenever she had a bad day (accompanied by her legs kicking vigorously).
For today, it's the dress.
Her bedroom light illuminates, and your mind brings you to a stage with her as the main actress in the spotlight. She smooths the front of her white dress, twirls left and right, clearly inspecting herself. The dress isn't over the top at all, but damn, doesn't it suit her unfairly well. Very elegant, very simple, very demure. Such a serendipitous event, you tell yourself.
Alright, gotta duck behind the curta— oops, too late. She caught you already, waving her hands excitedly while immediately breaking into that familiar grin.
You could only wave back.
Words are impossible from this distance (unless you two shout), since her bedroom and yours face each other across a suburban street that's wide enough for the world to witness the embarrassment of shouting if that is happening.
Languages formed. It started years ago since she first moved to this neighbourhood with her family — A wave is hi, holding up food is I'm eating, tapping your wrist means you're late, middle finger is middle finger. (It's only that one time, come on. Don't be nosy.)
Back to the present, the main girl presses both palms against the window dramatically (you wonder if the sound reaches you first, or the glasses break first). She gives you a spin, the dress twirls naturally once again. She points at herself and raises her eyebrows.
Well?
You give her two thumbs up. A girl looks pretty, and she deserves all the praises.
Of course, the main actress gasps theatrically and places both hands over her heart like she won a Grammy. And, oh my god, she bows. This idiot (it does give you a chuckle, though. You always do.)
Her bedroom door opens behind her. Her mother appears and says something to her, Gyubin nods back. The girl grabs a small purse off the bed and about to walk out of the room. But she glances back toward your window one last time.
She points at herself, then mimics walking as she points down the street.
Ah, it's prom night. Right.
You give her another thumbs up, which prompts a smile in her. Did you know that she has a cute smile? You know what's cuter? Gyubin forms a tiny finger heart and you make out back (well, awkwardly.)
Satisfied, she disappears from the room, and the bedroom light switches off.
You continue standing there long after she is gone. "…Lucky bastard."
-
Now, Gyubin is pretty.
Funny and friendly, too. Teachers adore her a lot, she is a model student after all. The old ladies at the restaurants you two walk by remember her as "the pretty lass", and heck, cats and birds sometimes gather around her like she just stepped out of a Disney movie.
It is, with high probability, that she'd have someone. Just that you didn't think it'd bother you this much. Tsk, whatever. Good for her, definitely, but prom is such a pain to go. Dress up for a night surrounded by fellow teens and foods that clearly don't fill you up as much as a bowl of ramen.
Are you projecting? Perchance. You don't care at all. Not even once.
Except the fact that you have mumbled that same phrase around forty seven times while trying to finish one chapter. The forty eighth was while making tea. And the forty ninth while rereading that same paragraph again since your brain is oh-so-busy with the lucky bastard who's going with Gyubin instead of the book.
Fucking hell, the words all blur together now. What can you do, really, except to just slip the bookmark between the pages and close the book. Ugh, quite a waste of money buying that suit hanging on the wardrobe right there huh.
Half an hour later, you're downstairs helping Mum wash the dishes, because it certainly beats sulking in your room with the suit right there. Ok, helping sounds generous, because you have been drying the same plate for the fourth time while keeping glancing at the front window.
"You alright, love?”
"Hm?" "You've been polishing that plate for five minutes."
"Oh. Oops."
Mum chuckles. "She's leaving soon? The neighbour girl?"
"Yeah."
"Prom?"
She hums knowingly when you nod. Man, parents truly are omnipotent.
Ding dong!
Oh? We don't expect any visitors though? Both Mum and you look toward the hallway.
"You mind getting that? "Ok."
Not many thoughts are on your mind, it could've been random people asking for directions, or a delivery you forgot that you have ordered. Yeah, who cares about the peephole, you can just tell them we're busy.
Oh boy, the door opens, and your brain completely stops working.
Gyubin on your doorstep, with that same white dress, the evening sky behind her looks dull. Wow, now that you are closer to her, her hair is done so neatly, there are these small silver earrings with intricate engravings. One hand behind her back, and the other is clutching a tiny paper gift bag.
Huh. Well this is something.
"Hi" Gosh, even her voice is pretty, this is so unfair.
"Hey there, yourself. Didn't your date already—"
"He cancelled."
"Huh?" "Food poisoning…or he said."
"Today?" "Mhm."
To clarify, your brain is still trying to catch up with the situation itself. Prom is like an hour away from happening, and the date that is supposed to be with her is away due to unfortunate circumstances. The back of your mind suddenly flashes the suit hanging in your room, your hand fidgeting in your pocket, your mouth feels dry.
Oddly enough, your eyes fixated on her heels rocking slightly. Is she…no way, right?
"So. I have another plan…" She pulls her hand forward, revealing a small white box. And inside is a blue boutonnière. Oh. Oh my god. Is this a dream? You need someone to smack you to reality right now.
"Gyubin…?"
"Well, I figured…if my original date couldn't come, I should probably ask the person I would love to go with, don't you think?"
"Yeah…yeah that makes sense."
No it is not. Your heartbeat is thumping like a drum. Your thoughts are going haywire. Who knows what the rhythm of your breathing is anymore. Did she actually say that YOU are the one she actually wants to go with? Gyubin, you can't just do this! Oh, and don't worry, it amplifies when she takes the boutonnière out of the box and holds it towards you.
"Well…wanna save me from being the girl who showed up alone?"
All the conversations through the windows, all the waves every morning, moments where you tag by her house and vice versa, nights of hand signs you two give each other, and every second of trying to be nonchalant and pretending nothing was there.
They all make your hand gently take the boutonnière from her. "I should…change first."
"Does that mean yes?"
"Well…you'd look pretty weird standing next to someone wearing sweatpants."
She has these cute blushes on her cheeks that make you just want to squeeze it. "That's…true."
"Yeah…"
The evening breeze drifts between the two houses you've spent years silently communicating across, and somehow standing two feet apart is infinitely more awkward than yelling hand gestures through bedroom windows. Heck, any pair of birds flying by probably cringe and drop to the ground looking at you two.
Your brain, meanwhile, has completely blue-screened. Just say something already, anything to compliment her, she looks so pretty under the downlight, come on!
"You look…different."
Fantastic. Ballistic. Give it up for the worst compliment ever.
"…Different…?" "I meant—I mean, you barely wear dresses, so…"
"Well, you're right." "Damn it, I sound weird."
"Indeed." At least a tiny laugh escapes from her. "You're not this hopeless, mister."
You are very hopeless for Gyubin, especially now. Damn it. Staying cool around Gyubin is very much an impossible task. One cute laugh from her and everything melts.
"Ahem. Well… I should probably get changed." "Of course."
"The suit isn't exactly going to walk downstairs by itself." "You don't know that."
"What do you mean?" "It can just fly down like Doctor Strange's cape, who knows?"
It should be said that it takes every single nerve inside you to not break down in laughter at an admittedly pretty lame joke. Her humour really hits the right spot.
"Give me ten minutes." "Take your time."
"I won't." "Oh you will."
You roll your eyes and begin stepping back inside, one foot crosses the doorway. Then, you feel your hand being tugged back, followed by warm fingers wrap gently around yours.
"Hm?"
You look back at her.
Gyubin hasn't moved, still standing in the same spot and holding your hand. And her face? Trying so hard not to laugh, the tiny grin keeps twitching wider. What is she up to now? Her head tilts innocently too, like a naïve deer in the abyss.
"I almost forgot." "About?"
She leans in, close enough that you can finally notice the familiar note of fresh fragrance - citrus, floral, and woody. Close enough that you can finally see the gleams in her eyes. "There was no date besides you from the start, by the way."
Never have you ever run this fast to get changed.
-
And you have never moved as fast as possible right now to find Gyubin.
The hallway is longer than your brain can remember, the white floors polished enough to catch your tired reflection for a split second before your old knees force you to slow down.
Your eyes slowly lift from the old blue boutonnière in your palm. Not the fresh one from years ago, no — this one has long since dried into muted shades of navy, carefully pressed beneath cracked plastic inside a tiny keepsake box you still carry around.
"…Sir?" A nurse rounds the corner just as you almost pass her. "We have found Mrs. Song again."
Oh. Hah. Of course. Thank the Lord for the younger workforce. Damn these knees, they complain louder than you do nowadays. Funny. At seventeen, you could sprint upstairs in seconds because the girl you loved was waiting outside. At seventy-eight, just standing from a chair requires utmost attention with every old joint in your body.
Thanking the kind nurse, you slowly but surely, move left and right, past the nurses' station, wave to Qwibbo the nice lad feeding imaginary seven thousand pigeons in the sunlight, turn another corner, and—
Music. Someone has left an old radio in the recreation room again. That same, old familiar melody catches your ear and has led you to where she is.
Gyubin. Now with your last name, Song.
She is still wearing the white cardigan your eldest daughter bought her a few Christmases ago that resembles the white dress from the prom date. She is still wearing the wedding ring you've slid back onto her finger more times than you can count with your feeble fingers because she keeps forgetting what it is and leaving it beside the sink. And she is still dancing, slowly swaying by herself and carefully counting under her breath.
"...Five...six...seven..." A tiny turn. "...Eight."
One of the nurses notices you. "She's been like this since she woke up, sir."
"When was that?" "About six."
"Did she eat breakfast?" "A few bites."
"Medicine?"
She nods. "...But she keeps asking what day it is."
You thank the nurse before quietly walking over. "...Hey."
Gyubin looks up, and you swear the sparks in her eyes never go away when seeing you. "There you are!" She said, and your heart foolishly skips, just like every single time, young and old. "I have been looking everywhere for you!"
"Have you?" "Mhm"
She reaches over and straightens your collar. "You'll wrinkle your suit."
You're wearing a knitted cardigan. "…Right. Sorry."
"You always leave everything until the last minute." She shakes her head dramatically. "We're going to be late for prom."
August 27th.
Again, without fail, every morning. She wakes up and checks the calendar beside her bed to find the little circle around August 27th. Then, she spends the rest of the day waiting for prom. Gyubin doesn't remember yesterday, last week, last month, heck, even their wedding day nor your daughter's birthday.
It's only that day.
"…Gyubin, we still have time." "Do we?"
"Mhm." "Oh good, but I haven't practiced enough yet!"
Before you can answer, she begins counting again.
"...Five...six..." Another careful step. "...Seven..."
You quietly follow beside her in case she stumbles. "...Eight."
-
That afternoon, while Gyubin (finally) naps on her hospital bed, you return home for a change of clothes.
The house has been painfully quiet since the children moved out. You make tea out of habit. One cup: just an earl grey tea bag and pour the water in. You're about to reach for the sugar cube, a bag of Persian tea, and absentmindedly reach for the second cup before remembering Gyubin is still in hospital.
The master bedroom that is both yours and hers remains mostly untouched. Her knitted cardigan that matches with yours still hangs behind the door, the half-finished knitting rests beside the armchair. A pair of reading glasses sits atop the novel she never manages to finish (she tried, the books you read can be quite tiring to go through.)
The old suit still hangs there in the wardrobe, pressed and protected.
"…psss, Doctor Strange's cape, huh?"
As you close the wardrobe, a notebook slips from the top shelf. Small, has a floral cover, and softened corners. Strange, you don't remember seeing this before? Curiosity kills this old man, you sit down and open it.
The first page simply reads: Battle Plan for Prom.
Oh…so this is Gyubin's. Too adorable, your wife is.
The second page:
04/08/2021
I need to ask him.
Damn it, too scary. Maybe tomorrow.
05/08/2021
Ugh, I still didn't ask.
Is he that dense? No way right? At least he's pretty cute.
Hopefully he will ask me.
08/08/2021
Are boys always this dumb? Gargghhh notice me already!
10/08/2021
Bought a new keychain for my bag, and tried new perfume.
If he doesn't notice, I will just rocket myself out of the window.
12/08/2021
I have a brilliant idea: Let's just make a fake date and get some friends to spread the rumour. Let's see if that pretty boy looks jealous.
Oh my god, it might have worked. But I wish he would come to me and ask.
"…Song Gyubin, still my little gremlin."
Page after page, each with increasingly more doodles and schedules about this fake date operation, dress sketches and moodboard, and sometimes admittingly bullshit thoughts squeezed into the margins.
Then the final entry.
27/08/2021
He said yes. Gosh I'm the happiest girl in the world.
Please let every dance after this one be with him too.
A small drop lands on the paper before you notice you have been crying since the first page. Come on, gotta wipe this carefully, it's your wife's treasure! For sixty years, you thought she'd simply been teasing you, knowing how sheepish you are. Never knew she'd spent weeks planning every moment waiting, hoping, wishing for you to be hers, and counting down until the day.
Closing the book and gently placing it on the desk as you stand up, you reckon you should practice again, for the prom, of course! Gyubin is waiting.
-
Here is an old man in a navy suit awkwardly counting under his breath in the master bedroom, the room that he and his wife has spent every single moment next to each other.
"...Five..." Left foot. "...Six..." Right. "...Seven..." He immediately steps on his own shoe. "...Ow."
Ok, one more time. "...Five..." No, wrong foot, damn it. Again. "...Five..." Turn. "...Six..." Again. "...Seven..." Again.
And again.
Until your old legs ache. Until you count to eight without messing up the step. Until the rhythm slowly begins returning and imprints onto your body.
Just enough for one more dance, enough for a girl who's still waiting for prom on August 27th.
Alzheimer's disease can steal yesterday, today, eventually tomorrow. But it sure damn couldn't steal the boy who sprinted upstairs to change into a suit, or a girl who stood patiently on the porch, holding a boutonnière and gleaming with hope that her masterplan will work. Those two young 17 year olds still exist somewhere inside her, in parts or as a whole.
But what you know is that, if she insists on waiting for prom, then you'd happily spend the rest of your life making sure she never had to wait alone.
-
With every step you take
I feel good, it’s like we’re dancing together
My, oh my, oh my, oh, my love
Be my only love~
An Yujin x Reader/OC ft. Liz (Kim Jiwon) as supporting character
Word Count: 11.2K, smut.
A/N + Summary:
A silly and not-so-serious self-inserted POV fic drafted when IVE visited Los Angeles a while ago. Thank you so much @autumnyacorn and @dotoliwrites for beta reading and the thoughtful comments! I learned a lot from you two to improve my writing! >3
(Fanprose has one day of early access, see it here: Fanprose)
TW: (sweaty) Car Sex, POV fantasy, idol x fan, bias-cucking
Mid spring, I wander on the streets of Los Angeles to enjoy my long- awaited Spring break. The cloudy cool air brushes my face, Southern California is not always full of sunshine, sometimes the sky is also dim.
Hollywood is still crowded with tourists; I didn’t join their party because I’ve shown multiple family friends around the area to the point where I can basically memorize the orders of the names on the Wall of Fame.
L.A. isn’t always my place; I live in a city where many people would have no idea where it is until I say “It's a 20-minute drive from downtown L.A.” Right now, I am back here, to this place where I mostly visit to relax and to temporarily forget.
The winter quarter had been cruel, failing a class or not is not as important as getting this break ASAP. Fortunately, I am a dedicated DIVE (IVE fandom name) and blasting their songs can restore some of my lost energy – especially right after they released their second full album REVIVE+.
ODD is my favorite song amongst them despite it not being the title track. The lyrics are very poetic, beautifully written. The message of embracing imperfection motivated me out of the self-doubt swamp after failing the first exam of the quarter. “Not bad, this imperfect feeling… asymmetrical lines are beautiful.” I murmur to myself while staring at the asymmetric letter “F” on my Canvas portal.
It’d be nice if I could write a fiction using the lyrics as an anchor… Anyways.
I keep walking, letting the breeze caress my face and my body. My hair is a bit messy, swaying in the wind as I paid little to no attention throughout the quarter to take care of them. Surrounding me is this messy crowd, people from all over the country chit-chat as they blend in to be a part of the City of Angels. How I wish I can see my angels one day?
That day is way sooner than I ever could’ve thought.
-
My phone in the pocket buzzes, a two-line message from my best friend Henry.
“Yo bro, Bob and I are coming to pick you up in a bit! Send us ur address when ur ready.”
Both of them are dedicated DIVEs like myself, and as they now come back from their universities at the east coast during Spring Break, we decided to hang out in Korea Town here in L.A. All three of us had never seen IVE in person before, nor had any of us experienced a concert before. So, now it is a good chance to talk about the plan that takes the virginity of two “first-timers” on one occasion.
I’ll be standing at the Starbucks right next to that In-n-Out, see you in a bit.
-
A few minutes later, I see Bob’s car drifting towards me, Henry waving at me exaggeratedly with both of his arms at the passenger’s seat. I quickly hop on to the backseat before the car behind us even reacts with a honk. Well, that's downtown traffic for you.
“Yo! Long time no see! The last time we met was already…last time! Maybe it was last summer?” Henry greets me with his iconic, yapper-spirited energy.
“Ay I know right? How’s the photocard collection quest going for your hot “wife” Naoi Rei? You said you’re gonna get 100 of them by the next time we meet!” I roast Henry.
A lovesick grin grows on his face, “Ah… about that… almost there…How about you? I bet you’re still watching your I AM Liz fan-cam every day.”
“And that Baddie Yujin clip as well. Correction, it’s ‘Mommy Yujin’.” Bob adds on, hands still on the steering wheel.”
“Fuck you both,” I shoot back, laughing. “Dimplez ship is the best ship. I’m not horny like you two. Go back to drooling over your Gaeul ODD performance video, Bob.”
Bob smirks. “Hard to deny. Gaeul killed it. Even you said ODD was your favorite song from the album too, didn’t you?”
The banter flows easily as we drive toward Korea Town, palm trees swaying outside the windows. The cool breeze through the cracked window calms my nerves. Everything feels peaceful.
Until we turn the corner into the K-Town block.
The sidewalk is packed. We try our best to squeeze our car into a miniscule streetside parking spot before all three of us walked out of the car. What us three saw shocked us. In front of the Korean restaurant we normally hit up, there’re groups of people waiting outside. Many of them have cameras of different models; some pace back and forth impatiently, others stand in tight clusters, whispering and constantly checking their phones. The atmosphere feels… off.
“Yo, since when did it become another TikTok influencer’s place? I’ve never seen so many people waiting here.” My brain is full of question marks.
“I don’t know, maybe it just got viral or something,” Bob mutters.
“Fuck it… plan changed! They said two hours, we ain’t waiting that long…even though they got good banchan. Let’s just get some fried chicken instead.” Henry comes back from talking to the shop owner, face full of disappointment.
I sigh, starting to trudge back to our parked car across the street. I take a glance at the groups of people waiting outside of the restaurant. Someone has a stabilizer rig that looks like it costs more than the meal itself. All that for a 30-second Instagram Reels? When we walk past a young man in sunglasses, I overhear him on the phone, “They’re this popular even in L.A.??? No way I can make it… I drove two hours down the south!”
Who are “they”? Those TikTok vloggers and Instagram “GRWM” girls? And why are they popular in Los Angeles in the first place? I can’t recognize any of them. I think to myself. You see, this is one of the things I dislike about social media culture. One big name says a restaurant is good, everyone starts to hop on the bandwagon. Man, I really miss the old times when us three just drive by and have a quick, authentic Korean style lunch. They got really nice banchan and kimchi jjigae. They remind me of how we just regularly came to this place to hang out before we went to college in different cities last year.
Henry and Bob seemed to be upset as well, but there is always a Plan B, and Plan B today is to get some Korean style fried chicken at the next block – no lines at all. We decide to order to go as there is a park right near the restaurant area, and it’ll be a huge waste of the California sunshine so why not turn it into a picnic and eat outdoors?
It takes about ten minutes before the cashier waves at us for collection, so I walk back into the store from outside. “Thank you so much! By the way, do you know when that Korean restaurant down the street got popular? They said the line is two hours today!” I casually chat with the guy.
“Hm? I don’t know, maybe just a group of tourists today? I never knew you have to wait that long?” He seems confused as well while handing me our order.
“Well, then it’s God’s message for us to try some chicken today.” I give him a genuine smile before walking out towards Henry and Bob.
We settle our stuff on a wooden bench in the park; a few geese idle on the grass like they’re the owner of this place. Henry unties the plastic bag and takes out the paper box with our fried chicken — garlic gochujang as Henry likes it. Well, as a Korean himself, maybe he has the final say in deciding the order.
We immediately sink to the bench, pick up a few pairs of plastic gloves to start our feast.
“What do you think, Mr. Korean? Is it authentic?” Bob mutters with his mouth already stuffed with a big chunk of chicken, dipped in that sweet, spicy sauce.
“Mhm… it is decent, the gochujang tastes a bit like my mom’s cooking.” Henry responds after taking a bite.
“Your mom? Or your mommy Rei?” I of course cannot let go the chance to tease him; I smirk as Henry’s ear turns red once that name hits him.
“Damn… Surely I’d be more than happy to try out her cooking, just…no chance!”
“You’d like to taste HER, not her cooking.” Bob adds on with a devilish grin.
“You two horny asses, and you?” Henry points at me, pretending to be angry despite his smile that almost reaches his ears. “Bob, did you know that this man”, he turns to Bob, “Wrote a whole-ass 15 thousand words fanfiction about his ‘Mommy Yujin’? I bet your keyboard is already auto-correcting “Monday” into “Mommy” huh?”
It is now my turn to turn my face into a tomato. Well, I could argue it is because of the spice from the chicken, but all of us know that it is a blatant lie.
“It... it was just one fic! It was for... for the readers! And I used it as a metaphor for her ... leadership!” I defend myself, weakly.
“All caps. You were the one typing ‘she’s so damn hot, I even wanna call her mommy’ in Discord! Stop pretending you’re not down bad for this girl.” Henry adds on, I know I lost at the moment he mentioned the Discord group chat - where we had and still have a lot of ‘honest confessions’. Well, you can’t blame me for that! Unlike Henry and Bob, I don’t have a girlfriend. So, it is quite natural that I need some ways to ease my loneliness, aren’t I?
Although it being the truth, tactical decline is the core of the banter. “I’m not down bad at all! Y’all know me well, my number one bias is Liz. I love her, purely, respectfully.” I claim.
“This guy is playing innocent now, too fake,” Bob sighs exaggeratedly while grabbing another piece of chicken from the box. “Liz fic when?”
“Never!” I almost shout immediately, “You know me, I... I just can’t even think about those scenes with her. I’d imagine wrapping her with a blanket and kissing her forehead instead.”
“Okay okay, whatever you say, pure hearted fanboy.” Bob exclaims.
“Hey guys, you know IVE is in L.A. now, right?” Henry suddenly asks.
“Oh yeah, I saw Yujin’s Story earlier today.” Bob responds casually.
“Wait, what the fuck? For real?” I almost choke on the chicken as I heard it, “but well, we ain’t gotta see them, there’re like ten million people around the metropolitan area.”
“Plus, they’re probably eating somewhere high-end, like a VIP room and tinted glass minivan type of stuff. They ain’t coming to Koreatown for food they can eat every day.” Henry says.
“If we ACTUALLY meet them, who’s gonna lose it all first?” I casually let the question slip: it’s gonna be another round of banter, but that’s why we love yapping with each other. “Henry is probably going to start reciting all the Rei verses out loud until he gets tackled by the bodyguards” Bob laughs blatantly.
“And you are going to lose your dignity, your sanity and all of your savings the moment you see Liz.” Henry fires at me.
“Hard to say I won’t, but losing my savings is foreseeable. You know the ticket sale for their concert opens next week right? Don’t blame me for not reminding you.”
“Wait really? I don’t even know they announced the date already?” Henry seems confused and excited at the same time.
“You’re a fake fan bro. Let me also set a reminder to get tickets,” Bob reaches his phone on the bench next to him, “Oh fuck! I forgot to wipe my hand! The sauce got all over my screen!” Bob screams while wiping the gochujang on his phone with a napkin.
“Hahahaha, you deserve it.” Henry laughs out loud.
-
Two whole boxes of chicken disappear amidst our chatter; I finish the last piece and chugged the rest of my Celsius before padding my full tummy.
“Hmm... what y’all doing later? Do I get a drive home?” I ask them.
“Oh! We’re actually gonna head for my girlfriend’s place for a party. You said you're not interested in those before, right?” Bob lifts his gaze from his phone.
“Nah, count me out. For God's sake, please wear a condom, and don’t get her pregnant.” I shake my head.
“Not that type of party, don’t you worry.” He stands up, “well... it had been nice seeing you man, it had really been a while.” Following him is Henry, “Yeah, time flies! Anyway, y’all hit me up on the date when tickets go on sale! We should hop on a voice chat, definitely need a plan to secure our chances.”
“Will do! See you all around, I’ll just chill here for a bit.” I stand up too, waving at them as they walk towards the car.
Seeing them leave, I sit back down on the bench, plugging in my headphones to enjoy this moment of peace. I select my IVE playlist, watching the geese waddling around the grass. A few joggers or dog-walkers occasionally run by, and I give a polite nod to each of them. It’s a really rare chance I can just sit here under the SoCal sunshine and not have to worry about anything. What an afternoon!
Soon, I feel my eyelids getting so heavy. The last thing in my mind is Liz’s “Unreal” playing and me thinking, “it is not a bad idea to have a nap.”
The world turns black.
-
I don’t know how long had passed, maybe an hour? Damn, it was a really nice nap. I open my eyes, almost blinded by the sunlight. The park is strangely empty. The joggers had moved on, and the geese were silent near the pond. There is this faint metallic taste in my mouth and my lips are dry as hell. I feel strangely warm and relaxed: it had been so long since I’ve had the luxury to take a long nap, I’d as well just continue sleeping.
Wait.
Wait a second.
I feel like I almost fall unconscious again. But I see a group of people exiting the backdoor of that Korean restaurant we skipped earlier. Something feels…off. Why are they wearing such long coats? And with masks? And with sunglasses? I must be hallucinating right now. Do TikTok influencers have sasaengs these days? Look at those two bulk men in suits, I swear to God they’re bodyguards. Wait a second, is that....
She walks with her arms crossed, her chin tilting at that precise, elegant angle that suggests she wasn't just walking to a car; she is reclaiming a runway. It is a gait I’d analyzed in a hundred airport arrival clips—the "Wony-walk."
She is physically taller than the men in suits, her silhouette cutting through the hazy LA heat with a sharp, expensive precision. There is a glimmer of a silver heart-shaped pendant swinging against her chest, catching the sun like a strobe light.
It’s her. My brain didn't even need the confirmation of a face. That poised, that "above-the-rest-of-the-world" energy—it’s Jang Wonyoung. And if the "Center of the Center" is here, then the rest of my universe is standing right behind her.
My universer takes off her mask for some air, at that moment, my heart stops beating. Her gaze is shining so bright and clear like an energized puppy despite her minimal makeup, I’ll never mistake her for anyone else.
The universe just put my angels 20 feet away from me, at a random park in Los Angeles. I rub my eyes, trying to open them wider. Confusion floods my brain like how my adrenaline does.
They shouldn’t be here... they should be in those high-end restaurants that have a reservation one year from now. Maybe some VIP lounges in Beverly Hills. Or maybe visiting some random venues of local sports teams as guests. The Los Angeles Clippers can be a nice idea. Any way they’d like, but definitely not in the back alley with dozens of paper boxes behind a Korean restaurant in downtown L.A. where even people like myself call it an affordable place.
I put my wrist between my lips and bite down hard. This is the standard protocol I have for myself to test if I’m dreaming. I hope the pain will be as brutal as possible, so I know I am not hallucinating when I say “I just saw IVE near a parking lot in downtown L.A.”
Instead, I feel the adrenaline spike and this very familiar feeling of fight and flight. This feeling that I’ve experienced countless times sitting in an exam, panicking and not knowing what to do. It almost cost me though. They’re walking closer and closer towards that parking lot nearby, where three black minivans parked parallel. My window is closing.
If I sit, I am a coward. I’m singlehandedly killing any potential fairytale stories before they even have a chance to start.
If I run, I’m a creep. And those big men in black suits are going to tackle my skinny body within a second without any effort. I’d be pushed away and it’d be the most embarrassing way possible to give my self-introduction to IVE.
I stand up and start walking.
One, two, three, four, five, six.
Gaeul, Yujin, Rei, Wonyoung, Liz, Leeseo.
They’re right there. They’re so close, yet so far away. My heart is hammering so frantically that I forget my chest exists. My cheeks and ears burn albeit someone just set a fire on my face. Well, they absolutely did.
I keep walking, picking up my pace just slightly so I don’t look suspicious.
Closer, I can smell the lingering floral scent of their perfume. Not just expensive, but overwhelmingly distant.
Even closer, and it is at the point where some actions are necessary, otherwise I’d walk right into them. A manager-like man in a polo shirt, with a transparent earpiece puts himself in the middle of the walkway. Right between me and my dreams come true.
“Excuse me, no stopping. Private time here, please keep walking.” He says, with a slight accent and a professional, emotionless tone. His palm sticks out facing me like a “Stop” sign.
I freeze, and the hesitation was nearly lethal. He quickly turns and nods at the man in suits, mouthing something in another language.
The members keep walking, don’t even bother looking in my direction like similar shenanigans had happened countless number of times. Well, I can understand that certainly. But I’m not a stalker! I... I need to prove it to him before I get swept away!
“No, please!!!” I raise my pitch just a little bit, hoping I won’t scare away the girls. “I... I am a DIVE! I’m NOT a sasaeng! I... I live right here... and I was just walking by! I... I have this...” My expression stutters thanks to the extreme nervousness.
But I need to persuade him. I can see his tense facial expression just eases by a bit. And I have a lifeline.
I reach for my pocket with my violently trembling hand. The thing I’m looking for is on my phone. To be exact, it is between my phone and my phone case.
Clack…
The crisp sound breaks the pressurized silence as my plastic phone case drops on the concrete walkway. I don’t bother to pick it up at all. Instead, I carefully show the managers these two photo cards I’ve been putting in my phone case throughout the journey of being a DIVE.
First one, ATTITUDE era Liz. Blonde hair, lethal dimple on her left cheek. That warm smile itself is enough for me to squirm in my blanket burrito with a big smile every time I see it.
The second one, BADDIE era Yujin. The sharp outfit. The charisma that made me start writing fics on Tumblr. The origin of how Henry roasted me for all that “Mommy Yujin” nonsense. The daring stare like she can see through all my filthy fantasies at night.
“I... I have this... PLEASE! I’m an actual fan.” I hold the two photo cards like some sort of passing badge, hoping to move the manager.
But he doesn’t say anything, and he doesn’t move at all. I start to get anxious as half of the group is already at the parking lot.
“잠깐만요, (Wait a second) Manager-nim~” Two girls at the back slow down, before stopping and looking at my direction. I can immediately tell the one who just spoke was Yujin. She approaches the manager and whispers in his ear. “Aigoo, he’s just a fan! Look at him, he’s literally shaking right now. How can he do any harm?” Yujin giggles while peeking at the photo cards.
Well, don’t ask me why she just spoke English to her manager. It was NOT! It was Korean for sure. But a huge thank you to Duolingo, I was able to understand the most important conversation I’ve ever overheard in my life! (Author’s note, this message is not approved or endorsed by Duolingo).
They then kept whispering something that’s beyond one year worth of Duolingo learning, while I was left there, teeth clenching nervously.
I try to distract my attention. Hmm... who is that girl next to Yujin? It’s either Liz or Rei based on the relative height with Yujin. I hope she’s Liz... but I’d be such a fake Liz fanboy because I can’t even tell if that’s her.
“Listen, do you want a signature?” The manager finally turns back at me, after sighing like “are we really doing this”?
I don’t care. My soul is almost escaping my body. “YESSSSS! Please! Please!”
He waves at me as a signal to keep walking, so I do. But he’s still serving like a shield, completely blocking me with the girls. “Look, you are alone. No cameras. It is good. But if we stay here? People see and they gather. We don’t want that.” I immediately understood. The group of the people I saw outside of the restaurants? There were no TikTok influencers. There were no Instagram model girls. They were all here, camping IVE…
He clears his throat while I nod obediently. “I know you’re going to tell you friends, and everyone is coming here in minutes. So, walk with us, get in the car, get your signature. We drop you off somewhere mid-way and we both are happy, understand?”
“Y.... yes sir! Thank you so much!” I bow immediately, just for him to nod and he knowingly falls behind. Allowing me to walk parallel to the two girls.
“Hi~” Yujin smiles politely, fan service mode activated.
“Hi~ how are you?” The girl next to her takes off her mask.
It is a miracle that I didn’t just faint right at the moment. It is Liz. Kim Jiwon. Elizabeth Helga Muller, her German name, as you wish.
“OH MY GODDDD! Liz!” I scream out loud, only for the manager to give me a deadly stare like “keep it low or get out of here.” I instantly cover my mouth and apologize. “Sorry, sorry. I got too excited... I’m really a Liz fan.”
“Oh, really? Thank you.” Liz smiles, a bit timid.
“Can I see them?” Yujin asks, pointing at my photo cards.
“Definitely!” I hand them to her, while trying not to have any physical contact with her - I don’t wanna mess up this once in a lifetime opportunity by getting falsely assumed as a creep!
“Me and Jiwon, hehe” Yujin giggles proudly. “You are lucky today, no?”
“More than lucky, Yujin-ssi.”
“Aw~ what a polite fan boy, you can call me Yujin. What’s your name?” She seems a bit amused, which is definitely a green light for me.
“Ah! You can call me dimp...I mean, Mercy. m-e-r-c-y.” I almost slipped something that’s supposed to be top secret. Fortunately, I reacted quickly.
My heart has no sign to slow down, so I start to take some deep breaths. They notice. “Are you nervous?” Liz asks. “You don’t have to be so tense, fanboy. We don’t bite!” Yujin adds on.
Well, but to be fair, how can I NOT feel nervous at this moment? Walking next to me are literally the two women in the world that bring me the most joy. One with her dimple and a voice that’s clearer than my future. The other one with her...... charisma and....... leader spirit. I’m nowhere close to being ready!
“I....I try.” I manage to squeeze out two broken words.
“Hey buddy.” The manager taps my shoulder from behind as we’re close to the only minivan that’s still parking in the lot - well it seems like the rest of the members are already gone.
“Yes sir, what shall I do?” I try to be as cooperative as possible.
“This is the plan, ok?” He stops at the trunk, finds a sharpie from one of the bags. “You seem like a good person.”
“Yes sir, I am a good person. What do I need to do?” Man! Just give me the rest of the script! At this point I’m willing to do anything for their signature.
“You see, THAT group of people with cameras,” he stops, “We don’t want them to know where we are. So here is what’s going to happen. You unlock your phone, give it to me, so you don’t take photos or record. Everything is private, I will check your photo booth whether you stalked or filmed us.”
“My... my phone? Absolutely sir, I’ll give you my phone.” Yes! He’s taking my phone! I’ve never felt so happy before when someone takes my phone. Now he has my personal items, he can’t kick me away!
He quickly peeks at my photo booth to make sure I’m indeed not a sasaeng. He starts talking again, “Good. You give your photo cards to Yujinnie and Jiwon, they sign. Get in the car, we will drop you off somewhere mid-way so you don’t spoil our location.”
“Wait, what??? I’m getting in the car?” My brain refuses to believe the offer I just received - car ride with IVE. “Me? Really?”
“Yeah, you~” Liz walks past me, before getting on the back row of the minivan.
“Or you can take your phone back and walk away.” The manager says.
“No sir, you keep my phone.” I hop on the passenger’s seat at the front, try to be very gentle and give Yujin and Liz their personal space. I’m carpooling with IVE! That alone is already a miracle.
The door slides shut. The cool air conditioning and the smell of the leather seats separate me from the heat outside.
-
For the first minute, I sit with a tense posture: back straight, hands on my laps, palm sweating. I try to peek in the rearview mirror; Liz is on her phone with her hat back on and Yujin sits at the very back row next to the manager and I have no idea what they are whispering.
“Are you holding your breath? You look like a statue there.” Liz giggles.
“If I were you, I’d cherish the time and say something. Like, how did you end up becoming a fan?” Yujin adds on. I turn my head to my eight o’clock, and try my hardest not to look like I’m about to have a heart attack when I see Liz’s gentle smile.
“Liz-ssi, you.... you’ve always been my number one, do you know that? Every time when I’m stressed over those abstract proofs in Real Analysis, I’d watch your fancams over and over... and I’ll feel motivated again. Don’t get me wrong, I admire your vocals so much. It is cleaner than a glass of water...”
“Aw~ thank you so much for your kind words! Real Analysis, it sounds difficult... is it like a lie detector? To see if something is real or fake? Hehe” Liz giggles timidly and gently, her gaze flickers with sincerity.
“Eh... kind of, we analyze real stuff. It is very abstract, but you inspired me a lot when I had hard times nonetheless! I... I don’t know what else to say, Liz-ssi, it is my biggest honor in my life to get to tell you how much I liked you!”
I did it. I did the unthinkable in many fanboys’ sweet little dreams! I got to tell my favorite idol how much I appreciate her without being filthy! I showed her how dedicated and respectful a DIVE I am. I certainly just won the world.
“Ahem, Jiwon-ah, looks like you got a big fan here. How about me?” Yujin suddenly asks from the back, tone with a hint of mischief.
“I...I really like you too! Yujin-ssi.” For some reasons only I should know, I was NOT ready to answer this question so I stuttered.
“Really? You hesitated! Are you a fake fan?” Yujin keeps pushing, sounds a tiny bit frustrated but still playful.
“Leave this poor little boy alone, unnie.” Liz’s smile widens instead, her facial expression screaming “Not again” like she had seen Yujin battle for a bias title thousands of times.
“Then tell me what parts of me you like, fanboy?” Yujin reaches to the middle row, putting her face right next to Liz’s, her puppy eyes open wide and wink with anticipation.
“I... Ah...I... like your... hmm... power! And... leader spirit! Also, your... your confidence!” I defend myself, trying to convince Yujin that I’m not a fake fan but maybe only they can see how red I got when Yujin stared at me innocently like that.
“Aw, how cute! Leader Spirit and confidence.” Yujin intentionally emphasizes the two nouns like it is the password to something secret.
My heart skips a bit... please don’t be.
-
After a few more rounds of polite exchange of words, the manager (now driver) pulls over somewhere on the street. It looks familiar despite the tinted window.
“Yujinnie, Jiwonnie, do you want to get some In-N-Out? It is very famous in America!” The manager unbuckles his seatbelt, turning back towards Liz and Yujin and doesn’t even bother to look at me. More than reasonable, I don’t blame him. To him, I was just a piece of luggage they hadn't unloaded yet.
“Really! Let’s go!” Liz’s eyes flicker with sparkles.
“Not for me~ I’ve tried it many times when we toured in America last year!” Yujin says.
“Ok, then I’ll go with Jiwon. Yujinnie, you wanna wait in the car? We’ll be back soon.” The manager opens the door before Liz joins after him.
My hand automatically reaches for the seatbelt. My heart leaped. This was it. A walk with Liz. Just us (and the manager) under the California sun. "I’ll help! I can carry the—"
"No." The manager and Yujin almost say it at the exact same moment, the one single word cuts through my excitement like a cold snap. "If you truly care about her, you don't want to see 'Liz accompanied by mystery young man in L.A.' on Dispatch tomorrow morning, right?"
I froze, my hand halfway to the door handle. The implication hit me like a physical weight. Me? A mystery man? With Liz? My face didn't just turn red; it felt like it was radiating heat. The thought of being linked to her—even in a scandal—sent a shiver through my chest.
"Stop," the Manager sighed, glancing at me in the rearview mirror with a look of pure pity. "I know exactly what you’re thinking. No. Don't even go there."
I slumped back into the passenger seat, my ears ringing. "Right. Sorry. Safety first." For a twisted moment, I felt like I was almost a protagonist. Almost a “scandal”. Almost become the main character of a fanfic. Almost someone important enough to be "accompanied by Liz. The heat in my cheeks wasn't just embarrassment—it was a soaring pride. I felt like I was floating two inches off the leather, drifting in a golden California daydream where I actually mattered to her.
But a dream is always just a dream. You’ll wake up nonetheless.
“Good Boy~.” Yujin casually slips, her tone full of teasing.
I felt like I was being handed a death sentence wrapped in a compliment.
Some scenes that are not supposed to show up here start to automatically play inside my head. Fuck. I fucking forgot… My phone. Please… Please don’t tell me she found them.
Yujin had my phone – it got handed to her naturally as the manager needs to drive. Maybe he told her to check my photo booth if I stalked them from the airport. But I have all of my Tumblr drafts as screenshots in my Pictures… All of those… stories.
Liz looked back at me, her expression softening into that sweet, concerned look. "Are you okay? You look like you're about to faint. Car sickness?”
"I’m 100% fine!" I squeaked, my pitch an octave too high. I gave her a thumbs-up that felt incredibly unconvincing. "Just... thirsty! Take your time!"
Beside me, I heard a muffled, frantic sound. I turned to see Yujin burying her face into a velvet travel cushion, her shoulders shaking with silent, hysterical laughter. She knew. She knew exactly how "screwed" I was, and she was enjoying every second of my internal collapse.
"Let’s go, Jiwon-ah," the Manager said, putting on his sunglasses.
"Bye-bye!” Liz waved, her silhouette flashing one last time before she stepped out into the bright Los Angeles afternoon with her mask back on.
The door hissed shut. THUD.
The lock clicked.
-
“So,” Yujin breaks the deadly silence. “Apparently, mister pure hearted fanboy… You write stories about me, very… analytically, hm?” It is over.
“I… I can explain it…” I want to turn around and defend myself, but I physically can’t.
“Can you?” I hear Yujin’s voice coming from the middle row, she had crawled from the back like a predator corning her prey. “You handed the unlocked phone to us yourself, and I was scrolling through those story drafts all the way.” Yujin’s words sound mysterious; danger is hiding beneath that seemingly emotionless tone.
“I… it… it was just fiction… I didn’t mean to… Sorry.” I give up, knowing I just dug my own grave. Maybe I get kicked out of the minivan after my confession, and Yujin’s gonna tell Liz all of those. I’m screwed… my character, everything… Liz is going to despise me and she’ll feel so disgusted!
“You told Jiwon she was your number one because she’s so pure… and so clear. You study mathematics and you love pure things, don’t you? You told her how a respectful and dedicated DIVE you are because of her, hm?” Yujin pads the seat where Liz was just sitting, “Come here, don’t make me say it twice.”
I hesitate for a fraction of a second, before squeezing my body through that tiny space. Maybe there is still hope, but I know for a fact that I am completely at Yujin’s mercy. The seat is still warm, Liz’s lingering vanilla-scented perfume is so healing – yet what’s next to me is like a blackhole, full of force and unknown.
I meet Yujin’s gaze. Her eyes are dark, unreadable, and terrifyingly vivid.
“It seems like you don’t write about her spirit, do you?” Yujin murmurs, finger hovering on her bottom lip. “Tell me, if Liz is your angel… Am I your… downfall?” she licks her lip now, her alluring eyes never leaving mine. “Or are you finally gonna admit that I AM the truth that you’ve been secretly hiding from her?”
My heart is not slowing down. I come to the realization that maybe I am still screwed, but it’d be the best bad news I can hear. “You’re not answering my question. And I’m getting impatient. If I am impatient, I do really messy stuff. You don’t want to get on the blacklist of Starship Entertainment, do you?” Yujin has no sign of stopping her fire, knowing she has the upper hand from the start.
“I… I’m sorry Yujin… Please don’t! I swear it is just some nonsense, I… I can delete them if you want. Just please don’t say it out loud! I’d do anything.” My cheeks must be radiating heat at this moment and I’m also already used to the frantic pounding of my chest.
Maybe it was my sincerity, it must be. My response is like it just triggered some keywords.
“You said, anything?” Yujin smirks with mischief.
“As long as I don’t get blacklisted…” I stutter.
“Get to the back row, now.”
“If… if you say so.” My nostril already misses Liz’s pure scent at the moment I lose contact with her seat. I carefully take a step over their designer purses on the pass-through before placing my tense body onto the back row as Yujin instructed.
Yujin follows, taking the right side of the three connected seats. She sits on her knees, looking way comfortable despite being in such a packed space. “So... I’m going to give you some chances to prove to me that you’re not a filthy, degenerate fan.” Yujin says.
“I’m definitely not! Do you want me to show you my Spotify Top 0.1% Fan Badge?” I reach out for my phone that’s still on her lap.
“Aw, cute little attempt. But I'll keep it for now.” She holds my phone hostage, slipping it under her weight.
“T... Then how do you want me to prove it? I can recite the lyrics for all of IVE’s title tracks?” I stutter.
“Come on, you write those little stories about me, but still pretending to be innocent. Huh?” Yujin’s playful grin suddenly disappears, what comes after is something rawer that I was never ready for.
She slips her finger into my shirt from the bottom, scratching my chest in the most agonizing way possible. As much as I don’t want to admit it, the bulge down below starts to get visibly larger.
“See? You’re being very honest with your body.” She’s barely audible, basically just blowing air into my already itching ears.
“Yujin-ssi, please don’t! We... we will be in trouble! And I’ll become filthy and degenerate if you keep doing this to me!” I accidentally confess in desperation.
“Hmm... it’s better if we have an open conversation instead, maybe?”
“Y...yes! Conversation! We’re not supposed to be doing this at all!”
“Ok.” Yujin says, but her hands say otherwise. She quickly yanks my shirt off in one go, my chest suddenly exposes to the air. Next, she takes off her black jacket and her white T-shirt as well, leaving only a plain, white bra.
“What... what the fuck?!” I shout in awe while trying to cover my eyes with my palms. I can’t look at that... I'm not supposed to!”
“That’s why I call it an open conversation. If you don’t like it, I can also take it off. Hm?” Yujin hovers her finger onto the strap of her bra, teeth biting down her lips. God. Pure seduction. Why is she doing this?
“Why are you doing this?” So I ask.
“Aw, I want to test you. Let’s play a game.” Yujin smiles while putting her palms on each of my shoulders.
She then pulls me dangerously close, forcing me to look directly into her predatory gaze.
“Since you do analysis all the time, tell me, who is your favorite member in IVE?” Yujin asks, hands cupping my face. My breath immediately hitches.
“I... it’s Liz, you already knew that.”
“Nope baby... wrong name.” She crashes her red lips against mine. My whole world collapses. Yujin captures my hesitation, kissing me even more aggressively. Her tongue invades through my trembling lips, forcing mine to swirl with hers. I take it all, secretly enjoying this gut-wrenching guilty pleasure. I just got a kiss from the character in my wildest fantasies - but it feels like a huge betrayal to Liz at the same time.
“First chance is wasted. You didn’t give me the answer I wanted to hear. We can keep playing this game until your pure little angel is back. Guess what she’ll have to say when she sees us like this? Sweaty and half naked in the back seat?” Yujin is seemingly enjoying everything, her tone bright and joyful.
“Now tell me again, if your favorite is Liz… then why are you this hard, hm?” Yujin grins, fingers brushing my itching length through the fabric of my pants.
“Be…because I am a straight man!” I give out my final attempt to brush it off, but seeing Yujin’s facial expression remains unchanged, I know I’ll just let her do her thing. “Plus… you’re very hot.” I add on.
“It is hot here indeed, fuck, I’m sweating.” Yujin hums, realizing the AC is little use under the SoCal sun in the afternoon. “We gotta do this quick, before both of us pass out from the heat.” I take a quick glance at her half naked body, sweats already dripping down her chin – her scent mixes with the faint perfume, more arousing than ever.
“We are gonna do what?” My logic fails; it can’t be? I am never properly prepared for a scene like this.
“Take off your pants, right now…You’re lucky today. I’m going to show you why I AM the leader of IVE, and you’d start regretting why you didn’t choose me as your bias from day one.” Yujin mumbles, while unzipping her short culottes. I take a big gulp uncontrollably when she reveals her full curve, a few drops of sweats clinging onto her frame and her plain cotton pantie is already damped. Maybe from the heat, maybe from the arousal… or probably both.
My hands freeze on my belt, not knowing what to do after witnessing Yujin just stripped before me despite my throbbing length already screaming for release. “Fuck, stop pretending for be so innocent.” Yujin gets a bit impatient; her hands automatically locate my belt. And click, she unbuckles it before yanking both of my jeans and boxers all the way down to my ankle.
My itching length springs free, a wet sound covers the quiet humming of the AC. A pathetic moan escapes from my throat as Yujin wraps her hand around my base. “Look at this, already so hard for me~.” She gives it a long, slow stroke before climbing up onto my lap. Her hard is warm, contrasting with the cool leather of her boots squeezing my leg.
“Fuck… Yujin, are you sure we’re doing this? I.... My favorite member in IVE is An Yujin! Are you happy now?” The final bit of sanity left in my brain knows it is wrong, we’re both fucked if Liz and the manager are back from In-N-Out and see their respected leader of group is stroking a filthy fanboy in the back of their car. Is this even real? Is this even possible? I am just a helpless fanboy that fell into Yujin’s charm and couldn’t escape. But why? Why would she even talk to me, let aside… having sex with me? It must be a dream, but her deadly scent is so real.
“Too fake.” She clicked her tongue. One smooth motion and her fingers were at my belt. “You still call me by my stage name like a polite little fanboy. I want the real one. The one you type at 3 a.m. when you think no one’s watching.”
Yujin stares directly into the deepest of my soul, she unhooks her bra with her free hand. The strap slides down her shoulders and the fabric slowly falls off her gorgeous body. Her full breasts bounces up and down right inches away from eyes, she turns to throw the bra away.
“Now your Mommy Yujin is right here, do what you need, helpless little fanboy.” She quotes directly from the deepest secrets that I’ve been hiding, and that’s exactly enough to destroy any defense I have left. My hips jerked involuntarily and I groaned, the sound way too loud for a tinted minivan in broad daylight.
“Fuck…” The thrill of getting caught at any time mixes with her sweated scent are like a drug that just gets me addicted. I follow my instinct, carefully take in one of her juicy tits in between my lips and suck lightly. She tastes alluring. Her perfume alone is enough to drive me crazy, not to mention the faint salty, sweaty taste just mercilessly assaults my nostril.
“Mmph….” I try to say something, but my mouth is too busy savoring Yujin’s perfect tit. I never in my life had thought this would happen, yet the sensory had defeated the sanity. I manage to not faint from the overwhelming lust despite Yujin hasn’t started anything. I take a look at her soft hand grabbing my length, then keep my eyes shut again. Well, if I mute one of my senses, the rest becomes more sensitive, no?
“Look at me.” Yujin commands, she reaches close, hair brushing my cheeks. I oblige; she then opens her mouth and lets a string of her saliva fall onto the tip of my shaft. My body bucks as the slick, cool liquid meets with my overheated skin. Her eyes never leave mine. Deadly. Alluring. I can’t contain my desire anymore.
I reach out for her face, pulling Yujin close before kissing her juicy lips. This time it is much more intense compared to the first. My movements are desperate and hungry, and I can tell she likes it. She responds with equally thirsty kisses, the wet, obscene sound echoing in the warm minivan.
“Good… You finally stopped your little lie. I almost believed you’re such a dedicated and pure DIVE until I saw those filthy stories.” Yujin lets go of my lips, “It’d be your loss if you never tried me…bet you’ll feel different after this. Liz can still be your sweet angel with a crystal-clear voice, but you won’t ever forget who makes you this desperate.”
“Fuck…please, Yujin… Please don’t bring Liz into this.” Yujin’s words bring back that gut-wrenching guilt. For a second, I just hate myself so much for not having the self-discipline to resist Yujin’s force and it’s a pure betrayal to Liz.
“Uh-oh, look at who is triggered. But weren’t YOU the one who wrote ‘I am mommy An Yujin’s Puppy, please use me as you like’? Bet you got hard just by thinking about it when you hid under your blanket writing it, huh?” She amplifies the filth, quoting directly from one of my drafts. My head is a mess made of embarrassment and the painful pleasure from Yujin’s hand that never stopped stroking me.
“Am I meeting your expectations, or do you want more of me? The energy? How about the leader's spirit? Hmm?”
“What even is the point of all this?”
“To prove you wrong, fanboy. It makes me sick listening to all those beautiful lies but I know for a fact your body thinks otherwise. Just admit it, or we can stop here and wait ‘til your Jiwonnie comes back and sees it herself. Hmm? Last chance~”
“You really care about it that badly?” I hover my hands onto Yujin’s sweat-covered waist in awe. “Fine, if you really want to see me being filthy… I’d let you.” I know it is time to let go of my rational thoughts and just follow my instinct. And my instinct tells me to grab her bouncy ass and feel it with my palms. “I’ll make sure this pair of sexy legs keep shaking for hours.” The final doubt inside of my head is gone as I feel the smooth texture of her body on my hands. I’ve never felt anything like this before. The velvety smooth skin, the warmth, the sweat. They just feel so vivid… and so Yujin.
“Exactly the energy I want... Now touch me… show me how much you’ve been starving for this body.” Yujin’s tone is still commanding, but with a hint of arousal.
“Fuck… do you know how crazy you drove me with this body, Yujin?” I confess, mumbling because I am busy eating her tit at the same time. I draw little circles around her nipple, just to feel how heavenly she tastes with that faint scent of her body wash and the lingering sweat. Meanwhile, I don’t forget the work down below her butt. My hands start roaming free, staring from her waist, lingering on her cheeks before groping her insanely sexy thighs.
Yujin lets out several hums each time the tip of my tongue meets her nipple, her face is blushed from the increasing temperature and her own arousal. I lick and suck her other tit with equal desire – the desire that I’ve been hiding from everyone, that had made my head spin in countless midnight hours.
She doesn’t respond to my question. The minivan’s tinted windows trapped the heat like a greenhouse. Sweat beaded along Yujin’s collarbones, catching the faint dashboard glow and sliding down the valley between her breasts in slow, glistening trails.
Suddenly, a loud, door slamming sound from a nearby car drags me out of this dreamy picture. My heart sinks. We’re in the public; Liz and the managers are still coming back at any time. Yujin catches the sudden halt of my motion and I am certain that she can see through what I’m thinking. She dismounts from me, crawling to the driver’s seat only in her damped pantie.
Beep.
She locks the door from inside before turning off the engine. The AC is still on but it feels like nothing under the California sun. Yujin crawls towards me sitting there in the back row, slowly, like she is catwalking on a run way. Her hips roll and sways, each step makes her seducing frame even more alluring.
After like a year has passed, she finally gets back on my lap. Yujin grabs my leaking length once again and gives it a lazy stroke. Her fingers drawing lazy, tormenting circles on my sensitive head. “Mmph… fuck…” I groan, taking a deep breath so I don’t just come before even getting a chance to feel her. To really feel her.
She hooks her thumbs into the waistband of her pantie and peels it down her thighs in one fluid motion, kicking it aside. The scent of her—sweet, musky, unmistakably aroused—hits me like a drug. Her pussy was glistening, puffy and pink, lips already parted and shiny. She wrapped her hand around my cock again, guiding the head right against her entrance.
“W… wait!” I stutter.
“Aw… Don’t tell me you’re gonna chicken out at the last second.” Yujin purrs, her gaze is now nothing but pure desire. I don’t dare to keep staring at her anymore before I completely lose it and start screaming “Mommy Yujin”.
“We… we don’t have a condom!” I almost yell. Being caught walking with Liz? It is nothing compared to making Yujin a mother. There is zero probability that I can survive the fans if it ever happens, so, safety first.
“Screw it, we’re constantly on the pill anyways. Is that it? Can I properly fuck you now?”
“Y…”
I don’t get to finish. Yujin doesn’t wait for the rest. She drops the rest of the way in one smooth, greedy motion, taking every inch until her ass flushes against my thighs. A broken moan escapes her throat, and the sound goes straight into the deepest of my soul.
“Fuck, you’re bigger than I thought,” she breathes, already rolling her hips in tiny circles, grinding her clit against my pelvis. “Feels good, doesn’t it? Better than jerking off to my fancams in your dorm room?”
I cannot answer. My hands autopilots to her waist, gripping hard enough to leave marks. She starts riding me relentlessly then—slow at first, savoring it, then faster, the wet slap of skin on skin filling the van. The leather seat creaks under us. The AC still humming uselessly against the heat we were generating. Yujin bounces on my laps in near frantic motion. Each time she releases me from her slickness, the next second I’m being greeted by her warmth. Yujin is incredibly tight, and it makes me speechless. I’m nowhere close to being in charge as I helplessly watch how much Yujin owns the moment. Her bangs are damp from the sweat; her elegant fingers push the wet strand of hair behind her ears.
I dive back into her flawless body and continue to worship her tits before I lose myself in her alluring gaze. Her nipples are swollen, I plant careful kisses here and there, leaving wet marks on her frame. Her frame that owned my wildest dreams at those lonely nights.
“Mmph...” Yujin moans softly, “You’re doing good, maybe your mouth can do more than just lying.”
“Fuck… I never lied!” I thrust up into her in embarrassment, our sweat damps the leather seat – the squeaking sound echoes obscenely in the car. “Then show me, show me you are capable of making me come… like how it is in those dirty little stories you wrote about me.”
Her encouraging tone is exactly what I need to turn me on even more. I grab her waist with both of my hands, pushing her away from my laps onto the seat before I reposition myself before her. Yujin’s long legs immediately wrap around my chest; her leather boots are still on. The stiff texture contrasts with her smooth skin, and they just add an extra layer of stimulation on my sweating body.
I start pounding into Yujin in a relentless fashion as the desire I’ve been trying to hide is inevitably flooding through my body. I grab her thighs, lifting her legs and rest them onto my shoulder. Yujin rubs her clit with one hand, letting out several cracked moans, while the other hand grabs her own tits. Her eyes are half closed, getting lost in the sensation.
The minivan shakes, matching our fanatic rhythm. The tinted windows already fogged up from the heating atmosphere, I never stop my thrusting. My nails dig deep into her skin like I’m trying to hang onto something before my downfall. “Hmm? Yujin-ssi? Is this what you want? Getting wet because a fanboy is filling you up?” I tease.
“Mmph, just like that… harder… When are you gonna admit that I am better than Liz? Only this is not enough…” She mutters.
I thrust once more, to the absolute deepest I can and I just hold it still. “Don’t say her name!” I squeeze out a cracked groan.
“Liz this… Liz that, but look at who is so hard inside me right now… Hmm?” Yujin keeps taunting me like she is daring me to go harder. Yet, she pushes me away, I whine from the loss of the friction.
Yujin stands up and paces slowly to the middle row, where Liz was sitting. She gets her hands onto the seat, while arching her body and stretches her perfect ass out. I immediately follow her, hands located onto her soft waist try to enter her again. But instead, Yujin grabs my shaft, heads turn back toward me, eyes full of nothing but seduction.
“Bet your mouth is already watering just by thinking how tight this ass would be, huh?” Yujin teases, rubbing my fully hard length up and down along the entrance of her but never letting me in.
“Fuck… please let me in already.” I don’t stand a chance when there is a perfect body like Yujin’s in front of me.
“Does your precious little angel ever make you beg like this? I guess not, huh?”
“N…No”, I take a big sniff, but unfortunately, Liz’s pure, vanilla-flavored scent gets replaced gradually by Yujin’s addicting mixture of her sweat and her floral perfume. I whine again, but this time from pure hunger. “Please… I want you so bad…” My voice muffles.
“Good Boy, I love it when you are honest.” She finally puts me back into that warm and wet pussy that I’ve been craving for. I continue to fuck her from behind; my hand just can’t stop itself from slapping Yujin’s bouncy butt.
“Mmph~~~” She moans exaggeratedly, like an acknowledgment of how her body makes me lose control. “How does it feel? Becoming the protagonist of those stories you wrote?”
“Fuck… It feels amazing, you’re so fucking tight.” I admit in both guilt and shame.
“Good. Then give me all of it, do better than that nerd you built.”
“I…I’ll try, I am not sure if I can last long… mmph.” I slow down my pounding by a notch, otherwise I’d soon give in and unload myself into Yujin.
“You better do, you know the consequence of disappointing me, right~” I can’t see her face, but her words are enough to let me pick up my pace again. I bite my bottom lip as hard as possible to endure the building pleasure, but surprisingly I don’t feel any pain. It must be the dopamine flooding rent-free in my system, that my sense of pain is already overwhelmed.
I try to alternate my rhythm between slower, deeper strokes and shallower, quicker thrusts. Yujin is clearly also enjoying herself as I feel her walls clenching against me each time I enter, trying to drain me in a timely manner.
“Fuck… just like that, you are gonna make me come!” I can feel Yujin’s pussy clenching tighter and tigher on me; I keep slamming into her as she gradually gives in to the pleasure. It only takes one extra deep thrust before she hits her climax. Yujin’s body locks up, fingers digging into the seat while her walls flutter and spasm, almost making me come on the spot. I slow down, and keep thrusting through her orgasm.
Yujin takes a few deep breaths until she releases my throbbing shaft from her pussy. Her juice immediately drips out from the point of contact, my itching dick is swollen, coated by her essence entirely. She turns around, quickly pushes me down onto the seat before guiding me back into her again. I bury my face into her chest, greedily sniff her aroused scent.
“You made me come… not bad. So, you get what you deserve, fanboy.” She smirks.
And we both know it won’t take long for me to release into her. She keeps riding me – each time she rolls her hips so my shaft is getting sealed by her wetness from all angles. Sweat pours off both of us, mixing between our bodies, the air thick and heavy with the scent of sex and her perfume and pure desperation.
“Now… come for me~” Yujin orders, and that’s all I need.
After she slams back down on me one last time, I grab her waist firmly as I cross the line of no return. I come. Hard. Ropes of thick juices of mine flooding her walls while I keep kissing her tits messily. Yujin moans loud enough like she’s screaming. She keeps grinding down through my orgasm like she is chasing a second of her own, her walls fluttering and squeezing every last drop out of me.
But she doesn’t just stop there. Even as I am still pulsing inside her, she keeps riding. The overstimulation hits like lightning—pleasure so sharp that I can’t distinguish if it is pain. My thighs tremble violently, every nerve in my body is screaming.
I am gasping, chest heaving, sweat pouring into my eyes. My shaft keeps throbbing, raw and oversensitive. The minivan felt like a sauna now, windows completely fogged, the leather beneath us soaked with sweat and cum and her arousal. My balls ached, my thighs burned, but the pleasure kept building again, impossibly, another orgasm already coiling tight in my gut.
“Again,” she demands, wrecked but still commanding. She leans down, biting my lower lip hard enough to sting. “Fill me until it’s dripping out of me when Liz gets back.”
The mention of Liz—sweet, pure Liz—should have killed the mood. Instead, it twists something dark and guilty and unbearably hot in my chest. I buck up into Yujin with a broken sob, chasing that second release like I’m wicked. She meets every thrust, riding me harder, faster, her tits bouncing, hair wild, eyes locking on mine like how she shows up in every filthy thought I’d ever had. Within another minute, I come again. This time it doesn’t last as long, but the pleasure is equally high.
Yujin lifts herself up from my wrecked length, the obscene picture of my own essence mixed with her juice dripping out of her pussy almost makes me faint on the spot. She sits down next to me; fingers spooning a scoop of the cream and puts right into her mouth.
“Hmm… tastes good…” Yujin grins.
“Yujin… fuck… You’re unreal.” My breath has yet to recover from the overwhelming two orgasms in a row. I lie down on her lap while she caresses my hair in soft strokes. “I…I’m so drained, just give me like one minute. I need to catch my breath before we clean this mess.”
“Aw~ don’t worry, take as long as you need.” Yujin’s voice is like honey.
I feel the danger of getting caught by the manager and Liz approaching. But hey, how am I supposed to clean up when my balls just got drained by Yujin? As much as I want to get back on my feet and start wiping down the mess everywhere, my eyes are getting really heavy.
“My cute little fan boy~ have you changed your mind yet? Who is your favorite IVE member now?” Yujin teases me, fingers scratching my neck gently.
The dial turns. It wasn't a question, but rather a demand for total submission.
I gaze up at Yujin’s gorgeous face. It took me years to realize what I really wanted. I had committed a thoughtcrime for years, pretending to be pure-hearted and innocent. But I inevitably succumbed to my lust.
All those pitiful little lies I told myself! All those stubborn denials of my true desire! Two salt-scented tears trickle down the sides of my nose.
But it is alright. Everything is alright. The struggle is finished. I had won the victory over myself.
“I love An Yujin.”
My eyes give up resisting the weight anymore.
“Hey… hey!” Yujin pushes my shoulders, “At least put your pants back on!”
I don’t care anymore. The oxytocin is real. Unconsciousness soon claims me.
The world doesn’t go out with a bang; it ends with the scent of Yujin and the crushing weight of a memory too heavy for my waking self to hold. My vision blurs, the tint of the van’s windows stretching into an infinite, velvety black—and then, the hum of the AC is replaced by the dry rustle of wind.
-
I open my eyes again, and I find myself sitting on the bench in the park where I spotted IVE an hour or two ago. The sun had drifted to the west, dimmer orange light hover above the park.
“Where I spotted IVE…”
I panic, my lips are dry and my eyes heavy. I quickly stand up and sprint to the parking lot, no minivans are there. NO! It must be that the manager dropped me off where he picked me up, and I fell asleep again on the bench because I was so exhausted from the sex! It makes sense that I don’t remember WHEN I got dropped off and HOW I said goodbye to Liz and Yujin.
I… I need proof of this. So, I reach out to my pocket.
My phone is there; it must get handed back to me when they dropped me off! I know it!
I need to see the signature…. I need to see that sharpie ink.
I impatiently rip off the phone case and let it drop to the grass, where two sleeved photo cards of Yujin and Liz are still quietly sitting there. Back facing me.
I close my eyes and pray… Please don’t let it be a dream. But when I open them again, the photocards are gone as a breeze blows through me. The grass flutters, the geese idling in the lake fly up and I am left shaking in the wind. The two cards swirl in the wind, entering an entangled state like my memory.
The faces of my purest angel and my desired downfall start to blend, the colors of their hair and the light in their eyes mixing together into a frantic, spinning blur. Akin to the mess in my brain: there is one line of pure admiration, for the boy who smiles stupidly hearing Liz’s vocal; and the other line of unsatisfiable desires, for the boy who simps Yujin under the blanket in those lonely midnights.
They ran perfectly parallel in my head, one line never touching the other. Until today, when the boundary is starting to become a twisting manifold in front of my own eyes.
The photocards finally cease their frantic spinning in the spring SoCal air, drifting down like misplaced autumn leaves. They settle quietly upon the grass, just two feet away—a distance that felt like a light-year. I laugh; not a sound of triumph, but a soft, hollow exhale of relief.
Maybe. Just maybe.
I realize in this heartbeat that I don’t have to know.
The wave function doesn’t need to collapse.
I don’t have to see if the ink was still there.
If I look and see the bold strokes of her pen, I’d spend the rest of my life doubting my own sanity, haunting by a miracle I could never explain.
If I look and see only a blank, pristine surface, I’d be forced to mourn a ghost until the day I’m gone.
They are the definition and the projection of perfection and beauty onto my lonely little world. But for forty minutes, they were vivid. Liz’s dimple was a hymn I could finally hear, and Yujin’s touch was a fire I could finally feel—within my reach, yet forever beyond my grasp.
They’re like smoke in a mirror: always visible, but always far away.
Maybe it is destined? But we’ll never meet under the daylight.
I look up into the sky, squinting against the relentless gold of the California dusk, and one thing remains certain.
We shared the same horizon.
We breathed the same heavy, salt-tinged air of Los Angeles.
We are both on the way for what we love.
We both exist, beating hearts on this same spinning planet.
Doesn’t THAT make us real?
Perhaps.
Asymmetrical lines can be beautiful, but parallel lines will never intersect….
A/N: A quick fic scribbled this week, inspired by an old song that I put on repeat recently!
Word Count: 10K, Liz x Male Reader
Summary: Messy breakup of you and your girlfriend Liz (now your ex) led to attempts to figure out why this seemingly perfect relationship vanishes into nothing.
See it on fanprose
“I… I don’t know if I can handle this anymore… (sob) It… It’ll be better if we both just… move on!” Dead silence afterwards, followed by the ruthless beeping sound from your phone.
That’s the last sentence you heard before your girlfriend Kim Jiwon hung up the call. To be more exact, she is your ex-girlfriend right now. You let your phone slide down on the mattress in awe, by the moment you realize to call her back, her number is already in voice mail mode. Within expectation, Message is sent and left on read. A few days later, your number was added to her Blocked list, no more “Can I talk to you?” or “Liz, please let me explain!” ever got through.
---
Her cracked and sad murmuring lingered in your head like a curse over the past week. Why? You swear everything in your relationship was going so smoothly. Hell, it was better than the few romances you had before you met Liz.
The first anniversary was just last week. You took a huge chunk of your PhD stipend to book a fancy restaurant that serves little food on very big plates and surprised Liz with a bouquet full of pink roses. You hid the bouquet behind you as you walked towards her. She’s wearing a brown tank top beneath a black cardigan. Her hair dyed brown, her plump lips are glassy under the orange late-afternoon sun. “She’s literally an angel.” You thought.
“Jiwon, I made a guess that you’ll probably like this.” You hand her the bouquet, trying to act calm despite your face is just as pink as the flowers.
“Aw~ they’re so lovely! How do you know I like pink roses?” Liz is blushed as well; your gaze meets each other’s. Her endearing dimple makes you fall deeper each time you look at her.
“I thought gorgeous and elegant girls all like roses. Like yourself.” You squeeze a faint smile, pulling her close on your side while she holds the bouquet with both hands, eyes flickered full of joy from your compliment.
“You’re trying to make me blush again, stop~” Liz hides her face into your neck, her warm breath brushing your skin. That fresh vanilla scent of her shampoo makes you smile.
You hug her closer to you and she hums softly, your palm never leaving her waist.
The rest of the date was phenomenal, you thought.
The way how she couldn’t hide her smile when you held her hand into the restaurant and told her to order whatever she wanted to eat.
The way her cheeks turned so pink after the second glass of wine was down to her stomach.
The way she covers her face shyly while mumbling something like, “Babe… I love you so much. Hehehe…”
The way how she eagerly kissed you when you shut her apartment door and she pinched you to the wall.
The way how she let out soft moans like melodies from heaven when you really felt her with your body.
The way your bodies and the sheets tangling together the morning after, her room filled with nothing but love.
---
“I loved you too, Liz. I still fucking love you right now. I still do…” Maybe it was the sixth can of beer tonight? Maybe seventh. You lost track.
---
But that was all in past tense. It wouldn’t change the fact that you’re now single again for reasons that are still unknown to you. You wish you have something to do, just to distract your attention somewhere else. But unfortunately, this year is the time you took to fully prepare the upcoming GRE exam so your life is nothing but doing practice exams and studying.
How the fuck you’re supposed to study when your girlfriend just cut you off after your first anniversary? You stare at the window with a pair of eyes that are red from too much crying. Even the weather is not on your side right now, 5 days of consecutive raining already. There is no sunlight, just non-stopping tears dropping down from heaven.
You rub your eyes with the back of your bandaged palm: injured from slamming the table while you re-watched every video clip you filmed from the past dates. Blossom bite marks turned into purple bruise still clearly visible as you bit your forearm as a desperate measure to stop your never-ending grief. You caress your neck, where Liz left you a hickey at that night – the final proof of her existence on your body.
For maybe the tenth time today, you persuade yourself to pick yourself up. You throw your phone onto your bed without mercy; it bounces a few times before it lands on the pillow. The lockscreen is still the first picture you ever took with Liz. In that amusement park. She forced you to wear cat ears like she did and it had been your wallpaper ever since. You have yet to replace it.
You stare into the empty practice exam booklet, each problem is easier to solve than to figure out why she left you like this, broken and messy. The knots in topology are like how your heart is tangling and twitching. Those non-converging sequences in those metric spaces are cruel reminders of how the distance between you and Liz is approaching infinitely, no matter how you define it.
“What did I do wrong that you abandoned me like this, Liz?” You ask yourself this one question. For many years since you really dived into the world of academia, intellect had been the only weapon you had against the world. And apparently you want to know the answer to this more than anything else on the booklet. So, you attempt to solve your broken heart.
Maybe someone else is doing the same.
---
Liz is working her shift in the boba shop next to your campus. She looks tiny in front of the shelves full of tea jugs and syrup bottles. Never enough makeup can cover her grief and joyless face. The good news is, it is not busy because of the endless rain in the past a few days. The bad news is, it is not busy that Liz is guaranteed to be mourning the lost love.
“How can I help you today?” She manages to smile weakly, letting her dimple to the work of greeting a new customer walking in.
“An iced Thai tea, half sugar and half ice, please.” The young man says.
She picks up a sharpie on the cash register, writing the man’s order on the cup.
“50% of sugar and 50% ice, but 0% of probability that I can stop thinking about him.”
Liz lets out a quiet sigh as she turns to make the drink. She isn’t living a good life for days either, dark circles from sleep deprivation. Her apron is stained with tea and the residues of brown sugar that she’s too exhausted to clean up.
She adds the tea base into the plastic cup, one pump of syrup instead of two. Then she fills the cup with ice, the ice cubes bounce with each other, that crisp sound temporally overrides the sad rhythm of rain drops onto the roof.
“Shuck-a-shuck” Liz shakes the cup harder than usual, maybe she is hoping that she can shake you off her mind. But she knows for a fact that she cannot.
For the past a few days, she asked for longer shifts from her manager as she claimed she is free and willing to help. But certainly, Liz herself knows the exact reason why. She needs work to numb herself.
Each time the door chimes, she’d forget to breath for a fraction of a second before realizing it is just another stranger walking in for drinks.
She started to make mistakes.
“Excuse me, miss? I believe I didn’t order for extra espresso and less sugar? It is too bitter, it is undrinkable.” A middle-aged woman grumbles, pushing the cup on the table aggressively, while pointing at the dark sharpie inks, saying “Espresso +2”.
“I… I am so sorry ma’am, I’ll make you a new one right now.” Liz stares into the plastic cup.
Vietnamese Iced Coffee, light ice and half sugar, adding two shots of extra espresso. There is no way she gets the order wrong, the lady literally just asked for a plain Vietnamese Iced Coffee, no customizations.
It is because of her muscle memory.
It is because that was your favorite drink.
Liz pours the mistakenly made drink in the sink. The brown liquid swirls on the metals, trying one last time to resist before getting dragged to eternal darkness by gravity. She sighs, the cup is being thrown into trash, but that sharpie ink is like a mark that she can never erase.
She quickly remakes the drink; the woman grabs it from the table and leaves without looking at Liz again. Glad that she didn’t, because Liz is zoned out again.
“Oppa… How can you sleep? Two extra shots of espresso at 10 P.M.?” Liz winked her puppy eyes at you as you visited during one of her late-night shifts.
“Don’t worry about me, Liz-ah. I’m going to pull an all-nighter, I am so behind on the topics and I need to catch up!” You smiled, putting your credit card onto the card reader.
“Okie~ Give me a moment! You’ll be my last customer tonight anyway!” Liz gave you a big, warm smile as she started to make the drink for you.
“Take your time, babe. I’m not going anywhere until you’re home safe.”
“You’re the best, you know that right?” She was so happy.
It was beyond suspicious if you say you didn’t plan all this beforehand. Because the late-night walk to Liz’s place inevitably led to further events. You kissed her while you were still in the doorway. Her finger trembled so hard while trying to insert the key to her apartment. Her face looked like a peach that you eagerly wanted to taste.
Your hands were already all over her slim frame as Liz impatiently kicked the door shut after you.
“My room, Oppa…” Her breath hitched, one hand on your belt with another cupping your face.
---
The first night was rather a fever dream for both of you, she insisted you to sleep over as it was already past midnight when you two were done with the “stuff”. You oblige.
---
“We’re never going back… I am sorry Oppa, I… I wasn’t good enough for you.” Tears in Liz’s eyes drag her back to the reality.
As the final customer has his drink and leaves the door closed, Liz walks out to the door to flip that sign from “Welcome in!” to “Closed”. She stands under the dripping roof, staring into the heavy fog under the city lights. She sees your silhouette like a mirage that she always couldn’t catch up on.
“He’ll be better off without me.”
She thinks too much. Always too much.
Liz recalls that one night before your last final exam before you put that Bachelor’s degree in your bag. She called you for dinner together. You didn’t reject her, but you brought your laptop with you.
As much as she tried to cheer you up and said something like, “Oppa, I know you will be fine, you’re the smartest person I’ve ever met!” You didn’t respond. Your eyes are lifeless and locked onto the pages of complex variables.
“Oppa~ Take a break! Does my outfit look cute tonight?” She insisted, tapping on your shoulder. You flinched.
She saw you flinched.
You knew you didn’t mean to dismiss her like this but you were caught up in the middle of a theorem - unfortunately she thought you did.
“I’m so sorry, Liz-ah… I am really behind and the exam is tomorrow, if I don’t get an A, my GPA falls under the scholarship threshold and my Grad school will be a huge financial burden on me. I promise I’ll compensate you this weekend, do you want to go to that amusement park again? It’s gonna be on me.” You packed your stuff up, paid the bill and walked out the restaurant.
“It… it is ok Oppa, I understand.” She remained seated, tried her best to finish her plate of spaghetti. When she was done, she ran out of the door trying to chase you. But you were nowhere to be seen already.
“I’m a distraction… and he’s so far away… there is no way I am catching up with him”
That was the start of her grand scheme of overthinking.
And the storyline inevitably shifted to the day of your anniversary.
---
Liz is still standing under the roof. The shift had already ended, her only colleague had finished their cleaning tasks and locked the front door. Liz farewells the girl as her boyfriend comes to pick her up. She tried to hold it longer, making sure they’re far away enough.
She ducks down, burying her face into her palms and start crying.
“Oppa… I’ll try to get better; will you ever want me back?” She sobs.
Her mind travels back a week before, to that anniversary date. She hated herself for being smart at the wrong moment, that she got all the “messages” she THOUGHT you were giving her.
Liz could not contain her happiness when she saw your approaching her with that bouquet of pink roses, she dived into your embrace, mumbling how much she loved you.
Until you ‘accidentally’ slipped the fact that you took out a big chunk of your stipend for that night.
The rain has no sign of stopping, so does Liz’s crying. She looks so small under the huge banner of the boba shop, the raindrops ruthlessly accelerate into the ground before splashing onto her face. Her face that she intentionally put on extra layers of makeup to cover up her sadness.
How she wished she never overthought about a simple dinner and kept playing the game with you?
But she could not when you two finally sat down in the fancy restaurant and when the waitress handed the wine menu to you.
Liz was nervous, she didn’t know what to order.
“Oppa… we… we really don’t have to drink wine! It’s too expensive… I am fine with water, really.” She pulls the bottom of your shirt nervously.
But what she saw was how you confidently skipped two pages of the “By Glass” section and went directly into the “By Bottle” ones. She saw how you confidently pointed at the Tignanello on the reserve list that easily surpassed two days’ worth of her salary. Liz watched the waitress quickly returns to the table with a big smile like she treated you two as some VIPs. Her stomach dropped.
Liz took a sip of the wine when the waitress politely poured her half a glass. It tasted like velvet: smooth, soft. But it also tasted like some debt that she felt she could never pay back. She took a peek at you, tried to guess what’s hiding beneath your emotionless face.
A horrible idea had emerged from the bottle of her heart.
“It feels like a pity gift… I feel like I’m drinking away his future…”
Once the seed of doubt has been planted, it started to grow violently.
She recalled ten minutes before, when you explained to her the reason you picked Tignanello from the menu. Liz remembered you mentioned something about “elegance”, “high-end”. She couldn’t stop herself from thinking about your future academia society. You’d be no strangers to those fancy wines for those social gatherings, yet she’d still be the boba shop girl who would never fit in.
The compliments you gave her every five minutes to make her feel more confident, turned into “duties” in her ears. She didn’t hear you sincerely said how pretty she was at that night, but instead interpreted as your one last attempt to make her feel like she belonged in the place. The live band was grooving in the beats; saxophones were playing beautiful harmonies. But Liz’s heart was nothing but dead silence.
When the food was served, Liz tried one more time to observe you. But what she saw was just another big hit to her fluttering, overthinking heart. You were in the middle of introducing something interesting you read recently to Liz, while effortlessly picked up the smaller fork to eat your salad.
Yet, she froze when her main course was brought to her by the waitress. Liz stared at the row of polished silverwares like huge walls that separate her world from yours. She looked at your face one more time, you seemed pretty relaxed and like you were no strangers to those “big plates and little food” places.
She frightened. Your hands waved in the air while you commended the food, and you told her with a big smile on your face, “Liz-ah… their steak is really nice, do you like it? If you like it here, we can come here more often. You deserve the best, babe.”
“Do I really?” … Her heart skipped a bit.
It was at that moment; a decision was made by Liz.
“He… he’ll be better off without me, without someone who takes away his meal stipend for flowers and tuition money for a bottle of wine…”
You didn’t see a drop of tear fell of her beautiful chin in silence.
“But tonight, I’m going to give him everything. I’m leaving but I am going to love him so well that he’ll have enough warmth to last the entire lifetime…”
“Babe, it was really a nice meal. I love you so much! Wanna come to my place?” Liz managed to smile as happily as she could.
“Hell yeah…” You could read her implication; your face started to burn but you couldn’t contain your excitement and eagerness.
But maybe for the only time, that intellectual brain of yours guessed it wrong.
The taxi ride back to her place was nothing but silence. You thought you were both nervous for the incoming romance and intimacy for the anniversary night. But Liz had a mental breakdown, repeating the breakup message she’d sent you like a mantra.
You held her hand tightly as you exited the taxicab, you let her lead the way up the stairs. You loved her, you were excited and impatient. You started to plant soft kisses onto Liz’s neck on the stair case. The night breeze blew through your body and you both shivered, you pulled Liz closer to you for a hug, murmuring maybe for the fiftieth time for the night, “Liz… babe, I love you so much.”
It all sounded like a pitiful lie to her.
The door was unlocked; Liz flicked the light switch open. The dim, orange lamp adds a bit warmth to the atmosphere. You remembered how eager Liz was.
Her mouth was already all over yours. You thought it was the alcohol kicking in as you felt a bit lightheaded. But you didn’t expect Liz to be this... aggressive. It was not the first time you two had intimate moments like this, but she was always on that shy side. You were the one that initiated and took the lead.
Instead, she pushed you against her bedroom wall while she impatiently kicked off her flats. “Babe... give me everything tonight. Don’t leave any regret behind.” She said as she gave you another wet, open-mouthed kiss.
“Regret? Damn... this girl is going all in!” You felt like a winner. It must’ve been the date night you spent a lot of efforts planning made her so happy. It must’ve been that you showed how deeply you loved her, that she was moved and wanted to love you as much in return.
So, when her fingers scratched and dug a little bit too deep into your chest, you didn’t feel the pain. Instead, you took it as a love language of how deeply she loved you. But for Liz, as she watched the angry red lines bloom across your chest—marks left by her own desperate, searching fingertips - Liz didn’t see a sign of passion.
To her, those scratches were a handwritten ledger of everything she was about to give up. They weren't meant to hurt you; they were Liz’s final, selfish attempt to make sure that for at least a few days, you couldn't even change your shirt without feeling the ghost of her touch. Of course, you never knew it.
You felt so triumphed that you finally won her.
You felt so inspired that Liz finally gave herself to you.
You felt so loved that her body and yours are merging into one.
For Liz... it was how she tried so hard to trace every inch of your skin for one last time. It was her attempt to touch you, to feel you as much as possible. When she left, she could hold on to the texture of your body a bit longer. Liz was mentally archiving the shape of you. The knob on your shoulders for days of sitting and studying, the muscles of your arms.
Liz moved with a desperate, silent greed, memorizing the weight of your limbs like a student cramming for an exam she was destined to fail. She wanted to lock the heavy rhythm of your heartbeat into her bones, creating a relic of you inside her mind that she could mourn once she exiles herself from your future.
You kissed her back, only to realize Liz’s eyes were shut the whole time. Maybe she was just lost in the sensation, maybe you made her feel so overwhelmed from the desires that she needed to mute one of her senses to focus on the others.
What you didn’t know was how she tried her best to not lock onto you gaze before her decision crumbles. Her decision to break her heart, and yours, for your future success.
You shifted your hands lower and lower, light touches here and there. Her small but perky tits, flat tummy and eventually to her swollen entrance beneath the black lace pantie.
“Liz-Ah... you’re already so wet for me.” You teased, sliding one finger into her.
“Mmph....” She responded with nothing but a breathy moan. Her hips locked onto your hands a bit tighter, eyes still closed.
Although she tried her best to not let go of your finger inside her, the pleasure pushed her to give in. Her arms crossed around your neck; her pretty doll eyes started to flutter from the sensation.
Once, twice. She started to grind into your finger, so you added in one more into her.
“Oppa... you are making me feel so good... don’t ever leave me...” Liz slipped out a weak murmur. You thought it was just a “standard” thing girls say when they’re aroused.
Liz meant it. She never wanted you to go. But she knew she had to leave herself.
Your hardness almost broke through the fabric of your boxers, so you removed your fingers from Liz and started to unbuckle your belt.
She was lying on her back, breath hitching from the sensation. Liz put her delicate finger onto her clit, drawing lazy circles.
“Mmph… Oppa, give it all to me tonight… Let me feel you already.” Liz murmured.
“Yes… babe, tell me any time if it is too much, ok?” You can’t wait, lining the itching tip of your shaft against her wet entrance. You rub it a few times before pushing into her tight walls. For a moment, you wondered why she didn’t tell you to put on a condom like every single time you two had sex before.
Maybe she wanted to really feel you for once.
You kneeled on her mattress, hands hovering on her waists. Liz put a pillow beneath her back to support it, her big, watery eyes finally locked straight into your gaze. You couldn’t resist the way she looked at you, it only made you want to love her more.
Hence you started your thrusts, deeper and faster each time.
“Mmph… just like that Oppa… I love you… I LOVE YOU!” Liz cried out. “She must be really enjoying the pleasure right now.” You thought, your hips never stopped moving.
Her angelic moans were the catalyst of your unstoppable climax and you were surprised that how closely she clung onto your body and how tightly her fluttering folds squeezed your itching length. It had never been like this before. You grinned; felt so fucking proud of everything you gave her tonight.
“Liz… babe… come for me, don’t hold back…” You noticed how her eyes started to dilate; her legs started to tremble under your grasp. She was close.
“Yes! Yes… I’m gonna come… shit!” Liz rarely cursed, when she did, you knew she was on hell of a ride. She sat up from the bed, hiding her face into your neck as you kept pushing deep inside her. You relocated your palms from her small but firm butt onto her face, pulling her close for a long, wet kiss as you felt her giving herself into you.
“Oppa! I… I am coming! Ah shit… I can never love you enough.” A hitched cry came out from Liz’s glossy lips as she planted another kiss onto your neck.
But what came with her climax was unexpected. First of all, you felt her walls started to spasm, flooding your hard shaft with her sweet nectar. It lasted quite long, longer than it ever had. Meanwhile, you felt a hard sting on your neck. Liz bit down onto your skin with a force that was as hard as her orgasm.
A hickey? Liz had got that dark romantic spirit in her. You thought.
She didn’t feel the same.
Liz didn't just want to kiss you; she wanted to leave a bruise that looked like a blooming rose—a twin to the bouquet you bought her.
She wanted a mark that would turn purple and then yellow, a slow-fading sunset of your relationship. She silently screamed a goodbye into your soul while you groaned out her name in a victory cry.
“Liz!... Fuck…” You quickly felt the urge to come after her, with the pain on your neck surprisingly boosted your pleasure.
“Don’t pull out! Oppa… Let me feel you inside me… please!” Liz begged, eyes already full of tears.
“Did it feel that good?” You didn’t have the time to finish the thought as the pleasure started to emerge and rushed down your spine. Your abdomen started shaking violently, you could’ve help but to push Liz down to the bed and give her one final, deep thrust.
You soon gave in. Spurts after spurts of your essence were pumped into Liz’s body, mixing with her own nectar. Her walls kept fluttering, milking every last drop that you had left in your balls. The oxytocin soon kicked in, you dived your face into her chest, inhaling the faint scent of her vanilla body wash, mixing with a hint of the salt from her sweat.
You planted kiss after kiss on her tits, each time murmuring something like how you loved her and how you would never let her leave you.
“I really love you too… Oppa.” She smiled, faintly.
Your world soon blacked out as Liz kept caressing your messy hair with her fingers. Her addicting scent and soft strokes made your eyes feel heavier and heavier.
That was the last time you see her. What you didn’t witness after was how Liz hid herself next to your body for the whole night with non-stop sobbing and crying.
Next morning, she was already gone by the time you woke up from the beyond-exhausting sex that took place. A short text was sent to you, Liz told you she headed to work already. Your clothes were nicely folded beside you, a cup of coffee was already half-cold, still waiting for you to drink it.
“Last night was a new start of Liz and I, we’re destined to be lovers forever.” You told yourself.
“Last night was the finale of Oppa and I, we’re destined to be apart from now.” Liz cried again in work.
---
Two more cans of beer had been dumped into your stomach that’s filled with nothing but alcohol.
You don’t understand. You genuinely don’t. You thought that anniversary date was a banger. It was an extraordinary attempt to compensate Liz for not being able to take care of her as a girlfriend during the busy days of your exams.
You don’t understand why she’d left despite she seemed so happy at night when she held the bouquet. That bouquet you acquired by skipping your daily caffeine: your only source of happiness in this world besides Liz herself. You thought the roses were a promise. You didn't know she was looking at them like they were a funeral wreath.
You don’t understand why she felt so timid in that restaurant and asked you shyly, “w.., which fork is for salad again?”
“Ah babe, take it easy, use whichever one you feel like. You can even use the spoon, no one is gonna judge you here.” You responded with a confident grin because you wanted her to feel at home. But in this room filled with alcohol-scented air, you realized it was probably a mistake. Maybe the way you tried to liberate those etiquettes for her was making her feel uncomfortable and not belonging.
Your stomach had growled through the entire three-course meal, a hollow reminder of the breakfasts that you’d skipped for a month. But every time you looked across the candlelight at Liz, the hunger didn't matter. You’d trade a thousand meals just to see the way the restaurant’s gold light caught her eyes.
You had a spreadsheet. You knew exactly how many days of ramen it took to afford that bottle of wine she liked. You felt like a genius for pulling it off, like you were finally playing the part of the successful man she always deserved.
You had calculated the cost of that night down to the cent. You felt like a king when you handed the waiter your card, even though you knew your bank account was screaming. But now, staring at the empty beer cans, you feel like a fraud.
“Maybe she saw the way my hand shook when the bill came. Maybe she left because she realized she was dating a man who had to choose between a bottle of wine and a week of proper meals. Maybe she didn’t need someone who needed to skip his coffee just to buy her roses …” You murmur in the darkness.
She deserved better.
You stumble your way to the bathroom, not even bothering to turn on the lights. The dim moonlight shines through the curtains, projecting your silhouette onto the walls. The strong urge to vomit makes your gut tangle, but you can only cough and nothing comes out of your mouth. Because you haven’t eaten for a damn long while.
You try to ease the discomfort by splashing cold water onto your face. You stare at your reflection in the mirror but you don’t recognize this person in front of you. Eyes are red, beards are unshaved and hair is messy. Days of skipping meals had already made your jaw line visibly thinner.
Why would Liz ever love a guy like this?
A sense of self-pitying and guilt starts to wrench your exhaust heart. All those sweet moments you had with Liz started to become bitter. You begin to doubt yourself.
Maybe if you didn’t study at that dinner date, she would’ve not seen you as an academic prick that values textbooks more than his girlfriend.
Maybe if your lips didn’t twitch when you signed the bill, she would’ve really trusted you that her life would be better being with you.
Maybe if you didn’t slip the fact that the bouquet was the product of you cutting your caffeine… at least you should’ve still gone to the shop to see her after work.
Or maybe, if you were simply a better person… better to the extend to deserve an angel like her.
You think, at this point, the reason why she left you was clear enough. But you want to give it one more chance because something you see from the mirror.
The hickey that she planted on your neck.
It had already turned yellowish, the bruise that you interpreted as a mark of eternal love was actually an unforeseeable goodbye. By the time it fades, Liz will be long gone. Your relationship with her would already vanish into the void. You hover your trembling fingers onto the faint mark, so afraid that the last tether you have to Liz would disappear. You stare dead into your reflection. One last time.
You wake up your phone, the picture of you and Liz wearing cat-ears is still there.
You just turned it into black and white.
You click into your contacts; the entire page of recent calls is nothing but Liz. But none of the calls ever went through, why should it be any different this time?
“She’s not coming back…” You cry out, tapping the call button regardless.
---
Liz is still standing beneath the roof in the pouring rain. Perhaps an hour had passed? Maybe two. She couldn’t keep track. She had been waiting. Waiting for what? She didn’t even know.
“Oppa… if you still have feelings for me, would you call me? I blocked your number before because I was so afraid that I couldn’t stop myself from running back to you the moment I hear you speak. But, I… I don’t dare to call you first, I’m so afraid that you got mad at me. Even you did, I am not blaming you at all. It was my fault that I left you like this… you… you’re just so far away, I’ll never be able to catch up to you.” She sobs.
Liz then feels something vibrating in the pocket of her jeans. She pulls out her phone and the screen is lit. The same lockscreen as yours: you, her, cat ears. She thinks it is her colleague calling to check if she’s home safe.
“Oh my god…” A fire is lit both on her face and inside her heart.
---
“Liz!!! Can you hear me? Liz!!!” You scream as for a miracle; Liz picks up your call.
You can hear nothing but rain dropping to the ground and occasional car-honking. She does not say a world. Only the consistent, non-stopping rain is reminding you she’s still there. Is she listening?
“L…Liz-ah, I am so sorry.” You quiet down, afraid that you’ll scared Liz away and this one and only chance will go to waste. Chill until you at least figure out the reason.
“Liz... I... should’ve not studied when you asked me out.” You start what you know is the chain of confession and apology.
“I… I was so afraid that if I fucked up that test, I would miss that scholarship threshold. If I didn’t get that stipend, I would be forced to go back to my parents’ house and attend school in my hometown! I… I couldn’t risk to leave you, Liz-ah…” You try your best to be calm, but the sobbing betrays you.
She does not say a thing. You can barely hear Liz’s uneven breath through the call, maybe she is giving you a chance? You don’t know, but you proceed.
“I am so sorry Liz… I should’ve been more confident that night. I really looked like a fraud, weren’t I? I must’ve been wolfing down the steak because I’d never been to such a fancy place before, I am sorry if that made us look bad. Liz-ah, please forgive me! I… I was indeed very hungry…” You are a stutter, crying mess although you tried your best to behave.
“Because I ate fucking instant noodles for weeks to save up money! Liz… I promise I’ll work harder; I’ll find a part-time job to give you more. Please! Please give me a chance!” You are both drunk and sad as hell, your neighbor may even call the police if they can see you hysterically screaming into the phone.
She is still speechless. Only a wet, repeating sound of something hitting onto the walk way.
“Thud, thud, thud…”
You see your own lifeline slip through your finger. But you want to give it a last stand.
“Please… don’t hang up! Liz-ah… I didn’t lose interest in you because I visited your boba shop less frequently!” You heart sinks, tears dropping without control. This is the last thing you want her to know. But this may be the final chance you get to talk to her, she has to know.
She deserves to know… even if that makes you look really bad.
“I HAD to cut my daily iced coffee… not because I didn’t want to see you! I switched to drinking Celsius instead… it was cheaper that way. So, I could add one more dozen of pink roses to the bouquet to make it 24… Liz-ah, do you know why?” You sigh, anticipating a response that you have no faith in receiving.
“Because I love you 24 hours a day. Liz…” You fall onto the floor.
Nothing. Only the frantic noise through the phone as the wind blows harshly into her microphone.
There is a weird sense of relief creeping up your chest, you stare into your phone emptily.
“She’s letting me speak, not because she wants to stay, but because she’s kind. Liz was always kind. She’s giving me a final defense before reading out my death sentence. She’s waiting for me to finish so she can say 'Goodbye' and hang up forever.”
You’ll be glad that you made the biggest mistake in this relationship with Liz.
“Liz! I am sorry! I never deserved you …” You scream one last time into the phone.
Weird enough, you hear your own voice echoing back to your ear through the door. Fortunately, the excess alcohol (double digits of cans, to be exact) did not fully take away your ability to speculate.
You dash to your apartment door like a mad dog, swing the door handle open violently. The door smashes your arm but you don’t care. Because Liz is there.
She is a sobbing mess, just like yourself. Her breath is still hitching; her chest moves up and down so fast that you think she is about to pass out. Her makeup is almost gone, only a faint line of her eyeliners staining on each side of her cheeks. Strands of her messy hair stick onto her forehead because of the rain.
“Oppa… I am so sorry…” Liz falls into your chest, looking up to you. Her pretty doll eyes are watery, filled with nothing but pure guilt.
It is at this moment; you figure everything out. Liz was not acting to be patient; she was not trying to offer you her final bit of mercy by letting you finish everything you wanted to say to her before burying your relationship in the past.
