Entitled

Connor Ward. I'm impressive.

[karl-kidd-blog]

Ahahahah, no. I’m good with the current one.

[connor--ward-blog]

If you say so.

[karl-kidd-blog]

It’s so hot, my face is melting….

[connor--ward-blog]

Maybe you'll get a better one after this one melts off.

[connor--ward-blog]

I'd say it's good to be home but...

[wallis-davies]

Oh, that sucks. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, I mean… I knew you left town for a little bit, but I didn’t know shit was going down. Is there anything I can do for you? 

[connor--ward-blog]

I don't know. I think... mostly this is something I just need to deal with. I made this mess on my own, for the most part. Thanks though, Wallis.

 How are you and Jeremy doing?

[connor--ward-blog]

I'd say it's good to be home but...

[pete-waterfield]

You do a lot of right things, okay. Don’t doubt that. This was just a particularely wrong thing.

You can help if you… If you come over. For a little while. I missed you. Even if I’m mad I miss you, Connor. 

[connor--ward-blog]

Okay. Alright. I.. Thanks. I needed to hear that more than I think you know.

 ...Are you sure? I mean, really, really sure because I'm already grabbing my keys and heading out the door if you are.

[connor--ward-blog]

I'd say it's good to be home but...

[pete-waterfield]

I thought you did. I thought you’d just up and left for good because of everything with Luca. And us. And It really didn’t make it feel any better to have you gone. So I don’t know. I needed time away from you but it hurts to stay away. If that makes sense.

[connor--ward-blog]

I'm sorry. I know all I do lately is apologize, and I'm sorry for that, too I just... I can never seem to do the right thing when it comes to you. I didn't know how to help. I didn't think there was any way that I could help.

 Please, if there is anything, just tell me.

[connor--ward-blog]

I'd say it's good to be home but...

[pete-waterfield]

I did. I mean… I do need time. To think. About us and everything but I’m not- I’m not ending anything.

Connor, I’m never going to be okay with what happened. I’ll just work through it. Be mad for a while. Because right now it’s hard not to be. 

[connor--ward-blog]

I wanted you to be sure that was the right decision. I can't... I couldn't blame you if you ended it.

 I don't really expect you to. You have every right to be mad, and I'm sorry I left, but I honestly thought it was for the best. I wasn't... I wasn't running away, not consciously anyway, even though that's what it looks like. I was just trying to do what I thought was best for you. I didn't think you'd want to see me, I thought... I thought the only way I could help you was to go away.

[connor--ward-blog]

I'd say it's good to be home but...

[pete-waterfield]

I know.

It’s just… It’s too bad not everyone gets to do that. Leave things for others to take care of.

[connor--ward-blog]

I didn't... Oh, Jesus Christ, Pete, that wasn't the point. I swear that wasn't it at all.

 I... I wanted to give you time to think... I thought you'd need time on your own to decide if... if I was worth all this. And I knew if I stayed here I'd just keep coming to you. I'd keep calling, and texting, and showing up at your doorstep, begging you to just... just look at me again. And I couldn't do that to you. I had to give you space to... to think, to figure it all out on your own.

[connor--ward-blog]

I'd say it's good to be home but...

[pete-waterfield]

Yeah. 

I’m tired, by the way. Since you were wondering. With Luca being hospitalized and you … I dont know, leaving.

[connor--ward-blog]

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry, I just... I needed to... to be away for a little while.

[connor--ward-blog]

I'd say it's good to be home but...

[pete-waterfield]

…How am I?

[connor--ward-blog]

...That was a stupid question, I'm sorry.

[connor--ward-blog]

I'd say it's good to be home but...

[wallis-davies]

I don’t invest in listening to what’s going on in other people’s lives unless it’s coming from the people themselves, but if you want you could put it that way, sure.

[connor--ward-blog]

That's... a good thing. Normally. I just... I know everyone knows, and I'd really rather not talk about it. I just don't want to go through it all again.

 I'm just here to see what's left of my life to pick back up again.

[connor--ward-blog]

I'd say it's good to be home but...

[pete-waterfield]

Hey.

[connor--ward-blog]

Pete. I-... I uhm. Hi.

 Hi. How... how are you?

[connor--ward-blog]

I'd say it's good to be home but...

[wallis-davies]

Ey, what’s wrong?

[connor--ward-blog]

Is that a serious question, Walls? Have you been living under a rock lately, or something?

[connor--ward-blog]

I'd say it's good to be home but...

I'm not all that sure it is.

[witemore]

[connor--ward-blog]

What if he doesn't? What if he doesn't forgive you? That this is it, the final straw and you won't get him back?

Then I suppose I go back to the way I was before. Before I cared, before I had a purpose. I'll go back to partying and sleeping around and keeping myself distracted from how fucking empty it all is.

[connor--ward-blog]

You think it'll help him if you leave?

I already left, and yes. I'm... a distraction right now. If I were in Wester, I would be calling him daily, trying to see him, begging him to see me. He doesn't need that right now. He needs to think about his brother, he needs to think about what he wants, not what I want. He needs time, and space, and I can't give that to him if I'm close by.

[connor--ward-blog]

Probably not. So, do you always run off when things don't go your way?

No. I'm not running away. This isn't for me. I did this for Pete.