rambles

this blog isn't meant to be anyone's entertainment, it's meant for me to let out certain feelings. pls don't follow

[constantrambling]

i guess i'll never get over this fucking trauma

[constantrambling]

hi, it's been a while since i posted on this blog

that's a rly good thing for me because i usually only post on this blog when im stressed or sad! ive been doing a lot better lately and i'm currently on a path to success in life. i hadn't felt genuine happiness in a long time (like, 3 years) so this is almost overwhelming. i've taken care of everything that i needed to, and it was a huge weight off my shoulders.

some updates in my life since i last posted!!:

-i started dating someone!!! she treats me v v well and i hope that this lasts :) she's so sweet, we have a lot in common, and we get along so well!!! she's so so so beautiful and i an head over heels for this girl

-i still haven't applied to ucf but i got into usf and fgcu lmao

-i reconciled with a lot of people i had severed ties with, because i figured that it's better to have them in my life as friends than as people who create tension where it's not needed.

-i have made a lot of new friends and i have gotten closer to old ones. i feel very loved and i have a lot of love for all of them

-i may or may not already have a place to work at immediately after college ;)

-i am directing my school's spring musical!! and i was casted in my favorite musical of all time at the top theatre company in florida!!! i had to drop out of the acting part due to financial reasons + the government shutdown but i still have a lot of love for the people involved as well as the show, and i will be seeing it over summer !!

-i finally got a dab pen lol

-im not getting high every day anymore lmao

[just-shower-thoughts]

Your future self is talking shit about you

[thirst]

x

[constantrambling]

hmm. im really fucking my ex now huh

[hardstoplucas1]

[yourbigsisnissi]

dating is supposed to be empowering. it’s supposed to make you feel good. it should be about two people, enthusiastically wanting to get to know each other and spend time together. it’s supposed to make you feel good and add joy and fun to your life

if talking to/dealing with/dating/getting to know a person isn’t like that, it’s probably a waste of time

[constantrambling]

I’m mad at everybody don’t touch me

[constantrambling]

UHHH IM HAVING A GAY CRISIS

[redlipstickresurrected]

Jiye Xue aka Jìyè Xuē aka Xue Jiye aka 薛继业 (Chinese, b. 1965, Dalian, Liaoning, China) - Untitled, 1998 Paintings: Oil on Canvas

[unapologeticsuggestion]

you get what you deserve. i’m glad to see your shit finally falling back on you and i hope you suffer for it. you can’t blame anyone except yourself this time.

[constantrambling]

survival of the fittest

hurt

sometimes tastes

like fire at the back of your throat

like anger

like tears you hold in because

the ones they'd be shed for

don't deserve it

..

isn't it impressive

how we are able to love

monsters so unconditionally?

..

isn't it even more impressive

how they retract their claws

and hide their fangs

when they come to you --

pretending to be wounded and helpless,

clasping your hands and begging for help

..

isn't it tragic

how you kiss them

and don't realize their potential to kill

when your lips graze their teeth?

..

isn't it even more tragic

how you let them drain you dry

because you love them you love them

you love them

even though they saw you

as nothing but prey?

[fuckyahumor]

somebody: you're cool

me: you have been greatly misled

[lovelysuggestions]

do not put up with passive agression. the people in your life should respect you enough to be straight forward with you. If someone does not come to you directly with an issue, it is not yours too fix. you can’t spend all your time picking apart your relationship with someone, searching for what you did, and blaming yourself when you don’t even know what for. it’s not fair for people to put you through that.

[sophrosynic]

equally as important–learn to dismantle the impulse to be passive aggressive on your end. cultivate the skills required to be honest and accountable about your feelings, not just to the people around you, but also for your own sake. it’s when you learn to be honest to yourself about what you’re feeling that you really start to flourish.

[aidashakur]

[svndered]

can’t wait for the day someone actually stays

[siickangel]