She was sprinting in the rain.
She was running like she was about to lose it all.
She was letting the rain showering her slim frame, hoping that can cleanse her guilt.
She was letting the storm brushing through her shaking body, praying that can blow away how much she was mistaken.
Occasional cars drove pass her, splashing water onto Liz. But she didn’t give a damn.
People gave her weird looks as a girl was running in the rain, crying like someone had hurt her. But Liz couldn’t care less.
Because all she cared was you.
---
She can barely stand from the exhaustion of sprinting a mile in the heavy rain. You gently pull her into the apartment so she doesn’t catch a cold. “Oppa... I owe you an apology… is it too late to apologize?” Liz’s tone is weak, but her gaze with nothing but sincere.
“It is never too late… Liz-ah! I… I am the one that should say sorry.” You take off her rain-soaked jacket, leave it on the couch while pulling her closer.
“Oppa… I thought I was a liability of you… I am so sorry…” Liz murmurs, her chest moves up and down unevenly.
“Liz-ah… you’re never… I can never love you enough. I promise I’ll give you more from now on, would you give me that chance?” You inhale deeply, trying to take in all of her scent. The vanilla shampoo is fading, gradually replaced by the fresh smell of the rain.
“Oppa, I will never leave again!” She sobs.
You stare at her face; she is still gorgeous despite the blurred makeup. Her cheeks are flushed from the intense running, looking a peach that you suddenly have the urge to acquire a taste.
“Liz-ah, we can save that conversation for later. Now we are gonna get you dry before you get sick, ok?” You let her go, fingers caressing her wet hair. Liz’s tiny body is still shaking; you know for a fact that she’d get a fever if a hot shower is not applied soon.
You carefully hold her hand through the messy kitchen area that you didn’t bother to organize at all: bear cans everywhere, some instant noodle crumbs are just idling on the table, dished still yet to be washed.
“Oppa, did you drink all of this?” Liz asks, while sneezes heavily.
“Yeah… was too sad to have you go like this, but hey! Aren’t you here again? Let… let me worry about it later, we’re gonna take of you first, princess.”
She is amused from the title, one hand covering her mouth shyly but her grin is so obvious that she can’t hid even with both of her hands. You turn the water to the hottest temperature; the mirror starts to fog up as you look at Liz and yourself in the reflection.
Now you know how difficult was the past few days for both of you. Liz’s dark circles are almost at the size of her big eyes, her jawline just visibly thinner like yours. There is her tiny smile as she notices you staring at her through the mirror.
You won’t let her go this time. Not again. You turn around and lean in to kiss her.
Her pink lips are like fire that ignites the foggy bathroom, you cup her face with both of your palms as you keep savoring Liz’s plump lips. You both feel the hunger and eagerness that you tried so hard to suppress for days, now it is like a ruthless flood rushing through a falling dam.
Your tongue quickly enters her mouth, swirling with hers like you’re about to lose it all. You are. Your fingers impatiently unbutton Liz’s blouse, while she stumbles back a few steps to sit on the sink for support.
“Oppa…” This time you don’t let her finish, rarely. Days of separation and yearning for Liz had turned you into a desperate soul, if you had any left. Your hands wrap around her back, unhooking her bra in a shaky motion. The straps fall onto her body, revealing the full view of her upper body.
“I… I love you.” You stutter, before diving into her small but beautifully shaped tits. You put one of her nipples into your mouth softly, sucking her carefully. You are letting Liz know that you never abandoned her, instead you are always worshipping her.
“Mmph!” An airy moan comes through her mouth. You don’t stop. You know she needs it.
You flick your tongue back and forth around her nipple, you feel Liz’s breath hitching each time your hungry movement touches her sensitive tip. You don’t ignore the rest of her stunning frame, of course. Hands all over her firm butt – not the biggest in size, but absolutely perfect for you to grab.
Liz starts to feel the sensation that had been absent for the past week as well, her shaking hands are already on her jeans, unzipping the denim herself before lifting her hips to let the fabric drop to the humid wooden floor.
“I wanna see Oppa too, take your pants off for me~.” Her voice is like honey. You oblige without any hesitation. Your fingers are just as unsteady as hers, missing once before unbuckling your belt and kicking off your pants and boxer.
Your length springs free, Liz wraps her hand around it immediately. A shiver travels up your spine, assaulting your brain that you let out an involuntary moan. “I see it now, Oppa is not lying. I still turn you on~” She teases.
“Fuck… Liz, you always did. Always.” You manage to respond with a cracking tone, hands sliding into her plain black pantie with a white bow on the tip. She is already wet. Wet to the point that friction is almost non-existent as your finger slides directly into her juicy pussy.
“And you’re doing the same to me, oppa… you’re stretching me open with you finger… give me more, Oppa.” Liz mumbles into your ear while you bury your face into her other nipple. You leave slurpy, wet kisses all the way from her tits down to her tummy, to between her legs. The mushy, slightly salty scent of arousal dashes directly into your nostril through the thin fabric.
You kiss her folds through her damp panties; Liz’s response is instant. Her body locks tight and her watery eyes lose focus for a heartbeat. You take your time, hands roaming on her inner thighs and you alternate between touches and light scratches with your fingers.
“Oppa… Please do it already!” Liz moans while her legs clamping your head slightly.
“Aw~ Liz babe… look at you, how impatient. Weren’t you the one that made me wait, baby girl?” Suddenly a twisted thought comes across your head: her innocent, aroused face turned you on in such of a wicked way. You always gave her everything without any second thoughts, but maybe you want to listen to her ask for it?
“Honey, you deserve everything from me. But you are going to use your words, say it out loud and I’ll give it to you. Now what do you want from me?” A smirk climbs up to the tip of your lips.
“Hhmph… Oppa, you’re so bad! I… just… please!” Liz’s face turns from a peach into a tomato.
“Oh. Am I the bad one? I thought I was the victim,” you pout with an obviously fake impatience. “I think you are the bad girl that blocked me without a heads up! But it is fine, because I loved you as always… Tell me exactly though, ‘please’ what? Please let go of you so you can shower, right?” You tease.
“Oppa… I hate you! Please… please eat…” She now let’s go of your cock, instead both hands are covering her faces right now. Her face that is so red from the arousal and the embarrassment.
“Please eat a proper meal? Yeah… I’ve been dumping instant noodles into my poor tummy cuz of you, baby Liz? Hmm?” You push one more time.
She snaps. “Ah! Oppaaaa~ Please eat my pussy already! U… use it however you want if it makes you feel better! T…treat me as your cumdump for the night if you wish… (sobs) I am so sorry Oppa…”
You snap too.
You never expected such lewd words would come from the purest girl you had in your life. But you also did not mean to hurt her even more. You’re here to make her feel your love, not to treat her as someone who exists just to fulfill your desires. You don’t want her to feel sorry for you, you just want her to be there. To simply exist.
So, you answer her by gently pulling off her panties down to her ankles and approach her swollen folds slowly. “Liz-ah… I was just kidding… I’ll make you feel really good. I try.”
You plant a soft kiss on Liz’s clit; her hands reach for your head in a blink of an eye. She pulls you closer as you slowly worship her beautiful pussy. Your lips wrap around her clit, sucking it like you’re tasting the cherry on top of a cupcake. The effect is electric, her body shivers faster – you are certain that it is not because of the rain previously, it is purely from arousal.
You insert your tongue into her folds, gently slides it across Liz’s wet, smooth walls. You look up to her. Her doll eyes are already shut from the sensation and her back arches forward to let you take in more of her.
“Look at me baby, look at how I am taking care of you, how I am making you feel good.” You murmur while your mouth is still doing its work – non-stop licking and kissing.
“Mmph…” Liz opens her eyes; you kneel on the bathroom floor while your head is deep between her thighs. The view makes the gap between her breathes shorter and shorter. “Oppa... don’t stop, I am so close!” Your oral movement is nowhere close to a halt, not when your precious Liz asks you like this.
You keep lapping her pussy with nothing but pure hunger and devotion. “C…come for me, Liz-ah… I am always yours.” You encourage.
“Don’t stop! Oppa… don’t you ever stop!” Liz is almost there, her pupils start to dilate and her thighs clamping even tighter.
“Give it all to me Liz… I’ve been waiting, fuck… I missed you so bad. Come for me…” You plant another soft kiss onto her swollen clit, and there it comes.
“F…fuck! I am coming!” Liz reaches her climax; her legs shake violently that she has to hold on to your head to not fall of from the sink. Her pussy flutters, waves of waves of her nectar flooding into your mouth. You take them all in, licking her folds continuously through her orgasm.
You get back up on your feet; legs already numb from the kneeling. But you feel so relaxed because you gave Liz the pleasure, she’s always deserved. She pulls you in for an open mouth kiss, tasting herself from your lips.
Maybe a minute had passed, maybe more. You finally pull back, Liz walks into the shower before embracing her from behind. Liz’s body is still trembling from the aftershocks of her orgasm; her thighs slick not just from the shower but from the way she came so hard on your tongue.
You hold her closer, water streaming down her back, washing away the rain and the days of grief. Her small frame fits perfectly against yours, her wet hair plastered to her shoulders, those big doll eyes half-lidded and glassy with lingering pleasure and fresh tears.
“Oppa…” Liz whispers while turning around, barely audible over the spray. Her fingers trace the fading hickey on your neck, then the scarlet scratches she left on your chest the night she thought she was saying goodbye.
“I was so stupid… I thought I was saving you from me.”
You silence her with a deep kiss, tasting the salt of her tears mixed with the clean heat of the water. “No more thinking, Liz-ah. Just feel me. Let me show you how much I need you.”
Liz reads it. She arches her back forward, hands supporting herself on the door handle. Her full, bouncy butt is on full display. You gulp, already anticipating the long-gone warmth of Liz. You waste no time, lining up your itching cock in front of her folds – still wet from the previous release.
“Liz-ah, I… I am going in, let me know any time if you want me to chance anything.” You nervously make an announcement.
“Give it all to me, Oppa… however you like.” She turns her head around, before biting her bottom lip intentionally to allure you.
And it fucking works.
Her fucking dimple always works, never fail to trap you.
“Liz… you’re fucking gorgeous, do you know that?” You grunt, pushing all the way into her slick pussy in one go. She is incredibly wet, and warm like she had always been. Her walls are clenching onto your twitching length so hard like she’s so scared to ever let you go again.
“Mmph… I missed you Oppa… I missed you in me like this, filling me up really good.” Liz moans softly – she normally wouldn’t talk in sex, but you know she means every word if she does say something.
“Liz-ah, I missed you so much too.” You realize you haven’t released yourself for a week too. And as expected, the urge to do so is incredibly strong thanks to how smooth and velvety Liz feels.
Then you start your thrusting. The shower room is like a sauna right now; the mirror had been fogged up and the view of you slamming into Liz’s body becomes a blur.
You hold on to Liz’s hips as you gradually lose yourself into her wetness and warmth. A few breathy moans escape your throat while you keep pushing in and out of Liz in an almost frantic motion. The gut-wrenching self-pitying and loneliness are replaced by neediness and hunger.
You fuck into her harder, the hot water amplifies the sound of your wet skin slapping onto hers. Liz’s sobs and moans are getting louder at the same time, raw, aroused. “Oppa… just like that, don’t stop please!” Her tone cracks, half from the relief and half from the pleasure after all those empty days.
You lean forward, body pressing again her back. One hand slides up her chest and caresses her tits while the other tightens the grip on her hip. Every thrust is sending ripples through her tiny frame, her ass bounces back against me with each deep stroke.
“Mmph… Liz-ah, you are perfect, so fucking perfect.” You groan against her, kissing her lobe. She whimpers, pushing back harder, her body demanding more. She reaches back, nails scraping your thigh, urging you even deeper.
“I love you… I love you so much, Oppa…” The words tumble out between shaky breaths, her walls fluttering wildly around you. You feel her getting close again, legs trembling, breath coming in short desperate bursts.
You slide your hand down between her legs, rubbing tight circles on her sensitive clit while you keep pounding into her from behind. “Come for me again, baby. Let me feel it.” That’s all it takes.
Liz cries out sharply, her walls pulse violently. Her second wave of climax is doing its work to push you through the finish line with her.
“Liz… I love you…fuck!” You groan, slamming deep one final time. The flood overwhelms your sanity, your cock twitches violently, spilling every drop of your own essence inside her. You keep yourself deep inside her until the mixture of your nectar and her juice leaks out around your cock and running down Liz’s thighs. You stay locked together, panting heavily, her back still pressed to your chest as the water keeps pouring over you both.
Slowly you pull out, turning her gently to face you. Her eyes are glassy, cheeks flushed deep pink, that sweet dimple showing even now. You kiss Liz softly at first, then deeper, holding her tight under the steady spray.
There’s no word needed. You’ve already found your rhythm under the pouring, warm water.
Neither of you want to move as you two enjoy the most perfect moment. Euler’s stupid little formula doesn’t even come close in terms of perfection.
---
A proper shower took place. You took your time washing every inch of your purest angel clean, before wrapping her around with a big towel and kiss your forehead gently. Liz laughs shyly, “Oppa~”
“Hmm?” You raise an eye brow.
“I… I didn’t bring my clothes over, hehehe…” She smiles.
“Ah, that is no problem at all Miss, I shall be right back.”
You walk into your bedroom and open your wardrobe. There is that oversized T-shirt you always let her “borrow” when she stayed over. You return to the bathroom, patiently putting the shirt on Liz’s tiny body. The tip of the shirt even reaches her knees and you cannot stop yourself from laughing. She’s back.
“Stop~ Oppa…” Liz blushes.
“Alright princess… it was a really… tough night. We shall get some rest?” You offer.
“Yes, Oppa.” Liz nods quietly.
To her surprise, you scoop her into your princess carry. Liz keeps laughing, mumbling something like, “Let me down!” or “Are we really doing this?”
She then notices the fading hickey on your neck. She then kisses the mark she left on you last week, bringing your attention back to her.
“Hmm?” You ask.
“The hickey, Oppa. I thought it was a farewell kiss.” Liz says.
“That’s too naïve of you babe, it is a milestone and a new beginning.” You pout, putting her onto your bed.
You fall onto the mattress after her, no more mess, just clean sheets and each other. You pull the duvet over both of you, the fabric still smelling faintly of the laundry detergent you stole from Liz a month ago - a scent you had spent the last week burying your face in while you sobbed.
“Oppa?” she whispers, her voice small and muffled against your skin.
“Yeah, babe?”
“No more skipping meals,” she says, and you feel her grip on your shirt tighten. “I heard everything. I was running, and I was crying, and I was so mad at myself…” Liz looks up, “I thought I was the one distracting you.”
“L…Liz-ah, I… was trying so hard to be someone who can give you everything. But I forgot to be the man that just… loves you with my heart.” You confess with a shaky laugh.
She leans in, her forehead resting against yours.
“Tomorrow,” she whispers, a tired dimple appearing. “We’re going to the market. We’re buying real food. And then... I’m taking you to the shop. I’m making you the biggest boba on the menu, and you’re going to sit there and watch me work, and you aren’t going to think about a single equation. Okay?”
“Okay Liz.” you breathe out, the last of the tension leaving your shoulders.
---
Morning.
The sun does not come out like it is supposed to, like a grand finale of a fiction. But you have Liz still snoring quietly on your side. And that’s enough. That’s more than enough.
You stare at outside of the window, the rain is still going non-stop, the sky is still dim. But you reach out for your phone, unlocking it and go directly into the settings. Your fingers move fast, and a satisfied smirk is on your face.
You put your phone back onto the night stand and hide yourself back under the duvet again.
Your phones are side by side; you tap both of the screens at the same time. The identical picture shows up on the lockscreen.
You.
Liz.
With cat ears.
Colorful this time. The black and white filter is gone.
Maybe you are Liz are each other’s destined special person.
Summary: Your girlfriend is insanely pretty and... that's the problem.
Got the idea from a conversation with @ducktoo, @kwilquib, and @azelfty. Also got some help from @leafostuff. Thank you, guys.
Shoutout to s1mpleducke and my fans who wanted more fromis.
This story is not really edited because otherwise I would have never published it, so sorry for the quality.
Your girlfriend Chaeyoung was stunning. Dating her was a daily lesson in humility. Whenever you went out in public, you could feel the collective “How?” radiating from every person you met. Everyone would look at her like she was royalty and you would look like you were the one who kidnapped her.
You didn’t blame them. She looked like a runway model even while she slept. The messier she was, the more angelic she felt, and she only needed a little effort to look stunning.
But for Chaeyoung, her face was also an insecurity. She was convinced that her incapability of looking cute (which wasn’t true) meant that your parents would never take her seriously.
“They’ll think I’m a rascal,” she’d say, pacing around the apartment. “They will never accept me as your girlfriend. They’ll think I’m just some heartbreaker.”
The anxiety reached an all-time peak in the week leading up to the day she’d meet her parents. By saturday she was an unstable bomb waiting to explode. It was exhausting just watching her. Every time your phone buzzed, she’d rush out convinced it was your mother calling to cancel the day or worse, to interview her over the phone. You tried to soothe her but eventually the sound of her frantic rambling became white noise that lulled you into an accidental nap on her couch.
You had finally awakened from your nap a couple of hours later, thinking she had finally stopped. Stretching your stiff limbs to get rid of the pains of the couch, you got up and looked for some water. You dragged your feet to the kitchen and poured yourself a glass. As you drank, you could hear some rustling from the other side of the hallway.
It sounded like clothes being thrown and beaten. You took a sip and started walking towards it. There was nobody else in the house but your girlfriend so surely it must have been her.
You stopped dead in front of the room and were left with your eyes wide open. There was a giant mountain of clothes on the ground—shirts, pants, dresses flung everywhere, dangling from the shelves and sliding off the edge of the bed. In fact, it was so full that there wasn’t any more space left on the floor, and some stray garments had found their way onto her head.
“Chaeyoung, what are you doing?” you asked, scanning the room to find stuff everywhere.
Your girlfriend blew a stray lock of hair out of her face and sighed. She slouched against the rolling chair, forgetting it was indeed a rolling chair that… rolls, so it just slid off, and she fell down on her back.
“Argh!” she exclaimed and kicked her legs at the pile of clothes out of pure frustration. “I don’t know what to wear!”
“You’re stressed about tomorrow?”
“Of course! Why would I not be?” she shot back.
“Don’t worry, Chae, just wear whatever,” you said, taking another casual sip of your water.
“Oh, it’s so easy to say for you!” she yelled and got back up. “I’ll see how you’ll act when it’s your time to meet my parents.”
“I will just wear a nice shirt,” you commented dryly, which seemed to upset her even more.
She crossed her arms up, her beautiful eyes narrowing at you. “Okay, I’ll try some stuff, and you tell me how it is. Be honest, alright?”
“Alright,” you agreed.
“Go out, let me change,” she said after getting up and pushing you out.
“It’s not like I can see you under that pile of clothes anyway—” you tried to reason before she closed the door.
You went back to the kitchen to put the glass away and came back to stand in front of the door, pacing around and staring at the wall, listening to the muffled sounds of zippers, frustrated groans and the occasional hanger flying into the wall.
As soon as you caught a glimpse of your girlfriend, air completely fled from your lungs. A floor-length, long-sleeved floral dress draped over her frame. The thin fabric had a pure white glow while the red roses painted it with vivid spots of love.
With her sharp, striking features, the simple dress didn’t look plain at all.
“Uhm,” you started, desperately trying to collect your thoughts. “What are you going for here?”
“Sweet girl next door? I look like I make my own butter, it’s perfect,” Chaeyoung said, brushing some strands of her hair behind her ears, an action that revealed itself to be more lethal than she thought.
“The next door must be heaven, because you look like an angel.”
She shot you a mean, angry glare, smoothing her dress on her stomach. “It’s no time for jokes!”
She looked down at the white fabric. “Look at it. It’s basically a tent. It has no shape whatsoever.”
“Well, no, you don’t really look like a ‘sweet girl’, to be honest…”
“Wh-why not?” Chaeyoung said worriedly. To prove her point, she did a stiff, awkward twirl, turning her back to you. “It’s just a cylinder.”
As she turned, the supposedly shapeless fabric caught on the curve of her hips. The thin, silky material draped right over the butt, clinging just enough to perfectly accentuate the exact shape of it. She looked like the breathtaking, painfully pretty heroine of a historical drama—specifically designed to ruin men’s lives.
All the teasing died in your throat. You just stood there in the hallway, opening and closing your mouth like a dumb fish out of water.
“It looks conservative,” she continued, looking over her shoulder at you. “Your mom will definitely think I’m—”
Chaeyoung stopped and saw your still expression aimed at her lower half. Her eyes narrowed. She turned around and saw her reflection in the full-length mirror behind her.
“Oh, you must be kidding me,” she groaned. She reached back and desperately tried to puff out the fabric, but as soon as she let go, they settled right back onto her curves. “Why is it doing that?”
“I… uh…” you mumbled.
“Don’t even say it,” she said, raising her index at you.
“It’s not going to work. You’re still way too pretty.”
“Ugh! Okay, let’s do another one.”
She stomped back into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her, leaving you alone in the hallway to recover.
A few minutes later, she stepped out, and your brain entirely short-circuited. You could pretty much hear the cables in your brain frying, sizzling, popping, while smoke poured out of your ears.
She was in a suit. It was a whole look. She was wearing her black stockings that drew attention to the length of her legs, partially covered by a sharp pencil skirt, and ended with a crisp white button-down shirt and a loosely tied necktie.
At this point, you were drooling.
“So?” she asked, putting her hands on her hips and tilting her head.
“I would so fuck the shit out of you.”
“Oh my god!” She threw her hands in the air, causing the tight shirt to pull against her chest. “You can’t stay serious.”
You were truly, in all honesty and with maximum effort, trying to stay serious. This was your way of remaining grounded and sane. Actually, you were lucky she didn’t put on any makeup because that would have been the end of you. Her face was totally bare, her hair messy from the outfit changes, if she had paired the suit with red lips? Yeah would be on the floor.
“Chae, there’s no way you actually tried with this one. Are you doing it on purpose? Is this a test?”
“What’s so bad?” she whined, stomping her foot, in a strangely cute manner, which only confused your brain more. “I’m trying to look like a banker. So your mom can take me seriously. Do I look serious?”
“You look… you do look serious.” You swallowed hard, your eyes darting down to her stockings and then right back up to her face. “Uhm. Like one of those serious, confident, sexy secretaries who blackmail the CEO.”
“Fuck you. I’m throwing this out.” She grabbed the collar of her shirt, ready to rip it off.
“No, no, no, no, please!” you pleaded, lunging forward with zero dignity and grabbing her hands. “It looks too good! I didn’t even know you had any of this! Please, you have to wear it again for me later! I am literally begging you.”
“Fine! Fine! Get off me, you weirdo!” she huffed. Despite her tone and eye roll, a blush crept up her cheek. She liked the compliment, even if it completely ruined her plan. She placed her hands flat against your chest and shoved you back out into the hallway.
“Sorry,” you stated, going back to your stupid, stiff stance like a dog waiting at the door.
“I can go for something more casual.”
“Sure.”
When the door opened for the third time, she emerged wearing a mustard-yellow cardigan and a matching shell top, buttoned up to her very collarbone. It was paired with a longer skirt, and to tie the whole thing together, she had put on a pair of thick-rimmed reading glasses.
You were already a sucker for girls in glasses, but seeing them on your girlfriend's perfect nose was a lethal combination.
She pushed the frames up her nose. “This way she can think I’m smart, right? I look like a librarian.”
“We’re not getting any reading done with you dressed like that.”
“Gosh, not even this?!” She groaned, dragging a hand down her face. “It’s cute! It’s completely covered up!”
“No, Chae. It’s incredibly hot.”
“I even buttoned it all the way up.”
“You can hide your chest, but you can’t hide those curves,” you say, gesturing to her waist.
“Fuck, I really need to dumb this down.”
She retreated for the fourth time. When she returned, she was wearing a pastel pink polo shirt tucked stiffly into a pair of pleated khaki pants.
“Come on now,” she pleaded, gesturing to herself. “This is the standard suburban mom outfit. Your mom will take one look at me and think I’m the perfect, boring wife.”
“Mom, yeah. Milf, definitely.”
“What!”
“You did not dumb it down. Y-you look like a model from Vogue, where did you even get this?”
“I got it from the thrift shop!” she cried, looking genuinely distressed.
“It must be you then,” you sighed. “You make everything look good.”
“I give up!”
She disappeared into the bedroom one last time. For her final trick, she didn’t even bother with her own clothes. Instead, she chose one of your sweaters that she stole a long time ago. It was an old chunky knit sweater and a perfectly standard pair of blue jeans.
She didn’t try to style it but the sweater naturally draped in a way that was effortlessly chic, showing a hint of her collarbone. The jeans hugged her hips perfectly. She was comfortably, naturally gorgeous.
Defeated, Chaeyoung gave you a slow, lifeless spin and then slumped sideways against the doorframe, letting her head thunk against the wood.
“This is it. I surrender,” she sighed, her voice small. “This is the most boring clothing in the apartment, and it’s still not enough. Your mom is going to take one look at me and think I’m a rascal who’s going to ruin her son’s life.”
You softened and smiled. You stepped closer, gently reaching out to brush the stressed hair out of her face.
“You look beautiful, Chaeyoung.”
She looked up at you through her eyelashes, her sultry eyes genuinely vulnerable. “But do I look respectable?”
“You look adorable,” you murmured, leaning in to press a soft kiss to her forehead. “Don’t worry so much. Actually, my mom is really into fashion; she’s probably going to love your normal clothes. And besides... You know my dad actively chooses to wear socks with his sandals, right?”
Chaeyoung giggled.
-
You didn’t really get much sleep last night. She kept nervously pacing around your room and asking you endless questions about what your parents liked, what they hated, and what shoes she should wear.
Eventually, she did run out of energy and went to sleep, cuddled deeply by your side. She looked relaxed and didn’t seem to have any worries left.
You were dead wrong.
It was 5 AM when a sharp noise jolted you awake. You blinked and looked around in the darkness, disoriented. It wasn’t just the noise; you were sure you could smell something burnt in the air. It smelled somewhat like sugar? But there was something off about it.
You moved your arm to check on her, only to find the sheets cold and her side of the bed completely empty. Mind you, it was a sunday so there was no logical reason for your girlfriend to be up. You cursed under your breath and got up to check what was going on.
You followed the faint glow coming out of the kitchen, with the strong scent. When you turned the corner, you stopped dead in your tracks. You couldn’t believe your eyes. There was flour all smeared across the counters and tables, and even the floor. Tons of used bowls were towering precariously in the sink. They weren’t even scraped clean, some of them had big globs of heavy drooping batter dripping from their sides.
And standing in the center of the kitchen, was Chaeyoung.
She was still in her cute pyjama with the bears but was wearing a pink apron. Her hair was lazily tied up in a messy bun, with strands falling into her face, and a streak of flour smeared across her cheekbone. Of course, there was stuff all over her apron as well with mysterious stains and wet spots.
She didn’t notice you. She was standing there, hands on her hips, staring directly into the oven door.
“Chae?” you asked, groaning, “What are you doing?”
She lightly jumped and squeaked when she heard your voice. She didn’t really expect you to be awake. Her eyes saw you, then darted at her mess and back to you. She straightened her back, trying to look a little more dignified.
“I’m making cookies,” she announced, letting her voice pitch up from the nervous laughter. “Your mom said she loves sweets. And it’s well known that great women can cook. So your mom will think I’m the perfect wife material for her son when she sees what I baked from scratch.”
“You really don’t have to—”
The oven timer interrupted you. Chaeyoung gasped and in a panic, scrambled to get a pair of oven mitts. She yanked the oven door open, releasing a dense cloud of gray smoke. Coughing, she reached into the fog and pulled out the baking sheet.
She slammed the hot metal tray on the stovetop, waving the smoke away with her hand and stepped aside to look at her masterpiece.
It was a total disaster.
Instead of individual cookies, they were half-melted into each other, forming one big mega-cookie. The edges were completely charred while the center was inexplicably pale and shiny. You weren’t sure how that would be possible. There was no physical explanation for what you were saying.
Chaeyoung stared at the pan. Slowly, her shoulders slumped. She buried her face in her hands.
“Look at them,” she whispered. “They’re terrible, just like me.”
“Hey, come on,” you said softly, carefully stepping over a puddle of milk. “They aren’t that bad,” you said and patted her back, kissing the top of her head.
“Your parents will hate me,” she mumbled into her hands. “I can’t even make cookies. I’m a disaster.”
“They are not going to hate you,” you said casually. To prove your point, you reached out and broke off a piece of the cookie slop.
“Don’t eat that,” she warned you, grabbing your wrist. “You’ll die.”
“Nah, it’s fine,” you said with a brave smile, tossing it into your mouth.
Your teeth crunched through bitter charcoal, followed immediately by the squishy, gooey texture of raw flour and wet egg. You forced a smile, chewing rapidly to make it end, and swallowed hard. You could feel it dragging its way down your throat.
“Mmmh,” you managed to hum, nodding aggressively. “Wow. Incredible. Delicious.”
Chaeyoung looked at you with a deeply unimpressed, cute grumpy face. “You’re lying. You look like you’re in pain.”
“I am,” you admitted, reaching for a glass of water to wash it away. You took a big gulp and finally exhaled when the foreign object was gone.
You looked back to her and wiped some flour off her face. “But I love that you tried. I know you care a lot.”
“You know what?” you said, squeezing her hand. “Let’s clean this… mess, and we’ll buy something at the bakery. We can just put it in our dish and say you made it.”
Chaeyoung looked up at you, letting a small smile break through her disappointment.
“You’d lie to your mother for me?”
“Of course,” you laughed. “Come here,” you tell her and open your arms.
“You’ll get all dirty, I’m covered in flour.”
“Who cares,” you mumbled as you wrapped Chaeyoung in your cocoon. Your girlfriend closed your eyes and exhaled with a defeated smile. She brought her hands around your back and melted into you.
It was alright. Chaeyoung could feel it in the way you held her. She didn’t realize how much she missed it until she felt your arms around her and realized how silly it was.
When you let her go, she couldn’t look you in the eyes.
That was the adorable Chaeng you knew. Even though she looked so cold and confident, she was just a soft girl after all.
“Look at you, you’re all white.”
“Well, we’re a couple, we need matching outfits, don’t we?”
Chaeyoung giggled and shoved you. “You’re so dumb.”
You stepped back, surveying the disaster zone while the mega cookie sat on the stove. “Okay,” you said, rolling up your sleeves, “we should start cleaning.”
Chaeyoung moved toward the sink. “It won’t come off,” she hissed, leaning her weight into the spatula as she tried to pry the charred mass from the tray. A sharp clack echoed through the kitchen as the spatula broke clean. “Fuck it,” she scoffed and threw the remaining piece of the spatula into the sink.
“Come on, get the trash bag. We have to throw it at the waste disposal site. They have to burn it. You never know if it could become sentient.”
She let out a dry, exhausted chuckle and got the flour and trash into the bag. While you scraped and scrubbed, she began wiping down the counters. At one point, she stopped, staring at a particularly stubborn stain.
“I really thought I could do it,” she whispered. “I thought if I could make something nice, your mom would see it and forget that I look like… well, this.”
“A goddess?” I offered, sliding the last of the burnt evidence into the bin.
She shot me a look that was half-pout, half-glare. “A heartbreaker. A rascal. Someone who doesn't know how to take care of her son.”
“Trust me, after they see how I live, they’ll realize you’re the one doing the heavy lifting.”
You got down on your hands and knees, grabbing the floor rag to try to remove the sticky slurry near the baseboards. Looking at it, you probably needed some kind of industrial solvent to really get those out.
You were still scrubbing the floor with that dirty rug when Chaeyoung found the courage to speak up. She took a deep breath and momentarily put the bowls down. She stared at the reflections in the water, where a thousand distorted versions of her face shimmered in the bubbles.
“Everyone thinks I’m just ‘the pretty girl,” she started. “It was all fun when I was in high school, although boys were too afraid to ask me out. But when I grew up, girls would say all kinds of things.”
“They were jealous?” you said.
“I think so, or they had the wrong idea. It’s not like I was doing anything for attention.”
You put the rag down and sat back, looking back at Chaeyoung. The cheap lighting of the kitchen showed all the rough parts of her. She was tired and dishevelled, but there was a tenderness that you had never felt. An angel was shedding her wings in front of you, molting her white feathers to reveal the skin and bone beneath.
“It must be so nice to have a job where you just have to look nice for cameras all day. That’s what they would say,” Chae sighed. “I had to work really hard to prove I was capable.”
“But you are,” you said. “You’re smart. You’re capable. You’re… incredible, and you know it. People are just judgmental.”
“Even then. It’s like I’m just a trophy. You know my ex?”
You raised an eyebrow. “That guy? What did he do?”
“Well, I kinda told you about it, but I don’t think he really liked me. He would never listen to me. I think he just wanted to boast to his friends about me.”
“Yeah, he was an asshole.”
“I was careful about boys afterwards,” Chaeyoung said and sat down under the sink. She hugged her knees and stared at the floor. “About people, in general.”
You scooted closer to her, sitting with her against the kitchen counters.
“The people that mattered didn’t take me seriously, while random people would always harass me,” she confessed. “It’s like I’m just a face.”
Your right hand slipped on top of hers, and you held it there, so she wouldn’t fly away into her thoughts. Chaeyoung instinctively leaned into your shoulder.
“I always knew you were a great person, Chaeyoung. Since the first time I met you,” you said. “Maybe it was because people projected their own personalities onto you, you did all you could to let people know who you were. You were so caring, so bright, so genuine.”
Chae turned her head to look at you as you talked with shiny eyes.
“More than anyone else, you were just you. You laughed like it was the first time you ever did. You were honest, but always so kind and gentle with everyone.”
You took Chae’s face in your hands and looked straight into her eyes. “You are beautiful. You know it; you were blessed with beauty. But it’s not just on your skin, but rather in your soul. Every day, I can’t think about anyone but you. There’s nothing like the first time I hear your voice, and the day just becomes better. Looking at your beauty is an experience, but living with you gives me purpose.”
Chae started tearing up and sniffling.
“Aww, no, crybaby,” you said and snorted.
She let out a jagged breath, a sob catching in her throat. “Why do you have to say shit like that now?” she hiccuped, her laugh breaking through the tears. “You’re always so dumb.”
“Want me to go back?”
“Shut up or you’ll ruin it,” Chaeyoung hiccuped. “I fucking love you.”
Chae leaned in to kiss you, and you accepted her salty lips. It was the most delicate kiss you ever gave her. She was so fragile right now that you were scared you would hurt her.
Your girlfriend finally laughed.
“Alright, I feel better now, it will be okay,” Chaeyoung said.
“That’s the spirit, princess,” you said and brought your hand up to pat her head. She closed her eyes and giggled, enjoying your touch.
-
“Let’s get that cake,” Chaeyoung said, pointing at the glass. She was pointing at the lemon chiffon masterpiece topped with gold leaf and spun sugar. There were all sorts of nice drawings made with buttercream, yeah, no way.
“Respectfully, that cake looks a bit too nice, no offense.”
“Offense taken, that’s wildly disrespectful, what are you implying?” she said sternly.
“We don’t want to give her expectations that high, do we?”
She looked back at the golden cake, then at the rustic strawberry tart in the corner. She let out a long, defeated sigh. “You’re right…”
-
You were finally in front of your parents’ house.
You turned the engine off and were going to leave the car, but Chaeyoung didn’t seem to move. She was in her passenger side with the sun visor flipped down, staring intensely into the small mirror. She flashed a wide, overly enthusiastic, toothy grin. She held it for two seconds before her face fell flat.
“Looks weird,” she muttered to herself. “How does Hayoung do this?”
She took a deep breath, adjusting her sweater, and tried again. This time, she kept her mouth closed, giving the mirror a softer expression.
“Too formal,” she whispered, sighing heavily.
You leaned across your seat. “Chae, what exactly are you doing?”
“I’m practicing my smile,” she said without breaking eye contact with the mirror. “First impressions are everything, you know? I have to greet them properly.”
“You’re overthinking it,” you chuckled, reaching over to flip the visor back up. She pouted at you. “You don’t need it. You have a great smile. Just be the girl I fell in love with, they’ll love you too.”
“Heh,” she complained, finally clicking her seatbelt open. She glanced down at the bakery box sitting on her lap. “Do you think she’ll know these are from the bakery?”
“Nah, she won’t know. They’re in a plate.” You reached over and gave her a reassuring pat on her shoulder. “It will be fine, I promise.”
“Okay, fine,” she nodded.
You both got out of the car and walked up to the house door. You knocked, and the door quickly swung open. Your mother stood in the doorway, a floral apron tied around her waist and a wooden spoon still clutched in one hand.
She froze.
Her eyes immediately locked onto Chaeyoung. She took in your girlfriend’s perfectly styled hair, her elegant but understated outfit, and the warm, genuinely sweet smile that Chaeyoung managed to produce.
Then, very slowly, your mother's gaze drifted over to you. She looked you up and down, her expression shifting from absolute awe to profound, undisguised confusion.
"Mom?" you prompted, shifting a little awkwardly under her scrutiny. "This is Chaeyoung."
Your mother finally blinked, snapping out of her trance.
"You’re gorgeous, dear," your mother said to Chaeyoung. “Why on earth would you choose this monkey of my son?”
“Come on, Mom, why would you say that?” you said. “Don’t you love your son?”
“I do love you, son, but compared to her…” she said, turning her head to Chaeyoung and offering her hand.
“I’m pleased to meet you, ma’am.”
“Oh, please call me Mom, you’re part of the family now,” your mom smiled brightly. “Is he treating you right? Do I need to talk to him?”
“No, Mom, he’s treating me really well, don’t worry.”
“See?” you said proudly, “I’m a good boyfriend.”
“I know she’s just being,” she said and stepped to the side, inviting both of you to come inside.
‘So far so good’, Chaeyoung thought as she stepped into the living room. You quickly went to the kitchen to put the food down while your girlfriend explored the space. To you, it all seemed familiar, but it was all new to her.
Unfortunately for you, the living room was riddled with photos of when you were younger, and your mom was really eager to talk about them.
“How old was he in this photo?”
“I think he was… 5?” your mom guessed, taking the picture frame from the wall. She handed it to your girlfriend, and the two scanned the embarrassing photo. You were riding around a toy car, and you probably were missing some teeth.
“He used to be really cute when he was little,” your mom said. “Oh, how fast they grow up. Now he’s just a brute.”
“Right!” Chaeyoung exclaimed. “How was he when he was little? Was he extroverted?”
“He kinda was. He used to do everything I told him and made friends pretty easily.”
“What about this one?” Chaeyoung said, pointing at the photo on the chimney frame.
“Oh, this one.” Your mom took that frame as well and handed it to your girlfriend. You weren’t alone in this picture. There seemed to be a girl right next to you. Judging by how you looked, it must have been around the time you started elementary school. Both of you had missing teeth and had very colorful clothes.
“They’re holding hands,” Chaeyoung mentioned, brushing her index finger on the glass.
“Oh, yeah, that was his first girlfriend. One day, he came home with that girl and said she was the prettiest girl he had ever seen.”
“That must have been fun.”
“No, I was so worried! I had to call her parents and explain why she didn’t come home,” your mom said. “And all of that for him to forget her a couple of days later.”
Chaeyoung and your mom continued to laugh and chat while watching your photos. It wasn’t much later that she decided to pull out the big folder with the child photos of when you were playing with Legos or learning to walk. To hell with not trusting Chae, your mom was telling her all your secrets and dark stories. She didn’t care a single bit.
“Oh, look at this one, Chaeyoung,” your mom cooed, pointing to a Polaroid of you aged four, wearing nothing but a diaper and a colander on your head like a helmet, pointing a wooden spoon at a dog. “He thought he was a knight and refused to take his helmet off for a week.”
Chaeyoung let out a sound that was half-giggle, half-gasp, her eyes darting from the photo to you and back. “That’s so cute.”
“Mom! When will we eat?” you shouted from the kitchen.
“Oh, right!” your mom exclaimed and hurried to put the albums away into the closet. Your girlfriend helped her and then went into the kitchen as well.
Your dad was still under the sink with tools in his hands. He partially slid out to take a look at your girlfriend.
“Oh, Chaeyoung, right?” he asked.
“Ah, yes, sir—dad.”
“Attaboy that’s my son!” he exclaimed, lightly kicking your foot. “Chaeyoung, pass me the flashlight.”
“R-right away!” she stumbled and looked around for the tool.
“It’s on the table.”
“Okay, here.”
“Can you turn it on and hold it there?”
“Of course,” she said and crouched down to help your dad. She turned it on and illuminated the area where he was working. Of course, she had no idea what he trying to see so she did her best.
“Steady on the light, Chae,” your dad grunted as he was trying to turn the joining with his greasy hands.
“Like this?” she asked softly, pointing the beat to his wrench. He kept her there for a couple of minutes as he wrestled under the sink until everything was tight and fixed. Your girlfriend felt a bit disgusted by the dirtiness that was around the area, especially the grey water. But it also meant that your dad didn’t really care about how she looked and it made her feel better.
When he was done, he slipped out on the floor and got up with a heavy grunt. “Leak’s plugged,” he announced, dusting off his knees.
“Thank you,” he muttered. “My son would have dropped the light in the water, can’t trust him with nothing.”
“I’m right here,” you shouted from the stove.
“So?” he replied and laughed.
With that done, you started to prepare the table outside for lunch. You carried the stack of plates into the dining room. The heavy oak table had already been cleared, its surface reflecting the soft light from the overhead lamp. You laid out the mismatched silverware and a stack of paper napkins while Chaeyoung followed behind, carefully placing the bakery tart in the center.
One by one, the rest of the family filed in, pulling the heavy chairs across the hardwood until everyone was settled in their usual spots.
“My son showed me some of your photos, you really know how to dress, dear,” your Mom commented while getting some food onto her plate.
“He did?!” Chaeyoung exclaimed and elbowed your side. It wasn’t a soft one; she put a hole in your body.
You coughed up some of your food.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she whispered. “I spent hours getting dress and you already showed her everything?”
“Well, you looked good in everything, I told you.”
Chaeyoung hit you again. “If you told me, I wouldn’t have been so worried. You’re such an idiot.”
“I’m really into fashion, I think we’ll get along,” your Mom said.
“Oh, I see, you read magazines?” Chaeyoung said, putting on a bright, friendly smile like she didn’t just beat you.
“I also watch programs on TV. Oh, Dad here really doesn’t know how to dress, you have to help me.”
“I understand you.”
“Right, like father like son. They both dress terribly.”
“What?” your dad said while munching. “I put on the nicest shirt I had.”
“Yeah, what’s wrong with me?” you said.
“You see what I’ve had to deal with, Chaeyoung?” your mom sighed, gesturing with her wine glass toward the two men at the table.
“He did try,” Chaeyoung admitted. “But apparently, he likes wrinkled clothes. I had to physically take the iron out of the closet myself.”
“You ironed for him?” your mom gasped, placing a hand over her heart. “Oh, darling, don't start that. You'll spoil him.”
The two women kept going back and forth, talking about their interests and commenting on how incompetent their men were at cleaning or dressing well. You two ate quietly, every once in a while talking about sports or just staring at each other.
The day ended with a trunk full of leftovers. As you pulled the car out of the driveway, Chaeyoung leaned her head back against the headrest and let out a long sigh she had been holding the entire time.
"They liked me," she whispered, as if she still couldn't believe it.
"They loved you, Chae. I told you."
"Your mom called you a monkey," she giggled, turning her head to look at you. The streetlights flickered across her face, catching the exhaustion and the lingering glow of success. She reached across to hold your hand.
“And to think you kept me awake just to bake that cookie monster.”
"Shut up," she murmured, closing her eyes. "Just drive, monkey."
Leeseo x Y/N
Leeseo is an Art major struggling to find the perfect "muse" for her final portfolio project. Y/N is a student who always studies in the same quiet, corner of the university library. Leeseo has been sitting a few tables away, secretly sketching Y/N one afternoon gets up and catch a glimpse of leeseo sketchbook
SKETCHES OF U
IVE Leeseo X Male Reader
10K WORDS COUNTED
—
The final year studio was quieter than usual that afternoon.
Not silent, because an art classroom was never really silent. There was always the soft scrape of charcoal against paper, the click of easels being adjusted, the rustle of sketchbooks opening and closing, and the occasional sigh from students who were already tired just hearing the words final project. But the room carried a different kind of weight that day. A heavier one.
Leeseo sat near the back, her fingers lightly gripping the edge of her notebook while her lecturer stood in front of the class with a stack of printed guidelines.
Sunlight spilled through the tall windows in pale strips, falling across paint stained floors and unfinished canvases leaned against the walls. The whole studio smelled faintly of acrylic, paper, and coffee that had long gone cold.
"Your final year portfolio," Professor Han said, setting the papers down on the desk at the front, "is not just a collection of technically good work."
A few students straightened in their seats.
Leeseo did too.
Professor Han looked around the room, his eyes moving from one face to another as if he wanted every single student to feel personally called out.
"I have seen your studies. I have seen your practice sketches. I know all of you can draw. Some of you can draw very well." He paused. "That is not enough."
A few groans sounded around the room.
He ignored them.
"For your final project, I want a portfolio centered around a subject that matters to you. A subject that draws out sincerity. I do not want something distant. I do not want something chosen because it is easy or pretty. I want intention. I want observation. I want emotion."
Leeseo lowered her eyes to her notebook, quickly writing the words down.
Subject that matters to you.
Intention.
Observation.
Emotion.
The words looked simple enough on paper. They felt much harder in her chest.
Professor Han continued, "Your project should show growth across the semester. Research, rough studies, development sketches, and final pieces. By the end, I should understand not only what you chose, but why you chose it."
He started walking slowly between the rows of desks.
"If you pick something meaningless, it will show."
That made Leeseo press her lips together.
She had already spent weeks worrying about this project before it had even been officially assigned. Everyone around her seemed to have ideas. One classmate wanted to explore memory through family portraits. Another wanted to focus on urban loneliness. Someone in the front had apparently already started photographing old train stations for mixed media references.
And Leeseo?
Leeseo had nothing.
She liked drawing people. Faces, hands, postures, small details. She liked the challenge of catching a moment before it disappeared. But liking people as subjects was not the same as having a subject that mattered.
Professor Han returned to the front and handed the first row their project sheets.
"You have until the end of the semester. Your first proposal is due next week. Do not wait until inspiration magically appears. Go find it."
A collective shuffle moved through the room as papers were passed back.
When Leeseo got hers, she stared at the neatly printed brief, but the words blurred together after the first few lines. Her heart had already started sinking.
Go find it.
That sounded simple too.
Except she had no idea where to begin.
—
After class ended, students gathered in little clusters to complain, compare ideas, and panic together. Leeseo packed her things more slowly than usual, sliding her pencils into her case one by one.
"Leeseo."
She looked up quickly.
Professor Han was standing beside her desk, one hand in his pocket, the other holding a student file.
"Yes, professor?"
He gave her a mild look. "Your draft work this semester has been strong. Very strong, actually. But sometimes your pieces feel careful."
Careful.
Leeseo nodded, though she was not sure whether that was a compliment or not.
"You observe well," he said. "But I think you hold yourself back. For this final project, I want to see what happens when you stop drawing what you think you should draw."
Her fingers tightened around the strap of her bag.
"I understand."
"I think you do." His expression softened just a little. "Find something that unsettles you a bit. Something that makes you curious. That is usually where the best work begins."
He moved on to speak to another student, leaving Leeseo standing there with her project sheet and a strange, nervous feeling in her stomach.
Something that makes you curious.
By the time she left the building, the sky outside had turned soft and golden. Students crossed the campus in clumps, some laughing, some half asleep, some already carrying too many books for one person.
Leeseo walked without rushing, her bag resting against her side, sketchbook pressed to her chest.
The university library rose at the end of the main path, broad and quiet and familiar. She had spent more hours there than she wanted to admit. Usually in the art section or by the upper floor windows where it was easier to think. Easier to breathe.
If the studio felt too loud, the library always felt like a place where her thoughts could settle.
She climbed the steps and slipped inside.
Cool air brushed against her face. The scent of old books and clean paper wrapped around her at once. Students filled the lower floors, but the upper levels were calmer. She headed up out of habit, climbing to one of the quieter corners she liked most.
And then, before she could even turn properly into the aisle near the windows, she saw him.
He was there again.
At the same table.
In the same corner.
Y/N.
Leeseo slowed without meaning to.
She did not know his name, not really, not yet. Not in the way people knew each other. She only knew him as the boy who was often there when she came to the library on weekday afternoons. The one who always chose the seat by the window as if he belonged to that patch of sunlight. The one who stacked his books neatly, lined up his pens, and studied with an almost unfair level of concentration.
He looked like someone who took everything seriously.
Today he wore a simple dark sweater with the sleeves pushed up to his forearms. His hair was slightly messy, like he had run a hand through it too many times while reading. There was a cup of coffee near his elbow and a thick book open in front of him, full of highlighted lines and sticky tabs.
He was frowning a little at the page.
Not in an angry way.
In a focused way.
Leeseo's grip on her sketchbook tightened.
For a second, she forgot her project sheet was even in her bag.
He was probably from another department. Maybe literature, maybe law, maybe something else entirely. She had seen him enough times to recognize his routine, but not enough to know anything real about him. He always came alone. He always sat there for hours. Sometimes he leaned back and rubbed his eyes. Sometimes he tapped his pen lightly against the table while reading. Sometimes the afternoon light fell across his face in a way that made him look less like a student and more like something from a painting she would have torn out of a reference book.
Leeseo looked away quickly before he could somehow feel her staring.
Her ears felt warm.
She moved to a table a few rows over, one that gave her a clear view without being too obvious. At least she hoped it was not too obvious.
She sat down and pulled out her own things, trying very hard to act normal.
Notebook.
Textbook.
Pencil case.
Sketchbook.
She told herself she would think about the project. She would brainstorm. She would write down possible themes and subjects and ideas and anything remotely useful.
Instead, five minutes later, her eyes drifted back to him.
He had turned a page.
That was all.
And yet she kept watching.
There was something about the way he existed in that little corner of the library that pulled at her attention. He did not seem to try to stand out. If anything, he looked like the type of person who preferred not to be noticed. But Leeseo noticed everything.
The angle of his wrist as he wrote.
The small crease between his brows when he concentrated.
The way he paused before underlining a sentence, as if making sure the thought was worth keeping.
Observation.
Emotion.
Curiosity.
Professor Han's words came back to her all at once.
Something that makes you curious.
Leeseo looked down at her blank page, then at the boy by the window, then back at her page again.
Her heart started beating faster.
No.
Absolutely not.
That would be ridiculous.
She did not know him.
She had never spoken to him.
And yet, before she could fully talk herself out of it, she opened her sketchbook to a clean page.
"Just one rough study", she told herself.
Only for practice.
Only because he was there and the lighting was good and she needed to draw something, anything, before she lost her mind over this project.
Her pencil hovered for a second, then touched paper.
The first lines were light. Quick. Just the shape of his posture, the slope of his shoulders as he leaned over the table. The curve of his hand around his pen. She worked carefully, glancing up, then back down, then up again.
Her breath slowed.
That was the dangerous thing about drawing. Once she started, the rest of the world blurred around the edges. Her nerves quieted. Her thoughts arranged themselves through lines and shadows and form. The pressure in her chest eased with every mark she made.
He shifted slightly, resting his cheek against one hand.
Leeseo's pencil moved faster.
There.
That angle.
That expression.
A strand of hair falling a little closer to his eyes.
It was not perfect. It was just a sketch. Barely more than a study. But when she leaned back to look at it, she felt something small and bright in her chest.
Interest.
Not forced. Not artificial.
Real.
She looked up at him again.
As if on instinct, Y/N lifted his head too.
Leeseo froze.
Her eyes widened and she immediately dropped her gaze to her sketchbook, pretending with all her strength that she had been very deeply invested in drawing absolutely anything else in the world.
Her heart pounded so loudly she was sure it could be heard across the room.
She did not look up again for a full minute.
When she finally gathered the courage to glance in his direction, he had already gone back to reading.
Leeseo let out a breath she had been holding.
That was close.
Very close.
Maybe too close.
Still, she did not close the sketchbook.
—
Across the room, Y/N tried very hard to focus on the paragraph in front of him.
He had read the same line at least four times.
He knew this because the words had started losing all meaning.
It was not entirely his fault.
Leeseo was in the library.
Again.
He noticed her the moment she walked in, though he pretended not to.
That had become his unfortunate specialty.
Pretending not to notice her while noticing everything.
He had first seen her weeks ago crossing the courtyard with a portfolio tube under one arm and paint stains on her sleeve. Since then, she had started appearing in places he already liked. The library. The campus café near the humanities building. Once outside the convenience store, holding two bananas and a sketch pad, which had been weirdly cute for reasons he did not care to examine too deeply.
He did not know her personally. He only knew of her in the fragile, embarrassing way people sometimes know someone from afar. Through sightings. Through habits. Through details collected silently.
He knew she was probably an art student because she always carried sketchbooks and sometimes had pencil marks on the side of her hand.
He knew she tucked her hair behind her ear when she was reading.
He knew she often sat near windows.
He knew she had a serious face when she was concentrating, but every now and then, when she looked at something that interested her, her whole expression changed. Softer. Brighter.
He knew all this while knowing absolutely nothing useful.
Like her name.
Though he had heard someone call her Leeseo once outside one of the campus buildings, and he had repeated it quietly to himself later just to make sure he remembered.
He should probably feel ashamed of that.
A little.
Maybe a lot.
Y/N stared at his notes and tried to act like his heart had not sped up the moment he saw her take a table nearby.
He had imagined talking to her before.
Just simple things.
Is this seat taken?
Do you need a charger?
You dropped your pencil.
Normal human conversation.
Yet every time the opportunity seemed to appear, he somehow became the least normal version of himself. Too aware. Too stiff. Too worried he would sound awkward or bother her or make it obvious that he had definitely noticed her long before they had ever spoken.
Today should have been easier.
The library was quiet. She was close enough that, if he was braver, he could maybe say something when they both got up for coffee.
Instead, he kept his eyes on his book and tried not to think about the fact that she was only a few tables away.
At one point he looked up by accident.
She was drawing.
He could not see what.
Only that her head was slightly lowered, her pencil moving in short, careful strokes. There was a kind of peace in the way she worked that made him look away almost immediately, feeling strangely like he had interrupted something private.
His chest felt light and stupid.
He liked seeing her there.
That was the truth.
The library had always been one of his favorite places on campus, but her presence changed the room in a way he did not know how to explain. Everything seemed softer when she was around. Or maybe he was just being ridiculous.
Probably that.
Still, when he reached for his coffee and found the cup already empty, he took it as an excuse to stand up before his thoughts got any worse.
He pushed his chair back carefully, trying not to make noise.
Across the room, Leeseo heard it.
Her pencil stopped mid line.
She watched from the corner of her eye as Y/N stood, stretching slightly before picking up his empty cup. He looked taller when he was not folded over a desk. For one very unhelpful second, Leeseo forgot how to breathe again.
Was he leaving?
No. He was probably just going to throw the cup away.
Good.
That was good.
That meant she had time to close the sketchbook.
She should close the sketchbook.
Immediately.
Instead, panic made her freeze for exactly the wrong amount of time.
Y/N started walking past her table, taking what was probably the shortest route to the trash bin near the shelves.
Leeseo's eyes widened.
No, no, no.
Her sketchbook was still open.
Open.
With a half finished pencil drawing of him very clearly visible on the page.
Her hands moved too late.
By the time she reached for it, he was already beside her table.
And then he slowed.
Just slightly.
Just enough.
His eyes flickered downward.
Leeseo felt the whole world stop.
Her face went hot all at once. She shut the sketchbook so fast the sound made her flinch, then clutched it to her chest like that would somehow erase what he had already seen.
"I can explain," she whispered instantly, even though that was a terrible way to begin explaining anything.
Y/N blinked.
He still held the empty coffee cup in one hand. Up close, he looked startled, but not upset. Mostly surprised. Very surprised.
Leeseo wanted the floor to open and swallow her.
"I mean," she said, her voice somehow getting smaller, "it is not what it looks like."
The moment the words left her mouth, she realized that was worse.
Much worse.
Because it looked exactly like what it was.
She had been sketching him in secret like some kind of library stalker.
Her fingers curled tighter around the sketchbook. "Actually, maybe it is a little what it looks like, but not in a weird way."
Why would she say that?
Why?
Y/N stared at her for half a second.
Then, to her complete confusion, the corners of his mouth lifted.
Not a laugh. Not mocking.
Just a soft, surprised smile.
"It was a good drawing," he said quietly.
Leeseo looked at him as if he had started speaking another language.
"What?"
He glanced at the sketchbook pressed against her chest, then back at her face. His own ears were faintly pink now. "From what I saw."
That somehow made everything worse in a different way.
Because now he was being nice.
Leeseo opened and closed her mouth once before words finally came back. "I am really sorry. I should have asked. I just..." She looked down, mortified. "I needed to sketch people for practice."
That part was true.
Just not the whole truth.
Y/N shifted his weight, still standing there. He looked almost as shy as she felt. "You do this often?"
Leeseo's head snapped up. "No."
Then she hesitated.
"Not often."
His smile twitched a little wider.
"I swear I am not following you," she added quickly.
He blinked. "I did not think you were."
"Good."
A beat passed.
"That would be terrible."
"Right."
Another beat.
Why was he still standing there?
Why was she still talking?
Why was this somehow not going as horribly as it should?
Y/N glanced toward the trash bin, then back at her again as if he had momentarily forgotten why he stood up in the first place. "So you are an art student."
Leeseo nodded. "Final year."
"That explains the sketchbook."
She looked down at it. "And the public humiliation."
His laugh was soft, brief, and so unexpectedly warm that it made her stomach flip.
"It is not humiliation," he said. "At least not for me."
Leeseo stared at him.
He immediately looked like he regretted speaking that honestly out loud.
His grip tightened slightly around the empty cup. "I mean, if someone is going to sketch me in the library, I am glad they made me look decent."
For the first time since he caught her, Leeseo let out a tiny, breathy laugh.
It escaped before she could stop it.
And when Y/N heard it, something in his expression softened even more.
Neither of them seemed to know what to say next.
The quiet around them felt fragile, full of all the things they were too awkward to put into words.
Finally, Y/N lifted the cup a little. "I should throw this away."
"Right," Leeseo said quickly. "Of course."
He nodded once, then took a few steps away.
Leeseo watched him go, still frozen in her chair.
When he came back, he returned to his own table.
She sat there clutching her sketchbook for another full minute before slowly setting it down again.
Her heart had not calmed at all.
Across the room, Y/N sat down and stared at his open book without reading a single word.
He had spoken to her.
Very briefly.
Very awkwardly.
But still.
He had spoken to her.
And she had been drawing him.
He looked down at his notes, then very carefully, trying not to be obvious, glanced in her direction.
Leeseo was looking at her closed sketchbook like it might personally ruin her life.
For some reason, Y/N had to bite back another smile.
—
The next afternoon, Leeseo spent most of her lecture pretending to take notes while actually thinking about the library.
Not the library itself.
One specific corner of it.
One specific table by the window.
One specific person who had seen a sketch of himself in her notebook and, for reasons she still could not fully understand, had not been horrified.
She should have felt relieved. Instead she felt something much more inconvenient.
Aware.
Aware of every second that had passed in that brief conversation. Aware of the way his smile had looked. Aware of how kind his voice had been when he could have easily made her feel ridiculous. Aware of the fact that now, if she returned to the library and saw him again, she could no longer pretend he was just a distant stranger she happened to notice.
Now he was the boy she had spoken to.
Barely.
But enough to make everything feel different.
At the end of class, she packed slowly and told herself she did not have to go to the library today.
There were other places on campus to work.
The café near the student center.
The studio.
Even her dorm room if she was desperate enough.
And yet an hour later, she still found herself climbing the library stairs with her sketchbook tucked under her arm.
She paused just before turning into the quiet corner.
This was ridiculous.
She was acting like she was about to walk onstage instead of into a room full of students pretending not to look at each other.
Leeseo took a small breath and stepped forward.
He was there.
Of course he was there.
Y/N sat in his usual seat by the window, one hand resting against his cheek, the other turning a page. Sunlight stretched over the table in pale gold bands. There was a different stack of books today, and a half eaten chocolate biscuit beside his notebook.
For a second, she thought about turning around.
Then he looked up.
Their eyes met.
Leeseo felt her shoulders lock.
Y/N blinked once, then gave her a small, careful nod.
Not too much.
Not too familiar.
Just enough to say I see you.
It was such a simple thing, but it made the nervousness in her chest loosen a little.
Leeseo nodded back and walked to her usual table a few spaces away.
She sat down, opened her notebook, and tried to concentrate.
For all of five minutes.
Then she became aware of movement beside her.
Her head lifted before she could stop herself.
Y/N stood there holding a cup in one hand and a small wrapped pastry in the other.
"Hi," he said quietly, mindful of the library silence.
Leeseo blinked up at him.
He looked calm.
Completely calm.
Like walking up to her table was something he did every day and not something that had probably required any amount of courage.
"Hi," she answered, just as quietly.
He lifted the pastry slightly. "I bought two by accident."
Leeseo looked at the pastry.
Then at him.
Then at the pastry again.
It was very obviously a convenience store sweet bun. There was no reason in the world she should find this endearing.
She did anyway.
"Oh."
"If you do not want it, that is fine," he added quickly. "I just thought maybe..."
His voice trailed off.
For the first time, Leeseo noticed that while his expression remained steady, his fingers had shifted minutely against the wrapper. Not fidgeting exactly. Just enough to suggest a tiny bit of tension.
He was nervous too.
The realization made something warm bloom quietly in her chest.
"I want it," she said, then immediately worried that sounded too eager. "I mean, thank you."
His mouth curved into a faint smile.
He set it carefully near the corner of her table. "You are welcome."
He should have gone back to his seat then.
Instead, he lingered for a second.
Leeseo looked up at him.
He looked back at her.
Then, with the smallest pause, he asked, "Are you drawing today?"
Straight to the point.
Leeseo's ears grew warm. "Maybe."
His smile deepened just enough to turn a little teasing. "Should I be concerned?"
That made her stare at him.
Then, before she meant to, she laughed softly.
"No."
"Good."
He nodded once, as if genuinely reassured by this, then glanced at the empty seat across from her table. "Would it bother you if I sat here for a bit?"
Leeseo's fingers tightened around her pencil.
He wanted to sit with her.
At her table.
Not several rows away where they could keep pretending to be strangers.
"No," she said quickly. Then, softer, "It would not bother me."
He pulled the chair out carefully and sat down across from her.
For the first minute, neither of them said much.
Y/N opened one of his books. Leeseo opened her notebook. The silence between them was not exactly awkward, but it was delicate, as if they were both trying not to press too hard on it.
Leeseo stole a glance at him.
Up close like this, he looked even more serious when he was reading. His brows drew together slightly. His lips pressed into a thoughtful line. There was a neatness to everything he did, from the way he arranged his papers to the way he lined his pen parallel to the edge of the book.
She wondered if he knew how carefully composed he looked.
As if sensing her gaze, Y/N lifted his eyes.
Leeseo immediately looked down at her notebook.
His lips twitched.
"You can ask."
She glanced back up. "Ask what?"
"What I am studying. Since you have looked at this page three times like it is written in another language."
Her face warmed. "I was not doing that."
"You were a little."
She stared at him, then gave up and looked at the open textbook. "Fine. What are you studying?"
"Comparative literature."
That surprised her. "Really?"
He nodded. "Really."
"I thought maybe law."
"Do I look that scary?"
"No." The answer came too fast. Leeseo blinked. "I mean, not scary. Just... serious."
Y/N looked amused by that. "That is probably fair."
She tilted her head slightly. "So you read old novels and write long essays?"
"That is one way to describe it."
"What is the better way?"
He considered for a second. "I spend unhealthy amounts of time overthinking why people say one thing and mean another."
Leeseo's eyes widened a little. "That sounds exhausting."
"It is."
She smiled despite herself.
He noticed.
The sight made his own heartbeat jump in a way he had to work hard not to show.
He had spent an embarrassing amount of time thinking about how to talk to her again after yesterday. Nothing dramatic. Just enough to avoid sounding strange. Just enough to make a decent impression.
Do not be awkward.
Do not talk too much.
Do not stare.
Do not somehow mention that you have noticed her around campus for weeks.
So far he thought he was doing acceptably, even though his pulse had not been normal since walking over with the pastry.
Leeseo, meanwhile, sat with both hands around her pencil like she needed something to anchor her. She still seemed shy, still seemed like she might retreat into silence if he pushed too hard, but there was a softness to her expression now that had not been there when he first approached.
It made him want to keep the conversation going.
Carefully.
"What about you?" he asked. "Other than secretly sketching people in libraries."
Her eyes widened in alarm before she realized he was joking.
A tiny sound of disbelief escaped her. "You are never letting that go, are you?"
"Probably not."
She lowered her gaze, but he could see the embarrassed smile she was trying to hide.
"I am an art major," she said. "Painting and visual studies."
"Final year?"
She looked up. "How did you know that?"
"You told me yesterday."
"Oh." She ducked her head a little. "Right."
He smiled. "It was a memorable conversation."
Leeseo wanted to disappear and stay exactly where she was at the same time.
She unwrapped the pastry just to have something to do with her hands. The smell of sweet bread and butter drifted up faintly.
Y/N watched her take a small bite, then asked, "Is it good?"
She nodded. "Very."
"That is a relief."
"You have not tried yours yet?"
He glanced at the second pastry resting near his books. "I was waiting to see if I had chosen badly."
That made her laugh again, softer than before.
He liked that sound already.
A little too much.
They spoke in small pieces after that, between reading and writing and occasional stretches of quiet. The conversation did not rush. It unfolded in hesitant little steps, each answer making the next question easier.
Leeseo learned that Y/N liked rainy weather because it made crowded places quieter.
Y/N learned that Leeseo preferred winter over summer because she liked wearing oversized sweaters with paint on the sleeves.
She told him she listened to instrumental piano music while drawing because lyrics distracted her.
He admitted he did the same while studying, though he alternated with old jazz and soundtracks from films he claimed were "for concentration" and not because he had dramatic academic habits.
She found out he drank iced americanos even when it was cold.
He found out she hated coffee unless it was so sweet it barely counted.
They discovered they both liked staying in corners of bookshops for too long.
Both had a weakness for strawberry flavored snacks.
Both loved looking through secondhand stores for things they did not need.
Both preferred handwritten notes over typing.
And, to Leeseo's quiet surprise, both had the exact same favorite place on campus.
"The greenhouse?" she asked.
Y/N nodded. "Near the old science building."
"I go there when I cannot think."
His brows lifted a little. "Me too."
For a second they simply looked at each other, equally surprised by how easy that felt.
As the days passed, that first conversation became another.
Then another.
Then many.
It started with him asking if the seat across from her was free.
Then with him bringing an extra snack again, this time not pretending it was an accident.
Then with her arriving first one afternoon and feeling oddly pleased when he appeared a few minutes later, pausing only long enough to smile before sitting down.
Leeseo remained shy in a way that did not disappear all at once. She rarely started conversations first. Sometimes when Y/N asked her something, she needed a moment before answering, as if sorting through all the possible responses in her head. When he looked at her directly for too long, she had a habit of glancing down at her hands.
But little by little, she relaxed around him.
And little by little, Y/N learned how to meet her where she was.
He was always the one to start.
"Did your class end late today?"
"Is that a new sketchbook?"
"Why do art students always carry five different pencils for what looks like the same shade?"
The questions were simple, gentle, often a little teasing.
Leeseo answered them with growing ease.
Sometimes she surprised herself by saying more than she meant to.
Once, after he asked what kind of things she liked painting most, she ended up talking for ten straight minutes about hands. How expressive they were. How difficult. How she liked drawing people when they were unaware of being watched because their posture became honest.
Only after finishing did she realize how much she had said.
She looked away quickly. "Sorry. I talk too much when it is about art."
Y/N shook his head immediately. "No. I like hearing you talk about it."
The words were simple.
Still, they stayed with her for the rest of the day.
He was trying.
She noticed that too.
Y/N always seemed composed on the surface, but there was a care behind the way he spoke to her that made it obvious he wanted to get things right. He remembered the smallest details. If she once mentioned liking a particular bakery near campus, he would casually bring bread from there the next week. If she said she had a critique coming up, he would ask how it went the next day and actually listen to the answer.
He adjusted himself around her in quiet ways.
He lowered his voice when she looked tired.
He never interrupted when she was searching for words.
When she seemed overwhelmed, he did not press.
And when she showed him one of her unrelated class sketches for the first time, reluctantly turning the notebook around with obvious embarrassment, he took it with so much seriousness and care that her chest went oddly tight.
"It is beautiful," he said.
Leeseo looked at the page, then at him. "It is just a study."
"Then your studies are beautiful."
She did not know what to say to that.
Y/N, meanwhile, had to stop himself from saying anything more.
Because what he had wanted to say was that everything she touched seemed to become softer, more thoughtful, more alive. What he had wanted to say was that he had started looking forward to these afternoons with a level of sincerity that worried him. What he had wanted to say was that every day she grew more familiar to him, and somehow that only made his heart race harder instead of easing.
So he kept it simple.
He learned quickly that making a good impression on Leeseo did not mean trying to be impressive.
It meant remembering.
Showing up.
Listening.
Being someone she could feel comfortable with.
One evening, rain tapped softly against the library windows, turning the outside world gray and blurry. The quiet corner was nearly empty. Leeseo sat in a cream sweater that looked too big on her, her sleeves covering part of her hands as she wrote notes in the margin of her project sheet.
Y/N glanced at the page.
"How is the final project going?"
Leeseo's pencil stilled.
That question always brought back a mix of excitement and dread.
She hesitated, then answered honestly. "Better now."
His eyes moved from the paper to her face. "Because you found a subject?"
Leeseo swallowed.
There was no reason that question should make her this nervous. Not when he already knew, technically. Not when half her sketchbook at this point was becoming dangerously full of him in different angles and moods and moments.
Still, saying it aloud felt impossible.
"A little," she said.
Y/N watched her for a second, then spared her by looking back down at his own notebook. "That sounds promising."
Leeseo's shoulders loosened.
After a short silence, she asked, very quietly, "Would it bother you?"
He looked up again.
"If I used you for some studies?" she finished, almost too soft to hear. "For my project."
Y/N's heart slammed against his ribs so hard he was sure it had to show somewhere, somehow.
He hoped his face remained normal.
Or at least close enough.
"It would not bother me," he said.
Leeseo blinked. "Really?"
"Really."
"You are sure?"
He smiled a little. "Leeseo."
It was the first time he said her name directly.
Not because he had not known it.
Because until now, he had been waiting for the right moment.
The sound of it in his voice made her look at him very quickly.
"If anyone gets to turn me into art," he said, "I would trust you."
Leeseo forgot to breathe for a second.
Rain continued whispering against the windows. Somewhere deeper in the library, a cart rolled faintly over the floor. But in that small corner, the world felt very still.
She lowered her gaze first.
"Thank you," she murmured.
Y/N looked back at his book before he said something too honest.
His hands were steady on the table.
His pulse was not.
From then on, it became natural.
At least on the surface.
Leeseo started sketching him openly, though still with a visible trace of shyness every time she asked him to stay still for a minute. Sometimes she focused on quick studies of his profile while he read. Sometimes she asked if he would rest his hand a certain way on the table because she wanted to capture the shape of his fingers around a pen. Once she spent nearly twenty minutes trying to draw the expression he made when he was concentrating too hard.
"Do I always look this serious?" he asked after she showed him.
Leeseo glanced at the drawing, then at him. "Mostly."
"That is unfortunate."
She smiled. "It is kind of nice."
He tried not to let that sentence affect him as much as it did.
In return, Y/N began helping her in small ways that had nothing to do with art and everything to do with being near her. He saved seats for her when the library was full. He brought her hot chocolate on cold days without asking. He reminded her to eat when she got too absorbed in work.
One afternoon she arrived looking unusually drained, her hair slightly messy, eyes dull with exhaustion.
Y/N took one look at her and pushed a packaged strawberry sandwich across the table.
Leeseo blinked. "What is this?"
"You forgot lunch."
"How do you know?"
"You get quieter when you are hungry."
She stared at him.
He suddenly became aware of how that sounded.
Too observant.
Too familiar.
But instead of looking uncomfortable, Leeseo only looked startled in a gentler way.
Then she unwrapped the sandwich and said softly, "Thank you."
Y/N nodded and returned to his book before his expression betrayed him.
By midsemester, people in the library had likely started assuming they were simply friends who always studied together.
And that, strangely enough, was what they had become.
Good friends.
The kind who had inside jokes no one else would understand.
The kind who could sit in silence without needing to fill it.
The kind who knew each other's drink orders and favorite snacks and smallest habits.
Leeseo knew Y/N tapped his pen against the table exactly three times when he was stuck on a sentence.
Y/N knew Leeseo scrunched her nose a little when she erased something she did not like.
She knew he secretly liked romance novels despite pretending otherwise.
He knew she collected ticket stubs and pressed flowers inside old books.
She knew he disliked overly bright classrooms.
He knew she always chose the seat facing the window, never the wall.
And sometimes, during those quiet afternoons, Leeseo would catch herself looking at him not as a class project, not even just as a friend, but as something softer and more dangerous than either.
Then she would quickly look away and pretend to focus on her sketchbook.
Y/N did much the same.
He had wanted to make a good impression.
That was all, at first.
Be kind.
Be reliable.
Do not scare her away.
But somewhere between shared pastries and rainy afternoons and whispered conversations over open books, making a good impression had turned into something else entirely.
Now he found himself memorizing the shape of her laughter.
Now he noticed when she looked for him the moment she entered the room.
Now he carried around the quiet hope that she liked these afternoons as much as he did.
He never said any of this.
Not yet.
Instead, one evening as the library lights turned warmer and the sky outside dimmed into blue, Y/N closed his book and looked across the table at Leeseo, who was carefully shading the outline of his hand in her sketchbook.
"Do you want to get dinner after this?" he asked.
Leeseo's pencil stopped.
She looked up slowly. "With you?"
The question came out before she could stop it.
Y/N's mouth curved with amusement. "That is usually how dinner invitations work."
Her face warmed at once. "I know. I just..."
He waited.
Leeseo glanced down, then back at him. "Yes. I would like that."
The answer was simple.
Still, it made something bright and unsteady unfold in Y/N's chest.
He kept his voice calm. "Okay."
"Okay," she repeated.
—
Dinner after the library turned into many things after that.
It became warm bowls of ramen at a small shop just outside campus where the owner never seemed surprised to see students arrive looking half dead from deadlines. It became convenience store trips for late night snacks when Leeseo stayed too long in the studio and Y/N insisted she could not survive on coffee and determination alone. It became short walks between buildings, quiet waits at bus stops, and afternoons in the greenhouse when neither of them wanted to go straight home yet.
Neither of them said it aloud, but the line between friendship and something softer kept thinning.
Leeseo noticed it in little ways first.
The way Y/N always matched his pace to hers without thinking.
The way he remembered exactly how she liked her hot chocolate.
The way his expression changed when she laughed, almost like he had not expected to be the reason for it and was secretly pleased every time.
Y/N noticed it too.
In how Leeseo started texting him first sometimes, even if it was only to send a blurry photo of a cat she had seen near the art building or to complain about a class critique in three short lines.
In how she saved the seat beside her now, not across from her.
In how she no longer looked startled when he called her name, only quietly happy.
Weeks passed like that, gentle and full.
The final project that had once felt impossible slowly began to take shape around them.
Leeseo's sketchbook filled with studies of Y/N in different moments. Y/N reading by the library window. Y/N half turned toward the rain. Y/N holding a coffee cup with one hand while the other rested open on the table. Y/N in the greenhouse, looking down at a leaf as if it deserved serious consideration. Y/N under campus lights at dusk, soft shadows crossing his face.
At first, she had worried that drawing him so often would make him become too familiar, too difficult to see clearly.
Instead, the opposite happened.
The more she observed him, the more she found.
He was not only the quiet boy in the library anymore. He was thoughtful in ways that showed up in small gestures. He had a dry sense of humor that emerged when people least expected it. He pretended to be composed, but when he got excited about a book or a film or some line of poetry he liked, his eyes gave him away.
And because it was Leeseo drawing him, because she could not help but feel every line more deeply than she meant to, her work began to change too.
It became warmer.
Less distant.
More honest.
Professor Han noticed.
During one review session, he stood in front of her progress boards for a long moment without speaking. Leeseo stood beside them trying not to look nervous.
There were charcoal studies pinned neatly in rows. Pencil sketches layered over notes. Color studies exploring light through library windows, skin tones under warm lamps, reflections in glass. A larger unfinished canvas rested on the easel behind her, still in progress but already unmistakably centered around the same subject.
Professor Han finally glanced at her.
"You found him."
Leeseo nearly dropped the pencil in her hand.
She looked at the floor. "Yes."
His eyes returned to the work. "And more importantly, you found your way into the work itself."
That made her blink.
He tapped one finger lightly near one of the studies. "Earlier in the semester your drawings were skilled. These are skilled too. But now they are also affectionate."
Leeseo's face warmed instantly.
Professor Han, mercifully, did not sound teasing. Only matter of fact.
"You are paying attention to more than anatomy now. More than form. That is why these feel alive." He looked at her again. "Keep going. Do not lose your nerve before the final."
After he moved on to the next student, Leeseo stood there staring at her own drawings.
Affectionate.
The word echoed in her chest all the way to the library later that afternoon.
Y/N was already there when she arrived, sitting in his usual spot with two drinks on the table. One coffee for himself. One hot chocolate for her.
He looked up when she approached.
"Tough review?"
She sat down, exhaling softly. "A little."
His brows knit together. "Bad?"
Leeseo shook her head. "No. Good, actually."
"That sounds more promising than your face suggests."
She looked at him, then down at the hot chocolate. "My professor said my drawings are affectionate."
Y/N went very still for a second.
His heart gave one dangerous, immediate thud.
He kept his expression careful. "That sounds like a compliment."
"It was."
"Then why do you look like you want to hide under the table?"
Leeseo lifted both hands to cover part of her face. "Because now I know he can tell."
Y/N's mouth curved despite himself. "I think anyone could tell."
Her fingers dropped just enough for her to stare at him. "What does that mean?"
He looked back at her, suddenly very aware of the line he had stepped near.
Then he chose safety.
"It means your work feels personal."
Leeseo studied his face as if trying to figure out whether he had meant more.
Maybe he had.
Maybe he had not.
Either way, her pulse did not settle for a while.
As the final deadline approached, both of them became busier. Leeseo spent longer hours in the studio layering paint, revising compositions, mounting finished pieces, and questioning every decision she had ever made in her life. Y/N had his own end of term work to survive, pages of essays and too many notes and not enough sleep.
Still, they kept finding their way back to each other.
Sometimes it was only for twenty minutes.
Sometimes just a text.
Are you alive?
Barely. You?
Tragically, yes.
Eat something.
You too.
One particularly late evening, Y/N went to the studio to bring Leeseo dinner because she had not answered for hours and he suspected, correctly, that she was too focused to notice time passing.
He found her standing a few feet from a large canvas, arms folded tightly across herself, paint on her wrist and cheek, staring at the work like it had personally offended her.
The studio was dim except for the task lights over the easels. The smell of paint hung in the air. Finished and unfinished pieces leaned against every wall.
Leeseo turned at the sound of the door opening.
Her whole face softened the moment she saw him.
Y/N lifted the paper bag. "Emergency food delivery."
She let out a breath that sounded dangerously close to a laugh. "You really do think I cannot take care of myself."
"I think," he corrected, setting the food down on a nearby stool, "that left alone, you would absolutely choose suffering over dinner."
Leeseo had no defense for that.
He glanced toward the canvas. "Can I see?"
She hesitated, then stepped aside.
It was her largest piece yet.
Y/N, seated by the library window, though not exactly as he had imagined himself before. The painting caught the late afternoon light in a way that made everything feel suspended, quiet, almost tender. He was turned slightly toward the window, one hand resting over an open book, expression calm and thoughtful.
The background remained loose, suggestive rather than detailed. But the focus on him was startlingly intimate. Not because the painting was romantic in any obvious way. Because it felt seen. Deeply seen.
Y/N looked at it for a long moment.
Leeseo stood beside him in tense silence.
Finally he said, very softly, "You made me look kinder than I am."
She blinked. "That is not true."
He turned to her. "It is beautiful."
The exhaustion in her face shifted, giving way to something small and fragile and relieved. "Really?"
"Really."
Her shoulders loosened. "I have been fixing the same parts for an hour."
"I cannot even tell what needed fixing."
"That is because you are not an art student."
"That is true," he admitted. "I am only here to tell you when things are beautiful and when you need food."
Leeseo smiled, tired but real.
That night, after he made sure she ate at least half the meal he brought, Y/N sat in the corner of the studio doing his own reading while she worked. Every now and then she glanced over and found him there, steady and familiar, and each time it made the room feel less lonely.
By the time the portfolio deadline finally came, both of them looked like they had gone through battle.
Leeseo submitted her project with trembling hands and slept for almost twelve hours afterward.
Then came the exhibition.
The fine arts building had been transformed for the end of year showcase. White walls were lined with paintings, drawings, installations, photographs, and mixed media pieces. Families, students, lecturers, and curious visitors moved through the rooms in low waves of conversation. There was the faint smell of fresh print labels and varnish in the air.
Leeseo stood near her section trying not to look as nervous as she felt.
She wore a simple blouse and skirt, her hair neatly done for once, though one strand kept slipping loose near her cheek. Her hands were clasped together so tightly in front of her that her knuckles had gone pale.
Her work hung in a thoughtful sequence.
Smaller observational studies first.
Then larger pieces.
Then the final centerpiece.
The title card beside the collection read:
Quiet Hours
A study in attention, routine, and presence.
She had spent a long time deciding whether that title was too obvious or not obvious enough.
A few people stopped and looked carefully. Some nodded. One woman spent several minutes in front of the large library painting. A junior student whispered to her friend, "I love this one," and Leeseo nearly dissolved on the spot.
Still, beneath all that, she was waiting for one person.
When Y/N finally appeared at the entrance of the room, Leeseo saw him before he saw her.
He had dressed more neatly than usual too, in a light shirt and dark slacks, his hair actually behaving for once. He stood for a moment scanning the room, then his eyes found her.
And just like that, the noise around her faded.
Y/N smiled.
Not the small library smile she had become used to.
A fuller one.
Proud, a little amazed, and so warm that Leeseo forgot to be nervous for one precious second.
He made his way through the crowd until he stood in front of her.
"Hi," he said.
Leeseo had to stop herself from laughing at how normal that sounded in the middle of all this. "Hi."
He looked at her properly then, and his expression softened further. "You look nice."
Her heart gave a small, helpless flutter. "You do too."
For a second they only stood there, smiling like two people who had spoken nearly every day for months and somehow still did not know what to do with certain moments.
Then Leeseo gestured toward the display. "Do you want to see it?"
Y/N turned to the wall.
He had known, in theory, that her final project would be centered around him.
He had posed for studies. Sat for sketches. Watched her build the work piece by piece.
Still, seeing the completed collection arranged together was something else entirely.
It was like walking through a record of how she had come to know him.
The earliest drawings captured only shapes, posture, distance.
The later ones held more confidence.
More closeness.
One sketch of his hands nearly made him stop breathing for a second because of how carefully she had rendered the tension in his fingers around a book spine. Another, done in soft graphite, showed him half hidden in the greenhouse shadows, expression thoughtful and unguarded.
Then there was the final painting.
Quiet Hours
Y/N stood in front of it for a long time.
He could feel Leeseo beside him, silent, waiting.
Finally he said, "I do not think anyone has ever looked at me like this before."
Leeseo looked down. "I did not know how else to paint you."
He turned to her, unable to hide the emotion in his face now. "Then I am glad it was you."
Her throat went tight.
Before she could answer, someone from the faculty called her name from across the room. She turned instinctively. Professor Han was speaking with another lecturer near the entrance. He lifted a hand slightly, signaling for her to come over.
Leeseo's expression shifted at once into nervous confusion.
"I think I have to..." She pointed vaguely.
Y/N nodded. "Go."
She hesitated. "Will you still be here?"
He almost smiled at the fact that she even had to ask. "Of course."
Leeseo gave a tiny nod and moved through the crowd toward the faculty group.
Y/N stayed where he was, though his attention remained fixed on her.
He watched her approach Professor Han. Watched the brief exchange. Watched her eyes widen in clear disbelief at whatever was being said.
Then watched both lecturers smile.
Leeseo lifted a hand to her mouth.
Y/N's own heart started beating faster.
A minute later she turned, searching the room until she found him again.
The look on her face told him before she had even crossed back over.
When she reached him, she looked almost dazed.
"What happened?" he asked.
Leeseo blinked up at him. "I got the highest grade."
For one second he simply stared.
Then his entire face lit up.
"You did?"
She nodded, eyes still wide. "Professor Han said my project was the strongest in the year."
Y/N laughed softly in pure relief and happiness. "Leeseo."
He did not even think about it before taking both her hands in his.
The contact startled her, but she did not pull away.
"I told you," he said. "It is beautiful."
She looked down at their joined hands, then back at him, and suddenly all the stress of the semester, all the self doubt, all the late nights seemed to wash through her at once. Her eyes turned bright, and she gave a small, almost helpless smile.
"I am really happy you are here."
The words were quiet.
Still, they hit Y/N with enough force that he had to steady himself.
He did not let go of her hands right away.
Neither of them seemed in a hurry to move.
The exhibition slowly thinned as the evening wore on. People drifted toward other rooms or began heading home. Leeseo spent some time speaking with classmates and lecturers, but every few minutes her eyes found Y/N again. He waited nearby, patient and pleased and still a little in awe of what she had made.
Eventually, when most of the crowd had gone, they stepped outside together.
The evening air was cool and soft. Campus lights glowed along the pathways, and the buildings were wrapped in that peaceful end of day hush that came after a big event was over.
Leeseo carried a folder of notes and comments from the exhibition tucked against her chest. Y/N walked beside her with his hands in his pockets, quieter than usual.
Leeseo noticed.
"What is it?"
He glanced at her, then away again.
"Nothing."
"That means something."
He breathed out through a small smile. "You are learning my habits too well."
They reached the path near the greenhouse, the one that had become familiar to both of them over the semester. A few petals from some nearby tree had fallen across the pavement. The night smelled faintly of grass and spring air.
Y/N slowed.
Leeseo slowed too.
He looked at her fully then, and she immediately sensed the shift in him. The careful composure. The effort. The nerves hidden just under the surface.
Her own heartbeat quickened.
"Leeseo," he said.
His voice was steady enough, but she could tell he had rehearsed this in his head more than once.
"Yes?"
He let out a breath. "I know this is not exactly subtle timing, and maybe I should have said this earlier, but I wanted to wait until your project was finished."
Her fingers tightened slightly around the folder she held.
Y/N looked both calm and not calm at all.
He continued, "I like you."
Simple.
Honest.
The words landed between them in the soft night air.
Leeseo stared.
"I know we have become close," he said, and now there was a trace of nervousness she could hear despite how carefully he was trying to hide it. "And I do not want to make things awkward if you do not feel the same. But I keep wanting to ask anyway, so I think if I do not say it now, I will keep regretting it."
His ears had gone a little pink.
Leeseo noticed that too.
Y/N's mouth lifted in one self conscious corner. "So I am taking a risk here."
She was still silent.
He swallowed, then pressed on with admirable courage.
"Would you want to go out with me? Properly, I mean." He looked at her with a softness that made her chest ache. "Would you be my girlfriend?"
Leeseo did not answer right away.
She just looked at him.
And looked.
And looked.
Y/N, who had faced final exams with less dread than this moment, felt his entire body go rigid with suspense.
Had he made a mistake?
Had he misread everything?
Should he say something else?
Should he apologize?
Should he pretend he had actually meant something vague and not incredibly direct?
The silence stretched for what felt to him like several years.
Then, before he could embarrass himself further, Leeseo moved.
She stepped forward and wrapped both arms around him tightly.
Y/N stopped breathing.
The folder nearly got crushed between them, but neither of them cared.
Leeseo's hug was firm, warm, and sudden enough to wipe every coherent thought from his mind.
Then she pulled back just enough to look up at him, cheeks pink, eyes bright, and before he could process anything, she leaned in and kissed his cheek.
Quick.
Soft.
Certain.
When she stepped back again, Y/N looked so stunned that Leeseo almost laughed.
"Yes," she said finally.
He blinked. "Yes?"
She nodded, trying and failing to hide her smile. "Yes."
For a second he just stood there like his brain had completely short circuited.
Then relief and joy arrived all at once across his face in the most boyish, helpless way she had ever seen.
"You could have said that earlier," he said, half laughing from pure nerves.
Leeseo's smile widened. "I know."
"You were quiet for so long."
"I was thinking."
"About rejecting me?"
She shook her head immediately. "About hugging you."
That answer hit him with a level of tenderness he was not prepared for.
He laughed again, softer this time, then rubbed the back of his neck. "Okay. Good. Great. That is... great."
Leeseo watched him fondly.
Now that the biggest question had been answered, Y/N seemed to have discovered several new ones all at once.
He took a half step after her as she began to angle toward the dorm path.
"Wait."
She turned.
His expression was still bright and a little overwhelmed. "So what are we now?"
Leeseo bit back a smile. "You just asked me to be your girlfriend."
"Right, yes. I know. I just wanted confirmation."
"You want official confirmation?"
"I would like official confirmation."
Leeseo tilted her head, pretending to think. "We are... not strangers."
Y/N stared at her in disbelief. "Leeseo."
She laughed softly.
He pointed a little, unable to stop smiling himself. "That is not an answer."
"It is a hint."
"I need a better hint."
She shifted the folder in her arms and took one small step backward toward the path. "You can figure it out, literature major."
He followed with another question immediately, clearly unwilling to let her go that easily.
"Then where should we go on our first date?"
Leeseo's eyes lit with mischief now, a rare sight that made him want to ask ten more questions just to see it again.
"Hm. Somewhere quiet."
"That narrows it down to half the city."
"Good luck."
"Leeseo."
This time she was definitely teasing him.
He could tell.
And maybe because she was shy in so many other ways, the sight of her doing this felt especially adorable.
"When can I meet you?" he asked dramatically. "As your boyfriend, I mean. Is there an appointment system? Do I need to apply in advance?"
Leeseo tried to keep a straight face and failed.
"Maybe."
"Maybe?"
She nodded with exaggerated seriousness. "There is a waiting list."
"That is cruel."
"I will consider moving you up."
He looked at her as if this was the greatest injustice he had ever suffered. "I carried snacks for you through an entire semester."
"And I drew you beautifully."
"That is true."
"So maybe we are even."
He put a hand over his heart. "I cannot believe my own girlfriend is treating me like this already."
Her smile softened at that word.
Girlfriend.
Something changed in her expression when she heard it. Something shy and glowing and very pleased.
Y/N noticed.
He stepped closer again, not too close, just enough that his voice softened.
"So I can see you tomorrow?"
Leeseo held his gaze for a second, then nodded once.
"At the library?" he asked hopefully.
She pretended to think again. "Maybe."
"Leeseo."
This time she laughed outright.
That sound, under the campus lights, after everything, made Y/N feel so full he almost did not know what to do with himself.
She began to back away again, still smiling.
"I will text you," she said.
"You promise?"
She gave him a small, certain nod.
Then, before turning fully, she added, "Boyfriend."
Y/N went still.
Leeseo watched the effect of the word land on him and smiled even more.
"There," she said softly. "Official confirmation."
He looked like he wanted to memorize this exact moment forever.
Leeseo lifted one hand in a tiny wave, the same small shy gesture she had once given him across the library room before either of them really knew each other.
But now it meant something else.
Now it meant something full and bright and theirs.
Y/N stood there smiling like a fool as she walked backward a few more steps, then turned toward the dorm path. Just before she disappeared around the corner, she glanced back over her shoulder.
"Somewhere with dessert," she called quietly.
Y/N straightened. "What?"
"For the date," she said. "That is your hint."
Then she gave him one last smile and disappeared around the bend.
Y/N remained under the campus lights for several seconds after she was gone.
Then he looked down, let out one disbelieving laugh, and covered part of his face with one hand.
Highest grade.
Her project had succeeded.
She had hugged him.
She had kissed his cheek.
And somehow, impossibly, wonderfully, he now had a date to plan.
The next afternoon, the quiet corner of the library looked the same as it always had. Soft light through the windows. Rows of books. The familiar hush of pages turning.
But everything felt different.
Y/N arrived early this time.
Very early.
He had brought two drinks, one hot chocolate and one coffee, and an entirely unreasonable amount of dessert options because he had taken her hint far too seriously.
When Leeseo appeared at the end of the aisle and saw the table, she stopped short.
There, beside Y/N's books, sat a small paper bag from a bakery near campus.
He stood as she approached, trying to look normal and failing only slightly.
Leeseo looked from the bag to him. "What is all this?"
He cleared his throat. "Research."
"For what?"
"Our date."
Her cheeks turned pink at once.
Y/N smiled, softer now. "Come sit down, girlfriend."
Leeseo did.
And as she took the seat beside him, close enough that their sleeves brushed, she thought that maybe this was what the best art had given her after all.
Not only a project.
Not only a grade.
But someone who had once been a quiet figure by a window, and had slowly become the person she wanted to keep meeting, again and again, in all the ordinary days after.
Their books opened.
Their drinks warmed the table.
Their shoulders bumped lightly once, then stayed close.
And in the little corner of the library where everything had first begun, they started something new. Quietly, sweetly, and with every intention of continuing.
Taeyeon popular know as “Ice Queen”/ “Untouchable”, everyone scare of her . Then , there is accident that Y/N save Taeyeon live and after that Taeyeon being soft only for Y/N.
And one day, Y/N being absent because he sick, and Taeyeon decided to go to his home and find out he actually live alone (parents passed away)
Sorry for my English, English is not my 1st language :’(
UNTOUCHABLE
Taeyeon X Male Reader
SMUT
13K WORDS COUNTED
—
The office went silent the moment the elevator doors slid open.
Heels hit the marble in a steady rhythm. Heads dipped toward monitors. A copier stopped mid-run. Someone at the far end of the room closed a browser tab with a sharp click. No one spoke.
Y/N stood beside his shared desk with a stack of labeled folders in his hands. He kept his eyes on the labels. Marketing report. Supplier list. Revised proposal. His palm left a faint print of sweat on the cardboard.
He heard her heels before he saw her.
Kim Taeyeon came out of the elevator with her security chief a step behind and her assistant half a step ahead, holding a tablet and talking under her breath. The assistant kept pace while scrolling, pointing to the screen, handing over something, taking it back. Taeyeon’s gaze stayed straight ahead.
She moved through the room in a straight line. She never glanced left or right. People straightened in their chairs as she passed, eyes on monitors, hands on keyboards. The hum of the air conditioning sat over everything.
Y/N swallowed and shifted his weight. He had to get the folders to Admin before ten. No one had told him there was a specific route to avoid crossing in front of the CEO.
He stepped away from his desk at the same second she turned toward the corridor.
The front folder slipped from his grip. The bottom edge caught on the second folder, tilted the stack, and half the pile slid out of his arms.
Cardstock hit the floor in a messy fan, papers spilling out. A couple of pages skimmed across the polished surface and stopped at Taeyeon’s heel.
He froze.
Her step stopped as if she had hit a wall. The security chief’s hand shifted toward his belt. The assistant cut her sentence off.
Y/N bent fast, knees popping. He reached for the closest report, throat tight. Paper edges scraped his fingers.
Her shadow fell over his hands.
He saw the black leather of her shoes first. Plain, sharp line, clean polish. Then the dark cuff of a fitted pant leg. He did not let his eyes travel higher, but he felt it anyway, the weight of her stare pressed into the top of his head.
“Name.” Her voice came without any rise. It sounded clear, nothing on it.
“Y/N,” he said. His tongue stuck to his teeth for a second. “From Marketing. I’m still in training. Sorry, I’ll move.”
He reached for the page by her toe. It had slid under her sole by a few centimeters.
Taeyeon shifted her foot back just enough for him to grab it. The motion came tight and controlled, no wasted space. He caught a glimpse of her wrist as the sleeve moved, a faint line of a watch strap.
The room stayed quiet.
“You started last week,” she said.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Stand up.”
He stacked the bent papers as straight as he could and rose. The stack shook in his hand. He forced his grip to tighten.
He met her eyes for half a second.
Her gaze did not move. Dark. Steady. She looked straight into him, then over him, then through him. She scanned his badge, the folder labels, the crease on his shirt like she was checking inventory.
“You work under Manager Park,” she said.
“Yes.”
“Park.” She did not raise her voice, but Park heard it from his glass cubicle and came out at a quick pace, spine stiff, hands together.
“Yes, CEO Kim.”
