will you come back before you go ?
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@connotations
will you come back before you go ?
" it's just something to pass the time. "
" don't fucking act like you have to pity me. "
" i knew you missed me. "
" was he bothering you? "
" you shouldn't be here right now. "
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acrylics curl inward as the gymnast balls her fists ; not to cause him any harm , but to ground herself amid the storm swirling within her psyche . ❝ i give a shit , what the fuck do you mean ?! in what world would i not care that you were flirting with her ?! ❞
" you're not my girlfriend — you know that. " it's dismissive, his hands reaching back for the neck of the bottle he'd been nursing in the midst of his deflection. " we are nothing. " she needs to kill the part of her that gives half a shit before he destroys the both of them. " get that through your head, syd. "
" who gives a shit? "
‘ you want the truth, or the version that lets you sleep tonight? ’
" that would mean i care. " drawled out and bored, as she takes another puff of dulled cigarette. " spit it out. "
" i can keep a secret. "
" what part of leave me alone do you not understand? "
" you need to get over it. "
" i don't know why you're doing this to me. "
you'd like that . "which part -- us being friends or you squirming ?" amusement lingers behind brown eyes , enjoying her attempt to disregard him like they both didn't feel the exact same thing . "'cause last time i checked , you didn't mind when i was knuckle deep inside your pussy the other night ." but that's what she did . came apart in his hands just to pretend it never happened . instead of doing what she says , he just steps closer , towering over her , "make me ."
" both. " bitter on her tongue, and she can almost convince herself that neither of those are a probability — the way it should have been. but his words are bringing her back to the cold reality of it all. " everyone makes mistakes. " the words brush over his easily, despite the turmoil beneath her stone demeanor. she had made her bed with him and no amount of guilt would make her clean again. " stop being a nuisance. " her patience is wearing thin with him able to strike every pressure point. palm is pressed up to his chest in a near tender moment, before it's thrusting him back and out of her way. " is that what you wanted? "
she manages something like a smile, a breath. but her chest tightens, heart bleeding through its armor. ‘ please. ’ go. she turns away from him. don’t say that. ‘ things are different now. ’ her voice is soft, raw from crying. ‘ i’m different. ’
" this is what you're trying to do? " even at her pleas for him to leave her the same way others had, he's still there. taking careful steps forward until his chest is brushing against her back. far enough away to leave space for everything that was unsaid. fingertips graze along her wrist, a careful touch to keep her in place. " you're not going to push me away just because they left. " — " i'm not doing that to you. "
‘ you’re done wasting my fucking time. ’
“ now i’m wasting your time ? ” sharp on her tongue, despite the noticeable mist settling along her eyes. she’s used to the men coming and going, never wanting to get too close out of the fear her father invoked. she just thought he was better. how naive. “ what changed between now and last night? ” — “ did you find a better lay? ”