*inadvertantly covers salad with olive oil instead of balsamic vinegar*
jesus wouldn’t have wanted this
AnasAbdin
Misplaced Lens Cap
art blog(derogatory)
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styofa doing anything
Claire Keane

JBB: An Artblog!
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
YOU ARE THE REASON

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wallacepolsom
Not today Justin
will byers stan first human second

tannertan36

Andulka
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Kiana Khansmith
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izzy's playlists!

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@consensualricesermon-blog
*inadvertantly covers salad with olive oil instead of balsamic vinegar*
jesus wouldn’t have wanted this
*Throws Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson at your window in an attempt at courtship*
*uses hamburger helper ™ juice as lube*
watch out babe I’m going in raw
But Sharon...
The Lasagna...
u ever be eating individually wrapped chocolates and u be flinging the wrappers back in the box after u done with the chocolate and then u shove ur hand up in that bitch and ur like, yup, that’s a lot of chocco, but then u tip the box out ant that bitch is 99% wrapper? excuse me bitch? we may eat plastic when shit gets hard but that day ain’t today
hotpants destroyed pre-world war 2 germany, and they’ll destroy you too
a concept
we make sweet love all night long. I refuse to use my hands, and instead make penguin like ducking motions over your beautiful body. we are madly in love. the cows are screaming once more
*bats the epipen out of the charming, peanut allergenic librarians hand after he mistakes peanut slice for caramel*
put that cig down young man
tell me I’m pretty, I scream to no one in particular.
the chanel boots are filling up with swamp water.
the spaghetti stringing from my nose? lukewarm.
luke, where did you put my tequila?
If religion is the opiate of the masses how come I don’t get high when I go to church?
checkmate athiests
I have the power to shrink my body but it would also shrink my brain proportionately and it would make me to dumb to get big so ive never done it
I did a similar thing except my package stayed the exact same size. Tiny ant boy with three inch lovemaker. Ladybugs love it.
feelings getting you down? baths not easing the stress? incense filling your nostrils with nothing but the scent of your ex-wifes perfume? why did you leave me for him sarah? why chad? it was the mercedes wasn’t it sarah? I’m sorry I coul;dn’t be the man for you
ya know I have very mixed views on masturbation. on the one hand? ajit pai.
Five Nights At Freddies FanFic
*kicks freddy mcfuckbear and his lollipop guild fanbase right in the fucking dick*
“how do you like that mr fazzhead?” I say, my super hot 6 pack glistening and covered in ketchup.
*freshnugget looks at me, and smiles*
“You were too late... she is dead.”
*I scream, then push my fists deep into my eyes. My goth GF. Gone forever*
the only difference between power lines and a fucking dank swing set is stone cold courage, a plank torn straight from your grandmas coffin and your little brothers he-man doll
frat boy culture is nutting every time you see one of your bros score a three pointer
A Haiku
Drinking from the bong
We all sip up, but alas
Spider flavored lube