“Teach your staff where to stand,” she said. “I do not like clutter in walkways.”
“Yes. Understood.”
Y/N felt the word “sorry” sit on his tongue. He kept it down. He only nodded.
Taeyeon cut her eyes back to him for a moment.
“You.” Her gaze fixed on his face. “Carry less at once. Use a cart. Do not hold more than you can control.”
“Yes,” he said. He kept his eyes level with the space at her shoulder rather than her face. “Won’t happen again.”
She watched him a second longer, then turned. The heels hit the floor again. The office sound returned in fragments as she walked away. Keyboard clacks. A low cough. The copier resumed.
Park stepped in close to Y/N’s side as soon as her back turned.
“Use the cart next time,” Park muttered, voice clipped. “If you drop shit near her again you’ll be in HR with a warning before lunch. Move.”
Y/N nodded and set the stack down on his desk. His hand left a smudge where sweat mixed with the cheap ink on the folder edge.
He went to find the cart.
—
The rain came without warning in the afternoon.
One minute the wide office windows showed a stretch of gray sky above the city. The next, water hit the glass in a straight sheet. Wind shook the panes in a steady tap.
The announcement about the inspection had gone out the previous day. Internal memo. CEO would tour the renovated logistics hall. Safety, efficiency, image. Everyone pretended it was routine and still rushed to clean.
Y/N pushed a loaded cart across the lobby toward the freight elevators. The wheels squeaked every third rotation. A taped box of promotional catalogs sat on the bottom rack, two smaller boxes of branded pens on top. HR had volunteered him as an extra pair of hands for Logistics. New hires never said no.
He watched the floor tiles in front of the cart as he pushed. The marble had thin cracks in places where old repairs showed through. He felt the slight bump under the wheels where one tile sat higher.
On the far side of the cavernous lobby, crew from the contractor company adjusted a suspended light fixture. Two of them stood on a tall scaffold, one on the ground holding a rope that ran through a pulley near the ceiling. Their voices echoed off the high walls.
Taeyeon entered from the parking level entrance with her umbrella folded. She handed it to the security chief without breaking stride. Her hair lay flat despite the weather. She crossed the lobby with her assistant at her side, heading for the logistics hall doors.
The contractor’s foreman glanced up, saw her, and motioned to his men to hurry.
“Pull it a bit more,” the man on the scaffold shouted. “We’re late.”
“I’m pulling,” the guy on the rope said. He braced his feet and yanked.
Metal groaned above them.
Y/N heard it first. A grinding rasp from the ceiling, followed by a dull shift like something heavy sliding a few centimeters out of place.
He looked up.
The corner bracket on the light fixture had not locked. The whole structure hung skewed. One of the upper bolts worked its way out with a slow rotation. The bracket slipped off the beam.
The fixture tilted.
Taeyeon walked under it.
Y/N let go of the cart handle. His fingers slipped off the worn rubber. The cart rolled two inches and stopped when a back wheel hit a grout line.
“Hey!” he yelled.
His voice bounced across the lobby but the contractor on the rope had his eyes on the men above, not the floor. Taeyeon went forward at the same pace. She checked a notification on her phone. The security chief, two steps behind, looked sideways toward an approaching manager.
The bolt dropped.
The fixture shifted hard. The hanging side dipped. The other bracket strained. The anchoring beam creaked.
Y/N moved.
He pushed off the floor with both feet, shoes sliding on the slightly wet patch near the entrance where rainwater had tracked in. His shoulder clipped the steel frame of a support column. Pain flared, brief and sharp. He kept going.
The light tore free.
Metal and glass came down in a loose arc. The sound cracked through the air. People shouted, voices tangled and thin.
Y/N hit Taeyeon with his full weight.
His chest slammed into her shoulder. He hooked an arm around her torso and drove forward. Her phone flew out of her hand and skidded across the floor. Her heels lost purchase. Her body turned with his momentum.
They hit the floor hard. The side of his face bounced off the tile. His teeth clacked together. His shoulder exploded with pain where he had already hit the column.
A caged weight smacked the ground where her feet had been. Glass shattered. A shower of tiny shards flew out. A section of metal support bent and twisted against the tile with a loud scrape.
Something heavy caught Y/N across the back and rolled off to the side. His breath left his lungs in a grunt.
Silence hit for one tight second after the crash.
Then noise came back all at once.
“Shit. Shit. Shit.”
“Kill the power!”
“Don’t move, sir, stay down!”
Feet pounded over the floor. There was the quick rip of someone pulling caution tape from a roll. The distant clack of a remote as maintenance cut electricity to the damaged line.
Y/N pushed his palms against the tile and lifted himself a few centimeters. Muscle in his shoulder screamed. Something warm slid down his upper arm and dripped from his elbow.
He glanced to his right.
Taeyeon lay on her side where he had shoved her, one arm under her, one hand pressed flat against the floor. Her eyes stayed open. She checked her hands, her legs, then turned her head and looked at him.
Her pupils had a sharp focus. No daze, no wander. She tracked him like she would track a line in a contract.
Her gaze moved to the broken fixture behind him, then to the spot where she had stood a moment before.
The security chief dropped to one knee in front of her. “Ma’am. Are you hurt?”
She ignored him.
She pushed herself upright without taking the offered hand. Her suit jacket had a streak of dust. A thin line of glass dust clung to the hem of her slacks.
She looked at Y/N.
Blood slid from the contact point near his shoulder down his upper arm. The fabric had torn. A jagged piece of housing had nicked him when the fixture fell and rolled.
“You.” Her voice sliced through the shouts. “Do you feel your fingers.”
He flexed both hands. “Yeah.”
“Your legs.”
He shifted one knee forward. Pain spiked across his back but his leg moved. He did the same on the other side. “Yeah. Both fine.”
Taeyeon looked at the security chief.
“Call emergency. Now.”
“We can take him to the nurse’s room first,” the chief said. “It may not be that serious. We should not cause a scene in the lobby.”
Her eyes cut to him.
The chief stopped talking.
“Call emergency,” she said again.
He reached for his radio.
Y/N pushed himself to sitting. His head spun. The overhead lights brightened and faded at the edges of his sight for a second, then settled.
He looked around.
Glass littered the floor in a wide circle. The fixture had rolled to a stop against the far side of the lobby, metal bent in on itself. One of the contractor crew stood frozen with the rope still in his hands, mouth open. Another climbed down the scaffold in jerky movements. A third talked into his phone with a tight face.
Taeyeon stood up. She brushed the front of her pants leg with one brisk stroke and then looked for her phone. The assistant, pale, already marched over to where it had landed, scooped it up, wiped the screen with a sleeve, and brought it back.
Taeyeon took it and checked the display. Her thumb moved fast. Then she slid the device into her jacket pocket and turned back to Y/N.
“Sit still,” she said. “Do not try to stand until the medics check your spine.”
He swallowed. “I’m fine. I can walk. Just cut myself.”
She took two steps forward, closed the space between them, and dropped to a crouch.
Her hand gripped his forearm above the wound. Fingers dug in, hard and steady. She raised his arm, examined the cut. Blood smeared across her thumb. She did not pull back.
“You do not decide that,” she said. Her tone stayed flat. “You do not move until a doctor does scans. Understood.”
He held her gaze this time. Close up, he saw faint lines at the edges of her eyes. Her eyes did not soften, but they did not go cold either. They stayed fixed.
“Yes,” he said.
Sirens wailed outside a short while later.
—
The exam room smelled like rubbing alcohol and plastic.
Y/N sat on the narrow bed in a hospital gown with the back gaping. The cut on his shoulder burned where the nurse had flushed it. Dark stitches sat in a neat line across the jagged edges. His arm rested in a light sling to keep tension off the wound.
A dull ache pulsed through the muscle every time he moved even a little. The scans had come back with no breaks and no internal bleed. The doctor had said he got lucky. The words slid past him.
He stared at the white tile floor, traced the cracks between squares.
The door opened with a quiet click.
Taeyeon stepped inside before he could look up fully. She had left her jacket somewhere. White shirt. Sleeves rolled to her forearms. No tie. She closed the door behind her without noise.
Y/N straightened by reflex.
“You do not need to stand,” she said. She pulled the lone plastic chair away from the wall and sat facing him, knees a bit to the side so she could turn toward the bed.
He sat back down.
A brief silence settled.
He noticed a faint smudge on the back of her wrist. Dried blood. His own.
“The doctors cleared your spine and head,” she said. “Fourteen stitches. Tetanus shot. Pain prescription. They said you can go home tonight.”
He nodded.
“Do you live far,” she asked.
“Forty minutes by subway.”
“You will not take the subway.” She watched his face. “I will have my driver take you.”
He shook his head. “There’s no need. Really. I’m fine.”
“You pushed me out of the path of a falling fixture,” she said. “You took the impact and bled on my floor. The minimum I can do is arrange a car.”
Her words sat plain. No rise. No emphasis.
He cleared his throat. “I just reacted. Anyone would.”
She gave a short breath out through her nose. Not quite a laugh. Not a scoff either.
“No,” she said. “They would not. I saw them.”
He had nothing for that. He watched his own toes inside worn socks.
She leaned back in the chair a little.
“Do you remember what I told you this morning,” she asked.
He searched his memory. “Carry less at once. Use a cart.”
“Good,” she said. “You follow instructions. It is useful.”
He almost smiled. It tugged at the corner of his mouth before he caught it.
Her gaze flicked to the movement.
“I will increase your hazard bonus,” she said. “HR will process it this week. You will also receive company coverage for all medical costs. The contractor will pay as well. Legal will handle that.”
“You don’t have to,” he said.
She tilted her head a slight angle. “Do not say that again.” Her eyes stayed on his. “This company injures someone, this company pays. I sign the checks. Do not argue about money with the person who signs the checks.”
He shut his mouth.
Her shoulders lowered a few millimeters. The rigid line along her neck loosened.
“Do you have someone at home.” She asked it like she was asking about a project lead.
“No,” he said. The word came easy from long repetition. “I’m okay.”
Taeyeon studied his face a second longer.
“Friends,” she said.
“They work late too,” he said. “I’ll manage.”
She checked the sling again, her eyes moving over the way the fabric held his arm tight against his body. She did not reach for it.
“You will not work tomorrow,” she said. “That is a direct instruction. If your manager calls, you refer him to me.”
His eyes widened. “I can still work. It’s just my arm. I can use the other one. I sit at a desk anyway.”
“Your body just took a heavy impact,” she said. “You take the day. That is all.”
He opened his mouth to push back, then closed it.
“Okay,” he said.
Taeyeon looked toward the window for a short second. Rain streaked the glass in long, steady lines.
“You called me ‘ma’am’ earlier,” she said.
“Sorry. I mean, CEO Kim. Ms. Kim. Whatever’s right.”
“Use ‘CEO Kim’ at work,” she said. “Use whatever you want when you are not at work. You saved my life. You earned one informal address.”
He stared at her.
He could not picture anyone calling her anything else. He had only heard titles and last names since day one.
“That’s... okay,” he said. “I don’t need that.”
She gave a small shake of her head.
“It is not an offer,” she said. “It is a statement. You already have it. You can use it or ignore it.”
He sat there, not sure what to say, listening to the rain patter against the window.
Her phone vibrated in her pocket. She took it out, glanced at the screen, and ignored the call. She slid it back in.
“You will give the nurse your address,” she said. “My driver will take you home. Someone from Admin will bring your belongings from the office.”
He frowned. “You don’t have to get involved like that. HR can handle everything.”
“HR reports to me,” she said. “This is me handling it.”
He looked down at his hand in the sling, the faint dried blood at the edge of the gauze.
“Thank you,” he said.
She stood.
“Rest,” she said. “If you feel dizzy or if the pain worsens, you come back. Use the company line. They will prioritize you.”
He nodded.
She watched him one more moment, then moved to the door. Her fingers wrapped around the handle. The thin streak of his dried blood cracked a bit on her knuckle as the skin bent.
She opened the door and stepped out into the hall without looking back.
—
The empty desk sat in the second row from the window.
Taeyeon noticed it when she crossed the open floor toward her office. She did not stop, but her eyes cut sideways long enough to mark it. No jacket. No cheap thermos bottle. No stack of folders arranged in almost straight lines.
Her assistant walked beside her, tablet in hand. “Morning briefing at nine. Legal at ten thirty. The contractors’ insurance already contacted Finance. They are ready to negotiate settlement. You also have lunch with the board at twelve thirty.”
“Cancel the lunch,” Taeyeon said. She did not slow. “Reschedule for next week.”
The assistant blinked. “Yes. I’ll inform them. Should I give a reason.”
“No.”
They reached her glass-walled office. She went inside. The assistant stayed at the threshold.
“There is also one absence notice from HR,” the assistant said. “Employee Y/N from Marketing called in sick. Fever. He sent a doctor’s note.”
Taeyeon stopped in the middle of the room. Her bag hung from her right hand. She set it on the desk with a short, controlled motion.
“What fever,” she said.
The assistant skimmed the tablet. “Thirty nine degrees last night. The clinic prescribed rest and medication. He requested one sick day. HR approved.”
Taeyeon’s jaw flexed. Her gaze went to the window for a brief second. The sky stayed overcast. A thin line of traffic crawled along the elevated road.
“What time did he call in,” she asked.
“Seven thirty,” the assistant said. “HR logged it at seven thirty-two.”
Taeyeon checked the clock on the wall. Eight twenty.
“Get me his address,” she said.
The assistant hesitated. “HR records are confidential. I would need to request permission or log a specific reason for access in the system.”
Taeyeon turned her head fully now.
The assistant met her eyes for half a second and dropped her gaze.
“You will request it,” Taeyeon said. “Reason: CEO visit for employee welfare inspection. If they question it, they can call me.”
“Yes, CEO Kim.”
“And bring the car around at eleven,” she added.
“You have Legal at ten thirty.”
“Move them to a call this afternoon,” she said. “Tell them I am occupied.”
The assistant nodded and backed out. The glass door closed with a soft click.
Taeyeon sat in her chair, opened her laptop, and stared at the screen for a moment without typing.
Her morning flowed in a rough line from there. Numbers. Contracts. Voices on calls. She moved through it all, but her eye caught the time every few minutes. 9:12. 9:35. 10:06.
At ten fifty, the assistant appeared at her door again.
“I have the address,” she said. “And the car is ready. I put the details in your calendar entry: ‘Site Visit’.”
Taeyeon stood and picked up her jacket.
“Tell anyone who asks that I went to check on injured staff from the accident,” she said. “It is accurate.”
The assistant nodded.
Taeyeon walked through the office, past the rows of desks. Her gaze slid once more over the empty spot in the second row. Someone had moved a stack of spare printer paper onto it. A stapler sat there too, untouched.
In the garage, the company sedan waited with the engine already on. The driver straightened when he saw her, then opened the rear door.
“Good morning, CEO Kim,” he said.
“Morning,” she answered, getting in.
He took his seat, checked his mirror. “We are going to the logistics hub.”
“No,” she said. “We are going to this address.”
She leaned forward and handed him her phone with the map open. He read it, eyes narrowing a fraction.
“That’s in Guro,” he said.
“Yes.”
He merged into the stream of vehicles leaving the garage.
The city changed as they drove.
The polished buildings of the business district gave way to older blocks. Glass fronts turned into concrete with faded paint. Signs hung crooked on rusted chains. The sidewalks narrowed. Street stalls appeared, metal frames and tarps pulled halfway open, vendors arranging produce and skewers.
Taeyeon watched without comment. Her eyes tracked small things. Cracked stairs. A twisted metal fence near an alley. Laundry rods jutting out of narrow windows with shirts hanging limp.
The car turned onto a side street that sloped down. Parked cars lined one side in a tight row. The driver had to slow to weave between a delivery truck and a dumpster.
He stopped in front of a six-story building with worn brick and a battered security door. The intercom wiring hung loose from a broken plastic case. Faded flyers covered one side of the entrance.
“This is the place,” the driver said.
Taeyeon looked up at the building. Several windows had cheap curtains. One had none at all, only a bare view into a room with a low table and a small TV.
“You can wait here,” she said.
“Yes, ma’am.”
She got out. The air carried a mix of exhaust, frying oil, and damp concrete. Somewhere close a dog barked, then went quiet.
She pushed the entrance door open. The hydraulic stuttered halfway, then gave way with a jerk. Inside, the stairwell smelled like old dust and someone’s recent cigarette. Paint peeled along the railing.
She checked the crumpled note the assistant had given her. Fifth floor. Unit 503.
There was an elevator at the end of the hall. The doors had a dent and a strip of tape across a panel. A handwritten sign read “Out of order.”
She took the stairs.
By the third floor, a thin line of sweat formed along her spine under the jacket. She kept her pace even. The stair treads felt slightly gritty under her soles from dried mud and dust.
She reached the fifth floor landing and looked at the worn metal numbers on each door.
A faint sound came from inside 503. Not a TV. A cough, muffled by walls.
She raised her hand and knocked.
Nothing.
She waited. The cough came again. A faint shuffle of feet.
The lock clicked. The door opened about ten centimeters, chain still in place.
Y/N peered out. His hair stuck up in several directions. His skin had a gray tinge. Sweat darkened the collar of his T-shirt. His eyes widened when he recognized her.
“CEO Kim,” he said. His voice came rough, like he had not used it much that day.
He coughed again, bringing his hand up to cover his mouth, then winced when the movement pulled at his stitched shoulder.
“What are you doing here,” he asked.
She looked at the chain. “Are you going to leave me outside.”
He blinked, then fumbled with the chain and pulled the door open wider.
“Sorry,” he said. “Come in. It’s kind of...”
He trailed off.
She stepped inside.
The entrance opened directly into a small main room. No hallway. On the right, a kitchenette with a narrow counter, a two-burner stove, and a small fridge with a dented door. On the left, a low table with one floor cushion. Against the far wall, a single bed with a thin blanket. A metal clothing rack stood beside it with a line of shirts and two pairs of pants.
There was no second pair of shoes by the entrance. Only his, worn and lined up alone on the mat.
The air felt thick. Not dirty, but still. Windows closed. No fan running. A cheap heater sat silent near the wall outlet.
Taeyeon’s eyes moved over the room in quick passes. Small trash bin half full. A mug on the table with the rim stained. Two instant noodle cups in the trash. Medication blister pack on the table with three pills missing.
“Sorry it’s a mess,” Y/N said. He shut the door and rubbed at his face with his good hand. His hair flattened, then sprang up again. “I didn’t expect... anyone.”
“You live alone,” she said.
He nodded, then paused.
“Yes,” he said. “It’s just me.”
A cough shook him again. He braced his hand on the table and bent forward until it passed.
“You’re burning,” she said. She moved closer, stopped just outside his reach. “Did you take your medicine.”
“Yeah, a couple hours ago,” he said. “It’ll drop soon. It always does.”
She picked up the blister pack from the table and checked the times printed on the back. She looked at the clock on his microwave.
“You took the night dose early,” she said.
He shrugged with one shoulder. “Felt like shit. Wanted to sleep.”
She set the medicine down.
“You ate,” she said.
He glanced at the trash bin. “Kind of.”
She stepped past him toward the kitchenette.
“You do not need to do that,” he said. “Seriously. You can sit. I can handle myself.”
She opened the fridge.
A half-used carton of eggs. One onion. A plastic container with rice. Bare shelves otherwise. No leftovers. No drinks besides tap water in a reused bottle.
She closed the door.
“Where are your parents,” she asked. She did not change her tone.
He stood near the table, hand resting there for balance. His eyes followed her.
“They’re gone,” he said.
“When.”
“Last year.” He breathed in shallow. “Car accident. Highway. A truck hit them.”
Her gaze shifted to the wall behind the bed.
A narrow shelf held a wooden frame with a photo. Two people in simple clothes, one man, one woman. Late middle age. The corners of the frame bore small strips of black cloth. Beside it, a small white ceramic box with a lid.
Y/N saw where she looked.
“That’s them,” he said. His voice came low. “Ashes. Couldn’t afford a bigger place or a plot yet. So they stay with me.”
He said it like he was reciting numbers.
Taeyeon took in the shelf. The careful way the frame had been positioned. The regular dust wiped clean around it, unlike the thin film on top of the closet rack.
He reached for the nearest chair that was not there, then laughed once when his hand hit empty air.
“Sorry,” he said. “No chairs. I didn’t have anyone to sit with.”
She turned back to the kitchenette.
“Sit on the bed,” she said. “You look like you might fall over.”
“I’m okay.”
She looked at him.
He sat on the bed.
She rolled up her sleeves one notch and moved to the sink. The sponge lay dry. She ran water over it, checked the tap temperature with her fingers, then pulled a pot from the narrow cabinet under the stove. A bit of dust coated the rim. She rinsed it out, set it on the burner, opened the rice container, and scooped some in.
“You really don’t have to cook,” he said from behind her. “I’ve been feeding myself for a while.”
“Quiet,” she said.
He coughed again instead.
She found salt in a small jar beside the stove, added a pinch. She peeled the onion with steady motions, chopped it into uneven pieces on the cutting board that had knife marks worn into one side. The knife was dull. She pressed hard.
She moved like she had done this before, not here, but somewhere.
The room filled with the smell of starch and onion as the water heated. Steam clouded the air above the pot.
Behind her, the bed creaked slightly as he shifted his weight. The faint sound of his breath came ragged but even.
She stirred the pot with a spoon that had a worn handle, then reached for a drawer with her other hand, feeling for a towel.
Her fingers brushed against a stack of white envelopes. The top one lay slightly open, paper inside thick and stiff.
She slid it aside to get to the towel, then paused at the sight of a logo printed on the envelope. A funeral company. The return address sat in neat print.
She pulled the drawer a little wider.
Electric bill. Hospital receipt. Funeral invoice with stamps across the top.
She let the drawer close again.
The rice broke down into porridge. She cut the heat and left it to settle.
“Do you have a bowl,” she asked.
“Cabinet above you,” he said. “Only two though. Don’t break them or I’ll have to drink from my hands.”
His humor came dry, with no lift.
She opened the cabinet. Two bowls. One cracked along the rim, held together by a faint line of glue. She took the intact one.
She ladled porridge into it, carried it to the table, and set it down. Steam rolled up toward her face.
“Eat,” she said.
He pushed himself off the bed, came over, and sat on the cushion at the low table. His knees creaked when he bent. He picked up the spoon with his good hand.
“Thanks,” he said. “For real. You didn’t need to come all the way out here.”
She stood on the other side of the table, watching.
“I wanted to know why you came to work with stitches and still carried full loads,” she said. “Now I know.”
He took a bite. The hot porridge hit his throat and made him cough once more. He covered his mouth with the back of his hand and waited for it to pass.
“I just work,” he said when he could speak again. “Rent doesn’t wait. Bills don’t wait. It’s not complicated.”
She studied the faint sag in his shoulders.
He ate again, slower.
Her eyes moved to the photo on the shelf, then back to his face marked by lack of sleep and heat.
She shifted her weight from one foot to the other and reached for the kettle without thinking, filled it with water, and set it on the stove.
—
The kettle clicked when the water reached boil.
The sound cut through the small room. Y/N’s head jerked up like he had forgotten something on the stove. Taeyeon turned the gas off before he could get up.
“Stay,” she said. “You are sweating through your shirt. You stand up too fast, you pass out, I will have to explain to HR why you cracked your skull on your rental floor. I do not have time for that report.”
He snorted once, then coughed. “You really talk to HR like that.”
“I talk to everyone like that,” she said.
She poured hot water into a chipped mug, swirled it, dumped it out to warm the ceramic, then filled it again and dropped a tea bag in. The string tore off when she pulled it from the box. She fished it out with a spoon and hooked the paper tab on the rim.
She brought the mug over and set it by his bowl.
He had eaten half. His shoulders looked a little lower. His skin still had a sick sheen.
“What is this,” he asked.
“Tea.”
He looked at it. “That’s expensive brand. My mom used to talk about it. I buy the cheap dust bag ones.”
“Drink it,” she said.
He wrapped his fingers around the mug. His hand shook a little. The heat soaked into his skin.
He sipped. His eyelids fluttered at the temperature.
He let the spoon rest in the porridge and breathed slow. Steam fogged the lower half of his face.
“You shouldn’t be here,” he said after a moment. “Work needs you. The whole company starts vibrating when you leave the floor.”
“I noticed you were not at your desk,” she said. “The company can wait.”
He looked up at her.
“No one’s ever said that sentence with my name in it,” he said.
She sat down on the bare floor across the table from him. Her knees bent, feet flat, skirt pulling tight across her thighs. She did it without ceremony, like she did not care about the state of the floor.
He blinked. “You don’t need to sit on the floor either. I can stand. You can use the bed.”
“I will not sit on your bed,” she said. “It is your only bed.”
He shifted his gaze away, back to his food. His ears went a little red.
Taeyeon watched him eat until his hand slowed. His breathing evened a bit. The fever still rode under his skin.
“Finish,” she said.
“Yes, boss,” he muttered, but his mouth twitched.
He scraped the last of the porridge out, then leaned back a little on one hand. The movement tugged his shoulder and he winced.
“Lie down,” she said. “You are done.”
He lifted himself and moved to the bed, sat, then swung his legs up and lay back. The mattress dipped. Springs creaked.
He stared at the ceiling.
“You should go,” he said. “Traffic will get bad. People will start bugging your phone.”
She looked at the screen of her own device. Several missed calls. Messages. She set it face down on the table.
“They already are,” she said. “They will live.”
“You don’t have to be nice to me just because I shoved you a little,” he said. “You’re the CEO. I’m the idiot who dropped files in your path on day two.”
“You prevented a fatal injury,” she said. “Nobody else moved. Do not reduce it.”
He rolled his head to the side, looked at her.
“You doing okay after that,” he asked. “You looked pretty calm at the hospital. But it must’ve fucked you up at least a bit. Almost getting flattened like that.”
Her jaw shifted.
“I am not made of glass,” she said. “I have seen worse.”
He frowned. “Like what.”
She shrugged once. “Business.”
He did not push. His gaze lingered on her face a second longer, then slid to the photo of his parents again.
“You really cooked,” he said. “When was the last time you did that for someone.”
She thought. Her mind flipped through years of clean office kitchens, catered lunches, prepped dinners waiting in neat containers in her fridge that she never touched.
“Too long,” she said.
He hummed, low in his throat.
His eyes closed for a moment. His chest rose and fell in a slow rhythm. The fever still burned, but the edge of it dulled.
“Sleep,” she said.
“You’ll still be here if I sleep,” he asked, eyes still behind his lids.
“Yes.”
He exhaled, long.
“Oh,” he said.
Then he went under, slow, breath by breath.
Taeyeon stayed where she was for a while, back propped against the wall, legs bent. The heater ticked once when its metal cooled. Outside, a motorcycle went by, engine rattling.
She watched his face relax. The tightness around his mouth eased. His hand flexed once on the blanket and then stilled.
She checked the time again and sent her assistant one line.
Out of office until 3. Handle all.
The reply came fast. Understood.
She put the phone away.
Her eyes went back to the shelf above his bed.
She stood up, careful not to bump the table, and stepped close.
The photo showed his parents at some kind of event. The man wore a plain suit, the woman a simple blouse. They stood in front of a backdrop of fake flowers. Both looked straight at the camera with tired faces and small, real smiles.
The urn beside the frame had a faint scratch near the lid, like it had fallen once and caught before it shattered.
Taeyeon reached out, stopped a centimeter from the photo, fingers hovering over the frame, then pulled her hand back.
She turned and looked at him again.
His forehead shone with sweat, but his breathing stayed even. One strand of hair stuck to his skin.
She went to the kitchenette, grabbed a clean hand towel from the drawer, wet it under the tap, rung it out until it just held water, then came back.
She sat on the edge of the bed. The mattress dipped. His body rolled half an inch toward her.
She pressed the cool cloth to his forehead.
He stirred, but did not wake. His mouth parted a little. His chest took a deeper breath.
She moved the cloth across his temple, down the side of his neck. Her fingers brushed his skin. Heat radiated from him.
“You work until you drop,” she said quietly. “Stupid.”
His eyelashes trembled. For a second, she thought he had heard. Then his face smoothed again.
She stayed like that. Cloth, water, check. Move to the sink. Wet again. Back to the bed. Time passed, measured only in the slow drip from the tap and the sound of traffic outside the thin window.
At some point, her phone vibrated again. She ignored it.
By the time the clock on the microwave flipped to 14:46, his skin felt cooler. His breath no longer scraped.
He blinked awake.
The first thing he saw was the ceiling. Then the curtain edge. Then he turned his head and saw her on the chair, one elbow on the table, looking straight at him.
“How long was I out,” he asked.
“Three hours,” she said.
“Shit,” he muttered. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to knock out on you like that.”
“You had a fever,” she said. “That is what bodies do.”
He swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up. He looked steadier now. The gray in his skin had eased. The sweat had dried and left a faint salt line on his neck.
“Did you sleep at all,” he asked.
“I do not need to sleep in your apartment,” she said.
“You just watched me,” he said.
“Yes.”
He scratched his cheek with his knuckles. “That’s creepy.”
“It kept you alive,” she said. “If you had started seizing, I would have called an ambulance.”
“Fair point,” he said. “Still sounds weird hearing ‘kept you alive’ in my studio.”
She stood.
“I have to go,” she said. “Meetings.”
“Right,” he said. “Real life. CEO stuff.”
He pushed himself to his feet and walked her to the door.
She stopped beside the entry mat and turned.
“Do you have food for tomorrow,” she asked.
“I’ll grab something from the corner shop,” he said. “Bread. Instant noodles. Same as always.”
“You will not come in,” she said. “Even if the fever is gone. That is an order.”
“I can at least work from home,” he said. “Send emails. Clean up reports.”
“Sleep,” she said. “Eat. That is your assignment.”
He looked like he wanted to argue. Then his gaze dropped to her shoes.
He sighed. “Okay. But just for tomorrow.”
She nodded once.
He opened the door for her. Cool air from the hallway slipped in. It smelled like frying food and someone’s incense down the hall.
“Thanks,” he said. “For the food. And the towel thing. And... everything.”
She met his eyes.
“Next time you plan to almost die for my sake, inform me first,” she said.
He smiled. Small. Real.
“I’ll add it to my calendar,” he said.
She stepped into the hall. The door closed behind her with a soft latch.
—
The next week settled into a different shape.
Y/N returned to work two days later. The sling stayed on, but he typed with one hand and used the voice dictation function when the reports got too long.
People in the office stared when he walked in. Some nodded stiffly. A few avoided looking at the scar under the edge of his shirt sleeve.
Manager Park kept checking him over like he expected him to break.
“You good,” Park asked on the third day back, standing awkwardly at the side of Y/N’s desk.
“I’m alive,” Y/N said. “Doc said I can lift light stuff. So I won’t volunteer for warehouse shifts.”
“Good,” Park said. “Stay away from Logistics. That place is cursed.”
Taeyeon’s behavior shifted in smaller ways.
She still walked the floors with the same pace. People still stiffened when they heard her approach. Meetings still ran tight and cutthroat. She still tore through bad proposals with a few clipped sentences that left senior managers sweating.
But she stopped by Y/N’s desk twice a day.
The first time each morning, she would pause just long enough to look at his hand and ask, “Pain level.”
He would answer with a number. “Three.” “Five when I move too much.” “Two today.”
She would nod and move on.
The second time, usually late afternoon, she would ask, “Medication.”
“Already took it at lunch,” he would say. Or, “Forgot. I’ll do it now.”
Her eyes would narrow when he said he forgot. He stopped forgetting.
Whispers started.
“Why is she always there.”
“He must know something.”
“Did he blackmail her.”
“Maybe she feels guilty.”
Y/N ignored most of it. He had other things to think about. Rent. The next electric bill. The quiet of his apartment when he opened the door each night.
On Friday, he stayed back late to finish a stack of cost comparison sheets. The office thinned out. Desks emptied. The cleaner rolled her cart past with a rag hanging off the side.
Lights dimmed over the far cubicles when the motion sensors timed out. Only a strip of ceiling fixtures above his row stayed bright.
He rubbed his eyes with his thumb and index finger.
“Still here,” a voice said.
He jumped in his chair. The spreadsheet on his monitor blurred.
Taeyeon stood at the corner of his cubicle.
“I thought you left,” he said.
“You did not check,” she said. “You were staring at numbers like they might attack you.”
He glanced at the clock. “Shit. It’s eight.”
“Yes,” she said. “You are on hourly wages. Why are you still here.”
“Overtime,” he said. “Park gave clearance.”
She stepped closer, eyes flicking to the monitor.
“You can do that Monday,” she said. “This company will not fall apart because you delayed a file.”
“I’m in the zone,” he said. “If I stop now, I’ll lose the thread.”
“Do not glorify exhaustion,” she said. “Go home.”
He hesitated.
“Is that a request or an order,” he asked.
She tilted her head. “You are pushing.”
“Just clarifying my options.”
She watched him for a beat, then pulled a spare chair from the neighboring desk and sat next to him.
“Finish this row,” she said, looking at the spreadsheet. “Then you stop. I will see you stop.”
He looked at her, then at the screen, then shrugged. “Okay.”
He worked through the remaining line. Her presence at his side felt solid, not heavy. Oddly grounding. He could smell a faint hint of something from her, not perfume, not shampoo. Clean skin. Office air.
He hit save and closed the file.
She nodded, like he had passed some test.
“Good,” she said. “Pack up.”
He slid his few belongings into his bag. Cheap earphones. A battered notebook. His employee ID lanyard.
He stood. So did she.
They walked toward the elevator together in the near-empty floor.
At the doors, he pressed the button. The light flicked on.
“You going down,” he asked.
“Yes,” she said.
“Thought you had the secret executive elevator only,” he said.
“I am not the president of a small country,” she said. “Just a company. Sometimes I use the same elevator as everyone else.”
The doors opened. They stepped in. The space felt bigger with only the two of them.
The car started down. Numbers blinked by.
He glanced at her reflection in the stainless steel wall. She looked straight ahead, hands relaxed at her sides.
“Why are you like this to me,” he asked suddenly.
Her eyes shifted to his reflection.
“Like what,” she said.
“Checking on me. Coming to my place. Watching me sleep like a horror movie villain,” he said. “You’re not like that with anyone else on the floor. Everyone’s terrified of you. You know that, right.”
“Yes,” she said.
“So why me.”
She turned her head fully now and looked at him, not at the reflection.
“You pulled me out from under a falling object,” she said. “You did it without thinking, without calculating what you might gain. That is one part.”
“And the other part,” he asked.
“You live alone in a cramped apartment with an urn on a shelf,” she said. “You come to work with stitches and still worry about carrying your share so nobody thinks you are weak. You get sick and you take early doses of cheap medicine so you can go back faster. You do not complain. You do not ask for help. That is stupid, but it is also...”
She stopped a half second, searching for a word.
“Honest,” she said.
He leaned back against the wall. The car vibrated slightly.
“That still doesn’t explain why you give a shit,” he said. “Most bosses would thank me once and forget I exist.”
“I remember who holds my life in their hands,” she said.
Silence in the small space.
The elevator dinged and the doors slid open to the ground floor.
They stepped out into the lobby. Night staff at the reception desk glanced up and then quickly away.
Y/N walked toward the exit. Taeyeon kept pace beside him.
Outside, the air held the cool bite of early night. The office towers glowed. Traffic roared along the main road.
“You driving,” he asked.
“My car is there,” she said, nodding toward the side where a black sedan waited under the overhang.
“I take the subway,” he said. “Cheaper. No one cares if I smell like toner.”
He started toward the stairs that led down to the underground station. She reached out and caught his sleeve.
Her fingers gripped the cloth near his wrist. He stopped and looked back.
“Get in the car,” she said.
He raised an eyebrow. “You always this pushy outside the office too.”
“Especially outside,” she said. “You still have stitches. You get bumped on a crowded train, you tear them, you bleed all over your cheap shirt, you end up back in the hospital. I do not want that phone call. Get in the car.”
He studied her face.
“You don’t want that because you’d feel guilty,” he said. “Or because it would screw up your schedules again.”
“Both,” she said. “Move.”
He laughed once, short.
“Fine,” he said. “One ride. I’m not turning into your pet project.”
“If you were a project,” she said, “I would not start with transportation.”
He squinted at her. “What would you start with then.”
She let his sleeve go. “Come.”
He followed her to the car.
The driver opened the rear door without comment. They got in. Y/N gave his address. Taeyeon already knew it.
They rode in relative quiet. The city passed in streaks of light and shadow outside.
He watched her reflection in the window. Her gaze stayed on the road ahead, not on her phone for once.
“Do you ever relax,” he asked.
She did not look away from the windshield.
“I am sitting,” she said. “Is that not enough.”
“Sitting and waiting to work again is not relaxing,” he said. “You ever do nothing. No schedule. No target.”
“When I am sick,” she said.
“When was the last time,” he asked.
She thought.
“Five years,” she said.
He whistled. “That’s sad.”
“I do not have time to be sad,” she said.
He looked out the window again. His reflection faded as they passed under a short tunnel.
“I don’t have time either,” he said. “But it still shows up.”
She turned her head slightly at that, then faced forward again.
The car pulled up in front of his building.
He reached for the door handle.
“Thanks,” he said. “For the lift.”
“Text my assistant if your fever comes back,” she said.
He paused. “You want me to text your assistant about my temperature.”
“Yes,” she said. “She will forward anything relevant to me.”
He shook his head, half amused. “You’re something else, you know that.”
He got out and shut the door.
She watched him climb the stairs and disappear inside. His figure shrank in the side mirror.
The driver looked at her through the rearview.
“Back to the office, ma’am,” he said.
She kept her eyes on the entrance door for one more second, then nodded.
“Yes.”
—
The slow change continued.
She noticed small things first. The way he adjusted his chair height by a single notch when he came in, then by another in the afternoon when his back grew tight. The way he straightened the pile of shared stationery on the common shelf without comment. The way he listened more than he spoke in meetings, but when he did speak, his points hit clean.
He noticed things too.
He saw that she cracked her knuckles once under the table before heavy negotiations, where no board member could see. He saw that she sometimes flipped her pen cap between her fingers when she pretended to read a file she already knew by heart. He saw how she rolled her shoulders in small circles after three hours of back-to-back calls, as if resetting herself for another round.
She still scared everyone else.
But for him, the fear dulled. Not gone. But different. He still respected that she could fire him with a word. He had seen her cut a Senior VP down to size in a meeting over a missing clause. He had watched her eyes go dead cold when a supplier tried to play games with contract terms.
He knew the Ice Queen.
He had also seen her standing in his cramped kitchen with rolled-up sleeves and a cheap pot in her hands.
The two images sat side by side in his head.
On a Thursday evening, about three weeks after the accident, she called him into her office.
Her assistant gave him a brief warning at his desk. “CEO Kim wants you. Now.”
He walked in.
She sat behind her desk with a stack of files to her left and an open spreadsheet on her laptop. The city lit up behind her through the glass.
He stood in front of the desk with his hands at his sides.
“You wanted me,” he said.
She looked up.
“Yes,” she said. “Close the door.”
He did.
She tapped a folder with two fingers.
“You know Supplier B,” she said.
“Yeah,” he said. “I helped collate the penalty clauses last week.”
“They tried to sneak a change into the document,” she said. “Legal caught it. We are cutting them. I want you to sit in and watch tomorrow’s call. Learn. Take notes. See what incompetence looks like under pressure.”
He blinked. “Why me. That’s above my pay grade.”
“You will take the promotion path in six months,” she said. “You need exposure.”
“I never said I wanted a promotion,” he said.
“You work like you do,” she said. “You do not take breaks you are owed. You do more than assigned. That is either ambition or stupidity. I choose to believe ambition.”
He scratched his neck. “Maybe I’m just poor.”
“That too,” she said.
She slid a printed agenda across the desk. He stepped closer to take it.
His finger brushed hers.
The contact was brief, but his skin registered the dry warmth of her hand. Her fingers were rougher than he expected near the middle joint, likely from years of holding pens instead of tools.
He pulled the agenda back. She withdrew her hand.
“We start at nine sharp,” she said. “If you are late, you are out for the next round.”
“I’ll camp outside the door,” he said.
“You will not. You will arrive at eight fifty-six. Not earlier. Not later.”
He grinned. “You really measure by the minute.”
“Time is the only thing I cannot buy,” she said.
His grin faded a little at that.
He took a breath.
“Why are you so hard on yourself,” he asked. “You’re already at the top. Who are you racing.”
She held his stare.
“Myself,” she said.
He opened his mouth to ask more, then shut it when he saw something close off behind her eyes.
She returned to her laptop.
“You can go,” she said.
He turned to leave. His foot caught on the edge of the rug under the first guest chair. The rug corner had curled up from years of chair legs rolling over it.
His body pitched forward.
He grunted and tried to catch himself on the arm of the chair. His hand slipped. His center of gravity tipped too far.
He crashed into the desk.
The surface hit his thigh. The files near the edge shook. The agenda fluttered to the floor.
He reached out to steady himself, fingers scrambling for purchase.
Taeyeon stood up on reflex, chair rolling back with a rattle. She reached out. Her hands caught his upper arms at the same moment his knee hit the floor and lost strength.
The momentum pulled her forward.
Her hip hit the front of the desk. Her foot slid on the smooth tile. The force dragged her off-balance.
They went down together.
Her knees hit the ground on either side of his thigh. Her hands slid from his arms to his shoulders. His back hit the floor flat.
Her weight came down on top of him.
The breath left his chest in one solid expulsion. “Fuck.”
His hands flew to her waist by instinct, gripping fabric to keep her from slamming her face into his.
She did not. Her palms hit the floor near his head, arms locked. Her hair fell forward over one shoulder.
Their faces stopped a handful of centimeters apart.
Silence.
He stared up. She stared down.
He could see every line in her eyes. The sharp ring of her iris. The thin red threads from long days. Tiny flecks of darker color near the pupil.
Her breath hit his mouth. Steady. Not rushed. But he felt the faint hitch in it from the sudden movement.
One of his hands went from gripping her blazer to the side of her waist. Not a decision. Just gravity and muscle.
Her knee pressed lightly along the outside of his hip. The desk edge dug into her back where she half braced herself against it.
“Sorry,” he said, voice low. “Rug attacked me.”
“No,” she said. “You attacked you.”
He huffed out a weak laugh.
They did not move.
His chest rose and fell under her. Not touching fully, but close. The air between them felt too full.
Her gaze drifted from his eyes to his mouth, then back up.
He caught the motion. His fingers tightened slightly on her waist.
Her jaw clenched once.
“Get up,” she said.
“Yeah,” he answered, but neither of them shifted.
Her arms trembled a little from holding herself above him.
“Can’t really move with you pinning my legs,” he said, tone a shade rougher.
She glanced down, saw the way her knees boxed him in, and adjusted without thinking. Her hips dropped a little to free his legs.
The movement brought her closer.
Her chest brushed his.
Both stilled.
His hand on her waist slid a fraction, thumb dragging across the fabric where shirt met skin under the hem of her blazer.
She inhaled.
“CEO Kim,” he said. It came out thick. “We should probably not be on the floor like this.”
“Probably,” she said.
She did not get up.
Her face hovered over his, all calculation stripped away for one exposed second.
He saw it. The moment something broke ranks inside her quiet control.
She leaned down and kissed him.
There was no warning. No slow lean-in. One second her mouth hovered above his. The next, her lips pressed against his in a firm, direct contact.
His eyes opened wide for a half-second, then shut.
Her mouth moved against his with a certain, focused pressure. No rush. No hesitation. She knew what she was doing. She just had made the choice in a snap.
Heat flushed through his body, not from fever this time.
He kissed her back.
His hand on her waist dragged her closer. The other lifted, cupped the side of her neck at the base of her skull. His thumb found the line of tendon there.
Her lips parted. His did too.
Their tongues met. The contact shot straight through his ribs.
She made a small noise in her throat. Not soft. More like a sharp exhale that caught.
He rolled his shoulder, trying to shift them, but the desk leg blocked his elbow. The angle trapped him half under her, half angled toward the chair.
She broke the kiss just long enough to suck in a quick breath, then went back in, deeper.
He felt her fingers flex against the floor by his head. Then one hand lifted, slid along his jaw, and gripped the side of his face.
She kissed like she argued. Direct. No wasted movement.
His head hit the floor once, lightly, as her hand shifted, and they both grunted against each other’s mouths.
She pulled back a fraction. Their foreheads almost touched.
Her eyes looked darker now. Pupils wide. Her mouth sat slightly open.
“This is a bad idea,” he said quietly.
“Yes,” she said.
Her gaze dropped to his mouth again.
He swallowed.
“You going to stop,” he asked.
“No,” she said.
She kissed him again.
This time, slower.
Her body lowered. Her weight settled more fully on his torso. He felt the press of her thighs along his hips. The line of her ribs under her shirt against his chest.
His back registered the hard floor but his brain filed it away as unimportant.
He slid his hand from her neck into her hair. The strands felt smooth, a bit coarse at the ends from constant straightening. He gripped gently and tilted her head for a better angle.
She accepted the motion without resistance, followed his pull, deepened the kiss.
Her free hand moved from his face down his chest, tracing the line of his shirt buttons. She stopped at the first one and paused, breathing hard into his mouth.
He pulled back a hair’s width and looked at her.
“You sure,” he said. “We cross this line, we can’t uncross it.”
She searched his expression, reading for something. Fear. Doubt. Regret.
“I do not cross lines I cannot own,” she said.
He held her stare for a beat, then nodded.
“Okay,” he said.
Her fingers slipped under his shirt. Skin met skin.
The door handle clicked.
Both froze.
The latch turned a few centimeters before hitting the lock she had set by habit.
“CEO Kim?” Her assistant’s voice came through the wood. “Legal is waiting on the Supplier B call. Should I tell them you will be late?”
Taeyeon’s eyes locked on Y/N’s. Their chests rose and fell in sync. Her hand still rested flat against his bare skin.
She swallowed once.
“Ten minutes,” she said. Her voice came out even. “Tell them I am in another discussion.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Footsteps moved away.
They lay there a second longer.
Then Taeyeon pushed herself up. She moved off him with care, like she was unsticking herself from a surface. She stood, straightened her blazer, smoothed her shirt where it had wrinkled.
Y/N stayed on the floor, breathing steady, staring at the ceiling.
“Get up,” she said.
He sat up, then pushed to his feet. His knees cracked. His shirt hung open at the top. He buttoned it with slightly clumsy fingers.
Neither spoke.
The air in the room felt thicker now.
She walked around the desk, sat down, and twisted her chair back into place. She looked at him.
“We crossed a line,” she said.
“Yeah,” he said. “We did.”
Silence again. Not comfortable. Not hostile. Charged.
“Close the rug corner,” she said, a fraction too brisk. “Someone will really break their neck next time.”
He bent, flipped the rug edge under itself, pressing it flat with his palm.
“And us,” he said, still crouched. “What do we do about this.”
She took a slow breath.
“You return to your desk,” she said. “You work. We both think. We do not pretend it did not happen.”
He straightened. “So we just park it.”
“For now,” she said. “I have a call in eight minutes. You have numbers to clean.”
He studied her face. It had settled back into the usual set: flat, contained. But he could see the extra color at her neck, the faint swell of her bottom lip.
“This isn’t over,” he said.
“No,” she said. “It is not.”
He nodded once and went to the door.
“Y/N,” she called just before he opened it.
He half-turned.
“You asked why I am like this with you,” she said.
“Yeah.”
“I still do not have a complete answer,” she said. “But I know one thing.”
“What.”
“I do not want anyone else touching you like I just did,” she said. “Figure out what that means on your own time.”
His hand tightened on the handle.
He felt a small, fierce spike of something in his chest at her words. Possessive. Raw.
“Guess I’m not the only stupid one,” he said.
“Apparently not,” she said.
He stepped out and closed the door.
—
The next days sat heavier.
The kiss hung between them like a third person in the room.
They did not talk about it. They did not repeat it.
In meetings, she treated him like any other junior. She assigned tasks, cut his sloppy phrasing, made him restart a presentation twice when he misordered his own slides.
On the floor, she did the usual rounds. People still went stiff when she passed. She walked right by him sometimes without stopping.
Other times, she paused just a second at his desk, adjusting a file, asking a direct question, then leaving.
Her face stayed cold. Her tone stayed work.
But the small changes grew.
She started taking her coffee at the same time he came back from the break room. They would find themselves at the machine together, side by side, watching the stream fill the paper cups.
“You drink this,” she said once, eyeing his instant mix.
“It’s free,” he said. “Tastes like regret, but it keeps me awake.”
She took one sip of her own, grimaced slightly, and handed him her cup.
“Switch,” she said. “Yours is worse.”
He laughed. They swapped.
In the elevator, when it was crowded, she stood in front like usual, shoulders squared, gaze ahead.
But if someone jostled him too hard from behind in the press, her eyes would flick to the mirror. One sharp look at the offender. A small shift of her body to block the contact.
At lunch one day, he stood in line at the cafeteria holding a tray with rice and soup. The place buzzed. Forks scraped. People murmured in low, careful tones.
A tray slid into place beside his. He looked over.
Taeyeon stared at the options without expression.
“You eat here now,” he asked.
“I own this food,” she said. “Sometimes I should taste what I pay for.”
He watched her pick plain rice, grilled fish, kimchi. No dessert.
“You can afford better,” he said.
She glanced at his plate. “So can you.”
“Not on my salary,” he said.
“I pay you,” she said. “I know exactly what you can and cannot afford.”
He shook his head. “You sound like my landlord.”
She gave a low huff that might have been a laugh.
They ended up at the same table. People at nearby tables glanced, then looked away fast.
They ate mostly in silence. It was not strained. Just full.
When he spilled a bit of soup near his tray, his hand jerked.
She reached over with a napkin and wiped it up without comment, tossed the napkin aside, then went back to her fish.
He faltered for half a second, caught off-guard by the small, automatic care.
“What,” she said.
“Nothing,” he said. “Didn’t peg you as the cleanup type.”
“I do not like sticky surfaces,” she said.
He smirked. “Sure.”
Slow burn.
The weeks rolled.
She saw more of his life in glimpses.
On a Saturday, a rare one where he was not drafted for overtime, she texted his phone for the first time. The screen lit up with an unknown number.
This is Kim Taeyeon. CEO. Come downstairs.
He stared at the message, then leaned out his window. The street showed only parked cars and a few people walking dogs.
He answered. You outside my building?
Yes.
He debated not going. Then his curiosity kicked in.
He grabbed a hoodie and went down.
She stood near a convenience store at the corner, baseball cap pulled low, plain jacket zipped.
“You look like you’re hiding from debt collectors,” he said.
“Paparazzi,” she said. “Investors. Same category.”
“What are you doing here on a weekend,” he asked.
“I was in the area,” she said. “Site visit. Thought of you.”
He eyed her. “You don’t do unplanned social calls.”
“Apparently I do now,” she said. “Walk with me.”
They moved down the side street together. Leaves crunched under their shoes. Kids yelled somewhere on a higher floor, unseen.
“You eat,” she asked.
“Instant noodles,” he said.
She clicked her tongue. “You will die before we can promote you.”
“I thought you liked stupid risk,” he said.
“Not on my staff,” she said.
She turned into a small restaurant he had passed a hundred times without entering. Steamed-up windows. Metal tables. Handwritten menu taped to the wall.
He hesitated at the doorway. “I can’t afford this place often.”
“I can,” she said. “Sit.”
They sat at a corner table. A server brought water and banchan. Kimchi, pickled radish, beans.
Taeyeon ordered with quick, clear words. Two kimchi stew, extra rice, one grilled pork.
“You didn’t ask what I want,” he said.
“You want cooked food,” she said. “You will eat it.”
He did.
They talked about nothing at first. Work gossip. A strange email from Legal. A broken printer.
Then she asked, “Why Marketing.”
He shrugged. “Started as data entry. Spots opened. I know spreadsheets. They moved me.”
“You wanted something else,” she said.
“Didn’t have the luxury to want,” he said. “Needed a job fast when my parents died. This one paid on time. That’s all.”
She nodded. No sympathy words. No pity.
“You,” he asked. “How’d you end up on the top floor.”
She chewed a bite of meat, swallowed.
“Family business,” she said. “Father built it. I took it. That is the short version.”
“Long version,” he said.
“Not today,” she said.
He let it go.
After they ate, she pulled out her wallet.
He stopped her hand. “At least let me cover my share.”
“No,” she said.
“You can’t keep paying for everything,” he said. “There’s a line somewhere.”
“I decide the line,” she said. “I invited you. I pay. Next time you invite, you can pay, if you feel so strongly.”
“Next time,” he repeated.
“Yes,” she said, as if it was obvious.
They left together. At the corner where their paths split, she stopped.
He turned toward his building. “See you Monday, CEO Kim.”
She reached out and caught the cuff of his hoodie.
He turned back.
She stepped closer. Not much. Just one step.
“Here,” she said.
She raised her hand, touched the side of his face with her palm. Her thumb brushed the hollow under his eye.
He froze.
Then she leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to his mouth.
No heat like the office floor. No rush. Just a firm contact, short and precise.
She pulled back.
“Text my assistant when you get sick,” she said. “Not the company hotline. They will make you fill forms.”
He blinked. “That’s what this was about.”
“No,” she said. “That was just extra.”
She let go of his cuff and walked away.
He touched his lips once, then went inside.
—
The rain kept drumming against the floor-to-ceiling glass like it wanted in. Y/N rolled his neck, vertebrae popping, and glanced across the empty executive wing. Only one light still burned—her office, the door cracked just enough to spill a warm stripe across the dark carpet.
He shouldn’t have gone. He knew better. But the pull had been growing for weeks: the extra “Y/N, look at this,” the way her fingers brushed his when she handed him files, the way she lingered in the elevator just long enough that the doors tried to close on them twice. Clingy didn’t fit the ice-queen image she wore like armor in every boardroom on the continent. Yet here he was, walking toward that light anyway.
He knocked once, pushed the door wider.
Taeyeon sat on the low leather couch by the window, laptop glowing on the coffee table, jacket tossed over the armrest. White shirt sleeves rolled to her elbows, top two buttons undone, the delicate lace edge of a black bra just visible. No makeup left except a faint smudge of liner. She looked exhausted in the best way—soft, human, stripped of every shield she carried downstairs.
“You look like shit,” he said, voice low.
One perfect eyebrow arched. “Bold, even for you.”
“Only when my boss forgets she’s allowed to be tired.” He shut the door, locked it with a quiet click that felt louder than it should. Then he crossed the room and dropped onto the opposite end of the couch, leaving deliberate space between them.
She studied him for a long second, then closed the laptop. The room fell into rain-muffled silence.
“Come here,” she ordered, softer than usual.
“I’m right here.”
“Closer.”
He slid over until their thighs pressed together through thin fabric. She exhaled, leaned back, and let her head drop to the cushions. For the first time he could remember, her shoulders actually sagged. Then her arm lifted, hovered, and settled across his chest like she’d been waiting weeks to do it. She shifted, burrowed, until her cheek rested against his shoulder and her nose brushed the side of his throat.
He went statue-still.
“You okay?” he asked.
“I’m tired,” she admitted, voice muffled against his shirt.
“No shit.”
Her fingers curled into the cotton over his sternum, gripping hard enough he felt her nails. “Stay.”
He wrapped his free arm around her waist, palm spreading wide over the small of her back. She fit against him like she’d been carved for the space. Small, compact, all coiled strength finally letting go.
“You’re clingy when no one’s looking,” he murmured, lips against her hair.
“Yes.” No denial. Just the word, raw.
“Kind of cute.”
She pinched his side, hard. “Never say that where anyone can hear.”
“In private?”
She didn’t answer with words. Instead her hand fisted tighter in his shirt, pulling him even closer.
They stayed like that for long minutes—city lights glittering below, rain streaking the glass, the wall clock ticking like a heartbeat. He felt the exact moment her breathing slowed, the rigid line of her spine melting under his arm. When he shifted for comfort, she followed, nose dragging along his neck, lips parting against his skin on a quiet sigh.
“Y/N.”
“Yeah.”
“If anyone sees us like this…”
“They already talk,” he said. “Let them choke on it.”
Her mouth curved against his throat. “You’re bold tonight.”
“You started it.” He turned his head, pressed a slow kiss to the crown of her head. Shampoo and faint office coffee—something that was purely her.
She tilted up. Their eyes locked, inches apart. No desk, no hierarchy, no audience. Just heat and rain and the low thrum of something that had been building for months.
He leaned in first.
The kiss was slow, deliberate—lips parting, tongues sliding, tasting. Her hand slid from his chest to the back of his neck, fingers threading into his hair. The other arm wrapped around his ribs like she was afraid he’d vanish. He cupped the nape of her neck, thumb stroking the soft skin behind her ear until she shivered.
When he finally pulled back, forehead resting on hers, they were both breathing harder.
“We really doing this?” he asked.
“Yes.” No hesitation. “I’ve decided. I claim you.”
He laughed under his breath. “You make it sound like a merger.”
“It is. You’re mine now. Under my protection. My problem. Mine.”
“Possessive.”
“Extremely.” Her voice had gone husky.
He curled his fingers around the back of her neck and kissed her again, deeper. She pushed him back until he was stretched along the couch and she was half-draped over him, knee sliding between his thighs. Her shirt rode up; he felt warm skin against his belt. The kiss turned filthy—wet, open-mouthed, tongues fucking each other while her hips rolled once, slow and deliberate, grinding her pelvis against the growing bulge in his slacks.
His hands roamed her back, finding every knot along her spine and pressing until she moaned into his mouth, low and broken.
“Don’t make that sound unless you want me to fuck you right here on this couch,” he warned, voice rough.
“Idiot,” she breathed, but her hips rolled again, harder.
He laughed, flipped them in one smooth motion. The couch creaked dangerously. Now he had her under him, her legs parting around his hips, skirt rucked up to her thighs. He kissed along her jaw, down the column of her throat, sucking lightly at the spot that made her back arch.
“Careful,” she gasped. “If we break Accounting’s precious couch—”
“We’ll expense it as ‘structural reinforcement.’” He bit her earlobe, then soothed it with his tongue. “Or we could just go somewhere with a real bed.”
She stilled, eyes dark. “Your place.”
“My shoebox apartment.”
“I know.” Her fingers traced his jaw. “I want to see it again. With you inside me this time.”
His cock twitched hard against her thigh. “Fuck. Say it again.”
“Take me home, Y/N. And fuck me in your bed until I forget every meeting on my calendar.”
They left separately—two minutes apart, professional masks back in place. But when her sleek black sedan pulled up at the corner, he was already waiting. He slid into the passenger seat. Her hand found his immediately, fingers lacing tight. Neither of them spoke the entire ride, but the air crackled.
At his building she followed him up the narrow stairs without a word. Inside the tiny studio, she kicked off her heels, looked around once—same rumpled bed, same shelf with the single photo and urn—and then grabbed his hoodie, yanked him down, and kissed him like she was starving.
He walked her backward until her knees hit the mattress. They fell together in a tangle of limbs and half-laughed curses. Clothes came off in frantic, greedy pulls: her shirt, his hoodie, her bra, his belt. When she was naked beneath him—pale skin flushed pink, nipples tight, thighs already slick—he took a second just to look.
“Fuck, Taeyeon,” he breathed. “You’re beautiful.”
“Stop staring and touch me.”
He did. Hands everywhere—cupping her breasts, thumbs circling stiff peaks until she moaned. Then lower, sliding between her legs. She was soaked, pussy lips swollen and glossy. Two fingers sank in easily; her walls clenched around them like a fist. He curled, stroked, found the spot that made her hips jerk and her breath stutter.
“More,” she demanded, voice wrecked.
He gave her three fingers, pumping slow and deep while his thumb circled her clit. She rode his hand shamelessly, head thrown back, throat exposed. When she came the first time it was sudden—body locking, pussy fluttering, a broken cry tearing from her lips as she gushed around his fingers.
He didn’t wait. He shoved his pants down, cock springing free—thick, heavy, leaking at the tip. She wrapped her hand around him, stroked once, twice, then guided him to her entrance.
“Inside me. Now.”
He thrust in one smooth stroke, burying himself to the hilt in tight, wet heat. They both groaned. For a moment he stayed still, forehead pressed to hers, just feeling her pulse around his cock.
Then she rolled her hips. “Move.”
He fucked her slow at first—deep, grinding strokes that dragged over every sensitive spot inside her. She wrapped her legs around his waist, heels digging into his ass, urging him deeper. The bed creaked in rhythm with their bodies. Skin slapped. Her nails raked down his back hard enough to leave marks.
“Harder,” she gasped. “I won’t break.”
He gave it to her—hips snapping, cock pounding into her slick cunt over and over. She met every thrust, moaning his name like a prayer. When he reached between them and rubbed her clit again she shattered a second time, pussy clamping down so tight he saw stars.
“Fuck—Taeyeon—I'm gonna cum—”
“Inside,” she ordered, voice raw. “Fill me.”
He buried himself deep and came with a guttural groan, cock pulsing as he pumped rope after thick rope of cum into her. She milked him through it, hips rolling lazily until he was spent.
They collapsed, sweaty and trembling. He stayed inside her, softening slowly while she stroked his hair.
“You okay?” he whispered against her temple.
“Better than okay.” She nuzzled his chest. “You?”
“Yeah. Perfect.”
She burrowed closer, leg thrown over his hip, keeping him nestled inside her even as he softened. The clinginess was back full force—arms wrapped around him, face pressed to his neck, breathing him in like he was oxygen.
“You really are clingy,” he teased, voice gentle.
“Shut up.” She pinched his side, but there was no heat in it.
He laughed softly, then sobered. “You’re mine now, too. Not just the other way around.”
She was quiet long enough he thought she might argue. Then: “Fine. We belong to each other.”
“Say it again.”
“Don’t push it.”
He pinched her ass. She yelped, then laughed—low, warm, real.
“We belong to each other,” she repeated, softer this time, like the words tasted new.
Later, when his alarm buzzed for the late-night meds on the nightstand, she reached over him without being asked, silenced the phone, and pressed the pill into his palm.
“Take it.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She elbowed him. “Not here. Here I’m just Taeyeon.”
He swallowed the pill, then pulled her back down against his chest. “Taeyeon,” he murmured into her hair.
She hummed, pleased, and tightened her arms around him like she never planned to let go.
Outside, the city kept moving. Inside the tiny apartment, the rain kept falling, and the woman who ruled half the corporate world clung to him like he was the only thing that mattered.
And for the first time in years, she slept without setting an alarm.
A/N: ODD made me loop 100 times in the first a few days after it came out. And I cried reading the lyrics. I wrote when I cried, so here we are. It is a *FLUFF* one-shot dedicated to sanbae Gaeul and I hope you all enjoy :)
Word count: 7.4K
“Jamais vu (French for "never seen") is the, often unsettling, experience of feeling intense unfamiliarity with a person, word, or place that is actually well-known to you.”
“Here is the key, rent is due the 1st of each month and you pay your own utilities.” The middle-aged landlord hands me the key to my new home, “And you do share this apartment with another roommate, they’ve been here for a while already, you guys can talk on your own. I have to take care of stuff from other residents.” He gives me a firm handshake, before turning his body and walking toward his car in heavy breaths. The keys feel cold on my palm despite it being a summer afternoon, like a freezing stare that warns me I don’t belong to here yet.
I am an odd one. Kicked out because I said no to med school and no to my parents’ university list. Now I’m here—suburban apartment, dining-hall shifts, and monthly phone lectures by parents disguised as “charity.” Well, I have to take it because if I can get some money from them while getting lectured, why not? Survival is the plan. Future? TBD. Maybe after I survive the final couple months of community college and pay back my loans.
“Sigh, I guess I am on my own now.” The messy thoughts just won’t shut up in my brain, so I prop the apartment door open and start unloading my luggage from the car I borrowed from a friend. Inside, the hallway light flickers once, then steadies. Someone is already home.
-
“Hey! You must be my new roommate! Nice to meet you, my name is Gaeul.” By the time I step back inside with the last bag, a girl is already standing by the kitchen island, greeting me with a warm smile. Her outfit is very casual, a simply white T-shirt with an unzipped jacket and pair of jeans. Her eyes winks behind her glasses – makeup minimal, long hair that’s dyed pink naturally fall to the side of her shoulders.
“Oh hey! Sorry for getting stuff messy! Hi Gaeul, nice to meet you too!” I quickly introduce myself, and based on the conversation, Gaeul should be my noona. And indeed, I can catch a bit of those caring vibes inside her.
“Are you still in school? Or what do you do for a living?” Gaeul hands me a cup of ice water, perfect for this hot weather. I finish half of the cup in one big gulp, explaining how I ended up here.
“Aw… parental pressure, I see.” Her smile is still genuine, no judges, no comments, just welcoming and polite. “How about you? Gaeul-noona, what do you do?” I shut the door behind me as I finally move the last luggage inside of the apartment.
“You don’t have to be so formal, Gaeul is fine.” She giggles, cheeks tinting just a little. “And me? I write songs, and I sing.”
“Ah, so you are a musician!” I respond.
“Hehehe… part time musician is more accurate, gotta pay the bills first, you know.” Gaeul laughs shyly, like I just handed her the biggest compliment in years. “Most of the time I work at that pub across the block, serving, cashier kinda stuff.”
“I see I see, well, I gotta start tidying up my stuff before it gets too late. Will talk to you more later!” I give her a polite nod while standing up from the couch, offering my hand. Gaeul shakes my hand very lightly, her cold skin contrasts with her warm smile.
“Okie, I won’t bother you then. Let me know if you need anything, ok?” Gaeul then heads back to her own room, leaving the door slightly ajar. I kneel on the carpet and unzips my suitcases, the apartment is very clean and neat – minimal in decorations but the carpet is soft and fluffy, walls white without a single stain, the dishes are organized nicely on the shelf.
I feel a really cautious sense of relief as I step in my room. Maybe about 150 square feet in size? The landlord was kind enough to leave a bed with mattress, a wardrobe and a desk in the room. I stuff the clothes into the wardrobe, pillows and sheet on the bed, push the empty suitcase beneath the bed and that’s basically it for my move in. Well, what more do you expect from a broke ass college student? My bone starts to protest after this long way, so I stretch my body and let the bed embrace me.
I suddenly think of Gaeul. Well, at least I got a really quiet and nice roommate. Not like the ones who drinks and parties with their friends in a shared space. “Don’t get too attached though, she is just a roommate being nice.” I remind myself.
-
The following a few weeks are pretty monotone, I have minimal interaction with Gaeul anyways. I wake up each morning, feeling light-headed and muscles aching, but life goes on, isn’t it? I walk to my college across the street, finish those classes that God knows if they are useful in real life then I dip. Maybe a quick snack or lunch? Then I work to the cafeteria style dining hall in my school until dusk. 5 days a week, 6 hours per day. Since Gaeul works the night shift in the pub, she usually already left by the time my tired body arrives at the apartment. And similarly, when I get up, her bedroom is closed, occasional snoring sounds as I pass by her door for washroom.
Maybe she is really tired as well.
Over the weekends, I just stay in my room, writing fictions or just play games with my friends online as a coping mechanism. Meanwhile, Gaeul uses her free time doing her music stuff. I see a guitar stand in her room, as the guitar sits on her laps, her headphone is on while making her music.
We sometimes order takeouts together, quoting Gaeul, it is “splitting to lower the delivery fee”. Or we sometimes just eat at a different time. Even if we eat together, the conversation is minimal. Maybe a simple “How’s your week?”, plus some “Not bad, yourself?”. She never asks me about my school work or my cafeteria shift. I feel odd to start the conversation too, so neither do I ask about her “music production.” That is good, roommates are just roommates, an appropriate boundary is always the way to go.
There is just one thing odd.
Her kindness.
I feel like Gaeul is being too nice. We cook our own meals and share the fridge, that is normal. But starting the second week after I moved in? Sometimes when I opened the fridge, there would be a sticky note on some container. It either says something like “Don’t skip breakfast!”, or “I cooked extra food in the blue container, feel free to eat it before it expires! :)”.
Each time, I devour the food without thinking too much, I told myself, “She’s just being a good roommate, don’t read into it. People like Gaeul is just nice to everyone, I’m not an exception. I should instead be grateful for having roommate like her.”
Until today. I drag my almost-dead body back from a long cafeteria shift as usual – was assigned to carry the milk from the delivery truck to the storage for a minimum hourly wage. I yank the fridge open with rage, only to see a dozen-pack of Celsius with another sticky note on it. “I bought this after shift last night, there was a promotion, I thought you’d like it. Drink as many as you want. – G.”
How does she know I like Celsius? I feel confused, but cracking one open anyway. The familiar spark hits my tongue, and for a second the exhaustion eases. Then the thought creeps in: “She remembered. From that first night.” I swallow hard. On the night I moved in, Gaeul cooked us some hearty, comforting dish, saying it was her “Welcoming of the new member of the apartment.” She asked me what drink I wanted; I then casually slipped the fact that I am a hardcore caffeine addict so she handed me a can of Celsius. “Caffeine really helps sometimes, huh? I don’t drink energy drinks so I won’t get to taste this, I guess. My friend gave this to me but now it’s yours!”
“Yay! Thank you Gaeul, this is fire.” I took the Celsius, chugged it in a blink of an eye. “You know? This taste so much better than that cheap ass brewed coffee they offer in my cafeteria, but they are free because I work there, so I guess why not?”
“Hehehe, don’t be too strict to yourself, treat yourself better! Buy what you want to drink, you know.” Gaeul giggles.
“Nah… maybe when my life gets less messy.”
…
I try to stay up late until Gaeul is back so I can thank her in person, but my exhausted body eventually give in and sleep claims me. The next time I open my eyes, I am lying on the couch in the living room, with a blanket on my body. I stand up and scan the darkness around me; there is some faint light beneath Gaeul’s bedroom door: she is still awake.
Her door is shut, but I walk to her room regardless. I lean on the door to see if she is making music so I know if I should knock or not. Nothing but some light humming – maybe chilling after work? I hesitate, hand already on the cold, steel door handle. Am I overstepping? Am I just thinking too much? Gaeul buys roommate the drink he likes because there is a promotion, it is not that big of a deal, right? She is just too nice. Why can’t she just be a jerk so I don’t have to feel this?
I can feel my face blush, just a little bit though. I eventually fold. I scribble the note on a sticky pad, the pen scratching louder than usual in the quiet apartment. My handwriting looks shaky. I stick it on the fridge next to her last one, the ink still wet.
“Thank you so much Gaeul, let me know how much it is so I can pay you back!”
I wait. Ten minutes past. Then ten more. The light through Gaeul’s door gap doesn’t get dimmer, and she also doesn’t come outside. I feel like my eyes don’t want to stay open anymore, so I escape back to my room.
-
I hear the door of his bedroom is closed, I finally stand up from my bed and reach for my door handle gently. I don’t want to wake him up. I saw him falling asleep on the couch earlier when I got back from work, he must be having a tough day.
I walk outside towards the kitchen, barefooted, it’ll be really awkward if he comes out right now. Oh goodness, he turned his light off already. I don’t see any light through his bedroom door. I open the fridge while having my eyes closed. I bought this Celsius drink that he mentioned during the first dinner we had that he’s obsessed with it. Am I being too much? Would it make things more awkward? Oh no… what should I do if he just didn’t see them? What if he just ignored because he felt like I am crossing boundaries?
I have no idea.
Like a child blushing for a surprise Christmas Gift, I slowly open my eyes. The box had been opened; he took a can. Oh! There is a sticky note, what does it say?
“Thank you so much Gaeul, let me know how much it is so I can pay you back!”
Oh boy, you definitely don’t have to be this gentle. But why am I blushing so hard? It is not the first time this happened though. Let me recall where did it all start.
Maybe it was when you were moving in? Hehehe…. You called me noona, very gentle yet a bit restraint. You just talked about your life, your parental problems, being forced to move out? And just the bare minimum financial support? That’s really cruel. But I adore your courage to take on challenges from life to get what you want. I saw a version of myself in you.
The version of myself who refused a full-time job offer – way higher wage than this pub job – to pursue my song writing dream. Maybe the suffer will all be worth it one day? I don’t know. But at least we always have to try.
I heard you once mentioned that you skip breakfast regularly just for 10 minutes of extra sleep. Gosh! What did life do to this poor boy? I guess making extra food while I am cooking and save it for my roommate isn’t crossing personal boundaries, right? I’m not sure. I can always see the container being washed and drained on the counter when I’m up. But I can’t see your thoughts.
I hope you maybe just treat me as a kind noona who cares about her roommate, I don’t want to get things complicated, what if you also have feelings for me? Oh Gaeul, please don’t be that naïve to yourself.
I remember you said you had a girlfriend in high school, but she broke up with you because she was being too possessive. You said she would call you ten times a day after class just “checking-in”, gosh. That was the time when I started to realize I shouldn’t be this obvious. So, I just kept things minimal, maybe a greet when we meet in the hallway. Sometimes you thanked me for the food I made you, I just smile gently but you know that just made me so happy.
Do I have feeling towards you? I don’t know… I really don’t see the reason why you’ll think the same about me. I am just a part-time songwriter and you are a community college student that’s trying to escape from strict parental controls, maybe we’re just destined to walk on different directions.
Do you know I started writing a song because of you? I don’t dare to say it is “for you”, because I can’t afford to lose a roommate who can accept me. Accept my oddness, accept me for being such a romantic. Gosh. Hopeless one. I named the song “My Jamais Vu”. We’ve been sharing the same roof for weeks, but each time I see you, it is like seeing a beautiful stranger. What’s under that mask of yours? I know you must be tired and stressed from life, but every time you give compliment the songs I share with you? Every time you leave sticky notes on the fridge, appreciating the food I made for you? Every time you text me to be careful when I end a late-night shift?
I couldn’t stop myself from thinking if you’re just being nice. You must be. If you have feelings for me, why wouldn’t you just say it out loud? Gosh… I really hope I didn’t annoy you by offering stuff to you. I am afraid that things would go weird, but I also cannot help myself from imagining the “what-ifs”. Did I just fall for you? I don’t know, but it makes me blush and worry at the same time….
-
Gaeul eventually didn’t tell me the price for those drinks. I secretly slipped a $20 bill into the pocket of her jacket and just hope she’ll take it without a fuss. Maybe she’ll think she left it there. Maybe she’ll know it is from me. But either way, I don’t feel like I am ready for her to ask me why.
Nothing really happened, though. When I drag my tired body back to the apartment the next day, she is already out for her night shift. The jacket is still missing in action, maybe she sees it, maybe not. But I am glad that she didn’t send me a text message to ask.
It was the most I interacted with Gaeul for the week, I don’t know if she sees the bill and thinks I am “buying” her kindness. But I can clearly tell she backs up a little. Is that because she is just being a nice roommate, but I am paying back her kindness with money? Damn, that’s maybe a bit rude from my side.
Anyway, I didn’t let that distinguish my anticipation for one of the most important days of the year. 22 years ago, I was given birth to this world. Maybe I can finally be happy for once and get myself out of the swamp named school work and cafeteria job. I wake up, heart already pounding. Last year my parents gave me a decent chunk of money for birthday, even if they are mad at me, I can still at least have the ability to have a nice meal outside today. Hmmm… do I want to invite Gaeul? She is so nice of a person and the vibe had been a bit awkward since that Celsius incident – we barely talked! Maybe I should pay the bill, and let her off the burden for a bit as well.
I then rub my sleepy eyes with the back of my hand, and my arm reach the table for my phone. Screen unlocked. No notification? Ah, maybe I forgot to turn on Wi-Fi. Wait, I did. Is the router even working? Why am I not receiving any messages? I start to panic. I sprint outside to the living room bare footed, and I immediately check the router beneath the TV.
Three green lights, pulse steady.
I restart my phone, still dead silence. I turn off Wi-Fi and use my cellular data instead, still dead silence. I am in desperate. Maybe they’ll call me, they probably haven’t woken up yet. I try my best to calm down and brush my teeth. I splash cold water onto my face while telling myself that I am just overthinking. It is not possible for my parents to forget their only son’s birthday, right?
I open the fridge, that familiar blue container is there. “Don’t skip breakfast! (Smiley face)”. sticky note on breakfast as usual. Oh yeah, I never told Gaeul it is my birthday today. Maybe she’ll cook more food if she knew it, she is just such a nice roommate, and a very caring noona. I quickly get myself ready and just set up a voicemail message on my phone before turning it to silence.
“Hey mom and dad, I am happy to have you call me today, it means a lot to me. I am in class or working my cafeteria job that I just found earlier, I’ll call you back after I get home!”
The entire day during back-to-back lectures and the cafeteria shift that comes right after, I wasn’t focusing. How I wanted to get out of this place faster! Maybe by the time I retrieve my phone from the locker (yeah, no phones during work but I guess that’s fair), I’ll see my account doubling in balance that I can just call Gaeul out as well to a feast! Korean barbeque sounds like a nice idea.
Screen unlocked. One notification. I immediately click it with my trembling fingers, but what comes after just snaps the final string of calmness I have left.
“Your monthly auto-payment to Mr. Lee (Landlord) had been transferred, account new balance: $130.” Oh yeah, what a coincidence! My birthday is on the same date as the due day for the rent. My decaying patience forces me to start looking at my family friends’ social media accounts, maybe I can find some clue.
“From Johnny (Cousin’s dad): Very nice family gathering! Had so much fun with everyone.”
Below the post is a single picture.
A single picture of my cousin’s family having dinner at my home. His parents sit across the table, with him sitting right between my father and my mother. On the chair that I always sat when I was back home. My parents smile so proudly when taking the picture, hands on his shoulder like he is their proud son.
They would be proud of me too if I made it into the Top 5 Med school of the country. They would be proud of me too if I found an internship in the freshmen year of my university in a big-name hospital. They would be proud of me too if I didn’t disobey their decision on my own life. But maybe it seems like I am more than being ignored and forgotten. It seems like I am replaced.
I cover my face with both of my hands, in the poorly lit and narrow employee’s locker room. I sob like how I once broke my father’s glass vase when I was a kid. This time though? I am really just on my own.
I stumble my way back to the apartment, and just collapse on the floor. I don’t bother turning on the light at all, letting the darkness claim me. I’ve lost track of time, but it seems like Gaeul already left for work – I really don’t want to let her see my mess. I don’t deserve her to be so kind to me. I keep my quiet sobbing, arms hugging my knees. At this point, the physical exhaustion from work is nothing compared to the feeling of getting abandoned by my own parents.
Click. Click. I hear the sound of key unlocking the door, ah, did I just cry for 6 hours already?
I indeed did not. And it is indeed Gaeul opening the door.
“Hey! You’re at home! Guess what! Power outrage at the pub and my shift is cancelled! Why didn’t you turn the lights on? That honestly scared me a little bit.” Gaeul pushes the door open with a warm giggle, and she sees me. “And you left your phone here on the….” She freezes mid-sentence. Picking up my phone and starts pacing towards me. Very slowly.
I finally turn my head towards her; my phone screen is on. Another notification that arrives “just in time.”
“Claim your $5 off for your birthday gift! We don’t forget you.” The Pizza delivery app says so.
The final string had snapped. I cannot hold it back anymore. I cry out loud – no longer just sobs, but with tears dropping down to the carpet like a pearl bracelet without its string. Gaeul doesn’t say anything, she lets her jacket sliding out her shoulders, backpack dropping onto the carpet.
“Hey… at least you could’ve told me,” She leans down and sits right next to me on the carpet, “I might’ve figured out what happened, but you know, you are never alone, right?”
“It…it never mattered anyway…my own parents abandoned me, and found a replacement on the day that they gave me birth 22 years ago” I cannot stop crying.
“It always mattered. Hey, listen…” Gaeul remains her presence in the dark with me, takes a deep breath. “You are home now. You are safe…”
“You chose to fight for the life you wanted, that is courage. You don’t live your life for other people, we are all independent human beings, not puppets. Right?” She continues. “I know it sucks to be alone, especially on a day like this…… But you can’t abandon yourself, and hey! At least I know it now… So happy birthday.”
Happy birthday. These two simple words are like a flood that destroys the final dam.
Gaeul reads me like a book. She doesn’t offer me fake empathy or care, instead she just… presents, and sees me through my mess. She’s not running away and leaving all those craps on my own, she is staying. And honestly, it is more than enough.
“Hey Gaeul… just…. Thank you.” I wipe my tears with my palms, but I still can’t stop sobbing. “I don’t really know what to say, I just hope I didn’t ruin your night off.”
“Aw… please don’t say that. I see you as a very good friend and roommate of mine, and friends support each other, don’t they?” Gaeul offers me her hand, I hesitate for a bit but take it. She pulls me up to the couch and smiles, “How could it ruin my night? It is literally a birthday party ahead waiting for us to unwrap it.”
“You don’t need to smile, but if you need something to cry on? I’m staying here for a while.” Gaeul then sits on the couch right next to me, lending her shoulder for me to lean on as I continue sobbing. I again hesitate, not sure if I am crossing the boundary of roommates. But Gaeul just doesn’t wait. She pulls me close for a side hug; my head leans on her shoulder. I can smell the floral hint of her shampoo, and it starts to linger a bit too long in my nostril.
“Have you eaten? Wanna head out for some food? Or I’m down to cook you some ramen since I’m feeling generous today. Hehehe”
“I…”
“I know. Not feeling like eating out, I get it. Let me cook then~.”
“Gaeul?” I speak, before she stands up from the couch.
“Yes? I am listening.”
“You don’t have to cook; we can order pizza… don’t let that 5 bucks go to waste” I try my best to squeeze out a faint smile, “and can you please… stay for a bit? It…”
“It feels nice when you are not alone, I know. Take your time, I’m not going anymore.”
Her shoulder feels weirdly warm.
After whoever-knows how long, my stomach starts to protest as I spent too much energy crying. I eventually depart from Gaeul’s shoulder and order pizza on my phone.
“Ok, it seems like the boy who’s always smiling is back. I’ll make you some tea, you dehydrated hard after crying for, one hour?”
“Gaeul, thank you, really.” I feel like something very deep inside me had just snapped, but I can’t tell what it is.
“Not a big deal, remember, you’re not alone in this apartment~.” Gaeul walks to the lamp and turns it on, the dim orange light embracing her warm smile.
-
I already can’t remember the taste of the pizza last night, but rather the silent, awkward tension that starts to build. It’s weekend. How can I pretend nothing happened last night and say good morning to her while I cried on her shoulder like a baby for an entire hour last night? And yeah, I for sure caused troubled for her. It was supposed to be her night off from work, but I made it messy. I know she would do the same if it happens again, but I really don’t want to annoy her and overstep the boundaries.
“It’s only getting more awkward…” I sigh, pushing my bedroom door open and head towards the kitchen for breakfast. Very unfortunately timing, Gaeul is always there, brewing her coffee.
“Morning~” She smiles, not mentioning anything that happened last night.
Does that mean I caused trouble? Why is she not talking about the left-over pizza that’s right on the kitchen table?
“Good morning Gaeul, can I get my mug on the shelf really quick?” I respond, hands out for my mug. But I accidentally run into her, as she stood before the shelf and didn’t move.
“Oops, I am so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.” She gives me an apologetic look, while handing me my mug herself. Her finger touches mine. We both freeze.
“You’re good.” Maybe I said it too fast.
---
“Why isn't he drinking the tea? Did he not like it, or was I being 'too much' again? He did compliment it last night over the pizza, but maybe he was just being polite. I stare at the coffee pot and force a smile, but my skin is still prickling. That touch—the one he probably didn't even mean? It’s making my face burn. Did I make it obvious?”
---
“Why do I feel like Gaeul’s fingers lingered a bit longer than usual? Am I overthinking, or does she feel the static too? Damn, I must be making it up. I probably pulled away too fast. Gaeul, I didn’t mean to make it awkward—I’m just terrified of doing the wrong thing. Am I too cold?”
---
The rest of the breakfast feels extra silent compared to usual. Gaeul, for some reason, just stares at her plate of pancakes and sips her coffee. I devour the microwaved left-over pizza in a haste as I just can’t stand the silence anymore.
“Thank you for your coffee as usual, I’ll talk to you later.” I dip back to my bedroom. For the entire afternoon, I try my hardest to focus and get some assignments done. But I realize Gaeul is replacing my knowledge with herself. Maybe, just maybe. I know I have a new love.
But would she feel the same? I doubt.
I encounter Gaeul again in the late afternoon when I get drink from the fridge. She is sitting on the couch, watching TV with popcorns stuffing her cheeks.
“Hey Gaeul, you look like a squirrel now~” I try to ease my nervousness as I walk by, only to let the familiar scent of her shampoo capture me.
“Hehehe…” She giggles, mumbled a few words but just gets muted by the popcorns in her mouth. Maybe something like “Getting a drink?”
---
“I feel my heart skips a beat as she smiles at me with those cute cheeks. Wait, did I just call Gaeul cute? I crack open a can of Celsius from the fridge, chugging it in one go to just try to distract my attention. I never knew her shampoo smells this good, not until, like last night.”
---
“Oh gosh… did he just call me a squirrel? I think squirrels are cute, did he imply I look cute with my cheek with popcorns? I must be overthinking again, maybe he just came out for drink. Hey, why is he chugging his drink while staring at me? Am I actually cute? I’d better stop looking at his direction, but my face must be beet red right now. That’s so lame…”
---
I intentionally walk around the couch that Gaeul is sitting on to avoid further eye contact with her. I take a quick glance at her; both cheeks are still full of popcorns. Squirrels are cute, Gaeul. I didn’t expect you to get what I wanted to say anyways. Damn, I hope I didn’t mess things up.
I hear footsteps towards the main door, and I peek through my window a minute later. Gaeul is out, confirmed. I come up with a plan. It seems just too embarrassing interacting with Gaeul at this point, maybe I do need to clam down for a few days. I think I’m gonna finish up the draft of my presentation and go to the library to print it out. Maybe I’ll just eat some fast food outside? Then I don’t have to sit at the same table with Gaeul and have my face red like a cherry. Perfect plan. I quickly gather up my attention and speedrun my presentation before heading towards my school library with my laptop.
---
Wait, I see him coming out of house, finally. It is three laps of walking around our community! I just need some air, it is so awkward~ Gosh, I knew he’s going to library to print stuff out. Hmm… is it even open? It’s Saturday today, hehehe…
---
Damn it, I only realize it is Saturday by the time I reach the closed door of the library. The presentation is on Monday morning! And I need the scripts to be printed out, maybe I should kindly ask Gaeul to borrow her printer? She seems to be printing her sheet music every now and then. Maybe it is also a way to go? Let me text her really quick.
“Hey Gaeul, may I please borrow your printer to print out some stuff I need for Monday morning? It is for a presentation and quite urgent ☹, I am at the library rn, only to realize it is closed.”
“Oh hey~, no problem at all! I went out to get some air; the weather is really nice today. My laptop is on the couch and it is not locked. Feel free!”
I then pace back to the apartment; it is still the same compared to when I left. Gaeul’s Popcorn bucket is still sitting on the couch, her laptop placed right next to the blanket that she used while watching TV not long ago. I intentionally sit on the exact spot that she was, trying to acquire a bit of more of her lingering warmth and shampoo scent from the couch cover.
Her laptop is still warm, I put it on my thigh, plugging in my USB-drive and carefully presses the spacebar once to wake it up. It is just business, let me get this done.
I am expecting a blank browser page, maybe the main desktop with a cute background – Gaeul is always so bright. But what I see is not what I should see. It is a Word document, looking like the draft for her new song lyrics by the formatting. I know it is just business; I am not supposed to look at her personal stuff. Gaeul trusted me enough to leave her laptop unlocked (although I’ve seen the laptop sitting on the couch for weeks, I never knew it was not locked. LOL. I didn’t mean to be creepy), so I have no reason to violate her trust, especially when it is in an awkward situation like this.
I swear I’ll just look at what’s already there. Nothing more. I look at the very top of the document, it is titled “My Jamais Vu.” The black cursor is blinking right at the end of the first stanza, like it is luring me in to discover Gaeul’s mind. OK, I’ll only read what’s on the screen.
I don't see a song. I see a mess. There are words crossed out so hard the digital cursor seems to ache. "Twenty dollars" is underlined twice, right next to the word "transaction." The image of Gaeul’s silhouette starts to unwrap in my chaotic brain. To her, I wasn’t trying to be fair and friendly by paying back the drinks she bought for me, but trying to put a price tag on the kindness and care she gave me. It starts to sting.
Beneath that, a lopsided phrase about "kettle steam" and "waiting for a door to click." My heart does a slow, painful roll in my chest. She wasn't just being nice. She was counting the seconds I spent hiding from her. Every time I thought I was being "careful" or "discrete" this week, Gaeul was right there, documenting the distance.
Then, at the very bottom, a single, un-edited line that makes the room feel ten degrees colder:
"You are my most familiar stranger...My Jamais Vu, I’m relearning your name at every sunrise."
She isn't just my roommate anymore. She’s someone who has to actively pretend she doesn't know the exact sound of my breathing through a wall just to keep our lives from collapsing.
Click. The door swings open. It sounds like a summer storm outside, Gaeul is basically dashing through the door. Her hair is damped from the rain outside, but she still giggles quietly. “Hey, it’s raining really hard outside… are you printing your stuff? Oh…shoot…...” She sees the laptop sideways, and it is obviously on that Words document that she forgot to close when she left.
The final barrier between me and Gaeul is disappearing. The maze of uncertainty, the fear of being too much—the walls we both built are finally starting to crumble.
“I… I was trying to print, I promise I didn’t mean to...” I should be happy, but instead, I’m just overloaded.
“It’s fine. How much did you read?” Gaeul squeezes a faint smile, shivers slightly from the weather, a few drops of rain on her pink hair falls to the carpet.
I stutter, but for the first time in weeks, I recognize a closing window. This is my only chance. I stand up, leaving the laptop—and her secrets—on the couch. “I read enough to know I was an idiot for that twenty-dollar bill. Enough to realize I left you alone every time you were waiting for me at breakfast. I just... I didn’t dare.”
“Didn’t dare to have breakfast with me?” Gaeul’s voice is small. “Did I make you feel overwhelmed?”
“No, absolutely not! Please don’t think that, Gaeul. Every time we ate together, it was the highlight of my day. Your music, your stories about the pub shifts... it was perfect. I was just afraid that I was the one getting too close. I didn't want to ruin the only good thing I had.”
Gaeul sits down to the couch right next to me, the fresh scent of grass and rain mixes with her floral shampoo. We both are visibly flushed, the air between us is heavy, with all the secrets we were hiding from each other.
“So… can I assume that you wanted to get close?” Gaeul covers her mouth, her tone remarkably calm compared to the hammering in my chest.
“I didn’t know, to be honest,” I admit, my hands starting to tremble. “Not until I read those lines. I was too afraid to mess things up. I never thought I deserved someone so caring, so warm...” I stop, reaching for a dry towel from the kitchen island and offering it to her like a peace offering. “And someone so beautiful.”
“Oh my gosh… stop. You’re going to give me a heart attack,” Gaeul whispers, her face as red as the kimchi soup she makes for me. She takes the towel with shaking hands. “Do you know how much I worried about being ‘too much’? I never wanted my care to become your burden. Every time I saw you chugging that Celsius just to avoid looking at me... I thought I’d failed.” She reaches into her jacket hanging by the door and pulls out the crumpled twenty-dollar bill. “I knew I’d screwed up when I found this. It was never supposed to be a transaction.”
“No… it was on me Gaeul. My life is already a mess… I cannot afford to lose one more precious roommate like you, but do you know what?”
“Y-yes?” Gaeul buries her face in the towel, refusing to meet my eyes. Her blush has spread all the way to the tips of her ears.
“I want to be more than a roommate to you, Gaeul.”
Silence.
The silence that follows is heavy, broken only by the rain against the glass. Then, a few quiet sobs. The sound of Gaeul crying starts to drown out the summer storm outside. She pulls her face from the towel, her eyes bright and shimmering.
She looks at me, face off the towel. “ME TOO! Do you know how long did I wait for you to say this to me? *sobs* I was writing this song because I was so afraid that I would make things weird if I confess first. *sobs* Then I wrote this song, about how badly I wanted you, but equally frightened to lose it all. *sobs* I… I don’t want you to see me as a kind noona who makes tea, I… want to be the one that brings you happiness to your world…”
“You had always been, Gaeul.” I feel the need to capture this moment, so I pull her close to me for a firm hug. Her chests against mine, still moves up and down from the sobbing. I brush and caress her hair that is damped from the rain, the other hand gently padding her back. “I… I am really an odd one, aren’t I? I should’ve confessed earlier.”
A light giggle escapes her throat, as she pulls back from my hug and the familiar smile is back to her face – this time with a slight hint of mischief. She cups my face with her small hands, fingers trembling. “Ahem… I think we should kinda make this afternoon memorable, shall we?”
I don’t wait for another word, but I rather crash my lips into hers. The kiss is not cinematic and messy, but rather a firm statement. A moment for two hopeless romantics to let go off their guards and truly see each other through their disguise – their disguise forced by mess in life. Our kiss lingers like the static electricity before a lightning strike—sharp, sudden, and grounding. When we finally pull apart, the apartment feels different.
Gaeul is still flushed, her small hands resting on my chest, feeling the frantic rhythm of my heart that hasn't quite slowed down yet. She looks down at the laptop, then back at me, a shy smile tugging at her lips. "So," she whispers, her voice still a little thick from crying. "Does this mean I have to rewrite the bridge? The part about the 'familiar stranger' doesn't really fit anymore."
I can't help it; a genuine laugh breaks through the lingering tension in my throat. I reach out, tucking a damp strand of pink hair behind her ear. "I think you should keep it. As a reminder of how much of a coward I was. Besides... I like the melody."
“Hey, don’t be fake! You haven’t even heard the melody.” She protests.
“But I know it is going to be good,” I reach for her face again, “because you wrote it.”
“Gosh… never knew you are a romantic like this…” Gaeul fakes a sigh, before pressing her lips back on mine once more. We carefully savor each other, as the masquerade comes to an end. I don’t know how long had passed, but the heavy rain outside is quieting down.
“Gaeul, can you hum me the melody for the song then? I’m curious.” We finally break apart from each other, Gaeul reaches for the towel to dry her hair.
“Imagine a song that’s like… I will wear a veil while singing it. A bit of mystery, a bit of whispering, a bit of melancholy vibes. And yeah, think about when I sing the chorus, I added wind sound and a lot of harmonics. Trust, it is gonna be a hit~” Gaeul’s grin is wide and proud, as a musician should be to her work.
“We’ll see, alright Gaeul… I guess we should get some food, shouldn’t we? I’ll cook.”
“Better be good,” she teases, leaning against the armrest. "I have very high standards for my 'more-than-a-roommate'."
“Already? I thought we are just getting started.” I joke, leaning back in to kiss her temple.
Gaeul stands up to join me, grabbing my wrist from behind. The laptop sits forgotten on the couch, the screen finally timed out into blackness. The document is saved. The song is finished. And as I reach for the rice cooker, I realize that for the first time in months, I’m not worried about the Monday morning presentation or the mess of my life, the mess of my family.
I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.
“But Gaeul, my life is like a mess right now. I’ll really try my best, but don’t blame me if I mess stuff up, ok?”
“Hey, who says my life isn’t? Isn’t that why we need boyfriends and girlfriends? Motivate each other, make each other’s live better, blah blah blah…”
“Yea, let’s make something out of nothing…”
Gaeul nods, “Let’s make something super beautiful.”
“You should add that line to your song; it is a nice one.”
You get home from school around 4:30 like always, backpack heavy with useless math worksheets and your tie already loosened.
You kick off your shoes, and right when you're about to disappear into your room, you hear it—low, fat bass notes thumping through the thin wall that separates your apartment from the one next door.
Magenta’s home.
You just drop your bag by the door and step out to the shared balcony.
Sure enough, she’s already there, sitting cross-legged on the concrete with her blue bass across her lap. Off-shoulder white top slipping down one arm, silver chains catching the late sun, hair messy like she just woke up from a nap.
She doesn’t look up right away, fingers still walking the fretboard, playing something slow and dirty that makes your stomach flip.
She finally glances over. Small smirk. “Yo, kid. You’re early today.”
“I’m not a kid,” you mumble, but you still walk closer and lean against the railing. “Teacher let us out ten minutes sooner. Some meeting.”
“Lucky.” She plucks a fat note, lets it ring. “Wanna hear something new? Wrote it last night after too much soju.”
You nod fast. Of course you do.
She starts playing again, slower this time. The line is simple but heavy, like it’s pulling you in. You sit down on the other side of the small balcony table without asking. She doesn’t mind. Never does.
Halfway through, she stops. “Shit. That part’s still wrong.” She rubs her neck, silver cross necklace sliding. “My rhythm’s fucked today.”
“It sounded good to me,” you say honestly.
She laughs—short, rough. “You’re too nice. That’s dangerous, you know.”
You feel your face get warm but pretend it’s nothing. “I’m not nice. I’m just… honest.”
“Same thing.” She sets the bass down carefully, leans back on her hands. The top slips more. You try very hard not to stare at the smooth line of her collarbone, the tiny mole just under it. Fail.
