Confessisons of a Retail Worker

Just three sisters that work retail and thought we would share some of the things we have seen, done, and heard while doing so.

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me to customers walking into the store: good morning :)

me to my sisters walking into the store: GET OUT!

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things we all hate

when customers argue and insist they’re right, even though we’ve proven them wrong and showed them the proof

when customers try to blame you for them not having enough money

when customers throw shit at us

when customers lay their money on the counter instead of putting it in our hand that is clearly waiting

when customers put their card in before we press total (the system i work doesn’t allow payment before total is pressed)

when customers let the pinpad beep instead of taking out their card so our register freezes for ten minutes

when customers bitch that we’re out of a product. sorry, but other people buy it too, not just you

“why is this on the table if it’s not on sale???” BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT I WAS TOLD TO FUCKING DO

when customers get mad that pepsi, dr. pepper and coke don’t mix during the 3 for $10 deals. it’s not my fault you don’t know how to read the god damn signs before you check out

“what sale i the yellow/blue dot?” there’s literally a sign on the clothes rack that tells you

“when is your pop/milk guy coming in?” i don’t make their schedules so i don’t know

“why are you out of _____?” because someone bought it.........

- admin k

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manager: i'm dying

me: what? why?

manager: my ankle is swollen

me: what makes you think you're dying?

manager: google said so

- admin k

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The truck driver just walked out of the women's bathroom. There was someone in the guys. Understandable. What I do to understand is why he didn't wash his hands 😑😑😑

-admin l

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Me: -holding a bag if hotdog and hamburger buns in each hand- Soo... How many are supposed to be in each bag?

My manager: uh... 8.

Me: okay. Well this is wrong then. -showing her the hotdog buns with 9 buns in the bag-

My manager: oh! It's a bonus pack! I want it. It's mine.

-admin l

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I hate lasagna. I dropped 25 lbs of rock solid frozen lasagna on my 2 day old belly button piercing today.

-admin l

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Customer: I like your nails where did you get them done?

Me: my aunt did them for me.

Customer: I like the color.

Me: thanks

Customer, as she’s leaving the register: is it acrylic or what?

Me: no. It’s this stuff called PeppiGel

Customer, walking out the door: ive never heard of it.

Me: it’s basically a dip powder gel.

Customer, standing in the doorway: oh that’s cool

Me: yeah. It lasts too.

-at this point the doors start to close-

Customer: that’s really co- oh. Woah. It just tried to cut me in half! Did you see that!?

-admin l

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Me: go ahead and insert the card.

Customer, holding the card: it just told me to remove it.

Me: you haven’t put the card in yet

Customer: no. It told me not to

Me: how can you remove the card if you haven’t inserted it yet?

Customer: i don’t know. Ask the machine

Me:...

-admin l

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other manager: who decided to put me in charge? i have no idea what i'm doing...

admin n: neither do i...

-admin n

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Me, before payday: I’m totally gonna save some money this week and set up a savings account.

Me, on payday: I need this and that and all of these and three of those.

-admin l

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Counting down the minutes until you’re off like

“I have exactly one hour, 45 minutes, and 28 seconds. I can do this.”

-admin l

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I just had to ask a customer what day it is. I need more sleep.

-admin l

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Admin n: why is this guy dressed like that?

Me: like what?

Admin n: he’s wearing a dirty white muscle tank top and.. and sweater... pants.

Me: sweater pants? You mean. Sweats.

Admin n: yeah. Those.

-admin l

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admin l: this tea really does taste like dirt

admin n: but it's not bad

-admin k

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customer: can i use the bathroom key?

me, clearly checking people out: sure, go ahead

customer: okay thanks -stands there-

me, still checking people out: it's just right there on the nail

customer: oh i was waiting for you to hand it to me

-admin k

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an actual conversation with my manager

me: -phone rings- hello?

manager: hey, would you mind working thursday night too?

me: sure that's fine

manager: carol called and said she can't, she has a thing with a sheep

me: a sheep?

manager: yeah it sounded weird so i didn't ask

-admin k

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I went to drop off Admin N at work and while I walked out of the store, there were two kids. I’m assuming brother and sister. Sister was choking Brother while dad was choosing a nice family movie to watch later.

-admin l