“So,“ she says, tilting her head. “How was school? Any girls confess yet? You’re at that age.”
You snort. “No one confesses in my class. They just stare at phones.“
“Boring.” She reaches into her pocket, pulls out a lollipop—strawberry—and tosses it to you. “Here. Payment for listening to my shitty practice.”
You catch it. “You don’t have to pay me.”
“I want to.” Her eyes flick to your uniform, then back up. “You always come straight here after school. Don’t you have friends? Somewhere to be?”
You shrug. “Friends are loud. Here is… quiet. Except when you play.”
She smiles, real this time, not the stage smirk she uses when her band has a tiny gig at some underground bar. “Flattery will get you everywhere, kid.”
“Stop calling me kid.” You unwrap the lollipop, stick it in your mouth. “I’m literally turning eighteen in three months.”
Magenta raises an eyebrow. “Oh? Legal soon, huh.”
The way she says it makes your heart bang against your ribs. You know she’s teasing. She’s always teasing. But still.
“Yeah,” you mutter. “Legal.”
She watches you suck on the candy for a second too long, then looks away, picks up her bass again. “Careful what you wish for. Eighteen doesn’t make you grown. It just makes things… complicated.”
You swallow. “Like what?”
“Like neighbors who play bass too loud at night.” She strums once, hard. “Like noonas who shouldn’t be looking at high-school boys the way they sometimes do.”
Your mouth goes dry. The lollipop suddenly tastes too sweet.
She notices. Of course she does.
“Relax,” she says softly. “I’m not gonna eat you. Yet.”
You choke on air. She laughs again, stands up, stretches so her shirt rides up and shows a thin strip of stomach.
“Come inside,” she says, casual. “I’ll make ramyeon. You look like you haven’t eaten since breakfast.”
You hesitate maybe half a second.
Then you follow her through the sliding door.
Her place smells like vanilla candles and cigarette smoke she tries to hide with incense. Posters of old rock bands on the wall, fairy lights tangled around the window. Messy in a cool way, not dirty.
She heads to the tiny kitchen. “Sit wherever. Don’t touch the blue bass—it’s moody today.”
You drop onto her couch instead. Heart loud enough you swear she can hear it.
Magenta glances back over her shoulder while the water boils. “You okay? You look like you’re about to bolt.”
“I’m good,” you lie.
She smirks. “Liar.”
The kettle clicks off.
She pours water into two bowls of noodles, adds green onion, an egg, chili flakes. Normal stuff. But when she carries both bowls over and sits right next to you—thigh brushing yours—it doesn’t feel normal at all.
“Eat,” she says, passing you chopsticks. “Then maybe I’ll let you touch the bass. If you’re nice.”
You take the bowl. Your fingers shake a little.
She notices that too.
You take the first bite of ramyeon and almost burn your tongue. It’s perfect—spicy, salty, the egg yolk still a little runny.
Magenta watches you eat like it’s the most interesting thing she’s seen all day.
“Slow down,” she says, blowing on her own noodles. “No one’s stealing it.”
You chew, swallow. “It’s good. You always make it better than my mom.”
She raises an eyebrow. “Careful. Compliments like that get dangerous fast.”
You shrug, trying to play it cool. “Just facts.”
She laughs under her breath and scoots a tiny bit closer on the couch. Your knees touch now. Neither of you moves away.
“So,” she says after a minute, setting her bowl on the coffee table. “What do high-school boys do for fun these days? Besides spy on their hot neighbor.”
“I don’t spy,” you protest, face heating up again.
“Uh-huh.” She leans in, elbow on the back of the couch, chin in her hand. Close enough you can smell her shampoo—something sweet like berries mixed with the faint cigarette she probably smoked on the balcony earlier. “You always show up right when I start playing. Coincidence?”
“Maybe I just like bass.”
“Maybe you just like me.”
Your chopsticks freeze halfway to your mouth.
She doesn’t back off. Just keeps looking at you with those dark eyes, the tiniest smile tugging at her lips like she knows exactly what she’s doing to your pulse.
You force a laugh. “You’re messing with me.”
“Am I?” She reaches over, takes the lollipop stick from between your fingers—the same one she gave you earlier—and pops it into her own mouth. Her tongue flicks against it once before she pulls it out with a soft pop. “You blush so easy. It’s cute.”
“Stop,” you mutter, but it comes out weak.
“Make me.”
You stare at her mouth for a second too long. The silver ring in her lower lip glints when she smiles wider.
She sets the lollipop on the table, then turns her whole body toward you. One leg tucks under her, the other brushes your thigh again—higher this time.
“Question,” she says quietly. “Be honest. How long have you been thinking about this?”
“About what?”
“Don’t play dumb.” Her voice drops. “About me. About coming over here. About what happens if I stop pretending I’m just being nice to the kid next door.”
Your heart is hammering so hard you swear the couch is shaking with it.
“Since… I don’t know. Last summer? When you let me sit in on band practice that one time.”
She nods slowly. “I remember. You sat in the corner the whole night, eyes huge, like you’d never seen girls drink beer before.”
“I hadn’t. Not really.”
She chuckles. “God, you’re young.”
“I’m almost eighteen,” you remind her, same as before.
“Almost isn’t the same as is.” But the way she says it doesn’t sound like a rejection. More like she’s testing something.
Her hand moves. Fingers brush the sleeve of your school shirt, then trail up to the collar. She tugs it lightly, straightening it like she’s fixing you.
“You still wearing this stupid tie after school?” she murmurs. “Loosen it more. Looks uncomfortable.”
You swallow hard. Your hands feel clumsy, but you reach up and pull the knot looser. Her fingers follow, helping, slipping under the fabric until they’re against your skin. Cool rings against your throat.
“Better?” she asks.
“Yeah.”
Her thumb strokes once, right over your pulse. “Your heart’s racing.”
She leans in closer. So close her breath touches your cheek.
“Tell me to stop,” she whispers. “Say it and I’ll back off. No hard feelings.”
You don’t say anything.
Her lips curve. “That’s what I thought.”
Then she kisses you.
Not soft. Not careful. Hungry. Like she’s been waiting for this too.
You freeze for half a second before your brain catches up and you kiss her back—messy, desperate, hands finally moving to grab her waist. The off-shoulder top slips down her arm completely now. Her skin is warm under your palms.
She makes a small sound against your mouth, pleased, and shifts so she’s half in your lap. One hand in your hair, tugging just enough to make you gasp. The other slides under your shirt, nails dragging lightly over your stomach.
When she pulls back, both of you are breathing hard.
“Still think you’re not a kid?” she teases, voice rough.
You shake your head.
“Good.” She kisses you again, slower this time. Deeper. Her tongue slides against yours and you groan into her mouth without meaning to.
She laughs softly, breaks away just enough to speak against your lips. “Bedroom?”
You nod so fast it makes her smile.
She stands, pulls you up with her. Your legs feel shaky. She notices, laces her fingers through yours.
“Don’t trip,” she says, smirking. “I want you in one piece.”
You follow her down the short hallway. The door to her room is already half-open, bed messy with black sheets and too many pillows. Bass cases leaning against the wall.
She turns to you, eyes dark, that same small smirk still there. “You okay, baby?”
You nod too fast. “Y-yeah. Noona…”
The word slips out before you can stop it. She pauses, tilts her head like she likes how it sounds coming from you.
“Say it again,” she murmurs.
“Noona,” you whisper. It feels dirty and safe at the same time.
She steps closer, hands sliding up your open shirt, pushing it off your shoulders until it drops to the floor. Your tie’s still hanging loose around your neck like a stupid necklace. She grabs it, uses it to pull you toward the bed.
“Sit,” she says, soft but firm.
You drop onto the edge of the mattress, legs spread a little because you don’t know what else to do with them.
She stands between your knees, looking down at you like you’re something she’s been wanting to unwrap for months.
Her fingers find your belt. Slow. The metal clinks. Then the zipper—loud in the quiet. She drags it down inch by inch, eyes locked on yours the whole time.
“You’re so nervous,” she teases, voice low. “Cute.”
“I—I’m not—” You swallow. “Noona, I just… I’ve never…”
“I know.” She leans down, kisses you slow and deep while her hand slips inside your pants.
You gasp into her mouth when her fingers brush over you through your boxers. “That’s why I’m gonna take care of you.”
She kisses along your jaw, down your neck, while she tugs your pants and boxers down together. You lift your hips without thinking, helping her. Cool air hits your skin and you twitch.
Then you’re bare in front of her.
She looks. Really looks. Her tongue darts out to wet her lips.
“Fuck,” she breathes. “Look at you.”
Your face burns. “Noona…”
She wraps her hand around you—warm, firm. One slow stroke. Then another. Then a third. You hiss through your teeth, hips jerking up into her grip.
“Sensitive,” she murmurs, almost to herself. Fourth stroke, tighter this time. Your head falls back.
Then she drops to her knees between your legs.
Your breath stops.
She looks up at you through her lashes, silver chains glinting against her collarbone. “Eyes on me, okay? Don’t look away.”
You nod, even though your whole body feels like it’s on fire.
She leans in. Hot breath ghosts over the tip first—makes you whimper. Then her tongue, flat and slow, drags from base to head. You choke on air.
“Noona—fuck—”
She smiles against your skin, then takes you into her mouth.
Warm. Wet. Tight.
Your hands fly to the sheets, gripping hard. She slides down slow, lips stretching around you, until you hit the back of her throat. She hums—actually hums—and the vibration shoots straight up your spine.
You’re shaking now, bad. “Noona… oh god… noona…”
She pulls back just enough to speak, lips brushing the head. “You taste good, baby.”
Then she dives back down, faster this time. One hand wraps around the base she can’t fit, stroking in time with her mouth. The other hand slides up your thigh, nails digging in just enough to make you buck.
You’re moaning now—loud, embarrassing sounds you can’t hold back. She doesn’t care. She just keeps going, head bobbing, cheeks hollowing every time she sucks hard on the way up.
Your hips twitch forward without permission. She lets you, lets you fuck shallowly into her mouth while she moans around you like she’s enjoying it more than you are.
“Noona—I’m—fuck, I’m gonna—”
She pulls off with a wet pop, hand still pumping you fast. Looks up with shiny lips and messy hair.
“You wanna come in my mouth?” she asks, voice wrecked. “Or you want me to stop and ride you instead?”
You can barely think. Your whole body’s screaming.
“I—please—noona—”
She laughs softly, low and dirty.
“Greedy boy.”
Then she takes you deep again, all the way, nose brushing your stomach. You cry out, hands flying to her hair—not pushing, just holding on.
She swallows around you once, twice.
And you lose it.
Your back arches, hips jerking, coming so hard your vision whites out for a second. She doesn’t pull away—takes every pulse, every drop, humming like it’s the best thing she’s tasted all day.
When you finally slump back, panting, she slowly pulls off. Licks her lips. Wipes the corner of her mouth with her thumb.
You’re wrecked. Chest heaving. Legs trembling.
She climbs up onto the bed, straddles your lap, kisses you deep so you can taste yourself on her tongue.
“Good boy,” she whispers against your mouth. “That was just the start.”
Her hand slides down between you both, fingers brushing where you’re still half-hard and slick.
“Noona…” you breathe, already getting dizzy again.
She smiles, wicked and sweet at the same time.
You can’t stop staring. Even with her straddling your lap, even after what she just did with her mouth, your eyes keep dropping to her chest.
The off-shoulder top is barely hanging on now—one sleeve completely off, the neckline stretched low enough that you can see the full swell of her tits, deep cleavage right in your face.
They look heavy, soft, way bigger up close than you ever imagined from the glimpses you stole on the balcony.
“Noona…” you breathe, voice cracking. Your hands twitch like they don’t know where to go.
She notices. Of course she does.
“You like them?” she asks, voice husky. She cups herself through the thin fabric, pushes them together so the cleavage gets even deeper.
You nod, helpless. “Yeah… noona, they’re… perfect.”
She laughs low, pleased. Then she grabs the hem of her top and pulls it over her head in one smooth motion. No bra underneath—just bare skin, pale nipples already hard, big tits bouncing free right in front of you.
Your mouth goes dry.
She leans forward, pressing them against your chest. Soft. Warm. Heavy. You groan without meaning to.
“Touch,” she says. “Go on.”
Your hands move like they’re on autopilot. You cup them, thumbs brushing over her nipples. She sighs, arches into your touch. They overflow your palms—soft but firm, skin so smooth it makes your head spin.
You can’t help it. You lean in, mouth open, and latch onto one nipple. Suck hard.
“Ah—fuck, yes,” she moans, fingers sliding into your hair, holding you there. “Just like that, baby.”
You switch sides, greedy, sucking louder, tongue swirling. She tastes faintly sweet, like the vanilla candle smell that’s all over her room. Your cock—still slick from her mouth—twitches against her thigh.
She pushes you back gently until you’re flat on the bed, pillows under your head. Then she climbs higher, knees on either side of your ribs. Her tits hang right over your face.
“Want more?” she whispers.
You nod fast. “Please, noona.”
She smiles wicked, lowers herself until her breasts press around your cock. Soft, warm flesh envelops you completely. She squeezes them together with her hands, trapping you in that perfect, deep valley.
Then she starts moving.
Up. Down. Slow at first. The friction is insane—her skin so soft, but she’s squeezing just right. Your tip pokes out the top of her cleavage every time she slides down, leaking pre-cum that smears across her chest, making everything slicker.
“Fuck… noona…” you groan, hips jerking up instinctively.
She moans too, watching your face. “You’re getting me so wet just from this. Feel it?”
She shifts forward a little, grinding her soaked panties against your stomach while she keeps working her tits around you. You can feel the heat, the dampness soaking through the fabric. She’s dripping.
Your hands grab her hips, trying to pull her closer, but she’s in control. Always is.
“Gonna make you come again like this?” she teases, speeding up. Her tits bounce with every slide, nipples brushing your chest. “Or you want inside noona’s pussy?”
“Inside,” you gasp. “Please—noona, I need—”
She stops. Lets your cock fall free, glistening with her spit and your pre-cum. Then she reaches down, pushes her panties to the side. No taking them off—just enough.
She lines you up. The head of your cock brushes her folds—hot, slippery, so wet it’s obscene.
“Eyes on me,” she orders.
You look up. Her hair’s a mess, cheeks flushed, lips parted.
Then she sinks down.
Slow.
Inch by inch.
Tight. Hot. Wet.
You both moan at the same time. Your hands fly to her thighs, gripping hard. She bottoms out, hips flush against yours, and just sits there for a second, letting you feel every pulse around you.
“Fuck… you’re big for a almost-eighteen-year-old,” she breathes, rocking a little. “Fills noona up so good.”
She starts riding.
Slow rolls at first, grinding her clit against your base every time she drops down. Then faster. Harder. Her tits bounce right in your face—hypnotizing. You grab them again, squeezing, thumbs on her nipples while she fucks herself on you.
The sounds are filthy—wet slaps, her moans mixing with yours, the bed creaking under you both.
“Noona—shit—gonna—”
“Not yet,” she pants, slowing just enough to edge you. She leans down, kisses you messy, tongue deep. “Wait for noona. Come with me.”
She picks up speed again. Grinding hard. Her walls clench around you every time she lifts, like she’s trying to keep you inside forever.
You’re shaking. Sweating. Can’t think.
She sits up straight, hands on your chest for leverage, riding you like she owns you.
“Come on, baby,” she gasps. “Fill noona up. Give it to me.”
That does it.
You buck up hard, burying yourself deep as you come. Pulse after pulse, spilling inside her. She moans loud, head thrown back, and you feel her clench—really clench—coming right after you. Her whole body shudders, nails digging into your skin.
She collapses on top of you, both of you panting, sticky, wrecked.
Your eyes snap wide. Heart slams back into overdrive.
“Noona—fuck— I didn’t—I mean—we—”
You try to pull out, but your hips jerk the wrong way and you just sink deeper instead. She gasps, then clamps down around you on purpose, making you whimper.
“Shit, noona, I’m sorry—I panicked—I—”
She freezes for half a second, eyes going big. Real panic flashes across her face—quick, gone in a blink.
Then she bursts out laughing.
Not mean. Just… amused. Breathless. Her whole body shakes with it, tits pressed to your chest, walls fluttering around your oversensitive dick.
You stare up at her, confused and terrified. “Noona… why are you laughing? This isn’t funny—I just—”
She wipes a tear from the corner of her eye, still giggling. “Oh my god, your face. Baby, relax. Breathe.”
“But I came inside—without anything—”
“Yeah, you did.” She grinds down slow, deliberate, making you hiss through your teeth. “Felt it. Hot. A lot.”
“Noona—”
She leans down, kisses your panicked mouth soft. Then pulls back just enough to look at you, smirking again.
“First, calm down. I’m safe.”
You blink. “Safe?”
She rolls her hips once—slow circle—and you groan, hands gripping her ass like it’ll keep you grounded.
“I’m on the pill, dummy. Double-checked this morning because… well.” She shrugs, casual. “Knew you’d be coming over eventually. Planned ahead.”
You stare. Brain trying to catch up. “You… planned?”
“Not the whole thing.” She smirks wider. “But I knew if I got you in my bed, you weren’t lasting long enough to ask about condoms. Look at you—barely made it through round one without exploding.”
Your face burns. “That’s not—”
“Shh.” She puts a finger over your lips. Then replaces it with her mouth—kisses you deep, tongue sliding against yours while she keeps rocking, slow and torturous. Your spent cock is starting to harden again inside her despite everything.
She breaks the kiss, lips brushing your ear. “Second, you feel so fucking good like this. All raw. No rubber. Just you filling noona up.”
You whimper. “Noona… don’t—”
“Don’t what?” She clenches around you on purpose. Tight. Wet. You feel your own cum slicking everything, making every tiny movement obscene. “Don’t tell you how much I like feeling you leak out of me? Don’t tell you I’m gonna make you do it again?”
You’re shaking now—half from overstimulation, half from the way she’s talking.
She sits up straight, hands on your chest, riding you slow while she talks. “You panicked so cute. Thought you broke noona or something.” She laughs again, soft. “Adorable. Makes me wanna ruin you more.”
She leans forward, tits in your face again.
You latch on without thinking—suck hard on one nipple like it’ll save you.
She moans, pleased. “Good boy. See? You’re already getting hard again. Greedy little cock can’t help it.”
You pull off just enough to gasp. “Noona… I can’t—I just came—”
“You can.” She grinds down harder. “And you will. Gonna pump another load right where the first one is. Make it messy. Make noona drip when I stand up later.”
Your hips buck up on their own. “Fuck—please—”
She speeds up a little. Not fast—just enough to keep you right on the edge. Her nails drag down your chest.
“Say it,” she whispers. “Tell noona you wanna come inside again.”
You’re gone. Completely gone.
“I—I wanna come inside again—noona—please—”
She smiles, wicked and sweet. “That’s my boy.”
She starts riding harder now. Faster. Wet sounds filling the room. Her tits bounce, chains jingling, hair sticking to her sweaty neck.
You grab her hips, thrust up to meet her. Desperate.
She leans down, mouth by your ear. “Fill me up, baby. Give noona everything.”
You do.
Second orgasm hits like a punch—harder than the first. You bury yourself deep, groan loud against her shoulder, spilling again. Pulse after pulse. She moans with you, clenching tight, milking every drop.
When it’s over, she collapses on top of you. Both of you sweaty, sticky, breathing like you ran a marathon.
She kisses your temple. Soft this time.
“See?” she murmurs. “Told you I’m safe.”
You nod weakly. Can’t speak yet.
She laughs quietly, nuzzles your neck.
“But next time… maybe we skip the panic. Just enjoy it.”
She squeezes around you one last time—playful.
“Or maybe I like when you freak out a little. Makes you so cute when you beg.”
You groan, embarrassed.
She just kisses you again.
“Rest now, baby. Noona’s gonna clean us up… then we’re going for round three.”
You’re flat on your back, chest still rising and falling too fast, legs spread lazy across her black sheets.
Sweat’s cooling on your skin, making you sticky everywhere.
Your cock’s lying heavy against your thigh—half-hard still, slick with both of you, twitching every now and then like it’s not ready to quit. You don’t bother covering up. No point. She’s already seen everything.
Magenta’s standing by the sliding balcony door, completely naked too. Back to you, one hip cocked, she’s got a cigarette between her fingers, glowing red every time she pulls.
She exhales slow toward the open crack, smoke curling out into the night so it doesn’t drift back to you.
She knows you hate the smell up close.
You grab your phone from the floor where your pants landed earlier. Unlock it one-handed. Open the game you always play when you’re bored—some dumb endless runner with bright colors and stupid music. The sound’s off. Just tapping the screen, watching the little character jump and dodge.
She glances over her shoulder. Sees you like this—naked, legs open, phone in hand, cock still shiny and semi-up. Smirks.
“Already ignoring noona?” she teases, voice rough from the smoke.
“Just… cooling down,” you mutter, eyes on the screen.
“Uh-huh.” She takes another drag, holds it, lets it out slow toward the balcony. “You look cute like that. All fucked out and still hard. Greedy boy.”
You feel your face heat up but don’t look away from the game. Your character dies. You curse under your breath, restart.
She laughs softly. Stubs the cigarette out on the little ashtray by the door, then pads back over. The bed dips when she climbs on.
She doesn’t straddle you yet—just lies down beside you, head on your shoulder, one leg thrown over yours. Her tits press soft against your arm. Nipples still hard, brushing your skin every time she breathes.
“Whatcha playing?” she asks, chin on your collarbone, peeking at the screen.
“Same dumb thing. Helps me chill.”
She hums. Her hand drifts down your stomach, lazy circles with her fingertips. Skips over your cock at first—teasing—then finally wraps around it. Not stroking. Just holding. Warm palm, loose grip. You twitch in her hand instantly.
“Noona…” you breathe, game forgotten for a second.
“Shh. Keep playing.” She squeezes once, light. “I like watching you try to focus.”
You swallow. Tap the screen again. Your character jumps. Barely.
She starts moving her hand—slow, barely there. Just enough to keep you interested. Thumb swiping over the head every few strokes, spreading the leftover mess from earlier. You’re fully hard again in under a minute.
“Fuck,” you whisper.
She chuckles against your neck. “Told you. Greedy.”
Her other hand slides up to your chest, plays with your nipple—pinches just enough to make you hiss. Then she shifts, props herself on one elbow so she can look down at you properly.
“Round three?” she asks, voice low. “Or you wanna keep pretending you’re focused on that game while I jerk you off?”
You glance at the screen—your character’s already crashed into a spike wall. Game over screen blinking.
You toss the phone aside. It lands somewhere on the floor with a soft thud.
She grins. Climbs over you properly now, straddling your hips. Her pussy’s still wet, still messy from the last two loads. She grinds down slow, sliding your cock between her folds without letting you in yet.
“Good choice,” she murmurs. Leans down, kisses you deep—tongue lazy, tasting like smoke and her. You groan into her mouth.
She breaks the kiss, sits up straight. Hands on your chest for balance. Looks down at where you’re lined up—tip nudging her entrance.
“Ready for noona again?” she asks, rocking just enough to tease the head inside.
“Yeah,” you breathe. “Please—noona.”
She sinks down slow. Inch by inch. Still so tight, still so wet, your cum from before making it slick and easy. You both moan when she bottoms out.
This time she doesn’t rush. Just rolls her hips in slow, deep circles. Grinding her clit against you every time she drops. Her tits sway right in your face—close enough you can lean up and suck one nipple into your mouth if you want.
You do.
She sighs, pleased. Fingers in your hair, holding you there while she rides.
“Fuck… just like that, baby,” she whispers. “Suck noona while I fuck you slow.”
You obey. Tongue swirling, teeth grazing just enough to make her gasp. Your hands grab her ass, helping her move, pulling her down harder every few rolls.
She picks up speed eventually—still not fast, just deeper. Wetter. The sounds are loud now—filthy, wet slaps mixed with both your moans.
You’re close already. Too soon. But she feels it—clenches around you on purpose.
“Come whenever,” she pants. “No holding back this time. Fill noona up again. Make it three.”
You buck up hard. Bury yourself deep. Come with a choked groan against her chest—spilling hot, pulse after pulse. She keeps grinding through it, milking you until you’re shaking.
When you’re done, she doesn’t stop right away. Rides you through the aftershocks, slow and gentle, until you’re both oversensitive and gasping.
Finally she stills. Leans down. Kisses your forehead. Then your mouth.
“Good boy,” she murmurs. “So good for noona.”
She stays on top of you a minute longer—both of you catching your breath, sticky and wrecked.
Then she smiles, brushes hair out of your eyes.
“Wanna play another round of your game now?” she teases. “Or you wanna stay like this a while?”
You laugh, weak. Wrap your arms around her waist.
“Stay,” you say. “Definitely stay.”
She hums happily. Settles against your chest.
“Thought so.”
You lose count of the rounds after that.
She flips you over eventually, gets on all fours, ass up, looking back with that wicked smile. “Your turn, baby. Fuck noona like you mean it.”
You do. Hands on her hips, thrusting deep, watching her tits swing, her moans muffled into the pillow. She comes hard clenching around you, pushes you over the edge again—inside, always inside.
Later, in the shower. Water hot, steam thick. She’s pressed against the tiles, legs wrapped around your waist while you fuck her slow and sloppy. Soap everywhere. Her nails rake your back. You come one last time, shaking, whispering “noona” like a prayer.
When it’s over, you both towel off quiet. She kisses you soft at the balcony door. “Go home before your mom notices.”
You slip back over the railing, heart still racing. Land in your own balcony just as the living room light flicks on.
Your mom steps out, arms crossed. “Where were you this late?”
You shrug, trying to look casual, hair still damp. “Just… next door. At Magenta’s. Listening to her music. She was practicing new stuff.”
Mom raises an eyebrow, sniffs the air—maybe catches the faint vanilla and smoke. But she just sighs. “Don’t make a habit of it. Go shower and sleep.”
You nod fast, duck inside, slip to your room. Door shut, you lean against it, grinning like an idiot.
Your phone buzzes immediately.
Magenta: “Miss you already. Come over tomorrow after school? Noona’s got more ‘music’ for you.”
You wake up to the smell of instant coffee and the sound of someone humming in the kitchen.
Your phone says 10:17 a.m. Weekend. No alarm. Perfect.
Then you hear tiny feet slapping against the floor tiles, getting closer fast.
"Baby! Baby baby baby wake up wake up!" Yeojin bursts into the bedroom like a tornado.
She jumps onto the bed, lands on your stomach with her knees, not hard enough to hurt but enough to make you grunt.
"Yeojin—air—"
She giggles and flops down on top of you, face right in your neck. "You were sleeping like a dead log. I already made coffee. And I burned the toast. But it's okay because I made extra cute hearts with the jam. You have to see."
You crack one eye open. She's grinning so wide her cheeks look like little apples. "You burned toast… and you're proud?"
"Not proud! Just… honest." She pokes your cheek. "Come on, get up. I miss your face when you're awake."
You groan but wrap both arms around her tiny waist anyway. She's so small you can almost touch your own elbows when you hug her like this. "Five more minutes."
"Noooooo." She wiggles, trying to escape but not really trying. "If you stay in bed I'll start singing the SpongeBob theme again. You hate when I do the Patrick voice."
"You do the Patrick voice every morning."
"Exactly. So get up before I start."
You sigh, dramatic, then roll her off you gently and sit up. She immediately climbs onto your lap facing you, legs crossed like a pretzel, hands on your shoulders.
"Hi," she says softly, like she hasn't seen you in years even though you fell asleep next to each other six hours ago.
"Hi," You brush some hair out of her eyes. "You look like you fought a pillow and lost."
She gasps, fake offended. "Excuse me? This is peak morning glow. You're just jealous because your hair looks like a sad bird nest every day."
You laugh despite yourself. "Fair."
She leans in and kisses the tip of your nose. "Okay, coffee time. Come come come."
She hops off, grabs your hand, and drags you toward the kitchen. You let her. It's easier than arguing with 5-foot-nothing of pure energy at 10 in the morning.
The kitchen is small and chaotic like always.
Two mismatched mugs on the counter. One says "Best Girl" in glittery letters (hers), the other is plain white (yours because you're boring, she says).
Toast on a plate—yes, definitely burned on one side, but she drew lopsided hearts with strawberry jam.
Next to it, a tiny vase with one slightly wilted daisy she probably stole from the neighbor's planter again.
"Sit sit." She pushes you into a chair, then plops onto your lap instead of using her own seat. Habit. You don't even complain anymore.
You take a sip of coffee. It's instant, a little too sweet, exactly how she likes it. "You put three sugars in mine again."
"Because you secretly like sweet things but pretend you're a black-coffee tough guy." She pokes your chest. "I know your secrets."
You raise an eyebrow. "What else do you know?"
She leans close, whispers like it's top secret. "I know you checked your phone at 3 a.m. to see if I texted you goodnight even though I was literally sleeping on your arm."
Your face heats up. "I was… checking the weather."
"Liar." She giggles and steals a bite of the less-burnt toast. "Mmm. Charcoal flavor. Gourmet."
She beams, then suddenly hops off your lap. "Wait wait wait! I forgot the most important part!"
She runs to the living room and comes back holding her phone like it's a trophy. "I took a picture this morning. Look look look."
She shoves the screen in your face. It's her—standing on the orange bench in the bedroom, arms stretched up high, back arched, stomach showing because the crop top rode up. Sunlight everywhere. She looks tiny and bright and unfairly pretty.
"I look cute right?" she asks, bouncing on her toes.
"You always look cute."
"No no, rate it. One to ten. Be honest."
You pretend to think hard. "Solid nine-point-eight."
She pouts. "Where's the missing zero-point-two?"
"Your hair was blocking half your face in the shot."
She gasps, slaps your arm lightly. "Rude! Delete that mental note. I'm deleting the photo now."
"Don't you dare." You grab her wrist gently. "I want to keep it."
She tilts her head. "Why?"
"Because…" You shrug, suddenly shy. "When you're at work and I'm stuck in meetings, I can look at it and remember you were happy this morning."
Her eyes go soft. She puts the phone down, climbs back onto your lap, and hugs you tight around the neck. "You're so cheesy sometimes."
"But I love it." She kisses your cheek, then your jaw, then the corner of your mouth.
"Okay, new plan. We stay in pajamas all day. No outside clothes. We watch that dumb reality show you pretend you hate. I make more bad toast. You carry me to the couch because I'm small and cute and deserve princess treatment."
You laugh. "That's a lot of demands."
"It's not demands. It's… girlfriend rights." She wiggles her eyebrows. "You signed the contract when you said I could keep my plushie collection on your side of the bed."
"I regret everything."
"No you don't." She pokes your nose. "Say it."
"I don't regret anything."
"Good boy." She grins, then hops off again. "Couch time! Now!"
She grabs both mugs and runs to the living room. You follow slower, watching her bounce around in those too-long pajama pants, tripping a little on the hem, giggling at herself.
When you get there she's already curled up under the blanket, patting the spot next to her. "Hurry! The episode won't watch itself."
You sit. She immediately attaches to your side like a koala—head on your chest, one leg thrown over yours, tiny hand grabbing your shirt.
"Play it," she mumbles, already half distracted by her own phone again.
You hit play. Some screaming reality show about people living in a house and fighting over nothing. You don't care. You care about her fingers drawing little circles on your stomach under the shirt, about her quiet hum when the theme song starts, about the way she smells like strawberry shampoo and coffee.
Halfway through the episode she suddenly sits up. "Wait. Important question."
"Yeah?"
"Do you think I'm too clingy?"
You blink. "What?"
She looks down at her hands. "Like… I know I'm always on you. Hugging. Sitting on you. Texting you dumb memes at 2 a.m. Some people say that's annoying."
You pull her closer until she's straddling your lap again. "Who said that?"
"Just… some girls at work. They were joking but…" She shrugs, small. "I don't want to be annoying to you."
You cup her face with both hands. "Yeojin. Look at me."
She does. Big eyes, a little worried.
"You are the least annoying person I've ever met. I like when you sit on me. I like when you steal half the blanket. I like when you send me the same cat video three times because you forgot you already sent it. I like all of it. Okay?"
She sniffs once. "Promise?"
"Promise."
She smiles again, small and real this time. "Okay. Good. Because I don't think I can stop even if I tried."
"Don't try."
She laughs, wipes her eyes quick like she hopes you didn't notice, then kisses you properly—slow, soft, tasting like jam and coffee.
When she pulls back she's grinning again. "Okay, back to the show. That girl is about to throw wine. I need to see this."
You settle back, her tucked against you again, between your legs now, pressed her back against your chest.
Then, out of nowhere, very softly: "I love you, you know."
You freeze for half a second. She's said it before, but it still hits like the first time.
You kiss the top of her head from behind. "Love you too."
She squeezes you tighter. "Good. Don't forget."
"Never."
You barely notice the show.
You tighten your arms around her waist, chin resting on her shoulder. She sighs, happy little sound, and tilts her head so her cheek brushes yours.
"Comfy?" you murmur against her ear.
"Mmhm. Very." She wiggles a little, ass pressing back against you just enough to make you suck in a breath. "You're warm."
You're already half hard from the way she's been squirming every time she laughs at the tv. You shift your hips slightly, letting her feel it.
She freezes for half a second, then lets out a tiny "oh".
You don't say anything. Just drop your lips to the side of her neck, soft at first. One kiss. Another. She shivers.
"Baby..." Her voice comes out small, a little warning. "We're watching."
You kiss lower, right where her pulse jumps. "Keep watching."
Your right hand slides up under her crop top, slow. Fingers brush the underside of her small breast, then cup it fully. No bra. Just soft skin, nipple already pebbled from the AC and maybe from you. You thumb over it gently.
She gasps, back arching a fraction. "Wait... not now..."
But she doesn't push your hand away. Doesn't move forward. Just breathes faster.
You keep kissing her neck, open-mouthed now, little sucks that you know leave faint marks she pretends to hate later. Your left hand stays on her stomach for a moment, feeling her quick breaths, then drifts lower. Over the waistband of those baggy pants. Under.
She's not wearing panties either. Just bare, warm, already a little slick when your fingers find her folds.
"Yeojin," you whisper against her skin. "You're wet."
She whimpers, tries to close her thighs but your hand is already there, middle finger sliding between her lips, slow circle around her clit. "I... I said wait..."
"You did." You pinch her nipple lightly with your other hand, roll it between thumb and finger. "But your body's saying something else."
She moans, soft and broken, head falling back against your shoulder. "That's... not fair..."
"Shh." You kiss the spot under her ear. "Just feel good for me, okay? Watch the show."
She tries. Eyes flick to the screen, but they're glassy. Her hips twitch forward every time your finger circles her clit, then back against your cock that's straining against your shorts now.
You add pressure, rub firmer, dipping just the tip of your finger inside her every few strokes. She's so tight, so small, it makes your head spin.
"See?" you murmur. "You're dripping on my fingers already."
"Shut up..." But her voice cracks, no real fight in it. Her hand comes up, grabs your forearm like she's going to stop you, but instead she just holds on, nails digging in a little.
You slide your middle finger all the way in, slow. She clenches hard around it, lets out a shaky "fuck".
"Good girl," you breathe against her neck. "Just like that."
You add your ring finger, stretching her gently. She's so wet it slides in easy. You curl them, find that spot that makes her whole body jerk.
"Ah—there—"
You keep hitting it, steady rhythm, while your thumb works her clit in tight circles. Your other hand kneads her breast, tugging the nipple every time she moans louder.
She's panting now, hips rocking shamelessly against your hand. The blanket's bunched around your waists. On screen someone throws a drink. Neither of you cares.
"Baby... I'm gonna..." Her voice is high, desperate.
"Yeah?" You suck harder on her neck. "Come for me. Right here on the couch."
She shakes her head weakly. "But... but the show..."
"Forget the show." You thrust your fingers faster, deeper. "Come on my fingers, let me feel it."
Her thighs tremble. She grabs your wrist harder, but she's pushing your hand closer, not pulling it away. "Oh god... oh god..."
You feel it start—the way she flutters around your fingers, tight pulses, her whole body going stiff then melting against you. She comes with a choked cry, muffled against your shoulder, hips bucking hard. Wetness coats your hand, drips down your wrist.
You keep moving slow through it, drawing it out until she's whimpering, oversensitive, squirming.
"Too much... too much..." she gasps, finally pushing at your wrist.
You pull your fingers out gently, bring them up to her lips. "Taste."
She opens her mouth away. Sucks your fingers clean, tongue swirling, eyes half-lidded.
"Good?" you ask, voice rough.
She nods, shy now. "Mhm..."
You turn her face toward you with your other hand, kiss her deep. Taste herself on her tongue. She melts into it, soft little moans still slipping out.
When you pull back she's flushed, hair messy, lips swollen.
"You okay?" you ask quietly.
She nods, buries her face in your neck. "Yeah... just... embarrassed."
"Why?"
"Because I said no at first and then... I came so hard." Her voice is tiny. "You always make me feel like that."
You wrap both arms around her again, tight. "That's the point, tiny. I like making you feel good. Even when you pretend you don't want it at first."
She huffs against your skin. "You're mean."
"Only a little." You kiss her forehead. "Want me to stop?"
She shakes her head fast. "No... don't stop."
You smile against her hair. "Good. Because I'm not done with you yet."
You keep your fingers right where they are, still inside her, moving slow now—lazy curls that make her hips twitch every few seconds. She's still catching her breath from the first one, chest rising and falling fast under that little crop top. Her pajama pants are pushed down just past her hips, bunched around her thighs, the fabric damp where it touches her.
You lean in close, lips brushing her ear. "You came so quick for me. Barely had to try."
She whines, tries to hide her face in your neck. "Stop... saying stuff like that."
"Why?" You pump your fingers a little deeper, thumb brushing her clit again. "You like it. I can feel how much tighter you get when I talk dirty."
She shivers hard, thighs squeezing around your hand. "You're... mean."
"Mean?" You chuckle low, kiss the shell of her ear. "I'm just telling the truth. My pretty little girlfriend gets so fucking wet when I touch her like this. Look how you're dripping down my wrist again."
She makes a small, embarrassed noise but her hips roll forward anyway, chasing your fingers.
"You want more?" you whisper. "Want me to make you come again? Gonna be a good girl and let me finger this tight little pussy until you can't think straight?"
"God..." Her voice cracks. "Yes... please..."
You add a third finger, stretching her slow. She's so small it takes a second, but she opens up for you, slick and hot and clenching like she can't help it.
"That's it," you murmur. "Take it. Let me fill you up. You're so greedy for it, aren't you? Acting all shy but your cunt's sucking my fingers right back in."
She moans louder this time, head tipping back against your shoulder. Her hands grab your forearm, nails biting in, but she's not stopping you—she's holding you there, making sure you don't pull away.
You keep the rhythm steady, curling against that spot inside her every thrust. "Gonna come again for me? Gonna soak my hand like a good slut?"
She nods frantically, words tumbling out. "Yes yes yes—don't stop—please—"
You speed up just enough. Her breathing turns ragged, little gasps every time your thumb flicks her clit. Then she breaks, body locking up, thighs shaking, a sharp cry ripping out of her as she comes hard around your fingers.
You feel every pulse, every flutter, the way she gushes wetter than before.
When she finally slumps, panting, you ease your fingers out slow. She's a mess—flushed cheeks, glassy eyes, lips parted.
But you're not done.
You slide out from behind her, gentle but firm, and let her settle into her back on the couch. The blanket falls to the floor. Her pajama pants are halfway down her legs now; you tug them the rest of the way off, toss them aside. Her cropped top rides up, exposing her flat stomach and those small, perfect tits.
She looks up at you, dazed. "What... what are you—"
"Shh." You settle between her thighs, pushing them wide. She's so tiny like this—legs spread, pussy glistening, clit swollen and pink. "Gonna eat you out now. Been thinking about tasting you all morning."
Her eyes go wide. "Wait... it's... messy..."
You grin, lower your head. "That's how I like it."
You don't tease. You dive in—flat tongue licking a long, slow stripe from her entrance up to her clit. She jerks, hands flying to your hair.
"Oh fuck—"
You groan against her. She tastes sweet and salty, still pulsing from the last orgasm. You lap at her entrance, pushing your tongue inside just to feel her clench, then drag it back up to circle her clit.
"Baby..." she whimpers. "It's too much... sensitive..."
You pull back just enough to speak, lips wet with her. "You can take it. Be good for me."
Then you suck her clit into your mouth, gentle but firm, flicking the tip of your tongue fast. Her hips buck up hard, thighs clamping around your head.
"Ah—there—right there—"
You keep the pressure steady, tongue working her in tight little circles while one hand slides up to pinch her nipple through the thin shirt. The other hand grips her thigh, holding her open so you can lick deeper.
She's loud now—high, broken moans filling the room. The tv is still on, some argument blaring, but it's background noise. All you hear is her.
You flatten your tongue again, licking broad and slow, then point it to flick her clit quick. She starts babbling.
"Gonna come—gonna come again—please please—"
You hum against her, the vibration making her cry out. Then you suck harder, tongue relentless, until she snaps.
Her whole body arches off the couch, hands yanking your hair, thighs shaking so hard you have to hold them down. She comes with a sob, flooding your mouth, hips grinding against your face like she can't stop.
You keep going through it—soft licks now, easing her down—until she's whimpering and pushing weakly at your head.
"Too much... too sensitive... please..."
You pull back slow, kiss the inside of her thigh, then crawl up her body. She's wrecked—hair everywhere, cheeks red, chest heaving.
You kiss her deep, let her taste herself on your tongue. She moans into your mouth, arms wrapping around your neck like she'll never let go.
You pull back from her slowly, letting her catch her breath on the couch. She's still sprawled there, legs parted, pussy shiny and puffy from your mouth.
You stand up in front of her. The tv is still droning in the background—some ad now—but it's just noise. You hook your thumbs into the waistband of your shorts and boxers, shove them down in one go.
Your cock springs free, thick and hard, veins standing out along the shaft, head already slick with precum.
Yeojin’s eyes snap to it like she's hypnotized. She scoots forward immediately, ass sliding on the couch cushion until she's right at the edge, legs dangling off. She tilts her head back, looking straight up at you, mouth parting a little.
Your cock rests heavy right on her face—base against her chin, shaft lying along her cheek and nose, tip brushing her forehead. The weight of it makes her blink slow, lashes fluttering.
"God..." she whispers, voice shaky. "It's so big..."
You look down at her. Tiny Yeojin, hair messy, eyes wide and dark, staring up like she's seeing it for the first time even though she's had it in her mouth plenty.
Her small hands come up, fingers wrapping around the base—not even close to circling it fully—and she gives a tiny, experimental stroke.
"Like that?" you ask, voice rough.
She nods fast, cheeks burning. "Mhm... heavy... warm..."
She turns her head a little, nuzzling the underside of your shaft with her cheek, lips brushing the vein that runs along the bottom. You groan low, hand sliding into her hair, not pulling yet—just holding.
"Open," you tell her.
She does. Mouth falling open right away, tongue flat and waiting. You shift your hips, slide the head past her lips slow. She hums around it, eyes squeezing shut for a second like the stretch is already a lot. You don't push deep—just let her suck the tip, tongue swirling messy and eager.
"Good girl," you mutter. "Just like that... take what you can."
She moans around you, the sound vibrating straight up your cock. One hand stays on the base, stroking what her mouth can't reach, the other cups your balls gently, rolling them in her palm like she's memorizing the feel.
You rock forward a little more. She gags softly when the head hits the back of her throat, but she doesn't pull away. Tears prick at the corners of her eyes, but she keeps looking up at you—big, watery, needy.
"Look at you," you say, thumb brushing a tear off her cheek. "So pretty with my cock on your face... in your mouth... you're made for this, aren't you?"
She nods as best she can, muffled "mmph" around you. Drool starts leaking from the corner of her mouth, sliding down her chin. She doesn't care. Just keeps sucking, hollowing her cheeks, tongue flicking the slit every time you pull back a little.
You pull out slow, cock slick and shining with her spit. It slaps lightly against her cheek when you let it drop. She gasps, chasing it with her tongue, licking the underside like she can't get enough.
"Want more?" you ask.
"Yes..." Her voice is wrecked, hoarse already. "Please... want it all..."
You guide her head back with your hand in her hair. "Then open wide, tiny. Gonna fuck your throat a little."
She opens immediately, tongue out, eyes locked on yours. You slide back in—deeper this time. She gags harder, throat fluttering around you, but she takes it. Hands gripping your thighs, nails digging in for balance.
You start slow thrusts—shallow at first, letting her adjust, then a little deeper each time. Every push makes her whimper, makes more spit drip down her chin onto her chest, soaking the crop top.
"Fuck... that's it," you groan. "Taking me so good... my perfect little cockslut."
She moans loud around you, the sound desperate. Her hips squirm on the couch—she's grinding against nothing, thighs pressing together like she's aching again.
You pull out all the way. Your cock bobs in front of her face, strings of spit connecting it to her lips. She pants, chest heaving, looking up at you like she's begging without words.
"Turn around," you say. "Ass up. Face down on the couch."
She scrambles to obey—fast, clumsy, needy. Gets on her knees, bends forward, cheek pressed to the cushion, ass in the air. Those striped pajama pants are long gone; she's bare from the waist down, pussy still dripping from earlier.
You step closer, cock brushing her ass cheek. One hand on her hip, the other guiding yourself to her entrance.
"Ready?" you ask, rubbing the head along her folds.
She nods frantically, pushing back. "Yes... please..."
You push in slow—one long, steady slide until you're buried deep. She's so tight, so wet, it makes your head spin. She cries out, muffled against the couch, back arching.
"Too big..." she whimpers, but her hips rock back anyway.
"You can take it," you murmur, hands gripping her tiny waist. "You always do."
You start moving—slow at first, letting her feel every inch, every vein dragging inside her. Then faster. Harder. The couch creaks under you both.
She’s loud—moans turning into little sobs of pleasure every time you bottom out. "There—right there—fuck—"
You lean over her, chest to her back, one arm wrapping around to find her clit again. You rub tight circles while you thrust, deep and rough.
"Come again," you growl in her ear. "Come on my cock this time. Let me feel it."
She breaks fast—body shaking, pussy clamping down so hard it almost hurts. She screams your name into the cushion, hips bucking wild. You don’t stop—keep fucking her through it, drawing it out until she’s trembling, oversensitive, begging.
"Please... too much... don’t stop..."
You kiss her sweaty shoulder. "Not stopping, baby. Not until I fill you up."
Her only answer is another broken moan.
You thrust harder, chasing it now—balls tight, heat building fast.
"Gonna come inside you," you warn. "Gonna fill this tight little pussy."
"Yes—yes—please—"
You slam in one last time, deep as you can go, and come hard—hot pulses flooding her, spilling out around your cock because she’s so full. She whimpers at the feel, clenching again like she’s coming a second time just from that.
You stay buried inside her, both of you panting, sweaty, shaking.
After a minute you pull out slow. Cum drips down her thighs. She collapses flat on the couch, ass still up a little, looking completely fucked out.
You drop down beside her, pull her into your arms. She curls into you instantly, face in your chest, legs tangling with yours.
"Love you..." she mumbles, voice small and sleepy.
"Love you too, tiny."
She smiles against your skin, already drifting.
The tv is still on. Some new episode starting.
Neither of you moves to turn it off.
The rest of the day blurs into one long, lazy haze.
After you both collapse on the couch, sweaty and spent, you carry her to the bathroom—her legs still shaky, arms looped loose around your neck.
The shower starts hot; steam fills the tiny space fast. She giggles when you pin her against the tiles, water streaming over her small body. You soap her up slow, hands everywhere, then she drops to her knees, takes you in her mouth again until you’re groaning her name against the wall.
You fuck her standing up—her legs wrapped around your waist, back sliding on wet tile—then bent over the sink, mirror fogged, her moans echoing off the porcelain.
Later, back in bed, slow and deep under the sheets, sunlight slanting through blinds. Nap. Wake. Fuck again. Order takeout. Eat half-naked on the floor.
Shower round two. Round three in the living room, her riding you slow while some forgotten show plays.
By Sunday night she’s sore, marked with faint hickeys and fingerprints, curled against your chest whispering, “Best weekend ever.”
You kiss her temple. “We’re doing it again next one.”
I was sitting alone in the back row of the library during lunch period, like always. Hoodie up, earbuds in but no music playing—just pretending so nobody would talk to me.
My laptop screen showed some fake physics notes, but really, I was scrolling through the same three photos I’d saved of Hyerin from her social. She had those big glossy lips that everybody called DSL and yeah, I was disgusting for thinking about it all day.
The library door creaked. I minimized the window fast.
Hyerin walked in. Black skirt way too short for school rules, white crop top, hair in a high ponytail. She scanned the room, spotted me, and—fuck—she actually started walking straight toward my table.
I yanked my earbuds out and sat up straighter like that would make me look less like a loser.
“Hey, loser,” she said, dropping her bag on the chair across from me. Her voice was light, teasing, the way girls talk when they know they have all the power.
“H-hi,” I mumbled. My throat felt dry already.
She pulled the chair out and sat, crossing her legs so the skirt rode up even more. “You’ve been staring at me in the cafeteria for like three weeks straight. Think I didn’t notice?”
My face burned. “I—I wasn’t—”
“Shut up.” She leaned forward, elbows on the table, lips curved in that half-smile that made my stomach flip. “I’m not mad. It’s kinda cute. Pathetic, but cute.”
I couldn’t look at her eyes so I stared at her collarbone instead. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. Just be honest.” She tilted her head. “You jerk off thinking about my mouth, don’t you?”
I swear my heart stopped for a second. I nodded once, tiny, like if I didn’t move too much she wouldn’t see it.
“Words, nerd.”
“…Yeah.”
“Yeah what?”
“I… think about your mouth. A lot.”
She laughed—soft, not mean. “Knew it. This lips, right? Everybody says I got DSL looks like.”
I swallowed hard. “They’re… perfect.”
She licked them slowly, watching my reaction. My dick twitched in my jeans immediately.
“You want them on you?” she asked, voice lower now.
She leaned back, studying me like I was homework. “You said in your head a million times already, didn’t you?”
I knew exactly what she meant. I’d practiced it in my mind like a prayer.
“Say it out loud,” she ordered. “Right now. Clear.”
My hands were shaking under the table. I looked around—no one close. The librarian was all the way at the front desk.
I leaned in a little. Voice barely above a whisper.
“Hyerin… please suck my dick with those DSL. I’ll do anything for it.”
She didn’t laugh. She just stared at me for a long second, then bit her bottom lip like she was thinking.
“Anything?” she repeated.
“Anything,” I said, desperate.
She tapped one long nail on the table. “Okay. Follow me.”
She stood up, grabbed her bag, and walked toward the back exit that led to the old storage hallway nobody used. I scrambled after her, almost knocking my chair over.
The hallway was dim, smelled like dust and old books. She stopped at the third door—the AV room that hadn’t been locked properly since last year. She pushed it open and went inside. I followed and closed it behind us.
No windows. Just a table, some old projectors, stacks of chairs.
She turned around and leaned against the table, arms crossed under her chest so her tits pushed up.
“Pants down,” she said.
My fingers felt numb. I fumbled with the button, shoved my jeans and boxers to my thighs. My dick sprang up, already leaking at the tip. I was so hard it hurt.
Hyerin looked down and smirked. “Aw. It’s kinda cute. Twitching like that.”
I wanted to die and come at the same time.
She stepped closer until her sneakers almost touched mine. “You really meant that ‘anything’ part?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” She dropped to her knees right there on the dusty floor. No hesitation. My brain short-circuited.
She wrapped her fingers around the base—cool at first, then warm. “Look at me while I do it. No looking away.”
I nodded fast.
She leaned in and dragged her tongue flat from balls to tip, slow, eyes locked on mine the whole time.
“Fuck, Hyerin...” I groaned like an idiot.
“Quiet,” she warned. “You want someone to hear?”
I bit my lip hard.
She opened her mouth and took just the head inside. Those lips—fuck, they looked even better stretched around me. Soft, glossy, perfect. She sucked lightly, tongue flicking the slit, then pulled off with a wet pop.
“You like that?” she asked, voice husky.
“God yes.”
“Say thank you.”
“Thank you.”
She smiled, pleased, then went back down—deeper this time. Halfway. Her cheeks hollowed. I felt the back of her throat flutter.
I grabbed the edge of the table so I wouldn’t grab her head. “Holy shit…”
She hummed around me. The vibration went straight to my balls.
She started bobbing—slow at first, then faster. Wet, sloppy sounds filled the room. She didn’t care about being neat. Spit dripped down her chin. Every time she pulled back she let a thick string of it connect her lips to my tip before diving again.
She stroked me fast with her, “I’ve been practicing on bananas since middle school.”
I almost came right then.
“Don’t you dare finish yet,” she said sharply. “You don’t get to come until I say.”
I whimpered. “Okay… okay…”
She went back down, all the way this time. Nose against my stomach. I felt her throat squeeze around me. She held it there, gagging a little, eyes watering, but she didn’t pull back until she needed air.
When she finally came up she was breathing hard. “Fuck, you’re thicker than I thought.”
“Sorry—”
She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “I like it. Makes my jaw hurt. That’s hot.”
She stood up suddenly. “Take your hoodie off. And shirt.”
I obeyed in record time. Naked from the waist up, jeans still around my thighs.
She pulled her crop top over her head. No bra. Her tits were perfect—round, perky, pale pink nipples already hard.
“Touch them,” she said.
My hands shook as I cupped them. Soft. Warm. I brushed my thumbs over the nipples and she moaned quietly.
“Suck,” she ordered.
I bent down and took one in my mouth. She grabbed my hair and pulled me closer. “Harder.”
I sucked harder. She gasped.
“Good boy,” she whispered. “Now the other one.”
I switched. She kept stroking my dick slowly while I sucked her tits, keeping me right on the edge.
After a minute she pushed me back gently. “Sit on the table.”
I hopped up. She stepped between my legs.
“Lie back.”
I did. Cold table against my back. She climbed up, straddling my thighs, skirt hiked around her waist. I could see her white panties—wet spot right in the middle.
“You want to fuck me?” she asked, grinding down so my dick slid against the damp cotton.
“Yes—please—”
“Not yet.” She reached down, pulled her panties to the side. Shaved. Pink. Soaking. “First you’re gonna watch me come on your cock. No moving. Just stay still.”
She lined me up and sank down—slow. Tight. Hot. I groaned loud enough that she slapped her hand over my mouth.
“Shhh.”
She started riding—small rolls of her hips at first, then bigger. Her tits bounced with every move. She braced her hands on my chest, nails digging in.
“Look at my lips,” she panted. “Watch them while I fuck you.”
I stared at her mouth—open, glossy, swollen from sucking me earlier.
“You still want these lips again?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“Beg.”
“Please, Hyerin… please suck me again after… I need it… I’ll do whatever you want…”
She grinned, wicked. “You’re gonna eat me out every day after school. Starting tomorrow. You understand?”
“Yes—fuck—yes—”
She sped up. “And you’re gonna carry my bag between classes. And get my lunch. And do my math homework.”
“Anything—anything—”
“Good boy.” She leaned down, lips brushing my ear. “I’m close… you’re gonna pull out when I tell you. Then you’re gonna come all over my tits. Got it?”
She rode harder, grinding her clit against me. Her breathing turned into little whimpers. “Don’t come yet… wait… wait…”
I was shaking, fighting it. Balls tight. Every thrust was torture.
“Now,” she gasped. “Pull out—now!”
I grabbed her hips and lifted her off me just in time. She slid down my body so her tits were right over my dick. I wrapped my hand around myself—two fast strokes—and exploded.
Thick ropes shot out, hitting her chest first, then splashing across both tits. White streaks painted her skin, dripping down the curves, some landing on her hard nipples. She moaned low, watching it happen, rubbing the head of my dick against her slick skin to milk the last few spurts.
“Fuck… look at that mess,” she whispered, almost proud. She scooped a little with her finger and licked it off, eyes on mine. “Tastes like you’re obsessed with me.”
I couldn’t speak. Just panted, staring at the cum glistening on her perfect tits.
She climbed off the table and fixed her skirt. Didn’t wipe anything off—just pulled her crop top back on over the sticky mess. The white fabric clung in spots, turning see-through where it soaked in.
“Clean yourself up,” she said, smirking. “You’ve got five minutes before next period.”
I nodded, dazed, still leaking a little.
She grabbed her bag, turned back at the door.
“And tomorrow?” She pointed at me. “After last bell. Girls’ bathroom near the gym. You’re eating me out until I can’t stand. Got it?”
“Yes, Hyerin.”
She licked her lips one last time—still shiny from earlier—and walked out,
The bell rang for the end of last period, and my stomach was already in knots. All day I’d been useless—dropped my pencil twice in math, zoned out in history thinking about her cum-glazed tits under that crop top yesterday. I kept my head down, hoodie up, avoiding eye contact with anyone. Especially her.
I waited until the halls were mostly empty, then walked to the girls’ bathroom near the gym like she’d ordered. The one nobody really used after school because the lights flickered and it smelled like old bleach. Door was cracked open. I pushed it slowly.
Hyerin was already there, leaning against the sink counter, arms crossed. Same short black skirt, but today she had on a tight red tank top that hugged everything. Lip gloss fresh, shiny as hell. She looked me up and down like she was deciding if I was worth her time.
“You’re late,” she said, even though I wasn’t.
“Sorry,” I mumbled, closing the door behind me. The lock clicked.
She pushed off the counter and walked over, slow, hips swaying. Stopped right in front of me. Close enough I could smell her vanilla perfume mixed with something sweeter.
“On your knees,” she said quietly.
I dropped without thinking. Tile was cold through my jeans.
She looked down at me, smirking. “You’ve been thinking about this all day, haven’t you?”
“Yeah.”
“Say it.”
“I’ve been thinking about eating you out since yesterday. Couldn’t focus on anything else.”
She laughed softly. “Pathetic. I like it.”
Then she grabbed my hoodie strings, pulled me up a little so my face was level with her stomach. She bent down and kissed me—hard. Not sweet. Her lips smashed against mine, tongue pushing in right away. She tasted like cherry gloss and mint gum. I groaned into her mouth.
She bit my bottom lip, tugged, then sucked on it before pulling back just enough to speak. “Open wider,” she mumbled against me.
I did. She spat into my mouth—slow, thick string of spit that landed on my tongue. Salty, warm. Then she kissed me again, deeper, swirling her tongue around mine, spreading it everywhere. My head spun. I’d never been kissed like this—like she owned my mouth.
She pulled back just enough to whisper, “Swallow.”
I did. Tasted her. My dick jumped against her thigh.
“Good,” she purred. “You like my spit in your mouth?”
“Y-yes…”
She smiled, wicked. “You’re gonna get a lot more than that today.”
She pushed me back until my ass hit the sink counter. Then she hopped up beside my clothes pile, spread her legs wide. Skirt rode up. No panties today—just smooth skin and her pussy already glistening.
“On your knees,” she said.
I dropped fast. Floor was cold tile. Didn’t care. Face level with her. She smelled sweet and musky, like sex already.
“Look at it first,” she ordered. “Tell me what you see.”
I stared. Pink lips, swollen a little, clit peeking out, shiny with wetness. A thin string of her arousal stretched down toward the counter.
“You’re… so wet,” I said, voice shaky. “Looks so good...”
She reached down, spread herself with two fingers. “Now eat me. Slow at first. No rushing.”
I leaned in. First touch was just my lips kissing her outer lips, soft. She sighed. I dragged my tongue flat up one side, then the other, tasting her. Salty-sweet, warm. Addictive.
“Fuck… yeah,” she breathed. “Like that.”
I circled her clit with the tip of my tongue, light pressure. She jerked a little.
“More,” she said. “Suck it.”
I wrapped my lips around her clit and sucked gently. She moaned—loud in the empty bathroom. Her hand went into my hair, gripping tight.
“Harder. Use your tongue flat.”
I pressed harder, flicked fast, then slow circles. She started grinding against my face, small rolls of her hips. Her wetness smeared on my chin, my cheeks. I didn’t care. I wanted to drown in it.
“You’re good at this,” she panted. “Keep going. Don’t stop.”
I slid my tongue lower, pushed inside her. She was tight, hot, clenching around me. I fucked her with my tongue, in and out, then back up to her clit. She was dripping now—down my chin, onto the floor.
“Fingers,” she gasped. “Two. Now.”
I pushed two fingers in slow. She was so wet they slid right to the knuckle. Curled them up, found that spot. She bucked hard.
“Right there—fuck—don’t stop!”
I sucked her clit harder, fingers pumping steady. Her thighs started shaking around my head.
“I’m gonna come,” she warned. “You better not pull away. Drink it.”
I moaned against her so she felt the vibration. That did it.
She clamped down on my fingers, thighs squeezing my ears. A gush of wetness hit my tongue—hot, slippery. She cried out, sharp and loud, grinding hard against my face while she came. Pulse after pulse. I kept licking, sucking, swallowing everything she gave me.
When she finally relaxed, she was breathing ragged. She pulled my head back by the hair, looked down at me. My face was a mess—chin shiny, lips swollen.
“Look at you,” she said, almost soft. “Covered in me.”
She smirked. “You’re gonna do this every day after school. Understand?”
“Yes.”
She slid off the counter, legs a little shaky. Pushed me back so I was sitting on the floor, back against the wall. My dick was rock hard, leaking steady now.
She knelt between my legs, grabbed my shaft. “You earned this.”
Those lips wrapped around me again. No teasing this time—just deep, wet, fast. She bobbed hard, cheeks hollowing, spit running down my balls. One hand cupped them, rolling gently. The other stroked what her mouth couldn’t reach.
I groaned. “Hyerin—fuck—I’m close already.”
She pulled off, stroked fast. “Where do you want to come?”
“Your mouth… please…”
She grinned, dove back down. Took me all the way. Throat squeezed. I lost it.
I came hard, hips jerking. She didn’t pull away—swallowed every pulse, humming around me so it felt even better. When I was done she sucked slow, cleaning me off, then popped off with a wet sound.
She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, stood up.
“Get dressed,” she said. “We’re done for today.”
I scrambled up, legs weak. Pulled my clothes on while she fixed her skirt and checked her makeup in the mirror.
She turned to me at the door. “Tomorrow. Same time. Bring a clean towel from the locker room. I want to sit on your face next time.”
My dick twitched again even though I’d just come.
“Yes, Hyerin.”
She unlocked the door, gave me one last look—lips still puffy from everything we’d done.
“Don’t be late.”
The next day dragged like hell. Classes blurred together. I kept checking my phone under the desk, heart jumping every time it buzzed, but nothing from her until right after the final bell.
My screen lit up. One message from Hyerin.
“Paradise Inn. Room 312. Hurry the fuck up. I hate waiting.”
No emojis. No teasing. Just that. My stomach flipped so hard I almost dropped the phone.
Paradise Inn was the cheap motel off the highway, the one kids whispered about for hookups and parties. Fifteen-minute walk from school if you cut through the back lot. I grabbed my bag and basically ran.
Sweat was already sticking my shirt to my back by the time I got there. The lobby smelled like stale cigarettes and cheap air freshener. I took the stairs—elevator looked like it might die—three at a time. Room 312. Door was cracked open just enough for the hallway light to spill in.
I pushed it wider.
Hyerin was inside, sitting on the edge of the bed in nothing but black lace panties and one of those thin hotel robes half-open. Hair down, messy like she’d been running her hands through it. Lipstick still perfect, though. The room smelled like her perfume and the faint chlorine from the pool outside.
She looked up from her phone, eyes narrowing.
“You took forever.”
“I ran,” I panted, closing the door behind me. Lock clicked.
She stood up slow, letting the robe slip off her shoulders and pool on the floor. Just the panties now. Her tits looked even better in the dim lamp light—full, nipples already hard.
“Strip,” she said. No hello. No games. “Everything off. Now.”
I fumbled my hoodie over my head, kicked off shoes, yanked jeans and boxers down in one go. Naked in seconds. Dick already half-hard just from seeing her like this.
She walked over, slow, hips rolling. Stopped right in front of me. Grabbed my chin, tilted my face up.
“You’re mine today,” she said quietly. “All fucking day. You do what I say, when I say. Got it?”
“Yes.”
She slapped my cheek—not hard, just enough to sting. “Louder.”
“Yes, Hyerin.”
“Good boy.” She pushed me back until my legs hit the bed. I sat. She climbed onto my lap, straddling me, grinding once so her lace-covered pussy dragged along my shaft. I groaned.
She kissed me—rough, tongue deep, biting my lip until I tasted copper. Then she pulled back, spit in my mouth again like yesterday, slow and deliberate. I swallowed it down.
“Lie back,” she ordered.
I scooted up the bed. She followed, crawling over me like a cat. Pushed my shoulders flat. Straddled my chest, then slid higher until her thighs framed my face.
“Eat me first,” she said, lowering herself. “Make me wet enough to take you raw.”
I grabbed her hips. Pulled her down. Her panties were soaked already. I licked through the lace—tasted her through the fabric. She moaned, rolled her hips.
“Move them,” she snapped.
I hooked my fingers in the sides, tugged them down her thighs. She kicked them off. Then sat right on my face—no teasing.
I went to work. Tongue flat, long licks from hole to clit. Sucked her clit hard like she liked. She rocked against me, grinding, smearing wetness across my chin and nose.
“Fuck—deeper,” she gasped. “Use your tongue inside.”
I pushed in as far as I could. She clenched around it. Her hands in my hair, pulling hard enough to hurt. She rode my face faster, thighs squeezing my ears.
“I’m gonna come quick,” she panted. “Don’t stop—don’t you fucking stop—”
She tensed. Shuddered. Flooded my mouth again—hot, sweet, a lot. I swallowed what I could, kept licking through the aftershocks until she shoved my head away, breathing ragged.
She slid down my body, slow. Positioned herself over my dick—still rock hard, leaking.
“You don’t get to come until I say,” she reminded me. “Not even close.”
She sank down—bare. No condom. Just her tight, wet heat swallowing me inch by inch. I groaned loud. She slapped my chest.
“Quiet. Walls are thin.”
She started riding—hard, fast, no warmup. Tits bouncing. Hands on my chest for leverage. Nails digging in.
“Look at me,” she ordered.
I did. Her eyes were dark, lips parted, hair falling in her face.
“You love this pussy, don’t you?”
“Yes—fuck—yes—”
“Say it.”
“I love your pussy, Hyerin. It’s perfect. So tight. So wet.”
She smirked, sped up. “You’re gonna fill it. But only when I tell you.”
She leaned down, kissed me messy while she fucked me. Tongue everywhere. Then sat back up, grinding her clit against my base every downstroke.
Her breathing changed—shorter, higher.
“I’m close again,” she whispered. “Gonna come on your cock. Then you pull out and come on my tits. Like yesterday. Understand?”
“Yes—”
She rode harder. Faster. Moaned louder than she should’ve. Her pussy fluttered around me—tight pulses.
I grabbed her hips, lifted her off just as she started shaking. She slid down quick, tits right over my dick. I stroked myself twice—hard—and came. Thick spurts hitting her chest, her neck, dripping down between her tits. One rope landed on her chin. She laughed breathlessly, rubbing the head against her skin to get every last drop.
“Messy boy,” she said, scooping some up with her finger, sucking it clean. “You taste desperate.”
She collapsed beside me, chest heaving, cum still glistening on her skin. Didn’t wipe it. Just let it dry there like a mark.
We lay like that for a minute. Quiet except for the AC humming.
Then she rolled onto her side, propped her head on her hand.
“This room’s paid for till tomorrow morning,” she said. “You’re not leaving till then.”
I looked at her. “What about—”
“Shut up.” She put a finger over my lips. “You’re staying. We’re gonna fuck again. And again. You’re gonna eat me whenever I want. Suck my tits. Whatever I say. And when I’m done using you, maybe I’ll let you sleep.”
She leaned in, kissed me slow this time—almost soft.
“But right now,” she whispered against my mouth, “get hard again. I want round two. And this time I’m riding your face while you finger me.”
She climbed back on top, already grinding against my softening dick.
Tags: An Yujin x M! Reader, mommy-puppy kinda stuff, edging, POT, hint of voyeurism/exhibitionism
Word Counts: 10.4K
A/N 1: This is the second part of the ongoing series that I have yet to give a name, for part 1, please see the link above :)
A/N 2: I intentionally set the publish time for this chapter to be the same as IVE's Album Release! Please check out their second full album REVIVE+...hehe (not an ad lol) With that said, I didn't have enough time to proofread and make edits so please bear with me ;P
Plot Summary: You agreed Yujin's "offer" (pretend you actually have a say in this) for her to move in to your dorm as her lease expires. Maybe she can use your "help" to pack up her stuff... so you followed her to her place...
“So, now what? Still wanna go back to your dorm? But think about it, if you lend me your helping hand and we can move in quickly….” Yujin winks at you, while you are at the crossroad: turn right? Then it is your dorm building on campus, the place that you desperately begged Yujin to bring you back just a few minutes ago. Turn left? Then it is the bridge that takes you out of the core campus and towards the residential communities nearby where Yujin’s place is located.
“You know, baby boy. I’m always a grateful person, so if we can get it done this afternoon? Then you’ll get your reward at night, and I promise it is going to be a good one.” Yujin smirks, hands pulling your hoodie towards your left. Well, it is just less than a day but you probably already persuaded yourself to accept the fact that this girl in front of you can just get you every time without even trying.
“Fine Yujin, let’s do this quick.” You sigh, looking down at your pants where the tent already put its head down. “Good boy.” She leans in and gives you a kiss on your cheek.
-
Walking in a winter afternoon across your college campus isn’t necessarily a familiar activity for you, at least not like this. Normally your heatmap on campus is a triangle: dorm, dining hall and lecture halls. You never really allowed yourself to stay in the public for too much, especially this area which is designed as a park in the middle of the campus. You know for a fact that this place is for the couples out there to date. Maybe holding hands? Cuddles? Maybe exchange each other’s precious first kiss? Anything, but not your cup of tea.
You recall the first and only time you visited this park was the first week of your college for some God-knows-what Club Drive thing. Math Club? Probably too boring. Anime Club? You prefer real person stuff instead. Well, there is a K-pop dance club (that you now suspect Yujin is in it), but you don’t even dare to imagine what would it be like for your nerdy and skinny body to twirl and sway like the idols. Fine. No Clubs, and no more visit to this park which can bring you nothing but pure PTSDs as each corner there is a couple doing some “fun stuff” that hurts just by witnessing. Another cruel reminder of you being single.
“Which way are we heading towards? I’m kinda lost; this place is not too familiar to me.” You whisper.
“Hey,” Yujin pulls the string of your hoodie, gets you closer to her. “Have you never been to this park? What a waste of those good views!”
“Good view of watching people kiss while I’m on own?” You roll your eyes.
“You want me to kiss you right here then?” Yujin smirks, pretends to cup your face with her hands.
“Not right here, let’s just get your stuff done.” You sigh, holding Yujin’s hand with yours. This action feels natural already although it is just one day. Maybe having sex is really an effective way to bring people to closer, well both physically and mentally of course.
“Fine, our baby boy is still shy, mommy gets it. But tonight, I am not going this easy on you.” Yujin smiles devilishly, breathing into your neck. The hickey she left there is still present, exposed to the winter wind and the people passing by. You are getting use to it though, seeing it as a mark of warmth and belonging.
A breeze makes both of your bodies jolt; you spontaneously cuddle Yujin closer to you and puts her hand into your pocket. Damn, you didn’t know you have this K-Drama type of talent. Yujin gives you a slight hum, leaning in even closer to you. “Good boy.” She murmurs.
-
“You see that parking lot over there? We walk across it and it is my place.” Yujin points at the apartment homes right across the bridge.
“Sure. Yujin, so what is actually going on? I mean your lease thingy.”
“Lease is 11 months for this off-campus apartment. Move in February, kicked out end of the end. One month for them to do the maintenance job and find new victims to fill their greedy ass.”
“Have you found your new place yet?” You ask naturally, just to follow the conversation.
“I don’t know, maybe I’ll like you too much that I just decide to stay in your dorm?” Yujin raises her eyebrow, feeling like she is testing your loyalty to her.
“You… like me?” You feel your heartbeat is getting faster, do YOU like Yujin? You haven’t really thought about this question before. Did you just give in because she is the first girl to offer you something? Were you just too desperate that you caught the one and only chance you had to “un-virgin” yourself? Well, you don’t dare to think about it too much.
“Puppy isn’t staying in his place. Don’t ask questions.” Yujin murmurs, while facing down to search the keys in her purse. An invisible flush of pink appears on her face, but just for a second.
A crisp sound of the key unlocking the door drags you back from the brain fog. Yujin pushes the door open, gesturing you in. What appears in your eyes must be Yujin’s apartment then. A clean living room with the scent of her perfume still lingering in the air, some random flowers that you don’t know the names of are carefully trimmed and put into a glass vase with water. She kicks her boots off and just let it fall beneath the shoe rack. You do the same, following her to the couch.
“Stay still, I’ll quickly check what I need to pack up today. Won’t be long.” Yujin pulls out her phone and just lies down on the couch. You sit nervously, eyes scanning the surrounding. What makes you feel odd is how neat and tidy everything is to an extent that Yujin almost seems odd to be this room.
You take a seat on the couch, gaze locks in to Yujin who is now on her phone, checking what needs to be packed. The air in the room gets too quiet that you can suddenly hear your hearts hammering your chest again. Certainly, you are here to help Yujin move out, but how can you not just stare at her when there is a perfect body like hers sitting right in front of you?
Yujin just stretches her long legs and lies down sideways on the couch, her chest moves up and down with the rhythm of her pulse, cute little feet wiggles inside the socks. Her tank top is maybe a bit too short that you can almost have a full view of her skin beneath. You take a visible gulp as some untimely and intrusive thoughts reappears in your brain before you can realize.
Yujin notices it, of course. She raises her eyebrow; face just slightly turns towards you. “Already? Our puppy doesn’t seem to be very patient today.” She bites her bottom lip with a devilish smirk while “adjusting” her clothes, but the outcome is of course less fabric covering her upper body.
“Sorry Yujin, I’ll try.” You wipe off the cold sweat on your face with the back of your hand, “But you know I cannot hold too long if you just… expose yourself too much in front of me.”
“Hmm? What do you mean? It is not like you’ve never seen it before.” Her smirk widens, “You know, if you ask nicely, I can probably do something to get you more…. Focused and productive for the task.” Yujin giggles.
“Right here?” You can feel the heat on your face and your pulse accelerating.
“If you don’t mind getting caught?”
“I…. I don’t see anyone here? Do you mean the neighbors? I promise I’ll keep it low…” You suddenly feel an urge to get things done and your sweatpants gets tighter for reasons only the primal side of yourself knows.
“How do you know I don’t have a roommate?” Yujin asks.
“Do you?” You get the gut to stand up and take a step closer, now you’re right in front of Yujin and she can easily reach your body, if she decides to.
“Do I?” She smirks. “It seems like our puppy is so eager to have an audience, hmm?” Yujin then holds your hand, hovering right above her chest.
“Your STEM brain seems to be un-developing itself since you met me. Didn’t you see the extra pairs of shoes by the door? And obviously there are two bedrooms here.” Yujin points her finger right behind you. Yes, there’re indeed two-bedroom doors with one being wide open and the other one slightly ajar.
You immediately pull your hands back which almost started to rub Yujin’s juicy tits. “What the fuck? Then we…. We can’t do it here.” You murmur, taking a step back from Yujin in case you get caught standing there like a nerd with your hands squeezing her breasts back and forth like a dough.
“Uh oh… baby boy… you let me down.” Yujin plays a sad face, sitting up on the couch. “But it is your lucky day, Rei-Chan is not coming back until…. Until after dinner! You know, she is almost like you. Library, studying, club meetings… all the stuff.”
“Why? Isn’t she in her room? I swear I saw there was someone behind that bedroom door?” You whisper, while tilting your head towards Rei’s bedroom.
“Nope, you were just too nervous. I was messing with you; you have me and me alone until she comes back.” Yujin then pads the couch, which you immediately receive this signal and kneels right before her.
“Then please… Yujin.” The confirmation of Rei’s absence is the final hammer that breaks down your defense. Now you don’t need to worry about the risk of having an “audience”, so you don’t need to hide your needy side in front of Yujin anymore. “I promise I will work very hard, just let me get some taste, please? I’ve been itching since the Final…” Your voice is getting weaker as your hands uncontrollably reach out for Yujin.
““Hmm? This hungry already? Then mommy is going to give you some treats~” Yujin says, then she pulls her white tank top up and takes it off in a smooth motion. No bra inside. The perky, pink tits bounce as the fabric brushes through them. You then swiftly bury your face in her chest, hands already roaming on Yujin’s soft skin around her waist.
“Ummm… so tasty, you aren’t even wearing your bra…” Your tongue dancing on her nipple, giving a gentle, long lick.
“It was pretty much just soaked from last night; I just threw it in your laundry basket. You wouldn’t mind, would you?” Her words remind you of the actions that took place last night in your dorm, the faint smell of strawberry Soju, her floral perfume, the scent of the laundry sheets all start to linger in your brain. The urge of savor her perfect body keeps pushing you.
The movement of your mouth starts to get gradually more frantic, your desperate suck her tits like they are your gasoline that fuel up your day. You hate to admit but you got hard during your final exam just by replaying the scenes that took place in your dorm last night. Just pure absurdity, but the type of absurdity you are longing for.
“Mhmm, Yujin, you are fucking delicious. You got such a perfect body…” You mumble, as your mouth is half filled with her juicy tits. Your saliva creates such an obscene string between your mouth and her body, you cannot hold back as you need more than this. Yujin grabs your hair with one hand and pulls you closer on your neck with another, you’re still kneeling in front of her while she now sits up from the couch.
Your teeth slightly bite Yujin’s perky nipple; a few soft moans escape from her throat. “Hmmm... Good.” Unlike the dim dorm room light last night, the warm lamp at the corner of Yujin’s living room really gives you the chance to appreciate her flawless body. Her tits aren’t necessarily the biggest in size, but the shape is pretty like a teardrop. The pink nipple at the tip is like a cherry-on-top, just adds pure charm when it is swollen, your saliva shines under the light.
What you didn’t realize is her devilish smirk towards the bedroom door, where your back is facing.
“Ok, Ok… that is about it.” Yujin murmurs while biting down her lips, you know she is enjoying it too from her pinkish face, but it seems like she isn’t encouraging you for more.
“No…. I need more.” You just cannot stop yourself; hands uncontrollably reach out for Yujin’s belt. You quickly undo her belt and try to pull her jeans down, only for her to gently slap your hands off. Your throbbing length in your sweatpants is painful already.
“Puppy… remember you are here to help mommy pack up. If I let you get your release right now, your skinny body couldn’t even handle one single box, no?” Yujin says, “You have to earn it, baby boy.” She then blows soft air into your ear, making your body react instantly.
“One hour. I am not asking you for more. Pack everything up in those paper boxes—” Yujin nods towards the flat paper boxes that have yet to be folded on the ground, “And mommy is going to give you something… delicious.” She then gives a slow lick around her lips, just drowns you deeper into her charm.
“One hour?” The tight tent from the bottom half of your body protests, hands still try to hover on Yujin’s waist.
“One hour. Be a good boy, ok?” Yujin then points her index finger right at your tent, gives your shaft a slight tickle as you groan with half happiness and half grudge. You sigh, but it cannot escape Yujin’s ears. “Hmm? Are you not happy about it?”
“No… Yujin, I am s…sorry. One hour will do.” You murmur.
“Sorry who?” She teases with the cute pair of dimples.
“Sorry mommy…” You give in, hands picking up those paper boxes and starting to fold them into the right shape.
“Good boy.” Yujin smirks again, side-eyeing that bedroom door with pride.
-
For the first fifteen minutes, you are just assigned to fold and tape those flat paper boxes into shape. A thorough list of items that need to be packed already sent to your phone, which Yujin already “kindly” helped you rename her as “Mommy Yujin” in the contacts.
“Fine…” You mumble, but your throbbing shaft says otherwise. You know the upcoming hour is going to feel long, longer than the time you spent taking that final exam. You take a peek at Yujin, who now sits in the middle of the couch with her long legs stretching out of the armrest. Maybe Yujin is really someone who is so warm-hearted, that she decides you need some view during while working so you don’t feel bored. Maybe that’s the reason why she is still half naked, swollen tits bounces to the rhythm of her legs swing back and forth like a pendulum.
You sigh, trying to persuade yourself that it is no different than being in a boring math lecture. However, it is more about the realization that all those theorems and definitions in your nerdy brain are being gradually replace by Yujin. Her scent, her tone, her body… especially when she is half naked right before you, yet you cannot do anything but to focus on the work because she told you do.
You keep folding those paper boxes into shape, trying to acquire some false sense of control by doing those repetitive tasks and prays the time goes faster. Your fading patience and looming arousal are still battling through each other. But you are aware that there are just a handful of boxes in total, now that those simple, “dead” tasks are done and you are going to start interacting with Yujin and her stuff – which you are certain – that she won’t give me an easy time.
The first item on the list is Yujin’s laundry that she just finished; so you follow her into her room, where a rather huge laundry bag is placed. By the time you enter her bedroom, you realize something is going south. The scent. The damn scent from her perfume.
Those faint smell of floral hints just lingers everywhere in her bedroom, when Yujin hands you a stack of clothes – whether she purposefully put the lingerie on top – your pants get even tighter and your length hopelessly twitch inside your boxers. Yujin knows, of course she does.
“Mhmm? You just took a big sniff when I handed them over to you like you’ve ran a mile. Poor little thing.” She smirks, “Can you at least finish putting those clothes in the boxes before begging mommy to hump my legs?”
Shit. One more spontaneous twitch down there.
“Please… just let me do the work…” You reply, voice already unsteady. You stare at the stack of clothes, the plain black bra that Yujin was wearing while taking away your virginity last night, now washed clean instead of soaked with Yujin’s essence and your saliva. The scene form last night is still vivid, but you are trying your best to not think about it.
You fold and put the clothes into stacks before putting them into the box. One item is done, just a few more to go, you persuade yourself.
Next up are the kitchen supplies which Yujin stored them in the overhead shelves. “Be carefully puppy, you don’t want to see Rei getting mad because you break her ramen pot.” Yujin reminds you. You are curious what is this Rei person really like before quickly telling yourself to get back to work. “Which ones are yours, Yujin?” You turn towards her to confirm, only resulting in pink flushing your cheek as Yujin still hasn’t put her top on.
“Hmm… hold on, let me check?” Yujin walks towards you, arms stretch out to the upper part of the shelf, her butt brushes against your pants deliberately. You jolt.
You hate how easy you are for Yujin. You hate how much you just allow her to keep doing this to you, or rather, you hate how you WANT her to tease you like this and make you earn your release.
“You see there? Everything on the left of that pan is mine and the rest belongs to Rei-chan.” Yujin turns back, finger knocks your harden shaft just for once, before heading back to the couch. “I bet you are already hard as fuck right now, aren’t you?”
“Yes…?” You mumble.
“Good. If you get caught touching yourself, no coming for a week. Hehe…. You’d better behave.” A grin appears on Yujin’s face as she enjoys your slightly trembling fingers and pinkish face.
Now you are on your own in the kitchen. You don’t know if Yujin is monitoring you from the living room. Honestly? You think to yourself that you are just a willing prey that felt into Yujin’s little trap for her to play. On the other hand, she probably also finds you suitable to do some hard labor to make her easier…. So? She has no reason to take it THAT serious, right? No touching otherwise no release for one entire week? Ridiculous, no? You palm reaches dangerously close to the tent down there.
“I am watching~” Yujin’s voice reaches your ears from behind, totally extinguishes your urge to just put your hands on your shaft to “adjust the position”. Fine… Just 45 more minutes to go, shorter than a boring lecture anyway. You soon realize this isn’t an easy and repetitive task just listening to professor yapping, the itching shaft makes it hard for you to reach the shelf top – each time you reach out your item to get a pot, your throbbing length would just protest by trying to pierce through the half-wet boxer.
After trying your best to not drop a stack of porcelain plates, your breath starts to get heavier and you can feel sweat on your back despite it being a winter afternoon. Yujin makes sure she is doing the inspection appropriately so she now stands up from the couch and starts to roam around you.
“You’d better keep your pace, baby boy.” Yujin giggles behind you, “good puppy gets his treats, and? Bad puppy gets his punishment. Hehe. Here you are.” She then hands you a bottle of water, how kind of her! But yeah, Yujin’s finger lingers on your wrist for a bit too long before she pushes you away back to the kitchen, leaving you itching even more.
“What if I just hump this box corner for a second? Damn… I am so fucking needy already…” You think to yourself, already replaying the scenes from last night in your brain, the last pot thuds into its box. Sweat soaks your shirt, the wet spot on your sweats impossible to ignore now. It is the time to clear the wardrobe. Yujin’s perfume trails ahead as she walks to the bedroom without looking back. “Time’s ticking, baby boy. Twenty-five minutes left. Open the lingerie drawer first—slow. Mommy wants to see how red your face gets.”
“M…more?” You swallow. You know that the laundry bag you just took care of was already bad enough, but the wardrobe? A drawer full of her lingerie? Damn. As Yujin slide open the wardrobe, you see her clothes just rest on those hangers. Crop tank tops, leather jackets, ripped jeans and a few prom dresses – which you can never imagine a girl like her would wear. And yes, a drawer full of her lingerie, laces, panties, you name it.
You drop to your knees, knees hitting carpet, face level with the drawer. You yank it open fast—too fast—hoping to just dump the contents into a bag and move on. Anything to avoid looking too long, to avoid remembering. A jumbled stack of underwear spills into view: lace panties, bras, all mixed together. You scoop the whole pile in both hands, ready to shove it straight into the waiting bag.
“Nope.” Yujin’s voice cuts through like a whip. She steps closer, one socked foot nudging your thigh so you freeze. “You don’t just dump mommy’s things like trash, baby boy. Fold them. Nicely. One by one.” She reaches down, plucks a single black lace pantie from the pile in your hands, holds it between two fingers. “Start with this one.” She flicks her wrist. The pantie arcs through the air and lands square on your face—soft lace draping over your nose and mouth. The faint floral scent hits you like a slap. Your cheeks burn instantly. Your bulge throbs so hard it almost hurts, straining against the wet spot already darkening your sweats.
You freeze, breath hitching behind the fabric. Yujin laughs—low, delighted. “Aw, look at that. Puppy’s already leaking just from a little lace on his face.” She leans down, close enough that her hair brushes your cheek. One hand reaches out, slow, and plucks the pantie off your face—but not before dragging it deliberately across your lips. “Too distracted to catch it?” she murmurs, voice dripping mock sympathy. “Or were you too busy fantasizing about me wearing it while I ride you again?” Her free hand trails down your chest, nails grazing lightly over your shirt, stopping just above your waistband. “Fold it. Slowly. Or I’ll make you hold every piece against your face until you’re begging for mercy.”
She drops the pantie into your lap, the lace brushing your tent on the way down. Your hips twitch involuntarily—once, tiny, desperate. She notices, of course. “Uh-uh.” Her palm presses flat against your bulge through the sweats—just one firm, slow circle. Then she pulls away, leaving you throbbing in empty air. “Fold. Twenty-three minutes left. Don’t make mommy add time because her puppy can’t keep his mind out of the gutter.” She perches back on the bed edge, legs crossed, foot dangling close enough to tap your knee if she wants.
You oblige, trying to empty out the filthy images of Yujin riding you in those panties. Your fingers trembles helplessly while you carefully sort and fold the lingerie before finally putting them into the bag. “Dresses and jackets next, puppy.” Yujin orders, you then take a step forward to reach the hangers up top. Yujin stands behind you, helping you by passing a new hanger to you after you’ve taken the clothes off the previous one. Her dangling tits brush your forearm for too long each time – of course intentionally.
You basically shut down your brain before any more of intrusive thoughts emerges. Kneeling immediately in front of Yujin to beg for your release? Maybe she’ll despite you and kick your ass. Pinning her to the wall and suck on her nipple immediately? You thought about it, but if you two really were to fight, you are unsure if you can win – and it will be horrendous if you cannot.
It is kind of hard to figure out why exactly you are so obedient to Yujin, to this girl who makes you call her “mommy” and makes your life joyful and miserable at the same time. Maybe you feel safe getting owned by her so you can forget about the rejections, maybe you intentionally try to please her so that she can reward you and fulfill your little nerdy yet filthy desires.
With those brain-fogs in mind, you kill another twenty minutes by clearing out her wardrobe. Jackets nicely folded, dresses stay in the hangers and covered with another layer of plastic bag, other stuff sorted and packed.
“Zaaaaaa-----p”, the loud duct tape sound sealing another box announces three fourth of an hour had passed. You scan around her bedroom, basically there aren’t much more stuff to pack up besides some miscellaneous decorations and a few small furniture. Then here comes the good and bad news.
The good news is, you can see that the end of this tormenting one-hour timer is going towards the end and all you gotta do is push through this final fifteen minutes. Then you get to fuck Yujin, or maybe she fucks you, either way you’re good.
The bad news is, your legs attached to your skinny body are already starting to shake violently as you kneeled and squatted on her bedroom floor in the past half an hour, taking care of her wardrobe. The clear damp mark on your sweatpants and the itch inside are begging you to give up.
Yujin also sees it, of course. “Come here baby boy.” She taps the space next to her on her bed, “I see my good boy is working hard, and you followed my order nicely – no touching your dick until I say so.”
“So…. I am considering some half time treat for you. Do you want it?” She smirks with mischief, biting her lips lightly.
“Shit! Please!!! I’ve been waiting for this moment too long…” You murmur, hands reaching your waistband.
Yujin quickly grabs your wrist and pins it on your back. “No touching still, close your eyes puppy.”
You obey, chest moving up and down unevenly, anticipating for contact. But obviously Yujin knows better, and it is never disappointing when it comes to the matter of disappointing you.
Yujin first grabs your balls through the fabric firmly, before gently grabbing and massaging them. You let out a few loud moans, only for Yujin to cover your mouth with her free hand.
“Shhhh….. time is not up yet.” She blows air directly into your ear, making your body jolt. Yujin then releases your already full balls and your mouth. Then she slides both of her hands inside your pants, scratching your inner thigh through your boxer in an agonizing motion. “Tell you what you’re think right now, baby boy. I bet you’re leaking like a faucet already, hmm?”
“Oh fuck… I want to come so bad… I need it right now Yujin, pleaseeeeee…” You beg, hips involuntarily thrust into the air. Yujin reaches the base of your shaft, and slides her finger all the way to the tip, you feel like more pre-cum had leaked into the boxer. But Yujin’s movement stops right there.
“Hehehe, I told you it is a half time treat, so wait until you finish your work.” Yujin whispers while abruptly slaps your balls before turning around and heading towards the living room, leaving you sobbing and leaking in your boxers.
“F…fuck! Fuck me….”You sigh.
“Exactly! Fuck you! But that happens 15 minutes later. Oopsie!” Yujin smiles.
“Be patient, baby boy. If you have the endurance, it is going to be the best climax of your life.” Yujin’s voice goes through the thin wall between her room and the living room, “I heard people say edging would make the release feels way stronger than it normally would. Trust mommy, it is all worth it.” The sentence is shut with Yujin’s evil giggles.
-
“Just fifteen minutes left, you can do it.” Yujin reappears in the bedroom, now pants are off as well. A slightly damped white pantie is the only piece of clothes on her body right now; she dances and swirls right in front of you like she is demonstrating her perfect body. Bouncy butt, juicy thighs and that damn full pair of lips with dangerous cherry-red lipsticks.
You swallow hard, trying to look away and start to put the small furniture in the final paper box one by one. By the time you unplug the lamp on her bedroom table and put it in the box with a pair of shaky hand, Yujin already drained the glass vase in the living room. She signals you to take it and wrap it with old newspaper so it doesn’t break while carrying it.
You grab the vase from the table, hands already shaking to the point that you almost drop it.
“Be careful baby boy, you don’t want mommy to be ma at you for breaking my vase. That means you don’t touch me for weeks.” Yujin smirks, as she now sits back down on the armrest of the couch, legs dangling in the air.
As you walk past her, she swiftly brushes across your shaft with her wiggling bare foot, just makes sure you are miserable enough. “Look at that cute little thing down there, already twitching like it is coming.” She giggles.
“Mommy…. Please…. I need it so bad. What time is it?” You are already a mess, but still don’t dare to disobey her. At this moment, the final piece of your rational mind realizes, Yujin wants more than you submitting your right to orgasm for her. She wants the entirety of you, your dick, your mind, yourself.
“7 more minutes, puppy. Come on, you can do it!” Yujin takes a look at her phone, before quickly winks at the ajar bedroom door with another evil grin on her face. You breathe heavily, the sweat from your palms leaves visible marks on the newspaper. You carefully wrap the glass vase with 2 layers of protection before finally putting it into the paper box. You peek at your pants, already damped like you just came out of a spa.
“3 more minutes to go, put that weight scale under the couch in there and you are done!” Yujin does a cheerleader pose with non-existent pompoms, only to let her swollen tits to bounce up and down. More seduction? Never enough seduction.
You lower yourself to the floor before reaching under the couch for the scale. “Ouch!” The friction between your already over-stimulated tip and the boxer makes you gasp for air out loud.
“Oohhhh…. Look at you. Mommy is not really into sadism stuff, but do you know how cute you are when you’re suffering? Hehe… I’m already so wet just watching my baby boy moaning.” Yujin giggles.
Not into sadism my ass! You protest in silence. You wouldn’t really have fantasies like this when you’re on your own during those lonely dorm room night before. The most you did was to imagine what is it like to have a girl that is as pretty as an idol, willing to hold your hand… kiss your lips… letting you inside her. Basic stuff like those.
But this? A bit beyond your wildest imagination. Maybe it is not too late to realize you weren’t just a gamer nerd. It was more than that. Maybe the nerdy part is just a mask you put on to disguise your filthy little heart beneath. Letting people see you try so hard for a girlfriend but fails?? That’s too lame. Become a nerd who doesn’t talk to any girls? Then they have no excuse to blame your skills. Brilliant.
Then you won a lottery and Yujin takes you. Now you have a girl…..
Wait a damn second.
You thought to yourself, “Who exactly is Yujin?” Definitely not your mommy, you just call her that because it turns both of you on. Girlfriend? What kind of girlfriend would edge their boyfriend for an hour while forcing them to do hard labor? Mistress and her pet slave? Maybe Yujin shows too much love and care for a slave…
Damn. Your brain is already a mess after this long edge; you can’t process logic properly anymore to figure out. Well but it doesn’t quite matter anyway. You know you want to be with her, you know your body enjoy having sex with her, you know your mind feels safe and trust when you submit yourself to her. The title is just a title.
With that final bit of rational thoughts squeezed out of your brain, you duct tape the final box before immediately trying to undo your pants. “Hmmm… our puppy is so inpatient. Mommy needs to make sure you are properly punished. Come here.” Yujin approaches you, grabbing the string of your hoodie in a blink of an eye, pulling you towards her. You collapse.
-
Her lips crashes onto yours, as inpatient as you are. Yujin grabs your neck firmly, while giving gentle strokes on your hair. She makes the kiss wet and loud, letting out soft moans every time her tongue meets yours. Her hand on your neck starts to roam freely along your spine, leaving shivers as she trails down.
You have your eyes completely shut; hands uncontrollably grab Yujin’s bouncy ass and rubs them nicely. You spread her cheeks under her wet panties and touch her butt with desires. Your tongue fights back against hers, desperately chasing the taste of her.
Her saliva mixes with yours, dripping down both of your chins in a thin string. Yujin caresses the fresh hickey in your neck like she is claiming her authority over you again, you lean in to her, cupping her face and brushing her hair in return.
The hunger that you tried to suppress over the last hour starts to backfire, your lips start to roam freely in Yujin’s upper body. You first depart her lips and kiss her neck, then her collarbone, then her shoulder.
Yujin lets out soft moans every time your lips touch her, like an appreciation of your effort in trying to make her feel good. And she does. Her hands reach her pantie; two fingers start to rub on her clit as you keep kissing her.
You lower your head and position yourself parallel to Yujin’s chest, and you start working on her beautiful pair of tits. You take in her nipple gently and worship each one of them nicely, leaving a long, slick kiss before moving on.
“Mmph… puppy, mommy can feel it.”
“B….bedroom? You squeeze out one single broken word.
“No. Right fucking here, give it to mommy.” Yujin gasps, before yanking both of your pants and your boxers in one go.
Your throbbing length, veins visible, finally gets release from the boxer. It almost kept erected for an entire hour, the tip is already full of slick precum, ready for the incoming battle. Yujin gives it a slower stroke and that’s all the foreplay. You both have had enough waiting.
“Fuck… look at you puppy, already leaking and so ready for mommy.” Yujin then gently presses you down onto the couch, you are now flat on your back.
“Look at how wet you made mommy by doing nothing…. Mmph.” Her fingers go beneath her pantie, when she pulls them out, the delicate fingers of hers are already coated with her juice. Yujin puts the fingers into her mouth, lips half parted and eyes half closed. She savors her own essence in such an obscene fashion, makes your lust grow even higher.
“Yujin… please let me in already, fuck…” Yujin then straddles your leg and positions herself on your desperate and needy length. She quickly takes off her panties and shoves it in your mouth like how she did it last night.
You take a big sniff, it is her familiar, long-waiting scent. Alluring. Deadly.
“Shhh… be quiet puppy. I’ll let you scream later, and I know you will. But keep it quiet for now for mommy, I need to feel you first.” Yujin smirks, while sinking herself down onto you in one go.
“Mmph….!” The impact is immediate. You want to moan out loud but mited by Yujin’s pantie. Only a few mumbled syllables pass through the gag. Your itching length meets Yujin’s warm, wet, clenching walls. At the moment you enter her, you know for a fact that you won’t last long. And obviously Yujin doesn’t care.
She starts to pick up her pace, hands pressing your chest firmly while occasionally pinch your nipples. Yujin then starts to ride you. “Shit… puppy is so hard for mommy… Mmph.” The wet, slick sound turns you on even more, you grab Yujin’s juicy butt from behind and just rub them into different shapes, leaving light red marks here and there.
“Mommy is proud of you; puppy did so well not touching himself for an hour. So let it all out now… give me that cum you’ve been begging me to release…” Yujin squeeze you tighter, her warm pussy is forcing you to surrender, especially after getting edged for an hour.
You feel a bit lightheaded, thigh shaking hard and brain is nothing but the urge to release inside her, to mark her with your essence, to fill her to the rim. You’re just waiting for a signal. Yujin’s signal.
“I bet you want to come already, give it to me then… give mommy that first load,” Yujin whispers, “Then I’ll make sure I ruin that little thing later… hehehe.” The flood had destroyed the final bit of resistance. You feel the heat rushing down your spine, the muscles around your pelvis start to clench uncontrollably. You are there.
“Ugh…” You let out a muted growl through Yujin’s pantie in your mouth before bursting inside her. Your dick twitches violently, hitting her soft walls back and forth, each time with a spurt of thick, hot juice of yours shooting out of your urethra, coating Yujin’s pussy white.
Meanwhile, your legs shake violently, breath hitches, ears ringing like someone just threw a flash bang right into your head. The release lasted so long that you don’t even realize it had come to an end.
“Maybe Yujin is right… this feels fucking different.” You think to yourself. “But wait a minute, why is she not stopping. Hello?” Yujin keeps riding your orgasm out, the mix of her juice and your cum starts to drop out of her cunt slowly, lubricates the point of contact even more. The post sex clarity hits you, you pull Yujin’s pantie out of your mouth, caching your breath.
But she is still riding you in an agonizingly slow motion, like she forgot you just busted into her. “Hmm, looks like my puppy has something to say, tell mommy what do you want?” Yujin smiles devilishly, fingers interlocking yours while still being on top you.
“P…. please… it feels so sensitive right now.” You mumble.
“Please what? Ah… you want me to ride faster, no problem puppy…. Hehe.” Her smirk widens, while keeps tormenting your overstimulated and hypersensitive length.
“You were so impatient, almost tried to touch yourself when mommy told you not to…… I gotta properly remind you… Mmph…” Yujin keeps her movement slow and steady, never accelerates. She makes sure her wet and well lubricated walls trap your half soft shaft. Yujin hip swirls left and right, not letting you into the deepest of her, also not allowing you to escape from her warm cage.
“S…shit… please… I’m gonna lose it…” you cry, almost scream out loud.
“Yes… puppy, scream if you need to. Show Rei-chan how needy and obedient of a puppy you are.” Yujin’s grin widens, with a hint of triumph like a huntress looking at an unfortunately prey that fell into her little trap.
“W..what the fuck do you mean Rei-chan? D…didn’t you say she isn’t back until after dinner?” You panic, heat rushes through your spine, all the way to your face.
“Ooh… did I say that?” Yujin smiles at you amusingly, “If you want to, you can knock on her bedroom door and see if she’s there…”
“Fuck, d… don’t mess with me… you said she wasn’t here! And please stop grinding… oh fuck.” You gasp, the overstimulated tip sends waves and waves of electric signals to the end of your spine, begging for the teasing to stop. A weird yet filthy urge to pee makes you half-crying and half-enjoying, tears start to capture your eyes.
Yujin of course, wouldn’t let you go just this easily. “Beg louder puppy, you look so adorable when you cry for mommy….” She giggles while keeping her grinding in slow motion, making sure all 360 degrees of your sensitive tip and slit gets contact with her warm walls coated by both of her juice and your cum. “Mmph… if you need, let it all out…. Mommy likes it when you give me all.” Yujin starts to rub her clit with her fingers, her other hand caressing your neck right on the hickey she left earlier before the final exam.
You become a moaning and begging mess; Yujin finally lifts herself up to give you a moment to catch up your breath. Your half-soft shaft twitches helplessly in the air, still covered by the mixture of your own desire and Yujin’s essence. “Aww… poor thing, still half hard for mommy. You see the mess you just made in me? It kinda makes me want more, hmm.” She then sits back down, the re-entry to her warm pussy makes your body jolt violently, every cell starts to beg for mercy.
Yujin keeps her non-stop yet very slow grinding, hands now pressing on your throat – enough to reassure you who is in charge. “Shit… I feel like I’m gonna pee if you keep…. Keep doing this to me.” You cannot even try to hide your painful groan anymore.
“Good… why not give it all to mommy then? Hmm?” Yujin smile at you amusedly, hands pressing a bit harder, making you gasp for air. “Or… if you cannot hold it, you can also beg me nicely for me to stop…hehe.”
Meanwhile, Yujin presses her cute little foot at the base of your balls, right at the perineum. She presses your ball lightly with her toes, while clenching her wall around your tip, The double stimulation forces waves and waves of spasm of your half soft shaft – not strong enough for you to come again right after the first wave, but enough for you to stay hard.
“P…please stop! I... I am begging you.”
“Hmm? Weren’t you the one who begged me so hard just a few minutes ago? Make up your mind, my cute little puppy.” Yujin taps your face very softly, while wiping a drop or two of your tears on your chin.
“Stop for now Yujin mommy…. It feels so strange, I can’t…. gonna pee… fuck!”
“Aw… look at you… already a sobbing mess for mommy.” She finally stills her hips, lifting off slowly—your half-soft shaft slips free with a wet pop, cum and her juice stringing between you, dripping onto your stomach and the couch.”
Pure agony.
“It is ok puppy, mommy got you. Just a small reminder for my cute little puppy to not be horny for me all the time~” Yujin’s voice softens, she leans in and gives you a kiss on your cheek. “You know…. You look cuter when you give me everything, especially when you scream out loud. Rei-chan must be really impressed how obedient and needy when you took everything for mommy if she hears it.” Yujin smirks triumphally, like she just won the world.
“Oh… shit, I forgot about her already, is… is she actually here? If she is, why is she not coming out?” You swallow nervously, teeth clenching as you think about the possibility of another girl witnessing your horny, needy self gets completely wrecked by Yujin. “P…perhaps she is taking a nap, or maybe you’re just joking… right?”
“Maybe. You can always just knock if you dare, but I guess you don’t. Anyways. Don’t get distracted by Rei.” Yujin giggles deliberately again, you already guessed the next step. “Hmm… You got your release; you got to enjoy mommy’s tight little pussy. But mommy has yet to have fun, and don’t you think I should come as well? I think my little puppy doesn’t mind me to play with him a bit longer, do you?”
You take a look around, probably not really an ideal environment for having proper sex, paper boxes are still stacking here and there, several drops of your cum and Yujin’s juice landing on the couch cover (that’s the washing machine’s job to take care of). You don’t really mind a round 2 as Yujin is kind right. She deserves to have little fun as well, and you are always very happy to please her.
So you stand up and turn towards her bedroom. “Hey! Where are you going?” Yujin speaks. “Huh? I am just heading to your room, don’t you think it is a bit messy here?”
“Nope. It.. it is perfectly fine here, come back, we’re doing this my way.” Yujin climbs back onto your lap as you sit back down, she pins your wrists above your head, nails dig into your wrist just enough for you to feel the sweet pain. Then she crashes her lips to yours—claiming, hungry, like she’s starving for her turn.
Her tongue invades through your lips aggressively, like she was the one that was edged for an hour. She kisses you frantically, claiming every bit of your mouth. Yujin releases your wrist, hands now cupping your face. You have yet to recover from the first release, that your movement is not as swift and hungry compared to round 1. Yujin senses it when your kiss becomes a bit hesitated.
“Ah… my puppy is still in that post-sex clarity and pretending he doesn’t need more.” Yujin coos, “But I know your body will be honest.” She signals you to sit up on the couch, back resting on the armrest. Then Yujin drops to all fours between your legs, smiling at you with her “innocent” big eyes and that damn evil pair of dimples.
“What…. What are you doing, Yujin? W…why are you looking at me like that?” There had been a handful of times when Yujin gave you this obviously faked innocent look, and you knew the outcome each time was your poor little dick gets milked dry by her. By her position, you probably guess what trick she is going to play on you this time.
“I just realized that…. Hmmm…my nerdy puppy hasn’t had a chance to feel mommy’s mouth yet. I bet it will be as nice as my little pussy; do you want to try it out? Hehe.” Her grin grows wider, eyes now blinking, anticipating on how you are going to respond.
“Shit… it is not like I have the call anyway.” You murmur.
“Exactly!” She giggles, “I wasn’t asking for your permission anyways, oops!” Yujin gives a slow lick on the base of your shaft, then drags her soft tongue all the way to the top in a painfully slow motion. It is like she just casted a spell on you and your soften length reacts to it, gradually standing up again.
“Good…” Yujin hums like an approval, before slowly takes the tip of your dick into her mouth. “Mmph…” You immediately feel the impact of her warmth and moisture, letting out an involuntary moan while hips bucks once helplessly. She draws little circles on your slit with your tongue, making your body jolt as the wetness meets your sensitive tip.
Yujin really takes her time savoring you. No rush, like how she completely owns you. For a whole minute or two, she just focuses on the very tip of your shaft, not taking more of you in. She licks your frenulum, while constantly applying her saliva onto your swollen tip as her tongue keeps the assault on your manhood.
After dozens of slow cycles being applied to your tip, you can physically feel the urge to release again. Of course, that’s what Yujin wants to see as well – hard and leaking, just for her. Yujin releases your tip with a wet, obscene pop. A thin string of transparent mix of her saliva and you precum stays at the corner of her mouth as she departs. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, before diving back in to you.
“Mmph… I can feel it; you are hard again… hehe.” Yujin giggles, the vibration sends shivers all way the way up through your spine. This time she starts to slowly take you in for more, inch by inch, Yujin takes it all.
“Fuck… it is longer than I expected,” Yujin coughs as she surprisingly wasn’t able to take the full length in the first go.
“Oh shit… you don’t have to take it all in if it’s uncomfortable” You sense the cracking voice of Yujin, eyes glancing on her face, slightly concerned. “Aw… my puppy cares about mommy, how cute! But you know this cock belongs to me and me alone, so I am taking it all.” Yujin goes deeper this time after a brief break, forcing herself to take the entirety of your shaft.
You can feel your tip hitting the back of her throat, Yujin chokes, but hands clinging on your thigh for support. “Mmph…. Ugh…. Shit, it feels so fucking good.” Yujin’s wet, warm mouth traps your length like an alluring vacuum, attempting to suck out all the remaining essence of yours.
She hums quietly, while keeps working on your dick. Unlike it is your first time experiencing pleasure, Yujin clearly knows what she’s doing. She leaves wet slurping sounds every time she lets you off before sucking you back in, gradually destroying your resistance.
“Fuck… Yujin, if you keep sucking like this, I’m gonna come again. Mmph.” You try to slow her down with your cracked voice.
“That’s what I need, baby boy.” Yujin smiles, yet her movement doesn’t slow down. She trails between your frenulum and your slit, tongue brushing your sensitive length. Her head bobbing back and forth, faster and faster, only releases you from her warm mouth when she catches her breath. “Tell me how it feels, puppy.”
“Shit… It feels amazing.” You confess, the urge to plant your seeds into Yujin’s little mouth starts to stuck in your head.
“Good, that’s what I thought too. Which one feels better, my mouth or my pussy?” She releases your now harden shaft with a wet pop while staring right into your dilated pupil.
“I..I like both, honestly.” Your face immediately adds shades of pink, but your twitching dick that is still dangling in the air losing its patience. Yujin pulls you towards her, so you now lie flat on the couch, can’t see her anymore. You wait for Yujin to claim you back in, hips can’t help themselves but trying to thrust into her mouth.
“Aw…you are so impatient, but I guess it is understandable for a little nerd whose virginity just got taken yesterday. No worries though, I am far from done playing with you.” Yujin smirks, her hands grab the base of your length while her elegant finger spreads your precum around your slit. “Mmph….” That sensitive, itchy feeling makes your pelvis jolt. A few weak groans leave your throat as the pleasure starts to build from below.
“Look at how wet you just made me, fuck…” Yujin climbs onto your chest, while spreading her wet, pink pussy open with two of her fingers. They look so tasty, that you instantly grab her waist and pulls her closer to your face. “Fuck, Yujin… let me taste it then.” You mumble.
Yujin automatically starts riding your face as you requested, her left hand yanks your head to adjust the position while the right hand keeps its job of stroking your dick slowly. You grab her juice ass, mouth already watering just as she rubs her pussy on your face.
You stick your tongue out into her folds, tasting the lingering scent of her perfume, of her arousal and the faint taste of your own essence from earlier. It is nowhere near being unpleasant, instead the smell of hormone turns you on even more, your hands start to roam freely on her ass.
Yujin’s thighs clamp you a bit tighter as she starts to speed up her movement, you start to get smothered both physically and mentally. The juicy thighs force your gaze to stay on her shaved, pink pussy and her scent pushes you deeper into this abyss. Your worship of her ass gets more rapid and frantic; you rub Yujin’s bouncy butt and leave light slaps every now and then. The crisp sound of spanking and the mumbled groans from both of you create the most obscene symphony in the room.
“How dare you slap my ass, my puppy is really getting out of his place… mmph, but it feels so good.” Yujin releases your hair, instead rubs her clit in fast circles – she is reaching her climax as well. Her breath visibly hitches; walls clench and getting wetter and wetter.
“Fuck… I need it right fucking now, I need you inside me.” She gets off your chest in a smooth motion, pulling you up. “Now I give you the chance, fuck me properly, make mommy come.” Yujin captures your place, lying flat on the couch with her long legs spread wide open in an “M” shape.
“I know this, it is called the missionary position.” You mumble, while stumbling your way onto her.
“Shut the fuck up and put your stupid nerdy cock in it already!” Yujin slaps your balls while you try to kneel between her legs, you gasp out loud.
“Ouch! Chill Yujin, it is not like I don’t want to fuck you…” You mumble, only for her to pinch your nipples hard. “I told you already, it is you getting fuck by me instead, puppy…”
“I… I am sorry mommy; I just got too excited…” The pain from your chest reminds you to stay in place, so you start to thrust into Yujin’s wet, well lubricated pussy. You grab her tits with both of your hands while you keep your movement below, you draw little circles on Yujin’s swollen nipples and she moans each time you flick your fingers on her sensitive tip.
“Mmph… you had big improvements from last night already, mommy is impressed.” Yujin half-closes her eyes, seemingly enjoying your service. Her praise fuels you up by a notch, you try to speed up your inexperienced thrusts. Yujin locks around your waist, heels digging right into your ass like she’s guiding you through your shaky movements.
You pick up you pace as you are more used to this position, every thrust now gets deeper into Yujin’s fluttering walls. She is tight, wet and needy, her moans getting louder each time you hit that sweet spot of hers.
“Fuck—puppy, right there—” Her voice cracks on a gasp as you hit deeper. “Harder—give it to mommy like you mean it. Show me how much you needed this after waiting so long.”
You’re still oversensitive from the first release, every thrust sending sharp jolts up your spine that blur the line between pleasure and too-much. Tears prick your eyes again; you blink them back, but she notices. Of course, Yujin always does.
“Aw… crying already?” Yujin coos, one hand sliding up to cup your cheek, thumb brushing a tear away. “That’s my good boy. You waited so patiently for mommy, didn’t you? Edged yourself stupid for an hour just because I asked. And now look at you—fucking me like you were born for it.”
She rolls her hips up to meet you, matching your rhythm, making sure every push bottoms out. Her free hand slips between your bodies; fingers find her clit and rub fast, tight circles. The added friction makes her clench around you—hard—and you groan, hips stuttering.
“Don’t slow down,” she warns, voice breathy but commanding. “Mommy’s close—keep going. Let me feel how desperate you want me even after coming once.”
You oblige, accelerating your pace but each thrust now gets shallower because of the overwhelming amount of stimulation. You feel your balls gets tighten again, impossibly soon, the pressure is building.
“Mmph, just like that, deeper…. Fuck.” Yujin’s fingers are already trembling, rubbing her own clit like a maniac. You can feel like her walls are literally twitching right now as she gets closer to her own climax. So, you thrust deeper following her instructions, “Yes…Yujin mommy, I am gonna come as well!” The building sensation makes you a bit light-headed and ready to release.
“Shit…I’m gonna come! Fuck! Puppy is fucking me so well… Mmph” Yujin is almost screaming now, contrasting with her possessing and dominant edge when she teased the fuck out of you just an hour ago.
Her walls flutter wildly around you, squeezing in rhythmic pulses that make your vision blur. Every thrust drags against her swollen spot; she arches off the couch, tits bouncing with the force of your hips, nails digging crescents into your shoulders. “Mommy’s close—right there—right fucking there—” Her moans turn sharp, desperate, hips bucking up to meet you harder.
As you make another deep thrust, all the way to the furthest you can go, Yujin snaps. Her legs lock your hips so your full length is stuck in her pussy. “Yes yes yes! I am coming… fuck!” A choked cry rips from her throat as her whole body seizes—walls clamping down like a vice, pulsing hot and wet around your cock. Her back bows off the cushions, thighs trembling violently against your sides, clit throbbing under her fingers as she rides the wave through every shuddering contraction. Her pussy flutters, squirting waves of her sweet nectar onto your dick.
The sight, the sound, the sudden tight grip of her orgasm drags you under. Your rhythm stutters; oversensitive nerves scream as her pulsing walls milk you relentlessly. “Yujin…shit! I am gonna”
“Mmph… yes! Give it all to me… you are mine…” Yujin bites her juicy lips while pointing at her swollen tits. You get the instruction, pulling out just in time before bursting right onto her chest. Strands and strands of hot, slick cum shoots out from your slit, splashing onto Yujin’s pretty boobs and a few drops land on her face.
“Good boy… look at all the mess you just made.” Yujin pulls your head close immediately and kisses you, you let her take the lead, still catching your breath after another violent release. You slowly savor her lips and the sweet taste of her saliva mixed with the slightly salty faint smell of your own nectar.
“Fuck… I love it so much, Yujin… You are so fucking perfect.” You humble while burying your face into her neck. She gives you gentle strokes on your hair, fingers caressing the hickey on your neck like an artist inspecting their work. “I know, it is not the first time you saying this. I bet you’ll repeat it 100 times, if I fuck you 100 times.” The triumph smirk is back on her face, tone becomes the familiar possessive one.
“You came all over my tits…” She whispers.
“I did… they are even more gorgeous right now.” You sigh.
“Fuck you. I meant for you to clean it up….”
“Shit…Yes mommy.”
You start your work immediately, now dive in to Yujin’s chest and starts to clean her up. You leave small kisses here and there, worshiping her perfect body while cleaning the evidence of the mess you left on her. You bury your face deeper, inhaling her—sweat, perfume, sex, you. A shaky breath escapes, half sob, half relief.
“You know… you are always mine… and I am so proud of my puppy, took it all for mommy.” Yujin hums happily, as you go on full submission, body wrapped by hers. You keep worshiping her tits, and give a final lick to swipe that last visible drop of your own cum on her nipple.
“Ay-ay-ay… how I wish my sweetheart Rei-chan could see how obedient my little puppy is right now!” Yujin laughs devilishly as she pads your back with pride, like she is ready to show-off her precious treasure.
Maybe you are too focused on Yujin’s flawless body and her praise, that you didn’t hear the door squeaks.
-
A flushed, cute face peeks through the crack, eyes wide and sparkling with innocent mischief.
request from tumblr message by @dreamcatchers-husband. hope that you like it.
15K Words Counted
—
He stood in the wings, in-ear hanging off one ear, mic still cold in his hand. Stage crew moved around him. Tape on the floor. Rolling flight cases. Someone yelled about timing near the monitor wall. The main stage washed in white light as the MC wrapped the intro.
“Y/n-ssi, standby,” a coordi said, passing behind him with a lint roller and a bag of pins.
He nodded without looking. His eyes stayed on Liz. She was a few meters away with her staff, checking her in-ear with a tech. Hair pulled back, simple stage fit for the collab. No glitter. No big styling. Just a blouse, dark skirt, boots. Clean lines. Efficient. Her shoulders rolled once as she tested the mic.
“Check, check. One, two,” she said, voice low through the floor monitor.
The tech adjusted a dial on the pack at her waist. She tilted her head, listened, gave him a short nod. No smile. Focused. Y/n swallowed. His tongue felt dry. He rolled his mic in his hand, thumb tracing over the logo. The stage manager’s headset crackled loud.
“Collab unit ready?”
“Yeah, we’re ready,” someone answered.
Liz looked over then, scanning, found him. She walked up with steady steps, mic down at her side, cable slack.
“You got your in-ear?” she asked.
He blinked once, then snapped the dangling earpiece back in. “Yeah. Just… waiting for cue.”
She gave a small nod. Up close, he could see faint marks from the mic tape under her jaw. No foundation cake. Just skin.
“You warmed up?” he asked.
“Yeah. You?” she said.
He lifted his shoulders. “Kind of. Did a few scales in the van. Manager complained.”
Her mouth twitched. Not a full smile, more like one corner pulling up for half a second. “He never complains when you start shouting ad-libs on stage, though.”
“That’s money,” he said. “Car warm-ups are free, so he complains.”
She snorted once. Quick. Then the MC’s voice hit the cue.
“Next, a special collaboration stage—”
The crowd on the other side of the curtain roared. Light bled through the back of the LED wall. Bass rolled through the floor. The stage manager raised a hand. “Positions!”
Liz stepped past him onto her mark. He followed, soles sticking a little on the tape lines. The curtain gap widened and they moved into the blaze of white.
Heat from the stage lights hit his face. The crowd blurred into a low wall of phones and lightsticks. The intro track started, soft piano through the in-ears. He took his mic stand at stage right. Liz stood at stage left. When the camera-red light on the crane swung toward them, they both looked up.
His cue line came first. He breathed in through his nose, diaphragm tight, then let the first note out. Voice slid into the pocket. He stared forward, not at the crowd, not at the steadicam straight on him. He focused on the sound in his ear.
On the second line, Liz came in. Her voice cut clean through the track. Not showy. Firm. Steady. She didn’t reach for tricks. She hit center on every note, tone sitting right against his. In the ear-mix, the engineer had them slightly separated left-right, but they still locked.
On the pre-chorus, they took steps toward center. They met at one mic stand, close enough that their shoulders almost brushed. The camera floated in front. He turned his face a little toward her. She kept her eyes down at first, focused on the mic. Then, on her next line, she looked up at him.
Just a plain look. No wink. Nothing staged. Eye contact, straight, steady. For half a beat, his lungs forgot their rhythm.In his ear, the metronome tick ran under the track. He clung to it.
Hook hit. Harmonies split. He took the thirds while she held the main. Their voices meshed. The crowd noise rose. He caught the wave of lightsticks hoisting up out of the corner of his eye.On the bridge, the arrangement dropped to piano and strings. They moved closer. The script had them face each other. Almost duet style. That fake-couple tension the producers liked.
Her breath hit his wrist once when she came in early on a syllable and pulled it back on the next. His fingers tightened on the mic.She didn’t break eye contact this time. Professional. On cue. He knew that. He kept his own gaze locked in, but a part of his brain drifted.
She really stands steady. No shake. His throat tried to close at the thought. He shoved it down and pushed the high note. Last chorus. They turned back out to the crowd, shoulders parallel, bodies half-angled in. Camera swung around them in a wide circle shot. He leaned into the timing, matched his mouth shape to the track overlay that would go live broadcast.
They hit the final note, held it, then cut off together. He dropped his arm with the mic as the track faded and the crowd burst up. They bowed side by side. He bent at the waist, eyes on the stage floor, catching the marks at their toes. Liz’s hair fell forward next to him. He smelled hair spray and a faint hint of sweat.
They straightened. The MC’s voice came back in. “Give it up for—!”
They smiled at the crowd, waved. The LED behind them flashed replay clips already.The stage manager waved them off.They walked back into the dark of backstage, light dropping fast as they cleared the rig. His eyes adjusted. The hum of generators and rigs replaced the crowd. Staff passed by with clipboards, headsets, stacks of towels.
A coordi clapped a towel into his chest. “Good job. Wipe your neck. You’re drenched.”
He rubbed his jaw and neck. The cotton came away damp. His pulse still pounded in his neck, but his face stayed even.Liz stood a few steps away, mic handed off already. A staff member checked her pack. She pulled one in-ear out and let it dangle.
“You okay?” he asked, stepping closer.
She looked up at him and nodded once, breath still a little fast. “Yeah. You were stable. Didn’t crack once.”
“Scared to crack in front of you,” he said.
She huffed, short. “Please. You crack, fans call it ‘emotion.’ I crack, they call it ‘lack of practice.’”
He released a small breath through his nose. “Then I’ll just keep it clean. Not gonna give them ammo.”
She stretched her neck side to side, then rolled her shoulders. Sweat stuck a strand of hair near her ear. She pulled it back with blunt fingers.
“You heard the crowd?” she said. “They started screaming on the bridge.”
“That camera circle shot,” he said. “They love that.”
“Producer’s idea,” she said. “I thought it’d be awkward, but it felt… okay.”
He watched her face as she talked, the way her eyes shifted when she searched for a word and then locked back in. No blank idol smile. Just focus.
“Felt good,” he said. “Our tones match. That helped.”
She nodded. “Your support on the chorus made it easier. Didn’t feel like I had to push.”
A producer waved them over for a quick post-stage interview at the side camera corner. The little collapsible backdrop with the award show logo stood there. A VJ held a handheld mic.
“Y/n-ssi, Liz-ssi, if you can stand on the tape here,” the VJ said.
They stepped onto the small Xs on the ground, shoulders almost touching now in the narrow corner. A cameraman adjusted his lens.
“Okay, rolling in three, two—”
The VJ switched to broadcast tone. “We just watched an amazing collab stage from Y/n-ssi and Liz-ssi. How do you feel right now?”
Y/n looked at the lens, then glanced at Liz before answering. “I feel… relaxed now,” he said. “Before we went up, I was tense. But Jiwon-ssi’s voice is solid, so once we started, I just trusted her and followed.”
Liz’s eyes flicked over at him when he used her real name. Brief. Then back to the camera.The VJ turned to her. “Liz-ssi, how was it working with Y/n-ssi?”
“He works fast,” she said. “We didn’t have many rehearsals, but he came in with everything marked. We just did small adjustments. He respects the song. That helped.”
“You praise each other a lot,” the VJ said. “Did you feel the chemistry on stage? Fans were already posting about it online.” Liz gave a small shrug. “The arrangement pushes that anyway. But he watches his partner on stage. That makes it easier to match the feeling.”
He swallowed once. The word “partner” landed heavier in his ears than it should.He forced his focus back. “She takes care of details. Breath positions, consonants. Stuff that makes or breaks a live stage. You can lean on that.”The VJ laughed. “It sounds like a mutual admiration society here.”
“Work is easier like that,” Liz said. The VJ wrapped up the segment. “Please say a word to the viewers.” They did the usual lines. “Thank you for watching, please keep supporting,” the safe phrases they used at every station. Camera cut. The VJ bowed slightly, back to her regular tone. “Thank you, that was perfect.”
They stepped away. Staff moved in to swap in the next group. Liz reached for a bottle of water from a crate near the wall. She twisted the cap off and drank with short pulls. A drop trailed from her lower lip down to her chin. She wiped it with the back of her hand.
He picked up a bottle too, but only held it. His throat felt tight. He turned the bottle cap instead, twisting it halfway, then back again. Her manager stepped in for a second. “Good stage. You have to head to the photo wall in ten.”
She nodded without argument. The manager looked at Y/n. “You too. They want collab shots.”
“Got it,” he said. The manager left.
For a few seconds, the background noise dropped a bit as a stage door shut. They stood by the wall with the crate between them, the hum of air units filling the gap. “You killed that high note,” she said, still looking ahead at nothing, eyes unfocused. “The long one before the last hook.”
“I thought I’d crack,” he said. “My throat went weird when we were looking at each other.”She glanced over. “Stage nerves?”He let a small grin tug at his mouth. “Something like that.”She snorted once. “You’ve done worse. That survival show finale, remember?”
“That was trauma,” he said. “This is… different.”
“Different how?” she asked, straight. He opened the bottle and drank to buy time. Water hit his tongue, but his brain floated. He had known her for three weeks. Two full rehearsals, three quick runs, some vocal guide recording time, a few random hallway chats. Not long. Enough.
He let his eyes rest on the crown of her head for a second. The soft flyaways that didn’t fully stay in place even with spray. The small mark near her right temple from some old pimple or bump.“Guess I wanted to impress you,” he said. She blinked once, slow. “Me?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
He shrugged and twisted the bottle again, thumb pressing into the plastic. “You’re hard to impress.” She frowned a little at that. Not annoyed. Just curious. “How do you know that?”
“I watched,” he said. “First practice, you didn’t react when I sang the ad-lib. Staff said it was good, but you didn’t say anything. Second practice, you only said ‘okay’ when I fixed the timing. Third time, you said ‘nice’ once. So, yeah. Hard to impress.” Her lips pressed together, then parted. “You remembered that?”
“Yeah,” he said. Noise rose again as another group walked past, laughing, sneakers scuffing against the floor. A coordi shouted about missing earrings. Liz capped her bottle, tapped it twice with her fingernail. “I just don’t react much,” she said. “I’m not trying to be tough.”
“I know,” he said. “That’s why it means more when you do say something.” Her gaze settled on his face for a second longer. Her eyes tracked the line of his jaw, then his mouth, then back to his eyes. Calm. No blush. No fluster. Just analysis.“You overthink,” she said.“Probably,” he answered. Her phone buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out, glanced at the screen. “We have to move. Photo wall next.”
“Yeah,” he said. “Let’s go.” They walked side by side down the narrow backstage hall. Posters from past shows lined the walls, corners peeling. The floor smelled like dust, hairspray, and a faint stink from damp cables.His shoulder brushed her sleeve once. Not enough to count as a touch. Just cloth against cloth. His brain drifted again. He pictured her sitting in a smaller practice room, hoodie up, hair tied back, face bare of stage paint. Humming through a scale, serious, focused. The image hit with more weight than any stage shot he’d seen. He ran numbers in his head without meaning to.
Three weeks. Ten or so real conversations. Maybe an hour of one-on-one total if he lined it all up. It sat in his chest like more. He scratched his thumb along the seam of his mic pack. He kept his breathing even; he’d learned that on his first year in the industry. Cameras caught everything. You couldn’t look wide-eyed around anyone. Calm meant safe.
They rounded a corner. The main photo wall came into view, lights set up on stands, photographers lined along a taped line. Other idols posed on the mark, lightsticks from the crowd area flashing through the glass from a distance. A staff member waved them over. “Collab pair, after this group!”
They stopped just off to the side. Close enough to feel the heat from the key lights.She checked her hair in a small mirror from her pocket. Tight, small motions. No posing. She pushed one strand behind her ear, then clicked the mirror shut.“You did good,” he said, eyes on the floor, voice low enough that staff wouldn’t catch it.
“You already said that,” she replied. “I’ll say it a few more times,” he said. “You carried that second verse.” She let out air, almost like a laugh but flatter. “I messed up one consonant.”
“No one heard,” he said. “I heard,” she said.He watched the set of her jaw as she said it. No self-pity. Just simple fact. He liked that more than he should have.Photographers shouted the current group’s name in chorus. “One, two, three! Pose!” The group on the wall did their hearts, Vs, peace signs. The flashguns popped in rhythm. He leaned back against the wall for a second. The plaster felt cold between his shoulder blades. He tilted his head until it thumped the wall lightly. His thoughts slid. No music in his ears now. No metronome. Just her voice echoing from earlier, both in the in-ear memory and right now in plain speech.
When she had looked up at him on the bridge, there’d been nothing fake in her face. No planned coy look. Straight attention. That look still sat sharp in his mind, too sharp. He stared at the floor and let his eyes blur a little. The noise around him faded in and out like someone playing with the volume slider. He caught the faint scrape of her boot toe against the ground as she rocked her weight back and forth. No fidget, just small shift.
“Hey,” she said. He turned his head toward her.
“You’re spacing out,” she said. “Am I?” he asked.
“Yeah,” she said. “I called you twice.” He hadn’t heard that at all. His stomach tightened as he realized it.
“Sorry,” he said. “Just tired.”
“Don’t knock out before the encore stage,” she said. “We still have to sit in the crowd and clap for a few hours.”
“Factory shift,” he said. “We clocked in.” She smirked once, short. “Yeah. Assembly line.” A staffer waved hard at them. “Collab unit, ready!” Liz straightened. Her back came off the wall. She faced the photo zone.
“Let’s go,” she said.
He pushed off the wall too, legs moving on habit, brain still a half-step behind. The bright light from the photo set hit his eyes again as they approached the tape mark. Photographers raised their cameras and yelled their names. Her sleeve brushed his wrist as they stepped into position, and he realized he still hadn’t really answered her about why he wanted to impress her. He placed his foot on the tape X, lifted his chin toward the lenses, and felt the quiet thrum under his skin as she shifted fractionally closer at his side.
—
Flash popped in bursts, white spots bursting in his eyes.
“Y/n-ssi, Liz-ssi, center please!”
They stood on the taped line. Logo wall behind them, stark and repetitive. Light stands flanking both sides. The floor under their shoes looked clean from a distance but up close had marks from dragged stands and gaffer tape residue.
He lifted his mic a little out of habit, then remembered they didn’t need it here. He forced his hand back down, fingers brushing his pant seam.
Liz set her weight evenly on both feet. Shoulders square, chin level. She looked straight at the cameras, eyes focused, mouth flat, then curled into a small, practiced smile.
“Cute pose!” one photographer yelled.
“Heart please!”
She didn’t react to the shouting. She glanced sideways once, quick, checking his position. He caught her look and raised one hand for a basic finger heart. Nothing special. Just enough to get the shot.
She mirrored it, their hands forming two separate hearts instead of one shared one. The photographers still shouted like they’d done something wild.
“Okay, next concept, closer please!”
A staffer gestured with both hands. Move in.
He stepped half a step toward her. She didn’t move back. Their sleeves brushed. The side of her upper arm pressed very lightly against his.
“Shoulders together, maybe?” a photographer called out.
Liz shifted a little closer on her own. Their shoulders almost bumped. He kept his posture loose, let the contact sit there. Her body heat soaked through the fabric of his jacket arm.
“Three, two, one— perfect!”
Shutters clacked. They held the pose through the count, then relaxed when the staffer gave the cut sign.
“Can we get one more? Y/n looking at Liz, Liz facing camera?” another photographer shouted.
Liz’s eyes flicked to him. Question, not command.
He heard his own voice come out before he thought it through. “Okay.”
She turned to the camera, expression composed. He turned his head toward her like they asked. The light from the softbox carved a clean line on her cheek. No smile, just a neutral mouth and steady gaze at the lenses.
Someone laughed. “Wow, the chemistry!”
He kept his face blank. Neutral. Let his eyes rest on the side of her face a second longer than necessary. It wasn’t acting. He just didn’t clear the look in time.
The staffer stepped in. “Okay, that’s enough for now. Thank you.”
They stepped off the mark together. Another set of idols moved in right away.
He rolled his shoulders once to release tension. His neck ached a little from the angle. Liz shifted her mic pack around to the back of her waist again, hiding it under her blouse.
“You did all right,” she said, matter-of-fact, walking toward the exit from the photo zone.
“Camera loves you,” he said.
She snorted, but didn’t answer.
They cleared the bright area and stepped back into dimmer backstage light. Noise shifted from the sharp direction of the photo zone to the muddier echo of the side hallway. Someone wheeled a clothing rack down the hall, hangers clacking.
Her manager appeared again, phone in hand. “Okay, group room,” she said to Liz. “They want to shoot some reaction cams during the daesang announcements. Y/n-ssi, your manager is looking for you near the green room.”
He checked his watch without meaning to. He didn’t care about the time, just needed something to look at. One of his stylists waved from down the hall. “Hyung! Come here, we need to fix your collar before you go sit in the crowd.”
“I’ll come later,” he called back.
“We don’t have later,” the stylist said, still waving.
Liz’s manager looked between them. “You can talk after. It’s a long show,” she said, not unfriendly, just efficient.
Liz gave Y/n a nod. “Good work.”
“You too,” he said.
She turned with her manager and walked down toward IVE’s waiting room. Her boots hit the floor in steady, unhurried steps. No sway, no bounce. Just forward.
He watched her back for two seconds longer, then forced himself to pivot toward his own team.
His manager clapped a hand on his shoulder when he reached them. “You looked clean,” he said. “Net already clipping that bridge shot.”
“Yeah?” Y/n said.
“Of course,” the stylist said, adjusting his collar. “The ship stans are gonna go crazy. We should push that. Good for your solo buzz.”
He kept his eyes on the mirror they were using. His reflection stared back with an even face, hair still in place, skin catching a bit of leftover powder. Liz flashed in his head, the way she’d looked at the camera, not at him, when he stared.
“Let’s not force it,” he said.
The stylist snorted. “We’re not forcing anything. They posted it already. We just ride the wave.”
His manager tapped his phone, scrolling. “Title already trending. ‘Y/n-Liz bridge eye contact.’ They’re fast.”
He swallowed once. “Send me the clip later.”
“You can see it after the show,” the manager said. “Right now we need you in the audience. You’re row three.”
They walked him through the maze of hallways toward the main hall entrance. Staff with flashlights directed idols to their seats, whispering names and pointing at printed charts taped to clipboards.
He found his seat among a cluster of other male idols. They exchanged nods, some quiet comments about stages, outfits, the usual. He sat, clapped when the camera did audience pans, smiled when the MC cracked some script joke.
On the big screen, they replayed snippets of the collab. His own face filled the screen once, then cut to Liz on the high note. The crowd sounded loud even through the hall’s reverb.
He clapped again on cue. His hands moved. His eyes stayed locked on the screen until it switched.
After the third award, IVE took their row. He spotted them moving down the aisle with a floor manager guiding them. Wonyoung in front, then Yujin, then Rei, Gaeul, Leeseo, and Liz near the back.
They took their seats a few rows away, not far, diagonal from him. From his angle, he saw the side of Liz’s face. She leaned forward to say something to Rei. Rei laughed, hand over her mouth.
The camera swept their row for a reaction shot. They all did the idol laugh, clap, open mouths. Liz’s smile here was bigger than backstage, but he could see a slight tightness at the corners of her eyes.
His attention drifted. The show moved on. Performances rolled. He cheered. He mouthed along to hooks he’d heard a thousand times.
His manager texted him a link. He opened it low on his lap, screen dimmed. The clip showed the exact bridge shot, 15 seconds. The circle camera moved around them, their faces close, eyes locked. Netizens had added captions and heart emojis. Comments flooded under. Some screamed about chemistry. Some compared him to other collab partners. Some tagged Wonyoung anyway.
He scrolled through a few, then stopped. His thumb hovered over the scroll bar. He clicked the screen off and shoved the phone back into his pocket.
The MC announced a break for commercials. Lights dimmed a bit. Staff walked through the aisles with water bottles for idols. Someone passed him one. He took it, then waved the staffer toward IVE’s row too.
He watched Liz from the corner of his eye. She took a bottle, nodded once in thanks, then sat back.
Without the cameras rolling, her back slouched a little. Not much. Just enough to ease her spine. She rubbed her thumb under her mic tape spot on her jaw, probably where it started to itch.
His body moved before his brain decided. He unbuckled his lap belt the hall staff had insisted on and stood.
His manager leaned in. “Where are you going?”
“Bathroom,” he lied.
His manager frowned. “Don’t take too long. Cameras pan any time.”
“I’ll be quick,” he said.
He slid past the knees in his row, muttering sorrys, then headed up the aisle. At the mid-lane, he cut across toward the exit by IVE’s row. He slowed down as he approached their section.
Yujin spotted him first, gave a small wave with her fingers. “Y/n-ssi.”
He nodded. “Hey.”
Rei looked up from her phone. “Good stage earlier,” she said.
“Thanks. You guys too,” he answered.
Liz turned her head when she heard his voice. Their eyes met. No surprise there, just a straightforward look.
“You’re supposed to sit,” she said. “They’ll yell at you.”
“I told them bathroom,” he said.
“You’re standing here,” Rei pointed out.
“On my way,” he said. “Just wanted to say something.”
Yujin looked between him and Liz, some faint curiosity there, but she didn’t say anything.
He focused on Liz. “You eating after this?” he asked.
She raised one eyebrow. “We have schedule after. Why?”
“Bring something light then,” he said. “You didn’t finish the sandwich before stage.”
Her eyes narrowed a bit. “You noticed that?”
“You peeled the crust and then didn’t touch the rest,” he said.
Rei snorted. “She hates the bread they use here.”
“It tastes like paper,” Liz said.
“Yeah, but you still need something,” he said. “Don’t just live on coffee.”
Yujin leaned her elbow on her knee, watching him with open interest now. “You monitor her diet now?”
He didn’t look at her. “Just saw her throw it away.”
Liz studied his face for a second. “We’ll get something at the next schedule,” she said.
“You should or you’ll burn out. That bridge takes energy,” he said.
“You survived it,” she said.
“I ate,” he said.
She clicked her tongue once, looked away. “Fine. I’ll tell manager unnie.”
He breathed out, a small bit of tension bleeding off. “Good.”
An assistant producer walked down the aisle with a tablet. “We’re back in thirty, everyone seated please.”
He nodded and dipped his head at them. “I’ll go before they start rolling again.”
“Don’t trip on the way,” Rei said.
He moved off, headed up the steps, then ducked into the side exit. He pushed through the door marked STAFF ONLY into the service hallway.
The noise from the main hall cut in half. The hallway smelled like concrete, old mop water, and a trace of perfume from artists who’d walked this way earlier.
He leaned his back against the wall for a second. His head hit the painted concrete with a soft thump. He stared up at the exposed piping overhead.
His chest felt tight. Not dramatic, no panic. Just a steady, pressing weight. He rolled one shoulder, then the other, to break it up.
He replayed Liz’s face when he mentioned the sandwich. The tiny flicker when she realized he’d watched that small action. Not fear. Not irritation. Just… confusion.
He pushed off the wall and went to the bathroom anyway to keep the lie consistent. Cold water on his hands washed off some of the sweat. He stared at his reflection again under the harsh fluorescent light.
He didn’t see any of what was going on in his head on his face. Years of training had flattened his tell.
He dried his hands, walked back out, slipped into the hall. Show resumed. He slid into his seat as the cameras turned back to the MC.
The rest of the program blurred. He clapped, stood for senior groups, bowed when necessary. When IVE went up for an award, he watched Liz again. She stood behind Wonyoung and Yujin, hands around the trophy once they passed it down the line. She spoke into the mic for one of the middle thank-you slots, voice steady, words clean.
When the show ended and confetti machines went off, the crowd area turned into a cloud of paper and light. Idols waved, cameras did last wide shots.
Backstage after, the hall clogged with people moving in all directions. Stylist carts rattled. Managers shouted. Some idols took quick selfies with each other near the sponsor walls.
His manager tapped his arm. “We have an after-party with the label. But you have about fifteen minutes. Want to change first?”
“Later,” he said. “I need water.”
“There’s some in the room.”
“I’ll grab it from the corridor,” he said.
His manager gave him a look. “Don’t disappear.”
“I won’t,” he said.
He walked down a side hall, eyes scanning without making it obvious. He spotted the familiar hair color and posture near a vending machine.
Liz leaned against the machine’s side, one foot pressed against it, heel on the metal. Rei stood next to her, tapping on her phone. Their manager scrolled through a schedule on her device.
“Five minutes,” the manager said. “Van is at Gate C.”
“Unnie, can I get coffee?” Rei asked.
“No coffee, your hands already shake,” the manager said.
“What about me?” Liz said.
“You shake inside,” the manager said. “You hide it better.”
Liz clicked her tongue.
Y/n walked up, bottle of water from a crate in his hand. “Hey.”
Rei looked up, saw him, and straightened. “Oh. You again.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” he said.
“Depends,” she said.
Liz glanced at him. “Aren’t you supposed to be at your label thing?”
“Soon,” he said. “You heading out?”
“Yeah,” she said. “We have a shoot.”
Rei pocketed her phone. “A late one,” she added. “Fun.”
Liz’s manager checked the time again. “We need to move. Say bye fast.”
Rei stepped away on purpose, giving them a bit of space but not leaving fully. Manager stayed near the vending machine, typing with one thumb.
Y/n shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He didn’t bother easing into it. Time was short.
“You did well today,” he said.
“You really like saying that,” she said.
“Because it’s true,” he said.
She stared at his face, steady. “You know you don’t have to say that to me for the cameras.”
“No cameras here,” he said.
“We’re still idols,” she said. “Nothing is fully off camera.”
He tilted his head in a small nod. “Still saying it.”
She blinked once, then looked past him down the hall. “You were solid too. Fans will replay that stage.”
“I don’t care about replay right now,” he said.
Her eyes came back to his, a fraction sharper. “Then what?”
He swallowed once. His tongue stuck a bit to the roof of his mouth, dry from all the stage talking and yelling.
He decided not to dress it up. No metaphors. No hints.
“I like you,” he said.
No stutter. Just words dropping between them like someone had opened a hand and let something heavy fall.
Rei’s head snapped sideways a bit, eyes widening. The manager glanced up once, eyes flicking over, then back to her screen, mouth tightening.
Liz stood still. Her gaze didn’t waver. She looked right at him, not scanning his face for tells, just watching.
“How?” she asked.
He frowned a little. “What?”
“How do you like me?” she said. “You don’t know me.”
He thought for half a second. “I know enough to know I want to know more.”
“That’s a line,” she said.
“It’s not,” he said. “We worked together. I saw how you handle rehearsal. I saw how you focus. How you don’t fake reactions backstage. How you care about small details. How you listen to the track more than the compliments. I like that.”
“You like my work ethic,” she said.
“I like you,” he repeated. “The way you move around the work. The way you think. The way you talk. The way you ignore hype. All of that is you.”
She shifted her weight, heel dropping from the machine to the floor with a soft thud. Her hands slid into her pockets.
“You’re saying this now?” she said.
“Yeah,” he said. “If I wait, it gets worse. Or fake.”
Rei looked between them, then cleared her throat. “Manager unnie, I’ll go check the van,” she said.
The manager didn’t look up, but gave a small nod. “Don’t go far.”
Rei slipped away down the hall, leaving a bit more open air between them. The manager stayed close enough to intervene, far enough to pretend she wasn’t listening.
Liz kept her eyes on him. “Why tell me?” she said.
“Because I want to go out with you,” he said. “Outside of schedules. Real.”
She stared for three seconds. Four. No reaction shift. No softening. Her jaw clenched once, then loosened.
“No,” she said.
He didn’t flinch, but something in his chest pulled tight, like a muscle cramping. “Because?”
“Because you don’t mean it,” she said, voice flat.
“You just asked me how,” he said. “I told you how.”
“I heard your answer,” she said. “It doesn’t matter.”
“You don’t believe me,” he said.
“No,” she said. “I don’t.”
He licked his lips, trying to wet them. “I’m not using you.”
“That’s what they all say,” she said.
“I’m not ‘they’,” he said.
She shrugged one shoulder, small. “You’re an idol. You’re a guy. Same pattern.”
He opened his mouth, then closed it once, steadying his voice. “Who did what?”
“That’s not your business,” she said.
He let out a slow breath, then nodded. “Okay. You don’t want to say. Fine. But I’m not here to get Wonyoung’s number, if that’s what you think.”
Her eyes sharpened a fraction. Tiny, but clear. “I didn’t say Wonyoung.”
“You didn’t need to,” he said.
Silence sat heavy for a second. The hallway buzzed low with other people far off. Closer, just their breathing and the hum of the vending machine compressor.
“You’ll get bored,” she said. “Or you’ll realize you want someone else. Or this was just for the buzz. I’m not going through that again.”
“It’s not for buzz,” he said.
“You saw the clip on your phone, right?” she said. “You know how this works. Ship, buzz, brand deals, fanfics, then next one.”
“Clip or no clip, I’d say it,” he said.
She shook her head once. “Doesn’t matter. It sounds the same.”
He looked at her, took in the way her mouth pressed thin, the slight tension in her eyes, the way her shoulders held solid even while she said no.
“I’m not gonna push you,” he said. “You said no, I heard it.”
“Good,” she said.
“But I’m not lying,” he added.
“That’s what they all say,” she repeated.
Her manager stepped in, apparently deciding this had gone on long enough. “We need to go,” she said. Voice neutral, but final.
Liz gave him one last look. No hate. No warmth. Just a wall.
“Let’s keep it professional,” she said. “We have to see each other at shows.”
He swallowed. “Yeah. Sure.”
She turned and walked down the hall with her manager. Her back looked the same as always. Straight spine. Steady steps. No slump.
He stood there, bottle still in his hand. The plastic crinkled under his grip. He stared at the side of the vending machine where her boot had pressed. A faint scuff mark sat there, chalky against the metal.
A stagehand pushing an amp on a dolly brushed past his shoulder. “Excuse me, hyung.”
He stepped aside, back hitting the opposite wall. His throat felt raw. Not from rejection. From the long day, the singing, the talking, all piled on.
He lifted the bottle, opened it, and drank. Water slid down his throat, too cold, hitting his empty stomach.
His phone buzzed in his pocket. Manager.
WHERE R U
He typed back: Coming.
A second message popped in before he could put the phone away.
Label CEO wants handshake and photo. Don’t be late.
He shoved the phone away, pushed off the wall, and headed toward his waiting room. His legs moved fine. His breathing stayed even. His face felt blank in that familiar, trained way.
On the far end of the corridor, IVE’s backs turned a corner and disappeared from view. He kept walking in the opposite direction.
—
The label after-party sat in a hotel ballroom with the lights turned down low and the logo slapped on every free surface.
Round tables. White cloths. Bottles lined up on a side bar. Staff moving trays of food around. Music low through rented speakers. Laughter in pockets.
Y/n sat at a table with some labelmates, manager on his right, a junior group on his left. Someone poured him a drink. He kept his hand over the glass.
“I have another schedule tomorrow,” he said.
“That never stopped you before,” one of the rappers joked.
“It does today,” he answered.
The rapper lifted his hands. “Okay, okay. Mr. Responsible.”
Manager laughed along, eyes on his phone. “He sang live today. We keep the throat clear.”
Conversation drifted to chart positions and tour plans. Someone pulled up a meme of a senior tripping during their stage and the whole table watched it a few times.
Y/n looked at the screen and saw none of it. His mind kept replaying one line.
“I don’t believe you.”
He stirred a straw in a half-glass of soda. Ice clinked against glass. His thumb pressed into the condensation ring on the table.
“Y/n.” The label CEO stood near his chair, hand on the backrest, smiling for show. “Stand for a second.”
He stood, bowed. “Thank you for today.”
The CEO clapped his shoulder. “You did well. The collab was a good call. Numbers are up already. Keep that chemistry with her. Fans love it.”
Y/n held his expression even. “We’ll see if we get another chance.”
“We’ll make chances,” the CEO said. “That’s the job. Anyway, sit, eat, mingle. Don’t leave too fast.”
“Yes,” he said.
The CEO moved on to another table. Manager leaned toward Y/n. “He’s right, you know. That stage gave you a bump. We should be smart about it.”
“You mean post something?” Y/n asked.
“Behind cuts, a joint live if the company lines up schedules, maybe a dance challenge,” the manager said. “This is what we do.”
He looked at the manager. “And if she hates that?”
Manager paused. “Who, Liz? Why would she hate it? It’s work. She’s a pro.”
“She said no,” Y/n said.
Manager’s jaw tightened a fraction. “You confessed?”
He didn’t answer. The look on his face probably did.
“On a work day?” the manager asked, keeping his voice low. “At the venue?”
“She was there,” Y/n said.
“That’s not the point,” the manager muttered. “You know her company. They’ll burn us if they smell scandal.”
“She already burned it,” Y/n said, eyes on the table.
“Hyung, listen,” the manager said. “You can’t. You know that. Dating is one thing, confessing like some trainee is another. If this hits Dispatch, we’re dead. You and me both.”
“It won’t,” Y/n said.
“Because she said no,” the manager said.
He didn’t respond.
The manager let out a breath, rubbed his forehead. “Look. Whatever you feel, park it. We ride the collab wave, we don’t feed the rumors. Be smart. Don’t DM her, don’t linger around her stages, don’t do any dramatic shit.”
Y/n’s lips twitched. “You think I’m going to stand in the rain under her dorm window or something?”
“I think you’re tired and not thinking straight,” the manager shot back. “You confessed already. That’s enough damage. Don’t dig deeper.”
Y/n stared at the half-melted ice in his glass. “I’m not trying to damage anything.”
“Then treat it as done,” manager said. “She said no. End of story.”
He nodded once. “Yeah.”
He stayed another hour. Laughed when he needed to. Took photos when asked. Smiled in group shots. Ate two bites of something off a shared platter. Then he slipped out as soon as the manager was busy talking to another senior.
The hotel lobby felt empty compared to the ballroom. Soft piano looped over speakers. Guests in suits checked in at the desk. Staff pulled suitcases.
He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked to the side exit. The night outside hit with cold air and the smell of car exhaust.
The van waited at the curb. The driver nodded. “Back to the dorm?”
“Yeah,” Y/n said.
The ride took twenty minutes. City lights slid past the tinted windows. Neon. Crossing signals. Groups of people outside convenience stores, smoking, laughing.
His phone buzzed a few times. Group chat jokes. A meme. A link to a fancam of the collab.
He didn’t open any of it.
At the dorm, the hallway smelled like instant noodles and detergent. One of his groupmates sprawled on the couch in the living room, face lit by his phone.
“You’re back,” the guy said. “You drink?”
“No,” Y/n said.
“Good. Manager will love that,” his friend said. “Stage was sick, by the way. That girl can sing.”
“Yeah,” Y/n said.
“You guys looked like drama leads on that bridge,” the friend said, smirking. “Was that on purpose?”
“Ask the PD,” Y/n said.
The friend laughed and rolled back to his screen. “Whatever, man. Go sleep. You look dead.”
He went to his room, closed the door, and dropped onto the bed without stripping off his stage clothes. The room hummed with the low buzz from the mini-fridge. Streetlight bled in through the curtain edge.
His throat felt raw. He swallowed against it. His mind still ran.
You don’t mean it.
He replayed his own words in the hall. I like you. He tried them now in the dark, mouth shaping them silently, like a test.
They didn’t change.
His alarm pulled him up four hours later. Morning schedule. Radio.
He showered, dragged comb and product through his hair, changed into the outfit laid out by coordi last night. Ate three bites of toast and a banana at the kitchen counter while another member scrolled through comments aloud.
“‘Y/n and Liz saved this award show,’” the member read. “Okay, king.”
“Stop reading,” Y/n said.
“Why? You’re winning,” the member laughed.
“Just stop,” Y/n repeated.
The member shrugged and tossed the phone on the couch. “You’re touchy this morning.”
The day rolled. Van. Radio station. Bright DJ voice. Questions about the collab. He kept his answers clean, flat.
“How was it working with Liz-ssi?”
“She’s focused,” he said. “Makes it easy.”
“Did you feel the chemistry the fans saw?”
“We both did our jobs,” he said.
The DJ laughed. “Very safe answer.”
“It’s the truth,” he said.
After radio, a magazine photo shoot. The staff asked him to recreate the bridge eye-contact shot with a stand-in for concept. He did it. Body on autopilot. Eyes on the mark. No heat behind any of it.
Work stacked. He moved through it. It was easier than sitting still.
In between, in some waiting room with bad air conditioning and a buzzing light panel overhead, he opened a browser and searched her name. Not the group. Just her.
Articles from last year popped up. Interviews. One show segment with her and another male idol laughing on a couch. He clicked it.
The clip showed her smiling more than she’d done with him backstage. The male idol next to her leaned in, joked, looked at her with that same fake-sincere expression a lot of guys used on variety. The comments below had shipped them hard for a month, he remembered that wave.
He went down the timeline. That guy had a rumored link to Wonyoung a few months later. Dispatch had vague photos. Nothing too clear. Netizen detectives still decided it was her. The thread was messy. Fans denied. Haters mocked. Her name sat in the middle of that like collateral damage.
He closed the browser.
During lunch break, his manager sat across from him at a tiny table near the studio, takeout containers open between them.
“We got a call,” the manager said through a mouthful of rice. “IVE’s company wants to do a special clip. Behind story of the collab. Sit-down talk, maybe some commentary over your rehearsal footage.”
Y/n’s chopsticks paused mid-air. “When?”
“They said next week,” the manager said. “They’ll book a joint studio. You two talk about how you prepared, joke around, that kind of content. Good for engagement.”
He chewed slowly, jaw working. “She agreed?”
“They suggested it,” the manager said. “Of course she agreed.”
He swallowed, the food feeling like dry paste sliding down. “Okay.”
“Can you handle that?” the manager asked, eyes on him. “Or is it going to be awkward?”
“I’m fine,” Y/n said.
“You sure?” Manager’s tone stayed neutral, but his eyes weighed him. “Because if you go weird on camera, it’ll blow back on us. Fans will know something’s off.”
When he closed his eyes, he saw the vending machine hallway again. The way she’d said no without a pause. The way her shoulders hadn’t dropped even once. He kept rewinding, trying to see if there had been any crack, any hint he’d missed.
Morning came anyway. The studio building for the shoot sat in a quiet side street. Plain front. Unmarked door. Staff checked them in and led him to a makeup chair.
The mirror showed his face again, a little more drawn than last week. Dark circles flattened by concealer. Hair styled clean.
“You ready?” the makeup artist asked.
“Always,” he said.
They led him into a small shoot room. Black backdrop. Two chairs side by side. A small table in between with bottled water and cue cards. Two cameras on tripods. One behind-the-scenes cam handheld off to the side.
She sat in the left chair already, makeup done, hair simple, outfit casual but clean. Hoodie and jeans, no stage polish. Her hands rested on her knees.
Her gaze flicked up when he walked in, then back down. No greeting.
The PD clapped his hands once. “Okay, we’ll keep this light. Just talk about your first impressions, practice episodes, funny behind stories. If you don’t have funny, we’ll still make it interesting. Just don’t give one-word answers, please.”
He nodded. She gave a small nod too.
They mic’d him up. The thin wire ran under his collar. The sound engineer clipped the pack to his waistband.
He sat down in the right chair, leaving the expected space between them. Not too far, not too close. Her perfume reached him faint, covered by powder and room dust.
The PD counted down. “Three, two—”
The red tally light turned on.
“Hello, we are here with the special collab unit,” the PD’s off-cam voice said.
They introduced themselves on cue. Names. Groups. Formal tone.
“First question,” the PD said. “What was your first impression of each other?”
He looked at her. His brain ran through possible answers. Pretty. Talented. Serious. None of those worked. All of them sounded like safe idol talk.
He settled on the most factual one. “She was quiet,” he said. “Didn’t talk much during the first rehearsal. Just watched and listened.”
The PD hummed. “Quiet in a good way, or awkward way?”
“Good way,” he said. “I talk enough. It’s fine.”
A soft chuckle passed through the staff. Liz’s lip twitch gave the faintest hint of a reaction.
“Liz-ssi,” the PD said. “Your first impression of Y/n-ssi?”
She folded her hands once, tightening her fingers before relaxing them. “He was… prepared,” she said. “Knew his parts already. Didn’t waste time. That was good.”
“Only ‘good’?” the PD prodded.
“We were there to work,” she said. “He worked.”
He kept his face neutral. The PD moved on.
They asked about harmonies, about who messed up most. PD showed rehearsal clips where he missed a cue once and she laughed at him, where she stumbled over a lyric on the first run.
They had to watch themselves on the monitor and react. It felt like hearing an echo in a tunnel.
“Who took care of the other more?” the PD asked.
“I don’t know,” Y/n said. “We just did our parts.”
“He brought snacks,” Liz said, eyes still on the monitor.
He looked over at her. “You remember that?”
She shrugged. “It’s on the clip.”
The PD rewound. There it was: him handing her a small bag of chips at the first practice. The camera angle had caught it over someone’s shoulder. Her face there had a tiny, real smile.
He hadn’t known they rolled for that.
“Oh, that’s sweet,” someone off-camera said.
“Why did you bring her snacks?” PD pushed.
He stared at the monitor for a second, then back at the PD. “We were working late. She hadn’t eaten.”
“You noticed that?” PD asked.
“She threw her sandwich away,” he said.
Liz shifted slightly in her seat. “You like monitoring other people’s eating habits,” she said, voice even.
“I like when people don’t pass out in front of me,” he said.
Chemistry. He heard the word and thought of the vending machine hallway again. Her face then didn’t look like this. On set now, she wore a soft idol expression. Enough curve to the mouth. Enough tone to the voice. Safe.
He wondered which one was closer to real. Or maybe both were.
They moved into a segment where they had to give each other “compliment cards.” Pre-written prompts on cue cards.
He picked one up. The print read: “What is something you envy about your collab partner?”
He cleared his throat. “Her pitch,” he said. “She doesn’t drift. Even tired.”
She blinked once. “That’s basic,” she said.
“Most people don’t have it,” he answered.
She lifted her own card. “He handles interviews well,” she read. “When I don’t want to talk, he covers.”
The PD clapped. “Look at this mutual support system.”
They finished most of the questions. The PD finally set the cards down and leaned against the equipment case.
“Last thing,” the PD said. “Can you say something to each other? Something you didn’t get to say on stage.”
Silence stretched for a second.
He looked at her. She looked back. The air between them felt thicker.
He went first. “Thanks for working with me,” he said. “You made the stage solid.”
She nodded once. “You too.”
The PD sighed. “That’s it?”
“We said most of it on the other questions,” Y/n said.
“Okay, okay,” the PD relented. “We’ll cut around it.”
They wrapped. Staff unhooked mics, handed them their phones back, thanked them for their time. A coordinator snapped a quick behind-the-scenes photo of them with the PD, everyone doing a simple pose.
As soon as they were released, she headed for the door without looking at him. Manager hovered near the exit, ready to scoop.
He stepped around the staff cluster and caught up to her in the hallway. No cameras here, just a long corridor with scuffed walls and a mounted fire extinguisher.
“Can we talk?” he said.
She stopped. Turned. Manager slowed too, looked between them, then checked the time.
“Two minutes,” the manager said. “Then we go.”
Liz folded her arms across her chest. “What?”
He took a breath. “You didn’t have to act friendly in there.”
She frowned. “It’s content. That’s the job.”
“You told me to keep it professional,” he said. “I did. But I don’t want you to feel like I’m… playing something.”
Her eyes flicked to the floor, then back up. “You confessed, I said no. That’s it. The rest is work. Don’t mix it.”
“I’m not mixing it,” he said. “I just… I don’t know. I see you laughing in that clip with that other guy from last year, and then I see how you look at me, and—”
Her expression shuttered. “You watched that?”
“I looked you up,” he said. “I was trying to understand why you think everyone’s lying.”
Her jaw set. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” he asked.
“Dig around,” she said. “You don’t get to go through my shit because I said no. That doesn’t make you some investigator.”
“I know,” he said. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Then what did you mean?” she snapped.
The sharpness in her tone cut clean, no waver. Manager shifted slightly, ready to step in.
He held up one palm. “I meant I see how people treat you on camera. Like some stepping stone to whoever is behind you. I’m not doing that.”
“You don’t get points for not being trash,” she said.
“I’m not asking for points,” he said.
“Then what are you asking for?” she said. “You said you like me. Okay. I don’t believe you. That should be the end. But you keep coming back. You monitor my food, you stare on stage, you talk about liking how I work. And you think that’s better than the guys who just want my member’s number?”
He forced himself to keep his voice steady. “It is better.”
She laughed once, short and bitter. “Same result. I end up in the middle, and you get to be noble about it.”
“You really think I’m doing this to feel noble?” he asked.
“I think you want to prove something,” she said. “To yourself. To me. I don’t care. I’m tired.”
The hallway hummed with the distant sound of someone dragging a rolling case. Fluorescent lights flickered a little overhead.
He watched her face. Her eyes looked the same as backstage. Clear. Tired at the edges.
“You want me to stop talking to you?” he asked. “Completely.”
She looked like she thought about it for a second. Then she shook her head once. “We work in the same field. That’s not possible.”
“So what then?” he said. “You want polite nods and group bows and that’s all?”
“That would be clean,” she said.
“Clean for you,” he said.
“What, it’s hard for you?” she said.
“Yes,” he said.
She blinked. “That’s your problem.”
“I know,” he said.
They stared at each other. Manager checked the hallway again, then stepped half a step closer.
“Jiwon,” manager said quietly. “We really—”
Liz lifted a hand to stall her. Didn’t look away from Y/n.
“You think I’m unfair,” she said.
He thought about it. “Yeah,” he said. “A little.”
She snorted. “You met me three weeks ago. You don’t know what fair is for me.”
“I know what you’re doing now,” he said. “And it’s not about me. It’s about them.”
“Does it matter?” she said. “The result’s the same. I don’t date you.”
He swallowed. His throat scratched. “I didn’t say I deserve a yes.”
“Good,” she said.
“I said I deserve to not be lumped in with guys who used you to get to your group,” he said. “You can say no for any reason. But don’t say I don’t mean it when you haven’t even let me show you.”
She let out a slow breath through her nose. Her shoulders rose and fell once. “You can’t show me without there being a risk. That’s the problem.”
“Risk of what?” he asked.
“Of me being wrong again,” she said. “Of me believing someone who says all the right things. Of me watching you drift away when someone taller, prettier, more popular walks in. I’ve seen that. I’ve lived it. I’m not doing lesson three with you.”
The blunt list landed one by one. Taller. Prettier. More popular. He heard the shape of Wonyoung and Yujin and every “it girl” behind those words.
He opened his mouth, then shut it. The truth sat ugly on his tongue. He had noticed those things. The way staff gravitated to the front faces. The way brands always asked for certain names first. The way some guys in the industry bragged about whoever they could sit next to.
He wasn’t them, but he lived in the same machine.
“You think I’ll lose interest because of status,” he said.
“Don’t act confused,” she said. “I’ve been the second choice enough times to know what it looks like. You’re nice to me. You praise me. Then later, oh, by the way, can you introduce me to Wonyoung? Or you drift toward whoever the camera loves more.”
“I’m not asking for introductions,” he said.
“Not yet,” she said.
He laughed once, but it came out dry. “You think this is a long con?”
“I think people like the idea of liking me,” she said. “Until it costs them something.”
He stepped back half a step, shoulder hitting the wall behind him. “What would it cost me?”
“Your image,” she said. “Your options. Your clean market. If you stick to the safe script, you can date anyone later and fans will eat it up. If you pick me, you pick the member fans already treated as ‘less’. You won’t do that.”
“You’re not less,” he said.
“In this industry, I’m not the first pick,” she said, voice flat. “And don’t feed me some speech about inner beauty and talent. I know where I stand in my own group. I know how managers talk. I know how brands ask.”
His mouth opened, reflex words ready. They all died fast.
Of course she knew. She heard everything. Every “we want Wonyoung and maybe one more member.” Every “can Yujin MC this and bring someone with her.” Every look.
He’d heard his own group talked about like that too. Visual member first, then the “others.” He’d been in “others” his whole trainee life until the vocals gave him leverage.
“You’re not stupid,” he said quietly.
“No,” she said. “So I protect what I have left.”
“And what’s that?” he asked.
“My peace,” she said. “My work. The small corner of control I get when I say no.”
He rubbed his thumb along the seam of his jeans. “And I’m… what. A threat to that?”
“Yes,” she said.
He let the word sit. It made a warped kind of sense. He wasn’t safe. He was a variable. Variables messed up stable routines.
“So what do you want me to do?” he asked. “Because I can’t switch off how I feel. I can control what I do with it. That’s it.”
“Control it away from me,” she said. “Don’t hover. Don’t show up with food. Don’t look at me like you need something from me. Just be a colleague.”
“I don’t need anything from you,” he said. “I just—”
“You want something from me,” she cut in. “You said it. You want to date. You want access. That’s need enough.”
He shut his mouth.
Manager checked the time again, more urgent. “We’re late.”
Liz finally broke eye contact, looked past him down the hall. Then she looked back and pinned him again.
“You’re not a bad guy,” she said. “You’re just not different enough. Not for me.”
He felt something in his chest twist at that. Not bad. Not different. Just standard issue.
He nodded once. The motion felt jerky.
“Okay,” he said. “I hear you.”
She held his gaze one second more, then turned and walked off with her manager, footsteps steady.
He stayed where he was for a beat. The wall at his back felt cold through his sweatshirt. His hands had curled into fists without him noticing. He forced them to loosen.
He stared at the fire extinguisher box on the wall across from him, focusing on the small printed instructions taped to it. Pull pin. Aim at base of fire. Squeeze handle.
Simple. Direct. Clear steps for putting something out.
His phone buzzed. Group chat again. A link. Someone had already leaked a behind-the-scenes shot from the collab content they’d just filmed. Fans in the comments were screaming about their “natural chemistry.”
He locked the screen without opening it. His thumb hovered for a second, then slid to open the messaging app instead. He scrolled through his contacts until he hit her name.
He stared at it. The last message thread between them held only one line: a polite “thank you for today” from after their first rehearsal. He had answered with a short “you too.” Nothing else.
His manager’s words echoed. Don’t DM her. Don’t do anything stupid.
He put the phone away, unlit, and pushed off the wall. The corridor stretched ahead, bland and empty, leading back to the main lobby.
He walked it slow, hand brushing the concrete as he went, his mind running circles around the same hard fact: she didn’t trust him, and nothing he said had moved that even a millimeter.
—
The rain came in hard on the day it broke.
He stood under the overhang outside the broadcast station, hood up, mask on, watching the street turn into a sheet of wet glass. Vans pulled up, splashing through shallow water. Staff ran with umbrellas, shoes slapping the pavement.
Manager checked his phone beside him. “We’re clear after this prerecord,” he said. “You can go straight home.”
Y/n nodded. “Who’s next on the lineup?”
“IVE, then that new boy group,” manager said. “You want to stay and watch?”
He hesitated. “We cross paths anyway.”
“Stay out of their waiting room,” manager said. “You know why.”
“I’m not an idiot,” Y/n said.
Manager gave him a look, but didn’t answer. A PA waved them in from the door.
Inside, the station smelled like wet fabric, coffee, and stage fog. Narrow halls. Posters on the walls. Staff in black shirts with laminated passes.
They did their prerecord. Clean run. No mistakes. Fans in the small audience section waved banners. He smiled at them, did the hearts they wanted, then filed offstage with his group.
Backstage, chaos moved in controlled streams. Stylists adjusting collars. Managers checking run sheets. Idols slipping in and out of doors.
He saw them from the corner of his eye when they came in.
IVE walked down the hall in stage outfits. Wonyoung at point, then Yujin, then the rest. Liz near the back, hair tied, dark outfit, mic pack already clipped. Eyes forward.
He kept his feet on his path. She passed within three steps of him. Their gazes caught for less than a second. Small nod. No more.
They disappeared into their waiting room. He went into his.
The walls here were bare except for one clock and a standard “No Food On Couch” sign. Monitor in the corner played the live feed muted. Folding chairs. Table with snacks he didn’t touch.
His members scrolled phones, posted selfies, read comments. He sat in the chair nearest the door, eyes on the silent monitor.
Their stage came up next. The VCR intro rolled, then they walked out on stage. The fan chants on the muted monitor looked like vibrations.
He watched her. Her steps. The way she planted for each move. Her mouth moved through the lyrics, breath controlled. No stumble. No drift.
At the last chorus, heavy downbeat hit—then something went off.
One of the overhead rigs flickered. A small section of the lighting bar jolted. He saw a thin cable snap at one end on the monitor. The bar tilted, hung for a second, then dropped at an angle.
The feed cut to a wide shot. The camera jerked away. The lights on the stage glitched, then the monitor went to emergency graphic.
His body moved before his brain finished the path.
He was out the door and into the hall in two strides.
“Hyung—” one of his members called.
He ignored it.
Down the corridor, staff burst out of the stage entrance, shouting.
“Kill the power!”
“Get medics!”
“Who’s hit?”
He shoved past a stylist, bounced off a camera operator, and hit the stage entrance just as someone tried to block it.
“Artists stay back,” a PD shouted, arm out.
“I’m going through,” Y/n said.
“You can’t—”
He ducked under the arm, slipped by before they could grab him.
The stage floor smelled like hot metal and ionized air. The rig had come down on one side, partly caught by safety chains, but one corner had smashed into the stage deck hard.
The girls were clustered near center. Staff circled them. Wonyoung stood with wide eyes, hand over her mouth. Yujin had both arms out, shielding. Rei clutched her shoulder, wincing. Gaeul yelled something at a tech about cables.
Liz sat on the floor near the impact point. One leg stretched out, one bent. A piece of light casing lay near her foot. Two staff knelt by her, one checking her ankle, one trying to get her to move.
“I’m fine,” she said, voice clipped. “Get the others.”
He crossed the distance. A tech grabbed his sleeve—“You can’t be here”—he shook him off and dropped to a crouch next to her.
“What’s wrong?” he said.
She looked up, sweat and stage makeup streaking near her hairline. “You again.”
“Move,” the staffer at her ankle said. “You’re in the way.”
Y/n shifted to the side, staying in her line of sight but out of the medic’s hand space.
Her right ankle already swelled above the shoe line. The medic pressed along the bone with careful fingers. She hissed once, lips going tight.
“Pain?” the medic asked.
“What do you think?” she shot back.
“Probably a sprain,” he said. “We need to get you to the med room.”
“I can walk,” she said.
“No, you can’t,” Yujin said, kneeling on the other side now. “Don’t be stupid.”
“I’m not—”
“You can’t even move your foot,” Rei said, standing behind, face pale. “Don’t pretend.”
Y/n watched, muscles tight. He knew his presence here made no sense. He knew cameras might catch this from somewhere. He didn’t care.
“Give me your hand,” he said to her.
She glared. “Why?”
“So you don’t have to push off the floor,” he said. “Just take it.”
She stared one second more, then grabbed his forearm instead of his hand, fingers digging into the fabric. He braced his stance, solid. As the medic supported her leg, she used his arm and Yujin’s shoulder on the other side to shift her weight so they could slip something under her.
They brought a folding chair. She eased down onto it with a tight breath. Her jaw clenched so hard a faint line popped in her cheek.
“Can you feel your toes?” the medic asked.
She flexed them inside the shoe. “Yeah.”
“That’s good,” he said. “We’ll cut the shoe off in the med room.”
“Don’t cut it,” she said.
“We have to,” he said.
“It’s a sponsor,” she said through her teeth.
He made a face. “Fine, then we’ll untie it. But you need X-rays.”
She looked past him, out at the dark house where the crowd sat confused under half-light.
“We didn’t finish,” she said.
“Forget the stage,” Yujin said. “You almost got crushed.”
“It almost hit Rei,” Liz said.
“I ducked,” Rei said weakly. “I’m okay.”
Staff started clearing the broken rig. Someone killed the mainstage lights completely. Emergency strips lit the exits in dull green.
“Med room, now,” the medic said.
They rolled a small equipment cart with a padded top over. She frowned at it. “I can walk. It’s not that bad.”
The medic grabbed her ankle lightly. She flinched, whole body tensing.
“Walk on that and you’ll make it worse,” Yujin said. “Get on.”
Liz set her jaw. She looked at Yujin, then at Rei, then at him. Last.
“Let me go,” she said.
He glanced at the medic. “I’ll push the cart.”
“We got it,” the medic said.
“I’ll help,” Y/n said.
The medic hesitated. Yujin watched him, then looked at Liz.
“Let him,” Yujin said. “We need to move. Fans are going crazy out there.”
The medic gave in. “Fine. But don’t go fast.”
They shifted her onto the cart. She grabbed his arm again for leverage, breath hissing through her teeth as her foot moved. Once she settled, he took the front handle. The medic took the back.
They pushed her off stage into the side hall. Staff parted for them. Some stared. Some filmed on their phones until a manager barked at them to stop.
The hall felt longer than usual. Each wheel squeak carried.
She kept her eyes on the ceiling tiles, jaw set, hands gripping the edge of the cart. Her leg lay elevated on a folded jacket.
“You okay?” he said quietly.
“Don’t ask stupid questions,” she said, not looking at him.
The medic spoke over them. “Pain scale, one to ten.”
“Six,” she said.
“Eight,” Yujin muttered behind them.
“Six,” Liz repeated.
They reached the med room. Small space. Two beds. Metal cabinets. Smell of antiseptic. Old posters about stretching.
They transferred her to a bed. She gripped his forearm again when they lifted her. Her nails dug in, sharp anchors.
The medic went for scissors. “We have to cut.”
“Careful,” her manager said. “Shoe is sponsored.”
“We’ll cut the laces,” the medic said. “That’s all.”
Y/n backed up to give them space. He hit the wall with his shoulders and slid down until he sat on the little plastic chair by the door.
He watched as they unlaced the shoe slowly, then eased it off. Her ankle looked worse without the support. Swelling puffy and angry.
She stared at it, face blank. Not at the skin. At the space beyond.
“X-ray van is outside,” someone said. “We’ll move her there after we ice it.”
Yujin leaned against the wall near the bed, arms crossed tight. Rei sat on a rolling stool, hand on Liz’s knee.
Their manager fielded calls in the corner. “Yes, she’s conscious. Yes, only the ankle. No, no head hit.”
Y/n sat, hands loose between his knees, feeling like extra weight in the room. He knew he should leave. Family circle. Group circle. He didn’t belong here.
She glanced at him once, eyes flicking over. Not signalling anything. Just noting.
He stood. Her eyes tracked the movement.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“Out,” he said. “You have your people. I’m… extra.”
Her face twitched. “You barged on stage. Now you remember boundaries?”
“Better late,” he said.
“Sit,” she said.
It wasn’t a plea. More like an order.
He sat.
The medic wrapped her ankle in a cold pack and elastic. She hissed again at the contact, then settled.
“You’ll need crutches for a bit,” the medic said. “No stage for at least a week, probably more.”
Her hands curled around the blanket. The news hit harder than the metal had.
“A week?” Yujin repeated, eyes wide. “We have music shows.”
“You want her to tear a ligament?” the medic said. “She won’t sing from a wheelchair.”
Liz closed her eyes for a second, then opened them.
They prepped to move her. He watched as they slid a transfer board under her and got ready to lift again.
“I’ll wait outside,” he said.
She snapped her gaze to him. “Why?”
“Because I’m not family or staff,” he said. “You don’t owe me updates.”
She studied his face. “You really think I care about protocol right now?”
“Your company does,” he said.
“Fuck my company,” she said under her breath.
Yujin winced. “Jiwon—”
Liz ignored her. She kept her eyes on Y/n.
“You started this by running in,” she said. “Don’t tap out mid-way.”
He exhaled. “I didn’t start it. The rig did.”
“You know what I mean,” she said. “If you’re going to act like you care, don’t stop halfway to look clean.”
Something in him snapped at that. All the caution, all the pulling back, all the manager warnings burned at the edges.
“I do care,” he said. “That’s the problem.”
“Then stay,” she said.
The medic cleared his throat. “We really have to move now.”
They took her out to the X-ray van. Hallways blurred with staff and gear. Rain still hammered on the roof, noise constant overhead.
He walked beside the stretcher, hands tight at his sides. Wonyoung wiped at her eyes as she passed, makeup streaking. Gaeul cursed softly in the back. Rei sniffled once.
Outside, the rain soaked them in seconds. Staff held umbrellas over the stretcher. His hoodie clung cold to his neck. Water ran down the back of his collar.
They loaded her into the van. Only one person could ride with her for space. Manager climbed in.
Yujin grabbed his wrist before he could step back. “Hey.”
He turned.
“Thanks,” she said. No fake idol tone. Just flat truth. “If you didn’t come, she’d have tried to walk. You know her.”
He shook his head. “Anyone would’ve helped.”
“Not like that,” Yujin said. “The others are scared of stepping on company lines. You don’t care. That helps sometimes.”
Rain ran off her hair. She squeezed his wrist once, then let go and climbed into the van’s front seat.
The door shut. The van pulled away.
He stood in the loading bay, rain bouncing off the pavement, hoodie soaked through.
His manager appeared under an umbrella, face tight. “You want to get roasted?”
“I went to help,” Y/n said.
“You went on stage during a live show,” manager said. “If a fan cam caught that, if an article spins this—”
“Let them,” Y/n cut in.
Manager stared. “You’re serious.”
“She could’ve been crushed,” he said. “You think I’m going to stand in the hallway and worry about Dispatch?”
Manager’s shoulders sagged a little. Some of the heat bled off. “I get it. I do. I just… this isn’t clean.”
“Nothing here is clean,” Y/n said.
Manager rubbed his forehead. “Fine. Damage is done. We deal with it.”
He rode home in silence. Clothes damp. Heater on. Members buzzing about the incident in low voices.
“You see that rig?” one said. “Scary as hell.”
“She’s going to be okay, right?” another asked.
“Sprain,” Y/n said. “They said sprain.”
“You heard?” the first asked.
“Yeah,” he said.
No one pressed him on how.
Days passed. Articles came out. “Minor Incident During IVE Stage.” “Member Reported With Ankle Injury.” Fancams of the rig dropping flooded the feed. Slow-motion edits. Circles around the near-miss with Rei. Comments full of “get well soon” and anger at the station.
A few sharp-eyed fans circled him in one clip—him pushing the cart, face half-turned away—and speculated.
“Is that Y/n?”
“He ran on stage??”
“Saved princess Liz??”
He ignored them.
IVE canceled some schedules, rearranged others. Liz didn’t appear on a few music shows; the group performed adjusted choreography with a gap.
He watched the clips. Their formation looked off. Balance shifted.
Then, one late night, his phone buzzed with an unknown number.
He lay on his bed, lights off, screen the only glow.
He stared at the number. Answer or not.
He hit accept and put it to his ear.
“Yeah,” he said.
“It’s me,” Liz said.
His stomach jolted. “Hey.”
“Your manager gave me your number,” she said. “I yelled at him for it.”
“He deserves that,” he said.
Silence. He heard the faint buzz of some machine in the background, a fridge or air unit.
“You home?” he asked.
“Dorm,” she said. “Ankle elevated. TV on mute.”
“X-ray?” he asked.
“Sprain,” she said. “Ligaments angry. No tear.”
He let out a breath he hadn’t known he held. “Good.”
“Doctors said I need to rest,” she said. “I told them I have a job. They didn’t care.”
“Doctors usually don’t,” he said.
Another pause. He waited. She breathed.
“You probably want to say ‘I told you so,’” she said.
“No,” he said. “I just want you to heal.”
“That’s a line,” she said, but there was no edge to it this time. More automatic than meant.
“I mean it,” he said. “You missing two stages doesn’t kill the world.”
“It kills our momentum,” she said.
“Your group will live,” he said. “You’re not a rookie in year one anymore.”
She shifted on the other end. Fabric rustled. He pictured her propped up with pillows, leg in a brace, remote on her lap.
“You ran in,” she said.
“I was close,” he said.
“You weren’t that close,” she said.
“I was close enough to see it on the monitor,” he said. “Then I ran.”
“You didn’t think about the cameras,” she said.
“No,” he said.
“You didn’t think about scandal,” she said.
“No,” he said.
“You didn’t think about how this looks for your clean image,” she said.
“I don’t care,” he said.
Silence again, longer this time.
The TV in his room played low from the living room where his members had left it on. Some drama OST leaked through the wall.
“You meant what you said that day,” she finally said.
“Which part?” he asked.
“I like you,” she said.
“Yeah,” he answered. “Still do.”
“It’s stupid,” she said.
“Probably,” he said.
“You should like someone easier,” she said.
“Probably,” he said again.
“You’re not even trying to argue,” she said.
“I’m tired,” he said. “And I’m not good at pretending I don’t feel something when I do. I can hide it from cameras. Not from myself.”
She let out a breath that sounded like it had been caught for days. “You pissed me off.”
“I know,” he said.
“I still don’t trust you,” she said.
“I know,” he repeated.
“You’re not going to stop, are you?” she said.
“I’m not going to push you,” he said. “I’m not going to show up under your window with flowers. I’m not going to leak our texts. I’m just… not going to lie when you ask me how I feel. That’s all I’ve got.”
“That sounds exhausting,” she said.
“It is,” he said.
A faint sound came through. He realized she was shifting the phone from one ear to the other.
“Why did you stay in the med room?” she asked.
“You told me to,” he said.
“You could have left anyway,” she said.
“I wanted to see you get in the van,” he said. “To know you’d actually go.”
“You think I’m that stubborn?” she said.
“Yes,” he said.
She snorted, then sucked in a sharp breath, like the laugh had jolted her ankle. “Shit.”
“You okay?” he asked.
“Moved wrong,” she said. “Idiot.”
“You called or I called?” he said.
“I called,” she said.
“Why?” he asked.
He heard her swallow on the line. “You kept showing up in my head.”
He stared at the dark ceiling. “In what way?”
“Annoying way,” she said. “Like when I was replaying the rig drop, you kept popping up in the corner of the frame. When the medic wrapped my foot, I remembered your face near the vending machine. When the doctor said no stage, I heard you say ‘you’ll burn out’ in my head. It was irritating.”
“So you called to tell me I’m irritating,” he said.
“Kind of,” she said.
He smiled for the first time that day, small, unseen. “Okay.”
“I thought you’d gloat,” she said.
“I’m not happy you got hurt,” he said.
“You warned me about rest,” she said.
“Yeah,” he said. “Didn’t want you to learn it via falling metal.”
She breathed out, something between a sigh and a quiet laugh.
“I still think you’re not different enough,” she said.
He forced his hand to stay loose on the bedsheet. “Okay.”
“But you didn’t run toward Wonyoung,” she added.
He blinked. “What?”
“When the rig dropped,” she said. “Everyone always runs toward the one in the middle. The main. The face. She was closer to the left. You ran straight for my side.”
“I saw you on the floor,” he said.
“I was sitting up,” she said. “Wonyoung was the one frozen.”
“I saw you on the floor,” he repeated. “That’s all.”
She fell quiet again. He heard a gulp of water, the click of a bottle cap.
“I don’t know what to do,” she said.
“You’re injured,” he said. “Do nothing for once.”
“About you,” she said.
He swallowed. “Do nothing there too, if that’s what you need.”
“That’s the thing,” she said. “I don’t know what I need.”
“Then we wait,” he said.
“You’ll wait,” she said. “That’s your grand offer.”
“Yeah,” he said. “I’ll wait. Not forever. I’m not going to rot. But I won’t run off and pretend this never happened because it’s easier.”
“That sounds like some drama script,” she said.
“No background music here,” he said. “Just my hoarse voice.”
She hummed once. “Your voice held on stage, by the way.”
“You were there too,” he said.
“Not for the last chorus,” she said.
“You did enough,” he said.
She shifted again, fabric rasping. “You really don’t want Wonyoung?”
“I like Wonyoung,” he said. “She’s funny. She works hard. She’s not you.”
“What about Yujin?” she said.
“Same answer,” he said.
“You’re sure you’re not mixing gratitude and…" she searched for a word, "...adrenaline with actual feeling?”
He thought about it. The vending machine. The sandwich. Her focus in rehearsal. Her refusal to accept easy praise. Her bluntness. The way his chest had clenched before any rig fell.
“No,” he said. “This started before the accident. That just… stripped the bullshit off.”
“Bullshit like what?” she asked.
“Like pretending I’m fine with just work,” he said. “Like nodding politely and drifting off. I’m not wired like that.”
She didn’t answer for a while. He thought the call might have dropped, then heard her slow breathing.
“I’m scared,” she said.
The words came out thin, almost swallowed.
“What of?” he asked, even though he knew.
“Of being wrong again,” she said. “Of watching you fade. Of giving you all my… focus, then having you look over my shoulder at someone else.”
He stared at the ceiling. “I can’t promise you I’ll never mess up. I’m not a perfect guy. I’ve been selfish before. Flaky even. I can only promise I won’t start something with you if I plan to bail at the first harder option.”
“That’s still a promise,” she said.
“Yeah,” he said. “A small one. But real.”
“I don’t trust promises,” she said.
“Then don’t,” he said. “Trust time. Watch what I do. If I act like every other guy, dump me in that pile. If I don’t, adjust as you see fit.”
“You talk like this is a business deal,” she said.
“In our world, it kind of is,” he said. “Everything’s risk and return. I get it. I’m just saying: you set the terms.”
“What if my terms are impossible?” she said.
“Try me,” he said.
She went quiet again.
“My terms,” she said slowly, “are that you don’t touch me unless I say you can. No secret dates in crowded places for fanservice. No leaks to your friends for clout. You don’t use my name in any song without checking. You don’t get pissed if I don’t answer right away. You don’t pout on variety about some ‘mysterious heartbreak’ to feed rumors.”
“Done,” he said.
“I’m not finished,” she said.
“Keep going,” he said.
“You don’t introduce me as your anything to anyone outside people we both trust,” she said. “If this becomes a thing. You don’t make me your brand. You don’t use us for content. You don’t ‘accidentally’ mention me on live.”
“Done,” he said again.
“You don’t send food support with my name fucking huge on the banner,” she said.
He almost smiled. “I thought you liked that truck.”
“I did,” she said. “But I don’t want more eyes on me because of some guy. I already get enough judgment.”
“I’ll send it under the sound team’s name next time,” he said.
She huffed. “Idiot.”
“Anything else?” he asked.
“Yeah,” she said, voice dropping. “If you change your mind about me, you tell me. Direct. No slow fade. No ‘busy’. No new rumors with someone taller while you still text me at night.”
“Done,” he said. “And if you change your mind about me, you tell me too. No polite distance. No soft ghost.”
“That’s my style though,” she said.
“Change your style,” he said. “For that one thing.”
She went silent. He heard her exhale.
“And what do you want?” she asked. “You get to say terms too.”
He hadn’t thought that far. He rolled onto his side, phone pressed to his ear, eyes on the faint line of light under his door.
“I want you honest,” he said. “Brutal, if you need. No sugar. You’re already good at that. Keep it. I want you to keep working like you do, not ease up to make room for me. I want to see you sing from backstage and know you don’t need me for anything there.”
“That sounds masochistic,” she said.
“I like watching you work,” he said. “Always did.”
“What about couple stuff?” she said, like the words tasted strange.
“We’ll figure it out,” he said. “If we get there.”
“That’s not an answer,” she said.
“It is,” he said. “I don’t have some fantasy of dates in open cafes. We live in vans and waiting rooms. If you ever let me in, it’ll probably be shared meals in practice rooms, stupid jokes in corridors, holding your bag while you change shoes. I’m fine with that.”
“You’re selling it really well,” she said, sarcasm thin but there.
“I’m telling you what it is,” he said.
Air moved through the line. He could almost feel the weight of her thinking.
“What are we right now?” she asked.
“Two idiots on the phone at midnight,” he said.
“That’s accurate,” she said.
“Beyond that,” he added, “we’re two people who like each other at different speeds. One faster, one slower.”
“Which is which?” she said.
“You know,” he said.
“Cocky,” she said.
“Honest,” he answered.
She clicked her tongue.
Another long pause.
“If I say yes,” she said slowly, “it’s not really a yes. It’s more like a… I’ll watch.”
“I’ll take that,” he said.
“You don’t even know what that means,” she said.
“It means you’re opening the door an inch,” he said. “I won’t try to kick it down.”
“We’ll probably fail,” she said.
“Probably,” he said.
“You’re supposed to say ‘no, we’ll make it,’” she said.
“I’m not a drama lead,” he said. “I’m just a guy with bad sleep and a sore throat.”
She let out a small, real laugh this time. It cut through the static and hit him clean.
“Fine,” she said. “Door’s open an inch.”
His fingers tightened on the phone. “Okay.”
“That doesn’t mean boyfriend,” she said quickly. “Don’t get excited. It means… I won’t push you away when you show up. I’ll answer sometimes. I’ll see if your actions match that big mouth of yours.”
He swallowed. “That’s more than I had yesterday.”
“You’re really easy to please,” she said.
“I’m not,” he said. “I just know progress when I see it.”
“Don’t push,” she warned.
“I won’t,” he said. “I’ll just… be around. Same way I’ve been. Without hovering.”
“That’s a thin line,” she said.
“I’ll learn to walk it,” he said.
She sighed, long. “You better not make me regret this.”
“I might,” he said. “But I’ll try not to.”
“You’re terrible at reassurance,” she said.
“I’m good at follow-through,” he said.
“We’ll see,” she said.
They stayed on the line without saying anything for a while. Just breathing. The clock on his nightstand ticked. Somewhere, a car passed outside.
“You should sleep,” she said.
“You too,” he said.
“I can’t,” she said. “Leg’s throbbing.”
“Call me if you can’t stand it,” he said. “I’ll talk nonsense until you pass out from boredom.”
“Why would I call you?” she said.
“Because I pick up,” he said.
She went quiet, then: “Good night, idiot.”
“Good night,” he said.
The line clicked dead.
He lay there, phone still to his ear, listening to the empty hum.
Rain pattered against the window.
Months later, the story rewrote itself on stage.
Her ankle healed. She went through rehab, careful movements, bandwork, slow steps. They ran into each other at shows. At first, it was nods. Then short talks by the water cooler. Then longer ones when both managers weren’t breathing down their necks.
He stayed off her DMs unless she messaged first. Sometimes it was a stupid meme. Sometimes a photo of her cat at home. Sometimes a voice message of her humming a melody and asking, “Is this in tune or is my ear off today?”
He answered. Honest. Simple.
He didn’t send food trucks anymore. He left small, practical things with staff instead. Compression socks. A better ankle brace model he’d found. She complained, called him “grandpa,” wore them anyway.
Slow. Quiet. No grand gestures.
Then one award show, end of year again, they got shoved next to each other in the audience. Random seating chart, or maybe not.
Cameras cut to the crowd for reaction shots. They clapped, laughed, did the idol thing.
During a senior ballad stage, the lights in the hall dipped low. The song rolled slow, strings heavy.
He sat next to her, their knees almost touching.
“You know this one?” he whispered.
“Everyone knows this one,” she whispered back.
They sang along under their breath, not for cameras, just for themselves. Their voices barely audible over the hall speakers, but he could hear her harmony sliding under his line.
Halfway through, the MC called them unexpectedly.
“Tonight’s best collab, chosen by producers and fans— last year’s vocal unit, Y/n and Liz! Please come to the stage!”
The hall erupted. His seat number lit on the side monitor. So did hers.
She looked at him, eyes wide, caught off-guard. He shrugged once.
“Let’s go,” he said.
They walked up together under the spotlight, up the steps, onto the stage where they had stood almost a year ago. The rigging overhead had been replaced since the accident. New bars. Extra safety chains.
They took the trophy together from the presenter. Heavy, cold metal. Both their hands under it for the photo.
“Say something,” the MC said, thrusting the mic toward them.
He looked at her. She nodded once, almost invisible, telling him to go first.
He took the mic. Lights hit his face.
“Thank you,” he said into the hall. “We didn’t expect this. The stage last year was just work for us. But… a lot happened around it. I’m just glad we both got to stand here again. Healthy.”
He handed the mic to her. Their fingers brushed, quick.
She held it up. Breath steady.
“I didn’t like that stage at first,” she said. Murmurs rolled through the crowd. “Too much talk about chemistry. Too much noise. I got hurt not long after. I blamed that whole period in my head. But… I’m grateful now. Because that stage showed me who would run toward me when things fell.”
She didn’t look at him as she said it. She looked straight at the seats, at the cameras. But he felt the air change.
Fans screamed. “KYAAAAA.”
The MC laughed, milking it. “Oh, that’s deep. So you two are really close friends now?”
She answered before he could.
“We’re still… figuring it out,” she said. “Slow.”
There it was. On live broadcast. No drama music, no soft filters. Just her voice, steady.
The MC blinked, thrown by the non-script line. “That’s… honest.”
“We don’t lie well,” she said.
He smiled, small, real, at that.
They took their trophy and stepped to the side. Cameras flashed. Fans screamed more. Ship tags exploded online in real time.
Backstage later, in a deserted stairwell that smelled like dust and old paint, they stood facing each other, trophy on the step between them.
“You didn’t have to say that,” he said.
“I wanted to,” she said.
“You realize what people will think,” he said.
“They always think something,” she said. “This time, they can be half-right.”
“Half?” he said.
“We’re not a couple yet,” she said. “Not in the way they think. But we’re not… nothing. I’m done pretending you’re air.”
He watched her. The harsh stairwell light cut no favors. No soft glow. Just plain lines. Her face looked tired. Eyes ringed. Lips chapped from stage. Real.
“How much is the door open now?” he asked.
She stepped up one step, closing the height gap. They were almost level. Her hand reached out, slow, fingers brushing the sleeve of his jacket, then his wrist, then curling around his hand.
It wasn’t dramatic. No music swelled. Just her fingers, dry and warm, linking with his.
“This much,” she said.
His chest pulled tight. He squeezed back, careful, like she might still pull away.
“Still scared?” he asked.
“Yeah,” she said. “Every second.”
“Me too,” he said.
“Good,” she said. “Means we’re not idiots.”
“We are a little,” he said.
She huffed.
Above them, through the thin walls, the muffled sound of the ongoing award show leaked in. Crowd roar. MC jokes. Some other group’s hook.
Down here, in this narrow strip of stairway, it was just them. Two overworked lungs pulling air. Two hands gripping each other. One trophy catching the light in a dull shine on the step.
He looked at her, at the tired set of her mouth, at the stubborn line of her jaw, at the faint scar near her temple.
“Oh! I used to have these in my grandma’s house,” Minju pointed at the school of goldfish, which weirdly, were in a very huge tank.
“I think everyone had a goldfish at least once in their life. I did,” you said, eyes still on the tank.
“That’s not true. Some people had hamsters.” Minju replied immediately.
“That’s worse.”
She scoffed, turning to look at you. “How is that worse?”
“They die really fast and in the most random ways.” you laughed just by thinking about those stupidly fragile creatures.
Minju laughed sharp and sudden, then clapped a hand over her mouth like she hadn’t meant to be that loud. “Right! My cousin had one back then. It died in shock after her dad sneezed too loud!”
You snorted despite yourself. “See? They’re so fragile. That’s why many people have goldfishes,”
“Pfft, whatever smarty pants.” She puffed. “How many did you have? I had three: Kim, Min, and Ju.” She giggled.
“Really? You just named them after your name?”
“Of course I did!” Minju said, feigning offense, her fingers fidgeting with the strap of her bag. “It’s not like I could come up with better names at six years old. Besides, they fit them!”
You tilted your head, pretending to scrutinize the tiny fish darting through the water. Their scales glinted gold in the overhead light, little flashes of sunlight caught mid-swim, like coins tossed into a shallow fountain. “Could you even tell them apart? I only had two but I couldn’t even tell which is which so I just didn’t name them.”
Minju leaned closer, brushing her shoulder against yours. “Oh, come on, that’s lazy. Everyone can tell them apart if they try,” she said teasing you, eyes squinting like she knew she was getting under your skin, but not really.
You chuckled, letting your hand just brush with hers. “I tried. They all just looked like shiny little blobs swimming around.” But actually, you just couldn’t remember what you named those two orange blobs from your childhood.
She gasped dramatically, putting a hand on her chest. “Wow, you just called these cuties just shiny little blobs. Those two will be so disappointed in you.”
“Nah, they’re good. I mean, they’re dead… so…”
Minju huffed a laugh, rolling her eyes but nudging your side with her elbow. She glanced around and then grinned, wrapping her arm to yours. “Come on,”
You let her lead you through the dimly lit hallways to the curve of the glass tunnel. The overhead lights reflected off the water, casting shimmering patterns on the floor, walls, and the two of you. The distant bubbles made it feel like you’d stepped into another world. Well, not really because of the other people also walking around the tunnel.
Sharks swam, and schools of fish swirled around them. There were also stingrays that glided gracefully above the tunnel, wings rippling as if it was flying through water instead of swimming.
Minju slowed her steps, tugging your arm with her. “Okay, tell me that’s not cool,” she said, tilting her head back to watch a stingray glide above you. Its pale underside caught the light.
“It’s cool,” you admitted. “I’m not blind.”
She smiled smugly. “See? Aquarium dates are cool. You doubted me.”
Not that you were against going in an aquarium for a date, you just thought it wouldn’t be as enjoyable just looking at fishes in a bigger tank. But well, you didn’t really had much ideas to where would you go for this date so you just went on with her idea. She wouldn’t really stop talking about it for weeks now ever since she saw one IG reel of this place.
“I didn’t say anything,” you said, acting all innocent. “You’re the one who dragged me here.”
She scoffed, punching your arm. “Dragged you? You walked in on your own two feet.”
“Under protest.”
“Liar,” Minju said, glancing up again at the stingray that already drifted past, replaced by a scatter of silver fish that flashed and vanished like spilled light. “You’re enjoying this.” she sang, leaning into you closer. She slipped both arms around yours, clinging openly now, cheek nearly brushing your shoulder. “You’re so bad at lying. It’s cute.”
“You’re cute,” you said, playfully bumping her lightly.
“Iiiing…” Minju whined, stretching the sound as she squeezed your arm tighter, swaying a little side to side. “Don’t say it like that. You’re embarrassing me.” she pouted, squeezing her damn voice higher like a child.
“Now you’re the one embarrassing me,” you said, smiling as you leaned closer. “People are already looking.”
Minju narrowed her eyes at you, her pout faltering just before she smirked, letting out a soft, teasing giggle. “Hmph. You’re annoying,” she said, then suddenly her cutesy aegyoistic self coming back again, bouncing slightly on her heels. “Come on, you like it here! Admit it, admit it!” she squeaked, looking up at you with a grin, her whisker dimple digging on her cheek.
You rolled your eyes but couldn’t hide your grin. “Fine, fine… I like it. Happy now?”
“Tch… you only say that to shut me up.” that squeaky childish voice dropped deep, clearly unimpressed with your answer. She rolled her eyes as she freed herself from you, arms crossing trying to look away. Seriously, what even was the answer she wanted to hear? Everything would literally be a wrong answer for her.
You stopped walking, letting her pull ahead without you. She hasn’t even noticed as her focus was on the small goldfih following the bigger fih behind the glass. She was completely absorbed in the shimmer of the water, unaware that you were deliberately grinning behind her, watching her as she got a little far.
“Mingju,” you called softly, already recording her from your phone.
She froze mid-step, probably confused as why your call came from behind. You could see the imaginary question marks popping above her head as she turned side to side like a lost puppy, or perhaps a lost fox.
A smile formed on your lips, not to tease or annoy your girlfriend, you were simply just happy. She looked so pretty. How did you even manage to bag a solid 10/10 like Minju? Wait, more like a 1,000,000/10. About right? No, it was definitely more than that. You’d still choose her, love her till your next life, and the life after. You’d choose her eternally.
She turned a little more, scanning the tunnel with a faint frown, lips parted like she was about to ask something on someone. For a while, she genuinely looked misplaced, eyes drifting over strangers, fish, glass, anything but you. Then her gaze landed on that familiar figure with the familiar matching white shirt as hers.
“Yah!” she ran tiny hurried steps towards you, almost bumping on that little child that was wandering so carelessly unattended. And you were assaulted with a flurry of consecutive normal punches raining down your chest and shoulders. “You’re so annoying!”
“Minju,” you laughed, grabbing her wrists mid-swing before she could land another hit. “Calm down, that’s enough.”
She tried to tug free, still muttering complaints under her breath, but her glare softened when she noticed you weren’t laughing at her, just smiling like a complete idiot in love. Your eyes met, making her crack as she lose her character. “Yah, you’re so mean.” she whined, bottom lip jutting out.
“Sorry,” you murmured, leaning in to plant a kiss on her forehead. “Sorry,” you said again, followed by another kiss against the tip of her nose. “Sorry,” and finally, a peck on that ridiculous pout.
She blinked at the last kiss, pout melting into a flustered half-smile. “You think kisses solve everything?” Minju muttered, but she didn’t pull away. If anything, her fingers curled tighter into your shirt, tugging you closer.
“Most things,” you said lightly, dipping your head near her ear and whispered something. “Some things might require me to breed you—” you couldn’t even finish, Minju’s smack landed on your chest with more surprise than force. “YAH!” she yelped, swatting your chest with more shock than actual force, though her smile betrayed her.
You laughed it off, glancing down… then you dropped, one knee hitting the polished floor. Minju went still, completely, utterly still. “…What?” The word barely made it past her lips. Her eyes went wide, then wider. A woman walking past slowed. Someone behind Minju audibly gasped. The tunnel's fluorescent lights cast everything in harsh white, catching the shimmer forming at the corners of her eyes.
You looked up at her, not saying anything. Her hands flew to her mouth, eyes sparkling, cheeks floshed pink full of blood rushing up to her face. “Yah…” she squeaked, acting all excited, wobbling slightly on her feet as she stared down at you. “…Is this—?
You just let the silence hang, letting it stretch for a bit just to make her chest completely filled with butterflies. You held her gaze for a moment, letting the tension build, her smile creeping inuncontrollably, stretching so wide her eyes nearly disappeared. Then, just as dramatically, just as slowly, you reached into your pocket… then you pulled your hand out… and flashed a tiny finger heart.
“I love you.”
Beat.
“Your shoe’s untied.”
The bright and excited smile on her face was fast gone with yet the fourth? Or maybe the fifth frown of the day. “…Yah.” You watched realization crawl across her expression in real time, shock, confusion, then the slowest-building storm of indignation you'd ever seen, so you just worked on her lace before she could kick your balls off.
“YAH—” she shrieked, too loud that the couple who’d stopped by flinched. Her hands instinctively flied to her mouth, bowing on the passersby with a small “sorry” along. They shuffled off quickly, already whispering at each other.
Minju turned back to you as you stood, and the look on her face could've killed a man. “Don’t you fucking scare me like that!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said, shrugging your shoulders.
Minju stared at you like she was plotting some unspeakable things to you on the spot. “You’re unbelievable,” she muttered, then jabbed your chest with her finger. “I actually thought you were serious. My heart—” she clicked her tongue, shaking her head. “You owe me.”
“For what?”
“For emotional trauma,”
You bit back a grin. "That's a stretch.”
“I hate you,” she muttered, but her arm was already slithering its way wrapping around yours. You stumbled after her as she marched slightly ahead of you, still grumbling to herself under her breath. “Next time you kneel, you better mean it. I almost embarrassed myself in front of strangers.” she said without turning to you.
“I just tied your shoe. You would have embarrassed yourself if you tripped so you’re welcome.” you said, still trying to play dumb with her. “Besides, you were already embarrassing,” you teased.
She whipped her head toward you. “What did you say?”
“Uhm, that you were embarrassing?”
“Say that again.”
"Em-bar-rass-ing.” you repeated each syllable slowly and annoyingly, and honestly, the look on her face made it worth whatever’s coming. She swatted, but you just dodged.
She tried swatting you and missed again, which made you hold back a laughter. And then, probably against her will, she started laughing too. Just a little at first, a sharp exhale through her nose, but it cracked her wide open. By the time you reached the vending machine near the tunnel exit, she was shaking her head at you like she couldn't believe she put up with this.
The machine hummed quietly. A few people milled around cylindrical glasses lined up in the darker room. Minju let go of you and stepped up to the machine, arms folding as she squinted at the rows of drinks inside.
“What do you want?” she asked, though you just watched her fingers as she punch two Milkis on the keypad without even waiting for you to answer.
“Why’d you even ask?”
A side eye followed by an eye roll is the only answer you got. She leaned down to grab the two cans clunked down into the dispenser. She straightened up with both cans in hand, holding one out to you like she was doing you a favor. But she pulled it back out of your reach before you could grab it, mouth curled up along with one eyebrow.
“So is that mine…?” you asked, darting your eyes to the can on her hand then back to hers.
MInju lifted her chin and turned her head slightly, her not floshed anymore cheeks facing you now. She didn’t say anything, maybe just letting you figure out what she was asking for yourself. You just stood there, though you’re not exactly clueless, you just want her to explicitly say what she wants. But well, Minju clearly wasn’t going to give you the satisfaction.
She tilted her head a little more, lips pressed together, eyes flicking pointedly to your mouth and then back to yours. Still stubbornly silent. You bit the inside of your cheek, trying not to laugh at her trying so hard to get a kiss.
You finally broke first, a quiet laugh slipping out as you shook your head. “You’re ridiculous,” you said. Minju’s eyes narrowed when you didn’t move, then clicking her tongue softly. Her stare grew more pointed, almost offended that you were enjoying this.
“Just ask what you want,” you laughed in between your words. But she’s still refusing to give in, so you just gave her the satisfaction and leaned in, planting one kiss on her cheek, then another, then another.
Her head turned fast with a wide grin on her face, no hints of any annoyance she was having just a second ago. “See? That wasn’t so hard was it?”
She popped open one of the cans, handed it over, then cracked open her own and took a long sip, eyes still on you the whole time. The cold fizz hit your tongue, sweet and sharp, and you downed half the can in one go just to give yourself something to do that wasn't staring at the way her throat moved when she swallowed.
Minju wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, then grabbed your arm again, her favorite method of steering you around, apparently. "Come on. I want to see the seahorses."
"Seahorses?"
"Yeah." She tugged you forward, weaving between a family with a stroller and some guy taking a selfie with a tank full of neon tetras. "They're cute. And they mate for life you know."
You raised an eyebrow. "Are you trying to imply something?"
She glanced at you over her shoulder. "I don’t know.”
The seahorse exhibit was tucked into a smaller alcove off the main tunnel, dimmer than the rest of the aquarium. The tanks here were tall and narrow, lit from within by soft blue and violet LEDs that made the water look almost unreal. Inside, delicate seahorses drifted vertically, tails curled around strands of kelp, their translucent bodies catching the light in shimmering pulses.
You stepped up behind her, your chest brushing her back and peered over her shoulder. The seahorses moved in slow spirals, their tiny fins fluttering so fast they blurred. One of them was bright yellow, hovered near the front of the tank, bobbing gently.
You leaned a little closer, eyes drifting past the bright yellow one, then you spotted two seahorses near the back of the tank. Their tails were wrapped tight around the same strand of kelp… and around each other, moving slowly, suspiciously close. A smirk tugged at your mouth.
“Minju,” you said amused. “Look at those two.”
She followed your gaze, squinting at first. “Which— oh.” Her words stalled. “…Oh.”
The two seahorses swam together, bodies brushing, tails still linked like they had no intention of letting go. You bit the inside of your cheek, already losing the battle against your grin.
“Yah,” she whispered, then immediately slapped your arm. “Don’t make it weird.”
“I didn’t say anything,” you replied, already laughing under your breath. “They’re the ones doing all the work.”
“Why are you laug—” Minju cracked as her eyes met yours. Minju wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, then grabbed your arm again, her favorite method of steering you around, apparently. "Come on. I want to see the seahorses."
"Seahorses?"
"Yeah." She tugged you forward, weaving between a family with a stroller and some guy taking a selfie with a tank full of neon tetras. "They're cute. And they mate for life you know."
You raised an eyebrow. "Are you trying to imply something?"
She glanced at you over her shoulder. "I don’t know.”
The seahorse exhibit was tucked into a smaller alcove off the main tunnel, dimmer than the rest of the aquarium. The tanks here were tall and narrow, lit from within by soft blue and violet LEDs that made the water look almost unreal. Inside, delicate seahorses drifted vertically, tails curled around strands of kelp, their translucent bodies catching the light in shimmering pulses.
You stepped up behind Minju, your chest brushing her back and peered over her shoulder. The seahorses moved together, their tiny fins fluttering. One of them was bright yellow, hovered near the front of the tank, bobbing gently.
You leaned a little closer, eyes drifting past the bright yellow one, then you spotted two seahorses near the back of the tank. Their tails were wrapped tight around the same strand of kelp… and around each other, moving slowly, suspiciously close. A smirk tugged at your mouth. “Minju, look.” you said amused.
She followed your gaze, squinting at first. “Which—… oh.” Her words stalled.
The two seahorses swam together, bodies brushing, tails still linked like they had no intention of letting go. You bit the inside of your cheek, already losing the battle against your grin.
“Yah,” she whispered, then immediately slapped your arm. “Don’t make it weird.”
“I didn’t say anything,” you replied, already laughing under your breath. “They’re the ones doing all the work.”
“Why are you laug—” Minju cracked as her eyes met yours. She covered her mouth, shoulders shaking. "Cut that stupid smirk off your face."
“Come on, you’re literally the one making it weird. I just told you to look at them.”
Minju tried to hold it together, but the more she looked at them, the worse it got. She pressed her lips together, shoulders shaking, but she lost it and buried her face in your arm. “Stop looking at me like that,” she mumbled, laughing.
“You’re the one who dragged me to the seahorses,” you reminded her.
She straightened up, eyes glinting with mischief now that she’d recovered. “Well,” she said, folding her arms, “you know in seahorses the male carries the babies.”
“So?”
She leaned in closer, grin spreading. “So technically,” she said sweetly, poking your chest, “if we were seahorses, you’d be the one getting pregnant.”
“Well thank God we’re not seahorses then.”
"Aw, what?" Minju pouted, tilting her head with disappointment. "You don't want to carry my babies?”
You stared at her for a beat, then let your gaze drift deliberately down to her stomach, then back up to meet her eyes. "Pretty sure that's not how it works for us."
”Pshh, you’re boring.” her grin faltered.
"In fact," you continued, stepping closer until she had to tilt her head back to keep eye contact, "I'm pretty sure if anyone's carrying babies, it's gonna be you."
The smugness drained from her face in real time. "I—that's not—"
"What?" You tilted your head, copying her earlier tone. "You don't want to carry my babies?"
"That's different.” Minju's eyes darted to the side, to the seahorses, then back to you. Her face was already flushing.
“What’s different?”
She tried to say something, but couldn’t form it in words, so she just kept herself silent, shaking her head. “Why can’t I win any argument with you?”
You stepped closer, holding her face, her fingers intertwined as she wrapped her arms around your back. “Don’t worry, I still love you even if you’re like that. My Minjugattoo,” you leaned in and kissed her softly, breaking with a warm smile from her.
“I love you too.”
You lingered close, your forehead brushing hers while the low hum of the tank filled the quiet space. The seahorses drifted behind her shoulder, tails still curled together, unaware of the chaos they’d started.
Your eyes flicked past her for a second, then back to her ear as you leaned in. “We should try that position when we get home,” you whispered.
Minju froze, smacking your chest, eyes wide and burning. “Yah,” she hissed, trying not to laugh. “We’re still in public!”
A couple walking past slowed down, glancing at the two of you laughing quietly at a tank full of tiny drifting seahorses. Minju noticed and got off you, trying to look composed, only for her eyes to meet yours again, and she cracked up all over again, her laugh blending with the low hum of the aquarium around you.
“Let’s go.”
.
You followed Minju along the stone path that curved away from the tanks and toward the open river area. It had a much cooler air there, carrying the faint smell of the river’s fresh water. It wasn’t too sunny so it was a good weather for a picnic. Besides, there are others who were already sat down the grass as well.
“Here,” she said, pointing to a patch of grass nearby the riverbank where a line of short trees cast soft shade. The water moved slow and steady beside the stone edge, catching bits of light that slipped through the leaves.
She set her basket bag down, you took the thin blanket and spread it out, pressing the corners flat with both hands so it wouldn’t bunch up. A few families and couples sat farther down the river. There were kids by the small dock, throwing crumbs to the fishes that gathered close by. A few ducks paddling near the makeshift pond in the middle of the park.
Minju dropped onto her knees and reached for the bento box with a small, proud smile. “I woke up early for this,” she said, tapping the lid twice before opening it. There was a carefully but cutely placed small octopus in between the sliced fruits and veggies and rice that had cute small fishes like they’re swimming.
You just raised both your eyebrows, nodding at her statement. ”If you say so,”
Wrong answer, she smacked your arm with darting eyes. “Yah, what’s that supposed to mean?”
“You can barely follow a kimchi fried rice recipe without adding something else. One time you started frying with the fire off. So yeah sure.”
“That was one time, I was experimenting*.*” Minju defended as she took the chopsticks on the bag.
You snorted at the memory of that disastrous dish. It didn’t taste bad though, but not really as impressive. “The egg on the top was talking. That was quite an experiment.”
She took a small tentacle from her bento, but she moved her hand towards your face. “Ah,” you just surrendered and opened your mouth, taking the food and chewing it carefully. “Oh… It’s good!” you said, flashing two thumbs up of approval.
“Eunbi unnie helped me with this.” Minju smiled before taking a bite of her own.
“She helped you or you helped her?”
Minju’s eyes snapped up at you, already defensive. “I cooked,” she insisted, pointing her chopsticks at your face, probably wanting to stab you too. “She helped me.”
You stared at her for a second, then leaned back on your palms, the realization settling in. “Ah,” you said slowly. “So that’s why you suddenly had a sleepover at Eunbi’s place.”
She tried to hold onto the serious face, but it slipped. “Yes, so just shut up and eat.”
“Yes ma’am.”
She kicked your shin, but she was smiling now. You took another bite, the sweet carrot and rice mixing with the faint coolness from the park air. Minju watched you chew like she was waiting for a final verdict, pretending she didn’t care while inching closer until your shoulders pressed together again. You swallowed, then gave a small nod. And she’s already satisfied with that reaction.
The two of you settled into a comfortable rhythm, trading bites, pointing out ducks, watching a kid nearly fall off the dock before his dad caught him. Minju laughed at that, and you realized you'd been smiling unconsciously.
Minju had moved on from the bento to a bag of chips, crunching loudly while she stared out at the river. The orange dust was already collecting on her fingers. She'd pop one in her mouth, chew, then immediately reach for another. You watched her for a moment, the way the breeze kept pulling strands of hair across her face, the way she'd scrunch her nose every time she had to brush them away with the back of her hand. She looked happy, and so were you.
Your hand drifted to your pocket. The small box pressed against your palm through the fabric, a weight you'd been carrying all day. You'd planned this weeks ago, texted Eunbi, coordinated with the aquarium staff, arranged everything down to the last detail. The fake proposal earlier had been part of it too, a way to throw her off, make her think you were just messing around. But now, sitting here in the dappled shade with chip crumbs on the blanket and her shoulder against yours, you felt your pulse kick up. You should do it now.
“Minju…”
“Mm?” she hummed, turning towards you.
“I’m gonna get us some sweets.”
“Mkay. Don’t take too long.”
You stood, brushing off your pants, and headed toward the small vendor cart you'd spotted earlier near the aquarium entrance. Your heart was hammering now, this is it, this is the moment, your moment. The vendor, a middle-aged woman who'd been briefed ahead of time, gave you a knowing smile when you approached. "The special order?" she asked quietly.
You nodded. She disappeared into the back of the cart and returned with two popsicles. One was normal, bright blue and already starting to sweat in the heat. The other looked identical from the outside, but you knew what was frozen inside, a small silver ring wrapped in a smaller plastic film so it won’t get sticky, just something simple and clean, exactly the kind Minju would like. You'd spent hours picking it out. Weeks, really, if you counted all the times you'd scrolled through jewelry sites pretending you were just browsing. You really owed Eunbi one for helping you out with picking the best one. "Good luck," the vendor said, handing them over.
You managed a tight smile. "Thanks.”
The walk back felt longer than it should have. Minju was right where you left her, chip bag now gone, legs stretched out in front of her, scrolling on her phone quietly. She looked up when you approached, eyes lighting up at the sight of the popsicles.
"Ooh, blue!" She reached for the one in your right hand, the normal one, but you pulled it back.
"This one's mine," you said, handing her the other. "Yours is this one.”
Her lips curled, glaring at you. “Pshh, what’s the difference? It’s literally just the same one.”
“Just take it, gosh.”
She huffed but accepted it anyway, tearing open the wrapper with her teeth. You sat back down beside her, your own popsicle forgotten in your hand as you watched her bring it to her lips. She took the first bite, or tried to. Her teeth hit something hard. “Ow— what’s that?” she pulled back, frowning at the popsicle.
Your throat went dry. "Why?”
"Is that a coin or something?" She bit down again, more carefully this time, and her expression shifted. She was confused at first, then her eyes went wide. She pulled the popsicle away from her mouth and stared at it. The ring was visible now, partially exposed in the melting ice. “What…”
You set your own popsicle down on the blanket and shifted, turning to face her fully. Her gaze snapped to you, and you watched the exact moment it clicked, her puppy eyes got redder, tears started to form slowly as she realized what that was.
“Minju,”
She didn't move, didn't speak, she just stared at you with those wide and disbelieving eyes, letting you speak your moment. You reached over and carefully took the popsicle from her hand, then worked the ring free from the melting ice. It came loose easily, cold and wet on your fingers. You teared the plastic film and held it up between you.
"I know I kinda faked a proposal earlier," you started, more sincere now. "And I know you probably think this is another joke, but well it's not.”
Minju just let you speak, a single teardrop fell from her left eye, already realized that it’s real this time.
"I've been thinking about this for a while," you continued. "Longer than I probably should've waited. And I know we're young, and maybe people will think it's too soon, but so what? I don’t care about them." You took a breath. "I love you. I've loved you since the moment I saw your beautiful smile. I love the way your whisker dimple appears whenever I make you smile. I love how you try to act cute when you’re embarrassed. I love how we love hating each other and be sweet the next second. I love that you dragged me wherever you go so we could see everything together. ”
She laughed, or maybe it was a sob. Her eyes were shimmering now, wet and bright.
"And I don't want to wait anymore, let me be the one to drag you now, into a future where we could be together." you said. "I don't want hypotheticals or someday or maybes. I just want you. Forever. Officially.” You shifted onto one knee on the blanket, and her breath hitched.
"Kim Minju," you said, holding up the ring. "Will you marry me?"
For a long moment, she didn't move. Just stared at you with her hand pressed to her mouth, tears spilling over now, tracking down her cheeks. The river moved behind her. A duck quacked. Somewhere nearby, a kid laughed. People gathering around now to witness this moment, the couple from earlier stood there too.
Then she nodded. Once, twice, fast and frantic like she couldn't get the words out.
"Yes," she finally choked out. "Yes, you idiot, yes—"
You barely got the ring on her finger before she launched herself at you, knocking you backward onto the blanket. She kissed you hard, messy, tasting like salt and melting popsicle and something sweeter underneath. Her hands were in your hair, on your face, everywhere at once. The people around started clapping.
When she finally pulled back, she was crying and laughing at the same time, wiping at her face with the back of her hand.
"You—" she started, then stopped, shaking her head. "You hid it in a popsicle? You’re so weird."
"I thought it was clever."
"It's ridiculous." But she was smiling so wide it looked like it hurt, staring down at the ring on her finger like she couldn't quite believe it was real.
"So is that a yes?" you asked, grinning up at her.
She hit your chest. "I already said yes, dumbass."
She kissed you again, softer this time, and when she pulled back her forehead rested against yours. "I can't believe you made me think it was a joke earlier.”
"Had to throw you off."
"I'm gonna kill you for that later."
"Sure you are."
She laughed, burrying her face in your neck. You wrapped your arms around her and held on, feeling her heartbeat against your chest, fast and strong and real.
"I love you," she whispered.
"I love you too."
She pulled back just enough to look at you, eyes still shining. "Forever?"
"Forever."
••••••••••
Big thanks to @mintwithchoco and Wooly for hosting the prompt and for the beautiful moodboards! I didn't really have any actual direction writing this and just rawdogged whatever scene comes to mind which was a bit challenging but it was fun!
It's fucking cold and your blazer does exactly nothing to stop it. The wind just cuts right through like the fabric doesn't exist. You should've grabbed an actual coat before leaving, but hindsight and all that. At least you remembered the hat. Small victories.
Your dress shoes click against the pavement. That's the only sound besides the wind. The whole park is basically empty, which makes sense: it's past midnight. Way past. This is the hour when normal people are home in bed, not walking along the Han River with a bag of honey butter chips in one hand and fresh bandages on the other.
The bandages are from earlier. You punched a mirror in your office. Stupid move. The mirror won that fight. Your knuckles are still throbbing to prove it.
The bench comes into view. Your bench. The one you've been visiting since you were seventeen. Back then it was college entrance exams and a father who looked at you like a disappointment. Now it's a hemorrhaging portfolio and a boardroom full of middle-aged men who look at you like you're a child playing dress-up with daddy's money.
Different problems. Same bench. Same river. Same pathetic ritual of sitting alone in the dark until your head stops screaming.
Except tonight, someone's already there.
You slow your pace. A figure hunched forward, elbows on knees, hands pressed against their head, their shoulders shaking. Not from the cold, but from crying. You can hear the faint whimpering. It's a woman. You can tell from the frame, small and slight, wearing this oversized hoodie. Her face is completely hidden, buried in her hands, and she's just... falling apart. Right there. On your bench.
Great. Just what you needed.
You glance around. The pathway stretches empty in both directions. No friends hovering nearby, no security guards, no one at all. Just you and this stranger having a breakdown on your bench at one in the morning. You could leave. Turn around, find another spot, let her have her moment of private misery without some asshole in a wrinkled blazer standing ten feet away like a creep.
But your feet don't move. Eventually, though, she becomes aware of you, because her head snaps up. That’s when the streetlight catches her face. Your own face is obscured by shadows, so she doesn't see your expression of astonishment when you see her.
It's Karina.
Yu Jimin. From aespa. The Yu Jimin whose face you've seen on billboards, variety shows and big stages. She's staring at you with red-rimmed eyes and tear-streaked cheeks and an expression that's rapidly shifting from devastation to alarm. "Who are you?" She scrambles to her feet, putting distance between you. "What are you doing here?"
You don't answer immediately. Your brain is still buffering, still trying to reconcile the idol on the billboards with the crying girl in front of you, but your mouth operates on autopilot. "Well." You gesture at the trees, the river, the general ambiance of public outdoor space. "This is a park. People walk here. I just came to sit on the bench where I usually come to cry… But it seems someone beat me to it."
Jimin's expression flickers. She can't tell if you're joking or genuinely pathetic, and honestly, neither can you. "I'm sorry." She wipes hastily at her face, smearing tears across her cheek. "I'll go. I shouldn't be here anyway."
"No, no." You wave your unbandaged hand in a dismissive gesture. "I'm kidding. Stay. Bench is all yours. I'm leaving."
Who cares about the problems of Korea’s it girl when your own life is falling apart? So you turn. Start walking. Your shoes click against the pavement again, and you're already thinking about the convenience store two blocks over, whether they'll have more chips, whether you can find another bench somewhere that doesn't have a sobbing celebrity on it.
Three steps. Four. Five.
You stop.
Because the thing is: that's Yu Jimin back there. Karina. And you watched the news last week like everyone else. You saw the footage of her walking off stage mid-performance, the confused backup dancers, the fan cams cutting to black. The internet exploded with theories. Mental breakdown. Contract dispute. Secret illness. Nobody knew anything concrete, and SM Entertainment released some bullshit statement about "scheduling adjustments" that convinced exactly no one.
And now she's here. Alone. Crying by the river at one in the morning with no one around. You don’t want to go home, fall asleep, and wake up in the morning to turn on the news and hear the final, tragic headline about Yu Jimin. Knowing you could have done something.
You turn back. Jimin hasn't moved. She's watching you with wary eyes, arms wrapped around herself.
"On second thought," you say, walking toward her again, "I'd like to leave. I really would. But all that social ethics and empathy that one person is supposed to have for another is making it difficult."
"I'm fine. Really. You can go."
You stop a few feet away from the bench. Study her face in the dim light. The swollen eyes, the blotchy skin, the way her lower lip trembles even as she tries to set her jaw.
"You don't look fine."
You sit down on the opposite end of the bench, leaving a solid three feet of space between you. The wood is cold through your slacks. You settle back, stretch your legs out, and stare at the river instead of her.
"If you want to talk about it," you say, "you can. I'll listen." You give her your name. She doesn’t give you hers. Whatever. You already know it.
"I'm not going to open up to a stranger."
"That's fair." You nod. "I wouldn't either. Strangers are terrible. Half of them are serial killers or… you know." Silence. The river laps against the concrete embankment. "I'll just sit here for a while," you continue. "Until you're feeling better. And, you know." You pause. "Stop you from jumping in the river."
"What? I’d never do that.”
"Great." You shrug. "Saves me the trouble. I can't swim."
Another pause. You're not looking at her, but you can feel her gaze on the side of your face, trying to figure you out. Trying to decide if you're making fun of her or genuinely this weird. You open the bag of chips. You pop one in your mouth, chew slowly, then tilt the bag in her direction.
"Want some?"
Jimin stares at the offering like it might be poisoned. Her eyes flick to your face, then back to the chips. She reaches out. Takes one. Eats it.
"These are my favorite," she says quietly.
"I know."
"How... How do you know that?"
You chew another chip. Swallow. "I know who you are. Everyone does. You're kind of famous."
She exhales, then murmurs: "Fuck."
"Yeah."
"You're a fan."
"I own an album or two. Doesn't mean anything. I'm not going to ask for a photo or an autograph or whatever. I'm not going to tell anyone I saw you here." You pause. "Crying alone at one in the morning isn't exactly the image SM wants to project, I'm guessing."
Jimin doesn't respond. She's staring at the river now, the same way you were a moment ago. The water is black and glittering under the scattered lights of the city. "Why are you being nice to me?" she asks finally.
You consider the question. Think about the boardroom meeting from hell, the investors pulling out, the whispered conversations that stop when you enter a room. Think about your throbbing knuckles and your empty apartment and the fact that you came here tonight because you didn't know where else to go.
"I'm not being nice," you say. "I'm being a basic human being." You hold out the bag again. She takes another chip.
"What happened to your hand?" Jimin's question catches you off guard. You'd almost forgotten about it. The throbbing has faded to a dull ache. You glance down at the bandages wrapped around your knuckles, the gauze is already slightly grimy from the evening's adventures.
"This?" You hold it up. "Got into a fight. Some guys. You know how it is." She raises an eyebrow. "Happens all the time," you continue, keeping your face perfectly straight. "You should've seen the other guys. Absolutely wrecked. One of them's probably still in the hospital."
"You don't seem like the type to get into a fight."
"Excuse me?"
"Or to win one."
You press your unbandaged hand to your chest and say, incredibly offended: "That's so rude. I'm very intimidating. You clearly don't know my reputation; I've beaten up half the guys in this city. "
"Uh huh."
"I do."
"Sure."
You hold the pose for another beat, then let it drop. Shrug. "Okay, you've got good eyes. I punched a mirror."
"A mirror?"
"In my office. Full-length. Extremely expensive. Had this whole elegant frame, imported from somewhere in Europe." You flex your fingers experimentally, wince slightly. "It won."
"Why would you punch a mirror?"
"Because the wall was too far away."
Before you can react, Jimin reaches over and takes your hand. Her fingers are cold against your skin as she turns your wrist, examining the bandages with a frown. The touch is clinical, careful, but it still sends something strange through your body.
"Don't do that again," she says. "You could have been seriously hurt. This needs to be rewrapped. Did you even clean it properly?"
"A doctor looked at it."
"A real doctor?"
"The emergency room kind. With a degree and everything."
She lets go of your hand. "I'm serious. That was stupid."
You tuck your hand back in your lap. "Sorry, If I'd known Yu Jimin would be upset about it, I wouldn't have done it."
Jimin's nose scrunches. It's subtle, but you catch it. "That's a weird thing to say to someone you just met."
"I'm a weird person. Ask anyone."
She doesn't respond to that. Instead, she reaches for the chip bag still sitting between you, pulls out another handful, and chews slowly. The crunch is the only sound for a long moment. "Why did you do it?" she asks. "The mirror thing. Were you drunk?"
"Stone cold sober." You lean back against the bench, tilt your head toward the sky. The stars are invisible here. Too much light pollution. Just a flat expanse of urban grey. At the lake house, there are probably stars in the sky. "I was angry."
"At what?"
"Everything. My life is crumbling right in front of me and there's nothing I can do about it. I just have to sit there and watch it fall apart, piece by piece, while everyone stands around waiting for me to fix it." You pause. "The worst part is that it's my fault. All of it. Every single thing that's going wrong right now is because of decisions I made."
Jimin is quiet. Listening.
"Now everyone hates me," you continue. "My investors. My board. My employees, probably. They all look at me like I'm some kind of idiot child who got lucky once and has been failing upward ever since." You give a quiet, self-deprecating laugh. "Maybe they're right."
"What happened?" Jimin asks. "With your company?"
You think about how much to tell her, how much you even want to say out loud. But between the darkness, the late hour, and how ridiculous this whole situation is, this bench and Jimin seem very much like a safe space.
"I made a bet," you say. "A big one. Moved a lot of money into a position that I was sure would pay off. Everyone told me it was risky. Everyone told me to hedge, to be careful, to think about the downside. And I told them they were being cowards." You close your eyes. "I was wrong. The position collapsed. We lost... a lot. More than I want to think about. And now the investors are pulling out, the board wants my head, and the company I built is probably going to be sold off to some private equity firm that'll gut it for parts."
"That sounds..."
"Pathetic? Yeah."
"I was going to say overwhelming."
You open your eyes. Look at her. "Same thing, in my experience."
Jimin pulls her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. "Do you feel powerless?"
"Every second of every day lately."
She nods slowly. "Me too," she says quietly.
You turn to face her more fully. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Then I guess we have a lot in common. Karina and I, united by a shared feeling. Who would have thought, huh?”
A breeze picks up, carrying the smell of water and city and approaching rain. You watch Jimin shiver, then you shrug out of your blazer. It's rumpled, probably smells like stress sweat, but it's wool and it's warm.
"Here."
She looks at the offered jacket, then at you. "No, I'm fine."
"You're shaking."
"It's not that cold."
"Your lips are turning blue."
"They are not."
"Just take it." You hold it out further. "I'm not being polite. I'm being practical. If you get hypothermia out here, I'm the one who has to deal with it, and I really don't want to explain to the paramedics why I was hanging out with an idol at one in the morning."
Jimin hesitates. Then, slowly, she takes the blazer. Drapes it over her shoulders. It swallows her, the sleeves hanging past her hands, the hem nearly reaching her thighs.
"It fits you perfectly," you say.
She looks down at herself. A ghost of something that might be amusement crosses her face. She pulls the blazer tighter around herself and asks: "Are you scared?"
You take a moment before answering. "Yes."
"Of what?"
"Losing everything. Proving everyone right about me. Finding out that I really am just a lucky idiot who got in over his head." You pick at the edge of your bandage. "Waking up one day and realizing I wasted my entire life chasing something that was never going to work out." Jimin nods. Like she understands. Like she knows exactly what that fear tastes like. "What about you?" you ask. "What are you afraid of?"
"Getting lost," she replies. "Not knowing who I am anymore." She presses her forehead to her knees. "I've been doing this for so long. Being Karina. Being what everyone wants me to be. And somewhere along the way, I think I forgot who I was before all of it. Who I am underneath. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and can’t see myself. A body with no face.” You don't say anything. You just listen. "I don't know who I really am," she continues. "And I don’t know how to figure it out."
"I had a girlfriend in college," you say after a moment. "She was really into esoteric stuff. Crystals, tarot cards, meditation retreats. The whole thing. She used to say that when you think too much, your mind separates from your body. Like it just... drifts away. Floats off somewhere and leaves the rest of you behind." You wave your uninjured hand. "She said the key was recalibration. Bringing your mind back to your body. Grounding yourself in the physical."
"How do you do that?"
You shrug. "No idea. We broke up before I figured that part out." Jimin lets out a breath. It's almost a laugh. "But you'll figure it out," you add. "Eventually. You seem smart."
"You don't know me."
"I know you have good taste in chips. That's something."
You stand up. Your body protests, joints stiff from the cold, but you ignore it. You grab the bag of chips (still half full) and hold it out to her. "Here. Take the rest."
She looks up at you. "I can't take your chips."
"Consider it a gift. From one pathetic person crying in a park to another."
Jimin takes the bag, holds it in her lap.
"My company," you say, "is in the Yeouido financial district. The building with the copper spire that's shaped like a twisted flame. You can't miss it. Only building in Seoul that looks like it's actively on fire." You pause. "My office is on the top floor. If you ever want to talk. Or just sit somewhere warm and eat snacks in silence. Whatever. Just show up."
She stares at you. "You're inviting me to your office?"
"Yeah. Is that weird? I feel like I lost my social instincts a while back."
"Why?"
"Because I have a lot of snacks up there, and no one to share them with." You start backing away, keeping your eyes on her. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Jimin-ssi. Genuinely. Even under the circumstances."
She doesn't respond. Just watches you, the blazer still wrapped around her shoulders, your chips still clutched in her hands.
"And maybe stop going out alone in the middle of the night," you add. "It's not safe. There are weirdos everywhere. Present company included." You take a few more steps backward. Almost trip on a crack in the pavement. Recover with what you hope is dignity. "One more thing."
Jimin tilts her head.
"You're my favorite in aespa," you say. "Always have been. Total diva."
And there it is. Finally. The corner of her mouth twitches, then lifts, and she smiles. It’s small, tired, still a little broken, but it’s there. Real.
“Thank you,” she says.
You turn and walk away before you can say another stupid thing. At least tonight, you’ll go to sleep knowing you made Karina from aespa crack a small smile.
—
It's a hallway big enough for everyone, but they insist on staying close to you. Your chief financial officer walks on your left, rattling off numbers that stopped meaning anything to you three days ago. Your head of operations flanks your right as he lists every reason why this trip is a terrible idea. Behind you, your assistant struggles to keep up while she reminds you about the seventeen emails you haven't answered.
You? Well, you’re starting to get pissed about the lack of personal space.
"You can't just leave," the CFO says. "There's too much happening here. The quarterly reports need your signature by Friday, and the auditors are asking questions about the Singapore accounts."
"I'm taking my MacBook." You don't slow down. "I can do everything remotely. That's the whole point of technology."
"With respect, sir, you said that last time and then you disappeared for three days without answering a single call."
"It won't happen again. You have my word."
Your operations head cuts in. "The meeting will also be on Friday. The board meeting. You need to be there. Everything is at stake. They're going to vote on whether to accept the acquisition offer, and if you're not present to argue against it, they'll sell us off without a second thought."
"I'll be there." You reach the elevator bay and press the button. "I'll be back on Friday morning. I'll sit in that room and I'll argue until I'm blue in the face. But right now, today, I'm getting on a plane."
"Sir, please, we need to discuss the restructuring proposal. The legal team has concerns about the liability clauses, and the PR department wants to schedule a press conference to address the investor concerns, and there's the matter of the pension fund adjustments that require your direct approval, and honestly we're all very worried about your mental state given recent events and we think perhaps you should speak to someone, a professional, someone who can help you process what's happening because this level of avoidance behavior is concerning and we care about you as a person not just as our employer and—"
The elevator doors open and there she is: Seol Yoon-a. Standing dead center like she's posing for a photoshoot. Her hair's down, these perfect brown waves past her shoulders, so glossy that makes you wonder if it's even real. Angular face, delicate features, coral pink lipstick. She's tall. Taller than you right now, but it's because of the high heels. The short blue dress is definitely designer, you can tell just by looking at it. And she's holding her dog. A tiny white Pomeranian with a rhinestone collar, cradled in her arms like it's a purse.
She looks absolutely furious.
"I have been trying to reach you all morning," she says. "All. Morning. I called seven times. Seven. I texted you fourteen messages. I even tried emailing."
You step into the elevator. The doors close behind you, sealing you in with her and the world's most judgmental Pomeranian.
"I was in meetings."
"You were avoiding me."
"Those aren't mutually exclusive."
"You've been so irresponsible lately," she continues. "Missing dinners. Canceling plans. Last week you forgot we were supposed to go to that gallery opening, and I had to show up alone like some kind of abandoned housewife."
"My company is on the verge of collapse." You watch the floor numbers tick upward. "I think I've earned the right to be a little irresponsible."
"That's not an excuse."
"It's literally the definition of an excuse. A reason for not doing something. My reason is corporate bankruptcy."
She huffs. The Pomeranian huffs with her. You wonder if she trained it to do that or if it just absorbed her personality through proximity.
"What about dinner tonight?" she demands. "With my parents? They've been wanting to meet you for months now, and I finally convinced them to fly in from Busan, and the reservation at that restaurant took three weeks to get, and my father is very particular about punctuality, and my mother is going to ask me why you're not there, and what am I supposed to tell her? That my boyfriend is too busy having a crisis to show basic courtesy?"
"We've already talked about this: I'm not your boyfriend,” you remind Yoon-a and see her face deflate right before your eyes. You exhale and add: “Yet. I’m not your boyfriend… yet. And I can't do that right now. I have too much going on. Your parents will have to wait."
"You always say that. You always have some excuse. I'm starting to think you don't even like me anymore."
You exhale slowly. Count to three. Try to find the diplomatic answer, the gentle deflection, the words that will smooth this over without actually addressing the underlying issue.
"I like you," you say. "But sometimes you can be a little... clingy."
Yoon-a's eyes go wide. Her mouth drops open. The Pomeranian actually stops yapping, like even it knows you've crossed a line.
"Clingy?" She repeats, completely horrified, like it’s the most offensive thing a guy could ever say to a girl. "You think I'm clingy?"
"I said a little."
"How could you say that?" She clutches the dog closer, and her outrage reaches a fever pitch. "How could you say that in front of our son?"
Your eyes sweep over the tiny fluffball, unimpressed, before flicking to her. "Pretty sure our son doesn’t shed this much.”
"Excuse me?"
"That dog isn't our son. You've had him for four years. We've been together for eight months. The math doesn't work."
Yoon-a literally gasps. Like you've said something unforgivable. She claps one hand over the Pomeranian's ear, pressing his fluffy head against her chest.
"Don't listen to him, baby," she coos. "He doesn't mean it. He's just having one of his moods."
"I'm not having a mood. I'm stating a fact."
The elevator dings. The doors open onto the ground floor lobby. Yoon-a steps out. Turns to face you. Her eyes are glistening (whether from genuine hurt or theatrical effect, you can't tell.)
“If you’re gonna be petty and take your frustration out on our innocent kid, then we’re done," she announces. "It's over. Don't look for me again. Don't call me. Don't text me. Don't even think about me." She spins on her heel and strides away.
"Yoon-a." You step out of the elevator, follow her a few paces. "Yoon-a, wait. We should talk about this."
She doesn't turn around. Doesn't slow down. Just keeps walking. You stand there for a moment. Processing. Then you shake your head and keep walking.
You're maybe twenty steps from the main exit when someone intercepts you. A young woman from the front desk. "Sir? I'm sorry to bother you, but there's someone here who wants to speak with you."
"I cancelled all my appointments today."
"I know, sir, but she was very insistent, and she's been waiting for almost an hour, and she said you'd want to see her."
You frown. "Who is it?"
The receptionist hesitates. Glances over her shoulder toward the lobby seating area. "She says her name is Yu Jimin. Karina. From… aespa.” You stop walking.
It's been two weeks since that night by the river. Two weeks since you sat on a bench with Yu Jimin and shared chips and talked about falling apart. Two weeks since you gave her your blazer and told her where to find you and walked away thinking that was probably the last time you'd ever see her. You'd convinced yourself she wouldn't come. Why would she? You're a stranger. A random guy she met while crying in a park. The invitation was impulsive, probably inappropriate, definitely weird. Any sensible person would have thrown your blazer in the trash and forgotten the whole thing.
And yet.
"Where?" you ask. The receptionist points toward the seating area near the windows. And there she is: Jimin sits on one of the low leather couches, her posture slightly hunched, her hands folded in her lap. She's wearing a baseball cap pulled low and a face mask that covers half her features, the standard idol disguise that fools absolutely no one. On the couch beside her sits Yoon-a.
Oh no.
You move closer, and fragments of conversation reach you: "Are you Karina?" Yoon-a is asking, leaning in with that curiosity she gets when she thinks she's discovered something interesting. "From aespa? You look exactly like her."
"No." Jimin's reply is quiet, muffled by the mask. "I get that a lot, though."
"The resemblance is insane. Like, identical. Are you sure you're not her?"
"I'm sure."
Yoon-a tilts her head, studies Jimin for another moment, then seems to accept the answer. "Well, whoever you are, your hair is gorgeous. What products do you use?"
"Um. Thank you. I don't really—"
"Anyway, I have to go. My ex-boyfriend is being dramatic and I need to go post something on Instagram that will make him jealous." Yoon-a stands, adjusts the Pomeranian in her arms, and sweeps away without a backward glance.
Jimin watches her go with visible relief. Then she sees you. She stands quickly, pulling down her mask. Her face is bare of makeup, her hair tucked under the cap. "Hi," she says.
"Hi." A beat of silence. The lobby hums around you, people coming and going, phones ringing, the distant chime of elevators. "I thought I’d never see you again," you say. "Honestly. I thought you'd written me off as some weirdo who talks to crying strangers."
"You are a weirdo who talks to crying strangers."
"Fair point."
She shifts her weight, uncertain. "Is this a bad time? I should have called first. I didn't have your number, so I just showed up, which is probably weird, I know, I can leave if you're busy—"
"Any time is a bad time right now." You shrug. "My entire life is a bad time. So it doesn't really matter."
That seems to relax her slightly. She reaches into the bag slung over her shoulder and pulls out something familiar. Your blazer, folded neatly. "I came to return this," she says. "And also... I don't know. I've been thinking about that conversation we had. About you. About everything you said." She pauses, searching for words. "I thought it might be nice to see you again. If that's okay."
You take the blazer from her hands. The fabric still smells faintly of her perfume. "It's okay," you say.
Her gaze drops to the overnight bag slung over your shoulder, the coat draped over your arm. "Are you going somewhere?"
"Yeah. I'm..." You hesitate. "I'm taking a trip. Getting out of the city for a few days. Clear my head."
"Oh.” Her eyes flick down for a moment. “Then I should let you go. I didn't mean to interrupt your plans."
You should probably just let her go. Say goodbye, wish her well, catch your flight solo like you'd originally planned. Be a normal, sensible person about this. That's what you're supposed to do here. That's the appropriate move.
But you're looking at her standing there, and you're thinking about two weeks of radio silence. You're thinking about how she smiled at you that night. Just once. Just barely. But she did. "Come with me," you say.
"What?"
"Come with me. On the trip."
"I—what? I can't just—you're not serious."
"I'm going to my family's lake house. A few hours outside the city. I'll be the only one there. Totally empty. Totally quiet." You pause. "Company would be nice. If you want."
She stares at you like you've lost your mind. Which, to be fair, you might have. "Don't you have a girlfriend or something?" she asks.
"The girl who was talking to you a minute ago, she was almost my girlfriend. Emphasis on was and almost." You sigh. "Pretty sure I ruined that. Again. It's becoming a pattern."
"She was beautiful."
"Yeah. In another universe, she's probably an idol. Could give you a run for your money." You tilt your head, considering. "In this universe, she's just a kind of ditzy rich girl. Good heart, though. Deep down." Jimin doesn't seem to know how to respond to that. "The offer stands," you continue. "Private jet. Lake house. Fresh air. It might be my last trip on that plane, actually. I'll probably have to sell it soon to cover some debts. Might as well enjoy it while I can."
"I'm not ready," she says. "I don't have a suitcase. I don't have clothes. I didn't plan for this."
You check your watch. "You have an hour and a half. Go home, pack a bag, get your documents and meet me at Gimpo airfield. I'll text you the details."
"This is insane. I shouldn't be traveling alone with someone I barely know."
"Definitely not. Objectively, this is one of the stupidest things anyone could do."
She crosses her arms. Narrows her eyes at you. "How do I know you're not going to murder me or something?"
"I don't like blood." You hold up your hand, showing her the healing scars across your knuckles. "When I punched that mirror and saw it bleeding, I almost passed out. Had to sit down for ten minutes. My secretary had to bring me juice."
Her expression softens slightly. "How is it? Your hand?"
"Better. See? All healed up. No lasting damage."
"Good."
"So no murders," you say. "I'd honestly prefer to keep all your blood and organs exactly where they are. Inside your body. Where they belong."
Jimin just looks at you. For a while. Long enough that you're starting to wonder if she heard you correctly. She's clearly thinking it over. You can see it on her face. The mental math she's doing: how bad could this go versus how bad is everything already? Scary unknown versus scary known. Taking a chance versus playing it safe. "Okay," she says finally. "I'll come."
You grin. "It's going to be great," you tell her. "Sun. Water. Peace and quiet. You should bring a bikini.”
"A bikini."
"For swimming. In the lake. It's very refreshing."
"Uh huh... You realize you sound completely deranged right now, right? 'Come to my isolated lake house, strange woman I met while she was crying. Bring a bikini.'"
"When you say it like that—"
"How else should I say it?"
"More... optimistically?"
She laughs. "You're crazy. Like, genuinely crazy. I should probably run."
"But you're not going to."
"No," she admits. "I'm apparently just as crazy as you are."
—
By the time you and Jimin make it from the car to the front door, you're both soaked from the knees down despite your best efforts. The wind keeps changing direction, driving sheets of water sideways, and the umbrella is basically decorative at this point. You fumble with the keys. Drop them once. Curse under your breath. Finally get the door open and practically shove Jimin inside before following her, slamming the door shut against the storm.
The house is dark. Quiet. You find the light switch and the entryway floods with warm yellow glow, illuminating hardwood floors and cream-colored walls and the faint layer of dust on the decorative table by the door. Jimin sets two small suitcases in the corner. You drop your bag beside it. Water drips from both of you, pooling on the floor.
"So," you say, before she can say anything. "Yeah. I know. I said there would be sun. I specifically mentioned sun. And a lake. And bikinis." She looks at you. Doesn't say anything. Just looks. "This is climate change," you continue, gesturing at the windows where rain lashes against the glass. "The weather's completely unpredictable now. Changes overnight. There's literally no way I could have known this was going to happen. It was sunny when we left Seoul." Still nothing. Just that steady gaze. "But hey." You move further into the house, hitting more light switches as you go. "At least the power works. See? Fully functional. Lights, electricity, the whole deal. Modern amenities."
To prove your point, you grab the remote from the coffee table and turn on the television mounted above the fireplace. The screen flickers to life, and a news anchor's face fills the frame. "—unprecedented storm system that meteorologists have been tracking for weeks now," the anchor is saying. "Residents in the affected areas have been advised to stay indoors and avoid unnecessary travel. The storm is expected to continue through the weekend, with rainfall totals potentially reaching—"
You become very aware of Jimin standing behind you. "Okay." You clear your throat. "So apparently they have been talking about this. For weeks. Allegedly."
"Allegedly."
"I don't watch the news. Who watches the news anymore? It's all doom and gloom. Very bad for mental health." You turn to face her, attempting something like an apologetic expression. "I'm sorry. You must be upset."
Jimin shrugs. Pulls off her damp jacket and drapes it over the back of a chair. "It's fine."
"It's not fine. I promised you sun and delivered a monsoon."
"I wasn't really in the mood for sun anyway." She looks around the living room, taking in the leather couches, the stone fireplace, the floor-to-ceiling windows that currently showcase nothing but grey sheets of rain. "This is better, actually."
"See?" You point at her triumphantly. "I manage to get things right even when I completely screw up. It's a gift."
"—still no word on the whereabouts of Yu Jimin, known professionally as Karina of the K-pop group aespa. The idol, who mysteriously disappeared earlier this week, has not been seen publicly since—" You watch Jimin's expression freeze. "—sources close to the group suggest she may be traveling alone, though her exact location remains unknown. Fans and media alike have expressed growing concern following her abrupt departure from the group's final tour concert last month. SM Entertainment has declined to comment on the situation, releasing only a brief statement asking for privacy during this difficult time—"
You turn off the TV. "Did you tell anyone where you were going?" you ask.
Jimin moves to the window. Stares out at the storm. "I told them I was traveling. That I was fine. That I needed some time."
"But not where."
"No. Not where."
"People are going to be worried. Your members. Your family."
"I know." Her breath fogs the glass. "But it's better this way. If they knew where I was, they'd come. They'd try to help. And I can't... I don't want that right now.” You don't push. Don't ask why. "So." Jimin turns away from the window. "What are we going to do here?"
You scratch the back of your neck. "Honestly? I have no idea."
"You didn't plan anything?"
"The whole trip was impulsive. I wasn't thinking past 'get out of Seoul before I lose my mind.' And now..." You gesture at the rain. "There's not much we can do in this weather anyway."
Another silence. You both avoid looking directly at each other, which is ridiculous, because you're adults and this is just a house and there's nothing weird about any of this except for the part where everything about this is incredibly weird. You're a businessman on the verge of bankruptcy. She's a global pop star who just disappeared from the public eye. You're standing in your family's lake house in the middle of nowhere while a storm rages outside, and neither of you has any idea what you're doing here.
"Do you want to see the lake?" you ask suddenly.
"In this?"
"There should be raincoats somewhere. My family used to keep outdoor stuff in the mudroom." You pause. "But first, let me show you the house. So you know where everything is." She nods. Follows you as you move through the ground floor.
The lake house is two stories of weathered wood and large windows. The ground floor is mostly open plan, the living area flowing into a kitchen that hasn't been updated since the early 2000s but still works fine. A dining table that seats eight people who no longer gather here. A fireplace that you should probably light later, assuming you remember how. Sliding glass doors that lead to a deck overlooking the water, currently being pelted by rain so hard you can barely see the lake beyond. You flip on lights as you go, chasing away the gloom. "This is all very nice," Jimin observes, running her fingers along the edge of the kitchen island. "Your family has money." She opens the refrigerator. Stares at the contents. "There's food in here."
"Yeah, I called ahead. There's a company that does this, stocks up vacation homes before people arrive. Groceries, supplies, fresh linens. Very convenient when you're rich." You lean against the counter. "Or when you used to be rich..."
"That's very... prepared of you."
"I have my moments."
She closes the refrigerator and you continue the tour, showing her the small bathroom off the hallway, the laundry room with its industrial-sized washer and dryer, the study lined with bookshelves that your father never actually read.
The stairs creak as you climb to the second floor. The sound is familiar. Kind of comforting, in a strange way. "Master bedroom is at the end of the hall," you say, pointing. "That one's mine when I'm here. There are two guest rooms. This one—" You open a door on the left. "Has the better view."
Jimin steps inside. The room is simple but comfortable. Queen-sized bed with a white duvet, wooden dresser, soft carpet underfoot. But the window takes up most of the far wall, and even through the rain, you can see the lake stretching out beyond the property line, grey water merging with grey sky. "It's beautiful," she says softly. "Even with the storm."
"Yeah." You lean against the doorframe, watching her watch the view. "It's a peaceful place. Was, anyway."
"Was?"
"My family's been thinking about selling it. The whole area used to be full of families who came for the summers. Kids running around, barbecues on the weekends, boats on the lake. But over the last few years..." You shrug. "People started leaving. Selling their houses. The economy changed, people's priorities changed. Now half the homes around here are empty. The ones that aren't belong to people who only show up once or twice a year."
Jimin turns from the window. "That's sad."
"It is what it is." You examine a scratch on the doorframe, remembering when you put it there. You were twelve. A hockey stick. Your mother had been furious. "I told my father I'd buy the place myself if he tried to sell. He laughed at me. Said I was being sentimental."
"Were you?"
"Probably. But I don't care." You look around the room, at the walls that have witnessed more of your life than most people. "My family stopped coming here years ago. Now it's just... a graveyard of memories, I guess. A place where ghosts of who we used to be hang out."
"That sounds lonely."
"It is. But it's also one of the few places where I can pretend my problems can't reach me." You meet her eyes. "It's not true, obviously. They're still there. Waiting. But here, I can ignore them for a while. Act like they don't exist."
Jimin is quiet for a moment. Processing. "Then we'll pretend together," she says. "Both of us. For however long we're here. No problems. No expectations. No outside world."
You smile. Actually smile, not the sarcastic smirk you usually default to, but something genuine.
"Yeah," you say. "That sounds like a good plan. Come on, let's grab our raincoats.”
The raincoat is bright yellow and two sizes too big, clearly designed for someone with broader shoulders and longer arms than you possess. The sleeves hang past your wrists and the hood keeps slipping forward into your eyes. Jimin's raincoat is green, equally oversized, and she looks like she's being slowly consumed by a plastic tarp. Neither of you comments on how ridiculous you both look.
The wind hits you the moment you step off the porch, sharp and wet and insistent, pushing against your chest. You shove your hands into the raincoat's pockets and start walking, and Jimin falls into step beside you without a word. The path to the lake is overgrown. Weeds push through the gravel, and the bushes on either side have grown wild. Your family used to keep this place immaculate. Hired groundskeepers, regular maintenance, the whole thing. Now it's slowly returning to nature, one missed appointment at a time.
Rain drums against your hood in a constant, rhythmic patter. Your sneakers (you'd changed out of the dress shoes, thankfully) squelch in the mud. The air smells like wet earth and pine. You don't talk. Neither does Jimin. The trees thin out and suddenly the lake is in front of you, stretching gray and vast and choppy under the assault of the storm. Waves roll across the surface, small but persistent, breaking against the rocky shore with soft, repetitive sounds. The far side of the lake is barely visible through the rain, just a smudge of green that might be forest.Jimin stops at the edge of the water. Stands there. Watches.
You watch her watch the lake for a moment, then your attention drifts downward. Stones. The shoreline is littered with them. You bend down, pick one up, test its weight in your palm. Your arm snaps forward. The stone hits the surface at an angle and skips once, twice, three times before sinking.
"Not bad," you mutter to yourself. You find another stone. Skip it. This one gets four jumps before disappearing. Jimin still hasn't moved.
"What's your favorite memory of this place?" You pause mid-throw, stone in hand, and actually think about it.
"Fishing," you say finally. "With my grandfather."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." You let the stone fly. Three skips. "He used to take me out on this little rowboat he kept tied up by the dock. Every summer, without fail. We'd go out early in the morning, before anyone else was awake, and just sit there on the water with our lines in."
Jimin turns to look at you. The rain runs down her face, dripping off her chin, but she doesn't to care. "Did you catch anything?"
"Never." You laugh. "Not once. My grandfather said the fish in this lake were too smart for us. I think he just didn't know what he was doing, honestly. But it didn't matter. We'd sit there for hours anyway, talking about nothing, watching the sun come up. He'd tell me stories about when he was young. I'd complain about school. It was nice."
"That sounds nice."
"It was." You find another stone. Don't throw it. Just turn it over in your fingers, feeling the smooth surface. "I've never fished since he died. Haven't been on that boat either. I don't even know if it's still there."
"You should check."
"Maybe."
Jimin is quiet for a moment. Then: "I've never been fishing."
"No?"
"No. I grew up in the city. The closest I ever got to nature was the park near my apartment, and that was just grass and pigeons."
"You should try it sometime. Fishing, I mean. It's boring as hell, but in a good way."
"Would you teach me?"
You laugh again. "I would, but I don't actually know how. My grandfather died before he finished teaching me everything." You pause. Shrug. "At least I know how to bait a hook. That's something."
"I'm sorry," Jimin says softly. "About your grandfather."
"It's okay. It was a long time ago." You throw the stone. It skips five times. Your best one yet. "He was old. Sick. It was expected. Doesn't mean it didn't suck, but... you know. Life." Jimin nods. Doesn't offer any platitudes, any empty comforts. Just accepts the statement for what it is. You throw a few more stones. The rain keeps falling. The lake keeps churning. "How are you feeling?" you ask eventually. "Inside, I mean. Not just the wet and cold part."
Jimin doesn't answer immediately. She wraps her arms around herself and stares out at the water. "Tired," she says. "Really tired. Which doesn't make sense, because I'm not doing anything. I haven't been doing anything for weeks. But I wake up exhausted and I go to bed exhausted and the sleep in between doesn't help."
"Are you sleeping?"
"Not well. A few hours here and there. My brain won't shut up." She kicks at a stone near her foot, sending it tumbling into the water with a plop. "It's like there's this constant noise in my head. Thoughts that won't stop. Worries that won't go away. And the more I try to quiet them, the louder they get."
"Yeah," you say. "I know what that's like."
"At the same time..." She trails off. Takes a breath. "At the same time, I feel like I want to scream. Just open my mouth and let everything out. All the frustration and the fear and the anger and whatever else is stuck inside me. I want to scream until my throat is raw and my lungs are empty and there's nothing left."
You pick up another stone. Hold it. Don't throw. "So scream," you say.
Jimin looks at you. “What do you mean?"
"Scream. If you want to scream, scream."
"I can't just... scream. In the middle of nowhere. That's crazy."
"Why not? There's no one here to hear you. Just me, and I don't care." You gesture at the lake, at the rain, at the empty expanse of wilderness surrounding you. "This is literally the perfect place to scream. No neighbors. No fans. No cameras. Just water and trees and a storm that's loud enough to drown out anything." She's looking at you like she's trying to figure out if you're serious. You get that look a lot. "I want to scream too," you admit. "I've wanted to scream for weeks. Maybe months. Maybe years, honestly. There's a lot of stuff in here—" you tap your chest "—that needs to come out. And I figure if I'm going to do it, might as well do it now. Might as well do it here." Jimin still looks uncertain. Skeptical.
So you turn toward the lake. Plant your feet. Fill your lungs with wet, cold air. And you scream. It's not a word. Not a name. Not anything coherent. Just sound, raw and loud, ripping out of your throat and hurling itself across the water. You scream until your lungs are empty, until your voice cracks, until the sound dissolves into the rain and the wind and the endless grey. Then you stop. Breathe. Your throat burns slightly.
Jimin is staring at you with wide eyes. "Your turn," you say.
She hesitates. Looks at the lake. Looks back at you. Then she screams.
It starts small, tentative, like she's testing the waters. But then something breaks loose inside her, something that's been building for god knows how long, and the scream grows. It gets louder, longer, more desperate. Her whole body tenses with the effort of it, hands clenched into fists at her sides, face tilted toward the sky. She screams like she's trying to empty herself out. Like she's trying to purge every bad thought, every fear, every moment of doubt and pain and exhaustion that's been weighing her down.
When she finally stops, she's breathing hard. Her eyes are wet, and you can't tell if it's rain or tears. "That was great," you say. "Really solid scream. Eight out of ten."
She lets out a shaky laugh. "Only eight?"
"Room for improvement. Here, let's do it together. On three."
"This is ridiculous."
"One."
"I'm not doing this."
"Two."
"You're insane."
"Three." You both scream. Together. Two voices rising over the lake, tangling with the wind and the rain, filling the empty space with something loud and alive. You scream until you can't anymore, until you're both bent over with your hands on your knees, gasping for air, throats raw. Jimin starts laughing. It's a small sound at first, barely audible over the storm, but it grows. She laughs until she's clutching her stomach, until she has to sit down on a wet rock because her legs won't hold her anymore.
You sit down next to her. Don't say anything. Just let her laugh. Eventually, she calms down. Wipes her face with the back of her hand, which doesn't help because her hand is just as wet as her face.
"How do you feel?" you ask.
"A little better," she admits. "Not fixed. But... lighter, maybe.”
"That's the magic of screaming into the void," you say. "I should start charging for this."
Jimin snorts. "Please don't."
"Fine. Free screaming sessions for you. Special discount." You stand up. Offer her your hand. "Come on," you say. "Let's walk around the lake. The path goes all the way around if you follow it. Takes about an hour." She takes your hand. Lets you pull her to her feet. Doesn't let go immediately, and neither do you.
"An hour in this rain?" she asks.
"We're already soaked. Can't get any wetter."
"That's not technically true."
"Are you always this pedantic?"
"Are you always this impulsive?"
"Yes," you say. "You better get used to it.” You start walking. She falls into step beside you, close enough that your shoulders almost brush. The rain keeps falling. The wind keeps blowing. Neither of you talks much. Just walks. Breathes. Exists in the same space.
The path curves around the eastern edge of the lake, narrowing where the trees press closer, their branches heavy with rain. Your sneakers make obscene squelching sounds with every step, and you've given up trying to keep your socks dry. That battle was lost about twenty minutes ago. "Have you thought about what you'll do?" Jimin asks suddenly. "If things don't work out?"
You glance at her. "What do you mean?"
"I mean..." She hesitates. Kicks at a pebble on the path. "I know it's going to work out. Everything will be fine. But hypothetically. If it doesn't. Have you thought about it?" She pauses again. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to."
You consider deflecting. Making a joke. Changing the subject. That's what you usually do when conversations get too close to the things you don't want to look at. But you don’t.
"There's a very good chance I'm going to end up completely screwed," you say. "Like, financially devastated. Career over. Reputation destroyed. The whole thing. I still have my family, technically. My father would probably let me crawl back. He'd love that, actually. His disappointing son finally admitting defeat. Finally proving that he was right all along, that I was too young, too arrogant, too stupid to run a company… That's the worst part, honestly. Not the money. Not the failure. The thought of looking him in the eye and seeing that smug expression. That 'I told you so' face he's been waiting years to make."
"Would you go back? To your family?"
"I don't know. Maybe. Probably." You shrug. "Or maybe I'd just do what rich guys who lose everything always do in this situation." Jimin's head snaps toward you. Her eyes narrow. "I'm kidding," you say quickly. "That was a joke. Dark humor. Bad timing." She keeps staring at you. "Mostly kidding," you murmur under your breath.
"That's not funny."
"I know. Sorry." You clear your throat. "Okay, real answer. Plan B. If everything falls apart and I can't face my father and I don't want to do anything... dramatic. I move into this house permanently. Live off the land. Become one with nature."
Jimin's expression shifts from concern to skepticism. "You?"
"Me."
"Living off nature?"
"Why not?"
"You don't seem like the type who could survive out here for more than a week. You probably don't even know how to start a fire without a lighter."
"I absolutely do. I watched a YouTube video once. Have you seen that movie? Into the Wild? About a guy who gives up everything and goes to live in the wilderness. That could be me. I'm basically the same. Trust fund baby, disillusioned with society, seeking meaning in the natural world."
"Didn't he die at the end?"
"Yeah, but that's not the point."
Jimin snorts. "I think that's exactly the point."
"The point is that I would adapt. I'm very adaptable. Give me a few months out here and I'd be hunting my own food, building my own shelter, communing with the wildlife." You gesture grandly at the surrounding forest. "In a few years, I'd be able to take on a bear. Hand-to-hand combat. Mano a mano."
"You'd be mincemeat," Jimin says flatly. "A bear would destroy you in about three seconds."
"Three seconds is a bit of an exaggeration."
"It's realistic. You'd see a bear up close and you'd wet your pants before it even touched you."
"Excuse me?” Resting your palm over your heart, you arch an offended brow. “You clearly don't know who you're talking to. I'm incredibly brave. Fearless, even. Ask anyone."
"I'm asking you, and you're lying."
"I am not lying. I have faced many dangerous situations in my life and emerged victorious every single time."
Jimin rolls her eyes. "Name one."
"I once killed a spider in my apartment that was the size of my hand."
"That doesn't count."
"It absolutely counts. That spider was a monster. It looked at me with malice in its eyes. I had to use a shoe and everything."
"You're proving my point."
"I am not. The point is that when properly prepared, mentally and physically, there is no animal on this earth that could scare me. I am a fortress of courage. An unshakeable pillar of—"
Something leaps out of the underbrush. It happens fast. A blur of movement, a flash of wet green, something small and quick launching itself toward your legs. You scream. It's high-pitched and utterly devoid of the courage you were just bragging about. Your body reacts before your brain can catch up, jerking backward, feet scrambling for purchase on the muddy path. Your left foot slides. Your right foot tries to compensate. Neither succeeds. You go down hard, ass-first into the mud with a wet, squelching thud.
The frog that caused this catastrophe hops away into the grass, completely unbothered. For a moment, you just sit there. Stunned. Covered in mud from the waist down, rain pouring onto your face, trying to process what just happened. Then Jimin starts laughing.
Not a polite chuckle. Not a restrained giggle. Full-body, doubled-over, tears-streaming laughter that shakes her entire frame. She's pointing at you, like a child who just witnessed the funniest thing in the history of comedy. "I was caught off guard, by the way," you say, trying to salvage some shred of dignity. "That's not fair. That doesn't count." She laughs harder, completely at your expense. “It could have been anything. A snake. A raccoon. A small bear." Jimin is wheezing now, bent over with her hands on her knees, struggling to breathe through the laughter. "This is a serious situation. I could have been badly hurt. I could have broken a leg. An arm. My spine.”
"Your face," she gasps out between laughs. "You should have seen your face."
"What about my face?"
"The fear." She straightens up slightly, mimics an exaggerated expression of horror. "Like you'd seen death itself."
"It was a large frog."
"It was a tiny frog."
"Size is relative." She dissolves into laughter again. You sit there in the mud, rain soaking through the seat of your pants, watching Yu Jimin, Karina of aespa, international superstar, laugh at you like you're the funniest thing she's ever seen. You should be annoyed. But you're smiling. You can't help it. Because she looks alive right now, alive in a way she hasn't since you met her."This is incredibly rude," you say. "I'm injured and traumatized and you're mocking me in Dolby Atmos. You're creating psychological damage in real time. Karina, my favorite idol, the woman I have supported since debut, is actively ridiculing me in my moment of weakness."
"I'm sorry," she says, still laughing. "I'm so sorry, it's just—it was so funny—you screamed like—"
"I did not scream."
"You absolutely screamed."
"I'm filing a complaint with your company."
She wipes tears from her eyes, still grinning. "I really am sorry. But I can't stop picturing it. The frog jumping and you just—" She mimes falling backward, makes a ridiculous sound effect.
"Are you done?" you ask. "Are you finished mocking me? Because I'm sitting in a puddle of mud and my dignity is hanging by a thread."
"I'm done." She takes a breath, tries to compose herself. "I'm done. I promise."
"Good." You extend your hand toward her. "Help me up." Jimin steps closer, reaching down. Her fingers wrap around yours.
You pull.
She yelps as her feet slide out from under her, balance completely gone, and then she's falling, landing in the mud beside you with a splat that sends brown water splattering across both of you. For a moment, she just stares at you. Mouth open. Eyes wide. Absolutely covered in mud.
You grin. “Guess the fun’s over, huh?”
"You did not just do that."
"I absolutely did."
"I was trying to help you!"
"Never trust strangers, that’s what they say.”
A slow narrowing of her eyes pins you in place; Okay, maybe you made a big mistake. "You shouldn't have done that," she says quietly.
"What are you going to—"
A handful of mud hits you square in the face. You sputter. Spit out grit. Wipe your eyes.
Jimin is already scooping up another handful, a wicked smile spreading across her face. "Oh no," you say. "No no no. You should not have done that. You have no idea what you've just started." You grab your own handful of mud. Cold and wet and absolutely disgusting. "This is war," you declare.
"Bring it on." She throws. You dodge (mostly). You throw back. She shrieks and retaliates.
And suddenly you're both scrambling in the mud, slipping and sliding and hurling handfuls of wet earth at each other like children. Jimin gets you in the chest. You get her in the shoulder. She tries to run and falls again, and you try to capitalize on her weakness but slip and go down beside her. You're laughing. She's laughing. The rain keeps falling and the mud keeps flying and somewhere in the chaos you lose track of who's winning because it doesn't matter anymore.
Jimin smears mud across your cheek with her palm. You retaliate by dumping a handful directly on top of her head. She gasps in outrage and tackles you, both of you rolling in the mud until you're completely unrecognizable, two brown figures wrestling on the shore of a grey lake while the storm rages overhead.
—
The towel is damp and your hair is still dripping slightly when you emerge from your bedroom, but you've given up on achieving actual dryness. Some battles aren't worth fighting. You're wearing sweatpants and a hoodie. Jimin is in the living room. She's standing by the couch with her own towel draped around her shoulders, running her fingers through wet hair that hangs in dark strands past her collarbone. She's changed into leggings and an oversized sweater. "That was a terrible idea," you say.
She looks up. Nods emphatically. "The worst idea. I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to get mud out of places mud should never be."
"I found some in my ear. My ear. How does that even happen?"
"You fell face-first into a puddle at one point."
"I was pushed."
"You tripped over your own feet."
"Semantics." You toss your towel over the back of a chair and stretch your arms above your head, feeling your spine pop. "At least we've upgraded our immune systems. All that bacteria exposure has to be good for something."
"That's not how immune systems work."
"Are you a doctor?"
"No."
"Then how would you know?" Jimin rolls her eyes. She finishes squeezing water from her hair and drapes her own towel beside yours. "Are you hungry?" you ask.
"Starving."
"Great. Let's cook something." You head toward the kitchen with purpose, like a man who knows what he's doing. You do not, in fact, know what you're doing. The kitchen is a foreign country and you are an undocumented immigrant with no language skills. Jimin follows you, watching as you open the refrigerator and stare at its contents like they might spontaneously arrange themselves into a meal.
"What are you thinking?" she asks. "Pasta? Stir fry? There's chicken in there, we could do something with that."
"Yes," you say. "One of those. Whichever one requires the least... cooking."
She tilts her head. "Have you ever cooked before?"
"Define 'cooked.'"
"Prepared food using heat and ingredients."
"Then no."
Jimin stares at you. "You've never cooked anything? Ever? In your entire life?"
"I've made toast. Does that count?"
"Toast is not cooking."
"It involves heat. And bread. That's basically the same thing."
"It's really not." She moves past you, gently but firmly shouldering you aside to access the refrigerator. "Okay. I'll cook. You just... stay out of the way."
"I can help."
"No."
"I'm very capable. I run a company. I manage hundreds of employees."
"Can any of those skills fry an egg?"
"I could learn."
"Not tonight." She pulls out chicken, vegetables, a carton of eggs, various bottles and containers whose purposes you can only guess at. "Tonight you sit over there and let me handle this."
You retreat to the kitchen island, hoisting yourself onto one of the stools. "This feels emasculating."
"Good."
"What if I just hand you things? I can be your sous chef. I saw that on a cooking show once."
"You don't know what anything is called."
"I know some things. That's a pan." You point. "That's a spatula. That's..." You squint at a utensil she's holding. "Some kind of... stabbing implement?"
"It's a whisk."
"I was close."
Jimin sets the whisk down and begins organizing ingredients on the counter with efficiency. You watch her work, the way her hands move with confidence, the way she seems to know instinctively where everything should go. "Where did you learn to cook?" you ask.
"My mom. And necessity." She cracks eggs into a bowl, one-handed, smooth. "When I was a trainee, we didn't have money for delivery every night. If you wanted to eat something that wasn't instant ramen, you had to make it yourself."
"That sounds rough."
"It was fine. I like cooking, actually. It's relaxing." She glances at you. "When I'm not being watched by someone who doesn't know what a whisk is."
"I know what a whisk is now. You just told me."
"Do you want to try?"
"Try what?"
She holds out the whisk. "Beating the eggs. It's simple. Even you can't mess it up." You slide off the stool and take the whisk from her hand. The bowl of cracked eggs sits on the counter, yellow yolks floating in clear viscous liquid. You stick the whisk in and start moving it around. "Not like that," Jimin says immediately.
"What's wrong with this?"
"You're stirring. You need to beat. Like this." She steps closer, her hand closing over yours on the whisk handle. Her fingers are warm. "Faster. In a circular motion. You're incorporating air, not just mixing." You try to follow her guidance. The eggs slosh around in the bowl, looking more or less the same as before. "You're hopeless," she says, but she's smiling.
"I told you. I'm a businessman, not a chef."
"Most businessmen can still feed themselves."
"You’re so cruel sometimes."
She takes the whisk back, bumping you out of the way with her hip. "Go sit down. You're a hazard."
You return to your stool, watching as she takes over the egg-beating with movements that are quick and sure. Within seconds, the eggs are transformed into a uniform yellow mixture. "Show-off," you mutter.
"Competence isn't showing off."
"It is when you do it that fast."
The cooking continues. Jimin moves around the kitchen like she owns it, heating pans, chopping vegetables, seasoning things with pinches of this and dashes of that. You try to help twice more. The first time, you're assigned to wash vegetables and somehow manage to spray water all over the counter and yourself. The second time, you're asked to stir something on the stove and immediately turn the heat up too high, nearly burning the contents. "Out," Jimin says after the second incident. "Get out of my kitchen."
"Hey, it's technically my kitchen."
"Not anymore. I'm annexing it. This is my territory now."
You raise your hands in surrender and retreat to the living room, collapsing onto the couch. The rain continues outside while the house feels warm and enclosed. Forty minutes later, Jimin emerges with two plates. Some kind of rice dish with vegetables and chicken, topped with a fried egg. It smells incredible.
"This looks amazing," you say, accepting your plate.
"Don't sound so surprised."
"I'm not surprised. I'm impressed." You eat on the couch, plates balanced on your laps, the rain providing ambient soundtrack. The food is good. Really good. Possibly the best thing you've eaten in weeks, though that might be the hunger talking. "This is incredible," you say around a mouthful.
"Chew first. Compliment later."
"I can do both."
Jimin snorts and focuses on her own plate. After dinner (you handle dishes, since it's the one task you can manage without supervision), the evening stretches out ahead with nothing particular to fill it. The storm shows no signs of stopping. Your MacBook sits on the coffee table where you left it earlier, the screen dark, full of emails you don't want to read and spreadsheets you don't want to look at.
"Movie?" you suggest.
"Sure."
You scroll through the streaming options, arguing amiably about genres (she wants something light; you suggest a psychological thriller just to see her reaction) before settling on a comedy neither of you has seen. It's mediocre. You spend half of it making sarcastic commentary and the other half distracted by work, pulling the MacBook onto your lap to respond to emails that can't wait while Jimin curls up on the other end of the couch with a blanket she found in the closet. At some point, you look up from a particularly frustrating spreadsheet and realize two hours have passed. The movie is over. The credits are rolling. Jimin is fighting to keep her eyes open, head tilting dangerously toward the armrest.
"Hey." You close the laptop. "Bedtime."
She blinks. Straightens. "I wasn't sleeping."
"You were about to."
"I was resting my eyes."
"Sure." You both stand. Stretch. The house has grown quiet around you, just the rain and the occasional creak of old wood settling. The hallway to the bedrooms is dim, lit only by the light spilling from the living room behind you. You stop at your door. She stops at hers. Directly across the hall, maybe six feet apart. "I should warn you," you say, keeping your expression completely neutral. "There was a murder in this house."
Jimin's hand freezes on her door handle. "What?"
"Years ago. A whole family. They say the killer was never caught."
Her eyes narrow. "You're lying."
"I'm completely serious. So if you hear footsteps in the night, or see shadows moving, or feel something cold touch your shoulder while you're sleeping..."
"Stop."
"Just stay in your room. Don't investigate. That's how people die in horror movies. They hear a noise and they go toward it instead of away from it."
Jimin points at you. "If I can't sleep tonight because of this, I'm blaming you."
"Blame me all you want. I'll be in my room. Behind a locked door. Safe from the vengeful spirits that roam these halls."
"There are no vengeful spirits."
"That's what they want you to think."
She opens her door, shaking her head. "You're the worst."
"I know." You lean against your own doorframe. "Hey. Jimin." She pauses. Looks back at you. "I'm happy you're here," you say. "Today was strange. And wet. And I'm probably going to find mud in weird places for the next week. But it was also... nice. Really nice."
"Yeah," she says quietly. "It was."
"So. Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
You both just stand there for a second. Across the hall from each other, maybe six feet of space that feels like more. Neither of you moves. Then you step inside. Close the door. Lean back against it and just... breathe. The room's dark. Quiet. Empty. And you're thinking about today. About laughter and mud flying everywhere and screaming at a fucking lake until your throat hurt. About all of it.
You fall asleep easier than you have in months. No nightmares about board meetings or bankruptcy or watching everything crumble. Just sleep. Real sleep.
—
Morning takes its sweet time arriving, dragging itself through that grey half-light that seeps past the curtains. The rain's still going. Actually, scratch that, it's gotten worse overnight, upgraded from steady downpour to something that sounds like the lake house is under siege. The idea of leaving this bed, of exposing yourself to the cold air outside these blankets? That's asking a lot. That's asking for genuine courage. You stay put for a while. Just lying there with eyes tracing invisible patterns on the ceiling, letting the sound of the storm fill the space where thoughts should be.
Eventually, hunger wins out over laziness.
The kitchen smells like coffee when you shuffle in, still wearing the sweatpants and hoodie you slept in. Jimin is already there, perched on one of the stools at the island, both hands wrapped around a steaming mug. She's cocooned in blankets, layers of them draped over her shoulders and pooling around her on the stool, so only her face and fingers are visible. She looks ridiculous. She looks cozy. She looks unfairly cute for someone who's essentially transformed herself into a human burrito.
You grab a mug from the cabinet, pour yourself coffee from the pot she's already made, and lean against the counter. "Good morning."
"Morning." Her response is muffled, half-swallowed by a yawn.
"How'd you sleep?"
She takes a sip of coffee. Doesn't meet your eyes. "Not great."
Guilt flickers through you. "Look, I'm sorry about the murderer thing. I was just messing around. I didn't think it would actually keep you up."
"It wasn't that."
"No?"
"No."
You wait for her to elaborate. She doesn't. "Okay," you say, letting it go. Pushing won't help. You've learned that much about her in the short time you've known each other. "So what do you want to do today? I was thinking we could walk through the woods when the rain lets up. There are some trails behind the house that go pretty deep."
Jimin nods slowly. "That sounds good."
"Cool." You take a long drink of coffee, feeling the warmth spread through your chest. "What do you want for breakfast?"
She looks up at you. "You're not cooking."
"I could try."
"You'd burn the house down."
"That's a slight exaggeration."
"Is it? You almost set fire to the stove last night stirring vegetables."
"That was a learning experience."
"For everyone involved." She slides off the stool, blankets still wrapped around her like a cape, and starts moving toward the refrigerator. "I'll cook. Just tell me what you want."
"You don't have to. I can figure something out. There's probably cereal or something."
Jimin fixes you with a look. "If I don't cook for you, you'll starve. You literally cannot feed yourself. I've seen the evidence."
There's no arguing with that. You sigh. "Fine. Eggs? And toast. Whatever's easiest."
"Eggs and toast it is." She cooks. You stay out of her way, nursing your coffee and watching from a safe distance. The kitchen fills with the smell of butter and browning bread, domestic and warm, and you think about how strange this is. How comfortable. How much it feels like something that's been happening for years instead of hours. After breakfast, you head to the bathroom to clean up. You're standing at the sink, face covered in shaving foam, razor in hand, when Jimin appears in the doorway.
"I found new raincoats," she says, holding up two plastic-wrapped packages. "These ones actually look like they might fit. They were in the hall closet, buried under a bunch of—" She stops. Stares at your face. "You look like Santa Claus."
You glance at yourself in the mirror. The white foam does cover most of your lower face, spreading from cheek to cheek and down your neck. "Ho ho ho."
"That's disturbing. Never do that again."
"What, shave? I'll just grow a beard. Become a mountain man. Really commit to the living-off-the-land thing."
"Please don't." She steps into the bathroom, setting the raincoats on the counter. "Do you want help?"
You pause mid-stroke. "With shaving?"
"There are spots you can't see. The angle's weird." She holds out her hand. "Give me the razor."
"Have you ever done this before?"
"No."
"That's incredibly reassuring. Thank you. I feel very safe."
"Shut up and give me the razor." You hand it over. She moves closer, positioning herself in front of you, one hand coming up to tilt your chin toward the light. "Stay still," she instructs.
"If you cut my throat, I'm going to haunt you forever."
"Then don't move and you'll be fine." She brings the razor to your cheek. Draws it down in a slow, careful stroke, leaving smooth skin in its wake. Rinses the blade. Repeats. You hold very still.
It's strange, having someone this close to your face. Strange having someone else's hands on you like this, performing such an ordinary task with such focused attention. Jimin's brow is furrowed in concentration, her lower lip caught between her teeth as she navigates the curve of your jaw. "Tilt your head back," she says softly. You comply. She works on your neck, the blade gliding over your Adam's apple, and you're acutely aware of how much trust this requires. How vulnerable you are right now. One wrong move and she could open your jugular.
She doesn't make any wrong moves. "Turn this way." She guides your chin to the left. "I'm getting the sideburns."
"I didn't ask for sideburn maintenance."
"You're getting it anyway. They were uneven."
"They were not."
"They absolutely were. The left one was at least a centimeter longer than the right. It was bothering me."
"You were analyzing my sideburns?"
"I was trying not to stare at the Santa Claus foam beard. The sideburns were the only safe place to look." She finishes the left side, moves to the right. Her face is very close to yours now, close enough that you can see the faint freckle near her left eyebrow. "There." She steps back, surveying her work. "Done."
You turn to the mirror. Your face is smooth, cleanly shaved, better than you usually manage on your own. She got the spots you always miss, the tricky angles under your jaw, the patch near your ear that always gives you trouble. "Not bad," you admit.
"Not bad? That's perfect. I should quit being an idol and become a barber."
"The pay's probably worse."
"But the hours are better."
You splash water on your face, rinse away the last traces of foam. When you straighten up, Jimin is still there, watching you in the mirror. It's the most intimate thing you've experienced in a long time. A girl shaving your face. It shouldn't feel like much. But it does. "Thanks," you say.
She smiles. Just a little. "You're welcome."
The rain tapers off around noon, fading from downpour to drizzle to a fine mist. Good enough. You grab a small backpack from the hall closet, throw in a flashlight (the woods get dark even on bright days, and today is anything but), some bottles of water and some food (snacks). Jimin wears one of the new raincoats, forest green this time, properly fitted. You take the other one, navy blue.
The trail starts behind the house, a narrow dirt path that winds into the trees. Your footsteps are muffled by fallen leaves, soft sounds that disappear into the vastness of the forest. For a while, neither of you speaks. Just walks. The silence is comfortable, companionable, broken only by birdsong and the drip of water from branches overhead. "This is absurd," you say eventually.
Jimin glances at you. "What is?"
"This. Us. Two strangers walking through a forest in the middle of nowhere. Alone. And it feels... normal. Like we've been doing this for years."
She's quiet for a moment. Considering. "I feel really comfortable," she admits. "Being here. With you."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." She steps over a fallen branch, her raincoat rustling. "You don't ask questions."
"I ask plenty of questions."
"Not the ones I don't want to answer." She looks at you sideways. "I like that about you. You let me have my silence. You don't push."
"I push sometimes."
"Not really. Not about the important things." She pulls her hood up against the mist. "Most people, when they find out someone's struggling, they want to fix it. They want to give advice, offer solutions, tell you it's going to be okay. They mean well, but it's exhausting. It makes you feel like your pain is a problem to be solved instead of just... experienced."
You nod slowly. "I get that."
"Do you?"
"Yeah." You kick a pinecone off the trail, watch it roll into the underbrush. "I understand you completely. We're alike, you and me."
Jimin raises an eyebrow. "We're nothing alike."
"We're very alike. I don't have hair as beautiful as yours, obviously. That's unfair. Genetics failed me there. But inside..." You tap your chest. "In here. We're similar. Same kind of broken. Same kind of lost."
She doesn't respond immediately. The trail curves ahead, winding between two massive oaks whose branches interlock overhead like fingers. "You say you know what I'm going through," she says finally. "How? How could you know?"
"Because I've seen it before."
"Seen what?"
"Someone losing themselves. Forgetting who they are underneath everything else. Getting so caught up in what everyone expects them to be that they can't remember what they actually want."
Jimin stops walking. Turns to face you fully. "Who? Who did you see that with?"
You study her face. The curiosity there, the hunger for understanding. She wants to know. Needs to know, maybe, because she's hoping your answer will tell her something about herself.
You smile. "I'll answer that."
"Okay."
"If you can catch me."
Her expression shifts. Confusion first, then realization. "What do you mean?"
You point ahead, where the trail opens into a small clearing and, beyond it, the dark mouth of a cave carved into a rocky hillside. "There's a cave over there. If you get there before me, I'll tell you everything."
"That's not fair. You have longer legs."
"Then you'd better start running." You take off down the trail.
"Wait!" Jimin shouts. "That's cheating! You didn't even count down!"
You don't wait. You just bolt.
Behind you, Jimin curses, and then you hear her footsteps pounding after you. She's fast. Way faster than you expected for someone having an existential crisis. The forest blurs into streaks of green, brown and grey, mist hitting your face, and you're laughing. Actually fucking laughing, breathless and stupid, running through the woods like you're ten years old again.
She's gaining on you. You can hear her breathing, hear her laughing too. "I'm catching you!" she yells. "And then you're telling me everything!"
"Gotta earn it first!"
The cave's getting closer. Trees thinning out. Your legs are burning but you push harder.
You run. Then a duck happens. A goddamn duck.
It explodes out of the bushes with this aggressive-ass quack, wings flapping everywhere, and you stumble sideways. Your foot catches a root. Your momentum dies instantly. By the time you catch yourself, Jimin's already blown past you at a speed that would make Olympic sprinters jealous.
She touches the rock face with her palm, spins around, and throws her arms up in victory. "I won!"
You stagger up behind her, hands on your knees, gasping for air. "That doesn't count. There was a duck."
"A duck?"
"It attacked me."
"It quacked at you. From ten feet away."
"Aggressively. It quacked aggressively." You straighten up, pressing a hand to your side where a stitch is forming. “You’d be surprised how many people get killed by ducks every year. Absolute menaces. Anyway, I demand a rematch."
"No way. I won fair and square." She's breathing hard too, cheeks flushed from the run. "You owe me answers now."
"Fine." You gesture toward the cave mouth: a dark opening in the hillside about eight feet wide and maybe six feet tall. "But let's go inside first. I want to show you something." You click on the flashlight and lead the way in. The cave isn't deep, maybe thirty feet before it narrows to nothing, but the ceiling is high enough to stand comfortably, and the walls are dry despite the rain outside. "I used to play here with my cousins," you say, sweeping the flashlight beam across the walls. "When we were kids. We'd pretend it was a fortress. A pirate hideout. A secret base for our spy operations."
The light catches something on the far wall. Scribbles. Crude drawings scratched into the rock with sharp stones. Stick figures with oversized heads. A wobbly boat on wavy lines that might be water. Names and initials surrounded by hearts, the kind of thing kids carve when they're young enough to think love is simple.
"Cave paintings," Jimin says softly.
"Our contribution to human artistic history." You trace the flashlight over a terrible rendition of what might be a dog or possibly a horse. "I made that one. I was seven. I thought it was a masterpiece."
"What is it supposed to be?"
"A dragon."
She squints at it. "I don't see it."
"Yeah, nobody ever did."
You set the backpack down near the wall and lower yourself to the ground, your back against the stone. The floor is cold through your pants, but not unbearably so. You unzip the bag and start pulling out its contents. Snacks. Lots of them. Chips in various flavors, chocolate bars, gummy candies, dried fruit, the honey butter cookies she mentioned loving during some variety show you watched. You spread them out between you like a picnic.
Jimin settles down across from you, cross-legged, eyes widening as she takes in the selection. "You packed all of this?"
"I figured we might get hungry."
"These are all my favorites."
"Are they? Weird coincidence."
She gives you a look that says she knows exactly what you did, but she doesn't call you out on it. Just reaches for the honey butter cookies and tears open the package. "Okay," she says, chewing. "I won. Tell me everything."
You pick up a chocolate bar. Unwrap it slowly. Take a bite, letting the silence stretch.
"You've been an idol since you were young," you say. "Trainee years, debut, all of it. You were, what, sixteen when you started? Seventeen?"
"Around there."
"No one that young is prepared for what you went through. What you're still going through." You break off another piece of chocolate. "I'm not saying this to be mean. I'm saying it because it's true. If I had been in your position at that age, I would have cracked a lot sooner than you did. The routine. The pressure. The cameras, the fans, the expectations. And on top of all that, there's this persona you have to maintain. Karina. This perfect, polished version of yourself that exists for public consumption. But that's not really you, is it? That's a character. A role you play." She's very still now. The cookie in her hand forgotten. "And then there's Jimin. The real you. The person underneath the makeup and the choreography and the carefully managed public image. The girl who likes honey butter cookies and doesn't know how to fish and laughs until she cries when someone falls in mud."
A tiny smile flickers at the corner of her mouth. Gone almost immediately.
"The problem is, you have to switch between them constantly. Jimin at home, Karina on stage, Jimin with friends, Karina in interviews. Back and forth, over and over, every single day. And I can imagine..." You pause, choosing your words carefully. "I can imagine there comes a point where the switching gets exhausting. Where it starts to feel pointless. Why bother going back to being Jimin if tomorrow you'll just have to be Karina again? Why not just stay Karina all the time? It's easier. It's simpler. It's what everyone wants anyway." Jimin's hands have tightened around the cookie package. The plastic crinkles. "So you do that. You stay Karina. For days, weeks, months. You let Jimin fade into the background because it's just too hard to keep pulling her back. And then one day, you need her. Something happens and you need to be yourself, really yourself, and you reach for Jimin and she's not there." You meet her eyes. "You can't find your way back. You look in the mirror and you don't recognize the person staring at you. You don't know who you are anymore. What you want. What you're supposed to be."
"How do you know all that?" Jimin whispers.
"Because I've been there. I've watched it happen." You take another bite of chocolate, chew slowly. "To myself."
"You?"
"Me. Different circumstances, same result." You lean your head back against the stone. "My job requires me to be someone I'm not. All the time. I deal with people I can't stand, people who are shallow and greedy and only care about money. And I smile at them. I shake their hands, I laugh at their jokes, I pretend to be one of them because that's what the job demands. That's how you survive in my world."
"That sounds awful."
"It is. But I got good at it. Too good. I wore the mask so often that I forgot what my real face looked like underneath." You pause. "There was a period, maybe two years ago, where I genuinely couldn't tell the difference anymore. Between the person I was pretending to be and the person I actually was. I'd lost myself completely. But that's what I am… Underneath all the pretending. I'm just a guy who likes going into caves to eat snacks with strangers." You gesture at the space around you, at her. "A stranger who happens to be the it girl of Korea. Which is kind of surreal, honestly. But here we are."
You reach over and tap her shoulder gently with your knuckles.
"You'll find your way back to who you are. I know you will. But here's the thing." You hold her gaze. "You're the one who creates it. You're the one who decides who Jimin is. Not SM, not the fans, not the media. You. And if you don't know who that is right now, that's okay. You get to figure it out. You get to make it up as you go."
"How?" She asks with evident desperation. "I'm so lost. Every day I feel less and less like a real person. Like I'm fading away and no one notices because Karina is still there, performing, smiling, doing all the things she's supposed to do. But inside there's just... nothing."
"Then start with nothing." You open a bag of jelly beans and offer it to her. "What do you want right now? In this exact moment?"
"I don't know."
"Do you want to be on stage?"
"No."
"Do you want to be in Seoul?"
"No."
"Do you want to be anywhere other than this cave, eating snacks with a guy you barely know?"
She hesitates. Thinks about it. "No."
"Then you already have what you want. Right now, in this moment, you want nothing. You want to just... exist. Without expectations. Without pressure. And look." You spread your arms. "You're in a cave in the middle of nowhere. That's pretty close to nothing. That's about as far from Karina as you can get." She takes a jelly bean. Red one. Pops it in her mouth. "Tomorrow you might want something different," you continue. "The day after that, something else. And that's fine. That's how it's supposed to work. You don't have to figure out your entire identity in one afternoon. You just have to find the will to keep looking. To keep hoping that the pieces will eventually fit together." You shrug. "That's how we survive. One day at a time. One want at a time."
Jimin chews slowly. Swallows. Reaches for another jelly bean.
"But here's the important part," you say, and your tone shifts, becomes more serious. "Don't go alone. You have people who love you. Family, friends, the other members. People who care about Jimin, not just Karina. Let them help you."
"They wouldn't understand."
"Maybe not perfectly. But they'd try." You pause. "And if you really can't bring yourself to turn to them, then turn to me. I'm just a stranger. A shadow that passed through your life at some random point. Sometimes that's all we need. Someone with no expectations, no history, no stake in who you're supposed to be."
She looks at you. "A shadow?"
"Yeah." You pick at the wrapper of your chocolate bar. "That's what I am. Empty. No form of my own. I just darken the people around me. Cast gloom wherever I go."
"That's not true."
"It's a little true. Ask anyone who works for me." You smile, but it's thin. "But with you... I want to be different. I want to be the kind of shadow you can hide behind. A place where nothing can reach you. Where no one can touch you or demand anything from you." You meet her eyes. "For as long as you want. However long you need. You can stay hidden behind me, and I'll keep everything else out."
Jimin doesn't say anything for a long time. Processing. You let her have that moment. Until finally she asks: "What am I to you? If you're a shadow, what does that make me?"
You think about it. The question deserves a real answer.
"The moon," you say.
"The moon?"
"Right now, you feel distant. Untouchable. Like you're a million miles away from everyone, even from yourself. And maybe you feel like your light has gone out. Like whatever used to make you shine has faded. But you're still shining. Even if you don't realize it. It's softer now, yeah. Quieter. But it's there. I can see it." You gesture at her. "And I like it. I like this glow better, honestly. It's not blinding. It's not overwhelming. It's the kind of light that enhances things. That makes the darkness easier to bear... The night we met, you were like a girl sitting on the moon. So far away. So alone. But even then, you were beautiful. Even crying on that bench, you were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen." You laugh quietly. "And after that, I went back to that same bench every night for a week. Just sat there by myself, hoping you'd appear again. Like a complete idiot."
When you look at Jimin, there are tears in her eyes. "Hey." You lean forward, concerned. "Are you okay? Did I say something wrong? I'm sorry, I talk too much when I'm nervous, I didn't mean to—"
"How can you be so stupid and so intelligent at the same time?" she interrupts.
You pause. "I... don't know if I should be flattered or offended by that."
"Both." A tear spills over, tracking down her cheek. She wipes it away impatiently with the back of her hand. "Be both."
"Okay. I'll work on that."
She laughs, wet and shaky, and takes another handful of jelly beans. "Thank you. For saying all of that. I liked it. Even if it made me cry like an idiot."
"Crying doesn't make you an idiot. Punching mirrors makes you an idiot. You're fine." She laughs. A real one this time, not that sad half-laugh from before, and reaches for the honey butter cookies. So here's the thing about dumping all your feelings in a cave: afterward, it just gets quiet. Not weird quiet. Just regular quiet. You're sitting there with the flashlight between you, surrounded by empty chip bags and candy wrappers, staring at the dumb drawings you scratched into the rock as a kid. Neither of you says anything. Neither of you needs to.
But you can't sit here forever. At some point, you start cleaning up. Grabbing wrappers, shoving empty bags into the backpack. You're kind of obsessive about it, actually - checking every corner, making sure you get every piece of trash, every crumb.
"You're very thorough," Jimin observes, watching you hunt down a stray chocolate wrapper that's trying to escape into a crevice.
"Mother Nature and I have an understanding. I don't pollute her forests, she doesn't send bears to maul me in my sleep."
"I don't think that's how ecology works."
"I prefer not to test the theory."
The backpack zipped, you stand and stretch, feeling your spine crack in several places that probably shouldn't crack. The cave has gotten colder, or maybe you've just noticed it now that you're not distracted by existential conversations about identity and moonlight. "We should head back," you say. "I fancy some hot chocolate."
Jimin rises to her feet, brushing dirt from her raincoat. "By that, you mean you want me to make you hot chocolate."
"What? No. I can make hot chocolate myself. I'm not completely helpless."
She tilts her head and studies you… Yeah, she's definitely reviewing the evidence of the past thirty-six hours. "I find myself unfortunately skeptical," she says.
The honest truth is that she's probably right. Hot chocolate involves heating milk, which involves using the stove, which involves not setting things on fire. Your track record in that department is not encouraging. "Well," you say, with as much dignity as you can muster, "perhaps I'll supervise while you demonstrate the proper technique."
"Supervise."
"Offer moral support. Quality control. That sort of thing."
The corner of her mouth twitches. She doesn't argue further. You're about to head toward the cave entrance when Jimin goes still. Her eyes fix on something just past your shoulder. Then she steps toward you. Close. Very close.
Your heart immediately races. Your brain, helpful as ever, immediately begins cataloguing the distance between your mouth and hers (approximately four inches), the angle of her face (tilted slightly upward), and the probable softness of her lips (considerable, based on visual evidence). She's going to kiss you, you think. Or possibly you're going to kiss her. Someone is going to kiss someone, that much seems certain, and you should probably—
Her hand reaches past your shoulder and taps you lightly on the back.
"Spider," she says.
You nearly leave your skin.
What emerges from your mouth is not a word, exactly. More of a strangled yelp. You jerk away from her, spinning around, your hands doing that frantic brushing motion that accomplishes nothing except making you look like you're having some sort of episode. "Where?! Where is it?! Is it on me?! Is it still on me?!"
"It's gone," she says, giggling. "I flicked it off. Relax, it was just a small one."
"Small spiders are the most dangerous ones. Everyone knows that. The smaller the spider, the more concentrated the venom."
"That's not scientifically accurate."
"I don't care about accuracy, I care about not dying."
She's properly laughing now, the same bright unrestrained sound you heard during the mud fight. It's a good sound. You'd be enjoying it more if you weren't still vibrating with residual panic. "You're like a frightened kitten," she says. "So tough about bears, but one tiny spider and you completely fall apart."
"I am not a frightened kitten. A spider the size of a frisbee would scare anyone."
"It was the size of my fingernail."
"Size is irrelevant. Deadliness is what matters."
She eyes you with amusement, smiling. "Why are you so red?"
Ah. Yes. That would be the blood that rushed to your face approximately thirty seconds ago when you thought you were about to be kissed. The blood that's still there, betraying you, making your cheeks feel like they're radiating heat. "Allergic reaction," you say immediately. "To the spider. My skin is extremely sensitive. Delicate, really. Like a Victorian-era duchess. I've always had this condition."
Jimin's eyebrow rises slowly. She doesn't look even slightly convinced. "A Victorian-era duchess, huh?"
"Yes. It's genetic." You rub your hands together, partly because they actually are cold and partly because you need something to do that isn't looking directly at her face while lying badly about the source of your blush. "It's colder than I expected," you say, desperate to change the subject. "I'm genuinely surprised neither of us got hypothermia yesterday. All that rolling around in the mud. Very irresponsible, in retrospect."
Jimin watches you fumble for another moment. Then, without ceremony, she reaches out and takes your hand. Her fingers interlock with yours. Palm to palm. A simple gesture, completely natural. At least, that’s how Jimin makes it look. "Come on," she says. "Let's go back. I'll warm your hand on the way." A pause. "No running this time."
What needs to be understood about this moment is that you are, fundamentally, not a person who holds hands. You're not a person who does casual physical intimacy. In your experience, touch is either transactional (handshakes, back-pats) or romantic (which requires intention and buildup and usually alcohol). This middle ground, this easy, uncomplicated contact, is foreign territory.
And yet… "Okay," you murmur.
Her hand is small in yours. Delicate in a way that makes you hyperaware of your own roughness, the calluses on your palm from gym equipment you barely use anymore, the healing scars across your knuckles from your ill-advised confrontation with interior glass. Her fingers are cool at first, but they warm quickly, or maybe your hand warms them, or maybe the warmth is coming from somewhere else entirely. You walk out of the cave together. The rain has stopped completely now, leaving the forest dripping and fresh, every surface gleaming with moisture. The path back to the house stretches through the trees, dappled with grey light, and you follow it slowly. No running. No racing. Just walking, side by side, hands clasped between you.
Neither of you says much. There's nothing that needs saying.
—
Later that night, the house has settled into that particular brand of quiet that only exists in remote places. No traffic noise, no neighbours, no ambient hum of civilization. Just the creak of old wood, the whisper of wind against windows, and the distant rumble of thunder from a storm that's circling somewhere beyond the mountains. Jimin is yawning in the hallway, dressed in pajamas that are somehow both sensible and unfairly attractive. Soft cotton, pale blue, slightly too long in the sleeves. Her hair is loose around her shoulders, still slightly damp from whatever evening routine she's completed, and she looks like someone who's ready to surrender to unconsciousness.
"Goodnight," she says, her hand on her bedroom door.
"Goodnight," you reply.
She opens the door. Steps inside. You follow her. She turns, eyebrow rising in that way you're beginning to recognize as her default expression of mild incredulity. "What are you doing?"
"Coming in."
"I can see that. Why?"
You move past her into the room, which is tidier than you expected. Her suitcase sits in the corner, mostly unpacked. A sweater draped over the chair. The bed turned down, waiting.
"I thought I'd keep you company," you say. "Until you fall asleep."
"I'm not a child."
"I never said you were."
"Then why do you think I need someone to tuck me in?"
You're not looking at her. You're scanning the bookshelf built into the wall near the window, running your fingers along spines that haven't been touched in years. Children's books, mostly. Relics from a time when this room hosted cousins and nieces and nephews, when the house was full of noise and laughter instead of dust and silence. "You said you didn't sleep well last night," you say, still searching. "And you wouldn't tell me why." Jimin is silent. "I'm not asking you to tell me now, either. But I thought..." You find what you're looking for and pull it from the shelf. "I thought this might help."
She stares at the book in your hands. It's thin, the cover worn soft with age, illustrated with a girl in a blue dress and three bears of varying sizes. "Goldilocks," she says flatly.
"A classic of Western literature."
"You want to read me Goldilocks."
"My grandmother used to read it to me when I was small. When I couldn't sleep. When things felt too big and too scary." You turn the book over in your hands, tracing the faded illustration on the back. "I'm not saying it'll work for you. But it can't hurt to try."
Thunder rumbles outside. The windows rattle faintly in their frames. "This is absurd," she says.
"Probably."
"You're going to sit there and read me a children's story."
"That's the plan."
"Like I'm five years old."
"I won't judge your age. I'm barely functional myself."
She hesitates for another moment. Then, with a sigh that suggests she's humoring you against her better judgment, she climbs into bed. The covers come up to her chin, white duvet swallowing her small frame. You settle onto the edge of the mattress, back against the headboard, book in hand. The lamp on the nightstand casts a warm circle of light, leaving the rest of the room in comfortable shadow.
"Once upon a time," you begin, "there was a little girl named Goldilocks."
"Original name."
"Hush. I'm reading." You clear your throat. "She went for a walk in the forest. Pretty soon, she came upon a house. She knocked and, when no one answered, she walked right in."
"Breaking and entering."
"It was a different time. Less security-conscious." You turn the page. "At the table in the kitchen, there were three bowls of porridge. Goldilocks was hungry. She tasted the porridge from the first bowl. 'This porridge is too hot!' she exclaimed." Jimin's eyes are on your face now, watching you read with an expression you can't quite decode. "So she tasted the porridge from the second bowl. 'This porridge is too cold,' she said. So she tasted the last bowl of porridge. 'Ahhh, this porridge is just right,' she said happily, and she ate it all up."
You pause. Lower the book slightly.
"Now, here's what I don't understand."
Jimin groans. "Oh no."
"Three bowls of porridge. Same batch, presumably. Made at the same time, served at the same table. How is it possible that one is too hot, one is too cold, and one is just right? They should all be the same temperature."
"It's a children's story."
"I understand that. But the physics don't make sense. Unless—" You hold up a finger. "Unless the bowls are made of different materials with different heat retention properties. Papa Bear's bowl is ceramic, holds heat longer. Mama Bear's bowl is metal, conducts heat away faster. Baby Bear's bowl is wood, perfect insulation."
"You're overthinking this."
You grin and continue reading. The three chairs, the three beds, Goldilocks's continued disregard for personal property. But you can't help yourself. Every few paragraphs, another observation emerges. "Why is Baby Bear's chair so small that it breaks under a child's weight? That's a safety hazard. Someone should report the manufacturer." Jimin pulls the covers over her face. "And another thing. The bears come home and immediately notice the porridge has been disturbed. But they don't smell a human intruder in their house? Bears have exceptional olfactory senses. They should have detected Goldilocks from the moment they walked through the door."
"Please stop."
"I'm just saying, the internal logic—"
"The internal logic is that it's a story for children who don't care about porridge thermodynamics or bear olfaction." Jimin pulls the covers down just enough to glare at you. "Just finish the story. Without commentary. I'm begging you."
"Fine," you say. "No more interruptions."
"Promise?"
"Cross my heart." As promised, you finish the story without any more interruptions. Then you flip to a different book. Little Red Riding Hood. Another classic. "Once upon a time," you begin again, "there lived in a certain village a little country girl..."
This time, you don't interrupt. You read the story the way it's meant to be read, letting the words flow without commentary, without analysis. The girl in the red hood. The path through the woods. The wolf with his clever tongue and hungry eyes. The grandmother's cottage with its strange occupant in the bed.
What big eyes you have. What big ears you have. What big teeth you have.
Jimin's breathing slows. Her body relaxes into the mattress, tension bleeding out of her shoulders. Her eyes grow heavy, then heavier, then finally close. You finish the story anyway. The huntsman, the rescue, the happily ever after. You're not sure if she hears the ending or if she's already drifted too far into sleep to catch it.
You finish the story and close the book. Gentle, so you don't wake her. Set it on the nightstand.
You look at her face in the lamplight. She's out. Her face is completely relaxed. Peaceful. You haven't seen her look like this since you met her.
The rain keeps going outside, but she's dead to the world.
You reach over and turn off the lamp.
—
Morning arrives with the same grey light as yesterday. The same rain. The same cold. Not that you're complaining, really. You’re starting to get used to the place’s melancholic, desolate atmosphere. There’s a bleak, nihilistic charm to it that’s hard to ignore.
Jimin is in the living room when you emerge, curled into the corner of the sofa with a mug clasped between her palms. She's wrapped in that same blanket from yesterday.
You pour yourself coffee from the pot she's made. Take a sip. Let the warmth spread through your chest. "Good morning."
"Morning." She shifts slightly, making room on the sofa, though there's plenty of space already.
"How'd you sleep?" And here's where you expect the usual deflection. The vague answer, the change of subject, the careful maintenance of boundaries. But instead, Jimin tilts her head and actually considers the question.
"Well, actually," she says. "Really well. I didn't wake up exhausted for once."
You settle onto the opposite end of the sofa, mirroring her position. Feet tucked up, body angled toward the centre, a careful distance maintained between.
"The Goldilocks technique," you say. "Scientifically proven to induce restful sleep."
"Or the fact that you read it so slowly I passed out from boredom."
"My pacing was deliberate. It's called dramatic tension."
"It's called you don't know how to read without stopping to argue with the text." You concede the point with a shrug and drink more coffee. The rain continues its assault on the windows. Inside, the house feels warm and enclosed, a bubble of safety floating in an ocean of grey. The fire you lit last night has burned down to embers, casting a faint orange glow that doesn't quite reach the corners of the room.
"What's the situation with work?" Jimin asks, nodding toward the MacBook sitting closed on the coffee table.
You follow her gaze. The laptop looks deceptively innocent sitting there, like it isn't a portal to your slowly imploding professional life. "Still a mess," you say. "The numbers haven't magically improved overnight. The investors are still pulling out, you know, the usual." You take another sip of coffee. "But I've decided not to look at it until after the meeting. Whatever's going to happen is going to happen whether I obsess over spreadsheets or not."
"That's very zen of you."
"I'm trying something new. It's called 'strategic denial.'"
Jimin smiles into her mug. "What about today?" she asks. "Any plans?"
You consider the question. Outside, the rain shows no sign of letting up. The lake will be churning, the paths muddy, the woods unwelcoming. Not exactly ideal conditions for outdoor activities. "I wanted to make a campfire," you admit. "Roast some marshmallows. But in this weather… Not really feasible."
"Can you even make a campfire?"
"Theoretically. I understand the basic principles. Wood, fire, not dying."
"That's not very specific."
"I contain multitudes of vague competencies."
You shift position, tucking your feet further under you, and find yourself talking without quite meaning to. "Did you know I fell into a bonfire when I was a child?"
"My God. Where did this happen?"
"At a family gathering. I was maybe six or seven. Someone had built this big fire on the beach, and I was running around not paying attention, and I just..." You mime tripping. "Went right in. Second-degree burns on my hands and knees. My mother nearly had a heart attack."
"That's horrifying."
"It was mostly embarrassing, honestly. Everyone made a huge fuss, and I had to wear bandages for weeks, and my cousins called me 'fireball' for the rest of the summer.” You pause. “I also almost drowned once. At a pool party when I was twelve. Jumped into the deep end without knowing how to swim properly. Had to be rescued by a lifeguard in front of everyone." Jimin stares at you. "Sometimes I'm genuinely surprised I survived to adulthood. The odds were not in my favour."
She's looking at you weird. Or not weird, exactly, but you can't quite figure out what the expression is. Her eyes are bright, almost shiny, and there's this thing happening with her mouth. The corners are turning up.
She's smiling. And it's a smile you've never seen on her before.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" you ask.
"Like what?"
"Like... that." You gesture at her face. "With the smiling."
"Am I not allowed to smile anymore?" She raises an eyebrow. "Does it bother you?"
"Yes, actually. A bit."
"My smile bothers you."
"I can't look at you when you're doing that." You find yourself staring at your coffee mug instead. "It's distracting. You're easier to deal with when you're crying. All pathetic, with snot coming out of your nose."
The pillow hits you square in the face. "I did not have snot coming out of my nose."
"You absolutely did." You catch the pillow before it can fall, hold it against your chest. "That first night, on the bench. There was definitely nasal discharge. Very attractive.”
"I'm going to kill you."
"See, this is what I mean. Murderous anger is much easier to handle than whatever that smile was."
She's moving before you realize what's happening. One moment she's at her end of the sofa, the next she's crossing the distance between you, blanket abandoned, and you don't know what she's going to do. Hit you, maybe. Smother you with another pillow, who knows.
But what Jimin does is completely different from what you might expect: her knees settle on either side of your hips, her hands bracing against your shoulders, and suddenly you're lying back against the sofa cushions with Yu Jimin straddling your body, looking down at you with an expression that's no longer angry at all.
"We don't have to do anything today," she says quietly. You open your mouth. Nothing comes out. Your hands hover uselessly in the air, unsure where to land, unsure what's allowed. "I just want to be with you," she continues. "Like this. Is that okay?"
And then she kisses you. The barest press of her lips against yours, tentative and questioning and achingly sweet. She tastes like coffee, and your hands finally find their place on her waist, settling against the curve of her body. The kiss ends. She pulls back just far enough to look at you with her hair falling around both your faces.
"You just kissed a stranger," you murmur.
"I know." She's smiling again, that same smile that you couldn't look at before, except now it's inches from your face and impossible to avoid. "It was very good."
She settles against you, her head finds the curve of your shoulder. Your arms wrap around her automatically, pulling her closer, and she makes a small sound of contentment. "You said I could hide behind you," she murmurs against your neck. "But I think I prefer this. Hiding in your arms."
"That works too."
You lie there together, tangled on the sofa, rain drumming against the windows, and for a long moment, neither of you speaks. There's nothing that needs saying. Just the warmth of her body, the rhythm of her breathing, the impossible fact of this moment existing at all. But the thought surfaces anyway. The one you've been pushing down since the cave, since the forest, since the moment she took your hand and started walking.
"You know none of this is real," you say quietly, and Jimin goes still against you. "You're an idol. One of the most famous women in the country. And I'm… I'm a businessman on the verge of bankruptcy. This can't exist. Outside of here. In the real world."
She lifts her head. Looks at you. "I know," she says. "Nothing this good could be real."
"Then why—"
"Because we're here to pretend." She kisses you again and your hands tighten on her waist involuntarily. "Remember? That's what you said. We'd pretend together. That our problems can't reach us. That the outside world doesn't exist."
"I remember."
"So let's pretend this is real too." Her forehead rests against yours. "Just for now. Just while we're here. Let me have this."
You don’t resist. You know better, but you still don’t argue "Okay," you say. "We'll pretend." She smiles. Settles back against your chest. Your arms tighten around her, and she sighs, and the sound is the closest thing to peace you've heard in months.
Here's something you've never told anyone: you don't actually know what love feels like. You've had relationships. Girlfriends who lasted months or years, who shared your bed and your time and eventually your boredom. But love? That consuming, transformative thing that poets write about? You've always assumed it was exaggeration. Metaphor. A beautiful lie people tell themselves to make the mundane feel meaningful.
But lying here with Jimin's heartbeat pressed against your ribs and her breath warm on your neck, something changes. It's not dramatic. No fireworks, no movie moment. It's just... you can't tell where your body ends and hers starts anymore. Her breathing matches yours. Her heartbeat syncs up with the rhythm in your chest. You're this close, this tangled up together, and for the first time in your life you understand what people mean when they talk about feeling complete.
This is probably what love feels like
—
Yes, what you're thinking eventually happened.
You and Jimin spent the day together. All of it. The cooking lessons she insisted on giving you, standing at the stove with her arms around you from behind, guiding your hands through the motions of chopping and stirring and not setting things on fire. You made a spectacular mess. Flour on the counters, sauce splattered across the backsplash, something that might have been an egg but ended up more on the floor than in the bowl. But you also made progress. Actual, measurable progress. By evening, you'd produced something edible. Not good, exactly. But edible. Jimin ate it anyway, and the look on her face when she swallowed was only slightly pained.
And then there was the rest of it. The parts that don't need narrating. The parts you can probably imagine if you've been paying attention to the story. The parts that happened after dinner, and then again after midnight, and then once more in the grey hours before dawn.
Which brings us here. The next morning.
You're in bed together, sheets tangled around your legs. The storm hasn't stopped. You're beginning to think it never will. That you've been transported to some alternate dimension where the sun is a myth and the only weather that exists is this endless, drumming wet.
Jimin is lying beside you, wearing nothing but white cotton panties and a thin tank top. Her nipples press against the fabric, visible outlines that draw your eye every time you try to look elsewhere. Her hair is spread across the pillow in dark waves, messy from sleep and from everything that came before sleep, and there's a mark on her collarbone that you don't remember making but are reasonably certain is your fault.
Your finger traces a slow line along her bare thigh. From knee to hip and back again. Her skin so soft, warm from the cocoon of blankets, and she shivers slightly when your touch skirts too close to the edge of her underwear. "I wish I knew how to draw," you say.
Jimin turns her head on the pillow, looking at you through half-lidded eyes. "Why?"
"So I could draw you. Right now. Like this." Your finger continues its lazy path, up and down, up and down. "That would be romantic, wouldn't it? The tortured artist capturing his muse in charcoal and shadow."
"You'd probably draw me with three arms and a head shaped like a potato."
She's not wrong. You've never had any talent for visual arts. Your handwriting looks like a seismograph reading during an earthquake, and the one time you tried to sketch something in college, your girlfriend at the time asked if it was supposed to be a horse or a pile of laundry. “Babe, you’ve gotta trust me a little more,” you say. “Still… you’re not wrong.”
"Is there anything you actually know how to do with your hands?" Jimin asks, light, teasing. "Cooking, no. Drawing, apparently not. What skills do you possess?"
You shift closer to her, your hand sliding higher on her thigh, fingers dipping beneath the hem of her tank top to trace along her hip bone. "I don't want to brag," you say, "but you seemed to enjoy what I did with my hands yesterday. And last night. And this morning, around three a.m."
Her breath catches slightly. Just a small hitch, barely noticeable, but you're paying attention. "Conceited," she murmurs.
"Confident."
She rolls toward you, her body pressing against yours, and then she's climbing on top of you, knees settling on either side of your hips, hands bracing against your chest. The tank top rides up, exposing the flat plane of her stomach, the delicate curve of her waist. And when she leans down to kiss you, you taste sleep and warmth. "Conceited," Jimin repeats against your lips. She tilts her head, searching your face. "What do you think of me?" she asks quietly. "After everything I told you last night?"
And there it is. The things she said in the dark, when the barriers were down and the words came easier. Things you won't repeat, not here, not now. They belong to her, those truths. You're just the vessel she chose to pour them into. "I think..." You reach up, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, letting your hand linger against her cheek. "I think there are more questions in the answers. I think you're more complicated than you let anyone see. I think you've been carrying weight that no one person should have to carry alone."
Your hand slides down, tracing the line of her jaw, her neck, her shoulder. Down her arm and back up again, mapping the geography of her body. "I wish I could do more for you," you say. "Fix things. Make it better. Be more than just..." She knows what you mean. The room, the rain, the strange, unlikely bubble you ended up creating together. "This."
"What is this?"
"One last day,” and it tastes bitter saying it. True, but still bitter. "That's all I can give you. Tomorrow I have to go back. The meeting. The board. The slow-motion car crash of my professional life."
"That's all I want," she says, tracing random patterns on your chest, a hint of heat moving across your skin. "One more day. With you. Here. Where nothing outside can reach us."
She shifts on top of you, adjusting her position, and the movement drags her hips across yours in a way that makes your breath catch. You're hard already. Have been since she climbed on top of you, probably. Her body pressing against yours through thin layers of cotton, the heat of her seeping through the fabric. Jimin feels it. Her lips curve into something knowing.
"Someone wants another round," she observes.
“That honestly wasn’t even on my mind, I swear.”
She smiles and leans down to kiss you. You feel her tongue sliding against yours as her hips begin to move. A lazy grind that drags the thin cotton of her panties across your length, creating friction that makes you grip her waist involuntarily. Her hand slides between your bodies. Fingers hooking into the waistband of your underwear, tugging downward, working the fabric past your hips. Your cock springs free, hard and aching, and she wraps her fingers around it immediately. A light grip at first, her thumb sweeping across the head in a teasing circle.
"Better?" she asks against your mouth.
Your hips jerk involuntarily. "Getting there.”
She continues stroking you, her grip finding a rhythm that's maddeningly unhurried, and her mouth never leaves yours. Kissing you slow and deep while her hand works your cock with the same patience. Then she shifts, adjusting her position, and suddenly the head of your cock is pressed against the thin cotton barrier of her panties. Right there. Right against her cunt, where the fabric is already damp, where you can feel the heat of her radiating through the material like she's burning from the inside out.
Your hand finds her ass. Squeezes. And god, the way it fills your palm, the perfect yield of soft flesh under your fingers, the way she gasps quietly into your mouth when you grip harder. She has the kind of ass that makes you want to spend hours just touching it, mapping every curve, learning exactly how much pressure makes her breath catch. Jimin lifts her hips slightly. Her free hand reaches down between her legs, fingers hooking into the cotton of her panties and pulling them aside, and then she's lowering herself back down and you feel it. The wet heat of her pressing against your bare cock, no barrier anymore, nothing between you but skin and slick warmth.
She takes you in slowly. Her body opens around you, her walls gripping you tight as she sinks down. Your hands tighten on her hips involuntarily, fingers digging into soft flesh. "Fuck," you breathe. She bottoms out. Takes all of you, her hips flush against yours, and for a moment she just stays there. Adjusting. Letting her body accommodate the stretch. Her eyes are closed, lips parted, and you can see the flutter of her pulse at the base of her throat.
Then she starts to move. Slow at first. A gentle roll of her hips, circular and smooth, grinding down against you in a way that creates friction without urgency. Her pussy is perfect. Tight and wet and hot, clinging to your cock with every movement, and you have to remind yourself to breathe because the sensation is overwhelming in the best possible way.
Her breasts sway gently inside her tank top with each roll of her hips. The thin fabric does nothing to conceal their shape, the way they move, the outline of her nipples pressing against the cotton. You want to push the shirt up, expose her completely, take those breasts in your hands and feel their weight. But there's something almost more erotic about this. The hint of concealment. The suggestion of skin without the full reveal.
And speaking of which: Jimin's pale skin glows in the grey morning light. She looks ethereal, otherworldly, something you dreamed up in a fever. Her dark hair cascades over her shoulders, brushing against her collarbones, and when she opens her eyes to look down at you, it knocks the breath out of you.
"You feel good," she murmurs, low, breathy, slightly unsteady.
"You feel incredible."
She smiles at that. Leans down to kiss you again, her breasts pressing against your chest through the thin fabric, and her hips never stop moving. That slow, sinuous rhythm that's driving you slowly insane. Your hands slide from her hips to her ass, palming both cheeks, guiding her movements even as she sets the pace. She feels unbelievably good. Every roll of her hips drags your cock through her slick heat, you can feel how wet she is, the evidence of her arousal coating your length, making every movement smooth and easy.
"I like watching you," you say. "Like this. On top of me."
Jimin's rhythm falters slightly. A flush spreads across her cheeks, down her neck, disappearing beneath the collar of her tank top. "Yeah?"
"Yeah." Your hands squeeze her ass, pulling her down harder on the next stroke. "You're beautiful."
She kisses you instead of responding, and her pace increases. Still not fast, not urgent, but more intentional now. Rising up until you're almost slipping out of her, then sinking back down in one smooth motion that makes both of you gasp. Her breasts bounce more noticeably with the increased movement, and you can't help but slide one hand up from her ass, up the curve of her waist, until your palm cups her breast through the tank top.
Her nipple is hard against your palm. You roll it between your fingers, and Jimin moans. A real sound, unguarded, and her hips stutter in their rhythm. "Don't stop," you tell her.
Her pace settles back into something steady, a little faster than before, her thighs flexing with each rise and fall. Your cock slides in and out of her perfect pussy, slick and hot and so fucking tight around you. The sound of it fills the room. Wet and rhythmic, obscene in the quiet morning, and somehow that makes it better. Knowing what you sound like together. Knowing you're making those sounds.
Jimin braces her hands on your chest, using the leverage to ride you deeper. Her head tips back, exposing the long column of her throat, and you watch her move on top of you with something approaching reverence. The way her body undulates. The way her breasts sway beneath the cotton. The way her lips part around soft sounds of pleasure. "God," she breathes. "You feel so good inside me."
You thrust up to meet her on the next stroke, and she cries out. A sharp, surprised sound that dissolves into a moan as you do it again. And again. You're timing it now, driving up when she comes down, and the rhythm locks in. You're both moving together, perfectly synced, like you've been doing this for years instead of minutes.
The pace builds gradually. Her eyes are closed. Head tipped back. Lost somewhere inside herself, inside the sensation, inside the place where pleasure builds and builds until it becomes impossible to contain. You can feel it in her body. The way her pussy grips you tighter with each stroke. The way her rhythm becomes less controlled, more instinctive. The way her whole frame trembles with the effort of chasing something that's just out of reach.
"Oh god," she breathes, shaky and desperate. "Oh god, oh god—" Her pace becomes erratic. Faster, harder, grinding down against you. Her breasts bounce beneath the rumpled tank top, nipples dragging against the fabric, and the sounds she makes are the sweetest thing you've ever heard. Soft, broken moans that spill from her lips without permission. Little gasps and whimpers that she can't seem to control. "I'm close," she manages. "I'm so close, I'm going to—"
"Cum on my cock,” you say, guiding her hips. “I want to feel you cum, Jimin. Let go."
She cries out. Her rhythm shatters completely, hips jerking in uncoordinated movements as she chases the edge. You thrust up into her, faster, giving her what she needs, and you watch her face as she breaks apart. The orgasm finally hits her. Her whole body goes taut, spine arching, mouth falling open in a silent cry that finally releases as a long, trembling moan. Her pussy clenches around you in rhythmic pulses, squeezing your cock so tight it almost hurts, and you can feel the rush of wetness as she comes undone.
She's beautiful when she cums. The way her face transforms, all the tension and control stripped away, nothing left but pure, unfiltered pleasure. The way her body moves through it, riding the aftershocks, her hips still twitching against yours even as the peak begins to fade. Her moans taper off into soft, breathless sounds. Little whimpers of oversensitivity as her body comes down from the high. She's trembling, her thighs shaking on either side of your hips, and when she finally opens her eyes, they're glazed. Unfocused. Lost in the aftermath.
She collapses against you. Her full weight settles onto your chest, warm and boneless, and you catch her automatically. Wrap your arms around her. Hold her close while she breathes against your neck with her heart hammering so hard you can feel it through her ribs. "That was..." she starts, but doesn't finish. Doesn't need to. You turn your head and she lifts hers and then you're kissing, deep and tender, lips soft against yours, her tongue sliding lazily against your own, and you could stay like this forever. Wrapped up in her, surrounded by her, still buried inside her.
But your cock is still hard. Still aching. Still desperate for release. Slowly you roll her over. She makes a small sound of surprise as her back hits the mattress, as your weight settles over her. Her dark hair fans across the pillow, and she looks up at you with eyes that are still hazy with pleasure but beginning to sharpen with interest. You pull out of her.
First things first. Your underwear is still tangled around your legs, shoved down but not removed. You kick free of them impatiently, finally bare, finally unrestricted. Then her panties. The white cotton that she'd only pushed aside, that's still clinging to her hips, damp with her arousal. You hook your fingers into the waistband and draw them down slowly. Over her hips. Down her thighs. Past her knees, her calves, her ankles, until they're gone and she's completely naked beneath you except for that thin tank top.
You settle between her legs. Spread her thighs wider with your hands, making room for yourself, and she lets you. Opens for you willingly, eagerly, her breath quickening again as you position yourself.
Your cock brushes against her entrance and you both shudder. She's soaked. Absolutely drenched, her arousal smeared across her inner thighs, and when you look down at where your bodies almost meet, you can see it. The cream forming at her opening, thick and white, evidence of how thoroughly she came on your cock just moments ago.
"Look at you," you murmur, dragging the head of your cock through her folds, coating yourself in her wetness. "So fucking wet for me."
Jimin's hips twitch, trying to chase the contact. "Please."
"Please what?"
"Please fuck me again. I want to feel you inside me."
You rub your cock against her entrance one more time, teasing, watching the way her cream clings to your shaft. Then you push forward. She takes you easily this time, her pussy still loose and slick from her orgasm, and you slide into her in one smooth stroke that makes both of you groan. She's even wetter inside than before, hot and welcoming, and you can feel her walls flutter around you as her body adjusts to being filled again. You start slow. Long, deep strokes that pull almost all the way out before pushing back in. Taking your time now that the first desperate edge has been taken off, savoring the sensation of her body wrapped around yours. The bed creaks softly beneath you, a rhythmic accompaniment to the wet sounds of your cock moving inside her.
Jimin's hands find your shoulders, her nails digging in lightly, and her legs wrap around your waist to pull you deeper. Her eyes are locked on yours, and there's an intimacy to this position that wasn't there when she was on top. Face to face. Breath mingling. Nowhere to hide.
"You feel so good," she whispers. "So fucking good inside me."
You lean down and kiss her, swallowing her next moan as you sink deep and hold there, grinding against her, feeling every inch of her pussy clenching around your cock. You fuck her slowly at first, savoring every sensation, committing every detail to memory because you know this can't last. The wet heat of her pussy wrapped around your cock. The way her body yields beneath yours, soft and welcoming. The small sounds she makes with each thrust, breathy little gasps that escape her parted lips.
But your hips find a rhythm eventually. Pulling back until just the head of your cock remains inside her, then sliding forward in one long stroke that buries you to the hilt.
"Harder," she whispers. You comply. The pace increases incrementally, your hips snapping forward with more force, driving deeper into her slick heat.
Then Jimin's hands leave your shoulders. They travel down her own body, fingers trailing over her collarbones, her chest, until they reach the hem of her tank top. She grips the fabric and pulls it up in one fluid motion, bunching it above her breasts, exposing herself completely. And god. Her tits.
They're perfect. Large and full, pale as cream against the grey sheets, capped with nipples that are flushed pink and hard. They bounce with each thrust, a rhythm that matches the movement of your hips. Soft flesh rippling with every impact, swaying gently when you pull back, jiggling when you slam forward. "You like watching them?" Jimin asks.
"I fucking love watching them."
She smiles. Her hands come up to cup her own breasts, fingers spreading to contain the soft weight. She squeezes them together, lifts them slightly, presents them to you, then her fingers find her nipples, pinching lightly, rolling the hard peaks between thumb and forefinger.
The sound she makes is devastating. A low, throaty moan that vibrates through her chest as she touches herself while you fuck her. Her eyes flutter closed, lips parting, and she plays with her nipples like she's putting on a show just for you. Tugging at them, circling them, pressing down and releasing to watch them spring back.
Your pace increases again. The sight of her touching herself, combined with the tight grip of her pussy around your cock, is driving you toward an edge you're not ready to reach. You need to make her cum again first. Need to feel her fall apart beneath you one more time.
Your hand leaves its position beside her head, travels down her body, over the soft curve of her stomach, until your fingers find the place where your bodies meet. You can feel your own cock sliding in and out of her, can feel the stretch of her pussy around your shaft. And just above that junction, her clit waits. Swollen and sensitive, peeking out from its hood, begging to be touched.
You press your thumb against it. Jimin's reaction is immediate and violent. Her back arches off the bed and her pussy clamps down on your cock so hard you see stars. Her hands abandon her nipples to grip the sheets instead.
"Oh fuck," she gasps. "Oh fuck, right there, keep going, don't stop—"
Your thumb circles her clit in tight movements, matching the rhythm of your thrusts. Pressure and friction and the relentless slide of your cock inside her, all working together to push her toward the edge. Her breasts bounce freely now, no longer contained by her hands.
"That's it," you murmur, watching her face contort with pleasure. "That's it, let me feel you cum again."
Her moans become more urgent. Higher pitched, more desperate. Her hips buck against yours, meeting your thrusts with movements of her own, fucking herself on your cock while your thumb works her clit without mercy. The wet sounds grow louder, wetter, her arousal practically flooding out of her with each stroke.
"I'm gonna—" she starts, but can't finish. Her whole body is trembling, muscles tensing, pussy fluttering around your cock in a way that tells you she's right on the edge.
You press harder on her clit. Fuck her deeper. Give her everything you have. She shatters.
The orgasm rips through her with enough force to make her scream. Her spine curves impossibly, her head thrown back against the pillow, and her pussy clamps down on your cock in rhythmic pulses that threaten to drag you over with her. But that's not all.
A sudden rush of wetness, a pressure releasing, and then she's squirting. A clear stream of fluid spurts from where your bodies meet, soaking your stomach, coating your cock, splashing against your thighs. Not a lot, but unmistakable. Evidence of just how thoroughly you've wrecked her.
"Holy shit," you breathe, but you don't stop. You keep fucking her through it, keep rubbing her clit, and her orgasm seems to go on forever. Waves and waves of pleasure crashing through her, her pussy spasming around you, her whole body shaking with the force of it. And every time you thrust back in, another small squirt accompanies it. Like her body can't contain everything you're making her feel. Like she's overflowing with pleasure and it has nowhere to go but out.
"Oh my god," she's babbling, "oh my god, oh my god—"
You're relentless now. Fucking her through the aftershocks, feeling her squirt around your cock with each stroke, watching the mess spread beneath you both. The sheets are soaked. Your thighs are dripping. And still you don't stop.
You can feel your orgasm gathering, inevitable, and you know you need to make a decision about where you're going to finish.
One last long thrust. You bury yourself inside her as deep as you can go, hold there for a moment, feeling her pussy pulse around you, feeling the last tremors of her orgasm ripple through her walls. Then you pull out.
Your cock emerges glistening wet, coated in her cum and her squirt and your own precum. You shift position, moving up her body until you're kneeling over her chest, your cock positioned directly above her breasts. She knows what you want without being told.
Her hands come up immediately, cupping those perfect pale tits and pressing them together, creating a valley of soft flesh for you. She looks up at you with dark eyes, lips curved in invitation. "Cum on me," she says, seductive and utterly filthy. "I want to feel it. I want to see it."
You wrap your hand around your cock and start stroking. It only takes seconds. You're too wound up, too desperate, too overwhelmed by everything that's happened. The first spurt hits her chest with enough force to reach her collarbone, a thick rope of white against her pale skin. "Yes," Jimin breathes, squeezing her tits tighter together. "Keep going. Cum on me. Give me everything."
The second spurt lands between her breasts, pooling in the valley she's created. The third stripes across her left nipple. You groan, hand working your shaft, and you can't stop cumming. It just keeps coming, wave after wave of release, painting her chest white.
"That's it," she encourages. "Cum for me. Every last drop. I want it all." Her words drag another spurt out of you, splashing across her right breast. Your hand keeps moving, milking your cock, drawing out every last bit of cum until you're finally, completely empty.
You look down at the mess you've made. Her perfect pale tits, covered in streaks and pools of your cum. Some of it sliding down toward her stomach. Some of it caught around her hard nipples. Some of it still sitting in the valley between her breasts, warm and thick.
Jimin smiles up at you. Pleased. Satisfied. Looking at the cum on her chest like it's a gift she's been waiting for. "Come here," she says.
You shift forward, and she guides your softening cock toward her mouth. Her lips part and she takes just the tip inside. Her eyes close as she wraps her lips around you, sucking gently, her tongue swirling to clean away the remaining traces of cum. The sensation is too much on your sensitive flesh, but you don't pull away. You watch her. The way her cheeks hollow slightly with each gentle suck. The way her lashes rest against her cheeks. The way she hums contentedly around your cock like she's savoring something delicious.
When she finally releases you, there's a single drop of cum clinging to the corner of her lip. You reach down, brush it away with your thumb. Before you can pull back, her mouth opens and she takes your thumb inside, sucking it clean with the same attention she gave your cock.
Her eyes open, finding yours. "I love your taste," she says quietly, releasing your thumb.
You lean down and kiss her, tasting yourself on her tongue, and you think that this might be the closest thing to perfect you've ever experienced.
—
The morning unfolds in this weird, borrowed way. Like you've stepped into someone else's life for a bit. Domestic and quiet and strangely... normal? Jimin makes breakfast. You're planted at the kitchen island just watching her move around. You're memorizing this. The angle of her shoulders, the way she reaches for things, how natural it all looks. Filing it away in that part of your brain where you keep shit you know you'll want to remember later.
She notices you watching. The look she gives you is knowing, maybe a little amused.
You accept the plate she offers and make some comment about your inevitable starvation back in Seoul. She points out you could learn to cook. You counter that this has been definitively proven impossible. She mentions yesterday's attempt. You clarify that successfully cracking a single egg without shell contamination doesn't qualify as progress; it's barely basic human function. That gets a smile out of her. She grabs her own plate and settles in next to you. You eat together without talking. Outside, the rain keeps doing its thing.
Later, you bundle yourselves in raincoats and venture outside.
The storm's died down to a drizzle. You grab two umbrellas before heading out, even though you're both already wearing raincoats. It feels like the right thing to do. Jimin takes your hand without asking. Just reaches over and laces her fingers through yours, natural as breathing, and you start walking down the overgrown path that connects all the lake properties.
"These were all occupied when I was a kid," you say, pointing at the first house. Two-story cabin, wood siding, completely empty now. The garden's a mess: bushes everywhere, grass up to your knees. "The Choi family lived there. Three kids my age. We played together every summer."
"What happened to them?"
"Moved to Busan, I think. Dad got a job there. They sold it to some development company that bought it and then... nothing. Just left it to rot." You keep walking. More houses, all the same story. Families moved away, companies bought them, promised they'd fix them up and never did. The whole neighborhood's just sitting here empty and falling apart.
"It's sad," Jimin says, looking at one house where the roof's caved in on one side. "All these empty places."
"Everything ends eventually." You squeeze her hand. "Not always a bad thing. Sometimes it just is what it is." She doesn't say anything, but her grip gets tighter. Makes you wonder if she's thinking about endings too.
Then the lightning hits. One second you're fine, pointing out the old dock where you used to fish with your grandfather. The next second there's this massive crack of thunder and a flash so bright you can't see anything. The bolt strikes somewhere across the lake, close enough that you both freeze.
Jimin gasps and presses into you. "That was close," she says.
"Not that close. Maybe a kilometer."
"It felt close."
You pull her under a big oak tree. Yeah, you know you're not supposed to stand under trees during lightning storms. You know that's literally the worst place to be. But her hand's shaking in yours and you need to hold her for a second.
"We should go back," you say. She nods against your chest.
You walk back way faster than you came out. The umbrellas are basically useless now anyway - the wind's picked up and you're getting soaked from every direction. By the time you get to the house, you're both completely drenched and laughing about it.
—
Night hits different out here. No city lights means when the sun goes down, it really goes down. Total darkness.
You're in your bedroom changing clothes when your phone lights up on the nightstand. Honestly, you'd kind of forgotten you had a phone. Since getting here, you've basically only used the laptop for work stuff. The phone's just been sitting there, ignored. But now the screen's going crazy. One notification. Two. Three. They keep coming. Missed calls, texts, voicemails. All from the same person: Yoon-a.
Over a hundred missed calls. A hundred. Who the fuck calls someone a hundred times? Like, what level of panic or obsession even drives that? You pick up the phone anyway. Stare at the screen. From the living room, you can hear Jimin doing something. Cabinet doors opening and closing. She's looking for something.
You call her back. She answers on the first ring.
"Oh my god!” she exclaims. "Oh my god, you're alive. Where have you been? Why haven't you answered? I've been calling for days. Days. I thought something happened to you. I thought you were dead. I thought—"
"I'm fine," you say. "Yoon-a. I'm fine. Calm down."
"Calm down? Calm down?! You disappear without telling anyone, you don't answer your phone, you don't respond to texts, and you want me to calm down?"
"I just needed some time. To clear my head. Get away from everything."
"Get away from—" She stops. You can hear her breathing hard on the other end. "I watched this movie last night. This stupid movie, I don't even know why I watched it. About this businessman who loses everything. All his money, his company, his reputation. And at the end he… He shoots himself in the head."
"That's dark."
"I thought of you. Immediately. I couldn't stop thinking about you. Alone somewhere. Going through everything you're going through. And I kept calling and calling and you never answered."
"I'm flattered you think I'm that dramatic."
"This isn't funny." She's crying now, you can hear it. Small, hiccuping sobs that she's trying to suppress. "This isn't a joke. I was terrified. I am terrified. You're out there alone, not talking to anyone, dealing with all of this by yourself—"
"I'm at the lake house. My family's place. I'm fine. Completely fine."
"The lake house?"
"Yeah. I just needed to get away. I should have told you. I should have answered. I'm sorry."
There's a pause. A long, shaky exhale. "I'm sorry too," she says. "About the fight. In the elevator. I was being ridiculous. Clingy, like you said. I shouldn't have pushed you about dinner with my parents when you had so much going on. I shouldn't have made everything about me. I was an idiot."
"No." You sit down on the edge of the bed. "It's not your fault. I'm the one who should apologize. I've been distant. Distracted. I've been treating you badly for weeks, and you didn't deserve any of it."
"You've been stressed. I should have understood that. I should have given you space instead of demanding things."
"You shouldn't have had to. I should have talked to you. Explained what I was going through instead of just... disappearing."
"I love you," she confesses. "I love you, okay? And I know things are hard right now. I know the company is falling apart and everyone's giving you shit and you feel like the whole world is against you. But I'm not against you. I'm with you. No matter what happens." You close your eyes. Take a deep breath. "Come back to me," she continues. "Please. Come home. I'll take care of you. We'll figure this out together. I don't care if you lose the company. I don't care if you lose all your money. I mean—" A wet laugh. "I'd prefer if you stayed super rich, obviously. The lifestyle is very comfortable. But if you become poor, that's fine. I'll adapt. I'll support you. I'll love you anyway."
"Yoon-a—"
"Our son misses you. He's been moping around the apartment, looking for you. He keeps sleeping on your side of the bed." The dog isn't yours in any way... but you don't feel the need to correct her this time. "Are you lonely?" she asks. "There by yourself?"
You think about Jimin. In the living room right now, probably curled up on the sofa, surrounded by blankets, waiting for you to come watch a movie with her. Jimin, who kissed you this morning. Who rode you until she came. Who walked through the rain holding your hand. "No," you say. "I'm fine."
"Are you sure? Because I could come. I could catch a flight tonight—"
"I'm coming back tomorrow. The board meeting. I have to be there." You rub your forehead with your free hand. "We can talk properly then. Figure things out."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"Okay." She sniffles. Takes a breath. "Okay. Tomorrow. I'll be waiting."
"Don't cry," you say. "Not for me. I don't deserve it."
"That's not how emotions work, dummy. You don't get to decide what other people feel about you."
"Goodnight, Yoon-a."
"Goodnight." A pause. "I love you." The words hang there, waiting for a response. Three simple syllables that should be easy to say. That would be easy, probably, if you hadn't spent the last three days falling into something with someone else.
"Goodnight," you say again. "Sleep well." You end the call. The phone sits in your hand, screen dimming, then going dark. You stare at it for a long time.
Look, being a shitty person isn't like the movies. You don't sit there twirling a villain mustache or cackling while you kick puppies. You're not Darth Vader. You're not even a recognizable bad guy. You're just... you. A regular person making regular choices that happen to hurt people. You took a trip without telling your almost-girlfriend. You invited a stranger along. Held her hand. Kissed her. Fucked her until she came so hard she squirted all over you.
None of it felt villainous while it was happening. All of it was, in its own way, beautiful.
But beautiful things can leave ugly messes behind. And the people you hurt don't give a shit about your good intentions. Damage is damage, regardless of whether you meant it. So you sit there on the edge of the bed and just... feel it. The guilt. The self-loathing. That growing certainty that you've fucked up in ways you won't even understand until later.
Then you breathe. Stand up. Run your fingers through your hair and Just say "fuck it.”
You're not dealing with this now. There'll be plenty of time for beating yourself up later, back in Seoul, when everything comes crashing down. Right now? You've still got a few hours left. A few more hours in this bubble. A few more hours with Jimin.
You walk back to the living room. She's on the sofa, exactly where you pictured her, except there's a massive bowl of popcorn balanced on her lap. She looks up when you enter, and her face breaks into a smile. "I made popcorn," she announces proudly. "And before you say anything, yes, I used the stove. No, I didn't burn down the kitchen. Some of us have basic survival skills." You force a smile back. It feels stiff on your face, but she doesn't seem to notice. "Impressive," you say. She shifts to make room for you on the sofa, and that's when you notice what she's wearing.
Your shirt. The Oxford button-down, light blue, slightly too big on her. The sleeves are rolled up to her elbows and the hem falls to mid-thigh, and she looks impossibly good in it. Cozy and rumpled and unreasonably attractive. Your brain helpfully reminds you that Yoon-a loves this shirt. Used to steal it constantly, wear it on lazy Sunday mornings, always threatening to keep it for good.
The timing of that memory is really fucking inconvenient.
"You okay?" Jimin's watching your face now. "You seem kinda weird."
You shake it off. Plaster on a better smile. "I'm fine," you say. "Just tired." You drop onto the sofa next to her, close enough that your legs touch, and pull her into your side. Your arm settles around her shoulders naturally and she leans into you without hesitation. The popcorn bowl balances between you both.
For now, you're fine. You can deal with everything else later.
—
The last morning arrives with an unexpected guest: the sun. Jimin finds you in the kitchen, already dressed, already packed, already holding a cup of coffee that you made yourself. Her eyes widen slightly at the sight. "You're awake."
"I'm awake."
"You made coffee."
"I did."
She approaches the counter slowly. "How?"
"YouTube tutorial. How to Use a Coffee Maker: Tutorial for Beginners. Fourteen minutes long. Very thorough. I now understand the concept of water reservoirs and filter placement."
"You've never used a coffee maker before?"
"I've never had to. That's what staff are for." You pour her a cup, slide it across the counter. "Apparently regular people just make their own coffee every morning. Wild concept."
She takes a sip. Her eyebrows rise. "It's good."
"Don't sound so surprised. I'm a quick learner when properly motivated."
The last few hours unspool in a series of small, practical tasks. Packing bags, making calls to confirm arrangements, to coordinate schedules, to begin the process of reintegrating into a world that's been waiting impatiently for your return. Your pilot answers on the second ring. Yes, the jet is ready. Yes, everything is prepared. Yes, he'll be waiting at the scheduled time. His voice is professionally neutral, giving no indication of what he thinks about his employer disappearing for days without explanation.
Through the windows, you watch the sun climb higher, burning off the last traces of mist that cling to the lake. The water is blue now, no longer the churning grey it's been since you arrived. It looks like a postcard.
Jimin makes her own calls. You try not to listen, but the house isn't big enough for real privacy, and fragments drift toward you anyway. Words like "schedule" and "statement" and "the members are worried." She responds in tones you haven't heard from her before. More certain.
There's still food in the kitchen. More than you could possibly eat, more than made sense to order in the first place. You make a mental note to call someone, have them come clear it out, donate it somewhere useful. It seems wasteful to just leave it here to rot in an empty house.
The drive to the airfield is quiet. The jet trip is quieter still. You sit across from each other in leather seats, Seoul approaches through oval windows, and neither of you says much of anything. There's nothing left to say, really. Everything important has already been communicated in other ways. In touches and silences and the space between words. Jimin wears her disguise again. Baseball cap pulled low, face mask covering everything below her eyes.
Your car's waiting at the private terminal. You toss her suitcases in the back, hold the door open for her, then get behind the wheel. Seoul hits you immediately. Traffic everywhere. Buildings stacked on top of buildings. Twelve million people all doing their thing at once. After the quiet of the lake house, it's a lot. Too much, actually. Too loud. Too crowded. Your brain doesn't know what to do with all the stimulus.
She tells you the address and you start driving. Neither of you talks. You just navigate the same streets you've been driving for years, except everything feels off now. Like you left for a weekend trip and came back to find the city rearranged. Or maybe it's the same and you're what changed. Hard to tell.
Her building's in Gangnam. Naturally. Big glass tower with lobby security and doormen and cameras everywhere that'll definitely catch her getting out of your car. You pull up to the entrance. Put the car in park. Sit there for a moment, hands on the wheel, staring straight ahead. "I don't know what to say," you admit. "I've never been through anything like this before. There's no template. No script."
Jimin pulls her mask down to her chin, and you can see her face properly for the first time since you left the lake house. "You don't need to say anything," she tells you.
"That feels wrong somehow. Like we should mark the moment. Acknowledge it."
"We are acknowledging it. This is what acknowledgment looks like when there's nothing left to add."
You drum your fingers on the steering wheel. Outside, a man walks past with a dog. A taxi honks in the distance. The city continues, indifferent. "Will we keep talking?" you ask. "After this?"
Jimin is quiet for a moment. Considering. "I don't know," she says finally. "Let's see what happens over time."
"That's very noncommittal."
"It's honest. I don't know what I want yet. I don't know what's possible." She shrugs, a small movement. "Right now, all I know is that I need to go back to my life and figure out what that looks like. Everything else is... uncertain."
"Fair enough."
You stare out the windshield, watching a delivery truck navigate the narrow street. "It's a shame," you say. "That things can't work out. Between us."
"I'm an idol. You know how it works. Dating scandals, public scrutiny, sasaeng fans digging through every aspect of my personal life. Even if we wanted to try, the logistics would be impossible."
"I know."
"And you have a girl who likes you."
You turn to look at her. "She was never my girlfriend."
"I know. But she cares about you. That call... she was really worried."
"Did you hear—"
"Yes." She cuts you off gently. "I heard it. The walls aren't that thick."
A beat of silence. The engine hums. "I'm going to talk to her," you say. "When I get back. I'm going to be honest about what happened. About everything." You pause, meeting her eyes. "I won't mention you. I won't say who I was with. That's not my secret to tell. But I can't lie to her about the fact that something happened."
Jimin nods slowly. "That's fair."
"I don't know how she'll take it. She might hate me. She probably should."
"Maybe." Jimin's gaze drifts to the window, to the building waiting to reclaim her, to the life she's about to step back into. "But you should do what you think is right. Whatever that looks like for you."
"What I think is right," you repeat. "That's a terrifying amount of freedom."
"Welcome to being an adult. It's mostly just making decisions and hoping you don't fuck everything up."
"You're very wise for someone who was crying on a park bench two weeks ago."
"Growth happens fast when you're forced into it." Her lips curve slightly. "Besides, I learned from the best. Some random guy who talks too much and can't operate a coffee maker."
You both laugh, and it feels good. Easy. Like maybe this doesn't have to be the end of everything, even if it's the end of this particular chapter. She reaches between the seats and retrieves her suitcases from the back. Two small bags, barely enough for a weekend, containing everything she brought to a trip she never planned to take. She opens the door, but she doesn't get out. "Sometime," she says, "we should get coffee. You and me."
"Coffee."
"We're still strangers, technically. Two people who met once in a park and then spent a few days in a bubble that doesn't count as real life. But I'd like to be your friend. If that's something you'd want."
"That would be cool," you say. "Yeah. I'd like that."
"Good." She pauses, glances at the door. Then back at you. "You're a good person," she says. "I know you don't believe that. But I do."
Before you can respond, she leans across and presses her lips to your cheek. A soft, brief contact, there and gone. Then she pulls her mask back up, hiding the lower half of her face, becoming Karina again before your eyes. "Good luck," she says. "With the meeting. With everything. It'll work out for you. I know it will." And then she's gone. Out of the car, through the building entrance, swallowed by the elevator and the security guards and the life that's been waiting to reclaim her.
You sit there for a while. Engine idling. Watching the space where she used to be. Good person.
You don't know how true that is. The evidence suggests otherwise, honestly. The choices you've made. The way you've hurt people without meaning to, without even fully understanding the damage until it was already done. Nothing is fixed. Not your company. Not your relationships. Not who you are or who you could become. Everything is still in motion, still being decided, still waiting for you to make the next choice.
Your phone buzzes. A text from your assistant. Thirty minutes until the meeting starts. You look at the message. Look at the building where Jimin disappeared. Look at the road ahead.
If you can save your company (and you're going to try, you're going to fight like hell), then maybe other impossible things aren't so impossible either. Maybe the logistics that seem insurmountable right now will look different in six months. A year. Maybe being an idol and being with someone doesn't have to be mutually exclusive. Maybe you just need to prove to yourself that you can actually fix something before you try to build something new.
One problem at a time. That's how you survive.
You put the car in drive. Pull away from the curb. Merge into traffic, becoming just another vehicle in the endless flow of the city. The meeting is in thirty minutes. The board wants your head. The investors have lost faith. Everyone is waiting for you to fail.
But you're not going to fail. Not today. Not if you have anything to say about it. And when you've saved the company - when, not if - you're going to call Jimin. You're going to take her up on that coffee. And you're going to see what's possible when two people stop pretending and start trying for real.
An Yujin x Male Reader, LIGHT femdom, smut, possessive Yujin
Word Count: 17.5K
A/N 1: First ever writing published! Took me quite some days to pour my heart in it and finally finished the plot... Please bear with me as there is definitely a huge room for improvement :).
A/N 2: Although I am fluent, I'm not a native English speaker so please forgive my grammar mistakes here and there ...hehe.
Plot Summary: You being the loudest yapper in your own Discord server, yet the most quiet nerd in the public. Yujin makes sure this mistake gets corrected, using her own ways...
You claim you are an expert in relationships, yapping in front of your friends that the only reason why you are still single is because you didn’t try. Your friends, of course all guys, half-jokingly accepting this title besides the fact that you become the sole member of the Discord gaming server that had not been dating someone.
Your first year in college is composed by a dorm room with dozens of Kpop girl group posters, flashy RGB lights on your gaming PC and 10,000 cumulative hours on Steam games throughout the years. As a STEM major, your life is basically going to class, dining hall for meals, and instead of heading out for some social life, you stay in and spend hours of your free time playing FPS games with friends, with some limited-edition girl group Photo cards, carefully sleeved and placed on your mousepad. “I’m living a good life right now, no? Who says I must date someone to not feel lonely? I got my bros and my wives with me.” You say to yourself one in a while.
God knows how mistaken this was.
With a somewhat naive heart and immature mind, you thought answering the most math problems in class during middle school is the key ingredient to one’s rizz. You felt weirdly confident that asking a girl out is like a walk in the park with your mathematics fueled brain and a skinny body. And so, it was the prom season and you were starting your great plans. But plans are always just plans, the 3 straight rejections in a row, over the span of one week was the final hammer destroying your self-confidence.
“There is no way that I get rejected by these girls who scored 30% lower than me in the Algebra class Final!” You complained to your friends and received a series of laughter.
-
Your self-confidence was at the rock bottom but the ego is still there. Moving to a new town for high school as your family planned, you decided to start over again but this time you promised to yourself that you won’t get defeated shamefully like how you did in middle school. But your way of approach is unique, rather than go all in and improve yourself overall, you decided to not try at all.
“I’m a damn genius,” You murmured to yourself, “If I just don’t talk to girls, I won’t get rejected by girls. Hahahaha” The logic felt strangely well so you had made your decision. Four years had passed, and the few friends who you made in high school only remembers you as an introvert game-addict kid who was good at math and instruments, before each heading towards different towns for college.
You thought college would be the same, you can keep hiding behind the screen and try to persuade yourself that admiring and becoming a fan of Kpop idols are enough for your romantic need.
You made a second mistake.
-
Your college is famous for its dead social scene. You don’t see parties going around your dorm, you rarely see Frat and Sorority hosting events with everyone dressing up like you only knew they looked like some cowboys and cowgirls.
Library and dorm rooms are the preferred place for your classmates. Especially STEM ones. This day, you made a right turn after walking out of the dining hall instead of heading back straight towards your dorm because you have a Linear Algebra final on the next day so you are studying in the library.
You make it there, pushing open the door of the quiet floor of the library, you feel like this place welcomes you more compared to the dining hall which just keeps blasting whatever music that comes into the manager’s mind. You smell a scent of old books as well as plugged computer chargers (yes you can actually smell that). You take a quick glance around the floor looking for empty seats, only to realize almost every open place is captured by students in grey/black hoodies, with an iPad on their table and a can of Celsius along with lifeless eyes on their faces.
You smirk as you look at the sign which says “No Food or Drinks in the Library”. Difficult times it is, so probably they won’t be strict towards the rules as everyone is already suffering through the Finals Season. You drop your stuff on the chair next to you and sitting down. Suddenly you feel like someone is walking towards you, the seat at the very corner of the library.
“Sorry, this seat was taken, I was using the washroom.” You hear a feminine voice from behind.
Your nerves quickly react before turning around. You take a quick look and indeed see a backpack placing right beneath the chair you just put your stuff on, but the table is empty.
“I... I’m sorry, I didn’t see your stuff under the chair. I’ll go.” You grab your backpack in a smooth motion like a parabola and stand up. After years of lack in conversation with girls, you make a quick decision to escape the scene and avoid any further interactions with this girl before even looking at her at all.
“Chill, you are good. I only need this one seat, you can stay.” She speaks with a really cool and emotionless tone while gently pressing her palm on your shoulder, sending electric shocks through your spine without noticing it.
You panic. You turn your upper body slightly so that you can see her from your 5 o’clock. You try your best to ease your tighten facial muscles and give a polite smile to her.
“Al... alright, I’ll stay then.” You obey her words without realizing it.
“An Yujin.” She introduces her name. In this split second, you finally get a chance to take a quick scan on her. She doesn’t feel like she belongs in the library, you are honest to yourself that she looks stunning. Contrasting with the lifeless hoodies and loose PJ pants near you, she wears a short, white tank top with a plain black leather jacket - unzipped - showcasing the smooth skin around her waist. Crazily long legs are wrapped under a tight pair of jeans indicates the perfect curve of hers. The Dr. Martens boots add an inch or two in height, makes you almost have to look above to see her face. She has really alluring eyes, with carefully done eyelashes alone with grey contact lenses that you almost lose yourself in. The flashy metal necklaces remind you to stop looking before it gets too suspicious. You feel like you won’t be surprised if she tells you she is in the Kpop Dance Club on campus.
“Y/N, n... nice to meet you.” You still try to play it cool but the crack in your voice betrayed you. You quickly turn around and sit down, keeping your arms tightly tugged to your body and try to play it safe.
“You look like that nerd who always sits at the very front row in my Linear Algebra class, no?” Yujin raises her eyebrows, with a seemingly innocent smirk on her face, showing the dimples on her cheek.
“H...how do you know me? I’ve never seen you before in the class.” You hesitate for a second, only to realize it is just the inevitable so you respond.
“You know it is hard to not know when you answer every question the professor asks, right?” The “right” at the end sounds like a teasing, at least you guess that’s what she intends as her smirk gets wider.
“I wouldn’t go to that class at all if it is not because of the fucking participation points.” That smirk on Yujin’s face disappears, as you are indeed aware of the course policy punish the class-skippers.
“T...then why did you pick this class? And it is the Final exam tomorrow, how are you going to pass?” You try to claim some authority but surely you do absolutely no damage to her as the playful yet teasing smirk reappears on Yujin’s face. “Well, I only need to pass this Math elective thingy to finish up my minor’s requirement and I can get it out of the way.” You realize she’s at least a year older than you, despite you are already ahead in the classes.
“Well you asked me how I’m going to pass the class and I’m telling you exactly how. I was trying to grind today and pray probably Gemini or Chat will do me a favor and have everything I need to know into some bullet points.” Yujin plays a sad face, but only in a blink of an eye, she turns from the iPad on her laps towards you and smirks, “but I guess it is my lucky day isn’t it? The smartest nerd in the class decides to sit next to me, and I’m sure you don’t mind to go over the Study Sheet with me and instruct me on how to find an Eigenspace for a linear transformation, right?”
Her words doesn’t sound like a question but more like an order that you don’t dare to disobey. “Probably teach her some stuff and part ways, after today I will go back to my screen and keep my way of living my college life.” You thought to yourself.
The third mistake had been made.
“O...ok, but I’m NOT a NERD!” You try to act strong but obviously she doesn’t buy it.
“Ok nerd!” The evil smile on her faces tells you that she’s the one in charge.
-
Hours had passed at the corner of the library and you already tried three different excuses to dip. But each time Yujin’s aura just keeps you trapped there like a magnetic field.
“Hmm, you have to go for a club meeting? I don’t think so. You can go after I’m done copying the key for the Finals Practice.” She stares right into you, and you are frightened.
“O..ok, I guess it’s the finals week, they shouldn’t have anything important.” You finally give up and just hand your notes to Yujin and pull out your phone.
“That’s it, such a good boy.” Yujin teases.
“Don’t call me like that! It’s not like I owe you anything.” You decide to act tough instead of letting her keep treating you like that so you try to grab your notebook back from her hands.
But at the exact moment you touched her wrist, your instinct makes you pull your hands back like you had touched something toxic. Holding hands are for lovers, but you haven’t even touched a girl’s hand, Yujin’s wrist is ice cold, but soft. It was just a split second but you can feel it.
“What’s wrong?” Yujin turns around and asks.
“No.. nothing.” You feel some heat on your face, you are glad that Yujin quickly put her focus back to the notes. Otherwise, you have no idea how is she going to make fun of you.
- Another hour, your stomach starts to protest for the lack of nutrients.
“Hungry already? Well, I guess I am too. Let’s go get some food and drinks at the K-Barbecue nearby. I got you covered.” Yujin smirks as she hears the noise coming from your stomach.
“No.... th...thank you for the offer, but I usually eat at the dining hall.” It is the chance you had been waiting for; it is the chance to bail you out of this awkward interaction. You just want to go back to your dorm and probably stare at your girl group posters on the wall instead of interacting with this stunning yet a bit possessive girl in the library.
“I said I got you covered.” Yujin’s smirk is gone and you can see nothing but a cold stare on your face. “Don’t make me feel like a brat just bullies nerds for fun, that isn’t hard, is it?”
(But you are! You think. But of course, that’s not what comes out of your mouth)
“Well I guess I’ll go then.” You sigh.
“Hey nerd, I’m offering you a meal! Why are you this frustrated? Do you think I make you look bad if you eat out with me?” Yujin challenges.
“N...no! I... I just... had never.” You murmur.
“Never what?”
“I had never eaten out with girls before.” You totally give up, the fortress, the bubble you tried all of your high school years to build just cannot resist this storm named Yujin.
“Ah! Then you’re not just a nerd, but a VIRGIN nerd! Hahaha.” Yujin blasts into laughter but you don’t even try to argue, because the saddest part is that she is kinda right, although you had been brainwashing yourself that you are not.
Yujin then gives a loud slap onto your back and tell you to pack up quickly, which draws attention from a few other students nearby. You feel so embarrassed that you just crumble your way out of the library behind Yujin like a puppy of hers.
-
(In the Korean BBQ place nearby your campus)
The crisp sound of Yujin popping open a bottle of Soju draws your attention while you are staring at your laps for the whole time.
“Want some?” Yujin sniffs the bottle and a big smile grows on her face; the cute dimples reappear.
“What? How… how are you offering alcohol to someone who’s under 21? I turn 21 next year and before that? No alcohol for me.” You argue.
“Expected words from a nerd.” Yujin murmurs while chugging a whole glass of Soju in just a second. “But you know what? I think alcohol is a good thing in one situation, when a coward needs to be brave. Why are you even nervous? You don’t even look at me when you’re talking to me.”
“I just don’t feel comfortable.” You feel your lips become dry so you reach for your water cup.
“Hey! Isn’t that our professor?” Yujin points her delicate finger towards the entrance of the restaurant.
You quickly stand up to take a fast glance of the door, as the so called “model student”, the least thing you want to get witnessed is eating out with a girl like Yujin the night before the final exam especially when there is also a bottle of Soju on the table. But you see nothing but a crowd of loud seniors who seemingly enter here to celebrate the end of their quarter.
“I don’t see anyone. Are you just messing up with me? Honestly that scared me a bit.” You sit back down and grab your water cup, finishing it in one hell of a gulp. But it obviously doesn’t taste like water, it is spicy but has a hint of floral and strawberry scent. When you turn your sight back to Yujin, you can only see her playful yet teasing smile, still trying to play innocent.
“Y… you poured Soju into my...” You try to say something but the strong taste of the Soju makes your throat burn and your eyes watering instantly.
“Negative soldier, I didn’t pour anything to your cup.” Yujin says, while biting down the straw dipping in the cup in her hands with her cherry-red lips.
“Wait a second, there wasn’t a straw for your Soju cup….” Your heat skips a beat and probably already guessed what just happened. But to prove your lemma, you look down to your “water cup”, and a clear cherry-red mark is right at the rim.
That was it.
Yujin drew your attention away while quickly swapped her cup with yours, knowing that you’d drink it following your instinct. But the lipstick mark? That was something beyond your comprehension. You are still refusing to accept the fact that you indirectly kissed a girl.
“Hmm... this straw has some interesting taste to it.” Yujin giggles while half closing her eyes, makes you feel like she wants to figure out what’s inside you through the straw that you just nervously chewed a couple minutes ago to avoid staring into her face.
“Let it go! It is so nasty, why would you ever put that straw into your mouth? And why would you ever offer your cup to someone else? Well even you want to trick me into drinking the Soju, at least.... at least don’t let me drink it with your cup.” Your lengthy response surprisingly didn’t stutter under the influence of alcohol, instead you feel a strange heat on your face.
“oooh nerd, why is your face as red as the charcoal? Is it too hot in here? Or is it... me?” Yujin finally moves her lips out of the straw, but what comes out of them is like a sharp pierce targeting right at your weaknesses.
“H...hey! Stop teasing me like I had never talked to woman before! I’m much better in this than you thought. I’m a fucking expert when it comes to relationships.” You quickly regret what just left your mouth but it is too late. Obviously, the alcohol didn’t work in your favor as your brain just wouldn’t realize Yujin isn’t the person who you want to brag your “title” in front of her.
She quickly catches you, not missing a chance and laughs with her mouth wide open. “What the hell did you call yourself? An expert in relationships? What kind of next level bullshit is that? I thought you said I am the first girl besides your mother who eats out with you?”
“S... sorry, it is an inside joke with my friends, i... I didn’t mean to say that in front of you.” You give up, grab the Soju bottle from Yujin and chugged the whole bottle in one go.
“But fuck it, I have my own ways fulfilling my romantic needs. I got my wives with me.” You are mad at your mouth at the exact moment when you said this, wondering why wouldn’t they just shut the hell up.
“Your wives? I wouldn’t be surprised if you call some random anime characters your wife and hug a body pillow with her body on it while you sleep at night. But you know what, it is ok and I won’t blame a virgin nerd for being into stuff like this.” Yujin jokes after quickly waved and signaled the staff for two more bottles of Soju.
“No... They’re real people!”
“Hmm... but I am more curious about you.” Yujin stops in the middle, makes your body jolt a little before she continues, “I wonder why a guy with a cute face like you will be like this. A nerd with no social life.”
You can’t see any emotions on her face. You also can’t see the meaning behind her seemingly compliments.
“Don’t... don’t say that. Yujin. You are drunk.” You murmur.
“It’s been five hours since you knew my name, but it took you this long to say it for the first time.” Yujin’s cold eyes force you to lose the staring contest, otherwise you know for a fact that you’ll fall deeper into her gaze.
“It’s just the alcohol.” Your face as red as her cherry red lipstick, the color on the rim of the Soju glass in front of you. “Come on, you’ll get there once the Soju starts working.” Yujin smirks.
-
Your second bottle of Soju is down; you feel warmth on your face but fog inside your brain. The final filter between what you think and what you say out loud is gone. “Alcohol is good when a coward needs to be brave.” Yujin’s voice echoes in your head.
“H...hey, Yujin, you know what? I haven’t been rejected by a single girl since middle school! ZERO! Doesn’t that make me an expert?” You try to defend your title, without noticing you are making yourself a joke to her.
“Then why are you so scared of me?” Yujin asks.
“I... I’m not scared of you. You... you are just a bit too aggressive.” You lie but your cracking voice betrays you.
“You are not just scared, you are terrified.” Yujin says, while grabbing your phone next to your plate and turned it on.
Lock screen? Of course, another Idol. Yujin smirks before slipping your phone through her fingers back to your palm.
“Be honest with me nerd, I’m curious who are those “wives” you’re talking about.” Yujin challenges.
“Well... they are some Kpop idols. They are really... pretty and I love them. I have their posters everywhere in my room.” You confess while knowing to be honest is the only option under such an aggression from Yujin. A pitiful smile appears on her face.
"You talk big for someone who's spent four years in a bubble." she says, her voice low and dangerous. "You think they're enough to keep you warm?"
"They're enough for me," you mutter, though your pulse is lying.
"You’ve spent so long looking at girls who aren’t in the same world as you, that you’ve forgotten what it’s like to have one breathe in your face. You’re not an expert. You’re a collector. And collectors are always so protective of their little treasures, aren't they?"
She stands up, slowly zipping her leather jacket, her eyes never leaving yours.
"I want to see it. I want to see the place where you hide from the world. I want to see these 'wives' you think are so much better than the real thing."
"Yujin, it's late. I have the exam—"
"I didn't ask if you had an exam." She walks around the table, stopping right behind your chair. She leans down, her hair brushing your neck, her voice a ghost of a whisper in your ear. "I'm bored of this hide-and-seek. And I think you’ve been hiding for long enough. You’re going to take me to your room, and show me exactly what it is you’re so afraid of me seeing."
“It’s your choice nerd.” She doesn't wait for an answer and starts walking toward the door. You’re left with two choices: stay here and be the coward she says you are, or take a deep breath and dive into her.
You finally understand what Yujin said. “Alcohol is a good thing, when a coward needs to be brave.”
-
You accept her challenge.
-
When you chase her out to the sidewalk, Yujin is already yards in front of you. But your legs start picking up the pace regardless. The Soju in your system shatters your logic and all you know is to follow Yujin, even though she’s heading towards your own dorm, you aren’t the one who takes the lead.
“Hey nerd, don’t you think we are a bit too slow?” The steadily rhythm of Yujin’s boots hitting the sidewalk stops. She turns her upper body towards you with an evil-ish smile on her face.
You walk closer to her.
Closer, yet she still isn’t moving.
Closer, and you are already parallel to her.
“Yujin, why aren’t you mov...” In a blink of an eye, she grabs your wrist firmly. Firm enough to make sure you give up any thoughts to pull your hand back. Her hand is cold, like the air outside at a January night but it conducts waves and waves of heat all the way up to your face. Yet you still freeze, don’t know what to do.
“Now I also become the first girl to ever hold your hand. So make sure you follow me close, ok?” Yujin’s voice is surprisingly warm, contradicting with the firm grip of hers.
She then interlocks her fingers with yours, like a confirmation of the fact that you cannot run away from her.
Honestly, you don’t know if you want to anymore.
The January night is humid and dark, but where your fingers meet hers is like a sun.
“Yujin, I...”You are visibly nervous, voice cracking.
“Sheesh, just don’t say anything, otherwise I need ANOTHER way to keep that nerdy mouth of yours shut. Friendly reminder, that would give me another “first time” of yours.” Yujin hovers her finger on you lips, close enough for you to feel her scent from the perfume. Fresh. Flowery. Alluring.
-
For many times during the walk, you tried to say something to ease the awkward situation (or probably only YOU feel like it is awkward). Either the pure absurdity of a girl like Yujin, offers to visit your dorm; or it’s your sheer nervousness of not knowing what to do when a girl holds your hand like this; or you even wanted to apologize to her as you didn’t make your room organized enough for her to come, knowing her presence there is inevitable now.
But her “warnings” had shut you up. You can hear nothing near you, nothing from the empty winter campus night before the Finals, nothing from the occasional pedestrians that exchange weird looks with each other, probably wondering how you get to hold such a hot girl’s hand with your pure frightened and nerdy face. The only sound you can hear is your heart beat, it’s only getting faster, like your GPU fans during an intense gaming session.
Are you feared for the upcoming unknowns?
Do you anticipate it even, because the protagonist is a girl like Yujin?
Do you still care your so called expert title, along with your no-talking-to-girls philosophy?
You honestly don’t know.
-
The next time you hear something, you realize you are already in the elevator, fingers still interlocked with Yujin’s.
“Which floor?” Yujin doesn’t even look at you, instead she peeks at the mirror that reflects a seemingly inharmonic image of you two holding hands silently.
“S...six.” You swallow, still yet to recover from the freezing weather outside.
Yujin presses the button, then goes silent.
You expect her to say something, probably Yujin will confess to you that it is all a prank, just to shatter a nerd’s night before a final exam. Probably Yujin will change her mind, realizing a complete noob in dealing with relationships isn’t who she wants. Probably Yujin will just disappear, and everything becomes a fever dream caused by alcohol.
Fourth.
Fifth.
Still silent.
“Ding!”
The crisp sound of the elevator drags you back to the reality, the door then slides open, the corridor welcoming you like the red carpet for the biggest stage of your life so far.
Yujin then reaches her free hand to your hoodie’s pocket like it is hers and takes your keycard in one smooth motion like she already knows where you put it.
“606.” She reads the cover of the card, with a smirk like a predator finally cornering her prey.
The familiar corridor becomes so strange, your steps becoming heavier and heavier, yet the feeling and warmth of Yujin’s fingers make you feel like you have a pair of wings.
When you finally reach your room, your hand is already trembling, and Yujin taps the card on the reader. The green light goes up. The door handle is then turned, and Yujin gestures you to get in first like it is her place.
You obey.
“Are you going to welcome me to your bubble.” Yujin stops at the door, raising her eyebrows. “Or are you going to shut the door and pretend nothing happened? It is never too late for you to be a coward and fold.” Her tone is challenging yet taunting at the same time, like she is already certain that you don’t dare to just lock her out.
“P....please come in, my first ever visitor.” You take a deep breath and close your eyes.
The door is then shut, Yujin steps in.
-
The room is left exactly the same as before you left earlier today, but the difference is that there is one extra person in it.
The RGB computer case is still shining, the fans roaring but still too quiet to cover your intense heart beat. Dozens of posters hanging on your walls from a variety of Kpop girl groups along with a few sheets of math worksheets randomly spread across the workspace. Below the table are stacks of empty energy drink boxes that you are too lazy to recycle yet. Everything is so peaceful, before tonight.
Yujin is right next to you, her perfume which you have no idea which brand it is from, aggressively capture your room and replaces the smell of computer coolants, energy drinks and laundry sheets.
She is still yet to say anything. She takes a glance of your room like a visitor in a museum, or rather, in this shrine of yours that you never shared with anyone else before.
In this room, you were the expert.
In this room, you brainwashed yourself that Kpop idols are enough to keep you from being lonely.
In this room, you became the pro gamer that yaps about everything, let aside of your quiet mouth in public.
In this room, you created the perfect bubble to isolate you from the real world.
But also in this room, you have the girl who you realized just now that will change your world in one night.
-
Yujin then pulls out your gaming chair, which you spent 2 months of dining stipends to acquire. She then puts her leg on top of your desk, lying back on the chair while staring on the posters of yours.
“Hmm, let’s see my rivalries.” Yujin finally breaks the silence, but with a dangerous, low tone.
“My rivalries.” That’s what Yujin just called your idol “wives”. You stand frantically behind her, teeth clenching.
“They are perfect for you, nerd. Don’t you think so? They are pretty, they are quiet, they make you feel like you are in control.” Yujin murmurs with a barely audible tone, like a demon whispering to your ears.
“They stay where you want them to be. They always welcome you home with the sweetest smiles they have.” She keeps pushing.
“Yujin, please, it’s just how I like...”you don’t get to finish, for sure.
“But most importantly, they don’t reject you. Never.”
“Reject.”
This word hits you like a lightning. Yujin is a guest in your room, yet she knows your secrets like she is the owner of this space.
The game is over.
“I can see you are starving, nerd. But you are feeding yourself with papers.” Yujin carefully picks up the sleeved, limited version photo cards on your mousepad. The ones that you gave up a lot of fortune to obtain from the collectors.
“Honestly? This one is really nice, and this, she is stunning. This? Adorable face.” Yujin smirks with tease and pity both on her face.
“But they don’t take your heart away tonight.” Yujin’s smirk disappears, while she puts each photo card face down on your mousepad. One by one. Your heart is hammering your chest.
Yujin stands up and approaches you. Her boots tapping the carpet, you back up. She walks even closer, your back hits the closet.
She reaches out, her fingers hooking firmly into the fabric of your hoodie, and yanks you forward until your chest is a heartbeat away from hers.
"Look at you," she whispers, her eyes scanning your face with a dark, terrifying clarity. "You’re trembling. Your heart is trying to hammer its way through your ribs. And yet, you haven't moved an inch toward that door."
She tilts her head, a slow, predatory smirk spreading across her lips. She isn't threatening to go; she’s highlighting the fact that you’re staying.
"You could have stopped this at the library," she murmurs, her voice dropping to a low, possessive register. "You could have walked away at the restaurant. But you didn't. You followed me all the way back to this little cage of yours. Why, nerd? Why is a 'scared' little boy like you standing here, letting me take over his room?"
This is a trap. Your older self tries to fire one last time—to make an excuse, to blame the alcohol—but the words die in your throat. You look at her, and for the first time, you stop trying to pretend you're a victim of circumstance. You realize that every step you took tonight was a step toward this exact moment.
"Because I wanted you to," you confess, the truth feeling like a physical weight leaving your chest. Your voice is raw, stripped of all the defenses you built for the past four years.
You take a shuddering breath, looking directly into her grey contacts, offering up the last of your pride.
"I don't want to be an expert anymore. I just want... whatever you're going to do to me."
The silence that follows is electric. You aren't just a "nerd" she caught; you are the prey that walked into the trap and closed the door behind yourself.
"Finally," she whispers, her thumb grazing your lower lip with a touch that feels like a branding iron. "The truth. I knew you were a fast learner. You've spent your whole life watching, nerd. Now, you're going to learn what it's like to be handled."
Before you can react, her lips catch yours. Your body jolts at the exact moment of contact. Her lips are full and juicy, with a scent of the Strawberry Soju earlier tonight and her lipsticks. She savors your lips carefully, upper then lower, each time she her lips move, your spine just feel like waves and waves of electrons launching into your brain.
Several groans leave your throat out of your control, she then bites your bottom lip lightly, just enough for you to stop making sounds. And she pulls back. It wasn’t a wet and messy kiss like you thought a girl like Yujin would give you. It was more like a statement, popping the bubble you had forced yourself to live in.
“Say bye-bye to your first kiss, nerd. But buckle up because it is just the beginning.” Yujin lifts your chin up by her delicate finger, forcing you to stare right into her. You don’t know what’s behind those grey contacts, but you are certain you want to see it.
Yujin then places her palms on your shoulders. Before you can figure out what happened, she shoves you onto your bed. The mattress bouncing you back like a protest as it experiences twice of the weight than it normally should.
Yujin then kicks off her boots; laps crossed over your waist and staring down at you like a predator. Yet, you know for a fact that you are her willing prey. Your breath is messy, yet your body is honest. The tent is visible through your sweatpants. “Uhh ohh, don’t you think I can’t feel it, are you seriously enjoying being beneath a girl?” Yujin’s teasing smirk drives you even crazier.
“Yes... Yujin, please... everything.” Your brain is overflow by the adrenalines that you don’t acquire from playing video games, you can’t process logic and language anymore.
She then leans down and kisses you, this time it is much messier one. Her tongue swiftly crosses your mouth and finds yours, swirling. She places her palm around your neck, and for sure she can feel your pulse is probably above 200 Bpm already so she lets you go, with a thin line of saliva connecting your lips and hers.
“Damn nerd, I’d better stop kissing you otherwise you are going to have a heart attack.” She says with a surprised and amusing tone.
“Did that make you feel this excited?” She asks, biting her lower lip and eyes half closed.
“You taste so good, Yujin.” You lift your head up to seek her lips. She pushes you back to the mattress with both of her palms.
“Don’t get too cocky nerd, I told you you are mine tonight, so you take whatever I give you, otherwise I’d walk out of that door right now and you can finish yourself in your dreams. Understand?” Yujin whispers, just to remind you who’s the one in charge.
“Yes. Ma’am.”
“You’d better hold on tight. It’s going to be the best night of you’ve ever had, that you didn’t even dare to dream of in your wildest fantasies.” Yujin puts her lips right onto your ear, the air flowing into your ear canal makes your body jolt.
-
You realize this is really happening when Yujin swings her leather jacket off her body, just randomly throws it on your gaming chair.
Before you can process, you find your palms naturally locating her waist and hovering on her. It is less than an inch, your hands can already feel the heat of her silky skin. Yet you don’t dare to touch it, because Yujin didn’t ask you to.
“Ah, I see it, our nerd wants to touch me. Do you?” Yujin leans in. You can feel her breath brushing your neck, making you itch, but it cannot brush off the most primal desire that you had never experienced before.
You nod frantically, waiting for her permission.
Yujin doesn’t say a word, instead she just smirks and takes your hand and presses them onto her waist, sliding it up and down. It is so smooth and warm. Your eyes are already half-closed, your pulse gets messier because of the feelings from your hands.
“God, it is so different.” You squeeze out a few words.
“I bet it feels much nicer than when you rub your fingers on those photo cards or posters alone.” Yujin says, while she moves your hands inside her white tank top.
Your fingers are literally trembling and hands shaking, as your remaining logic knows where this is going to end up.
There was it. Yujin lets go of your hands and nods at you as a signal for you to “explore”, while she pulls off her tank top in one smooth motion.
You stop. Too frightened, or rather confused how to react to the scene before you. Yujin still sits on top your laps while you lie on the mattress on your back, but there isn’t a piece of fabric covering her upper body besides her plain black bra.
You hands roaming around her chest, a finger nervously taps her nipple, as a way to ask for her permission to proceed.
“Go ahead nerd, show me what’ve you got and you better make me feel good.” Yujin murmurs and your hands immediate move like a horse off its leash.
You grab a handful of her gorgeous breast and gently squeeze it while tickling her nipples through the fabric. A few moans filled with enjoyment and lust escape from Yujin’s throat, like a compliment to your effort.
That’s not enough, so you sit up and plant your face right into her chest and give the deepest inhale of your life. You greedily sniff her and your brain is immediate filled with nothing but her gorgeous scent. Her expensive perfume, her body wash, and the smell of hormone all together, pushing you to an abyss.
You bite her tits through her bra lightly and teasingly, right before sucking them with your lips. When you see Yujin’s pupils behind that cold, grey contact are starting to dilate and the moans becoming more primal, you realize it is time to take this final barrier away.
So you move your arms from her waist to her back, attempt to remove the final piece cover of her full and beautifully shaped breasts. But the sensory overload and the lack of experience fails you.
Yujin giggles while looking your fingers desperately trying to undo her bra. “That’s so cute of you trying but I guess the first-timer needs some help don’t you?”
A few groans leave your throat. She then reaches her back and unhooks the bra in an agonizing fashion. Contrasting to your hunger and lust in you gaze, she slowly pulls the bra down, revealing a stunning scenery right in front you.
“Oh my God, it is so beautiful.” You murmur, while your lips automatically position on her nipple. Just like tasting the cherry on top of a cake, you carefully put her nipple into your mouth and give it a nice lick, wet and slow.
“Hmm, good.” Yujin hums.
You then swirl you tongue around her tits, drawing circles back and forth. Her body jolts each time when the tip of your tongue makes contact with her nipple, the obscene wet sound coming out of your lips keeps pushing Yujin to an edge.
Yujin holds the back of your neck, grabbing your hair while pressing your face closer to her chest.
You gasp, you feel like the air in your lung is replaced by the most alluring and feminine scent you’ve ever smelled. Yet, you don’t stop the movement of your tongue, faster and faster.
“Hmm, shit, just like that, you are such a good boy.” Yujin murmurs, while you leave a wet pop as you pull your head back for air. Then you immediately dive back for the other nipple.
The fan of your computer is still roaring, but you can’t hear anything but your own hammering heart and Yujin’s occasional moans. You savor her other nipple nice and slow like a lollipop, saliva mixes with her sweat.
The time feels slow, after what you feel like a century, Yujin finally releases you from this paradise, pulling your face away from her. But you want more, so you look at her, breath breaking.
“I have no fucking idea where you learned all that from,” Yujin gasps, “But before anything else, you are going to answer me, which one feels better.” She then stops, while she starts to slowly unzip her jeans.
“Jerking off alone with those posters, or having me on your bed?” She lets her jeans slide down from her insane long legs, while looking at you with her eyes that are obviously faking to be innocent.
“You Yujin, definitely.” You react fast and are on your knees next to the bed already, while Yujin sits on the edge of your bed, looking down at you. “That was the answer I thought too. I’m glad to see you are being honest, and my good little boy should get his reward, yes?”
“Yes Yujin, please... anything.” You beg, not a bit of your tone sounds like your old self even just a day before. You are already lost in desires, you don’t even try to think how dumb and silly you sounded like.
“Hmm, then I am going let you show me how much you want me here.” Yujin stretches her elegant yet alluring legs and put her ankle right on your shoulders.
You swallow hard, as now all you can see are her juicy thick thighs and her white cotton panties, with a damp mark in the center. You must be honest with yourself that you’ve never seen this in person, but you are certain the wetness on her panties means she’s aroused.
“Why are you staring nerd?” Yujin teases you with a low tone.
“Because you are so beautiful.” Those words don’t even need any of thinking.
“Then what do you want to do to me?” Yujin raises her playful tone just a little bit, but already enough to turn you on even more.
“I.... I want to taste you.” Your face is as red as the LED lights on your PC, but you don’t know if it is arousal or embarrassment.
“More.”
“I... I want to dive my face in your thighs and lick them.” Your instinct knows more than you thought before.
“Mhm, and then?” Yujin giggles, although you can’t see her face.
“I... I also want to taste your.....your.....” You stutter, not sure what word to use as for sure you never needed to think about it.
“My pussy?”
“Y... yes.”
“Then ask nicely nerd.”
“Yujin... please, may I taste your pussy?”
Yujin then laughs with her teeth as she puts her fingers onto the waistband of her panties. Slowly, she pulls it down like an artist revealing her new statue.
Artist indeed. Her pussy is pink and already damp, with carefully trimmed hair around the entrance. You can’t wait for any longer, your primal side of your mind makes you stick your face right into it.
You take a deep breath, but there isn’t any unpleasant smell from her pussy. It is her hormone, arousing and addictive at the same time. You lick it with your tongue, inserting it half way into her pussy and just move it up and down, left and right.
The soft and warm feeling of her walls wraps around your tongue, and you can feel Yujin’s body jolting. She lets out a soft moan, making you itch even more and you realize your pants is at the breaking point due to your length.
“Yujin, can I please take my clothes off?”
“Not yet babe, gotta make me feel it first.” Yujin smirks, while rubbing her finger on her clit. “Try my clit here, do it gently, it is sensitive.”
“W.... what is clit?”
“Hell, where did the smartest nerd in my class go? Don’t mess with me. Or? Is it because you are a virgin and have no idea what I’m talking about?” Yujin’s smirk is gone, but you can tell she isn’t mad at you.
“Yes...”
“Yes what?”
“I....”
“You’d better answer carefully.” The possessive edge of her tone is surprisingly alluring. Something in your mind is turned on.
“I’m a fucking virgin and I can’t hold it anymore! Yujin, please let me...” You shout, even half crying.
“Oh, my poor little boy, I can see the desperate tears in your eyes.” Yujin’s tone softens, but immediately becomes teasing, “I guess it is time for the next step?”
You nod frantically, while your hands already positioned onto the waistband of your sweatpants. “Take it off.” Yujin commands, with a split second, you are already naked, standing right before her.
Your length is released like it has been held in positions by a spring, the moment your boxers are down, it bounces up to the air, already twitching and the pre-cum is all over the place.
Yujin doesn’t say a word, she stares at you silently, taps the bed as a signal for you to get back on. So, you do, you are lying in the bed again, and Yujin slowly approaches you, until her pussy is inch away from your face.
“Keep tasting it baby boy. By the way, you got a good cock for a virgin nerd, fuck... it’s getting me wet.” She puts one finger into her mouth while speaking, eyes half closed.
She turns around then sits down right on your face, forces you to get smothered in her scent. You grab her bouncy ass with both of your hands, rub and squeeze it into different shapes.
“Shit, your butt is so juicy.” While your hands enjoy the texture of her butt, you keep your mouth working nicely around her pussy, tongue drawing gentle circles around her clit, sucking it every now and then.
Yujin hums amusedly, while pulling your shirt above your chest. She quickly notices your nipples are hard as well, though certainly not as full and big in size compared to hers.
Yujin then teases your nipples with her soft, delicate fingers. The warmth of her fingertip contrasts with the coolness of her press-on nails. Your body trembles each time she brushes your nipple.
“Oh shit, just like that Yujin, you make me feel so good.” Your voice cracks from the sensation, but your trembling body alone is enough for Yujin to realize how much she just turned you on.
“Damn nerd, your body is shaking like you are electrocuted.” Yujin smirks, “You look like such a slut, nerd.” She then rubs it even faster, your body trembles even more, a few pathetic moans escape from your throat.
“You’re coming just by getting your nipples rubbed, mhm?” You can’t see Yujin’s face, but you know for a fact that she’s teasing you with that evil smirk.
You face is pressed towards the pillow by her juicy, thick ass. So you can only response by accelerating your tongue that’s already deep into her vagina. You also don’t forget to take care of her butt, you sniff her silky skin and worship it nicely with your hands.
“Oh shit, I can feel it coming.” Yujin murmurs, she then rides your face faster and rougher, only releases you for air when your grasp on her ass gets stronger.
You don’t see this as a punishment though, you see it as a reward. The deepest fear inside you head, which is to get rejected by girls, is perfectly solved by Yujin. You want to please her, because you know that she’ll then be the one to take good care of you and you don’t have to do anything but to obey.
You still concentrate on the movement of your tongue, trying your best to find those spots where Yujin moans the loudest. Your tongue swirling inside her, you don’t even know what you’re doing this whole time, but your hunger and lust hidden beneath that nerdy persona drove you all the way here.
“Oh...fuck... I’m coming...”Yujin’s voice starts to crack as she continues riding your face, movements become messier. She rubs her nipples and you are ready for the incoming flood.
You lick her clit with the tip of your tongue, and you feel like Yujin’s thighs are starting to shake. “Ugh fuck, I’m coming! Fucking your nerdy face makes me feel so good! Mmph. Eat mommy’s Pussy, ahhhh!” Yujin cries out loud, nails digging deep into your torso.
But you don’t feel any pain, instead you feel an intense wave of pleasure from your body to your brain, while Yujin just mercilessly releases herself right on your face. Her pussy twitches, nectar squirting out straight to your throat. You have your mouth wide open, receiving every single drop of this elixir of hers. It tastes like hormone, it tastes like desire, it taste like... Yujin.
Her body then softens after the climax and she finally lets go of your face and lies down right next to you on the mattress. You turn your face full of her nectar towards her, open your mouth, showing Yujin that you’ve got every single drop of her climax in you.
Then you swallow everything while staring right into her eyes - even lick your lips - like a puppy desperately asking for commend from his owner.
“Good boy, you made me feel real good, so mommy is going to give you what you want.” Yujin’s tone finally softens, you then plant your face into her breasts again, leaving gentle licks and soft kisses here and there, as a way to totally give in and let her own you like she did.
Yujin then supports herself on her elbow, with the other hand approaching your shaft. “Look right at me.” Her soft tone disappears, back to her old possessive, dominant voice. “Your cock is already so itchy, leaking all over the place.” She then taps the tip and draws a circle right on your urethra with her nails.
“Oh fuck... Yujin.... I’m going to come if....” Your whole body jolts, hands desperately grab the bed sheet.
“Not yet. I said you belong to me tonight, so you are not coming until I say ‘Puppy, come for mommy’, understand?” Yujin’s cold stare makes you feel even more excited.
“Yes.... mommy... anything you say.” “Repeat yourself, who do you belong to?”
“I am An Yujin’s Puppy, please use me as you like. Fuck.....” You don’t even know if you should feel ashamed by blasting out such words, but clearly that’s what your body wants you to say.
“Good boy, I like to see your slutty face begging mommy for more.” Yujin smirks. You are done with pretending that you don’t need anyone for company, you are done to act like someone who is too academic and rational to care about romances. You’ve been starving. You’ve been waiting for someone to see through those masks you put on and get you taken care of. Yujin is that savior you’ve been waiting for.
With her, you don’t need to think, you don’t need logic. All you need is to follow and obey. That’s why you don’t even try to hide your loud moan - half lust and half relief - when you finally feel her warm and soft grasp on your length.
“Fuck.....”
“You’ve been waiting for this moment all night no? My little boy.” Yujin approaches your ear and whispers. “Let me give you exactly what you need.”
“Yujin... please...”
“Don’t say anything, just feel.” She tightens her grasp just a little bit and starts to stroke your length in an agonizingly slow motion.
A few drops of clear pre-cum immediately leak out from the exit, your hips spontaneously thrust upwards, but she quickly slaps your leg to warn you, so you stop.
“Hmmm, More please....it feels so good.”
“I told you to be a quiet puppy.” Yujin takes off her panties that are still hanging around her hips, and slowly shoves it into your mouth.
And of course this can’t shut you up, her fresh, aroused scent immediate intoxicate your mind as you mumble harder while still trying to thrust for more frictions on your length.
Your eyes are closed, every nerve of your body is concentrated to the point of contact with Yujin’s soft hand. She still strokes you slowly, enjoying your aroused face with her pantie shoved into your mouth.
“Such a submissive little boy,” Yujin whispers, while steadily accelerates her movement. “Cock already so hard for me.”
“Mmhm, mmph....” you start to lose your control as she strokes you faster and faster, you nails dig deep into the sheet as if it is the final thing you can hold on to before falling into an abyss. Yet, her scent in your mouth and her motion on your shaft push you even deeper.
Yujin then leans closer to your dick, you can feel her breath brushes the tip of it. She then opens her mouth, as much as your brain is already processing the image of a hot girl like Yujin giving you a blowjob, she instead just hovers her lips right above you cock, and a thin line of her saliva drips right on your glans.
Yujin then spreads her spit out around the top of your dick, but your body starts to tremble each time her finger touches your sensitive glans. You are so desperate for release that you are dare enough to thrust into Yujin’s grasp instead of letting her stroke you.
“Hmm... my naughty little puppy is so desperate, fucking mommy’s hand with his leaking cock. Where did that smart nerd in my class go? Look at you, you are such a fucking slut right now.” Yujin murmurs while she keeps stroking your dick, while gently massaging your balls with her other hand.
You are already on the edge. Not only because the physical sensation, but also something on the mental level. Since years ago, you’ve been spending your lonely nights on your bed, hands desperately stroking your shaft, imagining what would it be like to have company. Now you do. Yujin takes good care of you and knows exactly what you need, although with some prerequisites.
Rather than feeling embarrassed by her teasing or even humiliating words, you find yourself being turned on by her evil whispers. You give in and let Yujin take over complete control over your body and your mind. Yujin then removes her pantie from your mouth which has been soaked with both of her nectar from her earlier orgasm and your saliva.
You breathe heavily with your mouth as the sensation down there continues to build up even more. “My baby boy, now it is your chance. Tell me how much you wanted this, how much you want to release in mommy’s hand.” Yujin approaches your face, those big eyes filled with lust blinking right in front of you.
“Ooh fuck.... Yujin. I can’t hold it anymore, you made me feel so good. Ahhh.” You voice airy and cracks, you feel like your room is starting to disappear, and your entire world converges to your shaft. But Yujin stops her motion. Your already-red dick immediately twitches; the veins are visible through the skin.
“Please.... please don’t stop.” You cry out.
“I asked you to tell me how desperate you want to come, but you didn’t answer me.” Yujin smirks, while teasing your leaking length with her finger tip.
“Fuck... Yujin, you got me. I can’t.... shit.... I want to come so bad, I’ve been waiting for this all night. You are so fucking hot and everything just feels so good.” You confess.
“Tell me, am I better than those posters and photo cards?” Yujin asks.
“Absolutely.” You don’t even hesitate for an answer. It is not that you don’t love your idols anymore, but sensory overload had made you forget everything else in the world but Yujin. At this point, you would even agree to write her name on your own Final Exam tomorrow if she needs to, but that’s obviously not what what she cares about.
“Then if I let you come, will you be a good puppy of mine? Doing anything I ask you to?” Yujin keeps smirking, those dimples seem nothing but pure seduction. You cannot hold it for any longer.
“Please... Yujin.... I’ll do anything you want, you can use me however you like, just let me... ah fuck....” The moment you feel Yujin’s hand back on you, you’re like ascending to heaven.
“Good boy. I’ll count down from five and you can come.”
“Five...” Yujin strokes faster. “Tell me, did any of your idol “wives” drive you this far?”
“No...”
“Four... Three... Two...”Each count comes with acceleration from her movement. “Did any of those posters make you gasp for air like this? Like your lung is exploding?”
“No....ugh....”You are there. The flood is coming.
“One....”
“Oh fuck... Yujin.... ahhh.”
She then stops abruptly. Your dick twitching painfully in the air. A few drops of white liquid weakly flows out of your urethra. Yujin already quickly clamped both of your hands with hers before you realize you want to stroke yourself to sprint through that finish line.
You groan, even growl painfully.
Yujin winks her “innocent” eyes, then whispers to your ear. “Do you remember what I said earlier? You are not allowed to come until I say what?”
Your brain is certainly not functioning to give an answer. Yujin then continues herself, while repositioning to your shaft.
“I said, don’t come until I say, my good puppy, come for mommy.” Then she gives a soft, gentle kiss on your dick.
“Ahh.. An Yujin!”You are ruined. You explode. You reach the climax. You squirt out strands and strands of thick, hot cum everywhere. To your tummy, to the bedsheet, to your legs and leave out marks everywhere, showing your total surrender into Yujin.
The orgasm lasted so long that your body starts to tremble violently upon your release. You hands dig into the bed to the point your joints become white. Your ears are ringing, eyes black out. Your brain feels overwhelmed by the flooding dopamine.
Meanwhile, Yujin just stares at you with a smirk while your dick wildly sprays your nectar with your face filled with nothing but lust and arousal. You feel like minutes had passed, your dick finally puts its head down. You breathe heavily, inhaling each molecule of air you can to recover from this overwhelming orgasm. It is much more intense than all of your previous jerking-off-in-your-bed type of things combined.
“Hmm, look at you and the mess you just made. How cute of a good boy you are.” Yujin keeps smirking, while scooping your cum that’s dripping all over your tummy with two fingers. Then she sticks them right into your mouth. You don’t fight back letting her fingers swirling in your mouth.
“Taste your own desires, and tell mommy how do you feel?”
You don’t respond, rather you savor every bit of your own nectar on Yujin’s fingers, sucking and licking them clean and swallow everything in one gulp.
“You made me feel like I’m in heaven. Mommy Yujin. I’ve never felt anything like that before.” You let go of a airy and cracking whisper.
“Of course you can never get something like this if you don’t talk to woman at all.” Yujin smiles, while tossing you a handful of napkins. “Clean yourself up baby boy, you are a mess right now. Geez... never expected so much cum from a nerd like you...”
You suddenly start to realize what a mess you just made because of Yujin. You then wipe the semen off of your body with napkins, while your logic and mind still yet to recover from the sensory overload. “Hurry up puppy, mommy is not done playing you yet.” Yujin hugs you from behind, fingers teasing your nipples while whispering to your ear.
Your soften length immediately feel the impact, as it gets rapidly filled up with desires, wanting more despite the merciless release just now. Yujin pulls you backwards so you’re sitting on your bed with your back touching Yujin’s full, juicy breasts while she lies her back on the headboard.
You can’t see her, but her evil whisper flows into your ear. “You are already hard again, I didn’t even touch it. Looks like you want more babe.”
“Y....Yes, Yujin, please let me.”
“Let you do what?”
“Let me..... fuck..... fuck.... you.” Your voice sounds weak, contrasting to the energy and anger when you yell “Fuck you” in the Discord channel when you play games with friends.
What comes next is dead silence. The only thing that confirms you’re not deaf is the ongoing hum of your PC Fans. Other than that, it is nothing. You can’t even hear Yujin’s breath right behind you.
Following that silence is Yujin’s swift movement. In a split of a second, she’s already repositioned herself in front of you. She then puts her palms in your shoulder and pushes you all the way back until your back hits the headboard. Yujin then climbs up and sits on top of your laps, staring down at you with a predatory gaze and a cold face.
You froze for a bit, your weak and confused gaze is soon defeated by Yujin. “Well, well, well, seems like our puppy isn’t in his place. I said you are mine tonight, so you’re not the one in charge.” She approaches you, puts her breast into your mouth.
You quickly take in her breast, sucking it gently with your hands cupping them and worship them nicely. “But mommy is kind, so I am not gonna reject you.” Yujin’s smile becomes warmer; the scary vibe had been gone in a blink of an eye. “But I have to make it VERY, VERY clear.” She lifts her body up, her pussy hovers right on top of your erected length, you can feel it. You can feel it is just an inch away, if you dare enough, you can lift your hips and it’ll go straight in and you can take the “virgin” prefix off your name.
“Please Yujin… just let me get in already…” You cannot even try to hide your anticipation.
“Reminder. It’s me fucking you instead, puppy.” Yujin smirks, while sits down all the way to the bottom of your length. Your dick is immediately being embraced by her wet, warm pussy. You already forget the orgasm you just had a couple minutes ago, that primal desire makes you groan loudly. “Mommy, fuck me… please…”
“Shit, nerd…your thing is fucking big” Yujin murmurs, while slowly lifting herself up before sitting down on you again. Your dick is already sensitive because of her juice nicely lubricates the point of contact, each time she moves, you feel like it is a vacuum attempting to suck away all the essence you have left. But you hold on tight, mouth still worships Yujin’s tits nice and slowly. You then place your hands on her insanely juicy ass and starts rubbing it. The bouncy texture is just another level, compared to when you hover your hands on the posters on the ball.
“Tell me… are you enjoying it?” Yujin whispers, while licking your ear, before giving you a gentle bite on the earlobe. You immediately feel turned on, so you suck her nipples even faster while touching her thighs and hips.
“Fuck…. I’ll take that as a yes…damn… that nerdy mouth of yours can actually do something besides answering those stupid math questions in class…mmph…” Yujin’s tone raises just a little bit, but it is enough for you to interpret it as a compliment of your mouth work.
“Ummm… mommy you taste so good, and you are so fucking tight…. I am gonna lose it.” You let out a few really obscene moans when you leave her nipples with a wet slick, hands still roaming on her flawless body.
“You like it?” Yujin dives in for a kiss, her tongue immediately crosses your lips, finds yours and swirling in your mouth like doing a waltz. You can still taste the Strawberry Soju from dinner; you greedily suck your lips to acquire more of her gorgeous scent. You don’t stop even when the kiss gets too messy that the mixture of your saliva starts sliding down your jaws.
“Look at me.” Yujin lifts your chin up, forcing you into her gaze, “From now on, you are mine. I am going to ride you senseless that you forget every one of those idols’ names.”
“Yes… mommy… please ride me.. fuck.”
“I am going to fuck you until all you know is begging me to not stop, and all you remember is my name.” Yujin continues.
“Give me.... give me all that...” You groan.
She then starts to accelerate, for each a few short and rapid ride, she mixed in a long, deep stroke that your sensitive glans gets smothered by the deepest part of her pussy, the warmest, wettest paradise. You moan even louder, vision already getting blurry from the lust and sensation.
“Fuck… I can feel it, puppy’s cock is doing its job for mommy…. Uhh…” Yujin then tickles her clit with her finger, it visibly gets pinker and wetter.
“Mmmph, it is coming….” Yujin’s ride gets even more wilder, the wet slapping sound is so obscene that your PC is protesting by turning its monitor off. The room immediately gets dimmer, only the RGB lights on the computer case and the moonlight through the curtain are left. You prefer this way though. You don’t really want Yujin to see how slutty your face is when she rides you like that. Your final bit of ego still feels ashamed if Yujin makes fun of you, although your body is honest enough to find out who it belongs to.
Yujin puts her palms on your neck, not strong enough to choke you to death, but definitely with the right amount of strength to claim authority over your body and your mind. She then applies just a little bit of pressure, while smirking evilly at you, “Baby boy, tell me, how much you wanted all this since the library.”
“Fuck…. I’ve been waiting for this moment for my entire fucking life.” Your voice cracking, but you don’t forget to sniff her breasts and draws little circles on her nipples, making her body jolt.
“I’ve never seen a submissive little toy like you, but you are doing me good. How much do you enjoy getting fucked by me?”
“Shit… Yujin… you are so fucking hot… please fuck me….ahhh” Yujin’s movement gets even more relentless when the words reach her ears. She doesn’t care if your leaking dick is sensitive at all, she just keeps riding like she is about to lose it all. Her eyes are already closed, mouth half open, seeking for your kiss and her tongue immediately finds yours.
“God… I am going to come… get your stupid dick deeper… ahh” Yujin’s grasp on your neck tightens a little bit, your hips immediately start to cooperate and thrust upwards, while Yujin still slams her pussy on yours in a desperate motion.
“Yujin… I can’t hold it anymore…. Uhh… if you keep riding me like this… shit.” Your nails dig into your bed, grabbing the final piece of support before everything collapses into her.
“You’re not coming until I do. Good boy, hold it longer for mommy.” Yujin’s voice starts to crack. You then thrust harder, matching her frantic rhythm of slamming her weight onto your shaft.
The sensory is building, but it feels too good to just let go yet. You try your best to hold on tight and resist this pleasure that you feel for the for the first time in your life. It is not the dopamine rush when you win a clutch in FPS games, but rather, you feel relieved and relaxed. Years of isolation from girls, years of desperate seeking for love but failures, they became a burden that haunts you every lonely night. When your gaming friends log off to have hell of a night with their girlfriends, you are always the one left, hopelessly ask them to stay for one more game before you inevitably become the last one left in the Discord channel.
With that being said, you hold on to Yujin like she is the savior that can drag you out of this swamp. You are too done to think about your life beyond tonight, but instead you savor this moment with Yujin. As your movement gradually speeds up, you feel like you are losing your control from the overwhelming lust.
“Mmph... Yujin, you pussy is so juicy... I’m losing it.”You groan heavily, as the pleasure from below starts to build up.
“Hmm, tell me more.” Yujin urges.
“Your butt is so thick and bouncy, and your nipples taste like honey.”
“Good boy. Do you want to come inside me?” Yujin’s hairs messy, breath already short.
“I.... I want to so badly, but I’m not using a condom.” Even at this point, your STEM brain still attempts to claim control, calculating the probability that you accidentally impregnate the hottest girl you’ve met in this university.
“Fuck condoms.... I want to feel you more. I’m on the pill, come inside me.... ah!” Yujin is getting there, you can feel her walls becoming shaky and waves of warmth completely captures every inch of your dick inside her.
“You were a good boy tonight, so I am giving your reward. Come for mommy....”
“Holy shit, I can’t hold it anymore! I... I’m going to come!” Your mind loses control over your body, your hips violently jolt.
“Come with me... holy shit.... I’m losing it!” Yujin reaches her climax, you immediately feel her nectar flowing out of her tight, warm pussy and splashes onto your twitching dick. You feel every bit of her desire dropping down to your shaft, you can’t hold it anymore.
“Fuck... I’m coming!” You burst out strands after strands of cum inside Yujin, while she moans as she feels your heat in her. Your spine is shivering, your nerves exciting and your eyes are filled nothing but desire. Yujin yanks your hair with both of the hands to keep balance, but the pure sensation from your shaft muted the pain. You let out a long, primal groan after the release that you’ve been waited for 20 years.
“Shit, that was a lot.” Yujin breathes heavily, yet to go back to the reality. She then lifts herself up from you, the thick mix of her nectar with your sperm drips from her pussy. You lie down on the bed, feeling boneless, chest going up and down rapidly.
Yujin moves herself forward, leans her head to her shoulder and whispers, “Baby boy, do you want to clean mommy up?” You oblige, placing your palms on her soft, warm waist and pulls her towards you. Yujin then sits herself down on your face, and you start your work, tongue swirling inside her, licking every drop of her nectar combined with your essence. You gently kiss her shaft, appreciating her flawless body.
“So… I just did you a big favor, you are not a virgin nerd anymore.” Yujin giggles, “Well I don’t know if you can ever fix your nerdy brain, I might need to give you more help.”
You swallow, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. “But that first part is certainly gone.” You give her a relieved smile. “Thank you so much for this… Yujin… I don’t know what else to say, it was so….”
“Unreal.”
“It is unreal indeed; I’ve never expected to not die as a virgin.” You laugh at yourself, or actually, your old self. Years of isolation and acting like you don’t care had pushed you this far, you are sincerely thankful for Yujin who came in at the right moment and took you out of your little fortress.
You keep your mouth working, cleaning the evidence of pure desire and libido off her gorgeous body. Yujin hums gently, “You know, I sometimes wonder… you are a smart kid, but why did you play silly when you first met me?”
“I… I don’t know, I was kinda… terrified.” You confess, “I was afraid that you were just gonna be another girl who plays with me then throws me away.”
“I did try to play with you, but you’re mine from now on and I don’t want my investment to fail. It’d be a good waste if I just let go of this nice body.” Yujin touches you, but not teasing, instead she is claiming you. “Come on, we smell like sweat and alcohol, we should take a bath.” She takes your hand, you stumbling after her to the bathroom, like a loyal puppy following his owner.
-
The steam fogged up the mirror, you stand right in front of the sink, staring at yourself. For the first time in years, you feel utterly real. In front of you it’s not just a guy play pretend to play cool and disguises himself with math formulas and video games. You see Yujin standing right behind you from the mirror, hair messy from the sweat. She hugs you firmly, the bouncy tits pressing your back. You don’t feel like she’s seducing you though, it is more like a protection.
“Puppy.” She hums softly.
“Is that what you are calling me from now on?” You turn your head, kisses her forehand gently.
“Aren’t you the one who screamed ‘fuck me mommy’ like 10 minutes ago?”
“I bet every man would do the same if they get rode by a hot girl like you.” You joke.
“Now you say I’m hot.”
“I always thought so since I saw you for the first time.”
“You’re only saying this because I fucked you.” Yujin smirks, before pulling you to the bathtub. You slide in, the warm water wraps around your body. Yujin sits right across you, winking to you with her big eyes.
“You know, I wasn’t sure at first .” She says.
“Sure about what?”
“If you are as boring as you look.” “And what do you think?” You start to get nervous; the old memory starts to haunt you. The moments where you get rejected by girls and they gossip about how nerdy you are behind the scenes start to retake your mind and push Yujin away. “You haven’t showed me much yet, nerd.” Yujin gets closer to you, arms on your shoulder. Her hair is damped from both of the sweat and the warm steam in the bathtub, breath still a bit unsteady, “You still have time though, the night is long and the Final tomorrow isn’t until noon.” She then smirks devilishly, rests her delicate, soft feet against your thigh.
“I…. I can’t, I came twice already.” Your face is already red because of the embarrassment, but your half soft length is honest, graduating standing up when you feel Yujin is teasing your shaft with her cute, wiggling toes. Contrasting to her stunning style and height, her feet are surprisingly small and soft, nails painted in a glossy black color.
“Hey, I never knew you have this foot fetish thing in your nerdy brain.” “No I don’t!” You protest, but Yujin has her own way to shut you up.
“Shut up puppy.” She then lifts her left foot and presses it directly on your face, your nose is rapidly full of her scent and the smell of the soap. “Puppy don’t say no to his mommy.” Yujin whispers, while forcing your mouth open with her wiggly toes. “Show mommy you are a good boy, show me how much you worship this body. Every inch of it.”
Your instinct clearly knows better than the nerdy part of your brain, so before you can even process her words, you find your lips already sucking her big toe and your tongue swirling on it desperately.
“Gotta take care of my baby boy, gotta make you mine tonight.” Yujin smirks while working on your crotch with her other foot. She gently presses your length with her elegant, high arched foot while occasionally teases your frenulum with her big toe. You let out several weak groans while sniffing and worshiping her toes as Yujin strokes your cock slowly with her other foot. You carefully suck and lick each toe, like you are eating an ice cream. You spit out each little toe and suck them back in, your saliva paints her foot with your desire.
You carefully lift her foot with both of your hands before using your tongue to work on her arch, her heels and eventually her ankles. Her skin is so soft, you finally let it go before a final long, wet slick. Yujin stretches her toes slightly, gives a quiet little hum like a compliment. Her skin is shining with your saliva all over her foot, piercing through the foggy bathroom air.
“Mmph, Yujin, you taste so fucking good. Your skin tastes like butter. So smooth.”
“I knew you have foot fetish, puppy.” Yujin smirks before switching foot, pressing her now wet and well lubricated one on your hardened dick. Your body immediately jolts as she presses your length towards your tummy, while clamping your frenulum and the intersection between the head and the base with her toes. Yujin then move her toes up and down on your shaft, with her other foot resting right beneath, occasionally giving a soft kick on your balls. You desperately need to hold on to something before you get totally lost in this pure sensation. So you beg, on a rather cracked tone, “Mommy get closer.”
Yujin then sits up and gets even closer, her bouncy ass lands right onto your laps. Your lung forgets to get air as she places your already leaking dick right between her juicy thighs. “Shit... Yujin, you feel so fucking good. I’m losing the fucking control...” you gasp while automatically positions your hand onto her full, swollen tits.
“I know I’m hot.” Yujin smirks, starting to squeeze your length a bit harder, “How does it feel to get milked by mommy’s legs?”
“Mmph... fuck... it feels amazing.” You groan. “Damn right. Now let me empty your nerdy balls entirely....” Yujin squeezes your dick even faster, with your length being submerged to her thick juicy thighs, only the tip is visible. “You are mine, puppy. I want you to be mine and mine only. Not those idols who won’t ever know your name.”
“Ugh...Yujin, I’m all yours. Fuck.”
“Good boy, now empty yourself on mommy’s legs.” Yujin gives a few final strokes, before completely smothering your dick with her thighs. She dives in for your lips, your tongues all tangled together.
“Oh fuck. I’m coming! Yujin, you feel so good...” Your final defense had been stripped away, waves of waves of cum squirting through her legs before quickly disappear into the bathtub.
“That was impressive. Three times a night already? You got the potential boy.” Yujin smiles, then splashes water playfully onto your body and her tummy, washing off the remaining essence of yours like how she is trying to wash off everyone but her in your brain.
But you know that’s working.
After Yujin carefully washes both of you with the soap, cleaning off any evidence of the crazy night, she wraps you around right next to her with your towel. “Dry it up baby boy, we actually need some fucking rest before the test. I don’t want you to stare at the paper and think about me. Although you definitely will.”
“Hard to say I won’t. Fuck. Yujin, you’re perfect.” Your breath still shaky, recovering from the sensory overload just now.
“I’m indeed. Now let’s sleep. I’ll take that pillow and blanket. You use whatever you like.” Yujin pulls you towards the bed.
“Why not we both use the blanket?” You smirk; with relief and a sense of comfort you’ve never experienced before.
“Your lucky day, mister.” Yujin jokes, before shoving you onto the bed, she then climbs up and cuddles you from behind. Warmth. Peace. Protection.
-
Silence. But obviously none of you can sleep
“Yujin?” You turn around, she is still hugging you, your chest and hers are just inches away.
“Hm? What’s up?” Yujin rubs her eyes with the back of her hands – no more makeups but her bareface is just as stunning.
“Why… why me?” The scenes of Yujin staring at you in class while you answer the questions from the professor; when she swapped your cup with hers in the BBQ; when she pushed you against the wall and took your first kiss; and eventually – when she rode you like she’s losing it all. Now when all those were settled, you start to wonder WHY.
“What do you mean?” She seems to be a bit confused, tilting her head, but she doesn’t loosen her cuddle on you.
“Why me? There are many guys out there…” You swallow, the frantic lust fades. You enjoyed the perfect night of your life so far with Yujin, but you are SO curious, as you started to realize you don’t want this girl in front of you to leave after tonight. “I ain’t the hottest guy, I look silly… I don’t have any experience…You could’ve asked any other guys on this campus, and I doubt if any of them would reject you.” You voice gets lower.
“But that’s just what I want, nerd.” Yujin smiles, like she knows exactly what you are thinking. “I’m so done dealing with the guys who THINK they know what they’re doing. They show off, they perform in front of everyone. But because of that, they don’t treat relationships seriously. You? You are different. I can someone is hiding behind that nerdy mask of yours.”
“You pretend you don’t care about relationships just because you’re afraid to get hurt. I can tell you’ve been starving to have someone see through your disguise and takes good care of you.” Yujin continues, while gently brushes your hair. “That made me curious, why did you hide?”
She reads you like a book. For the first time, you feel like being in your dorm room at night isn’t a symbol of loneliness. “Yujin… I don’t know. I thought I knew everything, I thought I am the master in romance.” You sigh, “but turns out I am NOTHING. I had no charisma at all, rejected by every girl I asked for prom within one week.”
“And you never talked to any girls since?”
“Not until today. I wanted to just grab my backpack and go away in the library.” You confess.
“Then you stayed because I am too hot?” Yujin teases, just slightly eases the vibe.
“No… I stayed because I was terrified. I didn’t know what to do but to obey.”
Yujin cups your face, her gaze directly pierces through yours, like a claim of authority over you. “But it isn’t too bad submitting yourself to me, huh?”
“It… it feels weird, but in a good way. I had fun tonight.”
“Just fun?” She pulls your head closer.
“More than fun, Yujin. You made me feel like… I was alive.” You confess, realizing how empty your soul was until today and how silly it sounds to stare right into your dorm wall full with posters because you don’t dare to talk to girls.
“Good. Because we have all the time in the world. You’re not going back to your little bubble and pretend you don’t need to be touched, don’t need to be taken care off, don’t need company. Are you?” Yujin then plants a gentle kiss on your forehead, while cuddles herself even closer to you. Her warmth and scent never existed in this room before, yet you don’t want any of them to ever go away.
“Absolutely not, I need you Yujin… Please be with me.” You confess, having someone hugging you in the middle of a lonely night is exponentially more relaxing and comforting compared to the times when you drooling to your limited edition Kpop photo cards.
“Mommy is with you, but don’t ever forget who you belong to. You’re all mine.” She smirks, before releasing you from her hug.
“All yours Yujin. Th…thank you, really. Have a sweet dream.” You let go of a sigh of relief, relaxing your tensed body.
“You too puppy.”
- The alarm goes off in the most annoying fashion, in the middle of a scene when Yujin sucks you off with her full, juicy lips. For a moment, you start to wonder if everything was just a fever dream because of the Soju last dinner. You wonder if what you remembered was actually what happened as you find yourself to be the only person on your bed.
But the clarification comes just in time, Yujin is already by your desk, putting on her makeups in your oversized hoodies – bottomless. The fabric is barely enough to cover her seducing thighs, her outfits from yesterday is still lying on your gaming chair. You swallow, a bit stunned from the scene right in front of you.
“Morning puppy, glad you can still wake up after three times last night.” Yujin giggles.
Your face immediate turns red as her words reminding you how slutty and desperate you were when you gave all yourself to Yujin, letting her use you as she wished.
“Don’t tease me anymore, Yujin. We literally have a Final in an hour.” You protest.
“And we spent the entire last night fucking.” She says, while putting her lipstick on, cherry red.
You try to take your notebook out from the drawers, only for Yujin to slap your arms away playfully. “Forget about the notes, forget that 4.0 GPA. I want you to only remember me. I want you to replay our scenes last night when you stare the exam paper.” She then stands up, undresses herself right in front of you. Your hoodie falls to the ground and Yujin is only in her lingerie. You swallow, trying your best to not get seduced in a moment like this, not before a final exam. But obviously you failed, eyes locked in on Yujin’s flawless body and you swallow again, hard.
“Hmm, still staring?” Yujin grabs your collar and pulls you close, gives you a firm kiss. Your lips then get dyed by her red lipstick, you follow your instinct, asking for more. But Yujin puts her index finger on your lips, mouthing “not now”.
“It’s a teaser, nerd. Wait until the exam is done and we have all the time in the world.” Yujin then starts to put her clothes back on, her own outfit. White tank top, leather jacket, a pair of tight, navy-blue jeans. “I was just messing with you; you’d better go and pass that exam. Don’t be a loser and fail otherwise it’ll make my taste on man look bad, would you?” Yujin smirks, while grabbing her purse from your gaming chair, nodding at the door.
You then get yourself ready and walk out of the room with her. It feels less weird this time when Yujin grabs your hand and fingers interlock with yours. You enjoy her soft skin and her deadly scent, the elevator ride was dead silent, but this time it is not because of it is awkward. It is because you already told Yujin everything she needed to know.
The weather outside is still cold, but Yujin’s fingers didn’t just slide in yours: it is a statement that forces your hand to mold to hers to the point where there is no air between your palms. As you walk out of the dorm building, you start to see occasional fellow students passing by, with some familiar faces from your classes. Each time you see them murmur to each other, you can’t control yourself to think if they are gossiping about you. Something like “isn’t that the nerd from our classes? How the fuck he gets to hold Yujin’s hand like this?” or “Damn! Did this guy pay her a fortune to be his one-day-girlfriend type of shit? He fucking looks like someone who’ll die before dating a woman”.
But Yujin knows exactly what you are thinking, each time when your eyes move from her to the pedestrians, she would hold your hand even firmer. It is not just walking. It is a parade. It is a parade that Yujin shows the entire campus her precious trophy. “Thinking about what people might say about you?” She whispers.
“Y…yes, this feels unreal. Never expected to walk like this in the public, not with my headphones on and with my hands being held by a girl like you.” Your lips tremble.
“Still try to play it cool huh? Try to put that cold, nerdy mask of yours on? Did you forget how you scream my name last night?” Yujin teases, while caressing your hand with hers.
“Don’t say it in the public, Yujin. People can hear us!” Your cheek turns pink.
“Then what? I am letting them all know that this nerd is mine and mine alone. I don’t give a shit what they think.” Yujin slaps your back gently, and you all finally approach the lecture hall. The tall, 3 stories building is like a statue, staring down at everyone passing by like it is making a statement of “you shall not pass”. Well, if you actually fail your Final, passing isn’t possible anyways. Yujin and you walk towards the wall where the seating chart is posted, you’re at the second to the last row, whereas Yujin is two rows in front of you, on your right.
You find this arrangement perfectly working, if Yujin gets too close? You’re doomed. There is no way to focus giving her deadly alluring scent and she’s definitely going to tease you to a point where you’d abandon your final exam to jerk yourself off in the bathroom. You decide to chug another can of Celsius before the final battle for the quarter, so you start to pace towards the back of the building where the vending machines are located.
You think Yujin already went inside of the room, as she waved you goodbye with a big, warm smile. The cute dimples on her gorgeous face are the last thing you’ll remember until the exam ends, not those stupid theorems that you spent hours mastering. Not anymore. So, you take out your wallet, counting how many $1 bills you have left to feed to the overpriced caffeine.
You anticipate the sound of your good friend Celsius rolling down the ramp of the vending machine, but what goes into your year is a steady rhythm of footsteps, of someone’s shoes tapping the ground. Might just be another fellow victim of caffeine addiction that needs to get their dose before the final, you think.
But then it is that familiar scent, aggressively catching your nose, it can’t be anyone else. As much you try your best to play it cool out in the public, you cannot hide your curiosity of finding out why Yujin still isn’t in the exam room yet. So you turn around.
“Yu…” You don’t get to finish, she shoves you onto the wall with such a force that your skinny body cannot resist, well you wouldn’t anyway. “Hmm, I figured out that I forgot something last night and I might as well just do it right now. Yujin winks at you devilishly, with a playful smirk on her face.
“W…what?” You are confused.
“Close your eyes, baby boy.” Yujin hums.
You obey, and feel surprised in your mind that Yujin would do something this romantic like a farewell kiss to you. Well, that’s what you think. You feel her getting closer, you can smell it, you can feel it. Your lips half parted, waiting for hers to catch yours. You wait, but the gentle kiss of hers never arrived.
Instead, you feel warmth on your neck, right at the place where it connects with your collarbone. Yujin gives you a kiss there, soft at first, but you immediately feel a sting as she bites you with her teeth suddenly after a suck.
“Ouch!” You gasp, eyes wide open. But there is no way for you to run as your back is already at the wall. You take a quick glance on your neck, a pink blossom with Yujin’s cherry red lipstick mark on your skin. She just planted a hickey on you.
“NO! That’s so embarrassing! You try to pull your collar up, only for Yujin to slap you hands off.
“Don’t you dare to hide it!” Yujin laughs, while staring right into the mark she left on you like an artist admiring her own work. That’s still not enough for her, Yujin decides to drag your collar even lower, making sure the full blossom is well displayed on your neck.
“Good. Now let’s go and show them who you belong to.” Yujin grabs the Celsius that had been witnessing the scene at the exit of the vending machine, pops it open and takes a big gulp.
-
When Yujin and you enter the lecture hall, the proctor already started to hand out the exam. You quickly find your seat and put your stuff down, Yujin is in front of you, sipping the Celsius that you involuntarily gave her. Her hair is a bit messy from the winter wind, but just as stunning as she always is. You look at her, your finger hovering on the mark she just left on you. You can feel her warmth on your skin.
Yujin then turns back to check the clock hanging on the back of the lecture hall, so “naturally” that your intentional look somewhere else to avoid being fall into her little trap. But you know that her gaze is locked on your body, so you quickly turn back towards her. Yujin sees you, then she looks down on her own shoulder like a reminder of the hickey on yours. She picks up the Celsius with two fingers, takes a slow and deliberate sip with her full, juicy lips before mouthing a big “mwah” to you.
The exam then begins. Those familiar Greek letters, those abstract operators no longer feel familiar. First problem is about some Discrete Fourier Transform; you stare at the Greek letter omega (ω). But the double-curve of the character on the page didn't look like a mathematical constant. It looked like the bruise blooming on your collarbone. It was the symbol of a cycle you couldn't break—the way Yujin pulled you in, marked your as hers, and left you spinning. You try to calculate the value, but the only answer you could remember was the way your breath hitched when Yujin asked you who you belong to. Fine. You skip this problem for now.
Second page is about computing an Eigenspace for a matrix. The exact topic that you tutored Yujin in the library yesterday. But at this moment you don’t give a damn about the Av = λv bullshit anymore. Because that lambda λ just looks like Yujin last night so much: it looks exactly like her when she rode you on your bed frantically, hands pressing down your chest for balance. By the time you compute the limit of a Fourier series, the infinity symbol ∞looks like nothing else but Yujin’s beautifully shaped breasts. You realize you are screwed, but in the best way you can. You realize your mind has nothing left but Yujin and she know exactly that.
“Hey, you! Eyes on your own paper.” The professor shouts while pacing around the hall. Your body jolt immediately, wondering if he caught you staring at Yujin’s back like a freak. You swallow hard, trying to put your focus back on the papers, but the professor walks closer to you.
“What’s up with you today, man?” The professor whispers your name, laying down close to you. “You don’t seem to be focusing, you should know this better than others in this class. Don’t disappoint me, ok?” But then, you are certain that you see his eyes flickers onto your neck. Your face is now flushed red in a blink of an eye. Fortunately, he just walked away to answer another student’s question.
You can already imagine the chitchats, the whispers, the gossips. It is going to be the total collapse of your smart kid character. Your legs nervously shake is the most visible evidence of your own “unmaking.” You feel like the lecture hall gets filled with the sound of shifting fabric, pens stopping, and the low-frequency vibration of whispers. “Is that…?” “No way, with him?” “Look at his neck.” The judgment feels heavy, like a physical weight pressing you into the seat. You feel like a fraud, like you are being interrogated to answer how a girl like Yujin ended up leaving her mark on a nerd like yourself.
Circling the final answer with your trembling hand, your sweet GPA is probably slipping through your finger as your social anxiety reaches its peak. Just as you are read to fold by pulling up of hood of your hoodie, Yujin suddenly, “accidentally” drops her pen. As she leans down to retrieve it, she turns her upper body back, just enough to give you a piercing gaze like a reminder. Her eyes seem to say, “You are mine, why do you care about others?”
Suddenly you realize those non-existing whispers actually aren’t insults and embarrassment anymore, instead they sound like an envy. Let them keep wondering how the nerd they ignored and looked down is the only who is allowed to feel the heat of Yujin’s touch. The anxiety and fear had been replaced with an intoxicating sense of belonging: you belong to the most gorgeous girl on this campus, and for the first time of your life, you want everyone to know it.
The difficult battle against the final exam (well, the most difficult part is to have the self-discipline and not get distracted by Yujin) lasts for about an hour extra, then you’re finally done. The normal habit of doublechecking your answer for at least three times is gone. Your heart is already a frantic drum that tries to escape your ribs. You turn in your paper in a rush like your life is depending on it because you can see Yujin is packing up her stuff as well.
You pretend to be on your phone and totally not care about who is the next person that walks out of the lecture hall after you. But you sniff, trying desperately to search for the deadly scent of Yujin’s perfume. You take a quick peek, praying that the next thing you see is Yujin’s leather jacket that comes out of the double-door. Finally, after about a century of waiting, you see that familiar outfit again. Yujin walks out of the hall with her usual steady rhythms of her boots tapping the concrete floor, jacket taken off and hanging on her shoulder. She doesn’t look like someone who “survived” the final exam, but someone who thrived on it.
“Hmm, puppy, you are done already?” She quickly closes the distance between you, as you lean on the pillar right outside of the lecture hall. Yujin keeps getting closer, trapping you against the pillar. She doesn’t care about the crowd, nor the lifeless students storming out of the building. She then leans in close, the alluring mix of her perfume and your own body wash (yes, you guys took a bath together last night) reminds you of your hunger and desperation.
“You look a bit…. Frustrated? Did the exam not go in your favor, baby boy?” Yujin smirks with her iconic dimples on her face.
“You know it wouldn’t.” You murmur, tone sounding so thin and weak even to your own ears. You stare right in her eyes, now behind the grey contact lenses again. The hunger and desire you tried your absolute best to suppress during the exam finally spills over. You’re not just looking at Yujin; you are devouring her. Of course she notices, she hovers her palm right on the tent of your pants. “Hmm, look at you puppy. You don’t seem to care about her grade anymore, are you? You are thinking when we are heading back to your dorm and have the door locked.” She leans in, lips touching your ear. “Then… you are thinking how I’m going to shove you on to the bed and fuck you senseless, right?”
“Y..yes, Yujin. I already missed it so much, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.” Your body jolts as she leaves a kiss on your lobe while pulling herself back.
“But you know what? I might need to go back to my own room to pack up stuff for the break. Oh! And I also haven’t had lunch yet. And how about we go on a walk around the campus this afternoon? My good boy had been waiting patiently, and you for sure don’t mind to wait a bit longer, right?” Yujin teases, but that was it. The threads snapped.
“Please….” You whispered, fingers trying to grip the edge of her tank top as Yujin pretends to start leaving. You don’t care about the students around; you don’t care about your dignity. “Yujin, I can’t… I need you so bad. I’ll do anything for you later, just let’s go back to my dorm right now, pretty please?”
Yujin then turns back, her smirk widening to something that’s pure predatory. She sees your voice cracking and your pupils dilating. “Anything?” She echoed with mischief in her voice. Then Yujin grabs your hand and begins to walk towards the dorm buildings. “Well… since my puppy asked me this desperately, I suppose I shouldn’t keep you waiting like that. But before that, I have a question for you.”
“Yes Yujin, anything.”
“You aren’t going home this winter break, are you?”
“Not really because I am not local… why?” You start to realize something is going on.
“Good, because I am moving in your dorm for the break. My lease is expiring at the end of the year.” Yujin smiles, but it doesn’t sound like she is asking you to do her a favor, instead she is giving you a reward for “bothering” you.
“God….. I can see where this is going.” You murmur, but anticipation overcomes the confusion.
“Exactly. That’s why I told you we have a lot of time to do the stuff.” Yujin smiles. “So, are you still want it right now or are you helping me move in? Because once we are behind that locked door, you aren’t gonna beg me for mercy.”
“Shit…” You sigh, with the winter breeze brushing your face. The usual sense of loneliness and desperation when the Winter Break approaches is gone. What is left is the pure will to savor every inch of Yujin, or rather get savored by Yujin. Doesn’t really matter to you that much though.
God knows what the upcoming month is going to be like, but for the first time ever, you aren’t afraid of being lonely anymore.
Haewon x Male Reader, a noona romance. Y/N just debuts and somehow he already gets a dating scandal with Haewon.
BLUE VALENTINE
NMIXX Haewon X Male Reader
10K Words Counted
—
The lights were blinding. That was the first thing they never really prepared you for in the training basement. You could practice facial expressions in the mirror for six years, you could run on a treadmill until your lungs burned to build stamina, but nothing prepared you for the sheer, disorienting violence of music show stage lights.
"And... cut! Great job, guys!" the PD’s voice boomed over the intercom.
The red tally light on the main camera flickered off.
Y/N dropped his pose immediately, his chest heaving like a bellows. Sweat dripped from his bangs, stinging his eyes. Beside him, his bandmates were collapsing into crouches, gasping for air, but Y/N just stared at the camera that had been zoomed in on his face seconds ago. His debut stage. M Countdown. It was done. He didn't fuck it up.
"Movement! Clear the stage!" a floor manager shouted, clapping his hands aggressively.
"hana-dul-set," the leader of Y/N’s group panted, signaling the bow. "Thank you! We worked hard!"
Y/N bowed ninety degrees, the adrenaline slowly curdling into exhaustion. As they shuffled off the stage, navigating the labyrinth of cables and props, the sensory overload began to fade, replaced by the distinct, sterile smell of the backstage hallways—hairspray, dry ice, and cheap coffee.
They turned the corner toward their waiting room, and Y/N nearly walked straight into a petite figure holding a portable fan.
He skidded to a halt, his sneakers squeaking on the linoleum. "Oh, shit—sorry, I didn't see—"
He looked up. He froze.
Oh Haewon was standing there, looking effortlessly polished in a stage outfit that probably cost more than Y/N’s parents' car. She lowered her portable fan, raising an eyebrow. Even with the heavy stage makeup, her eyes held that sharp, terrifyingly intelligent glint that Y/N had known since they were trainees.
"Language, Rookie," Haewon deadpanned.
Y/N straightened his spine, panic overriding his exhaustion. "Sunbaenim! Hello. I apologize."
Behind Haewon, Bae popped her head out of the NMIXX waiting room, chewing on a straw. "Ooh, look at him. Fresh meat. Did you cry on stage? You looked like you were gonna cry."
"I didn't cry," Y/N defended quickly, then looked back at Haewon. "I just... the lights were bright."
Haewon smirked, stepping closer. The distance between them was professional, but the air felt charged with the years they had spent in the same practice rooms in Cheongdam. She was his senior—his Noona by industry standards and age—and she never let him forget it.
"I saw the monitor," Haewon said, her voice dropping to a register that made the hair on Y/N’s arms stand up. "Your ending fairy. You bit your lip."
Y/N felt the heat rise up his neck. "Was it too much?"
"It was cheesy," she teased, reaching out to flick a piece of confetti off his shoulder. The touch was brief, clinical, but it burned. "But the fans will eat it up. Congratulations on debuting, Y/N. You finally made it out of the dungeon."
"Thanks to your advice, Noona," he slipped, the honorific coming out naturally before he could catch it. He quickly corrected himself. "Sunbaenim."
Haewon’s smile softened, just a fraction. It was the smile she used to give him when he was failing monthly evaluations and she’d sneak him chocolate bars. "Keep working hard. Don't let the fame get to your head, or I'll have to humble you myself."
She turned to leave, her hair whipping slightly, leaving the scent of vanilla and expensive perfume in her wake.
Y/N stood there for a second too long, staring at her back, until his manager shoved him forward. "Move it, Y/N. We have a fan meeting in twenty minutes. Stop staring at the seniors."
—
The adrenaline crash hit around 1:00 AM.
Y/N was back at the dorms, showered, scrubbing the last remnants of eyeliner from his waterline. His phone was buzzing with congratulations texts from family and old friends, but he felt hollow. Hunger was gnawing at his stomach. The frantic energy of the debut had evaporated, leaving him starving and restless.
He pulled a black hoodie over his head, tugged a beanie low over his damp hair, and grabbed a mask.
"Hyung, I'm going to the convenience store," he called out to his roommate, who was already passed out.
The Seoul night air was crisp. The streets near the JYP building were quieter at this hour, though never truly empty. Y/N kept his head down, walking briskly toward the GS25 on the corner. He just wanted ramen. Maybe a sausage. Just something greasy to celebrate surviving day one.
He pushed the glass door open, the chime dinging, and headed straight for the instant noodle aisle.
He was reaching for a spicy cup noodle when another hand reached for the same one.
They both retracted their hands. Y/N looked up.
Standing there, wearing an oversized grey hoodie that swallowed her frame and a black bucket hat, was Haewon. She had no makeup on, her skin glowing under the harsh fluorescent lights of the store. She looked younger, softer, and infinitely prettier than she had on stage.
"Are you stalking me?" Haewon asked, her voice muffled by her mask.
"I could ask you the same thing," Y/N retorted, relaxing instantly. It was weird; he should be terrified of her, but away from the cameras, she was just the girl who used to roast his dance moves.
"Please. I'm a busy woman. I just needed..." She gestured vaguely to the pile of snacks in her arms. "Fuel."
"Dieting going well?"
"Shut up." She grabbed the spicy noodle cup. "I saw the broadcast properly when I got home, by the way. You did good. Your vocals were stable."
Y/N felt a bloom of warmth in his chest that had nothing to do with the heater in the store. "Coming from the vocal queen, that means a lot."
Haewon rolled her eyes, but her eyes crinkled at the corners. She was smiling. "Come on. Since it's your debut day, Noona will treat you. Put your stuff on the counter."
"You don't have to—"
"I said," she commanded, pointing a finger at him, "Noona will treat you. Don't disobey your seniors."
They bought their haul—ramen, ice cream, and two sodas—and stepped outside. There was a small plastic table set up on the patio, partially obscured by a delivery truck. It seemed private enough.
"Sit," Haewon said, kicking a plastic chair out for him.
They sat in the cool night air, slurping noodles. For twenty minutes, they weren't idols. They were just two twenty-somethings exhausted by the grind. Haewon complained about her in-ear monitors malfunctioning; Y/N vented about his stylist making his pants too tight.
"You have something here," Haewon said suddenly.
Y/N froze, a noodle halfway to his mouth. "Where?"
"Here." Haewon leaned across the small, wobbly table. She reached out, her thumb brushing the corner of his lip where a speck of soup broth had splashed.
It was an instinctive, motherly gesture. The kind she did for Kyujin or Jiwoo. But Y/N wasn't Kyujin. He was a twenty-year-old man who had been half in love with her for three years.
He stopped breathing. Her face was inches from his. He could see the faint dark circles under her eyes.
"Messy eater," she murmured, pulling her hand back. She then reached up and tugged the hood of his sweatshirt, which had slipped down. "Cover up. If a saesang sees that hair color, you're dead."
"Thanks," Y/N croaked, his heart hammering against his ribs like a trapped bird.
"Go home, Y/N," she said, standing up and gathering her trash. "You have Music Bank tomorrow. Don't be late."
"Goodnight, Noona."
She waved over her shoulder, walking back toward the company dorms. Y/N watched her go, touching the corner of his lip where her thumb had been.
From the dark alleyway across the street, about fifty meters away, the shutter of a DSLR camera clicked rapidly, firing off twenty frames in five seconds.
The photographer checked the preview screen. The angle was perfect. From here, Haewon wiping his lip didn't look like cleaning; it looked like a caress. Her pulling his hood up didn't look like hiding him; it looked like she was pulling him in for a kiss.
"Jackpot," the photographer whispered.
—
The banging on the door sounded like a SWAT raid.
Y/N jolted awake, tangled in his sheets. Sunlight was streaming through the curtains. He checked his phone. 7:00 AM.
"Y/N! Open this fucking door right now!"
It was his manager, Min-seok. And he sounded furious.
Y/N scrambled out of bed, tripping over his bag, and unlocked the door. Min-seok stormed in, his face purple with rage. He didn't say a word; he just shoved his phone into Y/N’s face.
"Explain this. Now."
Y/N blinked, his eyes adjusting to the bright screen. It was a Nate Pann article. The headline was bold, red, and terrifying.
[BREAKING] MONSTER ROOKIE Y/N CAUGHT ON LATE NIGHT DATE WITH NMIXX LEADER HAEWON?
Y/N felt the blood drain from his face. He scrolled down with trembling fingers.
The photos were grainy, low-light, but undeniable. There was Haewon, clearly identifiable even with the mask. There was Y/N.
Photo 1: Them sitting close at the table, laughing.
Photo 2: Haewon reaching out to his face. The caption read: Haewon caressing Y/N’s cheek affectionately.Photo 3: Haewon grabbing his hood. The caption read: The lovers share an intimate moment in the shadows.
"Hyung," Y/N stammered, looking up at his manager. "This... this isn't what it looks like. We just ran into each other. She was buying me ramen because I debuted. She was wiping soup off my face!"
"Does that look like soup wiping to you?" Min-seok yelled, snatching the phone back. "The comments are tearing you apart! Look at this!"
He read them out loud, his voice dripping with venom.
"He debuted yesterday and he's already dating? unprofessional.""Keep your hands off Haewon, you clout chaser.""JYP losing control of their artists lol.""Look at how she looks at him. Disgusting."
"Get dressed," Min-seok spat. "Division 4 called. We’re going to the company. The Blue Room."
Y/N felt like he was going to vomit. The Blue Room was where careers went to die.
—
The conference room was freezing. The air conditioning was blasting, but Y/N was sweating through his shirt. He sat on one side of the long table. His manager sat beside him, refusing to look at him.
On the other side sat the head of Division 4, a stern woman with glasses, and NMIXX’s manager.
And Haewon.
She was sitting perfectly still, hands clasped on the table. She looked tired. She wasn't looking at Y/N.
"Let's make this quick," the Division 4 head said, tossing a packet of printed photos onto the table. "Is it true?"
"No," Haewon said immediately. Her voice was steady, calm, authoritative. "I went to the store. I saw Y/N. He looked hungry. I bought him food as a senior. I wiped a stain off his face because he’s a messy eater. Then I told him to go home."
"It looks intimate, Haewon," her manager sighed, rubbing his temples. "The hood grab? It looks like you were about to kiss him."
"It was cold," Haewon lied smoothly, though Y/N knew she had done it to hide his hair. "I was fixing his hood."
The executive turned her cold gaze to Y/N. "And you? Did you invite her out?"
"No, Ma'am," Y/N said, his voice cracking. "It was a coincidence. I... I respect Sunbaenim very much. There is nothing romantic going on."
"Yet," the executive muttered. She leaned back in her chair. "Listen. The public doesn't care about the truth. They care about the narrative. And the narrative right now is that NMIXX's leader is distracted by a rookie boy toy, and that the new boy group member is unprofessional."
Silence hung heavy in the room.
"We will release a statement," the executive continued. "Denying it. 'Close sunbae-hoobae relationship,' 'supporting the debut,' standard PR nonsense."
She leaned forward, her eyes narrowing.
"But from this moment on, you two are dead to each other. Do you understand?"
Y/N swallowed hard. "Yes."
"No interactions at music shows. No mentioning each other on Bubble. No looking at each other in the hallways. If you are in the same room, you move to opposite corners. We need to kill this rumor by starving it. If I see one more photo, Y/N, you are back to trainee status. Or worse. Contract termination."
Y/N’s heart stopped. Termination. One day after debut.
"Haewon, as the leader, I expect you to be smarter," the executive scolded.
"I understand," Haewon said, her jaw tight. "It won't happen again."
"Good. Get out."
They stood up. The scraping of chairs sounded like gunshots in the quiet room.
They walked out into the hallway together. The managers were lagging behind, talking in hushed tones about the press release. For a brief second, Y/N and Haewon were walking side by side.
Y/N looked at her, desperate to apologize. "Noona, I—"
"Don't," Haewon whispered harshly, staring straight ahead. She didn't look at him. Her face was a mask of cold professionalism. "Don't look at me. Don't talk to me. Just walk."
She picked up her pace, storming down the corridor and turning the corner, disappearing from his sight.
Y/N stood there, the fluorescent lights humming above him, feeling entirely, utterly alone. The scandal hadn't ruined his career yet, but as he watched her leave, he felt a sharp pang in his chest that told him the punishment was going to be much harder than the crime.
Because for a terrifying moment last night, when she had touched his face, he had wanted the rumors to be true.
—
The internet didn't just move on. It festered.
In the week following the scandal, the narrative crystallized into something ugly and unshakable. JYP’s statement—“They are close colleagues supporting each other”—had done its job for Haewon. For the public, Oh Haewon was the benevolent, charismatic leader of NMIXX, the "God-baby" who was simply too kind for her own good. She was the victim of her own generosity, caught in a frame with a rookie who didn't know his place.
For Y/N, however, the statement was a death sentence.
He was the "Attention Seeker." The "Leech." The "Parasite."
He sat in the back of the practice room during a break, his phone screen dimmed to the lowest setting. He knew he shouldn’t look. The company psychologist had told him explicitly: Do not read the comments. But it was like picking at a scab.
@NMIXX_Protector99:"Haewon is literally an angel buying food for a starving trainee and this nugu dares to look at her like that? Know your level, bitch."
@KpopTruths:"Y/N’s vocals are average at best. The only reason people know his name is because of Haewon. He used her for clout on debut day. Calculated."
@Ot6_Forever:"Leave the group. You’re staining their reputation. Die."
"Y/N," his leader, Jun-ho, said softly, pulling the phone out of his hands. "Stop it."
Y/N looked up. His eyes were bloodshot, dark circles carving hollows into his cheeks that no amount of concealer could hide anymore. "It’s fine, Hyung. They’re right about the clout part. Our MV views tripled since the article."
"That’s not how we wanted the views," Jun-ho snapped, though his anger was directed at the situation, not Y/N. "You haven't eaten properly in three days. Get up. We have Inkigayo pre-recording."
Y/N stood up, his legs feeling like lead. "I'm fine. As long as they aren't attacking the rest of you, I'm fine."
And that was the sick, twisted truth of it. Y/N checked the comments on his groupmates' individual fancams. They were clean. "So handsome," "Talented," "Stan the group, ignore the trash member."
Good, Y/N thought, a grim sense of satisfaction settling in his gut. I’m the lightning rod. If I burn, at least the house stays standing.
—
The atmosphere at SBS Hall was suffocating.
Walking through the corridors of a music show broadcast station was usually a social affair. Idols bowed, greeted each other, exchanged albums. But as Y/N walked down the hallway to the restroom, the air changed.
He passed a group of rookies from another company. They stopped talking as he approached. He heard the whispers as he passed.
"That's him.""The one who hit on Haewon-sunbaenim.""Bold for a rookie."
Y/N kept his head down, eyes fixed on the floor tiles.
He turned the corner and nearly collided with a staff member pushing a rack of costumes. He side-stepped, bowing apologetically, and when he looked up, he saw her.
Haewon was standing near the vending machines with Lily and Sullyoon. She looked radiant. Her hair was styled in intricate waves, her stage outfit sparkling under the hallway lights. She was laughing at something Lily said, her smile bright and unburdened.
Then she saw him.
The laughter died in her throat instantly.
Lily and Sullyoon followed her gaze, their expressions shifting to awkward pity.
Y/N felt a muscle in his jaw jump. He remembered the order from the Blue Room. No interaction. Dead to each other.
He didn't bow. He didn't smile. He shifted his gaze to the wall three inches to the left of Haewon’s head, making himself a ghost, and walked past them without breaking stride.
He could feel Haewon’s eyes burning into his back. He could practically hear the sharp intake of breath she took, as if she wanted to call out to him. But she didn't. She couldn't.
He was the villain, and she was the princess. Villains don't get to say hello.
—
The incident happened two hours later, during the "mini-fanmeeting" departure.
Because of COVID restrictions easing, fans were allowed to line the pathway leading from the studio exit to the idol vans. It was usually a happy chaos—fans shouting encouragement, idols waving and making hearts.
NMIXX had exited five minutes before Y/N’s group. The roar of the crowd had been deafening. “Haewon-ah! I love you! You’re so pretty!”
Y/N’s group manager, Min-seok, looked tense. "Keep your heads down. Wave fast. Get in the van. Do not stop for gifts."
The glass doors slid open. The cold winter air hit them, biting and harsh.
"Hana, dul, set! Hello, we are ECLIPSE!"
The crowd’s reaction was immediate and polarized. For his members, there were cheers.
"Jun-ho oppa!"
"Min-jae looking good!"
Then Y/N stepped out.
The temperature in the crowd seemed to drop. The cheering didn't stop, but it was undercut by a distinct, murmuring hostility. And then, the heckling started. It wasn't everyone—maybe just five or six people near the front barrier—but in the relative quiet, their voices carried like gunshots.
"Hey! Clout chaser!"
"Stay away from Haewon!"
"You're ruining the group's image, fuck off!"
Y/N flinched. Just a micro-movement, but he felt it. His bandmates stiffened, looking ready to fight, but Y/N nudged them forward. Keep moving. Just get to the van.
Then, something hit him.
It wasn't a rock or a bottle—that would have been assault. It was a crumpled-up ball of paper, thrown with decent aim. It bounced off Y/N’s shoulder.
The disrespect was palpable. A hush fell over the immediate crowd. Even the loyal fans were shocked into silence.
"Who threw that?" Min-seok roared, stepping between Y/N and the barrier.
"Let him read it! It’s a resignation letter for him!" a girl in the front row screamed, her face twisted in a sneer. She was holding an NMIXX lightstick. "Don't touch our unnie, you disgusting trash!"
Y/N stopped.
He stood there on the asphalt, the cold wind whipping his hair into his eyes. His manager was pushing him toward the van door, but Y/N planted his feet.
He slowly turned his head.
Behind the glass doors of the SBS lobby, about twenty feet away, the members of NMIXX were waiting for their own transport manager.
Haewon was standing right at the glass.
She had seen it. She had seen the paper hit him. She had heard the girl scream disgusting trash.
Her hands were pressed against the glass. Her eyes were wide, filled with a mixture of horror, fury, and a crushing, helpless guilt. She looked like she was about to shove the door open and scream at her own fans. Her mouth moved, forming a word that looked like “No.”
Y/N locked eyes with her.
For three seconds, time stretched. The sounds of the haters fading into a dull buzz.
He saw the pain in her eyes. She was hurting because he was hurting. She wanted to save him.
Don't, he thought. Don't you dare come out here.
Y/N’s face remained a mask of stone. He gave her nothing. No sad smile to reassure her. No angry scowl to show his strength. He looked at her with a dead, neutral expression, acknowledging her presence and then dismissing it entirely.
I am the villain, his eyes said. Let them hate me. You stay clean.
He broke eye contact, turning his back on her.
He faced the girl who had screamed at him. The girl looked triumphant, expecting him to cry or run.
Instead, Y/N bowed. A full, ninety-degree, polite bow.
"I will work harder," he said, his voice flat, devoid of emotion.
The girl blinked, confused by his submission. The venom in the air dissipated, replaced by an awkward, uncomfortable silence. He had robbed them of the satisfaction of seeing him break.
Y/N climbed into the van and slid the door shut.
—
Inside the vehicle, the silence was heavy.
"Y/N-ah," Jun-ho whispered, looking at him with terrified eyes. "Are you okay?"
Y/N stared out the tinted window. He could see the blurred figures of the fans, and beyond them, the glass doors of the lobby where Haewon was probably still standing.
He felt a strange, cold numbness spreading through his chest. It wasn't happiness, exactly. But it was relief.
They hadn't yelled at Jun-ho. They hadn't thrown things at the other members. And Haewon... Haewon was still the beloved Queen.
"I'm fine," Y/N said, leaning his head back against the seat and closing his eyes. "Drive, hyung."
Let them eat me alive, he thought. At least she's safe.
But back in the lobby, Oh Haewon watched the black van pull away, her fingernails digging into her palms so hard they drew blood. She had never felt so powerful as an idol, and yet so utterly, pathetically weak as a human being.
"Unnie?" Bae whispered, touching her arm. "Are you okay?"
"No," Haewon whispered, her voice trembling with a rage she couldn't release. "I'm really not."
—
Months passed. The K-pop news cycle, voracious and fickle, eventually found new meat. A dating scandal in a major girl group, a bullying accusation against an actor, a contract dispute—the spotlight shifted, leaving Y/N scorched but still standing.
The silence that followed the storm was where Y/N truly began to work.
He stopped checking social media entirely. He deleted Twitter, Instagram, even the YouTube app from his phone. His world shrank to the four walls of the practice room and the recording booth. If the world decided he was trash, he would become the most talented trash they had ever seen.
The turnaround started not with a bang, but with a whisper.
It was their first comeback. The title track was a high-energy dance number, standard boy group fare. But the B-side, a soulful R&B track called "Gravity," was different.
During the recording session, the producer had stopped the track. "Y/N. That bridge. Do it again. But this time... stop trying to sing it perfectly. Sing it like you're exhausted. Like you're letting go."
Y/N thought of the paper ball hitting his shoulder. He thought of Haewon’s face behind the glass. He closed his eyes and sang.
When the album dropped, "Gravity" was an afterthought. Until the It’s Live performance video came out.
The video was simple: the group sitting on stools, live vocals, acoustic accompaniment. When Y/N’s bridge hit, the camera zoomed in. He wasn't doing "idol face." He wasn't winking or biting his lip. He looked raw. His voice cracked slightly on the high note—not a mistake, but an emotional break—before soaring into a falsetto so pure it silenced the room.
“Even if the world turns away, I’ll stand in your shadow / Just don't look back at me, don't look back.”
The clip went viral on Twitter.
@VocalTeacherReacts:"Who is this kid? I thought he was the visual hole? That technique is insane. The breath control? He’s singing from his gut."
@KpopStuff:"Wait... is this the guy everyone bullied? I’m listening to his part on loop. I’m crying? Help."
@RandomUser:"I feel bad for what I said about him. He clearly cares about the music. Look at his hands shaking. He’s pouring his soul out."
Slowly, the tide turned. The comments section on his fancams shifted from snake emojis to purple hearts. Fans started noticing the bruises on his knees from over-practicing. They noticed how he always bowed 90 degrees to staff, even when he thought cameras weren't rolling. They noticed he was the last one to leave the stage, bowing to empty seats.
Honesty. That was his weapon. In an industry of manufactured perfection, Y/N’s bruised, quiet consistency felt real. He wasn't trying to be cool anymore. He was just trying to survive, and in doing so, he became undeniable.
—
It was 2:00 AM in the NMIXX dorm.
The room was dark, save for the blue light emanating from Haewon’s phone. She was lying on her stomach, her chin propped up on a pillow, scrolling.
She was watching a compilation video titled: “Y/N’s Vocals Will Heal Your Soul (Gravity Era).”
She watched a clip from a radio show where the host asked Y/N about his malicious comments from debut. In the clip, Y/N just smiled—a real, small, tired smile—and said, "It made me realize I need to be a singer who speaks through music, not rumors. I'm grateful for the feedback. It made me work harder."
"Liar," Haewon whispered to the screen, a fond smile tugging at her lips. "You were crying in the bathroom, I bet."
She scrolled down to the comments.
“I’m sorry Y/N. We judged you too quickly.”“He’s actually so talented. Stan talent, stan Y/N.”“His voice color fits perfectly with NMIXX style tbh… collab when?”
Haewon let out a breath she felt like she’d been holding for six months.
He did it, she thought. He actually did it.
She remembered the guilt that had eaten her alive those first few weeks. Every time she saw him walking with his head down in the company cafeteria, she wanted to scream. She wanted to grab a megaphone and tell the world that she was the one who bought the ramen, she was the one who touched his face. But her managers were strict, and Y/N... Y/N had shut her out completely.
He had built a wall of ice between them to protect her. And from behind that wall, he had rebuilt himself, brick by brick.
A knock on her door frame made her jump.
"Unnie, are you still awake?" It was Bae, holding a glass of water.
"Just checking schedules," Haewon lied, quickly locking her phone.
Bae squinted in the dark. "You're watching Y/N’s fancams again, aren't you?"
"I am monitoring our junior group’s progress. It’s a leader’s duty."
Bae snorted, walking in and sitting on the edge of the bed. "Sure. You know, their manager told our manager that they got their first music show win nomination for next week. Their digital score is crazy high because of Gravity."
Haewon sat up, eyes widening. "Really? A nomination?"
"Yeah. Against... us."
Haewon blinked. NMIXX was promoting Love Me Like This (or a similar upbeat track). They would be competing for first place.
"That's..." Haewon paused. A year ago, this would have been a disaster. The "Scandal Couple" on stage together for the winner announcement? The press would have had a field day.
But now? Now the narrative was different. Y/N wasn't the leech anymore. He was the "Underdog." The "Redemption Arc."
"It's going to be interesting," Bae said, poking Haewon’s leg. "If he wins, are you going to cry?"
"I don't cry," Haewon scoffed, lying back down and pulling the blanket up. "I'm a professional."
"Right. Just like you professionally didn't almost punch a fan for throwing paper at him."
"Get out, Bae."
—
The following week, Music Bank.
The atmosphere was electric. Y/N’s group, [ECLIPSE], stood on the left side of the stage. NMIXX stood on the right. The MCs—Jang Wonyoung and the other host—stood in the center holding the trophy.
"And the winner of this week's Music Bank is..."
The drumroll played. The split screen showed Haewon’s calm, expectant face, and Y/N’s face—eyes closed, lips moving in a silent prayer.
"...ECLIPSE! Congratulations!"
Confetti exploded. The crowd roared—a genuine, deafening roar.
Y/N’s eyes snapped open. He looked stunned. His leader, Jun-ho, grabbed him in a chokehold, screaming. The other members were jumping, crying. It was their first win.
Haewon clapped. She clapped hard, raising her hands high so the cameras could see. She looked across the stage at him.
Y/N was bowing to the MCs, accepting the trophy. His hands were shaking violently. He took the microphone.
"Ah... thank you," his voice cracked. He laughed, wiping his eyes. "Thank you to our fans. You... you waited for us. You believed in us even when it was hard. I promise to be a singer you can be proud of forever."
He didn't look at Haewon. He looked at the camera, at the fans.
The music for their encore stage started playing. The other idols began to exit the stage.
As NMIXX walked past ECLIPSE to leave, the "no interaction" rule was tested.
Usually, groups just bowed and kept moving. But today, the vibe was different. The hate was gone. The air was clear.
Haewon stopped in front of Y/N.
The camera directors panicked for a second, unsure if they should cut away, but they kept rolling.
Y/N froze, clutching the trophy to his chest. He looked at her, really looked at her, for the first time in months.
Haewon didn't touch him. She didn't hug him. She simply bowed—a deep, respectful senior-to-junior bow—and smiled. A real smile. One that said, I see you. You did well.
"Congratulations, Y/N-ssi," she said, her voice audible over the backing track.
Y/N bowed back, lower than her. "Thank you, Sunbaenim."
It was professional. It was clean. But the spark in their eyes was undeniable.
Haewon walked off stage, her heart lighter than it had been in a year.
Y/N turned back to the audience, lifted his microphone, and began to sing the opening lines of Gravity.
“Even if the world turns away...”
He sang it perfectly. He was an idol. He was a winner. And as he sang, he glanced toward the wings of the stage, where he knew she was watching from the monitors.
The scandal hadn't killed him. It had forged him. And maybe, just maybe, now that he was standing on his own two feet, he could finally be worthy of standing next to her.
—
Later that night, in the JYP practice rooms.
Y/N was alone, packing his bag. It was 3 AM. He was exhausted but buzzing with the high of the win.
The door clicked open.
He spun around.
Haewon slipped inside, closing the door softly behind her. She was wearing her grey hoodie again.
"You're brave," Y/N said, his voice quiet. "Coming in here."
"I checked the hallway. The coast is clear," she said, leaning against the door. "Besides, who's going to gossip? You're the nation's vocal treasure now."
Y/N let out a breathy laugh, running a hand through his hair. "Don't tease me."
"I'm not teasing." Haewon walked over to him. She stopped a foot away. The distance was still there, but the wall was gone. "You worked hard, Y/N. You deserved that trophy."
"I did it for the group," Y/N said. "And... I did it so you wouldn't have to be ashamed of being seen with me."
Haewon’s expression crumpled slightly. "I was never ashamed of you. I was scared for you."
"I know."
Silence stretched between them, thick with unsaid things.
"So," Haewon said, scuffing her sneaker against the floor. "The company ban on interactions... they said it was until the 'situation resolved.'"
Y/N looked at her. "The hate comments are gone. The articles are positive."
"Technically," Haewon stepped closer, "the situation is resolved."
She looked up at him, her eyes searching his. The playful Noona was gone; this was just Haewon, the girl who liked late-night ramen and hated injustice.
"Y/N," she whispered. "Can I buy you ice cream to celebrate? For real this time?"
Y/N smiled—the first genuine, carefree smile he had shown her since that night at the convenience store.
"No, Noona," he said, reaching out and boldly taking her hand. Her fingers were warm. "I just got my first paycheck settlement. This time, I'm buying."
Haewon squeezed his hand back. "Deal. But wear a mask. If we get caught again, I'm actually going to kill you."
"Fair enough."
—
The night air was cool, but Y/N was sweating.
As they walked toward the convenience store—a different one this time, three blocks further away from the company—Haewon was light on her feet. She was humming a melody, swinging her plastic bag gently, her shoulder occasionally brushing against his arm.
"I can't believe Jun-ho cried," she chuckled, glancing up at him. "He looked so ugly. You were cool, though. Very stoic."
Y/N didn't answer immediately. He was scanning the rooftops. He was checking the side mirrors of every parked car they passed. A black van drove by slowly, and Y/N’s muscles locked up so hard he almost tripped.
Click.
He heard it in his head. The phantom sound of a shutter.
"Y/N?" Haewon stopped, her smile faltering slightly. "You okay? You're walking like a robot."
"I'm fine," Y/N said, his voice tight. "Just tired."
"Well, sugar will help." She reached out, her fingers grazing his wrist, intending to pull him closer.
Y/N flinched.
It was a visceral, violent reaction. He jerked his hand away as if she had burned him.
Haewon froze, her hand hovering in empty air. The hurt flashed across her face—instant and raw. "Sorry. I... I forgot."
"It's not that," Y/N lied, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. "Let's just get the ice cream."
They entered the store. The fluorescent lights, which used to feel welcoming, now felt like an interrogation room. Haewon went to the freezer, picking out two melon bars. She turned to him, her resilience kicking in, trying to salvage the mood.
"Let's sit at the park down the street," she suggested, forcing a brightness into her tone. "It's dark there. No one will see us. We can talk about the comeback."
Y/N looked at her. He saw the girl he had crushed on for years. But superimposed over her face, he saw the Nate Pann articles. He saw the death threats in his DMs. He saw the disappointed look on his mother’s face when she asked if he was going to be kicked out of the group.
She wasn't just Haewon anymore. She was a walking, talking landmine.
"I can't," Y/N said abruptly.
Haewon blinked. "What?"
"I can't sit," Y/N said. He took the ice cream from her hand, paid for it at the counter with trembling fingers, and walked out.
Haewon followed him, confused. "Y/N, wait. What do you mean? We just got here."
They stood on the sidewalk. The street was empty.
"Here," Y/N said, thrusting the unwrapped ice cream toward her.
"I don't understand," Haewon said, not taking it. "Did I do something wrong?"
"I have an emergency," Y/N blurted out. It was a clumsy lie. "Jun-ho just texted me. Something with the dorm. A leak. I have to go."
Haewon stared at him. She was smart. She knew he hadn't checked his phone once. "Y/N, you're lying. Talk to me. You're shaking."
"I have to go, Sunbaenim," he said, using the formal title like a weapon. He shoved the ice cream into her hand. "Enjoy the ice cream."
He turned on his heel and walked away. He didn't look back. He walked fast, his heart hammering against his ribs, waiting for her to call out his name.
She didn't.
As he turned the corner, out of sight, he leaned against a brick wall and exhaled. The panic began to subside, replaced by a cold, heavy stone in his gut. He felt like an asshole.
But he also felt safe.
—
The next morning, Y/N woke up to three texts.
Haewon (02:15 AM): Did you get back okay?Haewon (02:30 AM): Whatever is wrong, we can fix it. Just tell me.Haewon (08:00 AM): I’m grabbing coffee for the leaders meeting. Do you want an Americano?
Y/N stared at the screen. His thumb hovered over the keyboard.
He remembered the Blue Room. He remembered the hallway at Inkigayo, five months ago. He remembered walking past her, desperate for just one look of acknowledgment, and getting nothing but the back of her head. She had cut him off to save her career. She had treated him like a stranger because it was necessary.
It's necessary now, too, Y/N told himself.
He swiped the notification away. Delete.
He didn't reply.
At the company that afternoon, the game of cat and mouse began. But this time, the roles were reversed.
Y/N was in the vocal practice room, working on harmonies with his group. Through the glass panel of the door, he saw Haewon walk by. She slowed down, peering in. Their eyes met.
Haewon offered a small, tentative wave.
Y/N looked at her. He didn't wave back. He didn't smile. He turned his back to the door and said loudly to his members, "Let's take it from the top. Focus, guys."
He saw her reflection in the mirror as she lingered for a second, then walked away, her shoulders slumped.
A dark, twisted satisfaction coiled in Y/N’s stomach. It felt... good. It felt like regaining control. For months, he had been the victim, the one begging for scraps of validation while she stood on the pedestal of public adoration. Now, he was the one holding the cards.
He wasn't doing it to be cruel, he rationalized. He was doing it because she was a distraction. Every time he thought about her, he thought about the scandal. Every time he got close to her, he risked everything he had built from the ashes.
She is destruction, he thought, attacking the high note with unnecessary aggression. I can't afford her.
—
Two weeks of radio silence.
Y/N had become a ghost to her. He dodged her in the cafeteria. He took the stairs if he saw her waiting for the elevator. He muted her number.
But the JYP building was only so big.
It was late on a Tuesday. Y/N was leaving the gym on the third floor, towel around his neck, exhausted. He pressed the button for the elevator to go down to the parking garage.
The doors dinged open.
Haewon was inside. Alone.
Y/N hesitated. The doors started to close.
"Get in," Haewon said. Her voice wasn't warm. It was sharp.
Y/N stepped in and pressed the button for the garage. He moved to the opposite corner of the car, staring at the floor numbers changing.
3... 2...
"Are you punishing me?"
The question hung in the small metal box.
Y/N didn't look at her. "I don't know what you mean, Sunbaenim."
"Stop with the 'Sunbaenim' bullshit," Haewon snapped. She hit the emergency stop button. The elevator lurched to a halt between the first and second floors.
Y/N looked up, startled. "What the hell are you doing? If the cameras—"
"The cameras in this car don't record audio," Haewon said, stepping toward him. Her eyes were blazing. She looked furious, but beneath the anger, she looked exhausted. "You ghosted me. After the win. After everything. Why?"
"I'm busy," Y/N said, crossing his arms. "We have schedules. You know how it is."
"Don't lie to me!" Haewon shouted, her voice echoing. "I know busy. Busy is replying late. Busy is short texts. This? This is ignoring me. I walked past you yesterday and you looked at the wall like I was a disease. Does that remind you of something?"
Y/N’s jaw tightened. "Yeah. It does."
Haewon recoiled slightly, the realization hitting her. "Is that what this is? Revenge? Because I had to ignore you during the scandal?"
"You didn't have to treat me like I didn't exist," Y/N spat, the bitterness finally spilling over. "You didn't have to look at me with that pity in your eyes and then turn your back while people threw trash at me."
"I was protecting you!"
"You were protecting the brand!" Y/N stepped forward, towering over her. "And you were right to do it. I learned from the best, Haewon. You taught me that feelings are a liability. You taught me that if someone threatens the group's image, you cut them off."
He laughed, a dry, humorless sound.
"Well, guess what? You're the threat now. Being seen with you? It stresses me out. It makes me think about losing my contract. It makes me think about my mother crying because her son is a 'disgrace.' You are a distraction. And I worked too fucking hard to get out of that hole to let you drag me back in just because you feel guilty and want to buy me ice cream."
Haewon stood there, stunned silence filling the space. Her eyes filled with tears, but she refused to let them fall. She looked at him—really looked at him—and saw the damage. She saw the walls he had built, reinforced with the very bricks she had handed him.
"I didn't know," she whispered, her voice trembling. "I didn't know you were still scared of me."
"I'm not scared of you," Y/N said coldly. "I just don't need you."
He reached past her and pulled the emergency stop button back out. The elevator shuddered and resumed its descent.
"Y/N," Haewon said, her voice small.
"Don't," he cut her off.
The doors dinged open at the parking garage.
"This is my floor," Y/N said.
He walked out, leaving her alone in the elevator. As the doors slid shut, he caught a glimpse of her face. She looked shattered.
He walked to the company van, his heart pounding in his ears. He felt sick. He felt cruel. He felt like a monster.
But as he climbed into the backseat and closed his eyes, for the first time in months, the anxiety in his chest was quiet. He had cut the cord. He was safe.
And if safety meant being alone, then so be it.
—
Success, Y/N learned, was loud.
It was the roar of 20,000 people in the Gocheok Sky Dome chanting ECLIPSE’s name. It was the incessant buzzing of his phone with brand deal offers, variety show invitations, and texts from industry seniors who wouldn’t have looked at him six months ago. It was the pop of champagne corks and the squeal of tires on the tarmac as they flew from Seoul to Tokyo to LA.
ECLIPSE wasn't just a group anymore; they were a phenomenon. And Y/N, the "Ice Prince" with the soulful vocals and the mysterious, guarded aura, was the center of it.
But silence was expensive. And silence was what he craved.
It was three months after the elevator incident. Three months since he had told Oh Haewon he didn't need her.
He was sitting in the back of the van, scrolling mindlessly through Twitter—something he allowed himself to do now that the timeline was filled with praise.
Then, the algorithm threw a curveball.
[BREAKING] JYP Entertainment Announcement: NMIXX Haewon to go on temporary hiatus.
Y/N’s thumb froze. The noise of the van—Jun-ho laughing at a video, the manager talking on the phone—faded into a dull hum.
He clicked the link.
“Hello, this is JYP Entertainment. We would like to inform you regarding NMIXX member Haewon’s health status. Recently, Haewon has been showing symptoms of extreme psychological anxiety and fatigue. After consulting with medical professionals, it was decided that she requires stability and rest...”
Anxiety. Fatigue.
Y/N felt a cold sweat break out on his palms. He scrolled down to the comments.
“She’s been looking so sad lately on stage :(”“The leader burden is too heavy.”“Get well soon, our Queen.”
Nobody mentioned the scandal. Nobody mentioned Y/N. To the world, it was just the pressure of the industry.
But Y/N knew. The memory of her face in the elevator—shattered, tearful, rejected—flashed in his mind like a strobe light. He remembered his own words: You are a distraction. I don't need you.
He had saved himself. But he had broken her.
—
It was 2:00 AM. The company building was mostly empty, save for the security guards and the insomniacs.
Y/N couldn't breathe in the dorm. The air felt too thin. He had driven back to the company, telling his manager he left his in-ears behind, but instead of going to the studio, he took the stairs.
Flight after flight, up to the roof.
He pushed the heavy metal door open. The wind hit him instantly, a bitter gust that carried the scent of impending rain and city smog. The rooftop was a desolate expanse of concrete and ventilation units, usually the place where trainees came to cry or smoke secretly.
He thought he was alone. He wasn't.
She was standing near the edge—safely behind the railing, but close enough to look out at the sprawling lights of Seoul. She was wearing that damn grey hoodie again, the one from the convenience store, the one from the scandal. The hood was up, swallowing her head.
She looked small. Fragile.
Y/N stood by the door, his hand gripping the handle. He should leave. He should turn around, walk down the stairs, and keep his perfect, safe life intact.
But his feet moved on their own.
He walked slowly across the gravel and concrete. The wind masked the sound of his footsteps until he was only a few feet away.
She was shaking.
It wasn't the shivering of cold. It was the rhythmic, convulsive shaking of someone trying desperately to keep a sound inside.
Y/N reached into his gym bag slung over his shoulder and pulled out a clean, white towel.
He stepped up beside her. He didn't say a word. He just held the towel out.
Haewon jumped, a sharp gasp escaping her throat. She spun around, her eyes wide with terror, expecting a manager or a security guard.
When she saw it was him, the terror morphed into something more painful: shame.
Her face was a mess. Her eyes were swollen, red-rimmed, and dark. Her cheeks were wet. She looked nothing like the polished idol the world loved. She looked like a girl who had been crying for weeks.
"Y/N," she choked out, her voice cracked and raw.
She immediately tried to wipe her face with her sleeves, turning away from him. "I... I didn't know anyone was here. I'm leaving. Sorry. I'm sorry."
"Take it," Y/N said, his voice softer than he intended. He pushed the towel into her hand.
Haewon gripped the towel, clutching it to her chest like a shield. She didn't use it. She just stared at the ground, her shoulders trembling.
"You read the news," she whispered. It wasn't a question.
"I did."
"Are you happy?" She looked up at him then, fresh tears spilling over. "I'm gone. I'm not a distraction anymore. You don't have to see me in the hallways. You don't have to hide in the stairwell. I'm out of your way."
The bitterness in her voice cut him deep, but it was the underlying despair that made him bleed.
"Haewon," he started, but she cut him off.
"I tried, Y/N," she sobbed, the dam finally breaking. "I tried to be professional. I tried to be just a senior. But you looked at me with so much hate. In the elevator... the way you looked at me... it killed me."
She stepped closer, disregarding the invisible barrier he had built between them.
"I'm sorry!" she cried, her voice rising over the wind. "I'm sorry I bought you ramen! I'm sorry I touched your face! I'm sorry I ruined your debut! I blame myself every single day! I read every comment you got, and I wanted to die because I caused it!"
"Stop," Y/N said, his throat tight. "Haewon, stop."
"Don't hate me," she begged, grabbing the sleeve of his jacket. Her grip was weak, desperate. "Please, Y/N. You can ignore me. You can never speak to me again. But please don't look at me like I'm your enemy. I can't take it. I can't take it because..."
She choked on a sob, looking up at him with eyes that were drowning.
"Because I love you," she whispered.
The wind seemed to stop. The city lights blurred in Y/N’s vision.
"I think I’ve loved you since you were a trainee with the blue hair," she confessed, tears dripping off her chin. "And seeing you treat me like garbage... it hurts more than the hiatus. It hurts more than the fans. It just hurts."
She let go of his sleeve and stepped back, wiping her eyes aggressively with the towel he gave her. "I'm sorry. That was unprofessional. Forget I said it. I'm going."
She turned to leave, her small figure retreating into the shadows of the roof access.
Y/N stood there, paralyzed.
He saw the last year play out in his mind. The scandal. The fear. The survival. And through it all, she had been there, trying to reach him, trying to apologize, trying to love him. And he had punished her for it. He had punished her for his own fear.
Fuck the group, a voice inside him screamed. Fuck the reputation.
"Haewon!"
He lunged forward. He caught her just as she reached the door.
He didn't think. He grabbed her wrist, spun her around, and pulled her into his chest.
Haewon stiffened, a gasp trapped in her throat.
Y/N wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in the crook of her neck. He held her tight—tighter than he had ever held anything. He held her like she was the only thing keeping him tethered to the earth.
"I'm sorry," Y/N whispered into her hair, his voice breaking. "I'm so fucking sorry."
Haewon stood frozen for a second, and then she crumbled. She melted into him, her arms coming up to wrap around his waist, her fingers digging into the fabric of his jacket. She buried her face in his chest and sobbed, loud, ugly, releasing months of pent-up agony.
"I don't hate you," Y/N murmured, one hand coming up to cradle the back of her head, stroking her hair. "I never hated you. I was scared. I was a coward. I pushed you away because I knew if I let you in, I wouldn't care about the career anymore. I would only care about you."
"You hurt me," she muffled into his chest.
"I know. I know I did." He pulled back slightly, just enough to look at her face. He used his thumbs to wipe the tears from her cheeks, uncaring that he was crying too. "You were right. I was punishing you because I couldn't punish the world. And that makes me a piece of shit."
Haewon sniffled, looking up at him with red, puffy eyes. "So... we're not enemies?"
"No," Y/N said firmly. "We're not enemies."
"Are we friends?"
Y/N looked at her lips, then back to her eyes. The space between them was charged, electric, terrifying.
"We can't be just friends, Haewon," he whispered. "You know that."
"Then what are we?" she asked, her voice barely audible. "Two idols who can't be seen together?"
"For now," Y/N said. "But I'm not ignoring you anymore. If I see you in the hallway, I'm looking at you. If you text me, I'm answering. I don't care who sees. I don't care if I get scolded."
He leaned his forehead against hers.
"Take your hiatus," he whispered. "Rest. Sleep. Get better. And I'll be here. I'm not going anywhere."
Haewon closed her eyes, leaning into his touch, exhaling a breath that sounded like relief. "Okay."
"Okay."
Y/N pulled her back into a hug, resting his chin on top of her hood. The city lights flickered below them, indifferent and cold, but up here, wrapped in each other's arms, the world felt a little less lonely.
"You owe me an ice cream," Haewon mumbled into his jacket, her voice returning to a hint of its usual sass.
Y/N let out a wet, genuine laugh. "I'll buy you the whole damn store."
—
Haewon’s hiatus lasted three months.
To the public, she was resting at her parents' home in Incheon, completely cut off from the world to recover her mental health. To the fans, it was a drought. To the members, it was a quiet period of holding down the fort.
To Y/N, it was an espionage mission.
He became a master of the shadows. The "Ninja Dating" skills he had scoffed at during his rookie training became his lifeline.
Every Friday night, after ECLIPSE’s practice ended at 1:00 AM, Y/N would change cars—swapping his identifiable van for his manager’s beat-up sedan (after begging and bribing Min-seok with expensive beef sets). He would drive to a secluded parking lot near Haewon’s family home, wearing a hat pulled so low he could barely see the road.
Haewon would sneak out the back gate.
They didn't go to restaurants. They didn't go to movies. They sat in the car, the engine idling to keep the heater running, windows fogged up from their breath.
"You look better," Y/N said softly, tracing the line of her jaw with his thumb.
Haewon leaned into his touch. The dark circles were fading. Her skin had regained its color. She was wearing his ECLIPSE hoodie—it was three sizes too big, and she looked ridiculous and adorable.
"I slept for fourteen hours yesterday," she mumbled, closing her eyes. "My mom made me seaweed soup. I think I'm turning into a sloth."
"A cute sloth," Y/N teased.
"Shut up." She opened her eyes, finding his. "How is the group? Are you eating? If you lose those abs, I’m breaking up with you."
"Wow. Shallow." Y/N chuckled, leaning over the center console to kiss her forehead. "We're good. Preparing for the Japanese tour. But... the studio feels empty without hearing your laugh down the hall."
"Gross. You're so cheesy." Haewon grimaced, but she grabbed his hand and interlaced their fingers, squeezing tight. "I miss it, Y/N. I miss the stage. But I'm scared to go back."
Y/N squeezed back. "Don't be. You aren't walking back into the fire alone this time. I’ve got the extinguisher."
"That was a terrible metaphor."
"I'm a vocalist, not a poet. Kiss me."
She grinned, grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him in. The kiss was slow, tasting of coffee and chapstick. It was desperate and reassuring all at once—a promise kept in the dark, safe from the flash of cameras.
—
The announcement dropped in May. NMIXX Haewon to resume activities.
The internet exploded with support. The "Scandal Couple" narrative had been buried under months of new gossip, replaced by genuine concern for her health. When she stepped onto the red carpet at the Dream Concert for her first appearance back, the cheers were deafening.
Y/N was watching from the backstage monitor.
He stood with his arms crossed, his heart pounding in his throat. When the camera zoomed in on her face, she looked fierce. Sharp. The rest had done her good. She introduced herself with that signature crisp diction, her smile dazzling.
"She is," Y/N replied, a swell of pride nearly choking him.
Later, in the labyrinthine hallways of the stadium, the moment of truth arrived.
ECLIPSE was coming off stage; NMIXX was going on. The corridor was crowded with staff, cameras, and PDs. There was no way to hide.
As the groups approached each other, the air grew tense. The staff remembered. They watched with hawk eyes, waiting for a slip-up, a glare, or an awkward dodge.
Y/N walked at the front of his group. Haewon walked in front of hers.
They locked eyes.
There was no fear this time. No looking at the floor. No looking at the wall.
Y/N bowed. "Hello, Sunbaenim. Glad to see you back."
Haewon stopped. She didn't bow immediately. She looked him up and down, a small, mischievous glint returning to her eyes.
"You're sweating, Hoobae," she noted loud enough for the staff to hear. "Good stage."
She reached into her pocket. The managers tensed up.
She pulled out a small packet of wet tissues and tossed it to him.
Y/N caught it with one hand.
"Clean up," she said, winking—actually winking—before brushing past him, her shoulder checking his firmly. "Break a leg, boys."
The NMIXX members giggled as they passed. Y/N stood there, holding the tissues, fighting the urge to smile like an idiot.
The staff relaxed. Oh, they’re cool now. Just professional banter.
Only Y/N saw the sticky note attached to the back of the packet. He palmed it, reading it quickly as he walked to his dressing room.
Room 404. 10 minutes. I locked the door. ;)
Y/N smirked. God, I love her.
—
Stability was a luxury in K-pop, but they had earned it.
Two years later, Y/N wasn't a rookie anymore. ECLIPSE was a top-tier group, touring domes. NMIXX was an established powerhouse. The "Scandal" was now just a footnote on a Wiki page, a piece of trivia that new fans laughed about. "Remember when people thought they were dating? Lol."
If only they knew.
They were in Y/N’s apartment. He had moved out of the dorms into a high-security complex in Hannam-dong—the kind with private elevators and blackout curtains.
It was Christmas Eve. Snow was falling outside the floor-to-ceiling windows.
Haewon was in the kitchen, wearing one of Y/N’s dress shirts and nothing else, trying to frost a cake. It was going poorly.
"You're destroying it," Y/N observed, leaning against the counter with a glass of wine.
"I am adding texture," Haewon argued, licking blue icing off her finger. "It's artistic. You wouldn't get it."
Y/N set the wine down and walked over behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder. "It looks like a Smurf exploded."
"Hey! Respect your elders!" She tried to elbow him, but he just laughed and kissed her neck.
"Start over," he murmured against her skin. "Or we can just eat the icing."
"We have to celebrate," she insisted, turning in his arms to face him. She smeared a bit of icing on his nose. "Happy 2nd Anniversary, idiot."
"Is it the second?" Y/N pretended to think. "I thought we broke up that time you stole my limited edition hoodie."
"I borrowed it. Permanently." Haewon grew serious for a moment. Her hands came up to cup his face. "Are you happy, Y/N?"
"Ideally, I'd like to take you out," Y/N admitted, his voice low. "I want to take you to a real restaurant. I want to hold your hand in Hongdae. I hate hiding you."
"We aren't hiding," Haewon corrected him softly. "We're protecting. There's a difference. We have this. We have this place. We have our friends who know. It's enough."
"Is it?"
"For now," she smiled. "Besides, Dispatch gave up on us. They think we hate each other because I roasted your haircut on Bubble last week."
"That was uncalled for, by the way. My hair looked fine."
"It looked like a mushroom." She kissed him to shut him up. "I love you, Y/N. Mushroom hair and all."
"I love you too, Noona."
—
The ending came on a random Tuesday in April.
Y/N had just won "Best Male Artist" at a major awards show. He was high on adrenaline, sitting in the passenger seat of his manager's car.
"Pull over," Y/N said suddenly.
Min-seok looked at him. "What? Here? Y/N, there are people around."
"Just for a second. Please."
The car stopped. It was the convenience store. The GS25 near the old building.
Y/N put on his mask and a cap. He ran inside. He bought two melon ice creams.
He ran back to the car, but he didn't get in. He walked around the corner to the dark alleyway—the exact spot where the photo had been taken three years ago.
A figure was waiting there, leaning against the brick wall.
Haewon.
She had slipped away from her group’s celebration dinner. She was wearing a grey hoodie.
Y/N walked up to her, breathing hard. He held out the ice cream.
"Deja vu," Haewon said, her eyes crinkling above her mask. She took the ice cream.
"I wanted to rewrite it," Y/N said. He pulled his mask down. "Last time we were here, I was a terrified rookie and you were the scary senior. And it ended in disaster."
"And now?" Haewon pulled her mask down too.
"Now," Y/N stepped closer, crowding her space, "I'm the guy who is crazy about you. And I don't give a damn if there's a camera."
Haewon looked around. "There might be."
"Let them look," Y/N said. "I'm tired of the 'close colleague' narrative."
He leaned in.
Haewon didn't pull away. She didn't fix his hood. She didn't look for an exit. She stood on her tiptoes, wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him.
It wasn't a tentative first kiss. It was deep, passionate, and full of three years of fighting, hiding, crying, and loving. It was a kiss that said, We won.
They broke apart, breathless.
"If that ends up on Nate Pann tomorrow," Haewon whispered, resting her forehead against his, "my company is going to kill me."
Y/N grinned, wiping a smudge of lipstick from his lip. "Let them try. I'll write a ballad about it. It’ll go number one."
Haewon laughed—a bright, free sound that echoed in the alleyway. "You're impossible."
"I'm yours."
She took a bite of her ice cream. "Yeah. You are. Now let's go before it melts."
They walked back toward the main street, not holding hands, but walking close enough that their arms brushed with every step.
Maybe tomorrow the headlines would scream. Maybe the internet would burn. But tonight, under the Seoul city lights, Y/N and Haewon were just a boy and a girl eating ice cream, and for the first time in forever, that was exactly enough.
—
The END...
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